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January 2, 2025 • 183 mins
The Alan Cox Show
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Funny things that you thinks funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Hear me cockbolling Time.

Speaker 4 (00:14):
Cox Show kicks.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Ash Man, Welcome to me once you go. Yeah, I
can see a lot of cocks on TV. Allen Cox
from the Allen COO what's about you? By?

Speaker 5 (00:24):
Can stand?

Speaker 6 (00:25):
Thank you?

Speaker 7 (00:26):
It would be a pretty So let's kick it, kick
and you'll get eight with a nasty group.

Speaker 8 (00:32):
Okay, one fill three, kick kick it, Tom dam put.

Speaker 9 (00:38):
You one time?

Speaker 10 (00:39):
Take it, Allen Cox.

Speaker 11 (00:43):
Here we go.

Speaker 12 (00:43):
He'll add time.

Speaker 13 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
Double U M m an some other house. He's gonna
be sitting ship now. I'm probably want to go with her.

Speaker 10 (01:01):
I'm kill yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
No, I don't.

Speaker 7 (01:04):
I don't believe in suicide because that's against my religion.
I'll have someone kill me or I was just like, okay.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
Yeah, you're in homicide. You're totally fine. They could ask
for forgiveness.

Speaker 7 (01:17):
Oh, I guess God knows my heart, so he knows
I'm gonna be trying to die.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
I'm gonna conduct from here. Awesome God knows your heart
already in the heaven.

Speaker 7 (01:29):
Well, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna pickle.
I don't want to just live.

Speaker 10 (01:32):
On without her.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
No, I don't want to live on without my mom.
What I gonna do? You a grown ass man? What
am I gonna do? Alan you? You get sympathy, deep sympathy.

Speaker 9 (01:56):
Remember I was watching you you and then handling the
ham candle.

Speaker 10 (02:02):
I was like fourteen, I don't care.

Speaker 9 (02:05):
I see all. I'm the ghost bag. I know what
you do when it's.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Just all right. Why was the only one that saw
the ghost bags? Whatever?

Speaker 9 (02:19):
But I but you're the only one that I saw.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
What did you see?

Speaker 9 (02:24):
I saw of it. I saw you with your shorts
around your ankles, trying to load in a CD rum,
no CD rum.

Speaker 7 (02:36):
When I was fourteen, it was all I mean, we
had dial up. No, I don't even think we had
dial up. We were I was no CD RUMs necessary.
I was getting my porn old fashioned way, a tube site, yeah, streaming.

Speaker 9 (02:52):
Whatever you want to call it. I saw the whole thing.
And when your mother passes away, she'll be happy with me,
and then I'll show her what you just want her
to see.

Speaker 14 (03:07):
She called me like one time, it'll be a ghost
bag and ghost.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Mom from You're nasty. See y'all just gonna watch.

Speaker 10 (03:21):
You can watch what?

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Why wouldn't they watch because you're last? Why would you
want to watch something like that to be a ghost.

Speaker 9 (03:33):
Your mom isn't necessarily nasty. I'll watch whatever. You can't
go Oncake?

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Did you watch me this weekend? What did I do
this weekend? Say? Okay, like.

Speaker 9 (03:57):
I like Dan subscribe, Yes, I saw it all?

Speaker 7 (04:03):
Okay, Well good, I'm glad. I'm happy for you. I'm
glad you got your little ghost rocks off.

Speaker 9 (04:07):
No, I don't have any rocks. I just saw because
anytime you anytime I hear that zipper, it's a signal
that goes off and I have to be there. It's
not that I want to be there. I have to
be there.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
There was no echo plasmic discharge. It's not always a
zipper though.

Speaker 7 (04:29):
Sometimes it's just flopping over the waistband or you know,
I'm wearing shorts around the house, so sometimes I just
got to get it in real quick.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
Did you actually have anything happened this weekend? Yeah?

Speaker 10 (04:39):
Oh we sure did.

Speaker 9 (04:41):
Didn't even clean up.

Speaker 10 (04:42):
You're nasty.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
It was lettuce.

Speaker 9 (04:47):
It was lettuce.

Speaker 15 (04:48):
All right, let us ghost watch? Yeah whatever, but really
enjoy the ghost Bag for what of a reason.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
I had a lot of people up about to go.
Bag is good.

Speaker 7 (05:07):
I tell stories on the show that I completely forget about,
but the listeners never ever forget, Like that was something
from my past that y'all just make a mockery up.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
I was being dead serious.

Speaker 10 (05:17):
Oh I knew you was.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
That's unfinished business. Mary. See, this is unfinished business.

Speaker 10 (05:25):
You couldn't finish your business, you fish.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 10 (05:29):
You finish pace, ghost Bag, don't lie.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
See you're gonna ruin it.

Speaker 7 (05:36):
I'm not gonna not even gonna be do anything anymore
because I'm gonna just be thinking about this every time.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
I do it. Tony do something, ghost Bag is there watching.

Speaker 9 (05:48):
Ghost Bag is always watching.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Mad you show you do it right. Ain't even lend
a hand a ghost hand or nothing.

Speaker 9 (05:58):
I don't have a bag, man, Have you ever see
a bag with hands?

Speaker 7 (06:05):
You guys can like throw stuff around the room, can't you, Like,
I don't know, make me levitate or something.

Speaker 9 (06:09):
I don't throw anything around the room. That's why I'm floating.
I can't even determine what direction I'm moving.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
The wind just takes you and you just go away.
So if I just do you think I.

Speaker 9 (06:24):
Saw you the first time? Do you think I wanted
to be in there? Sloaded right next to your computer,
and there you were, fourteen years old in the headdress.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
So if I just turn on the fan, then I
don't have to worry about you.

Speaker 9 (06:39):
I mean, yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
Okay, Well mean the room.

Speaker 10 (06:44):
You got to turn a fan on.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
I'll turn on a fan.

Speaker 9 (06:48):
Make sure you turn on a fan because I don't
want to be in there. I got things to do, man,
I don't want to be in there all the time
watching you do that.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
What do you got to do? Nothing?

Speaker 10 (06:57):
I have ghost bag stuff to do.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
What ghost stuff is? Anybody questions? Today?

Speaker 9 (07:06):
I got other people just by on, I got other
people I have to watch.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
To watch boy year bag is more like it.

Speaker 10 (07:16):
I don't know what that means. I want to go.

Speaker 9 (07:19):
I gotta watch your neighbor.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
Okay, that's very pleased with himself. Oh come on, my
afterlife spying on people.

Speaker 7 (07:34):
You guys better hope I don't die at thirty five,
because none of y'all will have no privacy ever again.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Yeah, but I don't care about ghost watching. I want to care.
You know, there's a short period of time when you
grow up Catholic when they tell you, you know your grandparents
can watch you. They'll throw anything against the wall to
keep you from touching yourself when you are young and Catholic,
and that takes about a week before you're right back

(07:59):
into it. You're like, well, guess what, grandma, if you're
watching me do this, you could be zipping around the universe.
But no, you're gonna sit there and watch me and
I don't even know you're there. That's fine, Okay, guys.

Speaker 16 (08:12):
Are okay with that?

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yeah? So whatever. Oh boy, listen, I know we've given
away passes. I think we gave him away last week
and we will continue to do so. But Cedar Point
has been knocked out of the top five amusement parks
in the world for the first time in the long time.

Speaker 7 (08:31):
Understand why it's still great. They shut down that friggin
top drill dragster, but that was not the best ride there.

Speaker 10 (08:38):
Breaking. I don't know if that like tallest fastest type thing.

Speaker 7 (08:41):
Fast does not fast and high does not equal a
good ride like it goes so fast, you don't I'm
high and it's fast. It's a good time, but you
don't even get to enjoy it goes so fast. They
get high uh praise over here.

Speaker 12 (08:56):
Huh.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
They get high praise for some of the rides, but
they have fallen out of the top five in the
park rankings. So for the first time in over twenty
years the Golden Ticket Awards. This is from, of course,
the publication called Amusement Today. Unfortunately I just recently let
my subscription lapse. Oh so I uh yeah. For the
first time since nineteen ninety eight, the inaugural year of

(09:17):
the Golden Ticket Awards, there point was not ranked in
the top five amusement parks. It took on a ton
of awards for individual categories. Steel Vengeance is the number two,
Steal Coaster fun Ride, Money Enforces number three, But at
the top parks now are in Germany Dollywood.

Speaker 7 (09:40):
Because the theme park that doesn't even count, why doesn't count?

Speaker 3 (09:43):
They have rides. We were gonna go to Dollywood because
I thought it was like some po dunk thing and
we were in Pigeon Forde. I was like, big, oh God,
it's like eighty five bucks just to walk through the gates. Fantasial.
Germany's killing it with theme parks. I won a good
Germany so bad, Universal Island of It Venture in Florida
and Silver Dollar City in Missouri. Wow, when silver Dollar

(10:07):
City kicks your ass. The bottom rank parks include Jerry's
Fast Stuff Park in Satsuma, Alabama, fast Stuff two Flags.
Wait there's two flags?

Speaker 10 (10:18):
Huh?

Speaker 3 (10:19):
Two Flags in Hutchinson, Kansas and Skeeter Point in Tucker, Georgia.
So those are your very very bottom ranked parks. Well, hey, listen, man,
who cares?

Speaker 11 (10:33):
Right?

Speaker 3 (10:33):
We don't go to Cedar Point because they're top ranked.
That's just gravy. Go to Cedar Point because it's convenient.
It's right there, it's right there.

Speaker 7 (10:44):
The guy I met was from Montenegro, and boy he
was a model. Oh and yeah, I just couldn't get over.
I regret that because I couldn't get over you know,
the he was a model who still worked at Cedar Point.
He was a model in his home country, Montenegro has
like less than a million people in it.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
Right, But why wouldn't he stay there and be a
model Because he wanted to come to American and see
whatever was last you want to be a model in
a ride. It's her point a dorm. He did exactly
what he wanted to do.

Speaker 7 (11:16):
He met an American guy who then you know, didn't
was that you follow Yeah, didn't follow up with him,
but that's because.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
He was That was probably what he wanted to do.
I want to meet American man who doesn't follow up
with me.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
New Year's resolutions or just admitting that you were a
giant failure last year. Fortunately you're among friends here at
Failure Central show on one hundred point seven MMA.

Speaker 3 (11:51):
When we were in Sedona last week. He got to
the point where my wife said that I was going
to owe her and my daughter twenty every time I
brought up death, which I guess I don't know. I
didn't realize I was being morbid. So my daughter was
really holding me to that because I'd say, you know,
I'm just goofing around and say things like you're gonna

(12:11):
make it. She'd be like, that's death. I go, oh,
that's not death. But I guess maybe I'm more morbid
in my humor than I realized. And you know, it
really gave me some pause for thought. Now that I
owe my wife and child six hundred dollars.

Speaker 6 (12:33):
Hey, gay Lord, Hello, mister Cox, Hello, mister squire Jo.

Speaker 16 (12:41):
Hello.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
Miss color Lady. What's the dog's name? Gaylord?

Speaker 6 (12:51):
I wanted to call be in that I'm a fellow
drummer just like you are. And I happened to hear
a song being played thirty Days in the Hole.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
Oh, we were talking about solitary confinement. I fired up
the Humble Pie, kay Lord, Yes, sir, and.

Speaker 6 (13:17):
I knew the drummer from.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
That group.

Speaker 6 (13:22):
He was a disc jockey from one of the radio
stations there in Cleveland.

Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah, did Jerry Shirley he used to be over at nCX.
Didn't they fire him because he stole some money?

Speaker 6 (13:39):
Well, you know, I never did hear for sure.

Speaker 3 (13:44):
Yeah, they fired him and he stole money from like
a charity thing or something.

Speaker 6 (13:48):
Well, you know, he had a bunch of dancers coming
in that.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
This is like in the mid nineties, Like I was
like first getting into radio, and I knew Jerry Shirley
from Humble Pie. But what the hell is this guy
doing doing the British? What is he doing doing the
radio in Cleveland? And then yeah, and then all I
all I heard after that was that they were like, yeah,
he had some dancers and there's doing some charity thing

(14:17):
and took some money. I don't know what it was.
It was a long time ago, Gaylor.

Speaker 6 (14:21):
He did it quite a few times, you know. Happened
a charity thing in that thirty days right at Christmas
time to get the mis GIFs.

Speaker 17 (14:33):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (14:34):
How did he end up on the How did a
British guy end up on the radio in Cleveland, Ohio?

Speaker 6 (14:40):
You know, I never did understand that, other than the
fact that I think he said that humble Tide played.
There are a lot uh uh in the area, and
uh he got to know some of the other radio

(15:02):
station guys and I.

Speaker 3 (15:04):
See, well was a great band. It was Frampton and
Steve Marriott. Humble Pie I remember, was like one of
the very first supergroups late sixties.

Speaker 6 (15:13):
Yes, there was a lot of history there. And I'm
telling my age because well MMS used to.

Speaker 12 (15:23):
Give me tickets.

Speaker 6 (15:26):
I knew the public relations.

Speaker 3 (15:30):
Manager back then, back when we had public allows.

Speaker 6 (15:36):
Yeah, and I was pretty close to him, and I
would get tickets from you guys to go when other
people couldn't go and kind of give them an idea
how the concerts went. And I had kind of a

(16:02):
handle on a news report.

Speaker 3 (16:09):
Listen, gay lord, you're cutting out, but I appreciate the
call as always. Thank you. There's a gay lord who's
out there in Wellington and uh knows a lot of people.
It doesn't know anything about them.

Speaker 7 (16:21):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (16:22):
I was hoping for a little behind the scenes type
thing there and not the case. Alan. My wife accidentally
undercooked some chicken last week and now we.

Speaker 10 (16:32):
Have worms in their bellies.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
I mean under It's on It's in the fine print
on every menu. Don't under eating undercooked chicken. Don't you
get salmonella or something? Right? Yeah, undercooked chicken.

Speaker 10 (16:54):
I know they could give you worms. Is that what
salmonilla is? Worms?

Speaker 3 (16:58):
It could probably manifest. Well, salmonella is just the bacteria,
right you COLLI those things? I thought it was a
former gangster.

Speaker 10 (17:04):
Sound.

Speaker 18 (17:05):
Where are the armed men who come in to take
the protesters away? Where are they? This kind of behavior
is never tolerating in Barakua. You shout like that, they
put you in jail right away, No trial, no, no nothing. Journalists.
We have especially jail for journalists. You're dealing right to jail.
You're playing music too loud, right to jail right away.
You're driving too fast. Jail slow jail. You're charging too

(17:29):
high prices for sueaters glasses.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
You write to jail you under cook fish, believe it
or not. Jail, jail for under cookfish and chicken. Hm
under cook over cook believe it or not. Jail.

Speaker 6 (17:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
Food poisoning. One million people get sick each year from
eating contaminated poultry. Yeah. Gross diarrhea when you're sliding in
and your pants are full of foam diarrhea. You can
leave us messages on the iHeartRadio app if you're listening

(18:08):
there from wherever. A little talkback button for you. Hey,
Allen hate the show, Welcome back.

Speaker 19 (18:13):
I wanted to chime in that I was able to
watch Mary's new stand up special Nothing Matters, and it
was really good. It was really really funny for a
female comic get anybody's paintings and advice on the show.
I thought it was surprising at the end she started
talking about radio and I was listening and I saw
at the end there's a special thanks and a shout

(18:33):
out to Alan Cox, not the only show, nobody else,
just Alan m.

Speaker 3 (18:40):
What do you mean? Hum? Why would she think pound
cake or yeah, yeah, my show. What are you talking about?
I didn't know there's a little thing on there.

Speaker 10 (18:46):
Because you didn't watch it.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
Well that's nice, thank you, that's sweet. I want to
thank him. I'm giving you all this promo.

Speaker 10 (18:53):
Mary, Yeah, you're giving me.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
But I don't understand. I don't understand why he thought
that was so weird.

Speaker 10 (18:59):
I don't know. Yeah, we did, because we did.

Speaker 14 (19:02):
Like a pre and post show interview and they had
asked me about the doing crowd work.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
This was you and who.

Speaker 10 (19:10):
The production team?

Speaker 3 (19:11):
I see, So this isn't part of the special.

Speaker 14 (19:14):
No, it's like before they do a little clips of
the interview before and after the special, and we did
the interview before and after the taping, and they asked
about the crowd work, and I had said that since
I got the job on radio, I had felt that
my CrowdWork has improved tremendously.

Speaker 10 (19:27):
Because that's what we do.

Speaker 14 (19:29):
I come in and we just kind of riff off
the top of our heads and then there's like a
scrolling special thinks.

Speaker 10 (19:35):
And I like think, you know, like the production company
my openers, you Brian, my family? Yeah, thanks, your name's
on there.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
Well, yeah, Poundcake's name is not going to be on.

Speaker 10 (19:45):
No Poundcakes name is not on there.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
No special thanks to the pound Take podcast.

Speaker 10 (19:50):
For is sniffing history.

Speaker 3 (19:52):
There you go. I'm telling you there's gonna you got
something with sniffing history. Yeah, there's something there.

Speaker 14 (20:00):
But I think the caller was trying to say he
thought it was weird that I said thank you to
Alan Cox but.

Speaker 10 (20:04):
Not the Alan Cox Show. Which one and the same?

Speaker 20 (20:06):
Right?

Speaker 3 (20:07):
No, no, anyway, it's uh, one's my name and one's
the radio show that bears my name.

Speaker 10 (20:16):
Which would you have preferred I put on there?

Speaker 3 (20:18):
I don't care. What's your special?

Speaker 10 (20:20):
Well, I think you specifically that's just fine.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
Yeah, that's fair, that's very kind of you and my special.
I thanked everybody, did you in your special? You thanked
everyone our najer in the credits of your specials?

Speaker 11 (20:33):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (20:33):
Why because you guys. I'm thankful for you.

Speaker 21 (20:40):
For you.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
Yeah, but we had nothing to do with your special. Yeah,
but you helped me promote it and you hi the well,
what do you think about any different ways? Because thanking me,
I get pound Cake the job at doing anything for him.

Speaker 10 (20:55):
He tag every supporter, he.

Speaker 3 (20:57):
Came, he came, he came to the thing in the
has he finally woke up.

Speaker 22 (21:01):
He helps share things, and I don't know. I just
I don't see a reason. Not the thing.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
No, I'm not saying it's your special. You know what
you want. I came there, I enjoyed the food, and
the question was, what did pound Cake do for you?
He just he's a special boy, and I like to
thank you. He was on the pound podcast. I promoted
his podcast. Yeah, but you promoting his podcast does nothing
for his podcast, is the point. I was curious what
you did for him. But I think my thank you

(21:29):
is I have to go through it again. Yeah, it
was the thing.

Speaker 14 (21:35):
I wasn't trying to do fifty different thank you and
the two that I wanted on there they didn't even include,
which was John Burton who did the cover art, and
then the photographer who took the picture that was used
for the cover art. They clipped it down from like
seven to five. So it was like my two openers.
My mom, she was at the show, Brian you and
then like the production team.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
That's what he used to piss me off. When I
was in Pittsburgh, I did three charity CDs and it
was some of my stand up and it was some
of like bits from the show, and I had to
put everybody's name and the credit people. Yeah, video is different,
but I mean like than a CD liner note or whatever.
But I had to put They wanted me to put

(22:17):
everybody's goddamn name. And I'm like, these Pete salespeople like
they didn't do anything for me, They didn't help me
write any of this. Why am I putting their names
in there?

