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The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Funny Things that you thinks funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Jimmy Cox all the Time, Alan Cox Show kicksash.

Speaker 4 (00:15):
Man, welcome to me. What you yeah? I canna see
a lot of cocks on TV?

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Allen Cox from the Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
I don't know what it's about you, but I can't
get sad.

Speaker 5 (00:25):
Thank you, So it don't be a crazy Let's take
it coffee kick.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
And you'll get eight with a nasty group.

Speaker 6 (00:33):
Okay, what doing?

Speaker 5 (00:34):
Three tickets?

Speaker 7 (00:36):
Tike it?

Speaker 3 (00:37):
Tom Sam, put you one time ticket.

Speaker 8 (00:42):
Allen Cox.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
Here we go, he'll add, he'll be time.

Speaker 9 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
double U m ms.

Speaker 4 (01:05):
Well, hello, good afternoon, greetings, Welcome, welcome, welcome, thanks for
being here. My name is Alan Cox. Welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Say how to Rob?

Speaker 4 (01:16):
Anthony? What's up?

Speaker 6 (01:17):
Man?

Speaker 4 (01:17):
He's right over there. Jess is back in studio. G
Hi hi, if you'd like to join us, we would
love to have you.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Cox Welcome.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
The hell is that? Anthony? What's up? What am I hearing?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Jess is back in the studio?

Speaker 4 (01:31):
G it sounds like hi show is yeah, I love
to have you. Is it? It's coming through uh studio.
G Oh, she's just shut the Uh. You've probably got
the audio on your YouTube channels. Somehow hit the speaker
muted if you're watching the YouTube stream.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
I fixed it.

Speaker 10 (01:54):
There.

Speaker 5 (01:55):
You see.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
These are all the little things every day here. And
I heard Cleveland. It is a different way of troubleshooting, right. Well, yeah,
look around man. The mess to to my right here
is incredible today. Oh we've got a ladder. I can
actually show it. Here's camera three. Here we go, look
at that. Yeah, they're doing some well. We had an

(02:16):
we had engineers in here, in and out of this room.
You know, I'm working here for hours once the Mark
Nolan show vacates and in between when we come on,
and so I'm in here and sconcedin my little comedy coffin,
and all last week we had engineers in and out
and in and out doing some kind of upgrades or

(02:37):
firmware update or something. I don't know on these monitors
because they're you know, and there's somebody still doing something
with some of them. They can't figure. These are just
TV screens that have a variety of inputs on them,
and for whatever reason, we're in here half the time,
Like when your grandmother tries to figure out how the
roku works. Right, Like in the nineteen forties they could

(02:58):
figure out how you hit a button on the board
and it turns a light on in the hallway that
says on air. And in twenty twenty five it has
to do all these magic things. And now that one
little key function doesn't work well because nothing's hardwired anymore, right,
I mean, it's all software based and things aren't hard
patched anymore. And you know, it's a lot just nuts.
It's different, very very different. I left to have a

(03:22):
pitch like maybe a half an hour forty five minutes
before the show. And in that short time, I mean
it's not short. I shouldn't say you had to walk
all the way down the whole way and all the
way back. But I came in and there that ladder
was in there. It was like, all right, well, somebody's
doing something directly above that TV is there's a clock
that's supposed to be there that doesn't work. And now
I said, oh, just take one out of the other
studios don't do that. Well, the studios don't get used. Yeah,

(03:46):
well you have a clock on your phone. There's clocks
on every surface in the building. Use it. Well, that's
what I said, Okay. The only reason, the only reason
I took that down is because it was just flashing
nothing and it was directing. It was in my periphery,
so I took it down. And there are timers and
clocks on every surface in this room, so it's not
like I really needed that. I've got one in my
in my control panel here. But nevertheless, it's a habit

(04:09):
to look up there and see that, and I'm still
trying to break myself with that habit. Again, that's all
inside baseball. Who cares first world problems?

Speaker 11 (04:17):
Right?

Speaker 4 (04:17):
If you'd like to join us two one six, five
seven eight one double oh seven or eight hundred and
three four eight one, double oh seven, three five one
nine two is the number to text. This is the
time every year rob for people who do pay attention
to these things, or all of people's streaming services will
give them year end recaps. And we have a lot

(04:38):
of very dedicated listeners to this program who are nice
enough to forward screen grabs of how much time they
spend consuming this crap. Rock Our crap that we uh sweat,
blood and tears to produce every single day. I got

(04:59):
an attachment from Sean in an email. He is one
of the top three percent of viewers of our YouTube channel.
You know you to everybody sends recaps the Alancock Show.
He's a top three percent of the viewers to the
show on YouTube. It's like seventeen thousand hours of viewing

(05:20):
and listening. Christina, the iHeart app does a year end rewind.
I think a lot of people most closely associated with Spotify, which,
by the way, Spotify rapped told me that my listening
age was thirty one. Really yeah, and our friend djjc
his had him at seventy one sixty eight and I
was like, good for you. God, if only it had

(05:41):
been one more or less rob seven six seven or sixty.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Sixty nine.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
Nice nine, you're listening to ages sixty eight. See what
used to happen is when my son used to be
on my Spotify year end. A thing would be like,
you've listened to Drake more than anyone else. Look the
hell is this what iHeart does a rewind on their
app too, And Christina says that every minute that she

(06:13):
basically uses the app for this show. Yeah, and that
this past year she listened for twenty five and eighty
eight minutes. That's a lot on the app on the app,
either listening to US live or listening to the podcast.
Hold on, I got something here to read.

Speaker 11 (06:29):
Hang on.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
Thank you for making us station the most listened to
music station. Oh no, no, that's not thank you for
making podcast the most listened to podcast on the iHeart
app in insert state Ohio. Sorry, yes, that's us out
Uh huh your name? I forgot that would do solemnly

(06:54):
swear y bhi, I'm rob. Her top listening day of
twenty twenty five was June the twenty third, which just
happens to be your boy's birthday, rom and I'm sure
that's coincidental, but nevertheless, she said, the entire twenty five
thousand minutes of listening is your show, either live or podcast. Finally,
I'm in the top ten percent for something, she said,

(07:16):
and I'm feeling pretty damn proud. So that's from Christina,
So thank you. But I've had a lot of people
you and I getting tagged in people's like screen grabs
of listening and things like that, and it's just kind
of funny, you know when they do the year end recaps.
I guess because I think most people know what bands
they listen to the most, even if you have a

(07:37):
very broad kind of musical taste, and I think that
I do, even though I'm a big heavy metal guy.
But you know, it'll tell you what genres you listen
to the most, and minor metal and yacht rock and whatever.
So I kind of am all over the place. There's
a lot I listen to a lot of I like
percussive music, so anything like EDM I like, and some

(07:59):
some forms of round that are more percussive than others.
It combined my kids stuff in mind, did it? Yeah? Yeah,
But I mean nothing surprising. If you had to say
a band, who would you think my most listened to
band is on spot?

Speaker 12 (08:12):
Yours?

Speaker 4 (08:13):
Or this is mixed in with your kids. It's mixing
with my kids. But you can weed out there so
you can see your most has probably led Zeppelin. It's
not surprisingly. I was shocked. It is uh, it is
sublime with Rome and only with Rome. Got it nailed it?
Now that's Stansbury's. That Stansbury your most listened to And
it's not Jimmy Buffett, Billy Joel William, Joel Oh, I

(08:37):
don't know, Pink Floyd, Okay, Pink flo By and by
a lot all right. Like I've listened to the Wall
like many, many, many times this year, Jess, is this
anything you pay attention to?

Speaker 13 (08:49):
Do you?

Speaker 4 (08:50):
Does this show you what Spotifi?

Speaker 6 (08:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 14 (08:52):
My age was seventy three, it was, Yeah, so she's
older than me.

Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah, that's because she's listening to Grandpa Tyler and uh yeah,
my Grandpa Tyler and old God I Love. Have you
watched that documentary in HBO? Watch It's a few years old,
but I remember watching it at Christmas, maybe twenty twenty
two or three. It's I think it's called How Deep
Is Your Love? It's a Beg's documentary on HBO. It's

(09:17):
just Dynamo, I need to Barry. Is the last one Alive?
It's crazy. It's called ha ha the end. That's right,
staying alive. It might actually be called that. It might
be called staying alive. But anyway, if you were to
go in there and you know, search for Beg's HBO,
you'd find it anyway. For everybody who's kind of ascending

(09:38):
along those attachments, and those screen graps. Thank you, we
do appreciate it. My second most listen was Fleetwood mac Allen.
Can you believe that led Zeppelin was top five? Came
in at four. Yeah, I felt very weird, but I
listened to Fleetwood, Matt, you want to feel aware. My
number two The Wiggles, Hey, don't ask to chug a
chug A big salad.

Speaker 6 (09:58):
Yummy, yummy. The One Car Show.

Speaker 15 (10:02):
One seven, Some Things are too Good to be true,
This Thing is too true to be good and one
hundred seven.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
On the subject of those year and realigns. This was
my most listened to goodness. It was Jimmy Bohorn Dance
across the floor, you're growing up with it early in
the show. Today I needed something that raised my spurts.
I'll tell you what, man, You'll never feel bad after
you hear a little bit Jimmy Bohorn. Right, it's impossible

(11:03):
to be mad when they like, if this song came
on and you were just in a car accident, you'd
be like, I can always get a out of the car.
It's impossible to be mad when this song is on.
But you know what, Rob, somehow, I bet we'll find
a way and will power through.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Wow, it's on, it's on. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (11:21):
Well, those songs from back in the day of the seventies,
they're pretty short, right. I did, of course, a little
bit of editing to this song, but the full song
is only about two minutes long, and so if you
listen to it in rapid succession, would you just loop
the hook now? I kind of chopped out the middle
verse there, Yeah, to get to the ladies quicker Alan,

(11:42):
Did you hear the news some homeless guy beat the
piss out of some older lady thinking that she promised
to quote take care of him and then ignored him.
Later it turns out he mistook her for somewhere else.
You see what they did there, Rob, an older lady.
I'm laughing because it had I was like, oh my god,
what happened? And then a bitch a lapsed time in

(12:05):
the show Rob twenty two minutes and forty eight seconds.
Somebody started to troll me. All right, fine, you know what,
have your fun. We've only got eight live shows left
in twenty twenty five. And then who will you make
fun of? You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.

(12:25):
Then what will you do? Is that including this one,
or is there eight? Tomorrow there will be eight. We
have five next week, we have the fifteenth and sixteenth,
and we have tomorrow. So by my math after today,
that makes eight live shows remaining for twenty twenty five now.

Speaker 6 (12:42):
And what a year.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
It's bettofit body al so exciting. Hey, your Cavalier's lost
last night. Didn't have a great time against the Portland Trailblazers.
They had a great time because they're not a great
basketball team, so but both of them were relatively hobbled too.
Trailblazers had a bunch of guys out, Caves had a
bunch of guys out one twenty two to one ten
the final Trailblazers, the Calves gave them their ninth win

(13:07):
last night. So there you go off tonight. But the
Calves are here through the week. So tomorrow night, the
San Antonio Spurs will be in town play the Calves.
That is a seven thirty tip off tomorrow night, seven
o'clock pregame. The Spurs are a very good basketball team
and so we'll see what they do tomorrow night. I mean,

(13:29):
I know that that they had some injuries, but with
the team that they had on the floor last night.
There is no reason they lost that. I was surprised. Yeah,
I mean, it wasn't like it was a scroll had
three of your biggest I mean you had Evan Mobley,
you had Darius Garland, you had Donovan Mitchell. Lonzo Ball
was playing like I don't know, man, they got to

(13:50):
figure something out. And listen, Lonzo Ball. If this kid
plays basketball as well as he raps, oh, we're all
in Clover. He was one of the opening guys of
that Kevin Gates show at Nautaco a while back. It's
just amazing to me, man, Donovan Mitchell has another thirty
point game and they lose. Like he's averaging over thirty

(14:13):
a game and they're losing basketball game, Like, I don't know, man,
that's a that's a That team should be much better
than thirteen and ten. Again, I know they have injuries,
I get it, but it's not like you're starting a
bunch of scrubs. Yeah you're not. Yeah, it's weird. I
don't know, really is Yeah, because all of the articles
recently they were they just came off with three game

(14:34):
skid and then they beat the Pacers and they're kind
of still wobbly, and all of the write ups subsequent
to these games are along the lines of the Cavs
flaws exposed, and I'm like, they have a lot of
good players, so hopefully they get that figured out. Again.
It's still early in the season. I mean, I got

(14:55):
basketball to be played. There's there's a lot. I was
listening to the pre game yesterday and Jim Chones just
kind of kept saying, you're gonna get better the more
you play together. Right, it's still early in the year,
and he's right, But I mean, god, it's not like
it's five games into the year. They're twenty five games in. Yeah,

(15:16):
yeah they are. That's that's a pretty good Uh, that's
a pretty good time frame to determine this is the
team you have. Yeah, so who knows, you know what
it's that starts counting way more after January. So get
it out of your system now if you have to,
I guess, but yeah, rough to watch for sure. Somebody

(15:36):
texted me in the break that this show is their
top podcast WMMS, their top station their year end rewind
seventy six seven and twenty four minutes on the iHeartRadio app. Wow,
how about that? Thank you and seventy five thousand of
those minutes. It kind of worked, So.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
That's exciting for them.

Speaker 4 (15:59):
That's a that's a lot of Mario Lopez human trafficking commercials. Hey,
if you're listening, Hey guys, it's Mario Lopez, my buddy,
my buddy, Bob text me in the break too. It's
the same thing he's been listening for. It like all
in for the year, listens to the station, listens to
us forty thousand minutes of listening, so full month. It's
all of February listening to us. And by the way,

(16:20):
thanks Bob. Sure this is all data driven because of
how media is consumed now. But a huge, huge, massive
shout out, by the way, too, who to those of
you who's still listen to us on the radio right
because a lot of people still there's already track that
right now. If you really really cared, you'd have a
pad and a pen and you'd count the minutes yourself.

(16:43):
But I realize, you get a life to lead, you
can't be compiling your own data. Hey, alen, Mario Lopez here.

Speaker 16 (16:51):
The holidays are just around the corner, and it's a
wonderful time to spend time with family. And friends and
give thanks, but it's also the time of the year
where most people commit suicide.

Speaker 4 (17:03):
Guy's a mention. You know, he is nothing if not
keeping his finger on the pulse of public service.

Speaker 6 (17:09):
Good.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
I get a lot of emails, you know, I'm on
a lot of email.

Speaker 4 (17:14):
I subscribe to a lot of sub sacks and things
like that, and some of them are more kind of
nerdy and boring in nature. But I also get a
lot of like travel emails as well, Ryan, I like traveling,
and so I like to kind of have ideas along
the way. And I got one this morning that said
let me find it here. It said seven of the

(17:34):
prettiest towns in the Northeast. Now I immediately opened it because
I read it as seven of the pettiest towns in
the Northeast. Well, I guaranteed the same. Yeah, I was like, oh,
what does that look like? By the way towns, they'd
be like, I guess if you want to come here,
you can nice car Manchester by the sea, Massachusetts. By

(17:59):
this see it's a dry town. Well now to Gloston.
It's on the sea rock. You can't buy looking at water.
You can't buy booze there. Where's no Packe, He's no
bas the Commonwealth, right, the laws are weird. Now, it's
just that town. Uh, Little Compton, Rhode Island beautiful?

Speaker 13 (18:18):
Now?

Speaker 2 (18:19):
Is that where easy is from?

Speaker 4 (18:20):
So it's so funny. I thought the exact same stuff.
I was like, well, little Compton and Fall River. I'm
thinking of all of these things that by name. I'm like,
oh that place sounds really nice. Little Compton must be
a toilet, and this other Fall River must be great. Wrong,
Central Falls, No, terrible, don't go anywhere near. But Little
Compton is one of the most beautiful places you will
ever see. It's where they filmed me, myself and Irene,

(18:44):
all those water shots m M with these outside with
the kids standing on the water, Little Compton right now.
So terrible movie, but beautiful scene. That's an incredible movie.

Speaker 11 (18:52):
Me.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
Are we talking about the same me myself and Irene
and Jim Carrey? Yes, where he has the split personality.
Oh that's a great movie. Terrible here I quote one
Charles Barkley, Agree, Agree, terrible? Terrible Me was that Rene Zellweger.
It was just your thoughts as the cinematic guru around here,

(19:17):
for whom Paul Blart mall cop is her favorite movie
of all time. Your thoughts on the movie, provided you've
seen it, me myself and Irene.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
No I haven't.

Speaker 4 (19:25):
You've never seen it? Okay, Oh dude, that's a good movie. Man,
I'm really surprised that you don't think that movie's funny.
Was that also a fairly brother's thing? It was, okay,
because didn't What was the movie that Woody Allen did
where Matt Damon was a conjoint? Was it Stuck on you?
Matt Damon and Greg Knei? Ye?

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Was that what he ellan?

Speaker 4 (19:41):
Or was he originally supposed to direct? That was? It
was the Farley Brothers. Okay, Oh, it looks like a
good movie.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
No, terrible.

Speaker 4 (19:49):
Stuck was awful me myself and Irene is the one
where he has the three black kids are his his children. Yes,
he raises them as a single dad, and he finally
has like a mental break. It was shot like copy. Yeah,
that's why you liked it, right, Like, oh, I know,
it's just a really really funny movie.

Speaker 2 (20:06):
It is not it is.

