SOME OF THE ALAN COX SHOW 12/22

The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Yeah, the Federal Communications Commission just determined the following content
to be emotionally harmful. Funny Things that you think is
funny aren't funny.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Jimmy coxbollid time, Alan Cox.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Show kicks, ash Man welcome, show me what you go.
I'm gonna see a lot of cocks on TV. Allen
Cox from me, Alan COXO. I don't know what's about you,
but I can fader.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
I thank you, so it don't be a.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Great So let's take it coffee and you'll get eight
with a aty group.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
Okay, three, okay, put you one time?

Speaker 3 (00:39):
Take it.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Allen con Here we go, He'll add, he's the Allen
Cox Show on one hundred point seven double U M
m as.

Speaker 5 (00:55):
I don't have noticed the let me get some perfect music.
I don't know if that's appropriate music.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
There we go.

Speaker 6 (01:06):
Oh no, And I've noticed the kind of a heartbreaking
trend of Rob being down on himself and the way
his body looks. I don't want to sound like some
hippie dippy bull shrimp, but considering the assaults, men and
women are constantly bombarded with what's handsome and beautiful and hearing,
how Rob would quote never dream to where summer hoochy

(01:29):
daddy shorts would rob and by chance, even you ever
consider doing a do dwar photo shoot?

Speaker 5 (01:38):
Wow, I've already been naked on camera in front of
people that I work with. Okay, I've already I've already
earned my bona fides. Yeah, and that's someplace where're not
going to be equal. So you'll continue to have those
bona fides and I will not. I was buck naked
in a Alan Cochro comedy tour promo years ago. I
did see that, I mean jumped out of the car.
I got out of the car buck naked. Yeah, we

(01:59):
were doing a hangover parody. That's how long ago. That
was bare ass bare ass baby.

Speaker 6 (02:08):
Leslie says she did a boo Dwar photo shoot several
years ago and it really helped her develop and appreciation
for her body and all the things that have made
her feel horrifically insecure. My thing is just that the
best way to get, the only way out is through right.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
I've never met a nude beach I didn't like. She said.

Speaker 6 (02:31):
I know a man who did a due Dwar photo
shoot is a gift to his wife and she absolutely
loved it. How about that Leslie's concerned about you being
so down on yourself.

Speaker 5 (02:42):
Well, that's really nice, But unfortunately she's not the first,
nor will she be the last person to be concerned
about I'm down on myself.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
I am, That's just me.

Speaker 6 (02:49):
Have you ever had the conversation with your wife about
a du dwar photo?

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Absolutely not.

Speaker 6 (02:58):
George Castanza on the schist lounge.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Yeah, on the fainting count.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
There's just certain things that I'm very I'm amazingly self aware, right,
I understand what I'm carrying here. Right, I'm not the
ugliest fellow on the planet. I'm not the most fat,
not a shape guy on the planet. But I am
just ugly and fat, not a shape enough that I
don't want to be naked around.

Speaker 6 (03:24):
But what if you got yourself in shape for the
sole purpose of doing a dou dwar photo shoot for
your wife?

Speaker 5 (03:31):
Listen if yeah, my wife, listen, she has to live
next to it. You think she wants to see pictures
of it too? Here, honey, here's a gift of me.
Uh tub, Yeah, here you go.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Enjoy. Here's me neck deep in rose petals.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (03:46):
Look, you're saying, I'm saying that you like got yourself
into like a shape that you liked and then you
had them taken right right, that's the end of the line.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
I get a big goal and that's but what is
what is the what does she? Why would she want that?

Speaker 5 (04:02):
I don't know, I don't know your wife. Why would
anybody want that?

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Would? Leslie just said a lot of people enjoy it.

Speaker 5 (04:08):
I'm saying a good woman if that if her as
a woman, if her husband was like, hey, I got
you a gift and she hands him up, and he
hands with this booklet and she opens it up and
there he is, was like laying on a bearskin rug
with his ass hanging and I was like, hey, a
little smile, and you know he's dressed up like Cupid
for February.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
No, nobody wants that.

Speaker 6 (04:25):
It's something that she would spere it away in a
night stand or something that's not going to be on display.

Speaker 5 (04:30):
I display or not. But if you, if you want
to see it, you're laying next to it.

Speaker 6 (04:34):
Leslie says that the woman who got the Due Doir
photoshoot from her husband said that she really liked how
it helped him feel good about him.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, I know what's going to happen.

Speaker 5 (04:48):
Let's say I go through it right now, I booked
this session, and I go, You'll go psychotic over it,
and I see the photos, I will start screaming at
the top of my lungs about how terrible I look.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
Okay, oly, God, look at all that stuff.

Speaker 5 (05:02):
Look at my fat well, my fat pelly, my fat ass.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
This is terrible. Yeah, but there's power in owning it,
leaning in you know what else, there's power in not
doing that, not putting myself in that situation. All right,
avoid it completely.

Speaker 6 (05:17):
Yeah, it's not worth the chance that she might go,
this is amazing because it would be so counterintuitive, it
would be so against your personality that she go, this
is amazing. No, No, I'm literally seeing a side of you,
Rob that I've never seen before.

Speaker 5 (05:34):
She says that that's impossible. Yeah, she's seen every side
of me possible. The poor thing. I need to see
photos of it.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Wow. This has been who I am my entire life.

Speaker 6 (05:45):
Now, when you die your beard it will change overnight. Yeah,
who cares and people will go, oh hey. What makes
people nervous is when they do something to try it out.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
What makes them nervous.

Speaker 6 (05:59):
Is having other people think that they think it looks awesome.
That's what jams people up, rather than just going yeah,
I'm just trying it out. We'll see you know, people.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Have shaved their head and I'm trying it out because
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (06:13):
Man, Like I feel, like I mentioned earlier, I'm very
self aware. I feel like if I look at people
sometimes who think that their to pay looks perfectly.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Fine, right, or this is clearly not yours, right, and.

Speaker 5 (06:31):
They walk around with no concern or whatever, and I'm
like very judging.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
I'm like, oh my god, yea.

Speaker 6 (06:37):
But here's the thing, though, we are expending so much
time in that situation on somebody else and they are
expending zero.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Right, That's what I mean. That's where I want to get.

Speaker 6 (06:48):
But because that's the joke, Oh he thinks he looks great. No, no, no,
that's what we're projecting onto them. They just don't care
how it looks.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
But I want to be the the ultimate period, that's
the ultimate freedom.

Speaker 6 (07:00):
Everybody thinks that those people think, oh, they're kidding themselves.
They think it looks great, because the implication is, well,
if you thought otherwise, you wouldn't wear it. With forgetting
a lot of people they don't care they don't care.
To me, somebody wearning it to pay is no different
than somebody walking to the store in their pajamas. It's
the same thing. They do not care, And so why

(07:23):
am I gonna care? I care if somebody else thinks
obviously it's a it's obviously. Ever nobody can get away
from that. Of course I care what other people think,
but not strangers. I care what people I know think.
That's where I got it.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
You don't spend too much time on it. That's that's
my goal. That's what I'm working towards. That's why I
go to therapy. Well I do too.

Speaker 6 (07:47):
But if therapy didn't get me there, I mean, it's
I don't know, sooner or later you just go. What
am I wasting all this time for wondering? Because they're
not thinking about me, my thinking about them, for they're
thinking about me.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, well maybe I'll die, We'll see. I think you should.

Speaker 5 (08:04):
I think I'm just so nervous about looking like an
a hole. Well again, I shouldn't care. I put together
a song, Rob for your beard. Okay, It's called Rob's
Midnight Beer.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Rob a town with a smile, little grinder, this black,
this night, holding man fos there and whispered, ain't mas s?
But Rob just chuckling at the game begin?

Speaker 3 (08:30):
What did you do be?

Speaker 1 (08:33):
We all listen to the song to could his beard?

Speaker 3 (08:37):
Now he's the man with.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
The midnight beer, the man with the midnight beer. I
kind of like that.

Speaker 5 (08:43):
Come on, I'm telling you it could be Hollywood Rob
with the midnight beer.

Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yes, sounds pretty good. I'm all in favor of that.
Maybe I'll just do it.

Speaker 6 (08:52):
What do you say in the song? What did AI
say that you said in this song? Let the games begin?

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah? Yeah, it's gonna be a whole new chapter for me.
You should do it.

Speaker 6 (09:00):
In fact, before you do the stage announcements for ghost
How long is it?

Speaker 1 (09:04):
That's this Thursday night? How long does it take? Will
you do it tonight?

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Hmm?

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (09:11):
I will something light, something closer to your actual that's
the thing.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
You want to go too dark?

Speaker 7 (09:17):
Right?

Speaker 1 (09:17):
You want something better light than than too light than
too dark? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (09:21):
She get yourself like a box of Fairy of forty
or something so white. Yeah I did. Because you have
the goat. You're doing the state announcements a ghosts on
Thursday night?

Speaker 8 (09:33):
Right?

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah? Yeah, do it Wednesday night give it a day
to marinate.

Speaker 5 (09:38):
If I'm gonna do it before that, I'll do it tonight.
Oh yes, if I'm gonna do it, I gotta I
gotta convince myself before the end of the data stop
on my way home to pick up some just for men.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
There you go.

Speaker 6 (09:52):
Yes, Alan, My mom just asked me if you are transitioning. Yes,
I am into someone who would tell your mother to
go f herself.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
Tell me.

Speaker 9 (10:11):
Show it all is created in a place like this
by putting vincent pieces of sound together and building them all.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Up into what you hear. The Elly Cox Show on.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
W m M.

Speaker 1 (10:49):
You know who this is, Rob, we got the technical difficulties.
Hugh Anthony Craig the Third, better known as Huey lewis
this guy. I'll tell you what. When my friend was
in from Saint Louis, you and her husband, we were
having a couple of drinks before the nine inch Nails show.

(11:11):
They had come in for that.

Speaker 6 (11:13):
Just to reiterate how varied people's musical taste can be.
I know that mine run mcgammut, I love Seely Dan,
I love Lama, God and a lot of things in between.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
And I mentioned this because my friend's husband.

Speaker 6 (11:26):
They came all the way to Cleveland from Saint Louis
because Nine Inch Nails is his second favorite is his
favorite band. Second favorite band, Huey Lewis and the News
his second favorite band.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Our good buddy Jesse Schultz, who works.

Speaker 6 (11:39):
For this company huge Huey Lewis band, right, And so
now Huey Lewis sadly he doesn't perform anymore because he
is largely he's gone deaf. He's got something called many
airs disease, which is like an infection of the inner
ear or something where you get ten of this and
you get vertigo. And he can barely so he can't

(12:00):
hear music anymore. I mean, I can't imagine a worse
fate for a musician than not being able to hear
or perform music.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
But he finds different ways to be creative.

Speaker 6 (12:10):
And I only mention this because I and I was
telling my friend's husband. I go, I'm never mad when
I hear Huey Lewis. He's not like a guy that
I normally think of. It's not somebody who pops up
in a playlist of mine. But I'm never mad when
I hear Huey Lewis one of the first people I
was ever asked on this show by the audience to
hit the post. When when people started to get hit

(12:33):
to hitting the post, somebody asked me to hit the
post on Huey Lewis.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
From Huey Lewis, you gonna see this in the movie,
Hugh Lewis sounds the news of her body. What humbed
boys staid with all yo us. I mean it's the
laborer I love. There's nothing wrong with that at all,
but that Huey Lewis, who also, by the way, I

(12:57):
try to remind myself of this all the time. I
try to be glass half full.

Speaker 10 (13:00):
Guy.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
You got to take the rough with the smooth. I
said it moments ago. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (13:06):
Sure, Huey Lewis has many years disease. It's impossible really
for him to hear or perform music. But the guy's
got a kneeshooter too. This guy has a kidney cracker
the likes of Witch. The guy's seventy five years old
and he's tucking it into his sock. So I guess
that has got to be a glass half full type situation.

(13:31):
There is a listen, I'm a sucker for a mashup
and yeah it's pretty corny. But they're doing something called
Quack to the Future outside of Detroit and more Ducks.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Huh oh good, More Ducks.

Speaker 6 (13:47):
And Huey Lewis is somehow going to be part of that.
But Huey Lewis and the news boy anytime I hear him.
And again, he's seventy five years old. But if you
want to have a high old time, read Huey Lewis's
Wikipedia page, because this guy has kind of been kind

(14:09):
of like Zelig too. He has been in the background
of a lot of people's musical endeavors. He was in
a band called Clover in the early seventies and they
were best known for being Elvis Costello's backing band. So
that's kind of how Huey Lewis started. And his dad

(14:31):
was a lawyer or something. He was born in New York,
but his dad was a da outside of Boston, and
his mom had an affair with Lou Welch, who was
one of the big beat poets back in the day,
and then that became his stepdad. But Huey Lewis got

(14:52):
going with like a lot of other people, and he
backed up, He backed up Elvis cust for a while.
But anyway, all of that pales in comparison to the
fact that this guy has got a duct tape his
joint to the inside of his leg.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
Right went to Cornell University. Confirmed.

Speaker 5 (15:13):
Yeah, I told you I had a girl that I
dated and just after high school her mom used to
date the drummer of uh well date of course, the
drummery uh and yeah, humongous hog.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
She'd seen it.

Speaker 6 (15:27):
Yeah, it's like free way Bill from the Tubes. My
ex wife is good friends with fee way Bill, and
I love the Tubes.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
She's a beauty.

Speaker 6 (15:36):
Yeah, fee way Bill has got a kickstand man. This
guy can lean forward and he won't fall on his face.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
He really does.

Speaker 6 (15:44):
And good for him, right, good for him.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Sorry for all the craziness there.

Speaker 5 (15:51):
I spilled water right as we were coming back from
break on.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
I count on you to be the professional.

Speaker 5 (15:59):
I mean it was that when I tell you close,
I mean like that was right on the video stuff
just about it.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
I wasn't sure at first what was happening. I thought
something got unplugged. You're like, who's this?

Speaker 6 (16:09):
And then I and then I saw you coming with
paper towels. I was like, oh yeah, I didn't know
if something got into the machinery or it was close.

Speaker 5 (16:19):
It was close, not like I'm working with a ton
of audio and video equipment.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
Orning and open cups of water rot. Yeah I know.
Come you think I'm a professional, Well listen, I'll make mistakes.
I don't have to tell you. I'm not sure the
last time I spilled something bone and m m hmm. Man,

(16:47):
that was close.

Speaker 5 (16:50):
It was like that bounty commercial where it's creeping towards
something and everybody goes right, Yeah, see those commercials where
they knock some water over in slow motion.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
It hit my keyboard, but that was it. So thankfully
it didn't didn't do a whole didn't gum up the
works or anything like that.

Speaker 5 (17:07):
No, okay, thank god, Oh goodness, that's exactly it.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
And I was like running trying to catch it.

Speaker 5 (17:16):
I pushed it all off the under the floor and
I got a bunch on gent's chairs.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
So if thanks try tomorrow. Sorry Jen, Why is Judge
Patshadow's seat? So we noose at eleven.

Speaker 5 (17:29):
On nineteen Blame Rob Anthony, Wow, Jeff and Walton Hills.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Alan. Yesterday you got snippy about seeing tucka Muck first run.
No I didn't, I said, I didn't see it first run.
It's from nineteen fifty four.

Speaker 6 (17:46):
Sorry, we forgot your parents are strict and didn't think
three was old enough to watch cartoons. Well, listen, we
didn't have cable, right, We only had four channels.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
We had the local affiliates, We.

Speaker 6 (17:57):
Had the PBS channel, Channel eleven, and once in a while,
on like a rainy night, we would get some television
stations from Wisconsin. But you know, public television is where
I got into Monty Python and Blackadder and those kinds
of shows.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
They would show them on Saturday nights.

Speaker 6 (18:18):
But yeah, I have cable, and so I had like
a Best of Looney Tunes or something on VHS, and
ducka Muck was part of that. And to this day
it remains probably my favorite cartoon. But no, I did
not watch it first run. It was from I didn't
realize how old it was until I googled it.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
It's from nineteen fifty four.

Speaker 6 (18:40):
Alan, I have a bunch of ducks across the street
from me. I live at Lorraine in one seventeenth and
they're making that laughing noise all day long. Yeah, they
make the noise all day long. Right, that's Rob's backyard.
Aaron and Akron correctly pointing out they've never even considered
Lewis for induction into the rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

(19:03):
I wonder why that is. It's not that he's not
a prolific guy.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
Right.

Speaker 6 (19:07):
You never see Huey Lewis's name associated with the rock and.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Roll Hall of Fame. Nope. But I always well you
you can never make the case that he's not rock
and roll.