Speaker 22 (22:27):
So my thank yous were thanks to well special thanks
to Pete and Nadal and Tony from The Funny Start.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
A doll adele Ohnd and then thanks.

Speaker 22 (22:39):
Ala Cox, Mary Sentora, Cody Brown, gave Gary, Mickey Genosi, Marty, Danny,
my girlfriend, Grandma Cody Cooper and cheers my girlfriend, Grandma,
my girlfriend, and then Comma Grandma.

Speaker 3 (22:51):
People to save life. He said, my girlfriend, Grandma's what
he said that was a Freudian slip. Was that a
Freudian slip? There was a company. I can't hear a comma,
you said my girl. What I heard was my girlfriend,
Grandma said Danny, my girlfriend, Danny, my girlfriend, Grandma, Grandma Parma, Grandma,
your girlfriend's name is Danny. Yeah, Danny, my girlfriend, Grandma Danielle.

(23:14):
You call her my girlfriend, grandma. I call her Danny,
and she's my girlfriend.

Speaker 12 (23:20):
Danny.

Speaker 3 (23:20):
Comma, my girlfriend, Comma, you put my I'm taking your
name out of the thing. Wait, but in the credit,
you don't have the words my girlfriend. No, I got you.
You were explaining to the audience to the audioce gotcha, Danny,
my girlfriend grandma. And then who's next? Cody Cooper? Cody Cooper?
And he's not your boyfriend, grandma? Is he not? Okay?

(23:43):
So I just people that either helped me promoted or
helped me. Did write the press release? He did? Yeah,
so I forgot about that. He's a helpful he's a
helpful Brown. Well, fortunately for you, Bill Squire did not
forget about that. Even you forgot about it. Yeah, so
there you go. I forget a lot of stuff because

(24:05):
you're sleeping all the time, homie. Mm hmm. I wasn't
sleeping during Humanities. I just wasn't paying attention. Isn't that then?
What's the difference If you're not paying attention, what's the
point of being awake? Oh? What, I just whipped some
wisdom on him. I love that. That's not that's away. Well,

(24:28):
if you're not remembering, if you're not paying attention, what's
you said? And then.

Speaker 14 (24:35):
Immediately that's why he didn't get a special things in
my special? Right, Yeah, because I guarantee you haven't watched
yet either, have you, Cody, So you wouldn't have seen
if there was a special things for you.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
No, I did not see it.

Speaker 23 (24:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
See Mike from Parmis says, call her danny granny.

Speaker 10 (24:53):
Oh my Danny, granny.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
Those are two separate n my girlfriend grandma grandma, Danny
my girlfriend grandma. Right, yeah, pound Cake wasn't listening. But
he's not asleep. But again, whether you're a professor or
whether you're main if you're not paying attention, not being
asleep is a distinction without a difference, because he's not

(25:18):
asleep because he's woke. Well, for whatever reason, he forgot
that he did your press release. I kind of forget
that too. Everybody involved forgot super appreciated.

Speaker 14 (25:35):
If you'd like to see Ellen Cox's name scroll at
the bottom of My special you can check out Nothing Matters.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
Yeah, what a fantastic story. Somebody sent me from Alyyria
that it was in the Ellyria Chronicle that's the local paper. Yeah, yeah, yep,
they sent me a screenshot of an article that was
in the Elyria Chronicle. Uh a couple of weeks ago,
and there's so much going on here, I'm just going

(26:05):
to read this as written in the police blodder. The
forty two hundred block of Telegraph Road in Allyria, a
man reported fraud. This is around six at night. A
man reported that his fiancee was kidnapped and he was

(26:25):
contacted for a ransom demand of twenty five thousand dollars.
A man reported that his fiancee had been kidnapped and
he was contacted for a ransom demand of twenty five
thousand dollars. He showed police that the woman his fiancee,
lives in Massachusetts and was on a job interview when

(26:48):
she was abducted, and he received photos of her tied
to a chair. The police determined the man was the
victim of a scam. The photo was determined to be
that of an adult film actress. The man then told
the police he had never actually met his fiancee as

(27:11):
she was from Australia and he was expected to pay
ten thousand dollars to the elder chief of her Aboriginal
tribe to speak with and marry the woman. He had
not yet paid that amount, as he was paying twenty
five hundred dollars a month to support the woman and

(27:32):
her mother. When he recently told his fiancee he could
not continue paying the monthly support because of his own
pending divorce, he said that's when she was kidnapped. After
taking the report and discovering from the Massachusetts police where

(27:53):
she supposedly lives, that the fiance's address did not exist,
and in fact, no record of the woman was found
at all, the police said he received a follow up
call from the man who reported that the kidnappers had
dropped the ransom from twenty five thousand dollars to twelve
thousand dollars because the woman was on her period. Oh goodness, Oh,

(28:19):
what a rollercoaster ride. That story. That's a lot there
right there in Aliria, Ohio. You gotta pay attention to
the cycle when you're kidnapping at that the forty two
hundred block of Telegraph Road, that block is hot.

Speaker 7 (28:35):
Wow, twenty five hundred dollars in Aliria, you can you
can get a mansion.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
You can be over there on Golf Road. If you're well.
He's supporting his fiancee who he's never met, golf road golf,
who he's never met. And wow, what what a thrill ride?
That story is the season of love is blind is crazy?

Speaker 10 (28:56):
Love is blindfolded?

Speaker 3 (28:58):
Yeah? Alan? Why are you not simulcast here in Youngstown?
On the Wolf? I don't know what that is? But
I assume I don't know. Why would I be? Should
I be? What does simulcast mean? Pound Cake? A broad
casting student doesn't know what simulcast means, but I like
where it's from. He is from Youngstown. I'm going to

(29:21):
be there. I've been to Youngstown in a few years.
So you haven't performed in Youngstown in years. It's been
just down the road, I know. But it's been a
couple well because everything shut down, oh yeah, away for
a couple.

Speaker 22 (29:34):
Of years twenty nineteen, and then didn't do it in
twenty twenty or twenty or since twenty nineteen, so it's
been it's been a while.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
I got my new posters that are a big hit.
It's going to be a good time. Wait, they're new
and they're already a hit. They were a hit this weekend.
Oh yeah yeah, how made you move?

Speaker 17 (29:51):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (29:52):
A few hundred dollars worth? How much are they a piece?
I let people pay whatever they want for him? So
I wis with this? Let you pay whatever you want things? Right?
Because no, it's better.

Speaker 22 (30:02):
Why because some people give you ten, some people give
you twenty, some people give.

Speaker 3 (30:06):
What's the least? Somebody gives you usually five. So somebody's
paying you twenty, the guy behind him gives you five
and they both walk away with your What kind of
business model is it? Because not everybody can afford the
same amount, Well, then they don't get a poster. No,
I just like this, what you're you're paying to make them?
I pay to make them? Yeah, out of your pocket,

(30:27):
paid for the art to be it's live right there,
So they can't super thank you? Right, So this is
the way of super thank you? Just go? Is it
a big poster? Twenty four by thirty six? Is it
like the movie card? Leven by seventeen? So that's like
a foot by a foot and a half. Okay, love
by seventeen? Right, you have them? Who did you did

(30:49):
the art? Pants of the art? Who the art? Leslie?
Leslie did the art? Yes, she's the one who drew
ghost Bag for us?

Speaker 12 (30:56):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (30:57):
Right, so did she do this pro bowl. No, No,
I paid her. Okay, so you paid her. You commissioned
this from her, right, and she probably took care of ye.
I probably would didn't break Cayden Center price. I paid her.
You paid her what you want? Why is this? Pay
what you want? I paid I thought it was worth
and so I paid a payer. Well, and I you know,

(31:18):
got good quality posters. Barry knows you do the.

Speaker 10 (31:22):
Do you want for CDs?

Speaker 3 (31:23):
And it works? Yeah, it's great. How does it work?
You're still making I mean you're making.

Speaker 14 (31:29):
Money if someone gives you a dollar, if someone gives you.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
A hundred, right, but you're But if you said my
CDs are ten dollars apiece, are you worried people won't
buy that. That's too high of a price point. No,
it's not for a.

Speaker 14 (31:41):
CD because some people enjoy you so much that they'll
give you extra like they don't have.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
To do that. They don't have to they're all ten dollars.

Speaker 14 (31:48):
But if you say they're ten dollars, no one's going
to ten dollars. If you say they're ten dollars, no
one's handing your twenty.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
Okay. So when you say pay what you want, the
gamble is they will overpay, or.

Speaker 14 (32:00):
If they can't afford ten dollars, they can give you
two and still get your your the because the people
who give you twenty makeup for the difference.

Speaker 10 (32:08):
It ends up evening out to about the same. Alan
Cox the sort.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Of man and we used to describe but school. He
was a complete creek. The Cox Show one. Do you
see the hang gliding video over the guy wasn't hooked in? Whoa,
that was a hantscraffer. It's at Alancoxshow dot com. I'll
play it for you if you're watching the live video stream.

(32:32):
This is a guy in Sweden, and I think he
took the whole thing pretty well. He ended up having
to have multiple surgeries. Oh I don't have you. He
tore a bicep for one turn on that app thing
because it's not okay. He forgot to hook the guy
to the hang glider itself.

Speaker 10 (32:51):
How does that happen?

Speaker 3 (32:53):
I don't know. You would think if you were the
guy the passenger, you'd go, now I'm all hooked in
and everything right checking. Oh god, when you go skydiving, like,
make sure everything's on me right away. The guy realizes
he is not hooked onto the hang glider and so
he has to hang from the thing. It's in Swedish,

(33:13):
so if there's any cursing, weel all.

Speaker 10 (33:15):
Would you not notice that you needed to ben?

Speaker 24 (33:18):
Like?

Speaker 3 (33:18):
Is that the first Like? Shouldn't the instructor clip you
before he clips himself in? That's right? And so the
guy hangs on and he immediately realizes that he is
not hooked on. So he's hanging onto the instructor around
the hand and his left hand on the bar crossbar
of the hang glider, and they're gosh, how long can

(33:40):
you hang on? They're very high up there, They are
so high up. And then he's trying to find a
place to land, but there's nowhere really the land. Here's
the houses. Yeah, and then it's a forest. And they
got high enough up that they're not going to be
able to get down the mountain with another mountain and
with the guy just there next to him, that's gotta

(34:01):
throw like the weight distributional yea, the whole thing.

Speaker 17 (34:04):
Oh my god, can you imagine you're holding on for
dear life going over mountains.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
I mean, the guy's still alive. But at the end
he tells you that he had to have pins in
his wrist. He tore a bice up. Yeah, I'm happy.
Oh yeah, he comes in hot too. Yeah carel'll screwed
ahead because it's just it's just hanging on here, like yeah,
there's no screaming.

Speaker 10 (34:27):
Has a long time to hang on like that.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
Yeah, that guy's got a great grip strength, so good
for him. You see this, Yeah, I.

Speaker 10 (34:37):
Can see yeah, and then they are coming.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
Down slows it down in The guy was probably so
happy to be alive that he could be a little bit. Yeah,
you're trying to be about it. You're getting ruffed up
a little bit by that. It's not a bad, yeah thing,
so he jumps up. Yeah, but he like broke his
wrist and it needs a bunch of pins in it.
Is that a selfie sticks hanging in front of the thing,
Well yeah, because you're going there. It's a tourist seating course.

(35:02):
So they got the GoPro so you want that video,
and obviously that's the kind of video you know that
the guy's gonna want for any potential lawsuits that might
come to But I don't know if these I just
don't know how you like dot com?

Speaker 17 (35:17):
I want to hear the click, like the click click,
you're in the apparatus.

Speaker 22 (35:21):
Yeah, I'm gonna like sit there and like I'm gonna
hang and make sure it can support my weight. Well,
that's like you want to make sure that you are
clipped in.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
When we went to Mexico for the very first time,
we went on one of those jungle zipline things, Yeah,
where you are going a thousand feet over these huge
valleys and caverns and you know, and these guys are
all jokey. They're like, hey, we're gonna hook you. He
maybe not, you know. I'm like, dude, I'm telling you

(35:49):
right now. And Gwen is such a daredevil, She's like
you know what I mean. Gwen's like she's going upside
down and you know, and I'm trying to play along.
I'm not. I'm like, look at this point, it's like
being in an airplane. If the thing snaps, it's a
touristy thing. It doesn't break. Because hundred people.

Speaker 17 (36:08):
Trying to tell pound Cake when we were on that
little caer list to go to Jamaica, give a crack.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
I don't give a crap.

Speaker 10 (36:15):
I'm like, there's no way this thing breaks.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
Because that's not every day it doesn't matter. Well that's gamblers,
but still also if you're up there and it breaks,
what are you gonna do? Like, you know the thing,
I'm not afraid of heights, right, I'm not. I can go.

Speaker 10 (36:32):
Though.

Speaker 7 (36:33):
I think it was like a drop that was not
a foot drop that was not that was probably more
than forty feet.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
But that's you'd be. We're above tree lines. Bruh.

Speaker 10 (36:43):
We would hit trees though on the way down, which
I think would break our fall.

Speaker 3 (36:46):
It would be tough to survive that.

Speaker 17 (36:48):
That's the way I was looking at I'm like, oh,
like we could survive this if it fell.

Speaker 7 (36:51):
And then all this stuff not to make all this
stuff that would maul you at the bottom like we
had like all you well there there's different. Think there's
bears in Jamaica. No, I didn't say bears. You mean
you mean you get roughed up and you get no.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
Animals.

Speaker 10 (37:08):
But what are we getting mauled by if we land
in animal.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
There were stuff jumping from trees when I was going
down there. I don't know on the squirrel. When you
went down that roller coaster, the jungle, it pretty much
was the jungle. There's animals up there.

Speaker 22 (37:27):
There's animals, but there they're gonna be so scared by
the loud news that they're.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
Not gonna run back you. And then remember we went
past actually with nothing but spiders. I don't know. I
wasn't worried about getting malled, but I don't know what's
in Jamaican forests, you.

Speaker 22 (37:40):
Know, Jule, But I don't think you're gonna get mauled
by something. If you land in.

Speaker 10 (37:47):
You get bit by some diseased bug.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
Yeah, there was a big like size everywhere. Yeah, one
of my heart is sing.

Speaker 10 (37:56):
Of course, spiders were like the size of your hand.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
It was disgusting out But when we were ziplining in Mexico,
I mean I on the last run, I finally go, okay,
clip me on my back and I'll superman it across
the thing.

Speaker 10 (38:06):
You know, you're a superman that hope.

Speaker 3 (38:07):
Yeah, And I mean it was exhilarating you. It was
exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time, because you
are way way up there. I'm like, if anything happens,
obviously I'm dead. But yeah, I made peace with it
before you jumped. Well, I'm first of before I made peace,
I made sure that everything was clipped to me. You know,

(38:30):
I know these guys do it hundreds of times a
day and their business is contingent on people not dying, right,
I get that. But something like this where it's a
guy with a hang glider.

Speaker 17 (38:41):
Yeah, I don't know how you not checked to make
sure that you're hooked in.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
They should have both checked you. Right about the guy
who went skydiving and the uh instructor, you know, first
time you go, first couple of times you go, you
have to go with tandem, you have to go to
the instructor. This guy goes and the instructor, they're just
discovering now, killed himself by cutting himself from the parachute.

(39:06):
So they thought the guy fell, but he they say,
he committed suicide. Oh wow from his tandem person. No, no, no,
the instructor committed suicide. So the guy who's jumping underneath
is he tandem.

Speaker 10 (39:18):
When this happens? So he cuts himself free from the other.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
From the guy from like the guy who paid to
go up in Skydim?

Speaker 10 (39:23):
Wh I traumatize somebody else?

Speaker 3 (39:25):
I know, that's so weird. Yeah, it's pretty wild.

Speaker 10 (39:29):
This is my mind. If my instructor just abandoned.

Speaker 25 (39:31):
Ship, because I would think I'm the one to or
something time. I thought the was gonna dissipate. Sorry, I
thought because we're so high up and we're going so fast.

Speaker 3 (39:43):
Able to sell it all that. Yeah, skydiving coach loosened
his harness to commit suicide during tandem jump.

Speaker 24 (39:50):
That's crazy.

Speaker 10 (39:52):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 17 (39:52):
But if you're gonna do that, you do that crap alone,
and you can do that with someone strapped to your back.

Speaker 3 (39:57):
And so the person just he had a parachute, so
he was fine, well, you each have a parachute, okay,
but a two man jump this is outside. Uh it
was in New Hampshire. Forty one year old guy detached himself.
You really want to commit suit, you really want to die?
He did this a mile up, so you fall a

(40:18):
mile before you hit the ground. Parachutes yet well no,
obviously then right it was the worst suicide attempt ever.
He landed safely and softly on the ground. You could
let a parte a mile up. Meant to not do that, right,
But he's not trying to let the parachute. Do you
wanted to plummet to the ground here.

Speaker 17 (40:37):
The past the passenger I guess, like, how do you
know when to pull your chute.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
I think the instructor is supposed to think they're on timers.
They're on timers. And also you do get some instruction
before you go up, I mean, you know landing. And
I don't know if it was the guy's first time either,
but the instructor was the guy who killed himself. That
is messed up, man. Why put somebody else through your trauma?
And the only reason they arrived at that is they said,

(41:03):
there's no experience. There's no skydiver as experienced as this
guy was who would have loosened a harness by mistake.
It's your harness, it's the thing that's It's not like,
it's not like your auxiliary shoot did No.

Speaker 17 (41:15):
It has been like maybe it was too tight and
it was choking him or something.

Speaker 3 (41:18):
Or they said that he loosened his harness in mid
air and they're considering it an intentional act. He jumped.
The second jumper landed safely. That's the body was found
about seven hundred and fifty feet away from the drop zone. Damn,
imagine that.

Speaker 10 (41:35):
Do you look like when you fall from that high up?

Speaker 3 (41:37):
Huh?

Speaker 10 (41:37):
What do you look like when you fall.

Speaker 3 (41:38):
From that high up when you hit the ground look
like much?

Speaker 10 (41:42):
Really?

Speaker 3 (41:44):
Was that the Ten Commandments movie that the Michael Schowalter
did where the guy falls from he's skydiving, then he
falls into the ground but lives, but he's like stuck
in the ground.

Speaker 22 (41:54):
Oh, I don't know, it's really funny, but he's like,
I mean, it's it's joky, like he's like half burn.

Speaker 17 (42:00):
I know it's morbid to think about, but like I
always think about like the nine to eleven jumpers, like
the people who jump from the building the twin towers
because they were like on fire and it's just too
hot and whatever, Like what that look like on the ground.
I know it's like really gross to think about, but
like I genuinely don't know what the looks like when
you fall that so your blood in your body and

(42:22):
organs and stuff like imagine probably roadkill.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
Yeah, I don't know, I don't know what you look like.

Speaker 10 (42:28):
I've never I've never seen a picture, nor do.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
I want you never had to see it.

Speaker 17 (42:33):
Yeah, but they're you know, people in all those documentaries
describe the jumpers and like what was left of people?

Speaker 3 (42:39):
You know, I basically you're outside, your insides are on
the outside your body.