Speaker 4 (20:07):
Nevertheless, It was released on June twenty third, two thousand,
rob the year that I turned twenty nine years old,
And uh, it was a box office success, So I'm
in the minority on that. I love it a lot
of It made a lot of money. That's like, in
my top twenty favorite comedies, it made about one hundred
and fifty million dollars. Love that movie, Well, maybe I

(20:29):
should go back and watch it. It's just so funny,
the way that he raises his kids and all this
stuff that happens when he cracks. I mean, I like
the people in it, Chris Cooper, Robert Forster, Rip, Richard Jenkins,
a lot of good people in it. But I recall
seeing it in the theater and not enjoying it.

Speaker 17 (20:48):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (20:48):
Yeah, I'm really surprised, all right. With your comedic mind
that you have and the stuff that we talk about,
I'm very surprised that you didn't think that movie was good.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Well, you know what, it is.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
As unbelievably talented and funny as I think Jim Carrey is,
he walks a very fine line with me. Sure, so
some movies where he seems to kind of be doing
the exact same thing, I'm like, that one's funny. This
one isn't.

Speaker 6 (21:11):
Sure.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
So yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'll go back and
watch it again, you know, what Rob, I will put
it on my watch list. Good. As soon as I getmentaries.
As soon as I get through the last sixteen hours
of the Ken Burns documentary on country music and It's History,
I will watch me myself and I yeah, fantastic.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
All right.

Speaker 4 (21:33):
What other towns I'm sorry I got in the region? Oh? No,
the seven pettiest towns in North English, Clinton, New Jersey. Okay,
welcome to Clinton. Hard to call that the northeast, but okay, yeah, right, Woodstock,
Vermont very nice, all right, different kind of nice, though, mountains.

Speaker 6 (21:51):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
Tits Pennsylvania.

Speaker 4 (21:56):
I believe it's pronounced lit its. Oh it is, yeah,
l I T I t z. But do you ever
see the uh there's a news caster who screws that up.
Did you ever see that? I don't think. So she
says it, and the news guy loses it. He goes
She's like, what Tits Pennsylvania. He's like, oh, so that's
in Lancaster County. That's like in the middle of nowhere. Yeah,
and then he starts to laugh at Oh. This says

(22:16):
WGN in Chicago, the great Robin Baumgart and I used
to work with her one hundred years ago. She says, Litits.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
Okay, here's some other great town names. Liatits.

Speaker 6 (22:28):
You know that's not that's not right.

Speaker 4 (22:37):
Golly, where'd they get that?

Speaker 18 (22:42):
Can?

Speaker 4 (22:43):
I ask the producer and she said that right, you know,
it's littles. They have a lot of viral clips Channel
nine in Chicago, which is a superstation, and so a
lot of people came cubs fans around the country because
they had Channel nine. Robin Baumgarten, who is the female

(23:05):
morning anchor there. I when I first was an intern
in Chicago nineteen ninety two. She was fresh out of college.
She's a few years older than me, and I was
interning for a morning show there and she was our
traffic girl and she just stuck around and worked her
way up and she's been a morning news anchor there

(23:27):
for twenty five years. And she couldn't be nicer. It's
a lovely woman. But yeah, she ends up that show
ends up going viral a lot because they just do
like bits and stuff.

Speaker 6 (23:38):
Yeah you know.

Speaker 4 (23:39):
Yeah, is that the Jim Carrey movie where he rides
the segue around the mall? No, I think he's thinking
of all Blurt and mall cup Alan me, myself and
Irene has some steely Dan covers. I know, I remember that.
I do remember that. I think that was like a
little bit before I kind of started getting into seely

(23:59):
Dan came to them late. But you know, so the tits,
then what the other towns Stonington, Maine. This probably lodged
the country up there. Yeah, Rocky coastlines, it's up there.
It says it's a bustling harbor.

Speaker 11 (24:17):
It is.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
Crockett Cove Woods. And I'll owe hote cold Spring in
New York right it there on the Hudson, New York
and New Jersey feels weird for a great list. Call
it New England. Yeah, yeah, Northeast. I'm sorry. Yeah, but
again I opened this particular. You know, sometimes I'll get

(24:40):
these emails and I'll kind of see the log line.
I go, no, there's nothing there. But I read it
as seven of the pettiest towns, not prettiest towns. I oh,
I gotta find out. And there is a lot of
petty in those towns. Manchester very petty. Uh, Little Compton,
Rhode Island was not the worst. Barrington's the worst. I
will say Barrington, Illinois is the worst too. It's a

(25:02):
hoity toity suburbs. Oh my god, Barrington, Rhode Island, it is.
It's the old money of the state. Yeah, so it's
it's that in the town that I lived in, East Greenwich,
or the one and two money towns in that state,
and they fight over who has the best schools and
blah blah blah blah. Barrington, Illinois is so hoity. That
was the first suburb in Chicago to get a Heinans.
Oh was it? Oh yeah, they looked around and they go,

(25:22):
oh my god, it's a sea of white. So heine
is not just a state thing.

Speaker 11 (25:27):
It's not.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
Well, it is a local thing. But then I think
they started to branch out, but they had to go
into really affluent communities. So there are two or three
of them outside Chicago, but they're in very affluent communities. Yeah,
which is where they belong. I mean, I love Heinens,
but I mean I live in Bay Village, you know
what I mean. So it's the one in Strongsville. Yeah.
Shades of difference. Really me myself and I REAMA was

(25:48):
one of my favorite movies growing up because I thought
it was funny. Now that I'm older and I'm usually
one bad day away from having a meltdown. This person says,
it's still one of my favorite movies because I connect
to it so many levels. Crack. One of these days, Alan,
it's time for me to ask you yet again, to
give the movie Year one another. Try No, that movie sucked. Yeah.

(26:12):
First of all, I don't like Michael Sarah anything other
than arrested Development. I will have Well, I like Scott Pilgrim. Pilgrim,
I will avoid it. If he's in it. What's it
called Year one? Year one? He's gonna try it? And
Jack Blacker cave men. I think I started it. I
remember watching about ten minutes of it and thinking it
was terrible. But if this guy's saying he asks all
the time, maybe there's a reason, so I will try it.
I will watch it. I nothing bums me out more

(26:34):
than a movie that looks hilarious and you watch it,
you go, god, damn, this could There was a movie
years ago called The Little Hours. Did you ever watch
that where Aubrey Plaza is a nun? I don't think so,
but they talk like modern day, like there are nuns
in this cloister. Alison Bree was in it, and I'm like,
oh my god, this is gonna be funny.

Speaker 6 (26:53):
It was awful.

Speaker 4 (26:55):
No, I never saw that.

Speaker 6 (26:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:57):
Year one has a fourteen percent score on Rotten Tomato.
I mean, I mean, I think you might be in
the minority. Good good text me. Yeah, I don't ever
really look at the Rotten Tomatoes, but I take your point,
you know. Yeah, Alan, I love the movie Me myself
and Irene because it's the first movie that I got
car Oral in Choral, he got drive in Dome right there,

(27:25):
Me myself and Irene. Oh boy, all right, Well that's
maybe that's why I don't like it, Rob, because I
went on a date and I was promised hand stuff
and it didn't happen. You get promised hand stuff, well
back then, you know you promised hands. Well, you were
getting promised hands stuff this particular instance. I was, Yeah,

(27:48):
I could see that. At seventeen, someone's like, hey, come on,
take me to the movies. I'll give you a Well
I was still married. We'll do the popcorn trick.

Speaker 6 (27:55):
Yes, but.

Speaker 4 (27:58):
Twenty nine hands uh? Alan, please tell Rob thank you.
Frankenstein was amazing. I loved it. Frankenstein it's pronounced Frankenstein. Yes, No,
I haven't watched it. I've had so many people light
me up for my my take on that that movie sucked.
It's so good, damn by good for you. So it's
nice to hear one person finally say thank you. Well,

(28:19):
they're probably not alone. I mean, it's like the most
streamed movie over there on Netflix right now, So even
if people are watching it out of curiosity, it's not
like all of.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Them are walking away angry, you.

Speaker 4 (28:28):
Know, just the ones that reach out to me and
tell me I'm an idiot. Yeah, Alan, I know you
don't like Michael Sarah, But did you like super Bad?
I did not, because I also don't like Jonah Hill,
so that was kind of a I liked Bill Hayter
and the other guys and as the cops early I'm
a stone. But now I didn't care for super Bad.
I thought it was really overrated. The whole Miclovin thing
is like enough, it was overrated, but it was a

(28:50):
funny movie. No, I get it. I mean I'm in
the minority on that one too, because that's considered like
a like a modern day classic of sorts. Was super Bad?

Speaker 6 (28:58):
I wouldn't.

Speaker 4 (28:58):
I wouldn't put it as a class No, Like I
think when you start talking about of that time, those
movies something about Mary, I know that was a little
bit earlier. But then you get into like step Brothers
and Old School and things like that, and I think
those are on a different level than anything else. Also,
the thing is just generational, like super Bad is like
a millennial comedy. Right, oh seven? Yeah?

Speaker 13 (29:19):
Is it that late?

Speaker 11 (29:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (29:20):
It's okay, all right, all right, it's fine, it's fine.
But I don't think Michael Sarah or Jonah Hill or
f I don't like. I don't care for them. What
about The Hangover? Did you like The Hangover? I like
the first one? Yeah? Did you like it out of
the gate?

Speaker 6 (29:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (29:33):
I was late to the party the first time I
saw it, like it had been out for months. Like
Old School is not a movie that I think is
particularly funny, Okay, but I know people love that movie,
and I understand it. That's why these those like broad
comedies like some of them, I love and and some
of them. Did you like step Brothers? I like Step
Brothers a lot, But again, for me, it's not a
movie that requires repeated viewings because they're so overbearing. By

(29:57):
the end of that movie, I'm fully identifying with the dad,
you know, I think that's them, Like, all right, but
these dudes up, I don't give Oh.

Speaker 6 (30:08):
My god, The Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 19 (30:11):
On one hundred seven.

Speaker 4 (30:16):
One seven WMMS.

Speaker 20 (30:19):
Cleveland phone operators are standing by with their thumbs up
their asses waiting for you to call.

Speaker 21 (30:26):
So cool, call the Alan Cox Show two one six
five seven eight one double oh seven or one eight
hundred three four eight one double oh seven.

Speaker 4 (30:43):
Three five one two. If you want to send me
a text Alancoxshow dot com, email me there if you
like Alan Alancoxshow dot com. I've sent out a bunch
of another big batch of Alan Cox Show stickers to
people if you need those. I heard from Jeff, who
used to be a bureau chief in Columbus, but he is,

(31:06):
by his words, unfortunately now back in Northeast Ohio. But
he said the show makes it bearable to live here.
Rob clearly he's a much bigger fan of being in Columbus.
But anyway, I sent him some stickers, so I'm always
happy to send them out. When we were in Chicago
this past weekend for Thanksgiving, I took both of my

(31:29):
daughters to the Balloon Museum, which I thought was going
to be more of like a kid's thing. You know,
my older daughter was just kind of coming for a
larf because it was literally a few blocks away from
my son's apartment. He's like, you drop me off, I'll
get cleaned up because we were having dinner that night,
and I said, well, let me buy some tickets for
this thing called the Balloon Museum. And it was this massive,

(31:52):
massive exhibit space in the Logan Square neighborhood. And I
thought that it was, like I said, I thought it
was going to be more like a hid thing, but
then the tickets were like fifty bucks of pops. I'm like, well,
hopefully it's more than that, and it turned out to
be this. I posted one photo of it while I
was gone, and some people had commented on it. It
turned out to be like this massive art installation from

(32:13):
a variety of artists and a variety of media, but
all kind of balloon or inflatable based. So it was
actually really really cool, and I have to think that
this is one of those things that travels. I mean,
it's in Chicago through the end of April, but there's
this one giant room that's a pool and they ask

(32:34):
everybody to walk all the way in. It can accommodate
about one hundred and fifty people, and they ask everybody
to walk all the way around the perimeter and stand
there until they get to one hundred and fifty people.
And there's a pool that is full of two million
plastic balls, so it's basically like a giant ball pit,
but it has all these weird lights and everything, and
every giant room is different, and there's an easel when

(32:54):
you walk in that has information on the artist and
what their thoughts were and what the point of this
art is supposed to be. It was actually pretty cool,
but I just felt terrible for some of the people
working there because there's one room where all of the
walls are white and it's a giant clear balloon, like

(33:17):
a thin beach ball, right, but it has these protuberances
all around. It looks like Sputnik. Remember back in the
day the Russian satellites, they had what looked like spikes
all around it. And it turns out that these protuberances,
and the reason that the walls are white but they're
kind of gray in areas too, is that there it's

(33:39):
covered in or encircled in giant charcoal markers. And so
when kids are pushing these balloons around and people are
doing it. It's kind of making marks on the wall.
But this poor girl that was assigned to this room
had like a little microphone pack on and she was
just constantly repeating asking people to not please don't touch

(34:04):
the charcoal, Please don't push the thing, Please don't pull
on this, please don't. And as the entire time I'm
walking through this, I'm like, Jesus, any somebody could walk
in here and decimate this place with a knitting needle
because the whole thing is based on it's super super cool,
but it's completely based on a variety of inflatables. That's
probably why the price tag's fifty bucks to get in Jesus,

(34:26):
I'll tell you what, boy, you know, yeah, keeping the
riff raf out. Yeah. And then of course on your
way out, they walk you through the gift shop. Right,
that's what it is. They sell balloons, No, they sell
everything else. They sell like balloon kits, and one of
them is like X rated. It was like had the
F word all over it. Just want a balloons? Yeah,
well balloon remember my day? And I can't get a balloon.

(34:47):
They got like hoodies, a lot of clothing merch and
things like that, and you know, but it is cool.
It's there through April. If you find yourself in Chicago, Illinois,
it might be worth checking out because when we go somewhere,
it's like, you know, there's a lot of time spent
with my family, and I'm always looking for something that
my nine year old might really like. Right, she loved it. Yeah,

(35:10):
it's called Emotion Air. It's at this place called the
Field Studios, and it's just this massive, massive, uh, just
like this huge art venue. And through April they have
the Balloon Museum thing. Hey Mike, Hello, Rob, it's Alan

(35:31):
n Rob. What's going on? What's up, young Frankenstein?

Speaker 2 (35:39):
Is it Frankenstein or Frankenstein.

Speaker 4 (35:41):
Franke Frankenstein.

Speaker 2 (35:43):
Yes, And well is it Igor or I Gore?

Speaker 4 (35:46):
Well, i'd say Dealers, So I say I gore.

Speaker 11 (35:52):
Very good.

Speaker 22 (35:54):
That was probably one of the best comedies I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 (35:57):
Agreed, Yeah, no way, it's a melastic would never be
produced at this time of day. Well, the Crazy Thing
is unbelievably mel Brooks is the only one still alive
from that production. Peter Boyle's dead, Gene Wilder's dead, Terry
Garr's gone, Marty Feldman's gone, Madeline Cohn has passed. What's crazy?

Speaker 11 (36:16):
I mean?

Speaker 4 (36:17):
Mel Brooks is the oldest guy in the group. He's
stile lot, Yes he is.

Speaker 11 (36:20):
He's ninety ninety three.

Speaker 4 (36:24):
He's ninety nine, ninety nine. He'll he'll be yes, he
will be one summer.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
And then you had the brain abby, yes, abby.

Speaker 6 (36:39):
Normal, yes, normally? Yes, thank you man.

Speaker 23 (36:47):
Now that brain that you gave me, was it Hans
Bell Brooks?

Speaker 6 (36:55):
No? Good?

Speaker 5 (36:59):
Uh?

Speaker 23 (37:00):
Would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
And you won't be angry?

Speaker 2 (37:09):
I will not be angry.

Speaker 4 (37:13):
Ib be someone abby?

Speaker 6 (37:16):
Someone abby?

Speaker 4 (37:19):
Who?

Speaker 2 (37:20):
Abby?

Speaker 4 (37:20):
Normal?

Speaker 6 (37:24):
Abby?

Speaker 4 (37:25):
Normal? I'm almost sure that was the name.

Speaker 23 (37:34):
Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into
a seven and a half foot long, fifty.

Speaker 6 (37:45):
Four inch wide.

Speaker 5 (37:50):
Why what your ny?

Speaker 6 (37:55):
So good?

Speaker 4 (37:57):
Nobody else worked up like Jane Wilder. He's so happy
Because I was clicking around and Charlie and the Chocolate
Factory was on, and I was thinking it was Willie
Wonka with Gene Wilder, but it was the Johnny Depp
Because even as I'm turning it on, I go, no,
that's not what it was called. Charlie and Chocolate Factory
and I go, oh no, it was a Johnny Depp one,
which I had never seen and also didn't realize how
old that movie is. That movie's fifteen years old now, yeah,

(38:19):
and I had no interest in watching it because Johnny
Depp is doing this weird buck two thing or you
know whatever it is. He had his own take on
the character. They just redid it again, oh right, with
Timothy schallomeeah right, well, they didn't redo it. It was
like a different movie but still the same, a reimagining
rob uh huh uh huh.

Speaker 16 (38:39):
You see Allen Lonzo Ball does play basketball as well as.

Speaker 13 (38:44):
He raps, because he wraps like ass.

Speaker 4 (38:49):
That guy couldn't hit the broad side of a barn
last night.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
I don't know what's going on with these goddamn.

Speaker 4 (38:53):
Cavaliers, but it's pissing me off.

Speaker 13 (38:57):
Okay, that's enough, my blood rushers up hate the show,
all right?

Speaker 4 (39:04):
Was Rich from Northfield in the tub. I don't know
what was going on. I certainly hope so yeah, water draining,
something was happening there. The four million scrub rap openers
they had before the Kevin Gate show, one of them
was h Lonzo Ball and his brother. I think they're
called g Loo or something, and they were out there

(39:25):
spitting bars. But I guess it's I guess it's he's
got a huge song, so I shouldn't say scrub where
he's concerned. But I was like, let's get it. Come on, man,
everybody's entitled the Bad Games. Lonzo Ball is a hell
of a basketball.