Speaker 6 (19:16):
He told you the heart of rock and roll was
still beating in Cleveland.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Yeah, Detroit, how that rock and roll? David Lee Roth
used that he could have done that part.

Speaker 6 (19:29):
He could have done it, David Lee Roth going out
with U. How to rock and roll? Great song?

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Now?

Speaker 1 (19:39):
I am partial to I know, a heart of rock
and roll, big big song.

Speaker 6 (19:43):
H for Huey Lewis and the News, I am partial
to heart and soul.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
That's what I say.

Speaker 6 (19:49):
They're all good, Alan, Huey Lewis played harmonica on a
lot of Finn Lizzy Wreck. That's what I was thinking
of Finn Lizzy. I knew it didn't begin an end
with Elvis Costello. He wrote with Phil Lennet.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
That's what I mean.

Speaker 6 (20:00):
Like Huey Lewis was a guy back then, right, Phil
Lennet kind of took him under his wing, Which makes sense,
right Phil Lynnett a black British guy or Irish rather,
he's like, look at his cracker with the schlong let
spiget us out showing him up. Yeah, Ellen, it's about

(20:28):
time we blame that wet seed and the Cli Rattler. Listen,
congratulations Robbie rat Alan Finn Lizzy not being in the
Rock and Roll Hall of Famous insane. Yes, I agree,
I agree, man, there's a billion of them.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
I should do another one of those weekends.

Speaker 6 (20:44):
It's been a while snubble shot bands that have not
been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
I mean, if you were going to do top ten
rock songs, I'd easily put jail break on them. Of course,
you know everybody would immediately. You know, for a lot
of people, they could immediately fill it up with the
Stones or Zeppelin or whatever. I would put jail break

(21:05):
on there somewhere tonight. Jail Yeah, that's all you get.

Speaker 11 (21:11):
I like that.

Speaker 6 (21:14):
Allen w What is that sitting against the Bureau chief
map that is a listener's really really poor attempted humor.
Somebody sent Rob a parrot head parking only sign. Hmmm,
because of course Rob, Hey, I'm working, Because of course
Rob loads anything associated with one. James Buffett Esquire, Yeah,

(21:35):
doesn't like the music, stops short of celebrating his demise.
Would never He's not a monster, but certainly doesn't enjoy
the music. Sean and Bedford. I think Rob's only legal
natural solution is hoping that local birds of prey will
figure out.

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Where those dice think they bring them in at night.

Speaker 6 (21:54):
Well, I was gonna say, though, don't birds of prey
go after well, I'll go after other am I completely wrong?

Speaker 1 (22:02):
No, I think they would. They go after ducks.

Speaker 5 (22:04):
I think they would go any and if they're hungry enough,
I think you go after anything, right. I thought that
they were like focused on carrion.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Maybe not.

Speaker 5 (22:12):
You know, everybody's got stories of like birds that'll come
down and like grab a cat or a hamster, little dog.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, something like that. Hawks will grab a little dogs
and stuff, So maybe maybe that's what they're talking about,
like ducks. But yeah, look I don't know, man, Oh God,
just triggering now here at work. You're gonna get it
from me.

Speaker 5 (22:29):
Now, Look, I now imagine this, right Yeah, And I
go outside and I'm trying to have a beer grilling
after a long day of work.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
They see if they said I did air quotes when
I said work. Yeah, and I listen to that. That's
what I'm hearing the entire time. You could you speaking
of grilling. You know where I'm going.

Speaker 6 (22:49):
Oh, this guy goes out and every day there's one
lesson duck.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Yeah, and he just smells duck breasts. And then one
morning he goes out and it's silent.

Speaker 6 (23:01):
There is a single duck making a single noise, and
over that period of time he puts two and two together.
He's like, oh my god, it is like the end
of the Usual Suspects. Right, Yeah, he goes, oh my god.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
Every night Rob has been grilling out there, and I
never put it together.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
Until now.

Speaker 6 (23:25):
Is there any way that you could get out there
undercover of moonlight? And maybe you know, listen, let's say
what it is. You snap a duck's neck, you bring
it back, you throw it on the grill, and you know,
I think he brings them in. You've got neighbor pet alarrange.

Speaker 1 (23:42):
He brings them in.

Speaker 5 (23:43):
I think they put them in like the garage or
something at night. Why, I don't know. Are they in
a probably for the same reason they have twelve dons,
I know. But are they in a pen? Yeah, he
has a pen bill. You can see it kind of
in that video I sent you.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
So, I guess my question is what is the point
of this? That's a great question, huh. And if I
wasn't so.

Speaker 5 (24:04):
Anti talking to people I don't know, I would ask
what the point of it is? I would rather just
go on the radio and bitch about it. I understand,
because that's a lot easier than actually having a talk
to somebody who I don't know and out of the shoot.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
Don't want to talk to.

Speaker 6 (24:19):
Hey, listen, this is for better or worse, where we
come to air our grievances. Yep, it's where the audience
sometimes comes to air their grievances.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
Yeah, I know. I don't wish any harm on animals.
I just I don't want ducks.

Speaker 12 (24:35):
I know.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
If I wanted ducks, I would have ducks. Doesn't mean
they're not annoying.

Speaker 5 (24:38):
Oh, they're obnoxious, beyond obnoxious, Like I said, especially the
one that heard that joke every single time, every ten seconds.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
It's not that funny. You know you should do is
you should go out there and you did stand up
back in the day. Uh huh. You should go out
there and start telling and jokes to them.

Speaker 6 (25:00):
Just stand there with a microphone that's not plugged in,
and they just record yourself doing a set in front
of these ducks, and then you edit it and then
it sounds like they're just having a high old time.

Speaker 5 (25:10):
I'd be kind of funny to just just do straight
duck humor. A duck walks into a bar. What did
he say?

Speaker 3 (25:20):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (25:22):
I put it on my bill. See you know I
like that way. Yeah, I'm getting too much from him.
But why was the baby duck sad? He was feeling down?

Speaker 8 (25:38):
Hey?

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Yeah, Hey, what do you guys like to eat with
your cheese quackers? What time does a duck wake up
in the morning? The quack of dawn? I might do it? Yeah,

(26:05):
why not? Who's standing in the guy's backyard?

Speaker 6 (26:08):
Hi, everybody, Alan, I had a pet duck that was
killed by a hawk, the hawk broker neck.

Speaker 1 (26:15):
How about that? You know what you should do? You
should introduce your neighbor to your brand new pet coyote.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
Right.

Speaker 6 (26:24):
I mean, if this person really wants ducks so badly,
let's see how much they want. And when they're inside
all day long? They're inside, not just at night. I
can't imagine. How are they sleeping at night? Are ducks nocturnal? Alan,
redtail and red shoulder hawks eat squirrels, rats, chipmunks, pigeons,
turkey vultures only eat dead things. Eagles and osprey mainly

(26:48):
eat fish. All right, thank you ornithologist. Are they raising
Leo wants to know.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Are they raising those ducks to eventually eat them themselves?
I don't know. Are they future food?

Speaker 5 (27:04):
I don't know, But I also know that they sell
duck breast in every single grocery store.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
And there's like twelve of them in the diner. Now
go buy some. What do you see when a duck
bends over, it's not quack.

Speaker 6 (27:26):
Maybe you should release thirty to fifty faral hogs into
your backyard.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
See what happens there.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
I'm just saying, there's a lot of room to play
with this duck situation.

Speaker 10 (27:39):
There is.

Speaker 5 (27:40):
See you're again you said it yesterday or day before.
You are first and foremost an optimist, I'm looking at
the negative.

Speaker 13 (27:48):
I know.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
I'm just saying there's no downside to being an optimist.

Speaker 14 (27:51):
Right.

Speaker 6 (27:51):
If you go in thinking this is gonna work. When
it doesn't, you go, Okay, let's go on to the
next thing. Then let's figure out something else.

Speaker 5 (27:57):
If I went and just did, I should dress up
and like a leisure suit and just go do five
minutes with the ducks'd be great. And imagine they just
stop like I'm that bad that they just stop laughing,
like the quacking just ends. That's the way they can
keep them at base to tell them bad jokes.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
And that's ultimately what you want. And then I have
to go do stand up for ducks. Yeah, but.

Speaker 4 (28:24):
Everybody, Hey, that's got out.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Tell you what, Hey, duck, couple of lake plants for
the night albums? Now they didn't. I don't mind you
like that one. Hey, the duck wants to the doctor.
Want the doctor tell them you're fat? You have perfect

(28:52):
villa health.

Speaker 14 (29:00):
You guys like, I'll tell you what the road for
a while here, Ah, what do you call a successful duck?
A wattle citizen?

Speaker 8 (29:15):
That's what.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
I'll be back tomorrow.

Speaker 6 (29:18):
I'm back tomorrow, same time, same Duck Channel, thank you, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
The comedic silence rob Affery, but Duck Commenium. But he's
a duck, but the Duck's love.

Speaker 15 (29:37):
The alley Cocks Show on one point seven w MMS.

Speaker 3 (29:43):
The alley Cock Show.

Speaker 5 (29:44):
Hey, this is show business people, Okay, it's not real
time fun and such.

Speaker 6 (29:53):
Speaking of the iHeartRadio app, there's that talkback button there.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
You can always leave us messages if you like.

Speaker 3 (29:58):
What up Game?

Speaker 10 (29:59):
Yesterday Show? And when let me till Pere's Builton comes
on the intro song. I know it's pre recorded, but
it always sounds like Mary or pound Cake. But I
think Mary. It sounds like she's singing like along with
it on the high note, like it's like she's harmonizing

(30:21):
with it. It just sounds like that to me. All
right by you, she is not.

Speaker 6 (30:26):
I would like to hear simply because it is one
of her favorite bits of the entire week.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
And so go ahead single. Sorry, Mary, that was your
cue to come in.

Speaker 16 (30:40):
With me.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
I was singing that whole myself, harmonized in the way
that you're so prone to do. Getting the sense that
she's not taking it serious.

Speaker 8 (30:57):
That's my singing voice. It's not as good listen, yes
it is.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
You don't know me, maybe it is.

Speaker 6 (31:23):
Maybe, Oh boy, hmm, all right, Alan, you keep lying
and not admitting you're wrong like the rest of your
liberal friends. Yeah, everything about Biden and Fauci apparently lying
all the time because that Alex Jones club is like,

(31:43):
I'm not Fauci, I don't lie, boy, Anthony Faucci was
the greatest thing to ever happen to these dopes somebody
to hang their hat on. But also he's not even
like in the government anymore, and they're like.

Speaker 17 (31:57):
Fauci, this is how things were going to more information,
things change, and that's not for some people.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
I know, it's ridiculous, by the way, what happened?

Speaker 6 (32:08):
And I've had a couple of people ask me, mary Lynn,
what what happened in that tick that you had on
your arm before we went to break You had some
big old puss filled It wasn't didn't you have a
fluid filled pustewel.

Speaker 18 (32:22):
In your body or something?

Speaker 1 (32:23):
It's so cold in here, no fluid filled turn it up.

Speaker 18 (32:27):
It's almost god.

Speaker 6 (32:29):
Oh yeah, right, you had ringworm underneath your opening for
a chimera. By the way, on May thirteenth, ringworm.

Speaker 8 (32:34):
My m circle is opening for chimera in case you
didn't want up. Yeah, so it's just like faint. I
started putting a loutremin ultra on it.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
It started to go away.

Speaker 6 (32:44):
Turn that up a little bit. I'm gonna yeah, Oh
it's okay. Because I came in after having a whizz
and I was like, what's chili in here? It was
so hunger so hot during the meeting. Yeah, because all
that body heat. There's rarely that many people here. What'd
you turn it up to seventy two?

Speaker 1 (32:59):
Not even get to that by the time the shows
that will moves baby Pulp can move.

Speaker 8 (33:04):
Yeah, you can't really tell anymore. I mean you can
see like a barely an outline of it. But I
because I bought the loutreman specifically for ringworm, and I
wasn't doing anything, so I switched to They make low
Triman specifically for work, may get specifically for ringworm for athletes,
for like. But is the different kind that's in the
description or is the name on the bottle loa Triman ringworm?

Speaker 1 (33:28):
It's called ringworm? Is it coming to tube? Yes, just
like regular lutrimen. And so that wasn't working. I don't
know anything about loa triman. I've heard of it, but
anti fungal cream and I hope I never have to
know anything low triman ring worms.

Speaker 8 (33:42):
I switched from loutriman ringworm to Loutreman ultra and there
is trim aff.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
Yeah that's what I have. Wow, I got ringworm af Son.

Speaker 18 (33:53):
Yeah it's it's clear enough.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
So you don't know what you had.

Speaker 8 (33:57):
No, but whatever, this lochman's working because you have frush
that was in my mouth.

Speaker 6 (34:02):
I understand. It's just something that people don't normally get sure.
So we were rightly concerned that your ringworm might have
been a bigger deal.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
And thank god it's not well cream action curring it
up trim af Athletes foot ringworm. Jock Itch.

Speaker 6 (34:23):
I gotta say I was a wrestler for many years
high school, part of college. You can get sweaty, yes,
of course, athletes. I never understood, jock itch.

Speaker 1 (34:35):
And you know that it's just a use infection of
the skin.

Speaker 6 (34:38):
Yeah, yes, it seems to me. Maybe you've got too
many folds. If that's happened, I don't have job. Oh no, guys,
you don't have a jock. Jock Itch it's a nice
way of saying, hey, clean yourself or I don't know.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
I mean people get sweaty, and I understand bodies are different.
Sungle action on you junk. It's not on your junk, actually,
get it's on your junk or you're inner thigh or
your ass or you know, in a kitchen.

Speaker 8 (35:07):
So in the shock area, he'd work like fourteen hour
days in a hot kitchen and he'd get.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
That, homie. I worked in restaurants for many You're never
in the kitchen though, in and out of the kitchen
all night long.

Speaker 8 (35:19):
Not the same as being in front of a fryer
or a hot grill for fourteen straight hours.

Speaker 6 (35:24):
Yeah, how do you you get jocketch from being in
front of the hot grilling the whole day?

Speaker 3 (35:29):
Sixty?

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Yeah, but then you go home in your shower, right,
But if you but sixteen hours in front of bow, yeah,
it happens. Well, clearly it does.

Speaker 6 (35:40):
I'm just saying like after a long day of working
the grill, I mean, going home and shower every night
doesn't fix it.

Speaker 17 (35:47):
Not if you were That's a thing. It might be
if you're very sweaty in front of the grip, because
it would happen. Uh, when I would work work for
my dad, because you're outside working all day in your
sweating and stuff like that, so you have to gold.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Bound up the old boys down there. You stayed drying
the cro are croutchel. That's a fun word. Can we
ask Mary about her long lost brother? I don't know
what that means.

Speaker 8 (36:14):
Oh, I knew this was gonna come up after I
did Crystal Quantico.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
I've never talked about this on air. Well, this is
from Chris mcwonzica.

Speaker 8 (36:23):
Yeah, I've never talked about it on air before, but
I did do a bit. I have a bit about
how after my dad died, Uh, we found out that.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
He might have another kid. Oh, a secret family. See,
not a secret family. So it's another kid is a
secret family, right, It's.

Speaker 8 (36:36):
Uh, it's not as flashy as I make it sound
in the joke. Obviously it's embellished for the joke. But
essentially what happened was have.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
They ever embellished any of my jokes? By the way,
You're right?

Speaker 8 (36:48):
Essentially, So the day that I wrote my dad's obituary,
I came over to my sister's house and everybody was
there and I was like reading it to them, and
I was like, how does this sound. My mom and
my one brother were super quiet and weird, and I
was like what. My mom was like, well, you might
have to add someone to that obituary. And I was like,
who did I leave out? And she like her my
brother kept being weird, and I was like what, Like,

(37:08):
tell me what's going on. This was to my mom
and my oldest brother, and you were in the dark,
but not everybody. So everybody else was just my mom
and my oldest brother apparently knew about this, and I
was like, we're you talking about and she goes, your
dad might have another kid out there. I was like,
what do you mean he might have another kid to
I guess when my mom and my dad first started dating,

(37:32):
he was also hooking up with a married lady, and
he got the married lady pregnant, but she never she
had a husband, so she never told her husband I
was sleeping with somebody else and non pregnant, So she
and my dad just called things off, and then he
started seeing my mom. So this married lady never told

(37:52):
her husband that their kid might not be there. I
was like, Mom, so what you want us to do
is call this dude that no one in our family
has ever had any type of.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
Interaction with saying you dead, and say the dad that
you grew up knowing is.

Speaker 8 (38:10):
Not your real dad and your real dad is dead,
and also none of this might be true.

Speaker 1 (38:14):
Can't you take a DNA test?