Speaker 7 (42:43):
Basically, if you're falling for a mile, I mean I
would say you have some significant time in the air
so you could find your piece at whatever you want
to do. You're just sitting here thinking like, all right,
well I got thirty seconds before I hit the ground mile.

Speaker 10 (42:55):
Well, well you're a mile up if you're skydiving in.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (42:57):
So you're like thinking, hmmm, like, whoa, I had a
cheeseburger last night. That's the last cheeseburger I'll ever had.
And is that what you're thinking. That's what he's thinking.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
That's what I would think. I'm really going to miss
my hood popcorn, and you you have a significant amount
of time in that mile to rethink it. Yeah, obviously you.

Speaker 10 (43:15):
Have a point why I have never jumped to my
own death.

Speaker 3 (43:17):
That's why I started doing the old flappy arms. And
then you just give in and pretend like you're swimming. Yeah,
but this guy could have pulled his shoot up until
about Yeah. I don't know many half a thousand feet,
but over the past ten years, one person has died
for every five hundred thousand tandem jumps, so it's very rare, rare,
that a skydiver will die. There's so many seis.

Speaker 17 (43:39):
It gives me comfort and makes me want to like
try skydiving. But I just feel like I'm gonna be
the one person out of five hundred thousand.

Speaker 3 (43:45):
But you won't be. Yeah, you won't play the odds.
The odds are so in your favor that you'll live. Yeah,
I just feel like I'm the unlucky one. Why. I
don't know narcissism.

Speaker 10 (43:56):
I don't think it's narcissistic.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
You know, Why would you be so pessimistic about it?

Speaker 17 (44:00):
Because I think it's because my fear of dying. It's
not narcissism. It's the fear of dying.

Speaker 12 (44:04):
Right.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
But you're gonna die because it's irrational, right, But you
should take comfort in knowing that you will. The odds
are way more in your favor that you will die
in the most mundane way.

Speaker 10 (44:13):
I know.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
I know. And if you did dine in a skydiving thing,
that's a great story for pound Cake to tell your kids. Yeah,
that's right. Your mom was a real devil, all right.

Speaker 22 (44:25):
That pots thing is she wanted to live life to
the fullest of the skydiving.

Speaker 17 (44:29):
So I couldn't think of a better way to get
over my fear of dying than jumping.

Speaker 10 (44:32):
Out of a plane.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
You should, you should do it.

Speaker 10 (44:34):
I don't think I can.

Speaker 3 (44:35):
I mean I don't know, but not right now. But no,
but maybe someday. You can't do a skydive if you
have pots. I mean, what if they made you horizontal?
You do a horizontal jump? I mean people in wheelchairs
have jumped.

Speaker 10 (44:47):
No, it's not that.

Speaker 17 (44:47):
It's just that I might not be able to, like
the blood doesn't circulate the pressure. Yeah, like the air
pressure might cause me to like just pass out.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
Come up there, Hey.

Speaker 12 (45:00):
Jumper X Hello, Hello, Eric is incorrect? You're all incorrect.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
Well, that's usually the case out. It's what you do,
not turn inside out. Well, I was being cheeky, but
I mean not. You don't stay intact. When you hit the.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
Ground, Well, your skin pretty much turns.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
Into a rubber ball. Okay, explain that to me.

Speaker 26 (45:21):
You're bleeding out of every orisis I see, and all
your organs explode. Yeah, so do you reasonably attack?

Speaker 3 (45:29):
But you're also going to hit So they said the
guy fell from a mile. But you're gonna get what's
terminal velocity, Like you're gonna you're gonna stop speeding up
at some point.

Speaker 12 (45:37):
That's true.

Speaker 26 (45:38):
After about ten seconds of free fall, you're you're a terminal.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
You're as fast as you're possibly gonna go. So it's
gonna take so from a mile, it would take you
less than a minute to hit the ground.

Speaker 12 (45:47):
Oh it would take you.

Speaker 3 (45:48):
Yeah, it would take you a while.

Speaker 26 (45:49):
I I I was at eleven hundred feet ten or
ten thousand feet, just about ten thousand feet and had a.

Speaker 12 (45:57):
Free fall that was sixty five seconds.

Speaker 6 (46:00):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
Okay, somebody, somebody's telling me that ternal velocity for a
skydiver is about one hundred and twenty miles per hour.

Speaker 26 (46:05):
One hundred and twenty seven miles an hour.

Speaker 3 (46:07):
Okay, crazy. So so yeah, so in under a minute
you're going to go that Wow, And it is.

Speaker 10 (46:14):
A long time.

Speaker 26 (46:16):
Is a long time when you're falling and looking at
the ground coming towards you, Right, yeah.

Speaker 10 (46:20):
I guess that's true.

Speaker 3 (46:21):
What are you doing it? Though? And then all of
a sudden you start flying and you're like, oh my god,
I'm an x man. I did I'm Peter goddamn pan.

Speaker 26 (46:28):
I was actually under canopy one day at five thousand
feet for over an hour because the air current the
way the air currents were going. I'm a smaller guy
and my shoot was really big for me. So we
kept riding the currents and actually ended up in New Hampshire.
When we started off in Boston.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
Wow, you just rode the air.

Speaker 26 (46:50):
It was it was we're racing cars on.

Speaker 10 (46:52):
It seems fun.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Wow, look at you.

Speaker 26 (46:55):
Jumping out airplanes is about the best thing you can do.

Speaker 12 (46:57):
It's better than sex.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
What does that feel like? I've done one time. I
never went back. But ex brother likes to do it
all the time.

Speaker 6 (47:04):
Huh did you go candem?

Speaker 24 (47:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 26 (47:07):
See, you got to do it without I never went tandem.
I started jumping in the military, all right.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
But don't you have to start Well, military is different,
but I mean, but but for you know, consumer skydeving,
you got to make like ten tandem jumps before they
let you go solo. Right. Oh, I don't know. I'm
just saying it's more than a couple.

Speaker 7 (47:26):
I don't trust myself, Nope, I want somebody else responsible.

Speaker 26 (47:30):
And we didn't jump, We didn't pull our shoots.

Speaker 3 (47:33):
It just didn't open. Yeah, all right, thank you jumper.

Speaker 12 (47:37):
X, thank you.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
All right? An ad for a Time Waite.

Speaker 27 (47:40):
Book, a guy jumped out of an airplane and fell
thirty thousand feet. His shoot didn't open, and he lived
to tell the story. I would love to hear that story. Yeah,

(48:06):
I heard about that.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
Lake great Robert Schimmel, Joe and Philly.

Speaker 5 (48:14):
Hello, you know what, guys, So I think you guys
may have mentioned this movie in the past, but there's
a documentary about the jumpers off the Golden gate Bridge. Yeah,
it's interviewed people who attempt has commit suicide, jumped up
the bridge and survived, and every single person on that

(48:36):
interview said they had an overwhelmingly overwhelmed feeling of regret
of what they just did as soon as they jumped.

Speaker 3 (48:46):
Oh yeah, I would imagine.

Speaker 5 (48:47):
Imagine, imagine this guy ripping that cord and just having
that full.

Speaker 4 (48:53):
Minute of just sitting at very like, oh man.

Speaker 12 (48:55):
What did I just do?

Speaker 28 (48:57):
And then done?

Speaker 3 (48:59):
And I would imagine that when you hit the ground,
that doesn't necessarily guarantee that you are dead. You could
very well be alive for moments. Yeah yeah, well.

Speaker 5 (49:10):
Yeah, you likely broke every single one of your bones
and internally, and you can't do anything but just lay there,
and you can't even speak.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
I mean, fortunately, you've got probably ten seconds if you
were still leaving alive. Well, in that documentary the bridge,
a lot of the people they'll hit in the impact.
It will knock them out, but they'll die from drowning.

Speaker 12 (49:32):
Yeah, or they'll be paralyzed.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Yeah, yeah, I can't move and they'll just droune.

Speaker 3 (49:36):
Yeah, that's terrible. As if we needed another reason to
know it, Joe, don't jump off a bridge. Okay, my
friends did it? Huh, my friends did it?

Speaker 17 (49:47):
Well, if your friends off a bridge, are you going
to It was fun and it was safe.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
Don't do it, all right? Thank you, Joe. There's Joe
in Philadelphia. That's why that whole Scott Bickle thing. Hans,
who is that the competitive eater? Remember that we've had
on the show.

Speaker 10 (50:05):
And killed himself years?

Speaker 3 (50:06):
Is that what he did? He jumped?

Speaker 10 (50:07):
He jumped off the two seventy one.

Speaker 3 (50:11):
Already.

Speaker 10 (50:12):
I don't know. It was a bridge off a highway.

Speaker 12 (50:16):
Alan.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
My dad went skydiving and his parachute opened wrong and
he had used his back up, and then he went
sky daging again and the same thing happened and he
lived both times. Erica has more of a chance apparently
of dying doing laundry than skydiving.

Speaker 10 (50:31):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 (50:34):
Leave my friend alone, but leave my friend alone.

Speaker 7 (50:37):
Hey, listen, if you see is the mother of my
godson or daughter, stop and leave my friend.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
Nobody's the mother yet. No, are you gonna keep with
the name that she gives it? Are you gonna have
to put your home stamp on it?

Speaker 12 (50:49):
No?

Speaker 7 (50:50):
If she names it child, I'm not gonna be like,
all right, you belonged to me now.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
I'm gonna call you Pip. Name my son Carlos, little Vere.

Speaker 10 (51:03):
He's gonna name my kids Freak and Greer. I don't
know name Pip. You are not allowed to name my
kid that Pip.

Speaker 3 (51:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (51:12):
No, I wouldn't rename that. That's so rude, like rename
someone's child.

Speaker 3 (51:16):
Like.

Speaker 7 (51:16):
I feel like, if the child's adopted, and you know
you're adopting a child, if the kid is old enough
to know what its name is, you should not change
the name.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
That's wrong. I don't think that happens very often. People
do do that.

Speaker 7 (51:30):
People adopt a child and it's like it's a baby. No,
if the kid's like six or seven, that's old enough
to know the child's name.

Speaker 3 (51:37):
That you paid for it. You want to put your
own stamp on it, you really do. You want to
make it your own. You want to trick out that kid,
You want to customize it, however you use your kid
pip your kid. Hey, Eric, it's a kid name. What's
going on? Hey?

Speaker 2 (51:54):
I was just thinking about something I was reading about
in history.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (51:59):
I believe it was a little after like the Depression era,
but a woman.

Speaker 16 (52:03):
Jumped off the Empire State Building and it was like
it was like a historic moment in photography.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
Because like she fell from the building and she landed.

Speaker 12 (52:12):
On a car, and she was like completely intact, and.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
It almost looked like she was laying on satin the
way the metal kind of crushed around her, and.

Speaker 12 (52:21):
She was like perfect, She was intact perfectly.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
And like the remark was that.

Speaker 12 (52:27):
She looked peaceful, like she just.

Speaker 16 (52:29):
Fell asleep on a car that happened to be shaped
in her teapose.

Speaker 3 (52:34):
Right, Well, because you figure, I mean the roof of
a car or the hood of a car is going
to have more give than the ground would. Yeah, and
the Empire stabilding is not a mile up?

Speaker 2 (52:45):
Well, right, But the other thing too, is there a
lot of women.

Speaker 3 (52:48):
When the stock market crashed in the twenties, there were
a lot of people jumping out of windows.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
That there was a documentary on the human but it
was a series actually, in like twenty eleven, this guy.

Speaker 16 (53:00):
Got He was in a trailer. There was a tornado
and the tornado ripped the top off his trailer, sucked
him right out into the sky and on his way
up he hit his head, became unconscious, got sucked up
right in the clouds, and then when the tornado dissipated
he fell back to earth.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
That guy got sucked up.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Yeah, I can learning an online magician.

Speaker 12 (53:26):
The are here.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
The arn Kirk Show on.

Speaker 10 (53:39):
M MS.

Speaker 3 (53:49):
Number text in here three five one ninety two. Plenty
of things to look at at alancoxshow dot com. The
dude who's strapped to go thro to his forehead and
then dove in a shark probably fake, but who cares?
Really Still, if you need a mental health break, it's
there some new submissions in the cl Evage gallery up there,

(54:11):
So ladies feel free to jump on that bandwagon. It
is really doing the Lord's work if you believe in
that kind of thing. And comedian Kevin Pollock is going
to join us today. I'm a big fan. We probably
all are. He's one of the heavies. First time he's
been on the show because the last handful of times

(54:32):
he's been booked at Hilarities, where he'll be this weekend,
he's had to cancel. Guy does a lot of movies.
He's very busy, so, as luck would have it, literally
the last two or three times he's been booked in
the show, he's canceled coming to town, so we'll have
him on for the first time. We're gonna play Winery
or Rehab a little bit later on at six o'clock
and Tribe game tonight. They lost both games to the

(54:57):
Royals four to one yesterday. They're in boss tonight's at
the seven to ten first pitch. You will hear every
single inning here on WMMS, your FM flagship station for
the Cleveland Indians. Very excited too. They seem to be
coming faster and furiouser by the minute. We've got a

(55:19):
brand new sponsor on the show. Correct, do you need
music for this? You're gonna give me something to little
people who want to spend there a little fun. It's
a pretty fun company funds on the KAIM We find
you something here and Bill will read their live copy
for us.

Speaker 10 (55:34):
Nice.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
All right.

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Speaker 3 (55:53):
I guess they're not secret compartments. They're just regular storage
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Speaker 12 (56:04):
Well?

Speaker 3 (56:04):
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Speaker 10 (56:48):
Pretty fun company.

Speaker 12 (56:49):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
Well, thank you for being part of the Ellencox Show
family and he really is like family, and congratulations to
all of us. I wonder if pete O files what's
the name of the pete O files? What pete O files?
Unmarked vehicle and pouring Unmarked Vehicle Emporium, right, is that

(57:16):
what they found that Lakewood High School band director in.
They find him in one of those. I wouldn't be
surprised to know he wasn't when they had all over
the country. And they probably have to keep them anonymous.
Anonymous should like to keep everything very like their cars. Sure, unmarked, Yeah, gotcha? Vehicles?

Speaker 4 (57:34):
Uh huh.

Speaker 3 (57:34):
They don't like to call them cars very much like
buying a firearm. We don't want to know who has them, right,
Sure you can't ask those kinds of questions.

Speaker 17 (57:41):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
The band director over at Lakewood High School, they caught
him in the parking lot at night with a sixteen
year old male student in the back seat, and a right,
why are you on school grounds? You make it so
much worse. You're going to bang this.

Speaker 22 (58:00):
You can't say, Hey, let's meet at this park over here,
or let's go someplace a little more discreet the parking lot.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
By the way, who knew high schools still had band directors?
What I thought they chopped that off of all of
the public school's budgets. It's one time in band camp. Yeah,
I had sex with the teacher in the backseat of
his car. I wonder if from here on out, Nathan
Harris will be referred to as the bang director every

(58:33):
Day's band camp? On what every day's band camp? When
you're in the Lakewood band Oh god. Nathan Harris, who
was twenty seven, arrested in charge with sexual battery in
the back seat with a sixteen year old student. A
ranger in the I thought this was on. I thought

(58:53):
this was at the school. They caught him. They were
in the Rocky River reservation to the Cleveland Metro Parks.
Somebody was I was watching one of the local affiliates
doing a story this morning, and they said that they
were at the school parking lot. So they're the parking
lot of the Rocky River Reservation. A ranger walks by.
He's a parked car with two people in the backseat
having sex. So mister Harris doing house calls somebody who

(59:19):
really wanted to go over their charts. Does mister Harris
not have an apartment? Mister Harris, for all we know,
could be married. I don't know. Just because you're just
because you're a gay man doesn't mean you're not married.
He was young though, twenty seven though twenty seven. Yeah,
and again, you know, not like it was a fifth grader,
but a minor, a sixteen year old kid. And then

(59:42):
they always say, oh, they'll have counseling for the other students.
You know what counseling is code for we want other
students to come in so we can find out if
this kid was the only one he was banging, who
else is getting it. This is not for the students.
This is for the administration so they can cover their ass.
District encourages students to stop any contact with Harris. I

(01:00:04):
like that, all right, you guys listen, I know you
thought he was real cute and he was fun. And
they talked to students on condition of anonymity. So they
shoot him from the chest down on TV and they go,
you know, I sometimes he get a little mad, but
I'm he was nice. I don't he do anything like that.
It's weird that the teacher got an A. Usually the

(01:00:26):
student's the one that gets the great Yeah he got
an A and hio. But okay, so yeah over in
Lakewood High School and kids are so like detached these days,
they're probably like, yeah, didn't shoot us. Yeah, well he
reportedly he did fire off a couple of shots. Oh yeah,

(01:00:47):
but they were non lethal. They were non lethal and
they were just warning shots. Yeah, so there. Yeah, whatever,
I don't know this guy's backstory. Don't really care these teachers.
It really is a golden age of banging adults. If
you are a horny, randy high school student, and by

(01:01:08):
that I mean any high school student, any male high
school student. That it's usually women. This guy not okay,
gay dude, he's running band. Fine, And people always go,
why do they vet these teachers better? There's only so
much you can learn about a person. You never you
can be in a lifelong relationship with someone. You could

(01:01:30):
be married to somebody for thirty years and then you
find out upon their death they've got skulls in the freezer.
You get that family across the country that the time.

Speaker 17 (01:01:40):
Even if there are even like the people that have
just become a teacher, they've never been put in that
position before. They never Yeah, they've never been tempted with
that before.

Speaker 3 (01:01:52):
But still, I listen, everybody's tempted to do something, but acting.

Speaker 10 (01:01:58):
Yeah, it's definitely different thing.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
I mean, if you're gonna go listen, you're trying to
find it out of the way place. Right, you're a
twenty seven year old guy. You should know the parks
have people who patrol the parks. I know this from
personal experience. I try to get laid in a park
when I was in high school. Cop. I've told the story,
Cop coming up rapping on the window. Yep, we're both

(01:02:20):
in almost completely undressed. That would have been the first
time I got laid backseat of my dad's Gold Ltd.
Right bench seat up front, big like a picnic table
in back and fogging up the windows. Right, we're in
the nether regional windnesses. It's the worst place to go.

Speaker 22 (01:02:39):
It's the worst place to go because there is always
a every night. I'm sure cops are busting people buddy
baking out and doing stuff in there, because I had
the same thing the back of our town and country.

Speaker 3 (01:02:50):
Yeah, are busted. Yep, you were trying to get in
her town and country, right and again city, I slipped
it in. When you're a couple of high.

Speaker 17 (01:03:04):
School kids, you're not gonna get busted.

Speaker 3 (01:03:10):
They're gonna they may call your parents something like that, right,
and you're in a bust. Well no, I didn't even
get a chance to do it, even do anything. That's
why after after I got busted at one time, like
they didn't call my parents or anything. But I I
changed up my strategy and started taking them to developments
with like I work with my dad during the day
and then places that your dad was building, right but.

Speaker 22 (01:03:32):
At night, like there was no more there's no houses yet,
and there's they're like basically abandoned lives.

Speaker 3 (01:03:40):
Yeah, but don't they have people that give it the
once over, make sure nobody's stealing copper piping or well,
these are like like the brand new no, no, no,
they're not even built yet, Like it's just basements, like
it's it's a land and then like they're digging the basement.
So I'd go there and a banger in a dirty

(01:04:00):
but no, no, we just parked there and then you'd
be alone. Maybe baby, want to go into an unfinished
basement in a house that hasn't even been built yet.