Speaker 11 (39:37):
Is he?

Speaker 4 (39:37):
I just don't pay attention to him. I just you know,
I know early on he was completely overshadowed by his
dad trying to secure the bag, so I couldn't Yeah, right,
but I wasn't sure if he was the real dealer
or not. I don't pay that close attention to think
anybody who makes it to the NBA is significantly better
than anybody that you've ever seen play. Understood, But that's

(39:59):
the thing. But but can you stay in the NBA?
I mean absolutely, yeah, I totally see your point. I mean,
because people were talking about Bronnie James, right, but that's different.
Well well, I mean it's different in the sense because
Brownie's a little bit on the NEPO side of things, right,
Like that's the only reason he played for the Lakers.
He would have never played for the Lakers. Allen where

(40:20):
the tickets to the Balloon Museum fifty dollars because of inflation.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Yeah, I don't hate it.

Speaker 4 (40:29):
No, I don't hate it if you listen to us
on the iHeartRadio app from out of state, though, I
like to know where people are, a handful of new
bureau chiefs have checked into the program. Chris is a
new resident of Arlington Heights, Illinois, that is suburban Chicago.
Matt is in DC wild Willie Rob listens to the
show in Windsor, Colorado. Jackie is in Salt Lake City,

(40:52):
and Brendan is in Sparks, Nevada. Leave us messages if
you like.

Speaker 24 (40:57):
Hey, Ellen Robes, you were talking about stone Tuble Pilots
yesterday and you said that one of your favorite radio
moments of all time was with Scott Wiland.

Speaker 4 (41:11):
I was wondering what that was.

Speaker 6 (41:12):
I believe you may have discussed it before, but I
just do not remember. Please indulge me.

Speaker 4 (41:21):
I've talked about it before. When I was on in Pittsburgh,
we used to do a festival every remember radio stations
used to do festivals. Rob we did Buzzard Fest a
couple summers ago, yep, and that was kind of a
revival of that. But when I was on in Pittsburgh,
we did something called Xfest. Every year it was out
at the Shed the Starlight Amphitheater like Blossom, and the

(41:41):
second year, well, I guess the second year I was
there was two thousand and Stone Temple Pilots were our headliner,
and I was going to be bringing them out. And
the beauty of these festivals back in the day was
you'd have a handful of big bands, but then you'd
have a bunch of baby bands on the sides stages
like you'd had, you know. So that year it was

(42:03):
Stone Temple Pilots, Stained who were still I think on
a side stage ever Clear, cotton Mouth Kings. Remember Dynamite
Hack Oh yeah, right, your favorite style of music is
they did this like redoing the hip hop, stuffy country styler. Yeah,
some blue grass whitning and bluegrass. It was just them
going woke up quick, okay, Cypress Hill.

Speaker 16 (42:25):
Was there.

Speaker 4 (42:27):
A band called eight Stops seven? Remember them? No eight Stop?
They had like one hit, you know radio stations. Would
they get some paper spins? And anyway, Stone Temple Pilots
were our headliner, and so they obviously went on dead
last by this time, by the way, there was a
lot of nervousness because up there on the hill at Starlak,

(42:47):
people had started to set the lawn chairs on fire.
You could rent lawn chairs back then. They stopped doing
it after this year's ex Fest because the entire lawn
was up there on fire. Now I get out there
and you know me, I'm just playing with the crowd,
and so I'm making some you know, snide comments or
something like that. They wanted me to get up there

(43:09):
and chastise everybody for doing that, and I wasn't gonna
do that because I'm like, me, giving these guys a
hard time isn't going to put the fire out.

Speaker 6 (43:15):
Nope.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
So I made some.

Speaker 6 (43:20):
Joke.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
And normally, when you're gonna bring the headliner out, when
you're doing stage announcements, it can be frustrating for us
because it can be very anticlimactic. You get out there
and you and the crowd is in a frenzy and
you want to keep that momentum going. And a lot
of times what happens is, because bands have their own
intros and things, is you just tell them.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Hey, they're going to be out in a minute.

Speaker 4 (43:44):
You know, Hey, everybody ready, ready for some double pilots.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Nothing out in the second.

Speaker 4 (43:52):
You know one of those. It wasn't like that at all. Boys,
some tuble pilots came right so I'm getting everybody all
worked up. And these were so festival. So there's like
twenty six thousand people there and getting everybody worked up.
And they told me they said they're gonna come out,
and I was like, okay, and I thought maybe I
would announce them and they would walk out and start playing.

(44:13):
I you know the other golden rules, don't touch the
mic stand. Yeah, so I didn't touch the mic stand.
I get this huge build up to Stone Temple pilots,
and as soon as I turn around, Scott Wiland is
like running toward me. He's got bullhorn in one hand,
he's got his shirt off, he's running toward me. We

(44:36):
high five. I go off stage. He grabs the mic
and they go right in a cracker man. Oh my god,
and I'm like, oh my god. It just could not
The timing was perfect, kind of accidentally, because if I
had turned around a minute sooner or later, it wouldn't
have worked. But it was nothing. I coordinated with him.
Had you already seen the other dudes on stage, like,
were they already on or did they all kind of

(44:56):
come out at the same time. They must have been
coming out, why you were talk Yeah, because they started
playing as he was, you know, yeah, they launched right
into cracker Man. I was like, that was unops, unbelievable.
It was so good, the kind of stuff I love. Man, Yes, yeah,
it's great. So uh yeah, yeah, that was a good time.

(45:19):
And by the way, people are like, Alan, uh, you
guys were talking about sun Dimple Pilots. Do you remember,
because yesterday was the tenth anniversary of Scott Wiland's death,
and for whatever reason, I always think that he died
way before twenty fifteen. But he put out a Christmas album.
You remember that the Scott Wiland the Happiest time of
the year. Is that what it was called? The happiest
time of the year. He put out an album of

(45:40):
standards because he was like I just like that music
growing up and I wanted to see if I could
sing it. Yeah, what's his asses trying to do that
right now? From Creed uh tremaney Oh? Is he he's doing?

Speaker 11 (45:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (45:53):
I think I sent it to you. He's doing like
an album with standards except he can't sing all that well.
The scott Wiland Christmas Christmas it was called like the
it was called the most Wonderful Time of the Year,
and it was all he was singing, like Bing Crosby,
It's the most wonderful time of the year. This is
twenty eleven. It remastered a few years ago, but I

(46:14):
think it was twenty eleven.

Speaker 19 (46:18):
It's the most wonderful time.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
By the way, there's not a wink in this right,
this is not tongue in cheek. He's like, oh, he
did videos for it where it is like he looked
like Bing Crosby, wonderful. It's how about that. I forgot

(46:47):
all about that album. I think when you've done it
all man, when you've been a rock star for as
long as he had done the things he did and
was still alive, and he wants to make a Christmas
album green lighted make it, yeah, but in direct interest
to a lot of people who kind of play around
with it or it's very tongue in cheek. He was like, no,
I really like these songs and I want to know

(47:08):
if I can perform them the way that they did,
you know. So it was kind of more of a
creative exercise for him. I guess have yourself a merry
little Christmas? Why doesn't why don't they play these when
they do Christmas formats? Because it's too similar? Is it
too similar? Is that why? And no one's gonna care

(47:30):
about Scott Whitland. I don't know Cleveland's Christmas station next year, well,
because I think you know, Christmas stations. They can't really
subsist on just bing Crosby anymore. I mean, you know,
I saw I'm like, any opportunity to maybe hip it
up a little bit they might take. But but you're

(47:52):
probably right. People would be like, who the hell is
the Scott Island? Hey, nick yo, what's going on?

Speaker 6 (47:59):
What's going on? Man?

Speaker 22 (48:01):
Have you heard the Seth McFarlane Christmas album?

Speaker 4 (48:04):
It's phenomenal, it is good. Well, that's another guy who
really truly loves you know. I don't know if he
still does, but for a long time he had an
orchestra for Family Guy episodes. He had an orchestra play
the music for those episodes. He'd pay for the orchestra.
I did not know that. He's like, I just like
that whole thing. And yeah, so that's another guy who

(48:25):
it was not tongue in cheek boy. He liked the
Seth MacFarlane Christmas.

Speaker 22 (48:30):
I love the effort that he puts into that kind
of stuff, that he actually appreciates live music and live orchestral.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
You know, he's just a calendar guy.

Speaker 6 (48:38):
I'm with you.

Speaker 4 (48:39):
It's him and that girl Liz Gillies, that actress who
used to be on Disney Channel and then she was.

Speaker 22 (48:45):
They're funny too together, like the way they banter back
and forth, like the whole Dang album is fan fa fantastic.

Speaker 4 (48:50):
Whole dang album. All right, thank you, Nick, I appreciate it.
A guy named Nick, all.

Speaker 20 (48:54):
Right, this always sounds like the same guy Frosty, the
snow name Johnny Happy.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
He does and a button some two eyes made out
of cold even when he's putting. Now you can tell
it's him.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
It sounds like, uh, it sounds like.

Speaker 4 (49:21):
Right, or it sounds like Quagmire doing Yeah giggedy Christmas
Christmas tree Yeah, Seth McFarland good. I think they did
drop a previously unreleased Scott Wiland's song, an unreleased solo
track that I think his kid put on YouTube. Uh,

(49:43):
they dropped it for Black Friday. Too for record store Day.

Speaker 5 (49:54):
They don't know, thank you.

Speaker 4 (50:07):
I mean, he really did have a good voice, you know,
he just had a genuinely good voice. You know, early
on it was like I am, I am. There was
a lot of heavy lifting for him to do, but
I mean down the road. Yeah, he was legit, but
I already was. I always think that he's been dead
longer than ten years, but it was ten years yesterday
the Allen.

Speaker 19 (50:24):
Carr Show on one hundred sevens the car Show.

Speaker 4 (50:31):
Here's a piece of strong cheese keys has a.

Speaker 6 (50:34):
Sound probably all of its own.

Speaker 21 (50:39):
On one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 4 (50:50):
Cavaliers lose last night to the Portland Trailblazers. I don't
know who saw that coming, but there it is.

Speaker 6 (50:57):
One ten.

Speaker 4 (50:57):
The final cans off to but staying home through the
week they will play the San Antonio Spurs, who are
a good team. Tomorrow night, seven thirty seven o'clock is
your pregame coverage here on MMS. And I mean I
heard a running a out You could listen there. The
guys in Metallica, James Headfield in particular, he was profiled

(51:18):
on There's a show called CBS Sunday Morning. If you're
ever up and you're seventy five years old, you might
have clicked over there to see that. But Metallica was
they were doing a piece because they have They've always
been very philanthropic, by the way, over the years they
have this All Within my Hands Foundation or something. You know,

(51:39):
these guys have been very wealthy for a very long time,
and they're always kind of putting a lot of their
large ass into the hands of pointing it in directions
that they think they need it. And so part of
what they were talking about CBS a Sunday morning was
that they have they have millions of dollars that they
have put toward scholarships for people who want to go

(52:00):
to trade school. And so they featured this girl who
was a Metallica fan and she became one of nine
thousand Metallica scholars How about that. They're All within my
Hands Foundation has donated over ten million dollars. These guys
contribute when there's natural disasters to emergency relief, you know,

(52:23):
because we don't do that anymore. If you have a
natural disaster, the guy at the top just goes, oh,
screw you, good luck. Metallica. I have given money to
food banks. You know in cities when they come through,
they go, hey, a dollar of your ticket goes to
your local food bank or something like that. It doesn't
sound like much, and then you realize how many tickets

(52:43):
they sell and you're like, oh yeah, and by the way,
the tickets aren't cheap, right. But if you know, if
you're a Metallica fan, A, you don't care. B. If
you know part of it is going to something like this,
it's hitting you locally.

Speaker 11 (52:55):
You know.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Yeah, not everyone is built for college, and not everyone
needs college. It was very evident during COVID when we
weren't able to go out and do our thing. Entertainment
service went. But the plumber, the electrician, the truck driver,
the people that needed to help keep America running were there,

(53:16):
and thank God for them. My thought is that the
next millionaires will be the tradesman. How would you like
to have a million times? Yeah, a millionaire plumber come
to your house. Well, that's what's going to happen.

Speaker 4 (53:26):
A lot of tradesmen, you know that we hear from
them all the time. They make very good livings. Yeah,
as they should, by the way, But you know, I
think of my nephew, my sister's son, my nephew is
almost seventeen, and my mom and my sister are we're
talking about he's not going to college because to them,

(53:48):
colleges are bastions of liberal indoctrination. Right, except now it
looks like he's looking down the barrel of a volleyball scholarship.
Who is my nephew? Yeah, okay, yeah, he's very tall,
very athletic, plays basketball, but he's looking down the barrel
of a volleyball scholarship. And I go with Thanksgiving and
again I don't I don't get to prickly with my family,

(54:09):
But I go, wait, wouldn't that require him going to college?
And they were like yeah, but okay, so I guess
because before this they were like, he's going to learn
a trade. I go, that's great. I said, that's absolutely
correct that college is not for everyone, and there is
a case to be made for people who have a
problem with I think indoctrination is too strong of a word.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
That's kind of a right wing talking point.

Speaker 4 (54:35):
But I get where they're coming from. But yeah, Metallica
gives a lot of money to things like that. I mean,
that's not a band of guys who went to college, right,
College of rock and roll, sex, drogjan rock and Roll.
I'll tell you what though, I dug back into Saint Anger.
I was on a maybe the last road trip I

(54:56):
went on, when I was going to see my daughter
at MSU, and I dug into Saint Anger. Now, I'm
a guy who liked Saint Anger from the jump. I
was very much in the minority on that. And everybody
had a problem with Lar's garbage can snare, and I'm
a drummer, and I thought it was great. I go,
I get what these guys are trying to do, and
I understand that it's a little jarring to the ear,
but you know, you give anything. Twenty years and everybody

(55:18):
kind of in hindsight looks back and people are much
more complimentary now of Saint Anger. But I liked it
from the beginning. Eh it wasn't I mean, it was fine,
it was there. What it was it was their pro
tools record. There's no way that Lars was playing most
of those drums live. Right when you saw them on
the sant Anger tour, You're like, oh, he's slopping his

(55:38):
way through these tracks, like most of the songs that
he does with respect. But I mean, I was still
on the air in Pittsburgh and they had come to
me the record label. Are your friends at Q Prime
YEP and the record label. They were putting something together
real fast before the tour because the outcry on Saint
Anger was so loud. They were like, well, let's put

(56:00):
So they hit me up and they go, hey, do
you want to go to Chicago for a night to
interview Metallica? And I'm like, you had me at Chicago?
I mean, you know, I really I didn't have time
to go see my family or anything. Literally flew in.
They had Metallica set up at some hotel and I
don't know if they were they were had a tour gig.

(56:23):
I don't know what they were doing. It's it's a
little fuzzy in my mind. But they had I think
five radio shows from around the country that sat down
at by themselves and talked to Metallica about the record,
and I was able to genuinely tell them I think
st Anger's great. Did you get all of them? I got?
Because the Saint Anger album was technically the only one

(56:43):
that didn't have a bassist because Newsted had already left
and they didn't have Rob Truhio yet. So Bob Rock,
who was their producer, he played all the bass tracks
on that album, and that was the last one that
they did with him because remember the documentary where they
were all in therapy and that came from that. At
the making of that album, so Jason Newsaid had already
bolted and they hadn't replaced him yet when they made

(57:06):
the record. So I had Kirk, Yeah, I had the
other three. I had Kirk three of the four horse Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
it was great. That's one of my prize possessions. I
have the four of them together. Kirk's underwear. Oh no,
they signed Hardwired and sent me a copy. Mm hmm.
I have that framed hanging up my basement. Very few

(57:28):
things I will put up like in my house like that. Yeah,
that one. I was like, yeah, yeah, I mean it's
tru heo, but it's still I mean, he's been the
longest running bassist in that band. Well, and I met
Jason Newseid a one hundred years ago because his brother
was one of our sales guys in Kalamus of Michigan.
He's from Battle Creek really yeah, and he had been
with a band called flotsam and Jetsam out of Phoenix, Arizona,

(57:49):
and he had been in Metallica for a little while,
but that was when I met Newstead. But he had
had enough by that time. So yeah, it was the
other three guys. But yeah, it's funny when people kind
of retcon sat Anger and they go.

Speaker 6 (58:02):
Oh, yeah, I wouldn't that bad.

Speaker 4 (58:03):
I'm like anything. In hindsight, you could probably be a
little bit more generous with it. But I liked it
from the jump. Alan, When I worked at Rigid for
twenty years, there was a plumber out of Des Moines
who was filthy rich. His company name was the Turdologist.

(58:28):
I can't be right. I mean, why would you people
know what you do? Yeah, you know the mister Ruter
commercials where the kids are singing everybody you want to
talk about an earworm and the lady comes out, she goes, look,
we call what it is? Hey, yeah, yeah, Alan, it's well,
our buddy Ethan says, it's a license to steel, being

(58:51):
in the trades, you know, and he makes good money,
very good money, like a welder, union welder. Maybe I
don't think he's in the union. I think he works
on cars and stuff. All right, but in that yeah,
in that vein. Now, we do have a guy who
checks in with me pretty frequently who refers to himself
as the grumpy plumber, and he's like, plumbers don't get
to be millionaires because the overhead is too high. I'm

(59:13):
not quite sure what he means by that, but I'll
take him at his word. The overhead is too high.
You mean the pipes that are overhead? Is that what
he means reb ceilings are? It's got to bring along
a ladder one, uh huh, got one right here? Hi, everybody, Yeah,
we got a ladder in here. Has anybody been up
on this ladder? I have not seen, nor have I. No,

(59:37):
that's okay. Metallica do anything for you, Jess, they I
they I all right, there I E. But you're banned
into any Metallica. You didn't do it like Enter Sandman
or what we did. You did.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
It was what part of a mashup with I A'm
trying to.