Speaker 8 (38:16):
Kid?

Speaker 1 (38:16):
Doesn't mean right?

Speaker 8 (38:17):
She was helbent on the phone, by gones, she was
helbent on the fact, like, that is your father's son,
and you need to tell him he has a right
to know. I'm like, we're not blown up this guy's
life right now.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
That's ridiculous. He's not ten, he's forty, right.

Speaker 8 (38:32):
Yeah, he was the same age as my older brother.
So my mom got pregnant shortly after this lady got pregnant.
So that's why my older brother knew about it.

Speaker 3 (38:39):
Wow.

Speaker 8 (38:40):
But yeah, so that's I have a joke about it
where I talk about finding out my dad had another
kid and.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
How did name the name? In the joke?

Speaker 8 (38:47):
No, his real name is I say the name Carl
in the joke because it's a funny name.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
What's the joke? It's like a three minutes. How did
it turn out though? Did he end up coming or no?
We didn't even content? No, there's no way to do
it on a dl Yeah.

Speaker 8 (39:00):
Yeah, there's no point in And can you even do
a DNA test if the person's dead, Like, would they
be able to compare it to my dad's DNA?

Speaker 6 (39:07):
They wad they would probably be able to guys compare
it to you. Guys, they need four We have different moms. Yeah,
but you're right, but your dad's DNA is still in
your body. If there was any kind of match, they
would go, yeah, this is your brother.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
fIF matched with this person. I was like, haven't you
ever heard of like twenty three and meters that's what
they do?

Speaker 8 (39:24):
Yeah, I guess, but yeah, my mom my mom brought
it up because her thought process was well though.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
You say, wish she could include him in the obituary.
I'm like, Mom, no, nobody's ever met this guy.

Speaker 6 (39:33):
You get these people who are insistent on I say
this what I call this throwing tax in the road.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
There's no points. I accuse Gwenn of this all the time.

Speaker 6 (39:40):
We'll be doing something with our daughter or something, and
the situation will be sent Yeah, this is what's going
to happen, and Gwen will go, well, maybe you like
to do I go, there's mom throwing tax in the
road again. Yes, that's right, your you know and women, right,
it's just trying to be cool. But I mean, uh,
that's what your mom's doing, throwing tax in the road. Yes,
this is a that situation. This isn't going to improve

(40:02):
anyone's life.

Speaker 8 (40:03):
That's exactly what we were saying when we were like, Mom,
there's zero benefit.

Speaker 6 (40:06):
It's a guy he didn't know, right, would you care
if a stranger died?

Speaker 1 (40:10):
No, exactly.

Speaker 8 (40:11):
And now what now you're gonna if his parents are
still married, We're gonna blow up their marriage?

Speaker 1 (40:15):
Right, Maybe he cares that he's got a celebrity sister,
the Marya headlining Hilarity is January fifteen. Did you immediately
look him up on Facebook and see what he looks like?

Speaker 6 (40:26):
So, I guess my brother when trouble is you also
want to make sure that this dude's not hot, so
that none of you Okay, my brother.

Speaker 8 (40:33):
Older brother went to school with him. So he's showing
us pictures and then everyone and then everyone's.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Like, oh, he definitely looks like dad. I was like,
we all look so generic.

Speaker 8 (40:41):
We're all just blonde haired, green eyed kids, Like we
all look like every other white person so something.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
But you know, if somebody looks like you, I mean
not really okay, but how can you how can you
play that cool when you have a half brother maybe
but it's not even we don't even know if it's
for sure him.

Speaker 6 (40:59):
But I don't know, a lot of eggs in that basket,
but in the maybe basket, I don't know if I
could do that, like going to school seeing this dude
every day a half brother.

Speaker 8 (41:09):
I don't know that my brother knew about it at
all time at the time, Okay, they were friends on
Facebook because they went to school together, so I think
my mom or dad might have told him down the road.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
I don't think that my brother knew that growing up.
If you are the half brother, and you know Colin
right now two on six seven eight one, he knows.

Speaker 8 (41:29):
No one contacted him, no one reached out or anything.
Unless his mom opened up about this story, she'll take
it care of some reason.

Speaker 1 (41:37):
I can't imagine she would.

Speaker 19 (41:38):
Because think about all the child like maybe not child
spar but if they got divorced, and like kids come
into play once they's divorced, like custody, this guy had
to uproot his life to take care of this kid,
and wouldn't it could possibly not be his kid. I
have trust issues. I'm not even straight and I got
trust issues. That's ridiculous.

Speaker 6 (41:58):
This twenty I have a twenty three and me in
process as we speak, because I don't, you know, I'm
always like, I don't really know what I am. I
did like an ancestry dot Com thing, but that's not
a DNA thing. That's like tracing your family through whatever.
So I finally did a twenty three in me and
they give you a timeline and they said, we're genotyping
your whatever, and so it's going to be done in

(42:20):
a few weeks. But what comes out of these I
want to know if I'm well sure, Irish or whatever.
I know i'm white, but I want to know more
specifically than that. On my dad's side. We know what
we are on my mom's side. But what comes out
of these a lot more and more is people finding
out that they have siblings. I'm not concerned about that, yeah,

(42:41):
but a lot of people, and these companies are starting
to tell people, hey, FYI, when you do these twenty
three and me, if there's anything hinky in your family,
you might find out some things you don't it's like
in the disclaimer. Now, when I took the thing out,
they go, hey, f why I just so you know,
I don't remember how legalese they put it in diplomatically

(43:03):
in corporate speak, but you know, results may differ from
the familial, you know whatever.

Speaker 8 (43:09):
So actually the night that my mom told us all
about that was the same night my my Brian, why
can't I talk about.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
Him right side, said honey, no, it's the first night
that he met my family.

Speaker 8 (43:22):
Yeah, so everyone was in town obviously because my dad
passed away, and the night that he came over for
the first time to meet all my brothers and sisters
is when this bomb was dressed on everybody. And we
kind of walked outside because we were leaving not shortly
after that we had to get his daughter home, and
I was like kind of messed up, and I was
like angry and aggravated and all this kind of stuff.

(43:42):
And I like, as soon as we stepped outside of
my sister's house, Brian looks at me and he just goes, Jeerry, Jeerry, Jude.
I was like, I don't even know, Like, this is
not the way I thought you were going to meet
my family.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
To be honest with you.

Speaker 6 (43:55):
Yeah, what if you found out that this dude had
purchased a bunch of footpicks from you.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
That would be weird if he ended up being my
half brother. Oh so gross. I mean, fans, if on
my sisters, I recognize those feet, yeah.

Speaker 8 (44:16):
Like if we had the same feet, Like he bought
the pictures of mine and he's like, wait a minute,
those are just like mine.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
Those are dad's feet.

Speaker 6 (44:23):
I could just be taking pictures of my own feet
mm hmm. And my jaw dropped when Mary did that
joke on stage.

Speaker 8 (44:31):
Yeah, I well, because I've never talked about it on
air before, but I do it in my stand up routine.
I have a whole you know, section about my dad
passing away, and that's one part of it. And uh,
I'm actually surprised that it's taken this long for somebody
to say something about it, because I was like, I'm
not going to bring it up if it comes up
after someone sees the show. And I've been I mean,
I've been doing that joke since my dad died. I've
been doing that joke almost two years.

Speaker 18 (44:52):
So there you go.

Speaker 8 (44:54):
No one has come for no one's blown up the
spot and no one said it. They're two, you know,
they're two. They want to keep it professional, keep the peace,
that's right. They're too embarrassed. They're like, they don't want
to ask. I don't want to, but they don't want
to be the guy who asks for him.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
I would.

Speaker 5 (45:12):
I'm sure there would be a part of your brain
that would want information you didn't have. But by the
time you're forty and you have your own family or
your own kids, like, who cares. I didn't know this
guy when he was alive. Who cares if I find out?

Speaker 1 (45:25):
Right?

Speaker 8 (45:26):
Only downside's there was no positives to the situation. And
that's what we were all trying to tell my mom.
And she's like, I don't know. That's why I'm so
surprised you guys had the post.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
She loves it.

Speaker 8 (45:36):
She loves drama more than any person, my mom, more
than any person ever.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
Is so unnecessary. She just likes trauma.

Speaker 6 (45:41):
Man, she likes blowing up other people's lives. Oh yeah, actually,
well that goes beyond drama. I mean drama's like did
you hear what, Jane? Did it work? That's drama.

Speaker 8 (45:50):
She would be like, did you Jane did? I'm gonna
call her yea, make sure he knows if you remember
Afro Man. Remember Afro Man, he had one big hit, yeah,
becase as I got high. And he lives in Ohio.
He lives in suburban Cincinnati. I think we talked about
this a while ago, that the sheriff's deputies rolled into
this guy's joint knocking down doors, and because they were

(46:15):
looking for all they said, they were looking for drug trafficking,
and somebody had accused him of human trafficking all kinds
of They were bound and determined to find some kind
of trafficking, and they took some pot, took about five
grand in cash, but they didn't file any charges. But

(46:35):
they came in hot because all these local municipalities, now
you know, they have tanks and all kinds of stuff,
so you know they're going to serve a bench warrant
and they're rolling through the whole place anyway. Afroman, always
ready to polish a turd, always ready to find the

(46:57):
silver lining, has already created two new songs on them subject.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
One of them is called Lemon pound Cake.

Speaker 11 (47:08):
The Adams County Share Kick down My Door.

Speaker 20 (47:12):
Then I heard the glass Pray, very literal song around
no kidnapping victims.

Speaker 3 (47:21):
Pound okay.

Speaker 20 (47:28):
By the boardwalk right, it made the share of one
of the down his gun and cut him off.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Fly all right, So you know he's got lemon pound
cake s got it?

Speaker 3 (47:43):
Man?

Speaker 1 (47:44):
You still got a Dafro man?

Speaker 8 (47:46):
You are?

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Oh yeah, look at me. I look like a ghost
now because the son is beating right on my face.
Do you want my sunglasses?

Speaker 13 (47:53):
No?

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Thank you?

Speaker 6 (47:55):
The Tortoiseshell and then the other song is called will
you help Me Repair My Door? Because obviously he incurred
some costs from them just rolling in and tearing through
the place. You can stream these, he'll get a cut.
He's just trying to make his way in the world.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Show you the video, man, will you help me repair
my game?

Speaker 11 (48:26):
Will you help me repair my door? Did you find
what you're looking for? Will you help me repair.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
My game?

Speaker 6 (48:42):
In yeah, so listen, he's uh, he's trying to make
diamonds from rust. That's the but God bless Afroman. Now,
I don't know in fact that he's not trafficking drugs
or people. They just didn't find any evidence to support that.

(49:03):
I think he had to sue them to get his
money back, because that's that's the sneaky thing too. They'll
just come in take stuff and then you got to
fight tooth and nail to get it back.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Yeah, the seizures that they do are pretty dirty at times.
Yeah's pretty egregious.

Speaker 6 (49:21):
I mean he had to really fight tooth and nail
to get his five grand back, and they gave him
forty six hundred back because of course minus.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
What a four hundred dollars convenience.

Speaker 6 (49:31):
Feems processing processing? Well, you know all that stuff we
took from you, we had to process it, so that's.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
What the four hundred dollars.

Speaker 19 (49:40):
The same thing with your comic books, Like we're going
to charge you a fee since these comic books cost
them much.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
Right, but they're performing a service.

Speaker 6 (49:47):
When the cops come in and roll through Afroman's gait
in his door and start taking his lemon pound cake
and then charge him four hundred dollars, they're not providing
a service to the alley Cock.

Speaker 21 (50:00):
Go.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
This is the very epitome of rebellion. It is anarchic.

Speaker 22 (50:10):
That new Bill Audio, New Bill Audio, what do you
mean peace instagramming from the hospital.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Oh he is, yeah, let me see if I can
get it.

Speaker 17 (50:22):
Had a couple of cats cans now and those are
weird that went to ad just so they can see
all the blood vessels and stuff like that like that.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
I'm fine. I don't feel bad.

Speaker 17 (50:36):
It's just we're just being pre conscious and I've taken
a lot of I've done a lot of tests.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
Today and uh yeah, we'll see what happen, big feet.
Grandma's impressed by my extra extra Grandma's there too.

Speaker 10 (50:50):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
One visitor. He's getting visitors. Oh God, love him.

Speaker 6 (50:59):
Here it textode feel better soon build. There's no goddamn
way I'll be able to stick with the show if
it's just you three congratulations.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
So well, there's a lot of estrogen in this iteration
of the show commentary of Bill.

Speaker 6 (51:13):
Well, sure, you know, like we've said, there are listeners
who individually hate each one of us yep, and in
different permutations and can be more or less exciting for someone.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
So you're to rub my eyes now?

Speaker 22 (51:28):
Why you had that where you like rub your eyes
so hard that it like it goes blind for like
a second.

Speaker 6 (51:32):
Well, if you get little floaters or whatever, like yeah, sure,
but I mean it does make my eye go blind.

Speaker 22 (51:37):
I mean, you know, well it does for me sometimes
so I try not to rub them's. Yeah, try not
to rub, but it feels good. You ever just rub
your eye for like a while.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
Yes, I am a.

Speaker 6 (51:49):
Human being, contrary to popular opinion, and I have done
all those things.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Yes are you? When I have an itch, I scratch
it and that feels real good.

Speaker 8 (51:57):
I do.

Speaker 1 (51:58):
Ain't no shame in my scratch.

Speaker 6 (52:02):
This woman gets a DUI and tells the cop that
she shouldn't be arrested because she's a thoroughbred white girl.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
The hell does that mean?

Speaker 6 (52:11):
Some dashcam video? Now again, this isn't a girl who's
twenty or twenty one years old. She's thirty two. She
ran a four way stop sign doing sixty miles per hour.
They pulled her over, and she's hammered, gets a duy
speeding disregarding a stop sign, and possession of marijuana. She

(52:32):
was living it up, but she told officers she couldn't
believe this is how it was going down because she
was quote a very clean, thoroughbred white girl. When an
officer asked what she meant, she said, you're a cop,
you know what I mean? Oh damn, hey, guess what
we all know what you mean, dear, But still a
little too old. So she's I'm in trouble, but I'm white.

(52:55):
There's some cringe inducing dashcam audio starts again. She's thirty two,
which is important because she starts crying about her high
school grade point average and what what a great life
she I don't know.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
What you know.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
I was a student.

Speaker 3 (53:13):
I was it. My American high school student.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
Was a good cheerleader, I mean.

Speaker 3 (53:22):
The whole life, whole life.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
She was an honor guard cheerleader. Is that a thing?

Speaker 8 (53:28):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
I don't even know what that is. No, I think
you said all American. Oh, you're pulling over for this,
driving to.

Speaker 6 (53:39):
Pass a whole career, ruin her whole career doing what pulling?
I like how it's always the other person's fault. You've
ruined my career by pulling me over for driving drunk.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
President, I'm moving in jail.

Speaker 16 (53:55):
I don't want to know what is life.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
I don't want to know in lane about a pretty girl.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
Please me going there.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
I'm a pretty girl.

Speaker 6 (54:03):
Yeah, the thoroughbred white girl. Thing that's not on the
dash cam, but you know. Still, she thought she'd get
a why. She couldn't process why they were booking her
for this, she said her partner was a police officer.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
I don't know what that. I guess that's the white
girl version of I have a black friend.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 22 (54:26):
I think if it were me and I was being
arrested for the first time, I would probably cry. I'd
probably be very upset, obviously, or upset with myself, mostly
if it was something that I did.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Wrong, whatever. But I think I would just take it,
take it, and let.

Speaker 22 (54:41):
The process happen, and be respectful when I get to
the jail when they're booking, Just be as polite as possible.
Just be as you know, forthcoming and respectful as I
possibly could, because how is it going to be any
better for you doing all of that or any move
you make will cost you your job if they're arresting
do yeah, Like, at least if there's an article about

(55:03):
me in the paper, I want the officer on TV
to be like, well, you know, she she got arrested for,
you know, punching a dog, but she was very polite
to the police officer.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
And not that I'd punch a dog.

Speaker 6 (55:14):
But I certainly don't think dog punchers are going to
be polite and respectful to law enforcement.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
Boy, she really was. She was the exception that proved
the rule.

Speaker 22 (55:22):
I just couldn't think of a crime I'd be arrested for,
so just insert crime here, you know. But she cooperated
with the police officers, and she was very respectful. I
would like them to put that, you know, selling a
scooter from my mouth shots terrible and I'm like, you know,
we found.