Speaker 22 (01:04:08):
Oh, we just parked there and have the car there
and get it on in the back seat, and then.

Speaker 3 (01:04:15):
U Because the cop would always want what type of
car was it? That was a town of country? No, no,
that was not I was using the Buick Regal. Then oh,
the cop would always try to give you a lesson.
He'd take me out and he goes, I'll give you
a second to get your pants on. I'd stand there
and he go, uh, what if it wasn't me? What
if it was somebody else out here? To do you

(01:04:36):
guys some harm?

Speaker 11 (01:04:37):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
What if somebody camp in the window? What do you?
And of course I'm a smart ass, I go, I'd
probably run. Oh you you couldn't outrun?

Speaker 11 (01:04:44):
Go?

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
Yeah, I'm on the track team. I probably could. What
about her? She's pretty fast too, not her dad. So
but if you're a twenty seven year old guy, what
are you going to the park? Yeah, you should know better.
You're him and two dudes he.

Speaker 4 (01:05:01):
Hey, Alan, how are you hey?

Speaker 12 (01:05:04):
Back in the day, late eighties.

Speaker 3 (01:05:06):
I don't know.

Speaker 29 (01:05:07):
You want me to mention the school or not. I
went to a high school in Akron where I remember,
won't mention his name, mister X. Hey, what happened to
mister X?

Speaker 12 (01:05:16):
That cool band.

Speaker 29 (01:05:17):
Leader we've had for so many years because I had
friends in the band. It's like, whatever happened that guy?
He was here one day and gone the next. And
he's like, oh, didn't you hear It's like he knocked
up one of his students. It's like, you're kidding me, right,
And they go, oh no, and they mentioned, oh yeah,
let's color Betty. It's like, oh yeah, Betty. That was
his girlfriend for a while, so we all knew it.
She used to sit on his lap all the time.
That's like you think it was him? It's like, yeah,

(01:05:38):
And apparently the guy took early retirement. You know, he
had like, you know, another I don't know, five or
so years before you know, he turned sixty five and
all a sudden, no, gee, mister mister X is no
longer with that.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
But he was that old, a sixty year old guy.

Speaker 30 (01:05:56):
He was.

Speaker 29 (01:05:57):
I don't know his exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:05:58):
He wasn't that old.

Speaker 29 (01:05:59):
Girl was like somewhere between sixteen and eighteen, and he
was he was well into his fifties.

Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
I would say a high school girl wanted to get
it on with a fifty year old dude. Wow, you guys.

Speaker 29 (01:06:12):
Think she had no father looking, but he wasn't wasn't
no brand pitt.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
Let's put it head game. He had to have something
to work his magic on. An Okay, thank you, ram
Is Wendy.

Speaker 17 (01:06:23):
What mister Babcock at my unfortunate name, mister Babcock In
high school.

Speaker 10 (01:06:31):
He would always sit all the.

Speaker 17 (01:06:33):
The cheerleaders and the dancers, all the girls in the
front row of his class. I had him for study
hall and all the boys would be in the back.
And uh, turns out like the year I graduated, that
summer he was caught with some sixteen year old and
the school parking lot.

Speaker 10 (01:06:52):
In the school parking Lie, they're gonna go somewhere.

Speaker 3 (01:06:55):
Yeah, they're gonna find out. Obviously when they talked to
this kid, how many times this happened? The probably he
is unlikely that was the first time it happened. But
you know, I don't know if there were any red flags. Parents, parents,
see the kid he's coming home pretty frequently being unable
to walk that kind of stuff. He's limping.

Speaker 17 (01:07:11):
I wanted to bang one of my teachers, but he
was on a straight and narrow you wouldn't even do
it on the d L. Mister Poulman name Cock Pollman. Yeah,
high school.

Speaker 10 (01:07:24):
Mister Poulman. He was hot. We all loved him.

Speaker 17 (01:07:27):
All the girls had huge crushes on him. But he
was he was super young. He was just a brand
new teacher, and he was like the coach of the
boys basketball team.

Speaker 3 (01:07:37):
Yeah, every super sold couple dudes like that.

Speaker 17 (01:07:39):
But he was very I mean god, I don't even
think he thought of anything like that. Definitely straight and narrow,
but we would always try to flirt with them and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:07:47):
Well, I think if you're a teacher at a high
school and there's a lot of there's going to be
a lot of teenage girls around, I think you just
have to get your mind right tunnel vision. There's especially
public school. I went to Catholic school where the girls
in uniforms you can't see anything knee high socks, skirts
a couple of inches above that. Yeah, but the west
that you know, those girls are trying to get attention elsewhere,

(01:08:09):
so they're going to be a little more forward. I
think the how does the Catholic girls They not have
a reputation for being yeahvocative, whatever you can, but I
didn't see a lot of it with teachers. I mean, yeah, Catholics.
If you want to get lad you find a Catholic
school girl.

Speaker 17 (01:08:26):
But the outfits, we'd get away with wearing because being
on the dance team or the cheerleading team, they would
let you alter your skirt however you want it, even
if it was past, you know, higher than the regulation
of the fingertips. You could just so we would get
so excited for game days because our skirts would be
so damn short.

Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
And then that's our fault, right, yeah, exactly. The teachers
are like, hey, I can smell your piercing. Maybe your
skirt is too short. Stop perpetuating your rape culture all
over us. Well yeah, hey, Mike, So I'm.

Speaker 6 (01:09:00):
Really thinking this guy should have done this at his
house because he could have taught her out of the
rusty trombone while he was at it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:07):
Was guy the rusty Trombone. Rick on Twitter said the
teacher got the aid, but the student got the knee.
You know what ruined lives are hilarious? They had sex?

(01:09:28):
Oh they had sex. Oh god, well there's nothing like
a you know, a guy in uniform. And those those
band uniforms are pretty sexy. Oh yeah, with the big
hat and the strap underneath. Sure. Hey Adam, Hey, hell
go going on?

Speaker 28 (01:09:47):
You were talking about where people were having sets and
parking lot the teenagers, And I don't know how it
took me one time getting taught almost doing something, so
like spend an evening with my girlfriend at the time
working around for different parking lots that had long, long
driveways in the metro parks, and we ultimately found one
in the Brexchviel Reservation. So whenever anyone ever pulled in

(01:10:09):
that parking lot, we had more than enough time to
get things covered up and make it look like we
were doing anything other than what we wanted to be
doing at that time. And I don't know how these
kids nowadays, like there's an old patrol and everything, but
sound plenty of places when I was at the kid
to not get taught.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
Yeah, I guess so. I mean maybe kids are just
they're brazen. They're brazen, they don't care because frankly, there's
no downside if you're a kid who's banging a teacher.
There's only downside for the teacher. Teacher gets fired, they
go to jail the student. I was a victim. Missus
Smith kept inviting me over to her house. I thought

(01:10:50):
she just wanted to study. Thought she was gonna help you,
help me with my calculus. Yeah, I thought she was
helping me with my SAT prep course. And then she
sat on my friend. I can't stop. I'm sorry, I
can't stop. It's no rife within nuendo. I apologize. I
simply can't help myself. Hey, Katie, I was going, what's up? Oh, solid, I.

Speaker 7 (01:11:20):
Saw the comment. When I was in school.

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
When I was a student, we had two teachers get
fired for having an appropriate relationship with students.

Speaker 7 (01:11:28):
And then, I think just last year or the year before, another.

Speaker 5 (01:11:32):
Teacher who was I think like fifty or sixty real old,
and he was colleg no attractiveness whatsoever.

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
He was having an ongoing relationship without text messages, tons
of prove of them, like constantly going to.

Speaker 10 (01:11:45):
Each other's houses with a student.

Speaker 23 (01:11:47):
It was disgusting.

Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
Yeah, and she was like seventeen, I think, or sixteen.
So these are like girls. These are these are kids
that like aren't getting laid with their peers. I mean,
even if you're obviously I can come up with nobody
can appeer inside the mind of a teenage girl and
make any sense of it. But still there's got to
be like this guy. It's clearly daddy stuff. You know,

(01:12:08):
this guy's fifty. Yes, it has to be. Yeah, but
you kept your nose clean, right, Katie?

Speaker 10 (01:12:14):
Of course?

Speaker 3 (01:12:15):
All right, good for you, baby, all right, thank you,
very good for you. Congratulations, Stacey. Too bad you keep
the baby and get those stretch marks up for adoption.
Teenage pregnancy blood who been ruined bodies? Right, Let that
be a lesson to you kids.

Speaker 4 (01:12:35):
Hey Bill, Hello, show, how's everybody doing.

Speaker 3 (01:12:38):
What's up? Billy?

Speaker 2 (01:12:40):
Hey?

Speaker 28 (01:12:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:12:41):
I got a story, and I could add a second
one my principal when I graduated the next year. After that,
it was low core right around here. Southegoo Lennurst. He
got busted for having cheerleaders in his house. I think
his wife knew about the camera and he was sending
them into a room to change for like a pool party,

(01:13:02):
and someone found the camera, and you know, he got
arrested and thrown in prison, and I don't know what
happened to him, but.

Speaker 3 (01:13:09):
His wife was complicit in the whole thing.

Speaker 4 (01:13:12):
Yeah, if I remember correctly. Yeah, the wife was mentioned
in the news article. She was aware of the camera
or something like that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:13:18):
The only thing freakier than dudes doing this stuff are
the couples that do this stuff. Freaky freaky couples. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:13:24):
And then at the same high school, I re mean
some older teachers like great, you know, silver haired people.
The guy was cheating on his wife and then they
got divorced. They ended up marrying the other teacher that
he was having enough fair with. And then a side story.
I was in junior high school, totally off the wall story,

(01:13:44):
but I stole the cigarettes of the math teacher and
boy did he get mad.

Speaker 28 (01:13:48):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:13:49):
Yeah, he's a little bag, a paper bag in the
back of the room, and I grabbed the bag one
day and just left with it. Man, he was fired up.

Speaker 3 (01:13:57):
Betty was he took his smokes.

Speaker 11 (01:13:58):
Bill.

Speaker 3 (01:13:59):
I know, you don't grab a man squares. He's got
a level life. Did those cheerleader videotapes ever show up
like on the black market or anything with the ever
underground tapes that surfaced.

Speaker 29 (01:14:10):
Oh dude, I have no idea.

Speaker 3 (01:14:11):
Probably not no, okay, thank you.

Speaker 14 (01:14:13):
Bill, love you, but don'ta.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
That is sage advice. All right, let me break here. Yes,
I just have the tea. So oh yeah, what's coming up?
Coming up next is string cheese making kids.

Speaker 13 (01:14:33):
Gay Cox shows Cleveland authors to write what you know,
which is why he remains unpublished.

Speaker 10 (01:14:52):
How can you know nothing about anything?

Speaker 13 (01:14:54):
Alan Cox was absolutely nothing?

Speaker 3 (01:14:57):
One w m ms Joe Cooy. Hello, Alan, you have
an aged your face. I haven't seen you either Asian
in your family?

Speaker 31 (01:15:07):
You think so that that skin? There's not a wrinkle
on your face. I don't get it.

Speaker 3 (01:15:10):
What is the Asian equivalent of black? Don't crack? My
mom is seventy, she looks twenty three. Is that what
it is? I'm not even joking. Yeah, just not no
wrinkles on her face. No, nothing but you.

Speaker 31 (01:15:20):
And then she'll turn into like a ninja turtle in
a couple of years, Like is what it is?

Speaker 3 (01:15:24):
It will just fall apart to hold and wise pretty
soon hits it hits hard, but yeah, yeah, it hits
real hard.

Speaker 11 (01:15:29):
Joke.

Speaker 3 (01:15:30):
I made your break bas for you. Yeah, I have
not an age. Yeah, whatever you need to know, I
have the advice for you do or not do? There
is no try. Your mom becomes Yoda after a while.
That is a bad book from my hand. Okay, and
you will get the key to lie. Yeah, because the
oldest person in the world is always Asian sixt Like,

(01:15:54):
how did you do it?

Speaker 17 (01:15:54):
Sen?

Speaker 3 (01:15:55):
Say? You know cigars and yogurt. He's only really they
always think hot tea, hot tea. Hot tea cleanses my body.
I drink hot tea every morning. Maybe that's what it is.
I'm not a coffee guy. I'm a green tea guy.
Maybe that's what it is. Yeah, you look very young,
but you and I are about the same age, and
you look you look the same too. Now I got
old man fixed because I lost thirty five pounds.

Speaker 10 (01:16:13):
He did really skinny.

Speaker 31 (01:16:15):
Yeah, I lost thirty five pounds. Wow, what did you
like fifteen? Back on fifteen? On my face right, the
craziest diet. No rice, no, no coke or pepsi because
I was addicted to coke and pepsi on the road
and kill you fashion. Yeah man, I just swearing out.
And then I have this bag that I punched at home,
and I punch I punched I swear I.

Speaker 3 (01:16:37):
Punched the bag.

Speaker 22 (01:16:38):
Yeah when you oh, you give this guy a corduroy
Cokes and it's over.

Speaker 3 (01:16:43):
He can do anything he can. Yeah, this man's good.
We all look as young as could be. We all
look great. I would have been here earlier. I got
here right at four nineteen. Yeah, because you guys are
blowing up brit A Bridge Saturday morning. The old Innerbeltridge
could splun up, but you but you built a bridge
to blow up a bridge. That's what they do in
Cleveland because they built the casino and they wanted an

(01:17:05):
easier way to get people into the casino. That's right,
that's the sole reason for doing that. I went into
that Male tower citting yeah you got you gotta do
a quotes when you say yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 31 (01:17:16):
Yeah, how was it? I was James. The demographic was nice.
No Asians there for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
Yeah right, it's like that old But you got to
the east Side.

Speaker 31 (01:17:27):
Well yeah, that that's how I want a You go
to the east side to go to uh the far
east side.

Speaker 3 (01:17:34):
Welcome to shoest We just called the oriental side.

Speaker 31 (01:17:37):
Oh that is the most racist thing you could ever say.
I could say side after Oriental come into the oriental side. Yeah,
is oriental just the flavoring or what is it?

Speaker 3 (01:17:53):
I don't even know what it is. You know what Asian?
And I don't even know why.

Speaker 31 (01:17:56):
I'm offended that someone says oriental. I never thought it
was My favorite ramen is oriental flavoring. Yeah, it says
oriental and then it says kind of racist flavoring, kind
of racist, but you might like it.

Speaker 3 (01:18:11):
But the as pc AS people are they know what
it is. I'm surprised that the grocery stores still say
oriental foods. Yeah, they'll still say that oriental section Asians
they welcome to the orient right. Yeah, but they say
that and they get offended. But why is it offensive
because you're white, because you have a red beard? Because

(01:18:34):
we said it.

Speaker 17 (01:18:34):
I thought oriental was how you would describe someone where
you couldn't figure out exactly which Asian Asian?

Speaker 3 (01:18:46):
Well, yeah, oriental. I thought oriental was a cool ball
you hang on a tree, That's I would always say
at school, we hung a bunch of Orientals on the tree,
and my teacher would be like, what I thought it
was oriental as a rug as a person, exactly.

Speaker 10 (01:19:02):
An oriental rock.

Speaker 3 (01:19:03):
Yeah, you went to college, Joe Koy, Right, did you
get angry at orientation?

Speaker 31 (01:19:08):
I hated orientation so racist, especially when the white guy goes, well,
come to orientation.

Speaker 3 (01:19:14):
Right, I'm looking at ju Jo. Yeah, were welcome to school?

Speaker 13 (01:19:19):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:19:19):
Where did you go again, as U or where'd you go? Unlv? UNLV?
I was close for like for like like three whatever.
The cup of coffee. Yeah yeah, semesters. Yeah, I quit
so quick. Yeah.

Speaker 31 (01:19:31):
I knew I had to quit when I would taking
elementary algebra and that's not I'm not even lying.

Speaker 3 (01:19:35):
Yeah, but I was that way too. I think I'm
a pretty sharp guy. Math was never my bag. So,
like in college, I was lucky to get through CALC.
I was like, oh god, everybody, did you complete college?
Oh yeah, yeah, I went. Was a disgrace to the family,
I think you and I I think it's worked out
for you though, Oh very well, very much so here
I went to an expensive four year university. Look at
me now, Jokoy successful. Oh yeah, because of your degree.

(01:19:58):
You're the only DJ I know that has this degree
behind his workstation. I have it, like right behind you,
a degree, except I got two. I don't use either
of them in the office. No, he's a joke. He's
a comedian.

Speaker 31 (01:20:14):
Erica Lauren my mom. My mom was so pissed, but
then she has a radio show. My mom is a
DJ on the weekend Saturdays where twelve thirty eight am
twelve thirty a m k la V DJ josephinees her name,
and I paid for the radio spot, Like it's an
hour that she rents. Yeah, and I paid for it, right,
So I paid for the radio time. She does it

(01:20:34):
once a week. It comes out to like I don't know,
like fifteen hundred a month that I pay. And then
she wanted me to sponsor some kid for school in
college for like a semester or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:20:43):
So I paid for it.

Speaker 31 (01:20:44):
The kid wins, she brings me into to you know,
have the kid fake me online and she goes like this.
She goes, Joseph, this is not the kid that won
the scholarship that you provided. And I just want you
to know Joset when he gave his acceptance speech, the
things he was saying, Joseph, the only thing I could
think to myself is only if my son stayed in college.

Speaker 3 (01:21:07):
She said that on the air, that you're paid for
that I paid for with your comedy career. I go, Mom,
I'm saying to go to college, but I make enough
money so I can pay for this fool to go
to college. But that just go. That should underscore how
important school still is to immigrants. That's very true. That
is the sign that you have succeeded as an American

(01:21:27):
American whatever is alan I wouldn't. That is the best
way to say that. I'm glad you got that, because it's.

Speaker 31 (01:21:33):
So important to age, not just Asians, that anyone that
comes to this country, your kids have to go to
college because not only is it success for the kids,
but then they feel as parents that they've made it well.

Speaker 3 (01:21:43):
And it's very line that it's very linear because if
you are an American already here whatever, your dad might
own something. If you're an immigrant, you come, you start
at the bottom, school, work, death, whatever, it's it's a
much more so. It's a big deal. It's a big
deal for my mom because I get it.

Speaker 31 (01:21:58):
She still doesn't understand that I'm loaded, right, because she's
looking at things from the care This was borrowed five
hundred dollars.

Speaker 3 (01:22:07):
This is just water.

Speaker 31 (01:22:09):
I borrowed five hundred dollars. Just I'm sending some went
to school. This is her wool. I would borrow from
you and send you to school.

Speaker 3 (01:22:16):
She's sending people by proxy because you didn't.

Speaker 22 (01:22:18):
Go long hundreds of thousands, made millions of fans. She's
thinking of the billions of Asians that are completely disappointed
in Yeah, so that's.

Speaker 3 (01:22:26):
The everyone and China. Josephe hates you. All of the
Orientals hate but you're Filipino, right, yeah, yeah, You're not
like Chinese. Now, yeah, unlike the Mexicans of the Asians.
Is that what it is? My only connection to the
Philippines or Southeast Asia is mister Bill Squire because he
has so many anecdotes from living there. Oh yeah, yeah,

(01:22:47):
more missionary. You speak up, God, I totally forgot.

Speaker 11 (01:22:53):
What.