Speaker 4 (59:57):
Think tiny bubbles by done don ho oh?

Speaker 6 (01:00:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Oh, five hundred.

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
Miles by the pretenders, No walk, five thousand miles by
the proclaimer.

Speaker 2 (01:00:11):
Five robs mile. Yeah, Well, I've been singing the wrong lyrics.

Speaker 4 (01:00:15):
The Pretenders have a song called five hundred miles. I
think right, no, it's either way around. I think I
just screwed it up. It's the Proclaimers in five hundred miles,
the creepy twenty one hundred miles. Oh yeah, you're right now,
would five bull when I wake up? Will be them Mountain,
the be them mount the Bee. So you mashed up
Etar Sandman with five hundred miles.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
Yeah, and then there's another song in there somewhere.

Speaker 4 (01:00:39):
Vanessa Carlton. I would walk five thousand mile. Wasn't that
the song? That's five hundred two?

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
It's a thousand miles, thousand thousand miles. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:00:48):
I was never good with math.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
I just wanted to do that song, and I'm like, dude,
come on.

Speaker 4 (01:00:52):
Want do Vanessa Carlton? Yeah, why what's the matter with that?

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
I just don't like that song.

Speaker 4 (01:00:56):
I wanted to do Vanessa Carlton.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Too, but I'm done.

Speaker 4 (01:01:01):
Rob wmms raw on social media. I didn't need to plug.
I was, come on, no, it's good. I think Vanessa
Carlton's foxy by the way, same is she like fifty five?

Speaker 5 (01:01:13):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:01:13):
Forty five? Shut up chess No, But like that was
her big hit, right. I was mixed her up with
Michelle Branch. She's the one that's married to Pat Carney
of the Black Keys really this week. Yeah, they're always
going back and forth.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
Oh she is kind of hot.

Speaker 19 (01:01:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
I think Vanessa Carlton's real cute. Michelle Branch. I can
see you mixing them up for sure.

Speaker 6 (01:01:32):
Yes, both.

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
It was her song, hers was U. I loved it
whatever it was. I remember I was top forty radio
when she do. She did some with Carlos Santana. She
had All you Wanted and everywhere, Oh you Wanted was
the big one. Yeah, because you're everywhere to me, Yeah,
I forgot about this. She was another girl who like
married her manager when she was like nineteen and he

(01:01:55):
was forty or something like that. That didn't go so well.
But yeah, no, she's with Pet Carney, been with him
for a minute. He's okay. So you so the only
Metallica that was really on your radar was you mashing
up Enter Sandman.

Speaker 11 (01:02:07):
Yep.

Speaker 14 (01:02:08):
I mean my dad was telling me a story yesterday
about Metallica, and I think when they got big, I
don't know he was. He's like I used to tell
people Jessica about they're gonna be a big band.

Speaker 2 (01:02:20):
They're gonna be a big band.

Speaker 4 (01:02:21):
Wait, wait a second, you're you're impersonating your father right now. Yes,
he calls you Jessica all the time. All right, Monroe, right, yeah,
that just like that. But Jessica, okay, why does he
call you by your full name?

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
I don't know. Maybe he just doesn't know my nickname, Theologist.

Speaker 5 (01:02:45):
Dad.

Speaker 25 (01:02:46):
I've asked you to call me the Turtologist. I'm lucky
that he calls me my correct name. Yeah, because I
have three sisters, right and and two of you each
have a twin mm hmm.

Speaker 6 (01:02:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:02:56):
Okay. So so anyway he's telling you I said they
were going to.

Speaker 6 (01:02:59):
Be a big band.

Speaker 21 (01:03:00):
Yep.

Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
Yeah. Is your dad my age?

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
He is sixty three?

Speaker 4 (01:03:04):
Oh thank god, thank god, oh god. Yeah, that was
getting a little nervous there for a second.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
Not gonna lie in a little bit.

Speaker 4 (01:03:11):
When you started talking about how your dad was telling
people Metallica was going to be a big band. I
was like, yes, so was I. Unless we're listening to
like I could easily be yeah, oh god.

Speaker 6 (01:03:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:03:23):
Ethan is an engineer devotion to accuracy. He's an engineer Hi.

Speaker 7 (01:03:28):
Alan, mother smucker here, let me know if you want
an accustible freezer or trigger.

Speaker 4 (01:03:33):
I think I can get you a freezer more easily. Oh,
an uncrustable freezer. The freezer's great, but the fridge. You
need the fridge though, Man, okay, fine, right well, she
said I I easier, freezer easier, but that's not going
to help you with your celsius and stuff. I'm less
worried about that because if you had my here, my selsey,

(01:03:55):
I have remained intact for some time now, so until
the next time with storm has passed. Yeah, but you can't.
I mean, everything's until the next time.

Speaker 6 (01:04:03):
Who knows.

Speaker 4 (01:04:03):
But if you live for today, Rob, But a freezer,
you put that thing where? And how big is it?
If you put it in here? It's just good for uncrustables.
I want to bring a frozen duck in, I hide
it behind the Christmas tree and then we never take
the tree down. Boy, was that subliminal?

Speaker 6 (01:04:18):
Huh?

Speaker 4 (01:04:19):
Just have I just instantly threw a duck out as
a frozen item in or a freezer? Yeah you did? Wow,
that just happened.

Speaker 7 (01:04:27):
Anyways, listening to the podcast, you're all talking about the
amazingly gay uncle Tony the hairdresser from Boston.

Speaker 4 (01:04:34):
The picture that.

Speaker 7 (01:04:36):
Rob painted in my mind is very much Missus Doubtfire's
uncle Frank Ye.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
I think Harvey Searsky, Harvey Firestein.

Speaker 7 (01:04:45):
Yeah, that's an image that came to mind. Voice and
all hit the show.

Speaker 4 (01:04:48):
Harvey fire Is. She couldn't be more correct, Harvey Firestein.
That was that was the comparison. When I was a kid,
we would say he was like mid the guy Missus Doubtfire.

Speaker 7 (01:04:56):
Hi, Alan mother smucker here.

Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
No, I don't want that. I want the song.

Speaker 5 (01:05:08):
Spreading.

Speaker 4 (01:05:27):
Oh you gotta love it. Amazingly gay Santa. That's still
my favorite part because that's what I said, I think
you did. My mom called me and she's like, I
can't believe you were talking about Tony like that on
the show. And she was like it was so funny.
You're like, oh my god, Mom, does he not know
he's gay? Well no, she was just like, it was
just really funny to hear you like talking about that
all of these years removed. It was forty years ago,

(01:05:49):
you know, thirty five years ago. And she was, uh,
she goes, do you remember going to his house when
you were little and I said, I vaguely like I
know it was and I said, press memories. No, nothing
bad happened, obviously, but there was a picture. There's a
picture of him in drag and I went over and
I said, who's that and he goes. My mother was like,

(01:06:10):
oh that's uh, that's that time and he goes, that's
memee And that was his character when he was in drag.
He said it was his meme because it looked like him,
but that was what that's meme. And I just assumed
it was his grandmother or whatever.

Speaker 6 (01:06:24):
Meme.

Speaker 4 (01:06:24):
That's meme. That's what my daughter calls my mother in law.
That's meme. Yeah, because she has they're not both grandma.
He's my wife's mom, is meme. Yeah, Memee was my
my wife's grandmother too. She was she's one that went
to one hundred and four. Wow, that's memee. But yeah,
he did. He had that ho ho ho.

Speaker 6 (01:06:44):
Like a gay.

Speaker 4 (01:06:46):
Yeah. Very and he kind of looked like him too.
If I could find a picture of meal Seed, he
very much resembled him. Okay, people asking me how they
can get on board with that Metallica trade scholarship, right, Uh, yeah,
I am sure. You could google it and fill it
and listen. It makes sense, right. What was the earliest
Metallica song we ever heard of? When Dave Mustaine was
still in the band The Mechanics remember that? Yep, there's

(01:07:10):
a reason they had albums called Load and Reload?

Speaker 6 (01:07:14):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:07:14):
Is that why Master of Plumbers Rob, Yes, they had
a song on their first album called fix the Lights.
Uh close, hit the light hit them?

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Sorry?

Speaker 13 (01:07:26):
Sorry?

Speaker 4 (01:07:26):
Hit the lights once they're fixed though, right? Yeah? And
then my favorite Metallica song then, of course Metallica is
owed to contractors I disappear.

Speaker 2 (01:07:40):
Which is your favorite Metallica song?

Speaker 4 (01:07:42):
Hit the Lights? Really? Yeah, it's a great song by
far and away my favorite. Okay, hit the Lights Yeah, nothing,
nothing harder than that song. That's just I love that song.
I do like to fade in. Why I use this?
When we did the Eclipse thing?

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
Oh right, we did the soundtrack for me.

Speaker 4 (01:08:05):
Right once it was over. This was the first song
to play Solar Eclipse. Hey Tripper Scott, Oh hi, it's
going on?

Speaker 11 (01:08:15):
Man?

Speaker 6 (01:08:15):
Are you?

Speaker 13 (01:08:16):
I'm a grumpy machinist. I guess that's We're all getting
grumpy pre games, you know, Hit the lights as if
you can hear it kind of buried. But one of
the hardest, like bass intro. That's when the you know,
before we have all the crazy talented bass players that
we got now back in the early eighties. That was like,
oh my god, I can't believe we can play that fast.

(01:08:37):
But it's kind of hard to hear. But you know
that's but I believe I remember. Yeah, uh quick story
that might give you a chuckle if you want to hear.

Speaker 11 (01:08:49):
It's had a doctor appointment.

Speaker 13 (01:08:51):
I got out of it from my foot. Probably going
to be able to go back to.

Speaker 11 (01:08:54):
Work here in a couple of days, so that'll be good.

Speaker 4 (01:08:56):
Yep, fantastic.

Speaker 11 (01:08:58):
I won't have to file for bankruptcy. Good.

Speaker 13 (01:09:01):
Yeah, good to hear many so so I got.

Speaker 11 (01:09:06):
The rest out of the doctor appointment. There's a restaurant
right there.

Speaker 6 (01:09:10):
Oh, I love.

Speaker 13 (01:09:11):
I never get to eat the restaurants, you know, working
nights anymore. So I thought, there's an Indian restaurant here.
It's newer. I want to eat in there and then
have my dinner lunch rather. And it's a there's a
like a dance mix over the over the radio. It's
all Indian dance mix.

Speaker 11 (01:09:27):
And I heard I heard a familiar voice.

Speaker 21 (01:09:29):
It was.

Speaker 13 (01:09:31):
They turn up the joint in the mix DJ d
y K. I'm like, oh my god, day doing the
sounders for the Indian.

Speaker 4 (01:09:41):
DJ Okay may listen, man, a gig is a gig
good for him?

Speaker 11 (01:09:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (01:09:46):
I thought was that was a wild I figured I'd
just come, you know, tell you that and you get
a laugh or not.

Speaker 11 (01:09:51):
Maybe it's not that funny.

Speaker 4 (01:09:52):
I love Indian food it so long. They opened up
a new place. Uh, there's a new place opening up
down here where Uh the Saint Clair Really Yeah, Oh,
I got to get there. I have been craving Indian
food that Rover told me about one place in Fair
Lawn and I haven't been. It's in a hotel or something.
That's where I live. It's close enough to that, but
I have not gone since I've lived here. It's been

(01:10:13):
three years. My favorite one of my favorite cuisines. A
lot of good Indian food around here. Okay, listen, thank you, Scott.

Speaker 13 (01:10:19):
All right here.

Speaker 4 (01:10:21):
Tearing up the joys is Allen come tearing up here,
Colon and the.

Speaker 6 (01:10:27):
Yeah, the Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 19 (01:10:30):
On one hundred point seven.

Speaker 15 (01:10:34):
Allen, you have been described by your enemies as evil insane, manipulative?

Speaker 4 (01:10:42):
Who are you called?

Speaker 21 (01:10:43):
The Alan Cox Show two one six seven eight one
double O seven or one.

Speaker 9 (01:10:48):
Three four eight one double oh seven.

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
Send me a text.

Speaker 4 (01:11:03):
Watch the show on our YouTube channel if you want,
and listen on the iHeartRadio app and send us messages
there as well. Cavaliers lose last night to the Portland
trail Blazers. Ten was the final bit of a choker.
Now they are off tonight they will take the floor again.

(01:11:23):
They are here at the Rocket Arena through the week.
They'll play the San Antonio Spurs Tomorrow night at seven
point thirty pregame thirty minutes prior, and then Saturday night
they will play the Golden State Warriors, who are kind
of middle of the pack right now too. So full
week of Cavaliers' home court action of the bustle Tomorrow night,

(01:11:46):
seven thirty. I I'MMS and on the aforementioned I Heard
Radio app. Somebody left a message on the app about
how much they love jazz?

Speaker 13 (01:11:56):
Did she?

Speaker 4 (01:11:57):
What was their exact? Unabashed cool weirdness is how they
described you. I'm not normal. It could be it could
be a lot worse. That ain't bad, Alan, I don't
think any human would say guaranteed human. And there's the rub.

(01:12:17):
There lies the problem. That's just what we want you
to think, is that we're human. Now, of course they
mean that in the physiological sense. In the existential sense, boy,
those are two very different things. Are we human or
are we dancer? Thank you, Brandon Flowers. We are, of course,

(01:12:41):
but really in the broadest sense, not in any kind
of interpersonal sense, really, but thank you. Nonetheless. I got
a letter from Rob no relation Alan traveling to South
Carolina earlier in the week, and I listened to the

(01:13:02):
show on the iHeartRadio app and you talk about how
a lot of the listeners, well, they tell me and
then I tell you, guys that they get earworm bits
from the show, whether it's songs or dumb things that
we say. I'm starting a presentation this afternoon, and I'm
going to have to make a concerted effort to suppress
channeling Hey everybody in that particular voice. I say, why

(01:13:28):
suppress that? It's just two words?

Speaker 6 (01:13:32):
Right.

Speaker 4 (01:13:33):
If you go in there and you open your presentation
with hey, ever ybody, but then you proceed to speak normally.
Some people probably more prone there in the audience to
think that maybe they just misheard you. It's only a
couple of syllables. Maybe they didn't think anything of it,
kind of like the doctor Nick from The Simpsons. Have

(01:13:53):
body you know, try that? But thank you listening to
the program. We have bureau chiefs in Canada. By the way,
you can get the iHeartRadio app up there. One of
them sent me the story that there are a lot
of very angry parents in Ontario two weeks from today.
I'll be in Toronto for a few days and I'll

(01:14:15):
tell you what, Rob, if I see one of these signs,
I'm gonna keep my head on a swivel. Parents there
in Branford, Ontario called the cops. Parents called the cops
because somebody was along the route of the city's annual

(01:14:35):
Santa Claus parade holding giant homemade signs that said Santa
is fake Jesusus. Another sign said your parents are Santa.
Another sign said Santa isn't real. You want to talk
about a grinch, Rob, Why would anyone do that? Another
sign said your family buys your presence?

Speaker 26 (01:14:58):
What a cherk.

Speaker 4 (01:15:00):
A parade that gets about thirty thousand people a lot
of people there, and so people were calling the cops.
That's how little people want to talk to their kids,
is they called the cops to try to get them
to intervene.

Speaker 2 (01:15:17):
But in reality, how many of those kids can read?

Speaker 4 (01:15:22):
I mean I was a young reader. My daughter is
a very young reader. And so yeah, I mean I
think you've probably got a point there. Branford is on
the way between Niagara Falls and Toronto. But yeah, parents upset.

Speaker 6 (01:15:42):
Now.

Speaker 4 (01:15:43):
Of course it's not against the law to be a grinch,
but this one was a mean one, and obviously it's
exercising your free speech. I just think that sucks, Like, why, what,
what are you? What is your point in doing? Some
people just gotta be that guy rob, Some people gotta

(01:16:05):
be that God true. So like you, what do you
what are you getting off on there? Well, let me
see what you're doing. Nevertheless, you know, the signs were
posted on private property, but they were along the parade
route and obviously not illegal under Canadian free speech laws,
remember free speech. But they got a lot of complaints

(01:16:29):
there the local contabulary, and so they were like, hey,
don't some parents though, they really do freak out. You know,
one parent called it absolutely disgusting. I mean, there's a
lot of things that are disgusting. I don't know that
i'd call that disgusting. I think it's pretty crappy. I

(01:16:51):
definitely added to the list of things you probably should
not do. All right, don't you think I mean, I
think that it's who is this for?

Speaker 6 (01:16:59):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (01:17:00):
To Jess's point, like, if the kid can't read, it
doesn't matter what it says. If they can read, who
is that for? Let your kid have fun? Let your
kid now. I didn't grow up in a Santa family,
so I never had a dog in that fight. However,
my daughter big Santa fan. Yeah, Big Santa, because he's awesome.

(01:17:23):
And if I ever got an opportunity to introduce her
to the amazingly gay Santa your friend Tony the hairdresser,
I would do that, if you'll pardon the pun. Lickety
split heyp but again not as he worked with Santa.
He was not Santa. We knew that he was the
head elf. He was just well, yay, he was like

(01:17:44):
one of the Santa's guys. He was one of the dudes,
one of the math.