Speaker 6 (55:35):
Her holding a decapitated head, but she was so respectful,
you know. She set the head down on the lawn,
didn't want to tell us whose it was, and it
was so matted with blood and bugs that we really
couldn't id on site.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
But she was so nice the whole way through that. Boy,
we just you know, it was a pleasure to book
her for murder. I gotta tell you, I wouldn't commit
a murder. You're wasting it.

Speaker 19 (56:02):
You're wasting a valuable chance to be a voluble chance, yeah,
a valuable chance to be you can say it right.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
You just don't let them do it to be uh disorderly,
because you can do that. I can't do that. I
gotta put my hands on, I gotta have my hood off,
my hands.

Speaker 22 (56:16):
Up off footnote of the article to say Erica was
very polite to a police, very cooperative.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
You've got to be.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Ratchet in my place because I can't do that. I
don't have that luck.

Speaker 13 (56:27):
Ray.

Speaker 6 (56:27):
But pound cake, what you're not taking into account is
there's going to be there are probably a lot of
police officers who want to prove that they treat everyone
the same way.

Speaker 19 (56:36):
Nope, well okay, I'm just taking my hands up. I'm like, officer,
I'm reaching for the glove compartment. Just reach, just get
the insurance out. I'm reaching for the glove compartment. And
now would take me two point five seconds.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
I tell you, that was in the butt?

Speaker 22 (57:01):
How nice was I to that police officer? And we
got pulled over on the way to Cedar point of.

Speaker 19 (57:06):
Course you're a hot white girl like, I don't blame
that girl was saying it because she's right.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
You notice I didn't say I got damn word. I
was saying.

Speaker 22 (57:14):
Puncas like, please don't shoot. Be just a passenger one
for good measure, PoCA. That's the kill shot right at
the court hole.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
Oh man.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
So yeah, they asked her how much he had to drink,
and of course, what's the classic answer when you get
pulled over?

Speaker 3 (57:32):
None?

Speaker 1 (57:33):
She said, I only had two glasses of wine. Oh Jesus,
she said, I was celebrating my birthday. Annie, you say zero,
but that's first of all, once you admit that you've
been drinking, then they will for sure test you. But
it's patently ridiculous to say none if you've been pulled
over way above the legal limit.

Speaker 6 (57:51):
But they always say, guys, we go to the girls
loss of the wine. Yeah, all right, Well, if you're
that your own logic, ma'am.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
If you were that much of a lightweight, maybe don't
drink good Anya, just don't drive, pound cake. I only
had two tall cups of juice with.

Speaker 8 (58:11):
Some in them.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
That's right, that's all I had. Nope, don't have the luxury, don't.
I don't do soupid stuff like that. If I drank a.

Speaker 22 (58:19):
Juice of scissor and got straight folded, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
F offered me.

Speaker 19 (58:23):
He was like, hey, dude, you should come over and
we'll we'll just hang out. Like, well, we'll blow, like
we'll smoke some weed. I said, we'll blow. Yeah, He'll
say we'll blow. He was like, we'll smoke some wheed.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
I said, nope. You want to be very particular, we're
using that phrase if you're inviting pound cake come.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 19 (58:38):
Well that's what he said through text message, and I'm like, Nope,
can't do that. He's like, wow, I was cause I
have to work in the morning. I can't stay at
your house and I have to drive home and I
don't want to drive home. Like Hi, He's like, you're
such a good kid. He was like, He's like, your
mother would be really proud. I'm like, yep, I'm not
gonna die today. Nope, today, satan. Some people are suggesting
that you would get arrested for scooter jousting. That wouldn't

(59:01):
be a very thrilling joust though, if you're going at
each other at two miles per hour.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
Scooter jousting. Yeah, she was very polite to the police officer.

Speaker 19 (59:09):
To the arresting officer, it's not a matter of if
I get pulled over, as a matter of when I
get pulled over.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
When have you been pulled over?

Speaker 23 (59:17):
No?

Speaker 1 (59:17):
I haven't yet. But okay, I'm not saying. I'm not
saying if I get pulled over. Eventually, I've been pulled
over more than you, I know, So what does that say.

Speaker 11 (59:25):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
You're just terrible driver. I guess that.

Speaker 3 (59:34):
In your car.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
No, yes, I have when a long time ago, right,
I drove you a long time ago. I drive like
there's a white knuckling it the whole way home. But
I don't think i'm that beast speed? Why do speed?

Speaker 3 (59:49):
Speed?

Speaker 1 (59:49):
And I don't know?

Speaker 22 (59:50):
No, stop and just kidding officers listening.

Speaker 6 (59:55):
It's not the it's not the speeding. I have a
lead foot. It's like people drive and.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
Cutting people off. But it's a jerky drive. Oh god me,
I'm like, stop it.

Speaker 19 (01:00:06):
If you want to ride like a grandma and get
home in one piece, you'll ride with me because I
always drive like there's a cop behind me, even if
I don't think it, because I because your car.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Is breaking down every time you drive it. You're worried.

Speaker 22 (01:00:17):
You're worried hitting the gas over sixty miles an hour
is going to cause harm.

Speaker 19 (01:00:21):
Okay, I remember that next time you have an appointment, bitch,
take a little two mile an hour scooter.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Then take it. Remember that next year you have you
next time you have an appointment, bitch, is his response.
She went complaining it when I was taking her. I'm joking,
I do I tune up, though, sir, I'm gonna need
to see your driver's license. All right. It's like he's

(01:00:47):
being tased all over here.

Speaker 19 (01:00:49):
Yeah, don't change me, bro, I'm going to open up
my wallet. I'm not reaching for a gun.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Ice. You do this all day. I was riding, all right.
I'm sorry, my hand slipped off. How do you exactly
give you my crediction? All right, that's fine. Reach into
your glove box slowly, I'm reaching right now.

Speaker 6 (01:01:12):
Take it one hand, the handbo cop, blow the guy's
hand off.

Speaker 1 (01:01:21):
Oh no, I'm gonna need to check your trunk, sir.
I gotta I gotta hit button, though, I gotta hit button.

Speaker 10 (01:01:29):
He's gotta hit a button to.

Speaker 7 (01:01:32):
H Sir.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
Get out of the car. Please, what's the reason? Please
just get out of the car, sir. Okay, well, I
have to.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
Machine gun.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Want to stop?

Speaker 10 (01:01:46):
That's right?

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
Oh my god, pound Cake gets pulled over. Ellen, we
need that dish.

Speaker 6 (01:01:54):
That is not buddy can tear you elhen I got
a d u. I blew a point oh eight nine.
I was given the breathalyzer because I admitted to having
a couple of drinks. My lawyer said, if you're drinking
and driving. Never admit drinking to anything, gives them probable
cast that's my lawyer. I understand that. I'm just saying.

(01:02:15):
I get why you wouldn't want to incriminate yourself, but
they already have that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
Yes, they only have her speeding. You blew a point
eight nine right, No, this is after he admitted to drinking. Huh, right,
But but don't we all know that there's no way
out of the breathalyzer like I've never had to take one.
Can refuse it, right, and they take you in, right,
But then you can't just sober up before you get there.

(01:02:41):
I feel like it doesn't work.

Speaker 24 (01:02:43):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
If you're I feel like the people drinks, it might work.
I feel like they don't.

Speaker 6 (01:02:47):
I don't know how people get out of DUIs, but
I don't feel like there's one way to do that.
I feel like it's the luck of the draw because
if you refuse, then they take you in because you refuse.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
If you blow, then they gotcha. I get why legally,
you shouldn't ever incriminate.

Speaker 22 (01:03:03):
Yourself, shouldn't rink and drive, like, of course again, ways
around it, but like, really, there isn't.

Speaker 6 (01:03:10):
That's why I don't understand why there's people driving around
with eight DUIs under their belt. I'm like, not only
should you be dead, you should be riding a huffey
to work every day.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
Bro, Yeah, that's expensive. I think I heard from friends.

Speaker 6 (01:03:25):
I think, and I find it funny that pound Cake's
mom would be proud of him that he didn't smoke,
not because it's illegal, but because he didn't want to
get caught.

Speaker 19 (01:03:33):
At least If I'm gonna smoke, I'm gonna do it
in the comfort of someone's own home.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
That's like how I was in high school.

Speaker 19 (01:03:38):
Like when people would, well, not high school, college, we
would have like college parties. I'm like, are we walking
to the party. I'm that person. I'm planning out the evening.
I'm like, how are we getting here? How are we
getting here? I'm okay to drink, but I'm underage. So
are we going to stay inside the houses? Is going
to be a house party or is there going to
be like cops coming in? So I was that dude
because I was afraid of getting caught. I had a
future radio career. I did want to ruin.

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
Yeah, radio careers have never been ruined by DUI's well,
but me.

Speaker 6 (01:04:07):
Alan I'm a white guy, had an officer come at me,
gun drawn and put me in cuffs while they ran
my info.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
That's scary. Well, again, we don't know the facts exactly.
I don't know. I'll take you at your word, but
I mean, you know you could have had swastikas in
your back window too.

Speaker 6 (01:04:21):
I don't know, Alan, Please trust me. We can smell
when someone's drinking. We already know the answers to me. Yeah,
of course, that's what I'm saying. That's why you just
don't I understand why a lawyer would tell you to
clam up, but they already know the answers to the
questions they're asking you, and if.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
You refuse to blow, they suspend your license.

Speaker 22 (01:04:40):
The lawyer's just doing that to poke holes, you know,
to try to mount some kind of defense.

Speaker 6 (01:04:47):
I got an underage DUI blowing a point one one
two and got off because my lawyer found that the
officer wasn't certified to give a breathalyzer test on that day,
so the results got See.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
That's what I'm saying. Can the draw where people are
right or like draw a little delayed, but you know
he was ready. The delay is funny yeah, that's abuse.

Speaker 3 (01:05:18):
It is.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
I'm sorry, sir. Did I see you leaving me club?
Have you been drinking? What tweezed?

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
Tweez is your uber coming? Twist that way? It all right? Well, listen,
I appreciate you not drinking and driving, sir, clearly or intoxicated.
Will your uber be here in a moment. I'm actually
walking all right.

Speaker 22 (01:05:44):
It's really from walking home from the game.

Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
Just ain't some gay mass.

Speaker 22 (01:05:55):
He gets shot by the cop but somehow is able
to walk away and then gets shot by a neighborhood street.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
Yeah, hey, get over here. Hey, it would be the
most dramatic person getting shot ever.

Speaker 22 (01:06:07):
No, you know, like in the Mask where he's like,
tell yell er, I'm not coming home for Christmas.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
I don't remember that movie the way that you do.
Tell am, I don't know. I do not remember. Oh
it's so funny. He's like in Ohio, if you don't blow.

Speaker 6 (01:06:28):
You get us a one year suspension, you automatically suspended
your license.

Speaker 1 (01:06:34):
I don't know. These aren't things I have to concern
myself with because I'm a grown ass adult and I
know how to handle things. But a lot of people
can't seem to figure that out. Hey, Tim, Hey, how
you doing?

Speaker 24 (01:06:46):
How are you hate the show?

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
Thank you, sir.

Speaker 24 (01:06:49):
Hey, I've had I've had three d u i's in
my lifetime. Luckily they've only kind of as first offenses,
but the cops like to wait to give you your
breath alive or because your blood alcohol content goes up
before it goes down.

Speaker 6 (01:07:03):
How have your three DUI's each been considered first offenses?

Speaker 24 (01:07:08):
They were so far apart.

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
You get a do over button on dus apparently?

Speaker 24 (01:07:12):
No, No, well it's got my first one when I
was eighteen, and then I got the next one, like
it was like twelve years later, right, But.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
You get a do over They go, oh, you had one,
you've this is your second duy.

Speaker 25 (01:07:23):
No, apparently you know it was off It wasn't off
my record, but yeah.

Speaker 24 (01:07:27):
They all counted the first sentence.

Speaker 3 (01:07:29):
Huh.

Speaker 6 (01:07:30):
I didn't know there was a statute of limitations on DUI.

Speaker 1 (01:07:34):
So when did you get the second one? When'd you
get the third one?

Speaker 24 (01:07:38):
I think it was like eleven twelve years ago?

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
Huh?

Speaker 24 (01:07:41):
I know, So yeah, that had three and thirty years.

Speaker 6 (01:07:44):
Three in thirty years. Wow, So every decade he treats himself.

Speaker 7 (01:07:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 24 (01:07:52):
Yeah, and if you refuse a breathalyzer, that's an automatic
year suspension on your life.

Speaker 6 (01:07:57):
So you've had your license suspended for three years total?

Speaker 24 (01:08:01):
No, uh more than that of thirty years, I've probably
only had a license with two teas.

Speaker 1 (01:08:08):
Yeah, well how'd you get?

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
Well?

Speaker 1 (01:08:10):
Get it together? How'd you get around? You're like riding
a bike around or what?

Speaker 13 (01:08:13):
No?

Speaker 24 (01:08:14):
No, I just drive it and look over my shoulder.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Really yeah, so you just oh, I see, so you
just drive on a suspended license?

Speaker 24 (01:08:21):
Yep? Pretty much.

Speaker 1 (01:08:23):
Man, you better hope you better hope you that I'm
a tail light out. That's scary. I wouldn't do that.
They're looking for revenue streams.

Speaker 3 (01:08:28):
Boy, Oh that's for sure.

Speaker 4 (01:08:30):
That's for sure.

Speaker 24 (01:08:30):
Yeah, wear my feet bolt. Have insurance on my car?
You know, even though I don't have a license, and
do I gotta do?

Speaker 1 (01:08:36):
How do you the insurance?

Speaker 4 (01:08:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:08:37):
How do you have insurance? With no license?

Speaker 24 (01:08:39):
You can get a non non non driver insurance.

Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
I'm learning all these new things work if you're caught driving.

Speaker 6 (01:08:48):
So what that means that you're legally listed as a
passenger in someone else's car.

Speaker 1 (01:08:55):
I don't a passenger in your own car.

Speaker 24 (01:08:57):
I'm not quite sure.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
He doesn't tell us that he drives from the passenger seat.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
He just leans over.

Speaker 6 (01:09:07):
All right, thank you, Tim, trying to please stay off
my roads near my home?

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
All right?

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
Thank you?

Speaker 6 (01:09:13):
If you could right in Bay Village and wherever pound Cake,
Lakewood if so, if you could not, I don't know
where you lived him, but if you could not drive
in Bay Village, Lakewood or Fairview, thank you very much.

Speaker 1 (01:09:26):
I appreciate that. Hey, James, how are you?

Speaker 12 (01:09:32):
Hey?

Speaker 25 (01:09:32):
I'm doing great, buddy, going off and to.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
Join us fresh free years beautiful?

Speaker 20 (01:09:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:09:38):
We were you paying for air? Before? I know? Conrad's
alitch of inflate for nothing.

Speaker 25 (01:09:44):
I wasn't paying for it, but the free kind. It
was kind of hard for me to get a hold
of him. I just came home from a four year bit.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
Oh he just did almost a niggle here.

Speaker 3 (01:09:53):
What were you?

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
Where were you.

Speaker 25 (01:09:55):
For the last part of it? I was in Toledo.
I started off and grafted and got my security raised
there for too much trouble?

Speaker 3 (01:10:04):
Or are you doing?

Speaker 1 (01:10:04):
Are you fighting? Did you ever? Did you ever send
us prison mail?

Speaker 18 (01:10:08):
No?

Speaker 25 (01:10:08):
I did not start all right, but yeah, I was
a faithful listener man the last one, I got in
trouble and they transferred me to Toledo. The last part
of my stint, the last twenty two months, was twenty three.

Speaker 10 (01:10:20):
Hours a day lockdown.

Speaker 25 (01:10:21):
So you know, oh my god, what lose your mind
in the sill?

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
Are you shank somebody?

Speaker 10 (01:10:27):
Wow?

Speaker 5 (01:10:27):
He's like, guys, I need the I hurt radiot the
Allen Cox Show on one hundred W m ms Allen Cox.

Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
He's been asked to leave on multiple occasions. Jack, he
does that whole Huh, I can't hear you. It's too
loud in here thing.

Speaker 3 (01:10:50):
Mms.

Speaker 2 (01:10:53):
She did get.

Speaker 20 (01:10:57):
Me that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:02):
It was a mere few days ago.

Speaker 6 (01:11:03):
Rob and I was celebrating my thirtieth anniversary full time
in radio.

Speaker 1 (01:11:10):
Did a handful of years before that part time.

Speaker 6 (01:11:12):
Of course, my first full time gig was in Kalamazoo, Michigan,
so I'm always keeping my ears open for what's going
on in that town.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
It is, first and foremost a college town.

Speaker 6 (01:11:20):
It's our Western Michigan University is k college for the
really smart kids. And so when I saw the headline
sewage overflows out of Kalamazoo man Hole, I was intrigued.