Speaker 3 (01:22:53):
Yeah, because you were a Mormon at one.

Speaker 22 (01:22:55):
I was a moremon at one. The corduroy jacket, well
that is not this is indirect.

Speaker 3 (01:23:01):
The magic underpants he always wears on the show. Those
not magic after all. He's so mad right now, No,
I'm not. I'm glad, Superman, are you at No? No, no,
they kicked me out when I started, uh being a
little fun, Yeah, having a little too good at time
with the Filipinas with the locals. Yeah, no, Alan, jolly b.

Speaker 31 (01:23:23):
And he really knows that. Oh yeah, this guy is
Filipino to the to the bone. Somebody texted me, isn't
Oriental the art of paper folding?

Speaker 3 (01:23:32):
I totally forget.

Speaker 17 (01:23:33):
It's also to the website where you can get cheap
knickknacks Oriental training.

Speaker 3 (01:23:38):
Yes, yeah, you know what else?

Speaker 31 (01:23:39):
Oriental is the first train station Oriental Express, the orient Express,
like well, Oriental.

Speaker 3 (01:23:46):
Express, okay, yeah, it was just a train. I thought
that was made up. I thought it was like an
I get a Christie book. I didn't realize it was
a real thing. Wasn't that computer game The Oriental Trail?
The crazy? Right now? I love or talking about this
right now? No, no, it's all good. Yeah. Is that
your girl in there by the way?

Speaker 11 (01:24:07):
Ye?

Speaker 3 (01:24:07):
Yeah, what's her name? Cage? Pardon me, Caged? I thought
her name was Cage Stir, Like, that's a great name.
It's like a transformer. Alyssa, Alyssa. Okay, she's lovely, good
eyes by the way, how so, no, just you've seen
that past everything? Oh yeah, well you know, I'm ex
ray vision bro. Alan, You're amazing. You've got your Dodger's
cap on. Yes, they're in town this weekend, aren't they?

(01:24:28):
The Yankees? Yankees, I'm sorry Yankees. I was just in
l a Angele and I thought you were from Cravend.
I know, I'm from Chicago. I just got back from
a week in La Yeah. I had a fantastic time.
I was there. Have you been home for a while.

Speaker 6 (01:24:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:24:41):
Yeah, I was there at Manhattan Beach for that shark attack.
Were you there? Yeah? And my kids were there last night.
My son was there with his cousins. Yeah. Hold your
kid now, he's eleven eleven, Yeah, my son just turned thirteen.

Speaker 31 (01:24:52):
Really, my son just got out of the pool, looked
at my girlfriend and I and goes, this pubic hare
is making everything it.

Speaker 3 (01:24:59):
Sold, making me thirsty, and then dives back in the pool.
That was regular conversation. Yeah, And I had no idea
you had a pubic hair, And he said pubic hair,
just one, this pubic hair.

Speaker 31 (01:25:10):
Yeah, this pubic hair is tickling my butt cheek even
when we have a nice day.

Speaker 3 (01:25:14):
It's right, when we say pubic hair, we mean it
in the plural. He literally means one pewtercare right, So
annoying dad. Yeah, he's tickling me in inappropriate places. Now
check out this cannon ball. That's where his pubic hair
is on his cannon ball. Does Alyssa get along with
your son? Yes, you kind of have to. Yeah. Yeah,

(01:25:35):
it's like he plays then the nice lady. Yeah. How
long have YouTube been together? I'd say a year and
a half. You're gonna get hitched? Yeah, I think so?
Are you really? Yeah? Now you have a ring shopping
in Cleveland. You had a baby mama, or you were
married before baby mama. Okay, so you know I was
married before. It's my baby moment. So your son's mom
was your wife? Yes, okay, gotcha. You're really good at

(01:25:56):
putting this stuff together out. I'm a divorce guy with
two kids. Bro, that's the only math I can do. Alimony. Yeah. No,
But there's a lot of guys who they don't go
down the aisle at all until kind of later they
kind of got the career going to do it well,
whereas other people go, I've got to get married now,
you know whatever.

Speaker 31 (01:26:14):
The actual X got it, she's got a good I
take care of her well, there's no problems on that end.

Speaker 3 (01:26:19):
Just but the when I was when I got a
divorce from her.

Speaker 31 (01:26:21):
I was writing at norths from Ray, So just imagine
how much the court, you know, to pay for child
support you were working at. I hope your kid can
survive off of this lady forty fifty.

Speaker 3 (01:26:36):
Yeah, that's funny, though. There's like dudes with a bunch
of kids. There was a story a couple years ago
this guy in Tennessee. You had like thirteen kids, and
each one of the women wanted child support, and the
judge's like, all right, you're each gonna get like thirty
six dollars a month because he got didn't make any money.
But I give her.

Speaker 31 (01:26:49):
I give her whatever she wants, you know, I increased
it myself. All that good for you?

Speaker 3 (01:26:54):
Oh yeah, Yeah, she's got a great Yeah, that's it.
Where does she live? Got her a car? You did? Yeah?
Does the girlfriend? Does that bother her?

Speaker 26 (01:27:03):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:27:04):
Bother, She's got a boyfriend. Plus, it's like I take
good care of her. Yeah, a lot of times. There's
so happy when she sees Alyssa. He's great. Yeah, And
Alyssa's looking it's like she's looking into the future. Oh,
once we get divorced, it's gonna be No, she's not
like that she's great. Lista's great. So there's a lot

(01:27:25):
of bands who will take their families on the road.
It's probably easier to have your girl with you. Yeah,
it's just easier. And it's an insurance policy. I don't
know what kind of dude you are. I think you're
a stand up guy.

Speaker 12 (01:27:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 31 (01:27:35):
Yeah, that's a play on words. But I love it.
But it doesn't crack man.

Speaker 3 (01:27:43):
But I think it's also an insurance thing where a
guy goes, hey, my girl's here, not gonna get any trouble. Yeah,
nothing like that's gonna happen, right of course on my
support system. That's good.

Speaker 31 (01:27:52):
Actually, yes, And nothing's gonna happen anyway, right, But especially.

Speaker 17 (01:27:57):
He's looking through the glass and he said.

Speaker 3 (01:27:59):
Special when you come to Cleveland, Sin City.

Speaker 31 (01:28:05):
Depends on the license plate. Welcome to Cleveland, Home of
the Hookups.

Speaker 3 (01:28:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 31 (01:28:12):
I'm getting ready to do my hour, especially again, I'm
doing my This is my third one for coming.

Speaker 3 (01:28:16):
Last time you were here, I think you said you
were working it out.

Speaker 31 (01:28:19):
I was working it, just working it out. When is
it gonna premiere? We're getting ready to shoot it by
the end of this year.

Speaker 3 (01:28:24):
We haven't got it yet. No, oh, okay, but it's
gonna be good. It's so funny. Joe Cooy colon oriental.
I was thinking about calling it oriental. Yeah, oriental. Yeah.
We got by the way the last time you were here.
About two weeks later, I got a slip in my
box saying, hey, you got to go to this ups

(01:28:46):
uh distribution center because there's a package here for you.
And I get there and there's this huge package and
it's all this Joe Coy merch and it was so
nice of you to do that. It was unsolicited. It's
full like shirts and CDs and d there something everyone
in my family so happy. Jacket in there. It's got

(01:29:10):
your face. And then it says Joseph, Yeah, but that's
a very smart thing to do.

Speaker 12 (01:29:15):
You.

Speaker 3 (01:29:15):
I think you and Gabriel Iglesias are like the kings
of merch.

Speaker 17 (01:29:18):
Yeah, La Giro sent you that bottle of something.

Speaker 3 (01:29:22):
Right, Natasha Lazearro sent me a bottle of champagne. And
you know what I found out my week in La
we were staying with a buddy of mine that I've
known forever, went to high school together. Natasha Lazaro was
in my she went to my high school. She was
a year behind me in Chicago. That's crazy.

Speaker 10 (01:29:40):
I didn't know that until now.

Speaker 3 (01:29:41):
He goes, you ever run into Natasha lazierero I go, yeah,
I see her a couple of times a year. And
he goes, yeah, his sister, my friend's sister who is
a year behind us, still friends in Natasha And I
go how, He's like, well, she was a class behind us.
He I go, yeah, but she went to and I
named this other school because no, no, no. He brings the yearbook.
He brings my senior yearbook and she's in there in
the junior class. She got like the eighty nine cunchy.

(01:30:05):
So next time she's in I'm bringing the yearbook. That's
so cool.

Speaker 22 (01:30:08):
It's crazy. And I actually banged one of Jokoy's cousins.
And when I was in the Philippines, yea like small world.

Speaker 3 (01:30:14):
Mary, she's a nurse. Now they're nurses. At least they
know a lot of the nursing skills. Yes, what a
nice guy I am though, right with the bag of swag,
you're a very one in the bag of swag. It
was a box of swag.

Speaker 24 (01:30:28):
Unbelievable.

Speaker 3 (01:30:28):
Yeah, look at you. You're a humanitarian. Yes, you are
magnanimous to a fault. Right, you're a hell of a boyfriend.
I was talking to her in the hallway. She said,
you're a wildcat in the sack. Yeah, I am good
for you. Ridiculous, absolutely, no pun intended. You're You're not
going to rest on your just being funny, Laurels, No, no,
you can't do that. So many physical things that I

(01:30:50):
have to about. Yes, indeed, you're a specimen I am.
I'm going to use the word specimen.

Speaker 27 (01:30:55):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (01:30:56):
Yeah. Germans like to like look at me and figure
out what I am. What I am? Yeah, they say,
if we ever that gene and make clones of me,
extract your your your essence, yeah, they go, if we
ever get that Master Race thing up and running again,
army be oriental for sure.

Speaker 17 (01:31:13):
That's all I am to my parents now is a
hookup connection to you.

Speaker 3 (01:31:17):
Mm hm, that's pretty cool. Yeah, hey, sad speak for me.
Very cool for me. On the Filipino I'm giving your
parents swag by the way, a giant box of swag. Yeah, yes,
free on the Filipino front. Are are you required now
to become a huge Journey fan? Yeah?

Speaker 31 (01:31:35):
Actually yeah, yeah I was a Journey fan, right, when
they made the announcement that was Filipino.

Speaker 3 (01:31:41):
Yeah, it's insane.

Speaker 31 (01:31:42):
When I saw this four foot man live, he's very tiny. Yes,
he had high heels on it.

Speaker 3 (01:31:48):
Jim Shortz Yeah, like he was a really good look
it's from the Bobby Lee collection. Yeah, very good and
really nice guy though, Alan ar Nell Panadia.

Speaker 31 (01:31:56):
Yeah, really nice guy though. But I couldn't believe how
tiny was when I met him. Very small, yeah, and
mid chest is where he hit me. And he has
an accent.

Speaker 3 (01:32:05):
Yeah, thick accent. Yeah, thick because when I said any
Filipino singer though, is it though? Yes? Yeah, Well they talk,
they're like they're like Asian.

Speaker 31 (01:32:14):
Uh, what's the equivalent like Elton John's Okay, you know
what I mean? Like elt John has a thick accent,
but when he sings, you don't hear the accent. Same
thing with I guess accent and then it's gone. I'm
like Europeans and stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:32:25):
I'm used to that. I guess with Asians, I guess
I didn't. I don't know why I didn't expect him
to have such a thick accent, but he did. It's
more phonetic than it, like pronunciation is very different set
is how they say, Yeah, here's some swag.

Speaker 31 (01:32:38):
Oh I love it. That's thank you. That's barely on
his body. Yeah, it's a belly shirt. Well I sent
the specimen in the Yeah. Yeah, I have a certain
style and I like to I like to go tight.
Show off the guns. You know, really get out there,
take us to the gun show. It's an attention getter. Allan,
this is for real. But if you're ever in l

(01:32:58):
A and I'm not there, you can stay at my house.
You just stay in the guest house.

Speaker 3 (01:33:02):
Where do you live. I live in Studio City, right
on the hill. Look at it that I'm there. I'm
being serious, I'm there, all right. Yeah, that's that's a
done deal, done deal. I love you. Okay, I'm just saying,
look at my body, Alan, look at it. I've been looking. Yeah.
I like what I say. I think your listeners know
what kind of body I have. But hey, what can
I tell you just the way you guys are reacting

(01:33:25):
right now? Your listeners, Now, hey, listen, speaking as someone
who is I'm forty three years old now, I say
freshly forty three. I'm terrified of getting older, so I'm
trying to stay in shape. Yeah, I'm trying to stay
in better shape than people ten years behind me exactly,
and you do by the way, I try, you look,
I try twenty nine and I'm not lying, you know

(01:33:46):
twenty nine even with the gray hair. Here's the thing
about us in our age, Alan, if you make a
Marky Mark reference that they have no idea who you're
talking about. Now.

Speaker 31 (01:33:58):
These kids don't know that Mark Wahlberg used to be
Marky Mark in the in the.

Speaker 3 (01:34:02):
Funktitude Mattitude Our Intern. An hour and a half ago,
we had him interview jow Rule and it was one
of the greatest things we've ever aired because he did
no preparation for Joe Roles Pimp in his book. So
joh Roll goes, do you know anything about me? And
he's like, no, I'm He goes holding, He's like, I'm
twenty he's talking about it. He goes, well, do you
know rap? He goes, oh, I like the old stuff

(01:34:23):
like Snoop no Biggie, Right, yeah, generational stuff. It is generation.
But to be honest, who really remembers jo That's what
I'm saying, I do. He had he had something with
jay z Yes of Beef because their men their meat.
They're carnivores. There, I got a beef with you. I
got a beef with you. Nobody's gonna be like, Man,

(01:34:43):
I'm gonna eat your beef, right right, Man, Man, I'm
gonna eat your beef. Man, he pissed me on, I'm
gonna eat your beef. Man, I'm gonna take all your
beat and put it in my mom man.

Speaker 13 (01:34:57):
Oh, stop saying that he keeps his emergency bug out
bag in his trunk. Unfortunately it contains only pez comic
books and moist talents. The Awencock Show on one seven WMMS.

Speaker 3 (01:35:14):
If you do listen to us on iHeartRadio the little
talkback button, there a lot of people like to leave
us quick messages there. Come on, whizz Bang.

Speaker 20 (01:35:22):
You can't possibly believe that the people that swindled your
comic books from you aren't the exact same people that
stole your MP three player from a decade ago. Yeah, sure,
it's two different states, but people stealing MP three players
start out in Ohio and then swiftly graduate to comic

(01:35:45):
book thieves in Florida.

Speaker 3 (01:35:47):
That is wow. That is the best. You are a
whiz Bang for not figuring that on your own sometimes
they need help from out there. That is really the
best explanation I've heard of that whole series of events
and I lost my iPod called the long con. First
we're gonna steal his iPod, and then ten years later,

(01:36:12):
can you imagine if I finally got my comics back,
I opened it up and my iPod is in there,
but no comic. Yeah, that guy was right, he was
right on top of it.

Speaker 6 (01:36:21):
Man.

Speaker 3 (01:36:25):
Well listen, I'm gonna hang on to your message, sir,
and that's going to be not right. And that's going
to be one more Cleveland Orchestra lady. That is going
to be one more piece of evidence that I can
use to build my case against this company iPod. And

(01:36:51):
see that was the kicker too, as I was so
lamenting the loss of my iPod when we lived in
Ohio City, and it was my fault because clearly had
fallen out of my backpack and somebody found it and
clearly took it, so that was on me. But I
was so crestfallen because I had so much music on

(01:37:12):
that iPod, and then when I replaced it, it was
basically like when streaming was really starting to blow up,
So like everybody got rid of their iPods. I know
some people still use them because it's just a hard
drive music on it. But I mean, I've my iPod,
the one that I used to replace, and it's sitting

(01:37:32):
on my desk in the basement. I don't ever use it,
and I consider it a dark spot in my music
enjoying career. But nevertheless, are we all going to be
signing up for the porn id if they passed this bill? Ohio?

(01:37:52):
The forward thinking and progressive minds there in Columbus are
trying to be the next state too, to pass a
law that would require people to verify their age. And
I gotta tell you, theoretically, I don't think that's a
bad I mean, they're like, we want people under eighteen,

(01:38:15):
you know, to not be consuming porn or whatever. I
don't actually have a problem with that, but there's no
way how would you possibly enforce that face so but
there's so many ways around it, so many ways around it.
With face ID, they're not going to do face ID,
but they could that they could, but they're not gonna

(01:38:36):
do that. And of course the porn companies are all like,
this is dangerous because it's uh, it's depriving people of
their privacy. I mean, where is privacy more important than
in the world of people porn? Yeah? Yeah, you always.

Speaker 7 (01:38:50):
I mean you would just click, Like when I was
under age looking at porn, you just click I am eighteen,
or you clicked the year because it used to ask
you mean, go to the website of a beer company?
Are you twenty one? Yes, that's all I need to hear.
Here's what we got on tab this month.

Speaker 3 (01:39:07):
Good job. Yep.

Speaker 7 (01:39:09):
You can't even look at a beer website unless you're
twenty one. You gotta put in your ID. Are you
put in your data book at a new age and
you put one one nineteen twenty nine and they go
welcome that you pick.

Speaker 3 (01:39:21):
Yeah. I have never been to a beer website, so
I wouldn't know. Now this is a bipartisan bill, by
the way, because it's not you know, out of all
of the things that come out of state houses, all
of the proposed litigation that can be bananas, this isn't
the wildest thing to come down the pipe. You can
at least understand the logic behind it is by partisan.

(01:39:42):
A lot of other states, it's just Republicans because they,
of course they hate porn. They're the party of forced
birth at all costs, and there's a lot of pulling
out in porn, so they don't like that.

Speaker 14 (01:39:52):
Here in Ohio it's it's bipartisan.

Speaker 3 (01:39:58):
But again there's a billion ways to get around it,
so I don't know what the point would be. I
think we would be the ninth state to do it now,
and they're just modeling this bill after that. But you know,
in all of these porn lobbying groups, they sue when

(01:40:18):
these states passed these laws. They're just proposing this bill
in Ohio. But there are a bunch of other states
where it has become a law, the usual suspects Utah, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi,
you know the states where they don't want anybody to
have any indication as to how sex works. But they're
going to try it in Ohio. So see what happens there.

(01:40:42):
Require ID or A This is where the language gets
so sloppy. You'd need an ID or age verification service
and you can just put in a birth date. So
in some states, you know, when these companies have sued,
it either gets tossed or gets blocked, or gets appeeled
or something porn's big business. The company of porn Hub's

(01:41:08):
traffic dropped by eighty percent in Louisiana. Yes, they're not
familiar with VPNs there yet.

Speaker 10 (01:41:16):
Well, it's a pain in the ass.

Speaker 3 (01:41:18):
So that would actually mean that they are familiar with VPNs. Why,
because it would say that you are using the website
from a different state. Well, but they can still see traffic, right,
they still see where it was coming from. No, that's
the whole point of a VPN. That's so. But wouldn't
porn hubs still know where stuffs. Wouldn't they be able
to see where it's coming from. No, the whole point

(01:41:40):
of the VPN is it routes it so that you
spoof your location elsewhere. Yes, yeah, I don't know anything
about that stuff. I don't I'm too dumb for that.

Speaker 7 (01:41:47):
I just want to watch reg I'm an old school
porn watcher.