Speaker 6 (01:17:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
Listen, my daughter has an elf that is sometimes on
a shelf too. And when I get up in the morning,
that elf under cover of darkness has taken up another spot,
has moved somewhere else. And I don't purport to know
anything about it. I don't want to know how it works.
I just want to know that my kid enjoys it.

(01:18:10):
We still have the elf in my house. My kids
are grown. You still have it? Yeah, oh all right.
The elf flies around the house, does whatever he does.
I don't know if he flies on you. I was
gonna say portal or I don't know how he does it.
I don't want any part of it, So whatever that
situation is, I'll let that be.

Speaker 2 (01:18:30):
I didn't get an elf. I got Snoop dogg.

Speaker 4 (01:18:33):
You had one. You had Snoop on the stoop. Yeah, yeah, oh,
snoop on the cute. Now what form does that take?
Is it like a little inflatable or what is it?
Or it's like a little elf.

Speaker 2 (01:18:44):
He looks like a little elf and he's wearing green.

Speaker 6 (01:18:46):
Uh huh.

Speaker 4 (01:18:48):
And this was this was gifted to you by the
north pole.

Speaker 2 (01:18:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:18:52):
Is it still somewhere or did it go the way
of the moss ball?

Speaker 2 (01:18:55):
No, it's still in my bathroom. Okay, well, I have
to take him out of the box.

Speaker 4 (01:18:58):
Yep, wait a minute, snoop, snoop on the step there
is where you poop.

Speaker 2 (01:19:05):
Yeah, yeah, he watches me.

Speaker 4 (01:19:07):
Just stick right with the so as long as it's
phonetically pleasing. Snoop on the stoop where you poop? Got it?
Now you can get him in red too. You can
also get his pal Martha Stewart. You can get Martha
on the mantle. Well they're really no, they're really taking

(01:19:29):
their liberties with this, all right. I don't like that
one all. They're going back to the well won too
many times. There snoop on the stoop. Yeah, well we've
got we've got snowflake in our house or snowball or something. Buddy, okay,
just like you've got a buddy, christ I don't you
have a Yeah, used to be on the dashboard of

(01:19:49):
my car back in the day, Dogma right that George
Carlin was playing against type. This is the Bishop. I've
got some poop new since we're on the subject and
you sent me this now. Granted, this is a bit
of clickbait over there at Fox eight, but the headline

(01:20:10):
is winter vomiting disease is on the uptick in the Midwest.
Doctors worn now just a couple of paragraphs in winter
vomiting disease is just the neurovirus. I don't know why
they feel compelled to rebrand it. Yeah see I just
saw that to send it to you. Yeah, here we go. No,
but I realize it's virus, right, But why are they

(01:20:32):
calling it anything else? Like people are hit, especially in
northeast Ohio, by the way, where the neurovirus literally takes
its name from Norwalk, Ohio. We've talked about this before.
Alysser told me this last year, I think, and I
was like, there's no way that's true. It's absolutely true.
It was originally called the Norwalk agent after Norwalk, Ohio,

(01:20:52):
or an outbreak of acute gastro entritis took over Bronzon
Elementary School in nineteen sixty eight, and it was given
the name the Norwalk virus. So Nora virus. Good listen,
some you know, little towns need to be known for something.
French Lick, Indiana has Larry bird, Norwalk, Ohio has diarrhea

(01:21:21):
also called the Spencer flu, the snow Mountain virus, and
winter vomiting disease and the hoot scoots. Yeah, but like,
why is it called all those things. You know, people
know what happens when you get that the flu, right,
you get like you get the scoots and the you know, pukin. Yeah, yeah,

(01:21:41):
you get the poop, the hot waters, hot waters.

Speaker 6 (01:21:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:21:47):
I don't know that I've ever heard it called that.
Oh yeah, but I certainly do. Like little Seth MacFarlane
for you, when you think it's just a poop, but
it comes out like maybe that's Scott Wilander area. When
you're talking to your mom. Man, it drivels from your
bomb diarrhea, diarrhea when.

Speaker 27 (01:22:09):
You thought it was a fox, but later a heavy
shot diarrhea.

Speaker 4 (01:22:13):
Oh so, juvenile rob. This is a serious medical condition,
and of course it's going around. How is this even
a story winter vomiting disease?

Speaker 11 (01:22:24):
You know?

Speaker 4 (01:22:24):
My first thought was before I read the article, because
a lot of times it's the tail wagging the dog,
and I'm like, oh, they came up with some new
pharmaceutical thing, and in order to get people freaked out,
they're calling it something else. But now it's just norovirus.
So I wonder if and I haven't dug in enough
to know this was only brought to my attention last
year by a local, if Norwalk, Ohio locally or regionally

(01:22:49):
pay any homage to this, right, it's not something that
you think you'd want to call attention to, but it is.
It is their namesake. And you wonder if this time
of year, if there are any kind of not parades,
but you know, any kind of recognition of the norovirus

(01:23:09):
being named after Norwalk, Ohio. I don't know, maybe some.
I'm sure we have plenty of Norwalkians listen to the show, Alan,
do you actually get these texts?

Speaker 19 (01:23:26):
No?

Speaker 21 (01:23:28):
Alan?

Speaker 4 (01:23:29):
I finally looked up Jess's picture and god damn, she
is moving my clit more than Rob's voice. One of
her female listeners there, that's well, I'll assume that, yes,
I will assume that it is a female listener. Congratulations, congratulations, indeed,

(01:23:55):
gotta have it moist gross? Oh come god.

Speaker 2 (01:24:00):
Gee thanks, I'm blushing?

Speaker 4 (01:24:02):
Uh, Alan, what the hell is a mossball? Apparently? I
was one of me and this text are were the
only people who didn't know what that was. I mentioned
to somebody else. They were like, oh yeah, they're like,
you know, they're having their moment or something.

Speaker 11 (01:24:15):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:24:17):
No, Jess is she lost custody of a mossball or something.
It's something that's submerged in like an aquarium or water.

Speaker 6 (01:24:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:24:23):
Yeah, they're mass amigos.

Speaker 4 (01:24:24):
There you go. Yours had a cowboy hat. Yep, yeah,
mass amigos. It's like the name of the good tequilas,
is it not.

Speaker 6 (01:24:32):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 (01:24:34):
Oh my god, I can adopt a new one.

Speaker 4 (01:24:37):
I mean, you're a grown ass woman. You can do
what you want.

Speaker 2 (01:24:39):
I'll save up my pennies.

Speaker 6 (01:24:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:24:42):
How much is a mossball? Mine was fifty dollars?

Speaker 6 (01:24:46):
Jesus wow.

Speaker 4 (01:24:47):
I can just scrape some off my house, give it
to you if it helps.

Speaker 2 (01:24:50):
Keep put it in water?

Speaker 4 (01:24:51):
Sure, the little cowboy hat on it? Yeah, why not?
Perfect done. I'll save you forty nine ninety five.

Speaker 2 (01:24:58):
The hat cost ten dollars.

Speaker 4 (01:25:00):
And you're not getting a hair. The hat was ten. Yeah,
the moss ball is like six. Oh, the hat's ten.
All the accoutramal that's where they make their money.

Speaker 11 (01:25:08):
Rum.

Speaker 2 (01:25:10):
I seen a pickle jar, some rocks from outside.

Speaker 6 (01:25:14):
We do all that we get.

Speaker 4 (01:25:15):
We got di I y the whole thing.

Speaker 14 (01:25:16):
Yeah, and then moss off the side of Rob's house yep, okay,
and then I'll buy.

Speaker 4 (01:25:21):
The cowboy hat. So that's an upgrade you can pay for.

Speaker 6 (01:25:27):
I like that.

Speaker 4 (01:25:28):
Yeah, So Winter vomiting disease uh is is out there.
Don't call it w v D. Somebody will probably look
at your sideways if you call it that. I'll be
out today. It's a matter w v D. Excuse me,
it's it's a Western venereal disease. I don't know that
you've ever heard of hot snakes.

Speaker 13 (01:25:48):
Guys, that's when the diary comes out like a hot snake.

Speaker 4 (01:25:55):
I ged a hot snakes some bubble gut, oh hot snakes. Yeah, right, Alan,
You lib tards are the reason that they're renaming it
so they can generate panic. Who's the lib tard you?
I guess I am. I guess we both thought that

(01:26:16):
wasn't fed to you. I sent it to you calling
us lib tards. Now, as I understand it, Rob, that
is a portmanteau of liberal and retard, Yes, which somehow
has Yeah, did that word work it's way back in Huh, Well,
it sure did, And I gotta tell you it's gotta
make the MAGA types upset because lib tard has been

(01:26:37):
a huge crutch for them. But now that you can
apparently use the R word again in full Well, he's
going to have to spread it out. Trump called does it?
Tim Walls, right, I don't know. He called in a
in a truth post, he called them a retard. Oh yeah,
that tracks America, America, America.

Speaker 6 (01:27:02):
What.

Speaker 4 (01:27:03):
Yeah, I was very surprised at that. He doubles down. Yeah,
so somebody mentioned it to him and he doubled down.
He's seriously retarded, is the quote? Well Trump is a
scumbag and a trader and a criminal. So that doesn't
surprise me at all. I'm surprised you missed that one. Well,
I'm not untruth social boy.

Speaker 11 (01:27:22):
It was.

Speaker 4 (01:27:23):
It blew up because of that, the fact that he
did it. Everybody was, like Jesus Christ, very surprised.

Speaker 11 (01:27:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:27:28):
I don't know why anyone would be surprised at anything
even approached. I was surprised. I mean, listen, there is
no bottom. I was surprised. I would not be surprised
at all. That surprises me zero percent. Yeah, I was
the guy says a lot of stuff, But calling a
sitting governor.

Speaker 2 (01:27:49):
A retard, why is that a bright red line?

Speaker 4 (01:27:51):
I don't know. That's just a word that people don't
use often.

Speaker 2 (01:27:54):
Yeah, but they do.

Speaker 4 (01:27:54):
Now that's all of a sudden, I mean fine, okay,
so now people are using that word again. Okay, I
mean I wasn't using it before, so it doesn't change
my life at all. Yeah, people are I guess they won.
That's they're super happy now that they can use the
R word again. Okay, cool something the other Trust me,
the other words are not going to be far behind.

(01:28:18):
So also in poop news, by the way, your poop schedule, Rob,
We've talked about this. It says a lot about your
overall health.

Speaker 11 (01:28:26):
Now.

Speaker 4 (01:28:26):
The trouble with these studies when they do them is
I'm always looking for something like very granular and kind
of equivocal, right, I'm looking for something where they go,
well it could be this, could be this, But the
range is always too broad. You know, I go thrice daily.
It's amazing, and so you know if I travel, it

(01:28:47):
can get thrown off. When I went home for Thanksgiving,
I was down to two a day, you know, But
that's but they're like, you know you can go to
many times. They're like, what do they call it? High?

Speaker 2 (01:28:59):
Normal life?

Speaker 4 (01:28:59):
Think is what they called it. There's a range if
you go three times a day, they refer to that
as high normal. Now, I was focused on the high there.
I don't really take any comfort in the normal part.
High normal three plus is hilarious. Constipation obviously, they've got

(01:29:21):
a range for your BMF rob that's your bowel movement frequency.
Constipation is people who go twice a week. Really, that
ain't good. Low normal is three to six times a week.
High normal that's me. That's one to three times a day.

(01:29:41):
And then anything higher than four times a day they
just referred to as diarrhea. So that's where they dispense
with the medical terminology. They go, Yeah, four or five
times a day, that's called you're just diarrhea. Yeah, so
if you go once a day, you're considered high normal.
High normal. Wow, way down? Since I I lost weight

(01:30:02):
and stuff. I think that's because I just don't eat
as much, you know what I mean. So my body's
just slow on everything down. Now, let me ask you
this because Jess, we were talking about this yesterday. Jess
is a packa day smoker. My question is because I
don't know, but my understanding is that smoking is an
appetite suppressant. Correct, yes, Okay, does that affect? Does smoking

(01:30:25):
affect your BMF in any in any measurable way, I'd
have to think, Man, I I used to smoke so
much that it just didn't matter, you know what I mean?
Like I would just take I was always didn't matter.
I would say, I'm always a once a day guy,
or I always was a once a day guy. So, Jess,
I'm bringing you into this. How many times a day
it depends?

Speaker 9 (01:30:46):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:30:46):
I can't poop in public? I'm scared.

Speaker 4 (01:30:52):
Well, I watched Tell Why Nobody knows. Nobody knows it's you.
It doesn't matter.

Speaker 14 (01:30:57):
I never understand this off is and I like to
take my time. And then the one time Doctor Oz
came on and he said you'll rip your butthole if
you force it, and stuck.

Speaker 4 (01:31:06):
In my head you needed doctor Oz to tell you
that you were gonna give yourself an the pisiotomy if
you push too hard.

Speaker 2 (01:31:13):
Be serious.

Speaker 4 (01:31:15):
You were already in a place where you would give
you a stitch.

Speaker 1 (01:31:18):
Yeah, Leslie, Grant Marston's on the phone for the National
Park Service.

Speaker 2 (01:31:22):
I cannot meet with him right now. We are in
crisis mode.

Speaker 17 (01:31:24):
Okay, Larry, just tell him I need to reschedule because
I'm trying to fix my beehole disaster.

Speaker 2 (01:31:29):
Wait no, wait, no, Larry, don't tell him that. Don't
mention my Beehold.

Speaker 4 (01:31:33):
Wait, so doctor Oz came on just coincidentally as you
were in the midst of some gastro intestinal distress, and
he said, hey, if you push too hard, you're gonna tear. No.

Speaker 14 (01:31:42):
It was a long wait at the dentist office. Yeah,
back in the day, and doctor Oz would always be
on the TV. And I just remember that showing up
and then them talking about you rip your buttthole if
you force yep, and I'm like, well, I got to
take an hour out of my day now.

Speaker 6 (01:31:57):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (01:31:58):
So you just you just sit there and wait. Huh.

Speaker 14 (01:32:00):
I just like to wait on it and just hang out.
I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:32:04):
But that's not good.

Speaker 2 (01:32:05):
Yeah she has a five month old though. True, Well
I did this before I had a kid.

Speaker 4 (01:32:08):
Oh well that's not good though. No, man, I want
to get away from it soon as just to sit
there for a long time. Man, it's not good.

Speaker 14 (01:32:15):
Well, sometimes it's like twenty minutes, sometimes it's five. It
just depends on how I'm feeling.

Speaker 4 (01:32:19):
I hooked my pants. I ate too much corn m
all right. But again from my initial question here, the
smoking doesn't have anything.

Speaker 6 (01:32:29):
To do with it.

Speaker 2 (01:32:31):
Not in my opinion, Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:32:33):
I mean you know, I wouldn't know. The cigarettes and
coffee definitely speed up the process, Like if I wanted
to if I was still smoking, I guarantee you nothing
would get a morning started like a cup of coffee
and a cigarette. I would be crapping within ten minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:32:45):
What Rob, I think you're right.

Speaker 4 (01:32:47):
Yeah, that's usually what that's get you going in the morning.
I was always a morning crapper until I stopped smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 2 (01:32:53):
I guess I gotta smoke more.

Speaker 4 (01:32:54):
Yeah, that's what she's got to get herself to two
packs a day.

Speaker 2 (01:33:00):
Can she do it?

Speaker 6 (01:33:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 19 (01:33:02):
The cock Show on one hundred seven.

Speaker 13 (01:33:09):
Of course he stays calm when someone steals his stuff from.

Speaker 4 (01:33:13):
The company fridge.

Speaker 6 (01:33:15):
He needs that energy for.

Speaker 4 (01:33:17):
When he poops in their gas tank.

Speaker 9 (01:33:21):
Alan Cox on one hundred point seven w MMS.

Speaker 27 (01:33:26):
Okay, all right, okay, all right, okay, okay, all right.

Speaker 26 (01:33:39):
On a freak riding around on wheelchairs motorized by electric
motors made my goblins in the factory of.

Speaker 4 (01:33:47):
My drywall and other products that they can eat back
at home on the sofa.

Speaker 26 (01:33:52):
That would see me about a man named Chandler Ming
who guided a free cot up an accident a time
drinking flavored waters.

Speaker 4 (01:34:09):
Is it Matthew Perry's family, like suing the doctor or something.
There's like some yeah lawsuit litigation involving the death of
Matthew Perry. All very said. The Calves lose last night.
They're really wobbly these days. They came off a three

(01:34:30):
game skid. Then they beat the Pacers, which everybody expected
them to do, but lost to the Trailblazers last night,
which I don't know if people expected that from them anyway,
won twenty two to one ten last night. Both teams
relatively hobbled, but the Calves still should have won. You
mentioned the Matthew Perry thing. You saw the news in
the last day or so, right, Well, I kind of
in my periphery noticed those headlines. But yeah, the doctor

(01:34:53):
got thirty months he's going to jail for already ago. Okay, Yeah,
it's a huge deal. Yeah, that's that's like a legit sentence,
Like people need to start thinking twice about what you're
going to do as a medical position. Yeah, and he'll
be out in four but you know what I mean,
maybe the doctor who gave Matthew Perry ketamine is sentenced
to thirty months. But either way, man, four months to

(01:35:14):
a guy who has been doctor to the stars is
like a lifetime.

Speaker 6 (01:35:19):
That's a big deal.