Speaker 1 (01:11:33):
I wanted to know right.

Speaker 6 (01:11:37):
Five hundred gallons of sewage at an intersection, by the way,
and we have bureau chiefs there in Kalamazoo, Michigan, five
hundred gallons of sewage spilled from a man hole the
other night. And this is an affluent part of town,

(01:11:57):
by the way, the aptly name whites Road and Parkview Avenue.
Right now, if you're listening right now and you've never
been the Kalamazoo, Michigan, you go, who cares about this?
But I lived there for I lived there for three years.
I fell like ten I will say that. But it's
a fine, fine town. It's a perfect place to start

(01:12:19):
your broadcasting career, right I moved there in the fall
of nineteen ninety five. But this is a you know,
they got this cleaned up fast because this is in
a an affluent part of town, right The Kalamazoo Country
Club is across the street. The D and W fresh Market,
which is like the Hinens of Southwest Michigan, that's right

(01:12:41):
there as well.

Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
Sewage.

Speaker 6 (01:12:45):
It's the kind of place that Rob would shop to
get his high end caviare if in fact he was
living in Kalamazoo, Michigan. And so, yeah, five hundred gallons
of sewage right now. Of course, around these parts it
would be like, oh, I don't know, hanging out at
Edgewater Beach.

Speaker 1 (01:13:06):
Yeah, coming up through the man hole.

Speaker 6 (01:13:09):
And they had to get the city works people out
there to clean it up and to restore normal flow.
But boy, you had to think that the people who
live in that immediate area were going nuts, because you know,
it's a low crime, high tax area. It's a tony
part of Kalamazoo, Michigan, southwest part of the city there

(01:13:33):
almost to Portage, Michigan, which is where it gets really stately.
But I loved the headline, sewage overflows out of Kalamazoo Manhole. Now,
for those of you who are well versed in a
certain kind of lifestyle, the Kalamazoo man hole is especially
tough to perform if you've ever tried it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:54):
I tried it in college. I tried it again a
few years ago.

Speaker 6 (01:14:00):
It involves two motorcycle helmets, an entire casoda cake like
baronas in Maple Heights or something right, and precisely seven
lego minifigures. That's your Kalamazoo manhole. Now beyond that, I
can't tell you anymore. Per FCC regulations. But it's an

(01:14:23):
especially heroic move to perform. But that's what it made
me think of, Robin.

Speaker 1 (01:14:29):
I was reading that story, and was it five hundred gallons?
Is that what you said?

Speaker 5 (01:14:32):
It was five hundred gallons of sewage? I mean, any
sewage is a lot, but five hundred gallons isn't a lot.
When you think about the smallest pool you can think
of holds like three thousand gallons of water, and that's
spread out over a neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (01:14:47):
It probably wasn't as bad as it sounds, right, I
guess you're taking the man hole half full to take
on this.

Speaker 5 (01:14:57):
No, I just if it's look any like I said,
any is gross, Yeah, but there has to be some
sort of grade. Well, this is how dumb I am,
because five hundred gallons sounded like a lot to me.
The first thing I thought was like, if it was
in a pool like that, wouldn't that wouldn't fill the
bottom of a pool. Okay, it's gross.

Speaker 6 (01:15:16):
Well, I guess you have to wonder in the five
hundred gallons the solid to liquid ratio. That's always the thing,
that's the thing that's your X factor right there, I
have to assume the well. If you if you're ankle
deep in brown water, that's one thing, right, But if
you're standing there in the street and you know, it
looks like your legs are being beset by a rivulet

(01:15:37):
of river.

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
Otters, Yeah, that's no good. No, no, no, yeah, you're right,
it does.

Speaker 5 (01:15:42):
I would assume the majority of it was probably water though, right,
like liquid I think so, you'd assumed that the turds
would get stuck.

Speaker 1 (01:15:51):
Or broken down or something along the north lines.

Speaker 6 (01:15:54):
But God's stuck on the on the manhole cover. On
the manhole cover. Emily is one of our Buera chiefs
there in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I don't know if that was
anywhere near her. That's way south of where Western Michigan
University is. But the uh, the Kalamazoo manhole is, you know,
look into it. The weekend's coming up. Do you think

(01:16:17):
that would have been a story if it happened like
in downtown Kalamazoo.

Speaker 1 (01:16:21):
Oh yeah, it would have.

Speaker 5 (01:16:22):
Oh yeah, I didn't know if it was the thing
because it was an affluent town town, you know, like
it made press because.

Speaker 6 (01:16:29):
Well is not an affluent town. It's a very much
not affluent town. But that part of town is a
little bit more tony okay than some other parts of town.
Somebody texted or an effluent part of town. You get
the word nerd in me.

Speaker 1 (01:16:46):
My heart just grew nine and size as like the
goddamn grinch.

Speaker 6 (01:16:51):
You are my hero today. Everybody else is throwing me
kalama poo. You know, I get it an affluent part
of town, you, sir or madam? I salute you. I
salute you.

Speaker 1 (01:17:07):
Did I pronounce it?

Speaker 3 (01:17:08):
Well?

Speaker 6 (01:17:09):
No, I don't know, Alan, Rob's right, five hundred gallons
is the size of a hot tub.

Speaker 1 (01:17:17):
It's still gross. Yeah, want to sit in a hot
tub of poop?

Speaker 6 (01:17:21):
No, they're at Theogora on Saturday night, by the way,
hot tub of poop.

Speaker 5 (01:17:24):
But you think about how deep that is, and that's
in a confined space, right, So five hundred gallons coming
up in a neighborhood gross not terrible because my first
thought was, oh my god, that neighborhood, Like, how do
they even clean that up? Like when you have all
this stuff, like they probably just had to turn on
a garden hose, just shoot it down to the next dream.

Speaker 1 (01:17:46):
And spray a little leesol.

Speaker 6 (01:17:48):
Alan, you were talking about the most common birthday being today,
the least common birthday being December the twenty fifth.

Speaker 1 (01:17:56):
You mean Jimmy Buffett's birthday? Is that his birthday? Is
he a Christmas baby? Well that's what this person says.

Speaker 6 (01:18:03):
I have no It seems like a weird thing to
make up when you could immediately determine whether or it
was true. He was born on December the twenty fifth,
nineteen forty six, in Pascagoula, Mississippi. So yes, it will
be not only a Christmas without a Santa, but a
Christmas without a Jimmy Buffett. And he's been dead for
a few years now. Well too, it'll be the third

(01:18:26):
Christmas without a one James William Buffett rob.

Speaker 1 (01:18:36):
Allan.

Speaker 6 (01:18:36):
I'm a Christmas Eve birthday, and it sucked growing up.
I was always forgotten. It's not so bad now because
I always have the day off work.

Speaker 26 (01:18:44):
Hey boys, it's Becky from Wayne County. You were talking
yesterday about feeling old at a concert, and I've never
felt older than when I went to Rexorge County.

Speaker 1 (01:18:53):
I took my sixteen year old at the time to.

Speaker 26 (01:18:56):
Rexord County and I counted maybe twenty people over the
age of thirty thirty five. There, I stayed in the
stands for a couple of songs and then bailed and
joined about ten other parents just waiting in purgatory for
their kids right by.

Speaker 1 (01:19:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:19:12):
I took my older daughter to Rex, Orange County a
long time ago, and it was like, but that's the
kind of act where, you know, I mean, it's a
lot of parents. We weren't so much talking about feeling
old at a concert. I was talking about feeling being
in a room full of my peers and feeling like
they look older or I don't know what it is.
It was at the Jerry Cantrell show on Friday night

(01:19:34):
at the House of Blues, which is a straight ahead
Gen X show. Right, guy from Mallison Chains Sparta is
the opening band for God's Sake, a little more recent
obviously than Alison Chains. But those guys are you know,
they're not spring chickens. And so everybody in that room,
I mean, obviously there were some younger people there. Maybe
they had come to enjoy Jerry Cantrell, or maybe their

(01:19:54):
parents got him into Alison Chains back in the day.
Whatever it is, but you know, that is an act
that's going to draw gen xers and I don't know.
There's a lot of people come up to me and say, hi,
very nice, but they just looked old, you know what
I think it is? And I'm like, well, we're the
same age. I mean, maybe that's what I look like

(01:20:15):
to people. I know, people say I look like a
Gramma because my hair is gray and I'm growing it
out whatever. I'm not talking about that. I mean, like,
I'm still in pretty good shape.

Speaker 1 (01:20:23):
I don't know what is it.

Speaker 5 (01:20:24):
I think it's the fact that we never truly grew
up and look at us like I wear a hoodie
and a hat to work every single day.

Speaker 1 (01:20:32):
Yeah, but that's what all these people were wearing. That
was because they were out, you know what I mean.
But that's what they're going out. That's they're going out where.
I'm just saying, people carry themselves way different like people.
I see people my age all the time that feel
way older than I do. I think it's because of
what we do. I really do. I think like this
job sort of keeps us young well in this sense
that the way we act.

Speaker 6 (01:20:52):
Well And that's kind of what I was alluding to,
is like we do live in kind of a stunted maturity.

Speaker 1 (01:20:58):
But I don't know what these people do for a lot. Yeah,
the guy might be out there selling bildos.

Speaker 5 (01:21:03):
I don't know, maybe, but he's probably still I just
I think people let their hair down in different ways,
and we just sort of always look like we're chill.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
I mean, if you put this thing on, man, you're
never going to see either one of us in a tux.

Speaker 6 (01:21:18):
I still, well, you'll see me in a tux, right, Well,
you have a wedding to attend on Saturday and it's
cocktail attire, so yes, of course you're going to see
me in a tux.

Speaker 1 (01:21:26):
So actually after six pm? What am I a farmer? Well?
You do you man, I won't be in a tux. No,
but what again, I don't even know what it is.
It's nothing that could really put my finger on. I
don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:21:41):
I did see an inordinate number of T shirts tucked
into cargo shorts and that just bummed me out.

Speaker 1 (01:21:46):
But that's something you would never do again. It's their
fault either. I mean, you made a decision to do that.

Speaker 5 (01:21:54):
Yeah, but you made a decision to pull your socks
up so high that you have a three inch cap
between your shorts and your socks and at that point,
why bother just put on pants. Yeah, you made a
decision to buy those those white Nike sneakers that every
dad has, those air Monarchs.

Speaker 1 (01:22:13):
My father in law wears the orthopedic shoes is.

Speaker 5 (01:22:16):
Out there, just the Nike. Look up the air Monarch.
It's every single dad wears. It's just it's the sneaker
wear a new Balance has so yeah, yeah, I see these, yeah,
air Monarch. Yeah, they look very comfortable. And I guarantee
you those same dudes that had their Alice in Chains
T shirt tucked in with their pants pulled up to
their teets were wearing those sneakers guaranteed.

Speaker 6 (01:22:37):
Nike shoes are known for their dad shoe status due
to their broad appeal to older men and popularity among
dads for everyday use. How did the air Monarch become
the dad shoe? I mean they're bending over backwards over
there at Sketchers Incorporated to try to make those shoes
look cool? How did the air Monarch get in there?

(01:22:58):
Because they ain't cheap? You think dads would be looking
for a deal.

Speaker 1 (01:23:02):
What's seventy bucks? I mean look at look, that's the
same dad that's.

Speaker 5 (01:23:05):
Like I can't believe I just spned one hundred and
fifty hours on Jordan's from my goddamn kid.

Speaker 6 (01:23:09):
Well, right, but if you're that guy, you don't want
to spend forty bucks a shoe either.

Speaker 5 (01:23:14):
Well yeah, but if the comfort shoe and then they
you know, they have two identical pairs of them, and
one in the closet that they don't wear and the
worn out ones that they'll wear in the yard, and
they'll put on the good ones when they go out.
Maybe they know something we don't. No, they don't. I mean,
think about it. What do you like, You're in Vans
or Chucks every day?

Speaker 6 (01:23:33):
I'm wearing either Palladium boots or Chucks every single day. Yeah,
and I was a Van's guy until forever. I wear
Jordan's a lot, like I just maybe these are guys
with back problems. Maybe they need a rob Maybe they
need a foam mid soul. Maybe right, maybe anytime I
wear a shoe like that, I feel like I'm bouncing around.

(01:23:54):
I can't walk around. I need my feet closer to
the ground just for my gait. You know, I have
a couple of pairs of tennis shoes I don't wear
them very often. Sneakers are are gonna call them, but
I don't wear them very often because I feel like
when I'm walking, I feel like I'm bouncing around. Yeah,
and I'm like, I know, these are supposed to be
super comfortable, and maybe they are like standing at a show.

(01:24:15):
Maybe they're great, but anyway, I don't know. It just
it felt weird. Cotton Ball says Rob, You bastard, I
just bought my first pair of Monarchs. Well, hey, oh
God for you?

Speaker 1 (01:24:30):
Who is that?

Speaker 5 (01:24:31):
Cotton Balls? He calls us all the time, Oh, cotton Balls?
Not too late to return them, homie.

Speaker 6 (01:24:36):
Now, I don't know how old cotton Balls is, but
he certainly sounds younger than us. And listen, I think
it's better to look good than to feel good. But
I'm in the minority on that. And so some people
are like function over fashion.

Speaker 1 (01:24:49):
I get it right.

Speaker 6 (01:24:50):
They want to feel comfortable. There's some people where their
main goal in life is comfort. I don't know how
goddamn comfortable people need to be all the time, people
going to the store in SpongeBob pajamas. But for some people,
for better or worse, the most important thing in their
life is that they are never ever uncomfortable. I broke

(01:25:11):
a rule.

Speaker 5 (01:25:12):
I went over the weekend, I uh, the kids, Caitlyn's
obviously at school.

Speaker 1 (01:25:18):
This wasn't the rule against murder, was it?

Speaker 18 (01:25:19):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:25:20):
No, that one I still keep.

Speaker 6 (01:25:23):
I haven't broken that since two thousand and two.

Speaker 1 (01:25:25):
Was right, Yeah, I'm not going to admit it here.

Speaker 5 (01:25:29):
No, ok, Katelyn obviously up at school, Kelli was it
asleepover and I needed something I don't remember what it was,
and I went to meyern sweatpants okay, And I felt
so weird that I was wearing sweatpants out with these
gray sweatpants they were Yeah, I know you of course,
all right, trying to let that thing show there you go.

Speaker 6 (01:25:51):
I saw the clip rattler there in the meyer Deli
and his friend. Yeah, yeah, all right, But I know
I ever ever do that, you know what I mean?
I threw on a pair of shoes, but like, I
don't wear flip flops out either all that often. But yeah,
I wore sweatpants out. I felt like such a jerk.
Now are they like champones or were you wearing like joggers.

(01:26:12):
I see a lot of dudes, a lot of guys
kind of trying to cheat the corners there they were joggers.
They go, well, these are more cut. They're sweatpants, probably gay.
I wore gray Nike sweatpants. Okay, charcoal heather a light
gray Okay, yep. I don't know what heather is, but
it was a light gray. That would be a heather gray.

(01:26:33):
It was a heather gray. That's what I was wearing.

Speaker 1 (01:26:34):
I think she was in Boogie Nights. Alan, I'm sixty five.
I agree.

Speaker 6 (01:26:43):
I don't look my age. We're going to see Pa Firm.
I'm crazier and more fun than anybody my age.

Speaker 10 (01:26:49):
See.

Speaker 1 (01:26:50):
Yeah, you know, they always go well as long as
you know.

Speaker 6 (01:26:53):
The the most fun loving old people you'll see are
the people in pharmaceutical commercials. They're riding horses, they're surfing,
they're going to jazz festivals, whatever it is, and not
a monarch among.

Speaker 5 (01:27:09):
Them and doing that all with a leaky bum from
whatever medications they're taking.

Speaker 6 (01:27:15):
Let your doctor know if you have suicidal ideations. My
nine year old laughs at that stuff, right, because you
can recall a time where pharmaceutical commercials were few and
far between, but with the advent of streaming, they're in
everything now. Forever, you know, and not even they used
to be kind of confined to television shows that were

(01:27:39):
geared to an older demographic. Right, you'd see a lot
of pharmaceutical ads during like mathlock or Murder she wrote,
or whatever it was, right Fox News, it's all catheters
and all that crap.

Speaker 1 (01:27:49):
But they really are everywhere now, Yeah, so you can't
get away from them.

Speaker 5 (01:27:56):
My youngest back in the day medication the only thing
she ever knew you'd take it for it was a headache,
you know. Yeah, And we were watching television and one
of those came on and it was like the thirty
seconds of what could happen if you take this medication?
And Kylie looks at me and she goes, Dad, I
think I'd rather have a headache. And I was like, yes,
of course, Yeah, I'm done, kid. Yeah, No, I have

(01:28:18):
person and I have a lot of pairs of shoes.