Speaker 3 (01:41:50):
I just want to watch it in the cover in
my own home. I like how watching it is old school.
You didn't have to hide a penthouse in a stump.
What do we No, Yeah, you're too young to have
ever had magazine porn. You've grown up with online pornography. Well,
because if my mom was watching porn.

Speaker 7 (01:42:09):
She probably had like a lock box or something there
was my my mom didn't have that stuff. No, so
if anything, it would be from me and my brother
would have a porn collection and I would find it
and he would kick open my door, like, where's my porn?
You were selling it in school? Allegedly said you were
limitations is a budd You're fine.

Speaker 3 (01:42:29):
I think you're okay. Yeah, Like so I want to
to kick open the door and be like, we.

Speaker 7 (01:42:35):
Gott him for DVD's I sold back at two thousand
and six, you know what, two thousand and seven, two
thousand and eight, Yeah, yeah, no, uh.

Speaker 3 (01:42:46):
Once a pornographer, always a pornographer.

Speaker 7 (01:42:49):
And they're like, we're not even mad that you sold them?
You were did you burn these? You cut out a business.
It's all Japanese where they pixelate the crotch.

Speaker 3 (01:42:59):
That's no fun. Well, there's your sperm news right there.
Way to go, Ohio. A group of doctors have weighed
in on how frequently people should change their underwear. We're
talking yesterday about how people are getting frustrated in the
retail side because stores largely like places like San Francisco

(01:43:22):
or places that are having you know, localized, big, big
problems of shoplifting, but that they are. But that's you
know something, Once one store does that, they're going to
start making it corporate policy or whatever, and it'll trickle down.
We were talking this issue about how a lot of
places now are going to start locking up things like
socks and underwear. Doctors say that if you don't change
your underwear frequently enough, it could have an impact on

(01:43:45):
your health.

Speaker 10 (01:43:46):
Yeah, no, crip, Well.

Speaker 3 (01:43:51):
That might be the problem. That's another benefit of changing
underwear frequently. Well, and again I think back to when
you guys tell these stories that always blow me away
because of how people eat, and so you talk about
people who have like just a bowl, depleting toilet habits

(01:44:20):
or hygiene whatever. So there are probably a lot of
people who aren't changing the underwears frequently. Is maybe they should,
especially if you figure you can take big sloppy dumps
and still have a clean.

Speaker 14 (01:44:39):
But here's my question, Well, get to what they said.
Did they say every day, every day, okay, all day day, underware,
give it a little clean wipe.

Speaker 3 (01:44:51):
Go If that's the least you're going to do for this,
We give what a clean wipe your privates, you said
more than give it. I didn't know if you meant
the underwear or your mom. No, no, no, no, got
you just turn it inside out? No good, I would
swarm him. Turn it inside out?

Speaker 7 (01:45:17):
Oh god, I mean there are reversible undies out there,
are there?

Speaker 3 (01:45:24):
Why would there be? Why would there be? Yeah? They
all are you like uh fundies where they're made of
fruit roll ups. Just eat them off somebody someone, and
they're not as good as By the way.

Speaker 7 (01:45:35):
I'm a person who loves like comfortable underpants, like when
I sleep, and then.

Speaker 3 (01:45:40):
As opposed to most people who prefer to wear wool underpants.

Speaker 7 (01:45:43):
Well, a guy told me you're not You're not supposed
to sleep in your underwear. You're supposed to wear like
pajama pants are short and like no underwear, no free
ball when you sleep, it needs to breathe. He was like,
He's like, ooh, you're your d's gonna be all stinky
in the morning. I said, well, Madie's not sweaty in
the morning, so I don't know if I'm doing it wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:46:00):
But and a lot of people shower in the morning anyway,
So well, I like wearing.

Speaker 7 (01:46:03):
Underwear because I it's probably like an irrational fear, but
like I don't. I think whatever little bugs like crawling
you and eat your deskin while you're sleeping, I don't
want it to crawl in my little in the hole there,
So I just you know, their microscopic right. Well, I
still feel it's a peace of mind that my privates
are covered.

Speaker 10 (01:46:22):
I'm the same way, though not because of like a
weird bug thing. I don't.

Speaker 14 (01:46:25):
I can even if I'm like alone in a hotel
with locked doors, I cannot sleep comfortably without at least
a T shirt and underwear on at very very least.

Speaker 10 (01:46:36):
Like I liked. I said this yesterday. I like to
sleep in clothes.

Speaker 3 (01:46:39):
Yeah, because you don't want anybody with nefarious intent zeroing
in on you from the snail trail.

Speaker 10 (01:46:45):
Like, even if I'm at what you're used to, I
don't like being I don't like being naked in.

Speaker 3 (01:46:50):
Bed, being bottomlessly in bed.

Speaker 10 (01:46:53):
Not without underwear on. No, I feel like.

Speaker 14 (01:46:55):
Naked out and everything's I don't know, it's just it
makes me un comfortable.

Speaker 3 (01:47:00):
I don't like it all flopping around.

Speaker 10 (01:47:02):
Yeah, I'm the same way, Like.

Speaker 7 (01:47:04):
I got a lot, and it's it's uncomfortable with the marror.
You're not flopping around, pound cake, and I are flopping around.

Speaker 10 (01:47:09):
Your boobs are out.

Speaker 3 (01:47:11):
You weren't abroad a bed.

Speaker 14 (01:47:12):
No, but I wear a shirt. Yeah, that's not going
to keep you from flopping around, but it won't be
out you said flopping or yeah, you flopping a shirt
but not like not like they're out out of a cover.

Speaker 3 (01:47:24):
Yeah covered. Yeah, you'll marry.

Speaker 7 (01:47:27):
You'll never understand what it's like to like kick your
balls like while you're sleeping.

Speaker 3 (01:47:30):
Like that's I'm going to go on record. I don't
know what it's like they kick my balls. I don't
either my own balls while I'm sleeping. So I'm the
only one that kicks his balls while Are you dreaming
about being a roquette? What's happening? No, he's river dancing
when he's getting rimsleep.

Speaker 7 (01:47:46):
He's very uncomfortable. I don't like that you have very
long balls. Well, they're very heavy, and they they're very
heavy way down. Yeah, but I would think that would
keep them from moving. If they were heavy, they'd be
more stationary. No, they're cracker and they hang low clackers.

Speaker 3 (01:48:03):
All right, So you do got long balls? Yeah, he's
Johnny long balls over and U Joe dirt, poor guy,
I got a couple of clackers, all right? Surgery for that?
Can you get your like all the time, like if
they say too little, like they gets Doctor Bergland could

(01:48:26):
probably advise you on that. I'm sure they do a
couple of inches off scrotal uh shortening or something like that.

Speaker 7 (01:48:32):
Could you imaggine telling people like I know everyone's not
as a missy, but like if you're at work and
you're like, guys, I need I need this day off.
I'm having searcher like, oh my god, what's wrong? Like, oh,
I'm getting my my.

Speaker 3 (01:48:45):
Scroll overplacement surgery or just like it's called scronoplasts rota
scrotle lift.

Speaker 7 (01:48:51):
Yeah, I'll be right back, like it'll be quick recovery
a couple of days. Max, I would film it. If
I had to get something like that, I would totally
film it.

Speaker 3 (01:49:00):
You don't want to look like Alec Baldwin midway through
Glen Gary Glenn Ross and it hurts like you know,
you kicking your own balls in your sleep. You gotta
stick it down a pant leg and then.

Speaker 7 (01:49:11):
People think, oh, wow, he's packing like Nope, it's just
my ballsy wow. And another piece of the puzzle falls
into place like he's welling out. I'm like, yeah, just
just my ball.

Speaker 3 (01:49:25):
It's just a ball, and both are just one twelve
inches of sack. Some people might be into that. Mm hmmm.
We're playing them Saturday night on our metal show. Hey, Alan,
I'm catching up on the podcast listening to Friday's show
where you talked about personalities. It would belong on the

(01:49:47):
Mount Rushmore of radio. And I can't believe that you
left out Alan Almond of Detroit's Pillow Talk show. Now,
I'm sure you regret this omission, So perhaps you could
hit the post on hard to say I'm sorry by Chicago,
and you do it in your best fame, of course,
are you guys hip to Alan Almond?

Speaker 26 (01:50:04):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:50:05):
Oh god, I love this guy. He died some years ago.
He was never publicly photographed. Obviously the people who knew
him and worked with him, and every so often somebody
would interview him, but he was never publicly photographed. You know,
in the eighties and nineties there were a lot of
radio stations that had these night shows. His was called

(01:50:25):
Pillow Talk. This was on WNIIC in Detroit when I
was on in Detroit, some years ago. I was hoping
that I would meet him, but the opportunity never arose
and he he died some years ago. He was like
late sixties, wasn't super old. They found him in his
apartment in suburban Detroit. But he was on for like
thirty years, and he did a show called Pillow Talk.

(01:50:45):
And when I had first moved to Kalamazoo, Michigan, people
knew who this guy was, but I didn't because I
didn't know he was on in Detroit and he would
do I'm sure Cleveland had a show like this too, right,
they'd call it like night Moves or his was called
pillow Talk, and he would just do this syndicated version

(01:51:06):
of uh with Corolla.

Speaker 12 (01:51:10):
What was that one?

Speaker 3 (01:51:12):
Oh, that's sex Talk or the Doctor Drews Shock and
Drew show line. Yeah, no, no no, this was like here,
I'll play something for you. So he would talk. There's
a song about cooling the game called Summer Madness, and
he would talk over a Summer Madness bed and the
show was on like eight to midnight or you know,
and he would just talk.

Speaker 24 (01:51:32):
You've been listening to Pillow Talk. My name is Alan
Alman and it's the witching holler.

Speaker 3 (01:51:42):
It's nineteen eighty three, right, so this is back when
great These were a big deal back in the day,
and every city had one. And Alan Almond in Detroit
got it. What a what a grab that person left
that message, Alan Almond, Well.

Speaker 24 (01:51:58):
That's about going to wrap it up for Monday nights.
That's a quick go about the lights.

Speaker 3 (01:52:02):
And this is a scope take. It's not the whole thing.
I'll tell you what. This is one of these old
school guys whose voice was so amazing. He just loved
to hear himself talk, so he would stretch out these
You could never do it now taking this time. I

(01:52:23):
don't know how you talk. Well, there was no mich
Lindell back then, you know. Was our pillow twelve thirty.

Speaker 24 (01:52:36):
And once again, I'd like to take just a second
to thank you very very much.

Speaker 3 (01:52:41):
So I can't imitate Alan Allman because my voice doesn't
do that. But even that, I mean, he did this
thing for thirty years and he'd be like sweet dreams Angel,
you know he was talking to this guy was just
like an audio panty dropper. It was like the top

(01:53:02):
this is a night show for christ sake, and it
was like the top show in Detroit. For a while
he was at the height of this show. He was
the highest paid non syndicated radio host in the country.
Night Host is Everything. Every market had these shows.

Speaker 24 (01:53:20):
A wonderful, wonderful night, and a good day tomorrow and
smile and we'll.

Speaker 3 (01:53:25):
See us all right there. I gotta get more of
him talking sexy. That's just him kind of addressing the crowd.
But he would do these things called make a wish
and it wasn't No, it wasn't him talking to sick kids.

Speaker 24 (01:53:37):
Child then you and I, Tony, this is make a wish,
a fun little thing we do about this time of
the night. And it's so easy. It's some simple. All
you have to do is put your head on my
shoulder and close your eyes.

Speaker 3 (01:53:58):
And you should be doing this on your podcast.

Speaker 12 (01:54:04):
Just close your eyes.

Speaker 7 (01:54:05):
Yeah, oh no, that's that's too much whisper. It's too
what that's too much of a whisper, too much of.

Speaker 3 (01:54:11):
A whim Close your eyes and feel my arms around you.
Something he put that music underneath. Something could happen there,
Alan allmand Yeah, wow, do I make a move. He's
talking to them. Do you feel he was talking to lady? No,

(01:54:31):
I'm not, I know, but this guy was like this
guy never worked anywhere else. He's born and raised in Detroit.
His parents like owned a flower shop or something, and
he just you know, he was probably one of those
dudes where he probably had that voice when he was fifteen,
but he was never publicly photographed. I mean, people that
knew him and said he'd looked like a you know,
he had like a bushy white dude, you know, bushy mustache,

(01:54:54):
and they're like, you know, but that was smart. Every
time there was a picture hum or something, he'd be
holding so coming in front of his face. But and
that station is still on there, but I don't know
that anybody does. In Chicago, we had The Quiet Storm
was the show that we had. It was on the
Smooth Jazz station and a lady did, a woman named
Deny Alexander. It was a station that I when I

(01:55:15):
was in radio sales before I came to Cleveland, I
worked for that radio station and so I knew her
a little bit. But she was the one that did
that show. When I was a kid, I remember the
Quiet Storm, and I'm sure Cleveland had one too back
in the day. I'm sure people who were born and bred.
Here can tell me who the quiet Storm dude was
here in Cleveland. Almed voice made me make a mess

(01:55:37):
in my pants.

Speaker 7 (01:55:39):
I think I think our quiet Storm was a woman
and it was Kim Sellers. If I'm not mistaken, you
might be right again. I mean, but that cool and
the Gang Summer Madness is a great song. Somebody said
Freddy James was on ZAK back in the day. How's
the guys say? Wzak was always the quiet quiet Storm
And whenever they talk about just sit back, relax, run
a bath, I'm like, Oh, this is going down to

(01:56:00):
run a bath and lights and candles.

Speaker 3 (01:56:03):
Your lost a warm.

Speaker 7 (01:56:08):
He literally ta bagging whatever they say, run a bath.
I know it's about to be popping. I'm like, okay,
get the boys to men. I would grab my lube.
I'm like, it's it's about to be on it popping.

Speaker 3 (01:56:19):
Yeah, Alan, how can Poundcake write a book? He's scared
of everything. Well, that's where you got to put a
little bit of showbiz into it. That's where you have
to embellish some of your stories. And he's a good
embellisher and I could write him. I'll be self deprecating
my life driving the speed limit.

Speaker 7 (01:56:38):
That's what you should call it. My life has to
cowardly lyon been touching my whole life.

Speaker 15 (01:56:42):
For courage, and I just had to, you know, muster
up the courage.

Speaker 3 (01:56:49):
To do everything. I never had a dad. Never I'll play.

Speaker 7 (01:56:53):
I'll play you guys, just like I play my mom.
You know I really want this for Christmas. We can't
afford it, you know. Yeah, I know we're not a
two parent household. I know I don't have a dad.

Speaker 3 (01:57:02):
I get it. I know our dog got stolen. I
know you guys can't afford this book. I know you
guys are starving right now.

Speaker 7 (01:57:08):
But uh, a gay black man in America just trying
to make his way and I never had a dad,
So I'm just trying.

Speaker 3 (01:57:13):
To, you know, do something good for the community. Did
it work? You guys can buy my book? I mean
I would buy it. Yeah, it needs a bit more,
but uh how guilt ya mm hmm, Miss pound kick
leads jump draw a bath water license candles. The next

(01:57:35):
four hours is just gonna be meet you and the
sweet supple sounds bart my fire and boys to men
and Tommy Braxton. All right, wait, hold on, hold on,
you know turn on in effect satan, the centsuous satan

(01:58:00):
to those long balls of the water, that nice roe
with therapy.

Speaker 11 (01:58:08):
What oars, we're back pusher balls us.

Speaker 3 (01:58:22):
Job balls, play your ball. Put your balls on my shoulder, baby, y'all,
but your bows right, but your bows on my shoulder?
Maybe that one.

Speaker 2 (01:58:46):
Put your.

Speaker 24 (01:58:49):
Wild it's almost.

Speaker 11 (01:58:56):
Talk to.

Speaker 3 (01:58:59):
Take it making me uncomfortable. You're making it move almost
time you did. I'm got to.

Speaker 11 (01:59:07):
Make sure you go. Make sure you're doing all your
clothes when we get into bed. Sometimes the bots.

Speaker 3 (01:59:15):
Around shaving those creases, get into those creases.

Speaker 11 (01:59:25):
I don't feel like a tans. I gotten tired.

Speaker 3 (01:59:29):
Oh that's great.

Speaker 11 (01:59:33):
I want you to.

Speaker 9 (01:59:33):
I want you to put all your clothes on.

Speaker 11 (01:59:35):
Before we can pick me too bad happy? Yeah that
seems that seems coldering too. It doesn't a baby, But don't.

Speaker 9 (01:59:44):
You worry about.

Speaker 3 (01:59:46):
The Only thing you're gonna be flopping.

Speaker 11 (01:59:48):
Around in the hair is men.

Speaker 3 (01:59:51):
Get here, flo. I'm gonna put a.

Speaker 11 (01:59:55):
Fast bomb in your ass.

Speaker 3 (01:59:58):
That's right.

Speaker 11 (02:00:00):
How about you?

Speaker 3 (02:00:03):
You're gonna put a bath on mask.

Speaker 11 (02:00:07):
Ball in your Thanks at call, you're talking to launch you.

(02:00:29):
He's a roping moll.

Speaker 3 (02:00:38):
God dad, anyway, Thank you. So whoever left that message,
thank you so much for the dropping the Alan Almonds
thing on me because I love that. Pro tip. If
a cop pulls you over and nay hear you listening
to this, you're.

Speaker 7 (02:00:54):
Probably just gonna last you go, because you know, I
figured you suffered.

Speaker 3 (02:00:59):
Enough yelling cock show. On one hundred point seven Domma.

Speaker 7 (02:01:05):
I was just walking the campus of Akron and they
were shooting the commercial and they're like, hey, you come here.
I'm like, oh God, in my hair?

Speaker 21 (02:01:14):
When was this?

Speaker 3 (02:01:15):
You don't have any here? When was this happening?

Speaker 7 (02:01:17):
This was when I went to school there, probably like
when you were at school, like twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen,
and they put me in their commercial. I was just
walking by my cute little house ro outfit. I was
getting ready to go to work. What was the commercial
for for the Akron for the university so here.

Speaker 3 (02:01:32):
So they were shooting a commercial and just figured we'll
put people in it who are walking by cute people.
They I mean, I'm sure they had people lined up,
but they just couldn't resist me. I was just drinking
my strup.

Speaker 7 (02:01:44):
I have a story that he tells a cocktail party.
I had my little bag I was working in. I'm like,
I'm about to go to work whenever. I don't even
want to go to this shifty Wait, so somebody for
somebody that they had hired bailed. You're walking, then why
would they just grab someone walking by? I don't know,
it's they can only assume we've all been on professional
shoots before.

Speaker 3 (02:02:04):
You've got people that are booked to do the shoot.
You every nevertheless, and I'm racially ambiguous.

Speaker 10 (02:02:11):
That's a big one.

Speaker 3 (02:02:11):
There's nothing ambiguous about you whatsoever. They n nothing about
you as ambiguous. They gave me sexually, nothing combiguous talking.

Speaker 14 (02:02:20):
If you just see him walking, you're like, that could
be a black guy, that could be a Hispanic guy.
That's exactly what happened there.

Speaker 10 (02:02:26):
We just need diversity in here.

Speaker 3 (02:02:28):
We just need somebody who is the color of a
latte to be in this commercial.

Speaker 7 (02:02:31):
They gave me lines and I was like reading lines.
I was like, which, he's great at okay, But I
was working. I'm like, I set this.

Speaker 3 (02:02:39):
I set these lines on fire, like I'm like, I
can't wait to see what it's going to be.