Speaker 4 (01:35:20):
But they're they're not going to put him in bang
you in the air. They do salva or placiencia. Now
that sounds like a guy who had his name on
like a you know, a strip mall door or something.
Doctor Nick supplied doctors supplied the kedemine to Matthew Perry
in the weeks before his overdose in twenty twenty three.
Was sentenced yesterday thirty months in federal prison. Hmm, okay,

(01:35:47):
four counts of ketamine distribution, So what did What was
he charged with that's illegal if you're a physician, is
ketamine distribution? I think so? And I like, I'm sure
that they probably I thought kennemine was being like widely used.
Now I don't in a controlled environment, and I would

(01:36:08):
imagine that if you're a physician, you can at least
legally make a huge case for it being a controlled Yeah,
I don't. I don't think that. Well, especially with Matthew
Perry's past, you wouldn't hand him high high amounts of kettymine. Yeah,
I guess so, I mean, and I think I think
he was charged with something with his death. It was uh,

(01:36:30):
I mean he failed. I failed Matthew Perry. I failed him.
I'm sorry. Was his quote. I mean, it's where's the
because that Conrad Murray went to prison for a minute, right,
the guy that gave Michael Jackson the Yeah. Yeah, everything's
behind paywalls. You can't read a goddamn article. You got
to use twelve foot ladder archive. Yeah. Conrad Murray was

(01:36:53):
convicted of involuntary manslaughter. He served just under two years
of his four year sentence. He released a memoir called
this is It with an exclamation point that's an uncharacteristically
jaunty in twenty sixteen. Okay, so he does fifty percent
of his sentence. This guy gets thirty months, which is

(01:37:15):
just shy of three years. He'll probably be out in twelve.
Four counts of ketamine distribution is what he was charged with,
So nothing with his actual death. It was just distribution.
So I guess you cannot distribute ketamine. He had attained
fifty five thousand dollars during his brief relationship with Matthew Perry,

(01:37:35):
the prosecutor, said if the case involved any other controlled substance,
they'd be looking at a lot more time. Well, and
then they also had text messages from this guy discussing
his request for ketamine, saying, I wonder how much this
moron will pay? Oh, I see okay, So he was
being willfully negligent. Yes, I see okay, his mother, there's
my boy. I know how addicted he was. He survived

(01:37:58):
it all to be called a moron. There's nothing Oh
that sucks. Yeah, so obviously a dope on top of it.

Speaker 6 (01:38:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:38:06):
I had just kind of seen the headline and noticed
that there was something going on there, but I hadn't
really dug into it because for a while, like in
the immediate aftermath of his death, they were looking to
blame anybody. Oh yeah, they were like, we're going to
get this guy and this guy, and I guess I
didn't pay attention to how that had shaken out.

Speaker 2 (01:38:23):
Hey, Dick, Hey, Hey, what's going on?

Speaker 4 (01:38:27):
How are you?

Speaker 14 (01:38:28):
Hey?

Speaker 28 (01:38:29):
Well, I'm doing good. I'm doing pretty good.

Speaker 4 (01:38:31):
How was your Thanksgiving?

Speaker 13 (01:38:32):
Dick?

Speaker 28 (01:38:34):
Good? It was great.

Speaker 4 (01:38:35):
Did they put out a big spread there at the convalescent.

Speaker 28 (01:38:38):
Home down here. I went to where my girlfriends staying
over Dope Creek. They had uh oh, there was a
lot of people, the guess the members and their gas.
They had Kurky and breast hash Boom, Castleball, sweet potato pie,
green beans. Oh, vast potato isn't gravely. They had three

(01:38:59):
different pies I tried. I tried the peak Ham, but
I preferred the the pumpkin pie. I like the pumpkin
pie better, but I like the stuff. Dressing was good.

Speaker 4 (01:39:10):
I'll tell you what did you say, Dick? Did you
say your girlfriend?

Speaker 28 (01:39:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:39:17):
Boy, with respect.

Speaker 4 (01:39:18):
I thought that we had had a conversation where you
talked about your girlfriend had passed away.

Speaker 28 (01:39:23):
No, she didn't know. She's been and she had to
go to Oak Creek ubs.

Speaker 7 (01:39:28):
We have last Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:39:30):
So you went to visit her where she is?

Speaker 21 (01:39:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 28 (01:39:33):
I did when I could, you know?

Speaker 6 (01:39:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 28 (01:39:36):
And then then a caseworker payment in January it was
February or solf. Uh. She wanted me to go to
Assist of Living because she thought that I could get money.
I got pretty good on the house, put that in
the bank. But it's not bad here the system living,
it's it's nice. You're close to Sinnati.

Speaker 13 (01:39:56):
You're close to.

Speaker 28 (01:39:57):
The freeways and stuff. It's around the the Dayton Marsh
shopping area. But uh yeah, I get okay if I
take I take the bus, the.

Speaker 2 (01:40:09):
Rapid transit close to the highways.

Speaker 4 (01:40:11):
Did they ever find any of the residents like hanging
out there on the highways or the off ramps or
anything they got to go get them?

Speaker 11 (01:40:16):
Or is.

Speaker 28 (01:40:18):
How'd you guess that?

Speaker 4 (01:40:20):
I live and breathe, my friend, I live and breathe.

Speaker 28 (01:40:23):
Yeah. Yeah, right there at seventy five that was there
was a real mass looked like somebody ether were three
or four Miami Township cops. Yeah, it gets bad over
by that mall. I'll tell you.

Speaker 4 (01:40:37):
Okay, but so thanks so big. Big picture of Thanksgiving
was good.

Speaker 28 (01:40:41):
Yeah yeah, Hey, Cavaliers should have won that game, you know.

Speaker 4 (01:40:46):
Kevalier should have won a lot of games. Dick things A,
you're looking too great over there. That is the kind
of pivot I would have liked to have seen on
the hardwood last night.

Speaker 6 (01:40:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 28 (01:40:54):
Yeah, Hey, I think something's gonna happen Sunday.

Speaker 4 (01:40:57):
Guys, I think oh song was gonna have Oh yeah,
something's gonna happen win Sunday yep, let's hope.

Speaker 11 (01:41:05):
So.

Speaker 4 (01:41:06):
Well, they are playing a terrible team, so let's hope
that that is correct. A one win football team, they
should be able to. Uh, I mean it's going to
be competitive. And did you see Deshaun Watson's back out
there practicing?

Speaker 28 (01:41:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 21 (01:41:20):
I did.

Speaker 6 (01:41:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:41:21):
So so now we've got another option, another option at quarterback.
Deshaun Watson could come back. Yeah, well, you.

Speaker 28 (01:41:30):
Got fifteen five games left. Maybe maybe they win a couple.

Speaker 4 (01:41:34):
Well, this guy, he likes to come back. This is
a guy who has proven himself to be a repeat customer.

Speaker 28 (01:41:39):
Dick Miles Kart. I think it's the best in the league.
Don't you For sack, he's pretty good.

Speaker 4 (01:41:45):
Yeah, I sure do. That guy's sack is second to none. Yeah,
he's got more than everybody. I can imagine. Thank you.
Look a boom boom down, somebody, look boom boomed down.

(01:42:05):
He's talking about the Thanksgiving spread.

Speaker 6 (01:42:07):
Boy.

Speaker 4 (01:42:07):
I thought for sure we had discussed his girlfriend passing.
I thought she was like quite infirmed, I guess, and
they were living together or something, and so I guess
she went to one place and he went to the
other and cash run in that house, which is really
really good news. But you know, when I went home,
and I do this all the time, I asked my mom, Hey,
can I bring anything? And she always says no, but

(01:42:30):
the two pies that by the way I told you
the story, I had to turn around. I was a
half an hour out. I turned around, Souse, we forgot
the pies. Well, we got a couple of pies from
Grayhouse out there in Westlake. We got a caramel apple pie.
We got a chocolate peacan pie. Now, through no fault
of their own, people and my whole family was there.
Nobody was drawn to the chocolate peacan pie. Everybody went

(01:42:55):
in my mom. By the way, my mom made pumpkin pies.
I'm like, Mom, how many people did you make too
much stuff? Because no one eat? I mean everybody was there,
but I'm like, we're not all going to eat these,
especially when I brought these amazing Greyhouse pies. So my mom.

(01:43:16):
Maybe I might have moved the needle a bit. Because
my mom was texting me earlier. She wanted to send
something to my son and needed his address, and she's like,
I'm still thinking about that caramel apple pie. I go, yeah,
this is what I'm talking about. I'm happy to bring
things to dinner. I'm only guaranteed a Thanksgiving visit. I
try to get home in the summer, but I can't

(01:43:37):
always do that. But I told my mom I will
always come home for Thanksgiving. So if you want me
to bring things to try to, you know, alleviate all
the work she has to do cooking. I know she
likes to do it, but I'm like, yeah, you don't
have to make six pumpkin pies, mom, because I put
my pie, you know, after dinner, I put my pies out,

(01:43:58):
and I go, where are the pumpkin She goes, They're
in the garage. I go out there and they're all
laid out. I go, Mom, why did you make somebody
goddamn pies? I love to do it, honey, I love
to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:44:11):
You know, Larry likes it. And they're not going to
meet him.

Speaker 4 (01:44:14):
But is that his name? Yeah, Larry. There was a
one year anniversary of my mom telling me that she
was dating and at that time dating multiple guys. So
you got a name too, huh, Larry? Had you had
the name before?

Speaker 11 (01:44:26):
You know?

Speaker 4 (01:44:26):
He doesn't? I? Yeah, I had the name and apparently
for whatever reason, like my brother in law is the
only guy talks to I don't know. Interesting, Yeah, I
don't know. I haven't met the guy again. His CV
is very impressive. He's like an engineer and an attorney.
I don't know. And so you know, he has engineered
his way into my mother's bloomers apparently. Well, I'm I'm

(01:44:49):
being facetious here. I don't know, nor do I want
to know, nor is it any of my business? Sure,
what's going on there? It is none of my business.
That's what I told my mom from the jump. As
long as you are being safe and you are happy,
that's all I care about. But I think early on,
in the aftermath a couple of years on from my
dad passing away, you know, they'd been together for fifty

(01:45:12):
plus years, it's only human and natural that she would
get a little love drunk. So I wanted her to
be careful. I'm like, these dudes, nobody's gonna love bomb
you harder than a widow or or a divorced guy
or whatever. So I'm like, just be careful. And she

(01:45:32):
has been my mom's a dummy, but I felt protective
of her. You should, you know, I'm like, just be
careful to your Mom. Yeah, well, I'm about ninety nine
point nine percent sure that Dick said hash bone castle.
I didn't know what that was. That's what he brought.
I don't Maybe he meant hash brown. I don't know
a hash bone castle. Maybe it's a Dayton delicacy that

(01:45:55):
we're not hip too. Oh you know what here mother
on Mags had of a hashbone casserole. I'm just happy
to hear him checking in. Man, we thought he was dead.
This is the thing, and we're not going to know
when he goes. I feel like he's a big enough
deal that we.

Speaker 6 (01:46:12):
Might I would.

Speaker 4 (01:46:14):
Well, that's what I'm counting on, is he calls so
many goddamn radio stations that it's going to be in
the wind. But we had a dead dick, false alarm, Yeah,
I think a real one. We would know the real one,
we would probably, I think that's right. Yeah, last thing
we want around here is a dead dick. Right, and
so uh we like our Dick's alive and well dead

(01:46:35):
eye Dick. Remember them Cotton eyed Joe, she don't eat meat,
she shall lock the ball. Oh that's right now, that
one hit New age girl is one hit. Wonder who
did Cotton eye, Joe red next, rednecks, and ex not
even close.

Speaker 13 (01:46:49):
Now.

Speaker 4 (01:46:49):
They were from Sweden, I think, so that was their
take on American rural culture. Little did they know they
were one hundred percent correct. So Alan, my mother in
law also had a boyfriend named Larry. We called him
lair Bear. I don't need that yet. Lair Bear might

(01:47:13):
be a good suggestion, though I've never met the guy.
Haven't met the guy, and it sounds very much by
design because I don't think my siblings have met him either.

Speaker 2 (01:47:23):
This guy sneaking at a window at night, like, how
is it? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:47:26):
He went to some charity event with my brother in law.
My brother in law is a cop, and I don't
know if that was I don't know what it was.
This was all being told to me second and third hand, Like,
but not your sister. I don't think my sister said
she's met him. Say that's weird, Like why the brother
in law? Because I I don't know, because it's a
weird entry grow out. I I don't know, don't know.

(01:47:47):
I like it, I don't like it. I think my
brothers are a bit more stand office about the whole thing,
because they're closer to it because they're all there, right.
I dip in and out, you know, I like to
be in the loop, and they don't want to be
around it. They don't. I don't really have a you know,
if it's weird. I mean, when I remember when my
mom first started, genuinely thought I was probably going to
meet the guy at Thanksgiving, I didn't probably by design,

(01:48:08):
I would imagine again, right, like you said, that's what
it sounds like. And by the way, that's fine, yeah, fine,
you know, I get back once a year. I don't
need to Oh here's this guy. Okay, cool, he had
to leave for a few hours while you guys were there. Well,
and it's not like I'm going to be like a
jag off to the guy, right, It's fine. They're nice
to meet you. How you doing. My mom was seventy seven, jesus.
I mean, you know it is odd, though, man, I'm

(01:48:31):
not gonna lie to you. Like when you do have
that meeting, it's like, oh, okay, cool, you're the guy
hanging out with my mom. Yeah, it's fine. I mean
my grandmother, my mom's mom, she got remarried when she
was you know, you know, she was an older woman,
companionship or what. Now. I don't see that happening. I'll
see my mom getting remarried. But even if she was,

(01:48:52):
you know, she might just be in it for the dinners.
The hell do I know? She probably enjoys the companionship.
She enjoys talking to somebody. It's a London bro oil
raw going for the for the high end stay. He's
a woman of refined palette. Sure, And if Larry's picking
up the tab, why not get her to uh yeah,

(01:49:14):
get her some nice spot downtown and I'm to buy
you the finest London broil in all of Chicago, Illinois, Darling.
And again, I don't know anything about the guy, but anyway,
if your mom likes him, he's probably a wonderful person.

Speaker 2 (01:49:31):
Listen, my mom is a peach.

Speaker 4 (01:49:33):
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so you have to assume
anyone that's worthy of taking up her time is probably
also your person.

Speaker 2 (01:49:39):
Oh hone, he's going to take me to Gibson's tomorrow night,
right down tom.

Speaker 4 (01:49:42):
Mom, that's the Viagra triangle. What's going on? What's happening
down there?

Speaker 6 (01:49:47):
The Allen Carr Show on.

Speaker 2 (01:49:50):
One call, the Allan Cox Show.

Speaker 6 (01:49:56):
Is that what you want to do.

Speaker 15 (01:49:57):
Think about it, Alan, divorce, saying broke two one six
seven eight one.

Speaker 21 (01:50:04):
Double oh seven or one four eight one double oh seven.

Speaker 2 (01:50:14):
Three five.

Speaker 4 (01:50:15):
I want to send me a text. Email me at
Alan kochstro dot com. You watch on our YouTube channel
quite the lively chat in there isn't there rough? And
of course I heard Wheredy left. Listen, someone calls you
a cutie good son? Who's that in the chat talking

(01:50:35):
about you? Saying, Alan, you're such a cutie good son.
I am a good son. See, I'm a great son,
I'm a I'm a I'm a pretty good dad, I'm
a middling husband, I'm a great son. Now I have
been accused, I shouldn't say accused. I have been described

(01:50:57):
by x's and their therapists as a mama's boy rob
really Now, I don't in any way think of myself
that way. However, I do if my shrinks will tell
me that I give my mom. I have always given
my mom a lot of latitude that may or may

(01:51:18):
not be deserved based on the vagaries of my childhood.
Which that's a whole lot of therapy speak right there.
But I don't think of myself. I love my mom
always have. There's nothing really wrong with being a mama's boy,
partial to your mother. I mean, I mean, I get it. Yeah,

(01:51:40):
I mean, you know, my dad worked all day long.
Love my dad, miss him every day, but my dad worked.
You know, if you are of a certain age and
you think about how I'm a gen xer, but I
have you know, two generations quite literally of children. You know,
I have two in the early twenties, and I have
a nine year old. And the way that when people
talk about the way people raise their kids now as

(01:52:03):
opposed to how we were raised, you know. Yeah, I
joked to my daughter the other night, because my daughter
will be She'll be in her room or something on
her tablet, doing like duo, lingo or reading something, and
then she'll come down in the TV room. I'll be
watching something, or she'd be like, can we watch something else?
I go. You know, if I had ever walked in
the room while my dad was watching something and said

(01:52:24):
let's watch something else, yeah, I said, My deal is, yeah,
who are you get out of here? Bastard? I don't
care what you yeah, And of course I don't care,
so I'm like, sure, what do you want to watch? Saying,
but yeah, so we my mom was the one who
you know, she was the one that was around.

Speaker 6 (01:52:44):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:52:44):
Where I noticed it too, is like, uh, you know,
back in the day, there was more of the assigned
seating things like in the living room, like Dad had
a chair or spot on the couch whatever. But like
we'll be sitting watching something and I'll get up and
take a leak or whatever, and I come back and
one of them's in my seat, and I'm like, hey,
go ah, you know, I wanted to change a spot,
and you know, it was uncomfortable, and I don't have

(01:53:06):
balls big enough to be like, hey, get your little
ass out of my seat. I'll do it. I'm like,
all right, it would be it would be a bigger
deal to me if that vibe tips into like your
kid being rude. Oh there was no route, there's no rut,
That's what I'm saying. Like it to me, it's not
because I got My parents believed very strongly in corporal punishment, right. Yeah.
Now my younger brothers and my sister not so much.

(01:53:28):
But whatever, I was the oldest, and I was the one.
I guess I was getting in trouble at school. I
was trying to be class clown and all that kind
of stuff. And my parents, my mom in particularly, very
very big on appearances, so she wasn't gonna sit for
that at all. So I got spanked a lot as
a kid. So when I started having children, I was like,

(01:53:49):
I'm never ever doing that to my kids.