Speaker 6 (01:28:19):
I hate to admit it because I wear the same
goddamn two pair all the time, but I do have
quite a few pairs of shoes. I have precisely one
pair of white shoes. I have a pair of white
Steve Maddens with like a saw tooth sole on them.
I couldn't tell you the last time I wore them,
because I'm like, where the hell am I going to
wear these? You know, white shoes that they're immediately scuffed
and they look terrible whatever.

Speaker 5 (01:28:41):
But I bought like the Forest Gump Nikes a while
back too. Okay, those are white with red. Yeah, but
they do they get They get filthy so fast. That's
why I only wear my Jordan's like once in a
blue moon. That's like my dress shoe. Now, I don't
wear dress shoes or any of that crap. Went to
the Marble room, I wore those sneakers.

Speaker 6 (01:28:59):
D you didn't wear your gray sweatpants of the marble room?
Did you check out my marbles?

Speaker 3 (01:29:04):
Ladies?

Speaker 6 (01:29:06):
I'll take the check right here. No, sir, dinner is
on us. Don't you worry at all? Dinner that's right,
table for two.

Speaker 1 (01:29:16):
No, I'm alone, thank you? Oh so still for two? Alan?

Speaker 6 (01:29:20):
What's wrong with wearing sweatpants out in public? I wear
them all the time to the strip club. Well there
you go right again.

Speaker 1 (01:29:28):
There's if there's nothing wrong with it, it's just something
I feel like I shouldn't do. If you do it,
God bless you boy, cotton balls. Did not care for
your assessment of those air monarchs. He did not like
that at all.

Speaker 27 (01:29:42):
Yeah, I got a problem with your loud mouth buddy
over there, Rob, what's wrong with air monarchs? I just
got done getting grasp on my friends about him. Now
you got to kick me in the balls their comfy.
I can go golfing. I'ng mow the grass whatever I
want them. Where'd you get your shoes the toilet's? Did

(01:30:04):
you get your shoes at the toilet?

Speaker 11 (01:30:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:30:07):
Well listen, I'll tell you what he gave himself away.
I can go golfing golf, Come.

Speaker 6 (01:30:14):
On, that's why all those people are walking around with
their T shirt tucked into their shorts.

Speaker 1 (01:30:19):
They're golfers. They're used to that.

Speaker 5 (01:30:23):
Or did you get your shoes the toilet store? And
I love the best part of that whole call was
I just got finished getting my balls busted on my friends.
So clearly I'm not alone in my beliefs here. Pal, No,
but you know what you gotta do what you love.

Speaker 10 (01:30:40):
Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:30:41):
You can't let anybody yuck. You're young.

Speaker 5 (01:30:43):
I am absolutely someone who does not care. If I
want to do something, I'm going to do something, there's
no question about it. But you know, I mean, you
gotta take the good at the bag. You're gonna catch
lumps for that.

Speaker 1 (01:30:58):
Welcome to the Center, potentially entertaining The.

Speaker 15 (01:31:02):
Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven dommas.

Speaker 8 (01:31:06):
Speaking of which, our hand sanitizer right here expired in
twenty sixteen.

Speaker 1 (01:31:12):
What does that mean to you? I don't know. Does
it mean it doesn't work anymore? It's what like when
they it doesn't know how old it is, It doesn't
know what the calendar is.

Speaker 8 (01:31:21):
Yeah, but if it's alcohol, it's the particles breakdown over
time and that's the that's the shelf.

Speaker 1 (01:31:27):
Life on it.

Speaker 8 (01:31:28):
So we have another full one down there, the full
one down there, probably five of twenty sixteen.

Speaker 1 (01:31:35):
It's been in here forever. Well, yeah, it means it's
been in here since before then.

Speaker 6 (01:31:40):
It's two leaders of hand sanitizer, two of these in
the WMMS studio. And this is used clearly quite frequently
because I feel like before the holidays it was about
half full.

Speaker 1 (01:31:52):
I use it when I sneeze. It kills nine.

Speaker 6 (01:31:55):
I love how they have to cover their ass kills
ninety nine point nine nine percent of commons.

Speaker 1 (01:32:01):
Yeah, right, So like, if you get sick, we told
you not one hundred percent. So that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (01:32:05):
If it expired economy size, it says not for retail sale,
and you can't sell well anyway, I don't think that
it just stops working.

Speaker 1 (01:32:15):
It's a colloidal mixture. It's fine. It's four years old. Yeah,
and like you said yesterday, washing your hands is better anyway. Yeah,
it is too.

Speaker 17 (01:32:24):
That's a very specific message to a member of the
Fox Sports broadcast team.

Speaker 1 (01:32:31):
Oh really, did you ever run in with someone who
didn't wash their hands? Yeah?

Speaker 17 (01:32:35):
Someone that does Indians' pregame shows and postgame shows was
in the bathroom washing the bathroom here, in the bathroom here,
he does some other stuff for the station.

Speaker 1 (01:32:46):
Uh, takes a leak, walks right out. Are you going
to call them out?

Speaker 6 (01:32:50):
I think this could this could be precipitating an in
house public health issue.

Speaker 1 (01:32:56):
I'm not one hundred percent sure it was him, but
I'm pretty sure it was him, So I don't want
to call it.

Speaker 6 (01:33:00):
Okay until I know for sure, But you'll be avoiding
this person, yes, then you'll have to tell me off
here the play Actually, who am I kidding?

Speaker 1 (01:33:08):
I avoid everywhere. I think it's I got nothing to work.

Speaker 22 (01:33:10):
Huh.

Speaker 1 (01:33:11):
I'll just tell you. I'll just say it. I don't care.
Jensen Lewis. I think I don't even know who that is.
Oh okay, who was your hands? Gentsen? All right, well,
even if it wasn't you that did this, it's still
good advice. Wash your hands. I'll tell you what.

Speaker 6 (01:33:28):
I was watching the Fox News channel. They got this
cat over there, this Jesse Waters. He ain't worried about nothing.
He ain't fraid to know ghost. He's not worried about coronavirus.

Speaker 1 (01:33:38):
I want whit.

Speaker 17 (01:33:39):
I love when people like this, they're like, I'm not
worried about the coronavirus. Then like a week later, like
I got the coronavirus. That would be funny. Yeah, like
everybody thought the pope was sick with the coronavirus. I
don't think he's got Like the guy's like, hey, try
and take my info and he put his he had
like the cybersecurity system going out.

Speaker 1 (01:33:54):
Yeah, and he's like, yeah, here's my social security number.
Do your best to lifeline that and they're like, got
me hacked. Like before the commercial was over, people hacked
this guy. Yeah, so Jesse Water's over there.

Speaker 14 (01:34:07):
You know.

Speaker 6 (01:34:07):
Fox News are like, you'll get my immune system when
you pry it from my cold dead hand A moon
system quote Pat Robertson, do.

Speaker 1 (01:34:15):
You want to know how I really feel about the coronavirus?

Speaker 2 (01:34:18):
Wan?

Speaker 1 (01:34:19):
If I get it, I'll beat it. I'm not lying.
It's the call the power of positive thinking, and I
think America needs to wake up to that. Okay, I
live in Manhattan. That's got off work the other night,
went straight into the subway. Asian guy sits down next
to me, mask on. Finish the ride. Then I go
home and I ordered Chinese food.

Speaker 6 (01:34:39):
Jesus Christy, but he finished the ride. He's not scared,
He's like, what am I worried about?

Speaker 1 (01:34:44):
I think it is funny though, when these Chinese restaurants say,
way our business is way down, which is so silly
to me, Like you're not getting your ingredients from China,
You're getting them from here like everybody. Every other restaurant
in this country dangerous as it always is. Any restaurant
is just as dangerous.

Speaker 6 (01:35:03):
You're not any more likely to get it from a
Chinese restaurant than you would from some chain place.

Speaker 1 (01:35:08):
Power of positive thinking. What's the matter with that.

Speaker 8 (01:35:11):
I'm someone who believes in that kind of stuff, and
I'm like, yeah, but if you're sick, you can't just
think it away.

Speaker 1 (01:35:15):
Well, you can't die from it. But he's saying the
power of positive thinking can cure an illness. Well, no,
he's saying that. Hopefully it'll get the vibe that he's
goofing around. But hey, stress can make you sick. There's
a mind body connection, right, Positive mental attitude can probably
undeniably help your immune system. Probably won't ward off the coronavirus,

(01:35:38):
but you could get the coronavirus and then not die.
And that's all you gotta do is not die.

Speaker 8 (01:35:44):
Well, what if that is the answer, which is how
you're thinking, is the only way to not get the coronavirus.
It's the only thing. So the more happy, go lucky
you are, the less likely you are to get it. Well,
what start skipping what is widely known as being the
best medicine. Mary, there's stuff so you'll never get sick.

Speaker 1 (01:36:03):
Did you see that they pushed back the release of
the new James Bond movie till November. I did say
that wyn because of coronavirus. They don't want people to
gather in large groups.

Speaker 8 (01:36:12):
Arnold Classic in Columbus, guys, Yeah, what did the Arnold Classic?

Speaker 3 (01:36:17):
What is that?

Speaker 21 (01:36:18):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:36:18):
Like weightlifting? Okay, he does, like a big convention there
and it's like fifty thousand. It's like the biggest thing
that comes to Columbus.

Speaker 8 (01:36:27):
It's I've known people from like gymnastics and cheerleading and
stuff that go down. There's a like, oh, there's so
many different aspects to it.

Speaker 6 (01:36:34):
But I wonder how if you we were talking about
this the other day, how conventions around the country are.
I mean, the tourism and convention industry is like a
one and a half trillion dollar industry, and around the country,
these people who are in charge of these things are
like better safe than sorry. Like they're canceling a huge
visit a huge tourism convention in Chicago at McCormick Place. Uh,

(01:36:55):
they're just canceling these big events. Comic on and Cleveland
is still going on. The comic cons don't seem to
be worried. Emerald City Comic Con in Seattle, which is
an area of the country where they've had many cases
of the coronavirus. They're like, we're going on Cleveland Comic
Con going these people are costplaying as people with really
healthy immune systems. They're not canceling these things. So I

(01:37:16):
wonder what the minimum number of people. If you are
going to have an event that's going to have a
quarter million people there, you're probably going to cancel it.
But what do you think the minimum number? You're like, ah,
we're all expecting. They have a lot of people at
comic Con.

Speaker 1 (01:37:27):
Oh, I mean you have baseball games going on, you
have the basketball games going on. They're not canceling any
of that stuff.

Speaker 8 (01:37:33):
So they're still doing for the Arnold Classic, They're still
doing the competitions, but they're not going to have all
the booths and everything set up so that it was
like that you would take it and be like, oh,
here's your supplements, here's this, just or that, and then
they have like there was a gymnastics competition down there.

Speaker 1 (01:37:48):
It's huge to get into every year.

Speaker 8 (01:37:50):
So they're still going to compete, but they're not going
to allow any of the vendors and stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:37:54):
Well anyway, Sandy Elmar for get it is filling in
for Tito today because Terry Francone is not feeling well
well he's been run down and dealing with some gastro
intestinal issues.

Speaker 1 (01:38:06):
He's uh, he's crimping on the first and you feel
a certain burst diarrhea.

Speaker 6 (01:38:13):
When you're sliding in the home and your pants are
full of pham, diarya, you feel something foam?

Speaker 1 (01:38:20):
I'm sorry, that's okay. What did I say? Different generations?
What did I say? I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:38:26):
When you're sliding in the home and your pants are
full of phone, well, that's funny. That's funnier than you
feel foam. Feel something foam, pants are.

Speaker 1 (01:38:34):
Full of foam. Give me that visual. That's amazing.

Speaker 11 (01:38:38):
Out.

Speaker 1 (01:38:38):
Yeah, when you're sliding in the first and you're feeling
something burst diarrhea, what's the second?

Speaker 6 (01:38:45):
When you're sliding in the third and you squeeze a big,
fat third diarrhea?

Speaker 1 (01:38:49):
Yeah, I think no, diarrhea wouldn't be a.

Speaker 6 (01:38:50):
Big yeah, juicy to I think big and fat to
visual second or a second?

Speaker 1 (01:38:56):
I don't think there was there was a second because second.

Speaker 6 (01:38:59):
I think in the diarrhea song, they assume that you're
so in a hurry to get home you steal a base.

Speaker 1 (01:39:06):
Yeah, but you're still going to that bass. Yeah, I know,
I'm gonna get the lyrics diarya so get well soon.
T though.

Speaker 6 (01:39:16):
By the way, if you're a podcast listener and can't
join us live, you can always use the Alan Cox
Show After hours line.

Speaker 1 (01:39:23):
That is two one six nine eight six eighty nine
oh three. I got a call from a woman who
really had a bone to pick with pound Cake. Today.

Speaker 6 (01:39:34):
By the way, a lot of people have pointed out
to me, is National pound Cake Day.

Speaker 1 (01:39:39):
Ironically it is also National Grammar Day. Oh my goodness.
So you know, sometimes the stars just a line in
a certain way.

Speaker 6 (01:39:50):
I got a couple of calls from women on the
after hours line, neither of whom were too pleased with
one or two things.

Speaker 25 (01:39:58):
Hi, Alan, I.

Speaker 16 (01:39:59):
Think customer for ten years now, and I see that
when you first started the show, your shows were much
more interesting and I had deeper meaning. And now ever
since Poopcake or pound Pooper, whatever his name is, came
on the show, all you seem to talk about is penises. Penises, penis.

Speaker 1 (01:40:22):
That's the whole thing.

Speaker 6 (01:40:24):
By the way, why does a woman whose voice sounds
like she's working a sex line have a problem with
us talking about wieners?

Speaker 1 (01:40:30):
She was whispering like she had to couldn't tell somebody
she was trying a good way to leave work, to
leave this phone call sounds like.

Speaker 16 (01:40:39):
And it's exhausting, quite frankly, So if we could find
some more interesting subject mass.

Speaker 6 (01:40:44):
By the way, this show never had a deeper meaning.
I appreciate that you found something worthwhile in this program.
It is never that's purely coincidental. If you ever found
any deeper meaning in the show, how.

Speaker 16 (01:40:56):
Would that be wonderful? Because some of us don't care
to hear about your wieners, in your sexual fantasies, in
your poor new subscriptions.

Speaker 1 (01:41:05):
And that's not him, that's me. That's a shot at
bill subscription.

Speaker 10 (01:41:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:41:11):
By the way, yeah, this lady, she said, And everybody
but me, right like, this is me. I'm not talking
about my wiener. She didn't like. I like, how are
you talking about? We have a drop? I like how
she pretends she doesn't the drop that we play that
directly deals with your wiener, supersper, Yes, doesn't deal with
my wiener. Bell deals with my spur side. But I

(01:41:31):
do like how she pretends she doesn't know what your
name is coding. Of course they're listening for ten years
my name of course subscription.

Speaker 16 (01:41:40):
Don't have one track mind. I mean, do you realize
that it.

Speaker 1 (01:41:43):
Always goes back why so sultry? Yeah, if she's got
a problem whispering with all this solid, well, don't whisper
her husband vander from listening or something. And now she
has to whisper. You're not calling about poopcake again? Are
you got no dam I said not to listen to
that program? N hand In my country hat.

Speaker 17 (01:42:04):
We talked about Key Bacon. What we talked about Kevin
Bacon for a while, Like we talked about so many things.
But whatever you don't like is what people focus on. Yes,
that's right.

Speaker 1 (01:42:11):
So if you don't like a certain thing, that's always
gonna seem like that's what we're talking about. Like tomorrow
we'll probably a conference. So like, oh, that ham Museum
is way overrated?

Speaker 10 (01:42:21):
Guy?

Speaker 1 (01:42:22):
All the problem yeah began And I don't appreciate how
you about meat like that. You can say whatever you
wants me. It has given us black Betty ham Musam
and I will never dislike that min.

Speaker 16 (01:42:42):
I mean, do you realize that it always goes back
to always back to that in and you know, get
something more interesting to talk about that'd be great, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:42:54):
You know why she's so upset? And I love Mary
never mind. Remember as a fan, I like the end
of her call. I don't know if she's an old
woman or what.

Speaker 16 (01:43:12):
I like the shut up but.

Speaker 6 (01:43:15):
Up so but she's really nice. It's too much Wiener
talk around here with Poopcake on the show.

Speaker 1 (01:43:23):
We knew, we knew alongside you know what she reminds
me of. And I couldn't put my finger on it
until I was listening to it.

Speaker 21 (01:43:41):
Just now.