Speaker 7 (02:02:42):
And then I waited like a couple of months for
the commercial to come out. They just got a picture
of me like smiling, and I'm like, they heard you
do a couple of lines. They're like, guys, we can't
use this. I was leaving the radio station, but I was.
It was like because it wasn't even like a second.
I look up, like and it's like cut, Like nah.

Speaker 3 (02:03:01):
All those lines I rehearsed before.

Speaker 8 (02:03:04):
First you were walking by, and then Grant, I know,
I'm confused by this whole story you said before because
they had people they had people already shooting the commercial,
like they had people designated to shoot this commercial confiscated.

Speaker 3 (02:03:16):
And then I was walking back to like you you
you there, I'm like me, hey, and they're just grabbing
people for testimonials and and so then they were like here,
here's your here's your release eyes. Okay, well that's that
explains a little bit more of Frank and I sat
there for it. You're ready. I'm like, yeah, I got this.
Let me, let me do it.

Speaker 22 (02:03:35):
And I'm just like this, imagine him doing it like
Jack Donnegie on thirty Rocks. I put my hands, he's
holding to coffee. I love the University of Act. I
don't know where to put my hands right.

Speaker 3 (02:03:47):
I was sitting like.

Speaker 7 (02:03:48):
They're like, okay, you don't sit like that. I'm like okay,
They're like, don't cross your arms. I'm like okay, they're like,
don't slout. I'm like, oh, all right, well, what do
you want me to do? Turned out, all they wanted
me to do is look and smile. That's all they
had to say. Then I had to to just say lines.
Hold on, I had to fish my gumming worm.

Speaker 3 (02:04:05):
Yeah. He's at the crafty table and they're trying to shoot.

Speaker 10 (02:04:09):
He's walking past, eating a sandwich like you.

Speaker 3 (02:04:11):
I had that stop eating the food.

Speaker 7 (02:04:15):
And I just went home and told him. I'm like, mom,
you'll never guess what happened. I was in a commercial
and I was like, they told me, they gave me
all these lines.

Speaker 3 (02:04:25):
She's like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 7 (02:04:26):
She's telling her girls at work and then everyone's waiting
and all of a sudden, I got tagged.

Speaker 3 (02:04:32):
From Brag until the finished prouduct. I didn't know I
was picked out of a crowd. I was like, Oh,
he must saw something in me.

Speaker 7 (02:04:39):
He needed me in this moment. And I got tagged
in something on Facebook. And that's how I found out
because someone was like, I was watching TV and I'm
pretty sure I saw Cody run in a commercial and
I was like, it's out.

Speaker 3 (02:04:51):
You know that commercial that you told everyone about. Yeah,
I didn't see you in it, Brilli, he's going through
it there, I am. So I was thinking of that
when I see a movie where it just has like
day players in the background or something, or when they're like,
we were watching Home Alone again.

Speaker 10 (02:05:04):
We watched that over the weekend.

Speaker 3 (02:05:05):
Yeah, oh problem, we both watched the same thirty one
year old movie. Anyway, we're watching it and at the end,
where the old guy next door reconciles with his family,
you see the backs of the heads of his son
and daughter in law walking into the house. I'm like,
imagine you're in a major motion picture and we never

(02:05:28):
see your face. Yeah right, You've probably got a SAG card,
but you have no lines, so you get a day
rate for this movie. It's a studio movie, and we
don't well, you're in the credits, don't see your face,
you don't say anything. That would just be weird.

Speaker 10 (02:05:43):
But it's still people still use that as a credit.

Speaker 14 (02:05:45):
There's people who are walking by in one episode of
Glee and they're like Glee.

Speaker 3 (02:05:52):
Yes you heard right, Yes, that's pound Cake. He's that
guy I was walking by.

Speaker 10 (02:05:59):
They're not lying. They are in the movie.

Speaker 3 (02:06:02):
He was in the commercial, but that credit would give
no prospective casting agent anything. They would know nothing, But
they would know nothing about you. If they saw the
back of your head and you had no line, you
could go, yeah, I was in Glee and they go, oh,
where back there? That's me. That gives them nothing like
a fun thing I guess to put on before.

Speaker 10 (02:06:23):
So you have experience being on a set.

Speaker 3 (02:06:26):
There's people's kids who have been on set. That's you
know what I mean?

Speaker 12 (02:06:29):
Right?

Speaker 7 (02:06:30):
I still say that I was in a jeffree Star
YouTube video, even though it was the back of my head.

Speaker 3 (02:06:34):
So I was in the video, and who wouldn't want
to be in that millions of followers did any of
them come over to follow you? Well? Then why does
it matter? So the finished product of the University of
Akron commercial, did you have a line or they just
use like a What did they use of you? Is
this a commercial? We could find somewhere if you know

(02:06:55):
the name of it. I don't know the name of it,
but you were in it. I don't know anything about it.

Speaker 10 (02:06:59):
What year was it?

Speaker 3 (02:07:01):
When were you in college? I was in the house.

Speaker 7 (02:07:03):
I worked at Hollister, like twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen, so
it had to be around there.

Speaker 3 (02:07:07):
It wasn't the super Bowl commercially, it was something before.
But so what did they end up using of you?
Just me looking up and smiling. I had the same lines,
the erebody and I think it's I think this guy's
gonna be better just looking. He's a pretty face. He's
not a talker. Okay, so they got you look at
what were you looking at at? What were you looking
at the camera? Oh oh was it one of those

(02:07:28):
things where you like bring your head up and smile.
Oh yeah, okay, They're like, oh, didn't see you there?
Oh hi, like a like an eighties sitcom intro and
like you look over your shoulders literally necess literally it okay,
But I bet your mom has a copy. I bet
you got it on DVD or something. No, we have
it on DVD.

Speaker 26 (02:07:45):
Really went not.

Speaker 10 (02:07:45):
She didn't tape it off the television.

Speaker 3 (02:07:47):
No, when we we watched it because it was appearing.

Speaker 7 (02:07:51):
It was like on social media and stuff too, like
when you like look at a YouTube video like I
don't know whatever.

Speaker 3 (02:07:58):
I forget what it's called.

Speaker 7 (02:08:00):
When it can track you know, your local area and
it plays videos based on your location, and people would
like pull up YouTube videos and then the commercial will
play and they're like hey, and then they was screenshot
it to me, so I saved like a screen shot,
but I don't have the commercial.

Speaker 3 (02:08:17):
It's like your algorithm or something. Now only means a
pound cake has been ruining audio visual productions since two
thousand and seven. Well, that's unfair. It didn't ruin anything.
It was they asked him to be in it. Oh
you found it.

Speaker 14 (02:08:29):
I'm looking at stuff on YouTube. I just typed in
University of Akron commercial twenty fourteen.

Speaker 3 (02:08:34):
Allen, I just watched the Seinfeld episode where George was
watching Home Alone and crying. Coincidence is about, hey, there
you go, look all of us.

Speaker 28 (02:08:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:08:42):
I hadn't planned on watching Home Alone again, but we
were trying to figure out something we could all stare
at and enjoy relatively. And he didn't go with the
new Home Alone or you went with the original. Well,
I didn't realize that there was a new Home Alone
with Peter Holmes in it. There's a brand new Home
Alone movie. A little British kid, but I didn't want

(02:09:02):
to take a chance on that because I'm like, if
this sucks that we wasted something when you know the
home Sweet Home Alone is what it's called, and it's
got The kid who played Buzz all growed up said, yeah,
he's like a bearded ginger. Mary would totally be into
this guy. You should watch the new home swite Home Alone.
I think he plays like a security guard or something

(02:09:23):
or Okay, because it's Ellie Kemper and Rob Delaney and
you know, so the adults I like in it, but
I'm like, I don't want Yeah, this thing just came
out like two weeks ago. I haven't heard anybody talk
about it yet, though I haven't heard it was very
good or not good. It's just something that's happened.

Speaker 14 (02:09:39):
Yeah, it's my apparently my boyfriend's daughter's favorite movie at
the moment.

Speaker 3 (02:09:43):
Where it is Home Alone.

Speaker 10 (02:09:44):
We watched Home Alone one all the way through. She fell.

Speaker 14 (02:09:47):
We both fell asleep, and then we started it back
at like the Shenanigan's part where they get into the
house and all the you know, the fun part of
the movie, the last twenty minutes where everything builds up
to them stepping on Christmas ornaments.

Speaker 3 (02:09:58):
I think the fun part of the movie is when
every what He's safe. And there's a great video on
YouTube that my son turned me on too, And I
don't know how old it is because I usually come
late to those things. But it's called We Made Home Alone?
Are rated? Have you seen that? It's a VFX company
that takes Home Alone and makes it super gory like
they it's so funny, like when Daniel Stern is poking

(02:10:20):
his head through the doggie door and Macaulay Culkin's got
that baby gun. It's like a regular gun and you
gotta find it. It's so funny. I mean, it's clearly
like everything cgi in there. But boy, they put some
painstaking effort into making Home Alone r raided. We found
your commercial punk I heard. Now you're not gonna be

(02:10:42):
able to It's called Doors of Opportunity. Now before I
play this, because you did say it just has a
half a second of you. You told us you were
on your way to work at at Hollister and they said, hey,
you cute, handsome young man, walk over here. That's exactly
what happened.

Speaker 7 (02:10:55):
But you're in a cap and gown in this but
if you pause right on my frame, and I know
this because I've done it many times, like I always do.

Speaker 14 (02:11:02):
In this world.

Speaker 3 (02:11:02):
I paused on pound Cake's frame every single day when
he walks down. I don't like him to notice it,
but it happens.

Speaker 7 (02:11:10):
If you pause on my frame and look very closely,
you can see my Hollister shirt.

Speaker 10 (02:11:14):
So they gave you the cap and gown, That's what
I'm saying. We're just walking around campus and a cap
and gown.

Speaker 3 (02:11:18):
No, I was walking around campus like it. Oh, they
were costuming, but they picked me out of the crowd.
That's what I'm saying. You were like, put this on,
you would look beautiful in it. I'm like me, okay, yeah,
they probably go that guy looks like this size, right,
we need a medium, not like cap and caps and
gowns are fitting. Of course, I had someone do my
makeup and I didn't have to makeup. Camera ready, Okay.

(02:11:40):
Doors of Opportunities from twenty eight fourteen.

Speaker 21 (02:11:42):
What do you see a landscape to pursue your passion
and a rewarding career? A university with one hundred and
twenty million dollars in student awards to lower the cost
of education a place where work opportunities during college lead
to great jobs.

Speaker 10 (02:11:56):
Acker has opened my eyes to so many opportunities in.

Speaker 3 (02:11:58):
Your careers, gave me the is literally blake. You know
you know why. I'll tell you why. Go ahead. The
people who talk in this are awful. So how bad
were you? You can't understand what these people are saying?

Speaker 14 (02:12:16):
Well, that's what I was gonna say, is that if
you're not watching the video, it's like a cut up
of five different people saying the same three or four lines.

Speaker 10 (02:12:24):
So they'll say like five or six words and then they'll.

Speaker 14 (02:12:27):
Cut to somebody else and say, Okay, all you have
to say is I learned at the University of Acrid.

Speaker 3 (02:12:33):
But you not having a line is the best thing
that could have happened to you. Well, I didn't have
a choice. You wouldn't have been lumped right. But these
other people the guy go opportunities.

Speaker 10 (02:12:43):
Right, A has opened my eyes to so many.

Speaker 3 (02:12:46):
Achen has opened my eyes to so many, to so
many opportunities.

Speaker 32 (02:12:50):
Many opportunities, options is what he says.

Speaker 3 (02:12:55):
Have an accent though I remember career. Why would they
get a kid because they want to sound like they're
bringing kids from overseas, right, Yeah, I think he.

Speaker 7 (02:13:02):
I think he was like, mummy, I want to go
to the University of Akron had a really good soccer team,
so they had a lot of exchange.

Speaker 11 (02:13:08):
Is that what it was?

Speaker 3 (02:13:09):
That is true? Oh okay, yeah, so they're bringing them
over like on soccer scholarships and stuff. I'm guessing. I sorry,
football scholarships. I want to be a football lot.

Speaker 10 (02:13:17):
Opportunities gave me the motivations. And by the way, in
between options and Akron is when.

Speaker 3 (02:13:24):
You see coaches flash of yes, little flash of Cody
and then they have a girl in a cap and
gown with lines. Yeah you poor guy, because he's a
good looking dude. Yeah, really cute. You look considerably younger.
I know what it is though, it's you don't have glasses,
more facial hair. Because I was at Hollister and I
was on and this was seven years ago. Yeah he

(02:13:46):
was twenty one years old. Yeah. I was sexy, and
I will my contacts all the time. I was very
you know, I was very You're still trying.

Speaker 7 (02:13:52):
I was self Yeah, I was self conscious, and so
I was like, gotta wear my contacts every day, gotta
look like I'm walking down a room way every day
and I might get.

Speaker 3 (02:14:00):
Notice, and today I got notice. Yeah, listen, it never
hurts to be camera ready at all times. That's the truth.
Are you implying Bill that he has stopped trying? Yeah, yeah,
Oh you're admitting it. Oh really, I mean, if you're
a single guy, you're still trying to get a dude.
But it doesn't take a lot of work. What doesn't
take a lot of work?

Speaker 10 (02:14:18):
The guy, we've been over this how easy it is
for gay man.

Speaker 3 (02:14:21):
No, it's easy to have sex.

Speaker 10 (02:14:23):
That's all he wants.

Speaker 3 (02:14:24):
That's not all you want. You've made it very clear
that's not all you are.

Speaker 14 (02:14:27):
He was a kept man by a lawyer, and he
left him because he was bored. He doesn't want to
be in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (02:14:33):
This is what I'm saying is this is not the
right time to stop taking care of yourself.

Speaker 10 (02:14:37):
You have a fish and chips for life.

Speaker 3 (02:14:38):
Yeah, you're almost thirty, which you might be eighty in
gay years, so you know you're not having lines. That's
a good move they did do, because you do just
kind of look. You're like, oh, guy cut to you,
and you're going, hey, yeah, heany.

Speaker 33 (02:14:55):
Gave me the motivation it is a weird cut though.
It's so it's a string of people talking and him
not then another girl talking right like, I think my
dreams come true.

Speaker 21 (02:15:05):
The University of Akron, where you get the greatest lifetime
return on investment of any Northeast Ohio public university.

Speaker 3 (02:15:13):
Yeah, it's it's there's nothing weird about it. I mean,
that's what most college commercials look like, probably, But to
have a run of three or four kids talking and
then it just so happens they cut to you. They
must have just needed somebody quiet and beautiful, so they had. Well,
none of the other people in this thing or any
are good looking, so I mean they're not looking you

(02:15:34):
know what I mean that they don't need models. It's
to ad for college. So huh they were good looking kids. Whatever. Well,
I'm just saying, like, uh, I think he did okay
in this bill tweeted it out if people were watching,
or the University of Backrond Doors of Opportunity is what's called.
And then you know, because you could have been one

(02:15:54):
of those girls like smiling looking at your phone like
you're googling your school or something.

Speaker 7 (02:15:58):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:15:58):
That's must have been one of the girls in it,
twice talking and then non talking. Yeah, she's the real star.
Where is she? Where you get the greatest? Like yeah,
all these kids are pushing thirty now yep. So they're
telling their own version of this story. Except when they
tell it, they go, it was a girl and then me,
and then a guy who didn't talk, and then another

(02:16:21):
girl who talked.

Speaker 10 (02:16:21):
Yeah, he was weird. We don't know what was up
at that.

Speaker 3 (02:16:23):
Why didn't they let him talk?

Speaker 14 (02:16:25):
University of Akron's gonna be like, why did this video
jump a thousand Greeks?

Speaker 3 (02:16:31):
They have like this recruiting video from twenty fourteen, what
happened will uh huh?

Speaker 14 (02:16:38):
They're like trying to recreate it. They're like, Okay, this
is what we should do. Obviously this is popular, Like
this is what the people what they want.

Speaker 3 (02:16:44):
Three talking kids, one non talking, two more talking kids
been reshared like forty times. Yeah, look at this guys.
Doors of Opportunity finally hit. That was our college jam band,
the long con piece of waiting that No.

Speaker 7 (02:17:02):
Yeah, I had that freeze frame of me as like
my cover photo on Facebook when it first hit because
I was just so proud.

Speaker 3 (02:17:07):
I'm like, yeah, but that's also lines, well, but you're
right as a photo that were probably a nice photo.
You're smiling, you're in a cap and gown. People really
thought I graduated.

Speaker 7 (02:17:15):
You're like, wow, but you did graduate early. But this
was in twenty fourteen. I didn't graduate to tweeny sixteen.
Oh so you were a sophomore when that happened. Tunks
about right.

Speaker 10 (02:17:24):
Yeah, in Monsters inc.

Speaker 14 (02:17:25):
When they put out the commercial for the company and
they cover up Mike Wazowski's face with.

Speaker 10 (02:17:30):
The logo, and he goes, I can't believe it.

Speaker 3 (02:17:36):
Exactly what Monsters Incorporated?

Speaker 10 (02:17:39):
Working for a better tomorrow today?

Speaker 3 (02:17:43):
Yeah, you are the Mike Wazowski of the University of acrim.

Speaker 10 (02:17:48):
He talks to Sully's mom. He's like, did you see me?
I was great?

Speaker 3 (02:17:50):
I was born for the camp. That's right. Happy to help. Hey, listen,
nobody in my college is putting me in no goddamn commercials.
Good for him. He just walked going across the quad.
You're still call it the quad. Walking across the quad,
zipping if you will, across the quad on his way
to work, and they go, you there, boy, come over here,

(02:18:11):
put this cabin gown on, young man.

Speaker 10 (02:18:13):
You're quite handsome.

Speaker 3 (02:18:14):
You're quite handsome and racially ambiguous. That's a go.

Speaker 10 (02:18:21):
See brown people graduate.

Speaker 3 (02:18:24):
We've got a kid here who kicks them all er
on from Germany. Patty got to stand him. Look at
this young man. We've got a ninety one percent graduation rate.
They got a pretty high graduation rate. Ray, I don't
wody's flunking out of you of a.

Speaker 7 (02:18:36):
Oh, there's playing people funking out every college, but don't
I don't know the graduation rate.

Speaker 3 (02:18:39):
Not if you don't go to class, but I mean
like flunking out, flunking.

Speaker 7 (02:18:42):
Well, no, I don't think so, because it's a commuter school,
trying and feeling. I don't know why that time. What
does the commuter school have to do with it? I
don't know how that ties into it, but I feel
like you're just wanting to make sure if you're taking
capping down off. I feel like if you're driving into
school every day like you're more I don't know, you're
more focused. You're not just there for parties like you're there. No,
you're focused. If you're paying for school yourself. Those are

(02:19:04):
the people who don't dick around a college. The people
who are paying their own to wish they got three
jobs in there. You know, Well I didn't pay it,
but I had. All my loans were in my name.

Speaker 3 (02:19:12):
I'm paying for it now. But uh no, no, no, no,
not loans. Well, all of our loans are in our names.
I mean people who are paying for college. You're you're
writing checks per semester hour. Those kids do not f
around at three jobs.

Speaker 7 (02:19:25):
When I was in school, I had the freshman's job
I had while I was interning, but I kind of
had a job because it took couple lot of time.
And then I had the radio station job at WCIP.
And then on top of that, I was taking eighteen
credit hours. So my last two years were like, hell,
was this show the only internship you had?