Speaker 6 (01:53:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:53:52):
No, same, And my mom would always be like, good luck.
So her thought was, spare the rod, spoil the child, right,
her thought was good luck, wait until they're walking all
over you, because blah blah blah. My kids never walked
all over me.

Speaker 6 (01:54:07):
Same.

Speaker 4 (01:54:08):
I'm like, it's I go, you know a mom, I'm
gonna take my chances, right, I'm gonna do it differently.
I'm gonna take my chances.

Speaker 13 (01:54:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:54:15):
If I ever spanked one of my kids, the same
and if I press the issue, if I was like, hey,
beat it, they would in a second, and they have.
But most of the time if they do it, they'll
give me that look, like the smile like oh this
is where I wanted to be sitting, and I'll just
sit elsewhere. Plenty of places to sit, you know what
I mean. Yeah, my daughter she's like, I go, we
don't tell you no. Very often She describes herself as

(01:54:38):
a reasonable kid. My kid's a piss her. She describes
herself as reasonable, right, And so I go. We don't
tell you no often, but when we do, it's for
a very good reason and we mean it, and there's
like very little pushback or anything like that. You know,
I have to I have to go to her Christmas
program tonight, the Christmas concert, fourth grade Christmas concert. So

(01:55:02):
I'd probably be up there playing a cigar box of
rubber bands are on it. Oh, it's fun. Isn't a
text from Dustin down there in Georgia? Alan, I don't
want to be a total creep, and in the most
unperverted way possible. Jess has a very distinct smile, and

(01:55:24):
there's an actress with a very similar mouth, but I
can't think of her name. A very similar mouth a
Dustin in Georgia is laser focused on Jess's mouth. Well
that makes sense. A thunderdome, huh, that makes sense with
the accentge heard of. Man.

Speaker 2 (01:55:47):
Now I need to know whose mouth I look like?

Speaker 6 (01:55:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:55:49):
Right, mouth? Whose mouth similar?

Speaker 13 (01:55:53):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (01:55:54):
Actor mouth? Yeah? I was watching some of your speed
Rail performances, Jess.

Speaker 2 (01:56:00):
Oh boy, yeah, that was it.

Speaker 4 (01:56:01):
Was randomly googling some stuff when she was fronting Corey
Roddick's band before she took off the Chicago and I
was watching some of those Corey says, we got to
work on you for some shows coming up. Meanwhile, got
to get you back, got to start doing some more
speed reel gigs. I think that's what he wants.

Speaker 2 (01:56:17):
Oh, I see, we did do one.

Speaker 14 (01:56:19):
We did a benefit out in Geneva on the Lake
and that was our reunion after God, I think we
had played together for like three years, five years something
like that. He's ready, He's ready, He's always ready. He
loves speed Rail, he does, and I love him, so
just do whatever.

Speaker 4 (01:56:36):
Makes him happen.

Speaker 2 (01:56:37):
I do too. I love Corey.

Speaker 4 (01:56:40):
Well anyway, Dustin from Georgia. Not being a creep, but
you got a parody mouth?

Speaker 2 (01:56:46):
Hi, my, what put it?

Speaker 4 (01:56:50):
No, he knows what's up.

Speaker 2 (01:56:51):
Of course I need to know. Now it's time. He
needs to do his homework and figure it out.

Speaker 4 (01:56:58):
Oh, he'll let you know. I'm sure guaranteed. Stephen can't
wants to know if my brother in law told Larry
about his thick scrotum. Yeah, my brother in law apparently
has some huge thick scrotum. This isn't a huge he's
telling it. We were trading vasectomy stories and he was
talking about how apparently the doctors told him he had
a very thick scrotum.

Speaker 2 (01:57:19):
Break out the barely know you and now I know
this about you.

Speaker 4 (01:57:25):
I could count on one hand the things I know
about you since you married my sister a year and
a half ago, and now I know that one of
the things you know so good a thick scrotum, right,
So uh yeah, yeah. Somebody said I eat, I eat.

(01:57:48):
Where is it I eat diamonds or in my poop?
We were talking about your your your bowel movement frequency earlier.
You know what that has to do with your your
health and how much is too much. Somebody texted me
that they go like eight times a day, and I'm like,
that's what they called the diarrhea. Yeah at that point,
just like just wear something, right because you're just always pooping.

Speaker 6 (01:58:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:58:13):
No, somebody said that they they were joking they eat diamonds.
So they're Doukie glitters and I'm like, I'm like, that's like,
now that's a good drag name. Doukie glitters. Jukie Glitters
is a good drag name. That's fantastic. Doukeie glitters. Yeah, Hi,

(01:58:34):
I like that. Well anyway, I can't find it, but
it was somewhere in there. Oh no, I got it wrong, Allan.
I sprinkled diamonds on my food so that my Dukie
twinkles even better. Dookie Twinkles is a good drag name.
Jukie Twinkles is even better than Doukie glitters. Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 29 (01:58:50):
Hi, Alan, this is Christine in East Rochester. I'm listening
to the podcast and you said the cleaning lady mentioned
you look like Ozzy Osbourne. I don't see that either,
but I did see your doppelganger at the Gojira concert
in August of twenty twenty three at Jacob's Pavilion. I
almost called out your name, but I realized it wasn't

(01:59:10):
you because you had an appearance and this guy was
wearing socks with sandals.

Speaker 4 (01:59:15):
Hate the show. Oh boy, how about that? That is
a very specific look, man, and that is bizarro world,
Allan Cox, like there is if you were going to
find the exact opposite human, that's him right the day
you left the house in socks and sandals shorts socks
and sandals. It's an impossibility. It would never happen. You

(01:59:36):
would have to think someone has your family held hostage.
If anybody ever saw you like this.

Speaker 2 (01:59:40):
Yeah, but what a flex.

Speaker 4 (01:59:41):
I agree, But I'm saying you would never do it.
Don't tell me how to live. I mean I probably wouldn't,
But now you're going to. I mean, if you see
me at a Gozier show and I'm wearing socks and sandals,
did you can yell out out? It ain't gonna be me.
But if you do it, I think someone's got your

(02:00:04):
your family held host It's like, that's just the antithesis
of you. Well, I was gonna say that that wouldn't
really be my sartorial choice. However, that is a punk
rock move. Boy to bring back socks with sandals, I
do not. My dad used to mow the lawn the socks.

Speaker 27 (02:00:19):
And socks and sand, socks and sand.

Speaker 5 (02:00:24):
Bring your cats socks and sandals.

Speaker 4 (02:00:27):
Socks, sandal shocks of sandals. I wear my socks and
berks in the house. See I don't have burking socks.
I do, and I wear them around the house with socks.
Why because I like to? But why not just wear socks,
you know, because I like to have some uh what
do you call it? Some support on my feet. So
some people some people hate. Some people only want to

(02:00:48):
walk around barefoot. I don't like that, but my tootsies
get cold. Yeah, So I like I walk around my
house in socks. I have slippers, but I like I
like to wear my berks because they're indoor birks and
I'll wear them outside off them. So I wear those,
and then I have a nice pair of ll Bean
slippers I wear. Oh, kind of goes between the two.
My my burks are my first floor shoe. Are these

(02:01:09):
like slide on fuzzy slippers? There is there a back moccasins.
Moccasins huh type in ll Bean moccasin you'll find them. Bitches.
Do you have and I like ll Bean stuff? Do
you have like a smoking jet?

Speaker 24 (02:01:24):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (02:01:24):
I see these are like shearling slippers. That's them. The
first you see the wicked good sheep skin shearling's that's
that's my jam. Those are my indoor slips.

Speaker 2 (02:01:34):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (02:01:35):
I go to those pretty much exclusively right around Christmas.
But these look like outdoor shoes. They're not. I mean
they could be because they have this stuff on the bottom.
I wear it right now. It's it's it's still burks
because they're still around. I'll put those away soon, but
right around Christmas, I'll switch exclusively to the to the
wicked good sheep skin.

Speaker 6 (02:01:54):
Dude.

Speaker 4 (02:01:55):
I remember when I was a kid, the one time
I met my paternal grandmother. We didn't really know my
dad's side of the family. The one time I met
my dad's mother, she was living in New Mexico and
we visited her. I'm sorry she visited us. We didn't
go anywhere. She had come out to Illinois and she

(02:02:15):
brought because she's living in New Mexico and she was
living she was an artist and so completely opposite from
what we knew about my dad.

Speaker 2 (02:02:24):
And then she was.

Speaker 4 (02:02:25):
Living like adjacent to an indigenous community, and so she
had brought back all of this like native stuff, and
so she had My sister wasn't born yet. It was
me and my two brothers, and she brought us all
handmade moccasins, like legit moccasins, nothing comfy about them. But

(02:02:47):
I loved those things. I loved them. And so the
thought rob of getting LLL Bean moccasins. Yeah, place, Oh
so you're saying you wouldn't do this because you've had
the real one. Oh well, you're crazy, because these ones
are incredible. Penny, you stand on. TJ made me laugh

(02:03:09):
in the chat. He wrote out Duky Twinkles, but he
wrote it as Duke e Twinkles, and I feel like twinkles.
That's now I got to use that in some way.
It's gonna be my name. High I'm Duke Ebenezer Twinkles,
Duke Edward, Duke Edward Twinkles. All right, well then maybe

(02:03:31):
I'll bookmark these, get yourself a pair.

Speaker 2 (02:03:35):
Maybe I'll get you gonna get you a pair of moccasins.

Speaker 4 (02:03:38):
I'm not a slipper guy, though, I'm not walking around
the house in slippers. But here's the thing. I wear
socks too because I don't like them to stink, like
I don't want my feet to stink because they look warm.
So your feet, and that's what it is. You take
them off. It a little reprieved from the moccasin, you
know what I mean. But then you got the sandals
on and your toes don't get cold. See It's like,

(02:03:59):
that's why I love the sock with the moccasin socks
with the mocks. You see, it's an important thing.

Speaker 13 (02:04:06):
Alan.

Speaker 4 (02:04:06):
The kids are doing socks and birkenstocks. The athlete's are
doing slides in socks. Now, if you're doing sporting socks
and strap sandals, you should seek the therapist.

Speaker 6 (02:04:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:04:16):
The guys who were the socks and like the tivas, Yeah,
that's a whole other thing. Listen. I think you should
do whatever you want to do. I'm just not like
a slipper guy. Oh never have you gotta get a
good pair of man, get a good pair of slippers,
nothing better.

Speaker 6 (02:04:29):
Yeah, put your feet up.

Speaker 4 (02:04:32):
Hell, little fire going nice? Alan, I'm a barefoot guy.
Even though my tootsy is a cold, I put up
with it because I'm a grown ass man. Well that, yeah,
you're right, that's what makes you a man.

Speaker 5 (02:04:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:04:41):
I was gonna say, I I don't hold toes makes
you a man?

Speaker 4 (02:04:44):
No, the flex is there. I don't like my feet
to be cold, so I can because I'm a grown
ass man, I can put socks on my feet. You
know the difference between us. You have cold feet and
we don't. Yeah, I don't see how that makes you
a man?

Speaker 2 (02:04:59):
Why do I? Why should I?

Speaker 11 (02:05:02):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (02:05:02):
You know what else I don't do. I don't turn
my god damn heat on until February.

Speaker 6 (02:05:06):
A real man, there's.

Speaker 4 (02:05:06):
Forty three degrees in my kitchen. Hey, listen, you want
icycles hanging from your balls? Join those cold feet. I'm
gonna keep wearing my Bomba socks and my beauty little moccasins. Yeah.
I mentioned the dog show. While we were gone for
a Thanksgiving, they had that dog show on them. Don't

(02:05:34):
show little dogs, gusty dogs, Buffy Dunton, quiet dogs.

Speaker 6 (02:05:40):
To show.

Speaker 2 (02:05:41):
And now it's time for Letter of the Day.

Speaker 18 (02:05:43):
This one comes from Miss Blash Richmond of Cleveland, Ohio.

Speaker 4 (02:05:47):
She also included a small oil painting of her pepion,
Lord Pistachio. That Lord Pistachio is cute, but he didn't
win this year. But you know who went viral from
the National Dog Show, John O'Hurley. Remember the name John O'Hurley.
You see this, This is awesome. He was channeling Fred
Willard from Beston Show. He was John O'Hurley. He was

(02:06:11):
the host of Family Feud for a while, but he
was Jay Peterman on Seinfeld. That's what I most closely
associate him with. And his little clip there his a
little joke went viral.

Speaker 12 (02:06:22):
Eighty pounds of hair and two pounds of actual dog player.
As I have said before, if the judge picks through
all of that hair and finds only one eye, he's
got the wrong end of the dogs.

Speaker 4 (02:06:34):
He's Fred Willard in Liston Show. Yeah, he's a New
England guy, John O'Hurley. He's from Maine, all right, something
like that. Yeah, his ties to Rhode Island judging the
hounds in Beston Show because he's got Fred Willard's like
sitting there with the British guy who's trying to be

(02:06:56):
all straight, and Fred Willard's just going off the rails
invest In Show as the kind of color commentator for
the thing Simon teeth eyes is oh am?

Speaker 6 (02:07:10):
I seeing right where she put in her hands now, just.

Speaker 8 (02:07:13):
Checking out the dog's testicular to make sure to make
sure that everything is in tame.

Speaker 4 (02:07:20):
I hate to go out on a date with Judge
Edie Franklin have her judge me. That'd be no fun.
Would you please take your dog down and back for me?

Speaker 16 (02:07:28):
Please?

Speaker 4 (02:07:31):
Now she's having the dogs, why they haven't run away
from them and then back up? What's the point of that.
What are they looking through?

Speaker 8 (02:07:39):
Looking for the gates and movements of that. And it's
very important to see this from all angels. So Edie
will be checking out this in particularly good way to
judge a woman. Have her run away from you and
then run back. All those birds on Cannoby Street.

Speaker 4 (02:07:55):
Oh, the late great Fred Willard love them. Also, a
dog named Ozzie has taken the Guinness World's Record rob
for the longest tongue on a dog. A couple ladies,
A giant dog. I don't know why she wouldn't have
named him. Gene was just thinking, yeah, but the dog's

(02:08:17):
name is Ozzie, and he's a big and this is Ozzie.

Speaker 17 (02:08:21):
And Ozzie is a new record holder for the longest
tongue a living dog. His measurement is nineteen point eight
nine centimeters long.

Speaker 4 (02:08:30):
It just hangs out of the dog's mouth. Wait a minute,
is there a different record for longest tongue on a
dead dog.

Speaker 2 (02:08:36):
A dead dog?

Speaker 4 (02:08:37):
Yeah, he's got the longest tongue for emphasis on a
living dog. Right, Yeah, Okay, the other dog was dead,
but it's longer. That's just gross, you know. Posthumously it's
like hair and teeth, you know, they look like they
keep growing.

Speaker 17 (02:08:50):
Yeah, which is seven point eighty three inches. Ozzie is
a master. He's a French master in bums.

Speaker 4 (02:09:01):
Just a giant yeah, giant dog, poor dog man like that. Anyways,
I got a tongue hanging down to his chest area
almost eight inches long. Like that's gotta be a like malformed,
like something happened to him like that. That can't be
I don no normal. This is in Oklahoma. The previous

(02:09:23):
record holder was a dog in Bloomington, Illinois. I think
that's where Illinois status. Uh that was five and a
half inches, and so this goes way beyond that.

Speaker 6 (02:09:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:09:35):
Uh, but the dog's name is Ozzy, and it's a
giant dog. I would not want. You know, our dog
just passed away. She was a mini Aussie. I just
would not want a giant dog. I was thinking the
George Carlin joke about that. My golden rule is keep
the dog's a hole below eye level. You know, there's
no reason to duck fly in turds. People have like

(02:09:58):
giant dogs. I'm like, yeah, a saddle on that thing.
Or I love big dogs, man, No, prob I love
dogs in general, all sizes are fine. I just like
manageable size dogs. I like a lap dogs and I don't.
I don't need like a tea cup Pekanese or something,
but I don't. I don't need a you know, I
don't need a Great Dane or anything like that. Any who,

(02:10:19):
their congratulations to Ozzie. By the way, the late Ozzy
Osbourne his namesake. He was posthumously awarded an award in
his hometown.

Speaker 11 (02:10:27):
You know.

Speaker 4 (02:10:27):
He would have been seventy seven the other day. Yep,
and the Mayor of Birmingham gave him Why didn't they
do this when he was alive? Every time they go
ooh on the occasion of just why ain't just who's alive?

Speaker 2 (02:10:43):
Don't know what you got, dude, it's gown.

Speaker 6 (02:10:47):
Yeah, the Allen Cox Show on one.

Speaker 4 (02:10:54):
Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 9 (02:10:55):
Sure you could listen to another show, but then how
would you find the fluff we buried in boxes around
the city.

Speaker 4 (02:11:04):
Point sevenmms. Here we do a metal show here on
the Buzzard's Saturday nights. This week and next week will
be our last two shows of the year with me
and the aforementioned Corey Roddick and Patrick Butler Esquire. It's

(02:11:28):
called two hours to midnight, and we really run the
gamut Boy. We play a lot of brand new metal,
we play a lot of throwbacks, play some local stuff
as well. So we always like to let you know
if you have an affinity for a heavy metal and
all of its forms, like to let you know what's
going on locally. And so that is Saturday night, ten o'clock,

(02:11:50):
as the name implies, two hours to midnight on the
Buzzard playing local metal this week from After the Apocalypse
and Integrity, a couple of local bands. But I got
to throw back from Melvin's I'll play for you. Got
some brand new stuff from a band called Cold Communion,
who are great. Throw some Judas Priest in there, throw

(02:12:13):
some venom in there, Oh Rob, It's enough to make
it move right now. That'll be Saturday night at ten o'clock.
Cavs off tonight. They lose to the Portland Trailblazers last night.
They'll take on the San Antonio Spurs tomorrow night. They're
here at home for the week, so tomorrow against the Spurs,

(02:12:37):
Saturday against the Golden State Warriors. Before they hit the
road once more, they'll go to DC play the Wizards.
They'll go play the bulls and then the Bulls will
come here back to back seventeenth and nineteenth of the month.
Our last live show of the year will be Tuesday
the sixteenth, coinciding with my Rob sixteenth anniversary on WMMS.