Speaker 1 (01:43:42):
She's the calm down lady, Calm down, stick her face
in the car. Kids, calm down, the kids, kids bop.
That's right. I'm not even gonna she's this kids Bob
Karen calling us you know what other women called? Dam
anything else to say?

Speaker 3 (01:43:59):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:44:00):
Yeah, who is the other woman? Where did I have that?
I'm not even gonna pull a stup check my list? Oh, okay,
Wendy is the other woman who called? You find Wendy's call.
This is off the Alan cock Show After Hours line,
which is always taking your calls. That is two one

(01:44:22):
six nine eighty nine three. Oh, she had a problem
at the end of the show to Alan, this is Wendy.

Speaker 16 (01:44:29):
I have been wanting to ask you something for a
while now, and I figure out what's the perfect time.

Speaker 1 (01:44:34):
And that is why at the end of every show
do you.

Speaker 25 (01:44:39):
Play George Costanzas saying he finds four of the Brady.

Speaker 1 (01:44:43):
Children incredibly arousing?

Speaker 16 (01:44:46):
What the kind of sick message is that? Why are
you playing that? It's not funny? Are you trying to
make us all uncomfortable? If so, it's working, why these
already stop? It's gross, it's weird, it's not right, not.

Speaker 1 (01:45:01):
Cool, weird.

Speaker 3 (01:45:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:45:04):
Anyway, first of all, Weddy, thank you so much for
staying for the whole show.

Speaker 1 (01:45:08):
Here's the end of the show. I do play thing.

Speaker 6 (01:45:11):
It's it's not George Costanza, but it is Jason Alexander.
He had a cartoon in the early nineties called duck Man.
Anybody remember Duckman.

Speaker 1 (01:45:18):
Watched duck Man. I loved Duckman.

Speaker 5 (01:45:21):
And now I must say to you, as the Brady
bunch is on and I find four of those children
incredibly arousing.

Speaker 1 (01:45:27):
Love that clip. Get out of here, Get out of here.

Speaker 6 (01:45:30):
That's right, so Jason Alexander, Yes, not the character George
command but yeah, so it's a cartoon duck that's attracted
to children. So yeah, now you know the rest of
the story, but thank you for staying to the end
of the show. You know somebody she tunes in maybe.

Speaker 1 (01:45:53):
Every time. I also had a woman twenty Ducks too much,
okay talking about other D'SO.

Speaker 6 (01:46:02):
I had a woman tweet me who runs some like
you two super fan account. She's like, I never really,
that's not a job. And my husband made me and
you came back with some YouTube bumper music and it
was a great I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:46:13):
Like, okay, cool people fans from all over it and not.
She was just like, and she's running some YouTube Twitter account.

Speaker 17 (01:46:19):
I'm like, oh, okay, there's someone that hit us up
on Twitter and wanted us to go, like hit up
me Mary and pound Cake and asked us to go
speak at to middle school and I kind of want
to make up all three of us do with that.

Speaker 8 (01:46:30):
Here's the thing, I take things like that too seriously.
I'm not going to do it because you will not
take it seriously. I'm like, I'm not going to go
talk to eleven year olds. And what if they want
you guys to talk to a middle stool.

Speaker 1 (01:46:42):
I don't know.

Speaker 8 (01:46:44):
They got like, but I would like I think of
that in a in a very like oh my god,
we can go talk to children and like inspire them
to do something in a creative field and that would
be super cool.

Speaker 1 (01:46:53):
And I remember when people did that kind of stuff
in our middle school and.

Speaker 8 (01:46:59):
Ste what are you going to do to troll them?
Because you're gonna troll. You're not gonna take it serious.

Speaker 1 (01:47:04):
But as your kids tell my story, be like, listen, kids,
I did not do well in school and I'm exactly
where I want to be, So don't take this craft
too serious. You don't have to listen to your teachers.
You don't have to do what they say.

Speaker 3 (01:47:13):
Kids.

Speaker 1 (01:47:15):
It's also but just react is why I want to
do it.

Speaker 8 (01:47:19):
Because my face would get all red and hot and
I like pinch you, like like from like knot a loop.

Speaker 1 (01:47:26):
Yes, stop kids, By the way, you need no kids
need no inspiration to follow a creative field because every
kid wants to be in something. No kid goes. I
want to be a lawyer. I wanted to be an
FBI agent. Well I did. Excuse it's because you didn't
know what it was. I know, I saw miss congeniality
and I was like, I did do that. You didn't
know what it was. I'll be the pretty FBI agent

(01:47:47):
who goes under cover and it saves women and their rights.
That's what I wanted to do. Hey, Mike, Yes, sir,
what's up man? I just want to apologize.

Speaker 24 (01:47:57):
Yesterday I called in and asked about Internet uh horn,
and I obviously contributed to that woman's anger.

Speaker 1 (01:48:04):
Well that's okay, it's not on you, Mike, it's on me.
It's really you know, I have a subscription and that
upsets her a lot.

Speaker 24 (01:48:13):
All right, Phil, Well, I forgive you if you forgive me, Hey,
you do.

Speaker 6 (01:48:16):
It's all good, Mike, Thank you, pal Is Mike out
and Seville Alan. I am a social worker for mentally
ill patients, and both of those women sound like patience. Well,
they certainly put on their creepiest voices for me. Always
happy to hear from you, and thank you for taking
the time to call. Uh but boy, she really did

(01:48:38):
not want anything to do with poopcake or cake poop
whose conversations do always circle back around to wieners.

Speaker 8 (01:48:48):
I honestly, when I was listening to them, I was like,
I wonder if they leave men voicemails like this, Like
if they called me like, hey, I had a really
nice date the other night, but I'd appreciate it if
you didn't bring a porn when we're having.

Speaker 1 (01:49:01):
Dinner, Poor nog Hi Allan.

Speaker 16 (01:49:04):
I've been a customer for ten years now. Boy, I
feel when you first started the show, your shows were
much more interesting and I had deeper meaning.

Speaker 1 (01:49:15):
And now every boy, i'd love to know one deeper
for her. When I started to.

Speaker 16 (01:49:20):
Hear in Cleveland, Poopcake or pound Poop or whatever his
name is, came on the show. All you seem to
talk about is penises, penises.

Speaker 1 (01:49:29):
What does she saying there that you're bleeping out d's
d d's penises, DS penises, d's penis.

Speaker 19 (01:49:35):
You just can I can you send me that so
I can use as my like ring tone? Of course
I would. I would make it my alarm clock. Like
that's actually pretty dope. Yeah, Poundcake, it's the poop Cake,
It's time to wake up. Just email me that I will.

Speaker 6 (01:49:46):
And it reminds me of the voicemail from Seinfeld the
lane gets and the lad doesn't swing her arms when
she walks. Remember when Molly Shannon works in Elane's office
and doesn't swing her arms when she walks I'm going to.

Speaker 1 (01:49:56):
Find you in the stock room. What other thoughts today have?

Speaker 6 (01:50:00):
Uh, Cody's been there five years out of ten, and
she still made it all ten years.

Speaker 1 (01:50:04):
I don't know what that means.

Speaker 6 (01:50:06):
I didn't take any of that to mean that they
don't listen. Clearly they do, but I don't know about penises.
But you talk about cocks quite often.

Speaker 1 (01:50:11):
Oh yeah, that's oh my god, Ellen.

Speaker 8 (01:50:17):
There was a crumb catcher at dinner last night.

Speaker 7 (01:50:19):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:50:20):
I was trying to give my phone out of a
little metal thing. I couldn't get my phone out.

Speaker 8 (01:50:24):
Fast enough to record it, and these guys are looking
like a crazy person, and I was.

Speaker 1 (01:50:27):
Like, oh, they're like what I was like?

Speaker 3 (01:50:29):
I was a crumb catcher.

Speaker 1 (01:50:33):
I was so excited about it, and it was so
bummed out that I couldn't get to my phone faster. Later,
so dis interested, hated us. He was talk about those
ladies too, because they said something to you. On the
way out. He grabbed me. Yeah, listener, people, I guess,
but people. I don't know why people feel so compelled
to put their hands on me. What did she she
give you a big hut?

Speaker 6 (01:50:52):
Wait a second, grabbed me from the back let's start
from the jump here. Why did the waiter hate you guys?

Speaker 1 (01:50:57):
I didn't hate us.

Speaker 8 (01:50:58):
I think it was just it was a Tuesday night,
they were closing in an hour and a half and it.

Speaker 1 (01:51:02):
Was just over being there would be. My guess he
didn't hate us. He was just like, hey, this is
gonna be I think he saw that we were an
easy table. We weren't going to ask for a ton
of things. Yeah we're upstairs or downstairs. We were like
in the bar ready for us to order, like we're
just gonna wait. I've been there.

Speaker 8 (01:51:18):
Here's one of those things. We were probably the last
table he was going to get out of the night,
and it was really desolate, sound like nothing was going
on Tuesday night, and yeah it's a Tuesday, but it
seemed like he would have was already probably didn't want
to be there, was annoyed, and then was like okay,
kind of just order order and get out of here,
like I'm done with them.

Speaker 1 (01:51:38):
It worked night, though, you though, no he didn't. It's
better than no table. It was fine service. He didn't
go above and beyond. He wasn't horrible.

Speaker 8 (01:51:45):
It was just one of those where you would given
off a vibe that he probably picked up that shift
in regrets.

Speaker 6 (01:51:50):
I never minded when somebody would come in kind of like, yeah,
I didn't mind it because it's like you doing your
side work anyway.

Speaker 1 (01:51:57):
You weren't slammed. I'm picking up candles and Peter play
and you know, and you just go on. It's leisurely.
Who cares?

Speaker 15 (01:52:03):
E Lan Talk Show on one hundred point seven WMMS,
The Ellen Cox Podcast anytime on our iyard radio app
What's Up?

Speaker 4 (01:52:14):
Oka?

Speaker 1 (01:52:15):
Like a TV show books out the pictures.

Speaker 19 (01:52:17):
Maybe that's called radio, but you're describing as.

Speaker 7 (01:52:19):
Radio and live on the radio weekday afternoons one hundred
point seven.

Speaker 1 (01:52:26):
You guys can come in, Gwenn and Noor. He's going on.

Speaker 6 (01:52:33):
There's no cameras today, so you have to worry about it.
Christmas Miracle, come here?

Speaker 1 (01:52:40):
Are you on the radio?

Speaker 3 (01:52:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:52:41):
That's right, that's his job.

Speaker 3 (01:52:42):
You know that.

Speaker 6 (01:52:42):
I have about another five minutes before I have to
take a break, So there's no cameras today, so you'll
just be in here with me. Okay, Yes, everybody's listening
to you right now, so be careful what you say.

Speaker 1 (01:52:52):
What do you what do you want to say? No,
what do you want to say, I don't know. Okay,
she's looking a cheery.

Speaker 6 (01:53:02):
We were just we were just talking to some friends
on the phone and they were saying that they were
we were asking what they were going to do for
the holidays, and he said he's going to stop working.

Speaker 1 (01:53:11):
He's worked a long long time and he's going to stop.

Speaker 18 (01:53:13):
Cool.

Speaker 6 (01:53:14):
Yeah, what did you We were talking this morning about
your elf on the shelf and how you uh or
were so amazed at her clothes?

Speaker 13 (01:53:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:53:25):
Because why yeah she had a minecrest sweater on right.
Yeah yeah yeah, and you've been asking every day how
many days until Christmas? Yeah? Mini calendar? Eleven days? How
was school good? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:53:42):
I'm off today and then you still have to go
to school for a week. You can uh, let me
see you got a mic over their bed?

Speaker 11 (01:53:53):
Hi?

Speaker 3 (01:53:54):
Hi?

Speaker 1 (01:53:56):
Yeah you know your mom does the show sometimes? Yeah? Yeah,
so people, Uh do do you do the show with us?

Speaker 13 (01:54:06):
You?

Speaker 1 (01:54:07):
I mean you're here Taylor Swift tickets? Remember that?

Speaker 6 (01:54:12):
Well, No, you've been in your little you would come
on read the old building. Yeah, when you had like
for Halloween.

Speaker 18 (01:54:19):
And Trigger Street together. Now you talk on your iPads
together across the country.

Speaker 1 (01:54:26):
Look at this mister Bill got me a doll. Yeah,
that's exactly like me. I got it made big fat face.

Speaker 3 (01:54:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:54:39):
Are you going to keep it in the box? Probably value? Yes,
well you have value. Dad, You hear that.

Speaker 10 (01:54:51):
Has value.

Speaker 1 (01:54:51):
There's a difference. I don't do.

Speaker 18 (01:54:56):
Much as someone will pay for you.

Speaker 1 (01:55:00):
Let's get down to business. What are you asking Santa
for Christmas? Yeah? What are you asking Santa for Christmas? Animals?

Speaker 23 (01:55:08):
Bobby's Pokemon colle it's done.

Speaker 25 (01:55:13):
She's got to be.

Speaker 1 (01:55:15):
Yeah, she's in her Pokemon face. You're raising a nerd.
Who's your favorite Pokemon?

Speaker 18 (01:55:25):
Do you remember the name Frank? Frank?

Speaker 1 (01:55:28):
Is there a Frank Pokemon?

Speaker 18 (01:55:30):
Okay, I don't know, I know, Okay, Sylvion, Sylvia.

Speaker 1 (01:55:40):
That's the Soprano's Pokemon. Oh you're going to catch me?
I'm a Pokemon? What all right?

Speaker 3 (01:55:54):
Good?

Speaker 28 (01:55:54):
Well?

Speaker 6 (01:55:54):
Yeah, so Pokemon Barbie all of a sudden, like Barbie
watch the movie?

Speaker 8 (01:56:01):
Do you want stuffed animals or squish mellows?

Speaker 1 (01:56:05):
Squish mellows are big? What your what? What animal like?
What stuffed animal do you want?

Speaker 23 (01:56:10):
I had a cat dog's actual models.

Speaker 1 (01:56:13):
Mostly Yes, I know what they are.

Speaker 18 (01:56:18):
They're very.

Speaker 1 (01:56:22):
I know they are good.

Speaker 8 (01:56:24):
Yeah, they kind of look like a fish, kind of
or like a lizard to them.

Speaker 1 (01:56:27):
What is very cute?

Speaker 8 (01:56:28):
What kind of animal is it? Is it an amphibian
or do you know, like a fish?

Speaker 23 (01:56:34):
It's either I'm pretty watching amphibian. Okay, I don't No,
I don't think it's a reptile.

Speaker 18 (01:56:41):
No, it's a type of salamander. Ah, but only that
they only stay in the water. They didn't live on
land at all.

Speaker 1 (01:56:47):
Okay, what did you find in the dish over there
in the green room? We went in for goldfish, but
they were all out. What what was there? Did you
house those?

Speaker 11 (01:56:55):
Yes?

Speaker 12 (01:56:55):
Oh you did?

Speaker 3 (01:56:56):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (01:56:56):
What were they?

Speaker 23 (01:56:57):
Peanut butter cups?

Speaker 1 (01:56:58):
Were they good? Yes?

Speaker 8 (01:57:00):
They were delicious? Well, okay, all right, is that your
favorite candy?

Speaker 18 (01:57:07):
My favorite candy is Twigs left.

Speaker 1 (01:57:09):
It's not the twigs right?

Speaker 20 (01:57:11):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:57:13):
No, are you left handed?

Speaker 3 (01:57:16):
Am I?

Speaker 12 (01:57:17):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:57:17):
You're right handed. You just like the left one better.

Speaker 18 (01:57:19):
She just picked.

Speaker 1 (01:57:20):
I can't get a right I can't get a left
handed kid to save my life. You're left handed? Yes,
I got three right handed kids. Brew no fault of
their own. But yeah, I know, yeah, twigs left.

Speaker 23 (01:57:31):
It's not my fault that I'm late.

Speaker 1 (01:57:33):
I know it's not.

Speaker 6 (01:57:34):
It's absolutely not. We still got a giant bowl of
Halloween candy.

Speaker 1 (01:57:39):
Acrossa cocks too. It gets dipped into occasionally. Is it out?
It's out? Well, it sounds like a credenza, you know.

Speaker 18 (01:57:47):
Not in a cabinet or literally still like a cat
a plastic cat head bowl.

Speaker 1 (01:57:54):
It's delicious. Still.

Speaker 18 (01:57:55):
I tried to put a couple of pieces in our
lunch because I don't know what else to do with it.

Speaker 23 (01:57:59):
Yeah, something, It's like after I just asked you if
I can have a couple of pieces, why.

Speaker 1 (01:58:04):
You just eat it all?

Speaker 18 (01:58:04):
When they're not looking, Nora, tell them how much you
got this year? Do you remember how much it weighed?