Speaker 3 (02:19:44):
Yeah? Okay, And some people do multiple internships. No, I
because you have to have I think.

Speaker 7 (02:19:49):
You have to have like a certain amount of credits
before you can even intern or co op. So I
was like junior senior year I was allowed to then intern.

Speaker 3 (02:19:57):
How good for you? Yeah, thanks that, Yeah that's not
a bad ad. Thanks. At least that way nobody can
go oh, you sounded weird, but nobody like me can go, well,
you sounded weird.

Speaker 7 (02:20:11):
I didn't like my voice anyway, so I really I'm
kind of glad they didn't put it in a commercial
because I don't think people expect to see that face
in that commercial have this voice. I don't think, what
do you mean? What I think when they look at me,
they think my voice is going to be different?

Speaker 3 (02:20:27):
Oh they do. I mean that's my insecurity. That's what
I feel like. I feel like people he is to
try and play it cool. But sometimes you don't even
have that option.

Speaker 7 (02:20:35):
Because they have these things called non disclosure agreements.

Speaker 3 (02:20:39):
You think that's a voice, so that would go with
your face.

Speaker 7 (02:20:41):
I feel like a lot of people expect that, and
they're like, people who don't know I think that's the
voice people expected. People who don't know me, they're like, oh,
that's the sound that came out of there. We never
wants to teach my vagina, never wants to text my vagina.

Speaker 14 (02:20:59):
I'm beginning your mrs.

Speaker 3 (02:21:03):
Degree here, that's right, just say you're lying. It's so
good to graduate from ACTA matriculating in the universe of ACRI.
It's so good. The poor air quality, oh, the air
quality is bad. It's bad. That's been a complain about
this thing for a decade more exposure. Folks have the

(02:21:24):
Island cock Show.

Speaker 1 (02:21:26):
More likely it is that one hundred point seven w mms.

Speaker 7 (02:22:16):
You know who this is?

Speaker 12 (02:22:17):
Pocket.

Speaker 3 (02:22:21):
I'm not even gonna try and guess it because I
have no idea. Just sort something out. It's old. He's
nineteen seventy five. I know when you usually make your guesses.
You never breached the nineties. Nothing before the night. He
never gives me anything before the ninety Richard. I think

(02:22:42):
they probably took a lot from Little Richard, but this
is one of the funkier songs they did go ahead
as no Billows songs called Trampled Underfoot. I know this song,
I don't know. It was on an album called Physical Graffiti.
Oh the middle of Side too. I think led up
LEDs zeppeled a little closer to here at Hulls.

Speaker 13 (02:23:09):
Is this?

Speaker 3 (02:23:09):
What is this? Like the original version of it? It's
the version of it?

Speaker 10 (02:23:13):
Yeah, see kind of like Steven Tyler, am I way off?

Speaker 3 (02:23:16):
Are there covers of this that? Oh one hundred bands
of Government? Not to any I don't go that deep
with led Zephyn. I'm not They're they're good, but I
just never like listen to them a bunch question.

Speaker 7 (02:23:29):
Yes, So about all the songs that were recorded by
black artists in the fifties, sixties and seventies that like
were re recorded by white artists. Now that that's known
that that was like a thing that happened, do those
people like get royalties from the old recordings or what?

Speaker 3 (02:23:46):
I think it depends you're talking fifties sixties. These guys
were pulling from like earlier blues artists than that because
all the British bands were brought up on American blues.
So when they were forming rock bands, all of their
songs were essentially versions or cover versions.

Speaker 7 (02:24:02):
Of well blue song and they didn't have to pay
the black artists that they ripped off. Well, I guess
that's the play everything off. But they it was just
known like, oh, we just record a black person music.

Speaker 3 (02:24:13):
But like if but again, if you do a cover
song of another band's you're not ripping them off, You're
you're doing their song. But I'm saying a lot of
them weren't covers.

Speaker 7 (02:24:21):
Like there would be a black artist that would come
out with the song and it wouldn't get really a
lot of radio play, or it will just get black radio,
and it just wasn't widely known. But then it only
takes one white artist to hear that and they're like,
I really like that song, and then it goes mainstream,
and you know.

Speaker 22 (02:24:35):
The black artists, that's when they're actually doing their songs.
But what happened more often is they'd steal the riffs
or the licks and put that into their own song, and.

Speaker 3 (02:24:42):
They write their own lyrics, put their own songs. That's
what led Zeppelin has been accused of a bunch, okay,
But also, there was no place for black music back
in the day, right there weren't There weren't black radio stations.
I mean maybe here and there, but not as a
driving force of what became part of pop culture.

Speaker 7 (02:25:01):
Because I always wondered about that, Like I heard stories
about Elvis he called like some guy in the in
Word back in the day, and then once he got famous,
he bought that guy a car, and I'm like, okay,
well what about all the black hole.

Speaker 3 (02:25:13):
Well that's why little Richard, you said, Little Richard, that's
why Little Richard always took particular umbrage Ofelvis Presley because
he's like they hated when they called Elvis Presley, the
King rock and roll is Little Richard. I think thought
that that should have been his title. Say for him anyway,
I mentioned led Zeppelin because out in Huron, Ohio, not
far from here, they can hear something here. On one
thirty am this past Saturday, a guy named it's in

(02:25:36):
his name, a guy named Nathan Rock. The cops come
out because he's blaring Zeppelin at one thirty in the
morning on Saturday. The neighbors call a noise complain. The
cops show up, and he goes, look, you can't play
ze led Zeppelin quietly. That was his answer. I think
he's right. He's got a sixty year old neighbor, all right, sir.

(02:26:00):
And he called and said that his next door neighbor,
the aforementioned mister Rock, was playing his music loudly and singing.
So then he texted him the neighbor. You know, they
got each other's number. The neighbor texts him, tells him
to turn the music down. Well, that's a twenty first
century complaint, isn't I texted him told him to turn

(02:26:22):
it down, usually yellow the fence. I got a twenty
five dollars fine in my building because my dog was
barking at night. Really yeah, twenty five bucks, You're like,
suck cash money. I paid one hundred times after this dog.

Speaker 10 (02:26:39):
The fire department had to come to my apartment last night.

Speaker 3 (02:26:41):
Oh yes, on that time.

Speaker 10 (02:26:43):
Because I'm an idiot.

Speaker 14 (02:26:44):
I apparently somehow knocked the knob on my guest stove
and turned it on.

Speaker 10 (02:26:50):
So it was I don't know how it happened.

Speaker 14 (02:26:52):
I didn't cook anything yesterday, and when I got home
from work last night, my whole building selled like gas.

Speaker 10 (02:26:59):
Oh, and I got it in my apartment.

Speaker 14 (02:27:00):
I was like, oh, that's coming from here, like this
is And I went and saw that the knob was on,
and I like opened up on my windows and I
called the fire department. I was like, hey, I don't
know what to do next, like I live in a building,
there's other people here. Well, they were like, don't turn
on any electriccy electric products, don't like candle, don't do
any open planes. And they had the one guy he
was like, get out of the house, immediately, alert your

(02:27:22):
neighbors and call nine one one.

Speaker 10 (02:27:23):
And I was like, oh, what the hell did I do?

Speaker 3 (02:27:25):
Like and I called that waito, way way back up,
you turn you just didn't turn the burner all the
way off.

Speaker 14 (02:27:31):
I didn't cook anything, so I don't know how the
burner got turned onto your skin with no and then
you left your apartment. I I don't even know that
I did this, So I'm guessing if I like walked
past to get water out of the fridge, if I
knocked it with my butt or something, my arm hit
it because I didn't cook anything yesterday.

Speaker 3 (02:27:47):
But no my questions, but you left and came back
and noticed it when I got back.

Speaker 14 (02:27:51):
I came into work yesterday for a couple hours, and
then when I got back, I'm six thirty, the whole
place smelled.

Speaker 23 (02:27:56):
You weren't in the apartment at the time long enough
to smell the gas. So I left at about three fifteen.
I got home about six thirty, and that's when it.
The whole place smelled, and I called the fire department.
She looked like, yeah, I get out of the building allert.

Speaker 14 (02:28:09):
Your neighbors, take any pets. Call nine one one. And
I was like, oh, is this whole place about to
go off right now?

Speaker 3 (02:28:14):
And then nine one one, I CLOSO is going to
have a real problem. If you've burned the building down,
it explodes into a million pieces.

Speaker 24 (02:28:21):
Nine one.

Speaker 10 (02:28:21):
One was like, I'll transfer it back to the fire department.

Speaker 3 (02:28:23):
This is not our problem.

Speaker 10 (02:28:24):
I was like, I didn't think that it was you
guys the police.

Speaker 3 (02:28:27):
He right, that's the fire department. And then they'd put
you on hold and I.

Speaker 10 (02:28:33):
Called back and they're like, well, send somebody over. Don't worry.

Speaker 14 (02:28:36):
As long as you turned it off and you said
you have the windows open, you should be okay. So
they like came over and I was like, guys, if
that's all it is, you really don't have to come here,
Like it's not a big deal.

Speaker 10 (02:28:45):
I already took care of it. And they came and
basically basically told me I was dumb. They were like,
oh yeah, this is just a we'll call it user error.

Speaker 3 (02:28:53):
I was like, I didn't mean to do it, and
that'll be twenty five hundred bucks. Some of the chicks
do from time to time.

Speaker 14 (02:28:59):
Man, no worry about Maybe women should spend less time
in the kitchen.

Speaker 3 (02:29:03):
Or may if it stayed in the kitchen instead of
going into work, you would have noticed it upside of
never cooking anything.

Speaker 10 (02:29:09):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (02:29:12):
When you came back, did you smell it as soon
as you walked in the building, or when you walked
in your apartment.

Speaker 10 (02:29:16):
When I walked in the back door.

Speaker 3 (02:29:17):
So if anyone in that building had lit a candle,
which it wasn't bad, you smelled it. I see that.
It doesn't mean it's thick enough to actually ignite. Yes,
And that's what I told him, gas do you need
to ignite? I don't know what you need to.

Speaker 10 (02:29:34):
Bow up a building, Probably a lot.

Speaker 3 (02:29:35):
You need enough that it's going to be in a
condensed maybe at a gas station. The fumes are what ignite.

Speaker 10 (02:29:41):
Yeah, and it's being used all day every day.

Speaker 3 (02:29:45):
I'm just trying to get a sense of how long
this Well that's why I called that three hours of
a gas leak in your apartment. So then how long
did it take to dissipate your apartment? Us have smelled awful? Well, no,
because we're sitting in there.

Speaker 14 (02:29:55):
I opened it up when I like, as soon as
I got home, I shut it off, opened up the windows,
turn on a fan.

Speaker 10 (02:29:59):
It was reaing in my apartment. But they got there.

Speaker 3 (02:30:03):
Warm great.

Speaker 10 (02:30:04):
They got their.

Speaker 14 (02:30:05):
Probably twenty five twenty five minutes, half hour after I
had gotten home, and they were like, well, we don't
smell anything. You've got it ventilated. The building didn't smell
like it when we came in, so it must be fine.

Speaker 3 (02:30:15):
How was it knocking on your neighbor's doors like I didn't, No,
you shouldn't tell her neighbors. They told her to tell
her neighbors, and then she didn't.

Speaker 14 (02:30:21):
They told me to, and he said, alert all your
neighbors and called nine.

Speaker 10 (02:30:24):
One one, and then I called the.

Speaker 3 (02:30:29):
Whole Uh.

Speaker 10 (02:30:30):
I called nine one one and nine one one was like,
absolutely not settled down. I'll transfer you back to the.

Speaker 3 (02:30:35):
Fire depart Nine one one said, don't notify your neighbors.

Speaker 14 (02:30:38):
Nine one said, this is not a big deal. Okay,
So that's why they were basically like, hey, you're not
in the right place. They should have never transferred you here.
So why did the so who told you to get
everybody out of the.

Speaker 10 (02:30:47):
Buildings don't ever answered?

Speaker 14 (02:30:49):
The first call to the fire department put me in
a panic, told me to call nine one one. Nine
one one said, do not panic, call the fire department.

Speaker 3 (02:30:56):
I would think the fire department would be a little
bit more knowledge and that then whoever happens to be Uh.
The nine to one one dispatch at that moment. There's
so I got to I gonna take the fire department's advice.
I got two different fire department people. The first guy
was like, get everybody out. The second guy was yeah.

Speaker 10 (02:31:16):
The second guy was like, this isn't a big deal.

Speaker 3 (02:31:18):
We'll be there in a minute. That's frank. He tells
everybody their neighbors to get out.

Speaker 14 (02:31:23):
Basically because I was like, if my cat's been home
the whole time, like she got carbon monoxide poisoning or
something like.

Speaker 3 (02:31:28):
We call him abundance of Charlie because he always overreacts.
The second guy's just like filing. He's like, ma'am, calm down,
all right.

Speaker 10 (02:31:36):
I was like maybe it was a new guy.

Speaker 30 (02:31:37):
It was like his second day on the job and
he's just going by the book. And the other guy's like,
we see this all the time. Not a big dude,
the grizzled veteran. Yeah, it's right here in the book
that you got to knock on all your neighbor's doors.
How many people would that be? How many units are
in your building?

Speaker 3 (02:31:52):
Six? Oh, that's not that many neighbors. Lady does live there,
even so five people. Yeah, So given the opportunity, the
initially to knock on everyone's door, five doors, and you thought.

Speaker 10 (02:32:06):
It was too much work. I didn't want to panic
people for nothing.

Speaker 3 (02:32:10):
It's probably better that you were on the top floor
versus the bottom because.

Speaker 10 (02:32:14):
Leaking into everything.

Speaker 3 (02:32:16):
It's like incessant fire drills during finals week when you're
in the dorms and everybody's on the in the street.

Speaker 7 (02:32:22):
Just me that I used to love fire drills because
I always they would always go like for me, it
would just get in the way of my studying, so
I really wouldn't care. But it always be the times
where the jocks are like showering and they just come
out in the towel. I'm like, okay, you get it
on her.

Speaker 3 (02:32:35):
He was the guy who was pulling.

Speaker 7 (02:32:37):
Everybody's out there, someone making toasters. Riddle, we're supposed toasters.
You are supposed to have like toaster ovens. Nothing and
every started the fire.

Speaker 3 (02:32:54):
Every time.

Speaker 7 (02:32:55):
It's always it's the same reason. Burnt popcorn. It was
never anything else. It was always burnt popcorn. Oh was
it an instant this time? Nope, burnt popcorn. I'm like, okay, well,
I have to run down twenty six flights of stairs.

Speaker 3 (02:33:06):
Why do you think they started putting a button that
says popcorn on microwaves because nobody could read the bag
that said put it in for two minutes, it still
would burn it. For some reason, I never had a fire.
There was never fire, Joe, because of me.

Speaker 28 (02:33:20):
God.

Speaker 3 (02:33:20):
I remember during like reading a week and finals week,
it was just like be like three in the morning,
and you know that week most people are up doing
all nighters or whatever anyway, but you're at to back
on the street. My sophomore year in college, my room
was at the end of this long hallway, and we
found out a couple of weeks in that the door
on my room locked and the ra couldn't get in

(02:33:44):
with this the normal key. So everybody would rush to
my room, hide and hide, and we'd all like, just
you know, when the alarm's going off every fifteen minutes,
I'm like, just come down into my room, just lock
the door, and you'd hear the thing jiggling or whatever.

Speaker 10 (02:33:58):
No one's in here.

Speaker 3 (02:34:00):
Hey, we're gonna we're going in a second. Yeah, But
then you know, somebody rats on you, but all the
pleaves but you would smell it.

Speaker 10 (02:34:09):
No, if it were a fire, he was creating a hazard.
You've got ten kids crammed.

Speaker 3 (02:34:14):
Yeah, it's nice that you thought I had nine friends.

Speaker 14 (02:34:18):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:34:18):
I didn't have ten kids in there. It's like four.

Speaker 7 (02:34:21):
It's fire trus I used to hate those in the
Dead of Winner. Yeah down there, yes, standing there, and
you're frigging slippers, and I would have the most ridiculous
outfit on, Like you got my slip clothes. I got
a tank top and crocs diggers, like, oh, crotch my
little like almost slippers.

Speaker 3 (02:34:37):
I'm like, great, great, cross man, what a crash. I'm
trying to figure out what crushed it, said Kanye song.

Speaker 7 (02:34:44):
They're they're like sweats, but they're cut off and they
usually have like they're really tight around the It's like
sweats that don't really fix you anymore, but they're comfortable
to sleep in, so it works.

Speaker 3 (02:34:54):
No, I mean you can.

Speaker 7 (02:34:54):
There's sweats, but you can cut them off. They're mainly
just like house shorts. I call them crotch diggers because
as they dig into your crotch because they don't flit
right anymore.

Speaker 10 (02:35:03):
You have sweatpants that are so tight around your thighs.

Speaker 3 (02:35:05):
I like that you feel like coddled while I'm sleeping toddled.
That's a big that's a humble brag, right there. I
need something that really holds all this in. If you
get what I'm saying. They're called joggers these days, right,
Slimy sweatpants are called joggers.

Speaker 7 (02:35:22):
Just like I always talk about the underwear that have
like the holes in them that are always the most comfortable.

Speaker 3 (02:35:26):
The same thing with my sweats. Like they might have
holes in them, they don't. They're missing one drawstring.

Speaker 14 (02:35:31):
Like for women, that's like your day one period underwear
where it's like you don't wear those any other day that.

Speaker 7 (02:35:36):
A cat is probably like poked holes in like the sweatpants,
and you don't want to wear these out. These are
specifically for sleeping and inside of the house stuff, Right,
How do you keep them up when there's no drawstring?
That's why they're crotch diggers because you would fold them down. Oh,
you can customize them to you.

Speaker 3 (02:35:51):
Just buy new sweats because they're comfys worn them in
and you've worn them in and you can customize them.

Speaker 28 (02:35:58):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (02:35:58):
Yeah, I just roll the way do you want?

Speaker 26 (02:36:02):
Two?

Speaker 10 (02:36:03):
Three times?

Speaker 7 (02:36:05):
Like I was wearing them for a grinder hookup the
only time people ever see them. Was when I have
to run down in a hurry for freaking a fire, dreell.
So then the gig was up, so to speak.

Speaker 3 (02:36:17):
Allen natural gas will ignited five to fifteen percent volume
in the air, Let it go. I guess I'm Mary
got five percent.

Speaker 10 (02:36:28):
Of the whole building.

Speaker 3 (02:36:29):
Yeah, that's a lot, but it just has to be
five percent of your apartment too.

Speaker 32 (02:36:35):
If that's where lighting something, well that's where the leak was,
is what I'm saying.

Speaker 14 (02:36:39):
Yeah, but there was nobody home, right, but when you
got home, if I were to light a candle, yes.

Speaker 3 (02:36:45):
Let's say, oh what if that? Imagine the person who
finds out they have COVID because they've lost their sense
of taste and smell, and that happens to them and
they go inside and they don't smell the gasol terrifying.
Think about that. You know what I was thinking, Why

(02:37:06):
I check your knobs, ladies, before you leave the house,
make sure you check your knobs.

Speaker 14 (02:37:11):
I didn't check my knobs because I didn't cook anything,
so the stove was not in my forefront, you kn