(02:13:03):
Hold for Alan will Bowel movement frequency beyond two hours
to midnight. I see what you're doing. But no, no, no,
not at all, although in the break everybody was texting
me there slipper recommendations Rob everyone except ll Bean maccas

(02:13:23):
and is wrong. Well, one person said that they knew
a guy who wore socks over his sandals over. That's
somebody trying to get people to pay attention to him,
and he doesn't have anything inherently interesting about him, and
so he's like, well, God.

Speaker 6 (02:13:37):
He needs something.

Speaker 4 (02:13:38):
Look what I can do. You can't go wrong with sinnooks.
Somebody says, aren't those like canvas? Like they aren't they
made out of like yoga mats or something or you know,
I don't like the name. I don't like to wait
it looks well. Somebody, Rachel sent me a link to
she goes my husband as a pair of these. They
were Ola Kais and I had which I like a

(02:13:58):
brand flip flop. Yeah, I have old kai, I have
water shoes. Then I like a lot She said this
is my husband has no looking back. They're great on
the sand and I love them for that because they
don't give They're nice for sand walking. Yet I don't
need them in a slipper. Right, great slip flop though,
And by the way, the link she sent me that
the slippers her husband has one hundred and forty dollars slippers.

(02:14:21):
I don't need premium leather slippers. I'm not going to
be walking around in these. Rob was recommending something for
around the house. I'm okay in my socks. I think
mine or what you looked them out like a hundred bucks.

Speaker 2 (02:14:36):
Eighty nine dollars go, that's fair.

Speaker 4 (02:14:38):
I'm just saying that, and I'm not because I do
walk around in socks. If I even see and I
go through socks. I'm always buying socks because if I
see a pin hole hole in a sock.

Speaker 2 (02:14:52):
I throw the whole pair out. I don't need holes
in my socks.

Speaker 4 (02:14:56):
You're one of those guys. I'm one of those guys
for you. As soon as I see a hole in
any if I see a hole in a pair of
boxers out in zy. How'd they go? That's what I'm
in the garbage. That's where I was bad. I had
a pair. I hung on too, until it was like
a loin cloth.

Speaker 2 (02:15:11):
I think. I think a lot of guys do.

Speaker 4 (02:15:13):
They're like, oh, they're so comfy.

Speaker 2 (02:15:15):
I go, yeah, but there's nothing left.

Speaker 4 (02:15:17):
It looks like it looks like you're wearing a garter.
It looks like you're wearing a belted Maxi pad. There
was nothing left to them. It was a waistband and
a couple of pieces in the front in the back.
I don't even think the two were attached anymore. But
I couldn't ge rid of them because they were like
my lucky underwear when I traveled.

Speaker 6 (02:15:32):
Yeah, I kept them forever. Alan.

Speaker 4 (02:15:37):
Who in the holy hell was on w MMS this
morning around five thirty Tony Captain Tony? Yeah, would have
been I don't I don't know. Is there any context
or just that question? I I don't know, just that
question it was would have been Tony all right. He
must have said something where he had an opinion. God knows,
that's not allowed. You think, Is that what it was?

(02:16:00):
I I guaranteed I had thirty. Where was he at
five thirty? He was coming out he's going into sleep token. Yeah,
or did he talk again after that?

Speaker 6 (02:16:10):
No?

Speaker 4 (02:16:11):
Uh huh so it would have been Yeah, he was
talking into sleep twenty three seconds he talked into sleep token. Okay,
well he is whoever texted me Tony's guaranteed human. I
just saw him this morning. Yeah, I got in about
eight thirty. Saw him in one of the other studios
doing some work. Yeah, because he does that shift and
then he's on with Kennedy too. Yeah, that's right, busy dude.

(02:16:34):
Kennedy was all mad at me. Why told me he
talked about me on their show? Talked about you on
their show?

Speaker 6 (02:16:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:16:40):
In Akron Yeah, why Rob from the alc Cox Show.
Because uh, like that audience knows who we are. Oh,
I guarantee you know we are. But I think, yeah,
I send out my hey, thanks for everything, appreciate you,
happy Thanksgiving thing to everybody I work with. Oh that's
like an send all email around, No, no, no, I text,
just text. I sent you one. You just it's just

(02:17:01):
like a little courtesy, happy and happy Thanksgiving. And I
sent one to Tony. So Tony tells Kennedy he's like, oh,
I got a text, you know, surprised from rob Or.
I didn't say my name. They said the initials said
all Ra Kennedy got all butter sent and sent him one.
Why didn't you send him one? I don't know. I didn't.
I thought I did. I guess I don't. I didn't

(02:17:22):
think I wasn't like malicious that I didn't. But like,
at the end of the day, hey, I work for him.
He could have sent me one. Two am I right?

Speaker 6 (02:17:30):
That is true.

Speaker 4 (02:17:30):
I got to remember to kiss my boss's ass. How
about a little thank you to your employees?

Speaker 2 (02:17:34):
How about a little lip service down?

Speaker 4 (02:17:36):
Yeah, kissing?

Speaker 2 (02:17:37):
How about that?

Speaker 6 (02:17:38):
Yeah? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:17:39):
Now I didn't send anything to anybody, so you got
one up on me. I didn't send a text to
a group of people, to colleagues, Hey have a great Thanksgiving? Well,
I mean I everybody that I work with would be like,
you know, hey, happy Thanksgiving. I think it's great. Hope
you enjoy some downtime with the fan bl blah blair.

(02:18:00):
You replied, yes, I probably replied with a thumbs up emoji.
I think probably. I'm very succinct in my responses. This
used to drive Mary Santora and Erica Laurin crazy and
it will invariably drive maybe I bet it won't drive
Jess crazy. I'm prone to very curt responses in text,

(02:18:21):
and some people take that as something else. They'll send
me some long thing and I'll text back, okay, that's me.

Speaker 11 (02:18:30):
No, you did not.

Speaker 4 (02:18:30):
You actually to know that, Jef. You actually wrote back
you two with devil horns, so that counts. That's you too,
right there you go. See, yeah, that's something, Jess. Are
you a verbose Texter? She on the phone. She might be.
Her headphones are off. Huh, yeah, she is on the phone.
Our Detroit bureau chieves hitting me up. By the way,

(02:18:51):
they finally got that friggin' RoboCop statue set up in Detroit.
They've been working on this for twenty years.

Speaker 11 (02:18:58):
This star.

Speaker 4 (02:19:00):
Love RoboCop. Great movie. They've been working on this from
conception to now for the better part of two decades,
and I think the sculpture itself has been done for
ten years. And it finally went up in an area
of Detroit called Eastern Market. If you're familiar with Detroit.
When I was on the air there, I would do

(02:19:21):
appearances in Eastern market and they finally have the Robocops
statue up and it's there for everybody to enjoy. You know,
there aren't a lot of cities. You could probably count
on one hand the cities that have something attached to
it in popular culture. Right, Philly has the Rocky statue.

(02:19:43):
Ghostbusters were New York centric karate Kid that was like
a California thing. But it's not a long list. And
Detroit is synonymous with RoboCop fictional character, and so they've
had this in place for a long time. They've been
delays and the city complaining. I don't know why they

(02:20:04):
would complain about it.

Speaker 6 (02:20:05):
I'd buy that for a dollar doll right.

Speaker 4 (02:20:12):
I remember RoboCop came out a couple of weeks after
my sixteenth birthday. Came out in July of.

Speaker 6 (02:20:19):
Eighty seven, if memory serves.

Speaker 4 (02:20:22):
And I snuck into the drive in in the trunk,
rob How do you like?

Speaker 5 (02:20:28):
That?

Speaker 4 (02:20:29):
Could chew? Because I couldn't get in legally, So I
went with a couple of friends who were able to
get in legally, and I went in in the trunk. Now,
what I was worried about is that they wouldn't let
me out of the trunk. That would have been the prank,
that would have been the goof, but they were a
couple of friends. Wasn't worried about it. So I saw

(02:20:51):
RoboCop in the drive in when it came out. RoboCop
was a movie, by the way, if you know anything
about it or you remember, I know, they've remade it,
and you can't believe that they would take RoboCop and
remake it and it would be terrible. But they did
and it was. But the original RoboCop had initially gotten
an X rating because for the midute it is director

(02:21:13):
Paul Verhoven was a guy who did he total recall,
he did Starship Troopers, I think, so this guy knew
his way around some graphic violence. And they had initially
given RoboCop an X rating because they were like, there's
too much gore, there's too much you know, violence and everyone.
You know, when they first killed Peter Weller right before

(02:21:34):
they turn him into RoboCop, that's like a long, extended,
nasty sequence. That's not a quick death, no, And so
they were like, because NC seventeen wasn't a thing yet,
that wouldn't show up for like three or four more years,
and they were like we're never going to get this
in theaters if it has an X rating, because that
was it was attached to porn films. But they were like,

(02:21:56):
there's so much in this gonna get an X. I
thought that's all that meant that. I mean, I think
that was their way of getting him to cut the movie,
because then he made a couple of changes here and
there and they gave it a hard R. But the
X was they were like, we need something for movies
that aren't porn but have a lot of stuff to
let people know. Because the R you could get in

(02:22:18):
under seventeen if you had parents or guardian NC seventeen,
you had to be seventeen. There was a movie that
came out called Henry and June about Anias Ninn and
Henry Miller. That was the first NC seventeen movie. I
think it was Uma Thurman, so that would have been
a few years after RoboCop. But yeah, I saw RoboCop
at the drive in Movies Jesus with a couple of

(02:22:40):
guy friends because I was super cool. X rat It
hasn't been a thing since like the nineties. It no,
not for not for like wide release films, but there
were a handful of movies that were like, this is
going to get an X. But again, it was mostly
reserved for porn. So I think that was the way
that the MPAA got directors to cut their movies only
suitable for adults. That's when then NC seventeen replaced it

(02:23:03):
in nineteen ninety nineteen ninety Junior Wow Wow, wow wow,
pretty wild, no idea. Yeah, I always thought X rated
just meant porn. Well, I mean again, it mostly did,
and I think that they knew that, and so they
were like, we're gonna give it an X and distributors
aren't going to want it in their theaters because everybody's

(02:23:23):
gonna think it's porn. So was triple X like a
marketing decision or did that mean there was like penny well,
because didn't there used to be double in triple X That.

Speaker 6 (02:23:31):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (02:23:32):
I'm just wondering, like it's so X rated, it's triple
X rated. Yeah that I don't remember, huh. But you know,
to me, Rob, triple X is uh that's what I
like stamped on my jug of hooch when I'm when
I'm ordering my moonshine.

Speaker 11 (02:23:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:23:50):
From the Appalachian Foothills. I asked them to make sure
that it has three x's, because that's how I know
it's good. I don't need brown lightning cartoon, I need
white lightning.

Speaker 6 (02:24:04):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:24:09):
Do you still play the ceramic jugs? I mean occasionally.
You know, I'm an emmet otter acolyte. Yeah, yeah, exactly, Yeah,
that's me. Eighth grade Talent Show.

Speaker 30 (02:24:28):
Alan Cai mckent listening on the podcast. I don't know
if Aylways brought this to your attention yet, but one
of the ads that is running on rotation on the
podcast is this guy talking about alzheimer drugs or Alzheimer's screaming.

Speaker 10 (02:24:43):
It's very much not funny.

Speaker 4 (02:24:44):
However, the guy.

Speaker 30 (02:24:46):
Has a similar voice to the Semen and the Lattes guy.

Speaker 11 (02:24:52):
I'm not saying it's a dead.

Speaker 13 (02:24:53):
Ringer, but it's close enough to maybe give it a shot.

Speaker 11 (02:24:55):
Okay, love you.

Speaker 4 (02:24:56):
By h Thank you, Caleb. I haven't heard that. I
haven't heard a lot of the advertisements on the app.
So one for Alzheimer's you heard that, No, but I
wonder if he's talking about the same one that we
hear with that dude that's DD Jakes though this week
I'm talking to Denzel is that that's TD Jakes, But

(02:25:16):
I wonder they does have a very similar sound to
what he's talking about.

Speaker 18 (02:25:21):
They were taken specimens of male seman and they were
putting it in the blends of their lattes lats.

Speaker 4 (02:25:32):
That's a David Manning guy. He's that goofball there in
New York who lost his church and then they got
bought up by like an LGBTQ organization or something.

Speaker 18 (02:25:44):
Yeah, everyone that practices sodomy from the day of this
message will get cancer in the butthole.

Speaker 4 (02:25:54):
It'll burn and burn and burn. Maybe that guy is
doing Alzheimer's advertise the worst kind of cancer right in
the butthole. Why, by the way, aren't they getting our
buddy Mario Lopez to do them? Well, guys, Mario.

Speaker 2 (02:26:09):
Lopez, what's going on? Listen?

Speaker 4 (02:26:11):
Thanksgiving and the howidies around the corner and a lot
of people in your family who might not be able
to remember them, because that guy can pivot. Boy, what
the heck, it's Mario Lopez. Back to school. It's an
exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming, and kids
may feel isolated of vulnerability that human traffickers can exploit. Yes,

(02:26:33):
I love that. No one, not a single person, you know,
Mario Lopez isn't sitting in front of Adobe cutting his
own stuff. No one was like, hey, Mario, why don't
you take that one again? And at that part where
you're like, hey, hey, why don't you tone it down
a little bit? Right, you know, it just sort of
started and go, hey, it's Mario Lopez. Let me talk
to you about something serious. Yea, take it down and
octave just one, yep, crazy.

Speaker 6 (02:26:55):
Nope.

Speaker 2 (02:26:55):
They wanted him to be the full Mario full.

Speaker 4 (02:26:58):
Saved by the bell, mar Mario Lopez. Yeah, hey, everybody
a slinger in full bloom. Let me talk to you
about something awesome. Well, not so great, but as Mario
Lopez listen, Alzheimer's is terrible. Yeah, let me tell you, hey, Ario,
Mario Lopez. Here, the holidays are just.

Speaker 16 (02:27:17):
Around the corner, and it's a wonderful time to spend
time with family and friends and give thanks. But it's
also the time of the year where most people commit suicide.

Speaker 4 (02:27:29):
Thank you, Mario Lopez. So good to hear from him.
I'm looking at the list of NC seventeen movies, bad lieutenant,
remember that with Harvey Kaitel. No, the none gets killed
able for our directed Bad Lieutenant. Early nineties show Girls
was show Girls? Yup, trust me, I know that one crash,

(02:27:52):
didn't that win? The oscar not familiar, James Spader. People
are getting turned on by car crashes, is it? David
Cronenberg movie Dice Rules. Dice Rules was an NC concert film.
It was the first NC seventeen started in nineteen ninety.
Henry and June was the first one. I do remember
that Dice Rules was the first film to be given
an NC seventeen for language alone. Can you imagine all

(02:28:14):
the other ones were like, well, there's violence or there's sex.
So stupid the concert film words gets that guy in
NC seventeen, Yeah, that's so dumb, evil dead in nineteen
ninety four, the movie was like already fifteen years old
by then, probably, but yeah, and a lot of them

(02:28:35):
they were like, yeah, this was originally rated X. You know,
like Last Tango in Paris, remember the Brando movie from
the early seventies, or their rub and butter on each
other the whole time. Yeah, back in the seventies they
were still given those movies X ratings just because they
were for adults only, Yeah, because they ended up showing
them in like adult movie houses. They know, you know,
back when they had like porn movie theaters, they'd end

(02:28:57):
up showing them there. Or Gasmo got an NC seventeen.
That's such a good movie. Yeah, that is one of
the funniest movies ever made. A Serbian film. Of course,
a Serbian film got an NC seventeen. Film never watched that.
I mean, big picture, you're not really missing anything. It
is over the top for the sake of being over

(02:29:18):
the top. There are better movies in that Jewel shawl,
this jawl. But I mean it was also banned in
a dozen countries too, so, and it's got some really
gross stuff in it. Did Bad Bunny get is it
called bad Bunny?

Speaker 2 (02:29:33):
Brown Bunny?

Speaker 4 (02:29:34):
Brown Bunny? Did that get an NC seventeen.

Speaker 6 (02:29:36):
I don't see it.

Speaker 4 (02:29:37):
I don't see it on here because he made Chloe
seven yea give him a hummer Yeah, on film? On film, well,
they were dating, like still not rated. Brown Bunny didn't
get a rating. Well what's worse not getting a rating
or getting an NC seventeen. I don't know how you
can put a movie out with no rating. If they're
giving movies ratings, unless that means it was never dish tributed, really, like,

(02:30:00):
was it like a straight to DVD? Now it's two
thousand and three. It was in art houses played it.
Cheryl Tiegs was in that movie. I remember her. I
sure do, And.

Speaker 27 (02:30:09):
Now I must leave you as the Brady bunches on
and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 13 (02:30:16):
Get at it.

Speaker 10 (02:30:18):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

(02:30:39):
One slip and you know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you.

Speaker 3 (02:30:45):
And with all naritis, remember obedience paid. And when you
watch that TV screen, remember it works both ways.

Speaker 10 (02:30:59):
You disappear in a wink. Unless you can double think,
you'll vanish into the blue. Big Brother is watching you.