Speaker 1 (01:58:10):
Like four pounds, almost five five four point nine pounds.
I thought it's almost funny you could do that in
one week. We took the luggage scale and weighed your
bag and it was four point nine pounds.

Speaker 18 (01:58:24):
That's true.

Speaker 23 (01:58:27):
Can you hear my knee speaking to you?

Speaker 1 (01:58:30):
Because your knee is next to the microphone, I'm pretty
sure it's not going to say anything.

Speaker 6 (01:58:35):
She is the girl who says, right, it's not going
to say anything. Have your knees ever spoken to you before?
Be honest, have your knees ever said one single thing
to you before?

Speaker 18 (01:58:47):
Maybe?

Speaker 1 (01:58:48):
Oh maybe maybe? And what are they saying? Are they
at least nice to you?

Speaker 3 (01:58:54):
Huh?

Speaker 1 (01:58:56):
They're going to talk to you every morning? Quick click,
come your knee?

Speaker 3 (01:59:01):
Yeah? What grade are you?

Speaker 25 (01:59:02):
And Nora?

Speaker 1 (01:59:03):
Are you in first grade or second grade? Second? Second?

Speaker 6 (01:59:05):
Man, that's fast, second grade. He's going to be eight
in February. Right, you have a birthday and then mister
Bill and Juno.

Speaker 1 (01:59:15):
Had the same birthday.

Speaker 17 (01:59:17):
Oh wow, yeah, and you'll probably get a cat for
your birthday because that's what your dad said, he wants
to get you for your birthday.

Speaker 6 (01:59:22):
I said, that's not even everyone knows. I would never
ever say that.

Speaker 23 (01:59:27):
You know that because grandma's a lilllegic and then she
would never be able to come to a little house.

Speaker 1 (01:59:32):
That's why you said you wanted to get it.

Speaker 18 (01:59:34):
It's real.

Speaker 1 (01:59:37):
Yeah, no, no cats.

Speaker 23 (01:59:39):
Mom hates cats.

Speaker 1 (01:59:40):
Well, Mary is a big fan. Mary has a cat.

Speaker 18 (01:59:43):
I don't know how to take care of a cat.

Speaker 1 (01:59:45):
I have a cat. You don't have to take care
of them house.

Speaker 10 (01:59:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 18 (01:59:50):
Here, here's the thing is she likes to watch funny
animal videos and they're full of cats. Climbing curtains, setting
things on fire, ripping stuff down. I don't Yeah, I
don't need that.

Speaker 7 (02:00:01):
I don't.

Speaker 18 (02:00:02):
I mean, if they want to like snuggle and hang out,
like I get it, yeah, but not if they want
to like dominate my house.

Speaker 1 (02:00:09):
My cat's super chill.

Speaker 8 (02:00:10):
So she's honestly under the bed most of the time,
and then she'll come out to like eat, use the bathroom,
cuddle up with me. And then she's just like doesn't
get into anything, doesn't knock stuff off the counters, does
it clawp anything.

Speaker 1 (02:00:22):
Yeah, she's super chill.

Speaker 18 (02:00:23):
Does she like sit with you though, because if she's
just under your bed, like what's the point.

Speaker 3 (02:00:26):
No, she'll sit away.

Speaker 1 (02:00:27):
It's like fifty to fifty. Oh, so she's like, oh, like.

Speaker 8 (02:00:30):
I don't know what she's doing when I'm not home,
but like usually around she comes out later at night,
like eight or nine, she'll come out and be ready
to like hang out for the night.

Speaker 18 (02:00:39):
It is, Yeah, they don't all they're not all bad.
Not all cats seem to watch a lot of videos
of the bad ones.

Speaker 1 (02:00:51):
It is actually cats are the bad ones. I'll give
you that.

Speaker 18 (02:00:53):
Yeah, do you know we're not going to get any
other animals until well, you know, crosses the Rainbow Bridge.
It was but another ten years.

Speaker 1 (02:01:04):
So ten years I mean ideally, yes, ten years.

Speaker 23 (02:01:13):
Yeah, you know it's almost thirteen, I know.

Speaker 1 (02:01:15):
Yeah, yeah, well okay, yeah, yep.

Speaker 3 (02:01:20):
Ell.

Speaker 6 (02:01:21):
Everybody's accusing you of not being sentimental. But you almost
killed that kid for breaking your seashell.

Speaker 1 (02:01:26):
Oh yeah, your seashell in the when my car I
detailed my car, right, the one detail I almost killed him?

Speaker 10 (02:01:34):
I did, he did.

Speaker 6 (02:01:35):
I almost ran him over. He was in the middle
of the street and I almost ran him over with
my car.

Speaker 1 (02:01:38):
And then he got out and I'm just standing on
his neck and then he put your teeth on the curve.
That's right, I did American history times.

Speaker 23 (02:01:48):
Yes, that one time when you were giving me like
a hamburger and you asked the guy for a point
in hamburger and you almost had you. You almost had
to fight him because he wouldn't give you a plain hamburger.

Speaker 1 (02:02:04):
I don't remember that at all. I had to fight
where were We don't give you whatever you want?

Speaker 3 (02:02:13):
Huh.

Speaker 6 (02:02:14):
He wouldn't give me a plane hamburger. That's less work
for them. You might have had a dream, are you dreaming?
That I'm fighting people for hamburgers. That would be your
knees are talking, I'm fighting in your dreams.

Speaker 1 (02:02:29):
What's going on?

Speaker 3 (02:02:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:02:35):
Right, people are offering to be my honorary left handed child.
By the way, these are all grown ass adults. It's
not that important to me. It's just it's just like
a little stupid factoid, you know. But you know, back
in the day, if he went to Catholic school, they
didn't want anybody riding with their left hand, so they'd
smack your left hand, and you had a generation of
kids that grew up with scribbly right hand penmanship.

Speaker 1 (02:03:00):
To tell what it said. Yeah, but it's not because
your hand got smacked in handwriting.

Speaker 17 (02:03:06):
Yeah, I had to sign something today and I was
like writing out with a pen and I'm like, I
am so bad at writing now, I really can't do it.

Speaker 1 (02:03:15):
It's all it's I've found myself because I never write
pen to paper journal all the time, so you write.
But I have found myself on occasion forgetting how to
form a letter.

Speaker 6 (02:03:26):
Like you'll be writing a word, you do like a
certain flow when you write a word, and I'll stop,
what letter because.

Speaker 1 (02:03:35):
Like a I don't know I don't know pick one.
I don't even know how to write now, notn cursive.

Speaker 6 (02:03:40):
But you know, even if even if you're just writing
normal penmanship not cursive, you just kind of get into
a flow. And I have found myself because I just
write less and less on things you're either typing or
you know. I mean, there's like one place left where
I still have to write a check.

Speaker 17 (02:03:56):
I was doing, like signing posters over the weekend when
I was in Arlington, and I'm writing people's names, and
my brain just is so bad sending signals from my
brain to my hand because of my dyslexia that I'm
just like having to scribble out names all the time
because I start writing it and then I start writing
the end of the name before the middle of the name,

(02:04:18):
just because my brain.

Speaker 1 (02:04:19):
Works faster than my hand, and it's just a nightmare.
The stamp just Bill Squire stamp.

Speaker 3 (02:04:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (02:04:27):
Yes, I always had really nice handwriting, like big, bubbly,
girly handwriting.

Speaker 1 (02:04:31):
I've always had that.

Speaker 6 (02:04:32):
Oh, I used to have amazing handwriting, but now it's
chicken scratch it because I've what are you laughing about?

Speaker 1 (02:04:38):
How's your handwriting?

Speaker 4 (02:04:40):
Good?

Speaker 1 (02:04:40):
Pretty good?

Speaker 18 (02:04:41):
Was amazing yeah, handwriting when you try hard. Yeah, when
you don't care, how good is it?

Speaker 10 (02:04:53):
All right?

Speaker 1 (02:04:53):
I want her to have good handwriting.

Speaker 18 (02:04:55):
I want her to have nice handwriting.

Speaker 1 (02:04:56):
Now, I like my ace collectively. I used to do
an oh with the law in it and.

Speaker 18 (02:05:00):
Look like a cue.

Speaker 2 (02:05:01):
Now I do this.

Speaker 18 (02:05:04):
There you go like the little loop and the internet
will crash and well I'll go back to paper.

Speaker 1 (02:05:08):
So the matters, how did you change your your a?
How did you come around to doing that?

Speaker 2 (02:05:14):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:05:15):
Yeah, so not the school. They weren't like, hey, do
it this way? You got home and mom said, hey,
mom was picking up the slack. Yeah.

Speaker 17 (02:05:24):
Yeah, is there anybody you want to call out in
the air from your school? Anybody you're beefing with?

Speaker 1 (02:05:30):
Anybody you're Yeah, do you want to mention? Wait you're
not by wait?

Speaker 3 (02:05:38):
Who?

Speaker 1 (02:05:41):
Oh yeah, what happened?

Speaker 3 (02:05:44):
No, I'm.

Speaker 23 (02:05:46):
If this person is watching Julia Pattison, awesome, Joey, I
know you once watched this show.

Speaker 1 (02:05:56):
So just saying, if Joey is listening listening, yeah, no
cameras me and.

Speaker 23 (02:06:02):
You don't know me, then I'm not really talking to.

Speaker 3 (02:06:08):
You don't know me.

Speaker 1 (02:06:09):
I'm not really talking to She's got bars eminem verse.

Speaker 22 (02:06:13):
What do you mean.

Speaker 6 (02:06:18):
Yeah, if you're talking to anybody named Joey but they
don't know you, they're probably going to figure out that
they're not who you're talking to, right, Yeah, yeah, No, what's.

Speaker 1 (02:06:28):
Your favorite Christmas movie? One?

Speaker 10 (02:06:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (02:06:34):
That one?

Speaker 1 (02:06:35):
Did you watch the second one where he's in New York?
You even watched that one. We've watched Home Alone too.
I thought you should watch Home Alone to Lost in
New York. I think you'd like that one too. I
have a tea, especially since your friend Mary is moving
to New York and moving to New York. Like, I
have a T shirt that has the Wet bandits on it.

Speaker 18 (02:06:55):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 8 (02:06:56):
It says wanted and it looks like a poster. Scott
says wanting. It's got both their pictures and this says
the Wet band It's right on the bottom of it. Well,
it's on my favorite Christmas shirts that I wear.

Speaker 25 (02:07:04):
Cool?

Speaker 1 (02:07:05):
Thanks, cool, cool, cool story, bro, Yeah da dad, I'm agree.
I'm co signing. Oh yeah, yeah, good job. Hey, thanks
my approval, your thumbs up and your approval. Yeah, stamp
of approval.

Speaker 3 (02:07:25):
So there's no came wasn't giving his sobs up?

Speaker 8 (02:07:27):
Currently yes, right currently, all right, well thank you. You're
like Elf, that's the bell yeah, uh huh. Elf is
a really gooding of What about the Santa Claus? Have
you seen the Santa Claus? Oh you haven't seen that one?

Speaker 1 (02:07:40):
Okay, yes you have where there's all there the guy
is the dad and stand is on his roof. I
think where the.

Speaker 8 (02:07:49):
Guys are Dad take over for Yeah, he has to
become Santa Claus. And he has his little boy named Charlie.

Speaker 18 (02:07:55):
I remember, she still doesn't like remember half of her life.

Speaker 1 (02:08:00):
Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 18 (02:08:02):
Yeah, so we'll be like She's like, I've never fill
in the blank. I'm like, yes, you have multiple times,
but you don't remember.

Speaker 1 (02:08:08):
Yeah. My favorite Chris movie Christmas movie is Friday After Next.

Speaker 18 (02:08:11):
Into movies in general until I watched him.

Speaker 1 (02:08:15):
Yes, and Cody, your favorite movie is what Friday after Next?
Friday after Next, that's your favorite Christmas I've never seen
any of those Friday movies, so I didn't know what
I just never I never got to them, Like he's sup,
because I'm constantly surprising. I get like by Felicia, Like

(02:08:36):
that's the only thing I know that people say but
I don't know every day that wasn't.

Speaker 6 (02:08:40):
I haven't seen either of them, That's what I'm saying, Like,
I don't know when people make references to those movies.

Speaker 8 (02:08:45):
Friday next Friday, and then Friday Friday after next.

Speaker 1 (02:08:49):
I'm Cody, I'm pound Cake. They don't have headphones. You
never mind. I couldn't hear you.

Speaker 6 (02:08:55):
It's okay, he's down the hall. We don't let him
come in, Uncle pound Cake. He's talking to callers and
it's noisy, and he's noisy. It's a whole thing wow.
And he hates ax Lottels. So I don't want him
in here for that. Because what kind of I don't know.

Speaker 17 (02:09:13):
People want to hear you say, uh, what kind of
thing was your dad yelling and fighting a guy about
what sandwich?

Speaker 1 (02:09:20):
The food? The food that he was trying to get
you a plane? Hamburger? Yeah right, well hamburger. That actually happened,
And you don't remember. Well, I think I, as a
grown man, would remember. I don't.

Speaker 6 (02:09:36):
I wouldn't try to fight somebody over hamburger. I'd say,
to fight you, Oh, they were trying to fight me
over a plane?

Speaker 1 (02:09:43):
Hamburger, You're gonna get pickles on this or whether or
not I've already diced the onions. All right, leave me alone.
This is for a child. I don't care. No. I
think that maybe was a dream you were having, and
you might well, yeah, the dreams all you.

Speaker 14 (02:10:04):
Might.

Speaker 6 (02:10:05):
You might want to you might want to up your
dream game maybe you're having.

Speaker 1 (02:10:12):
Nor have you seen The Grinch with Jim Carrey.

Speaker 23 (02:10:16):
I've seen the animated one because the vacine plebly is creepy.

Speaker 17 (02:10:22):
It's a little bit, but it's really fun. I think
you can probably handle it. Maybe next year. No, you
think you're too scared.

Speaker 1 (02:10:29):
Yep, just the animated one.

Speaker 18 (02:10:31):
You've seen it? The newest one, like the newest iteration, know, the.

Speaker 1 (02:10:35):
One from like the Jim Carrey One's Who's cumber batches one?

Speaker 6 (02:10:41):
Yeah, the Jim Carrey in the full on huh, Benedict
Cumber batches the actor? What is Bebber cumber badge?

Speaker 3 (02:10:54):
Of course.

Speaker 23 (02:10:57):
Be Batch then that no name, definitely normal name. Anyone's
watching name bebel Cumbu Batch. That is a normal name.

Speaker 1 (02:11:08):
Don't listen to my dad.

Speaker 23 (02:11:10):
Right, yes, listen to him, but don't listen to what
he says.

Speaker 1 (02:11:13):
I don't want to start any beef with the bebber
cumber batches.

Speaker 10 (02:11:16):
Of the world.

Speaker 23 (02:11:18):
At surprisingly, Yeah, probably a lot, because how many people
in the world.

Speaker 6 (02:11:23):
The eight billion We just hit the eight billion mark.
How many out of eight billion people worldwide? What percentage
do you think are beber cumber batches?

Speaker 1 (02:11:32):
How many people are named that?

Speaker 13 (02:11:34):
Five?

Speaker 6 (02:11:35):
Five and the whole five percent or five in the
whole world. That's a lot of batches. Many people also
named bort.

Speaker 1 (02:11:50):
Oh, there's atlast two people name uh huh.

Speaker 23 (02:11:53):
For my experience watching TV.

Speaker 1 (02:11:55):
You like the Simpsons, right, you want to see some Simpsons.

Speaker 3 (02:11:59):
I saw the Who.

Speaker 23 (02:12:01):
Stayed Bullet and then he's like, come on, Bullet, are
you talking to me because my.

Speaker 1 (02:12:06):
Name is also Bullet. No, I'm talking to my son Bully.
Come look at my shoes that I have. That there,
mister Bills.

Speaker 2 (02:12:15):
Shoes.

Speaker 1 (02:12:16):
They look like the Simpsons living room.

Speaker 18 (02:12:18):
Those are cool.

Speaker 1 (02:12:20):
They got the painting on there on this tongue, on
the tongue and then on the back. I don't have
a picture, but they have the cat and the dog.
Yeah you have Lisa Simpson pony shoes, right, yeah, yeah,
polish shoes. All right, I have to take a break,
don't I do.

Speaker 18 (02:12:41):
I will believe. So everyone who turned off, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (02:12:47):
I'm sorry. Well, say goodbye to bember Cover, Beber cumber Batch.

Speaker 23 (02:12:51):
Goodbye all the Bebble Combo batches. If you know anyone
in bebel Cumbo Batch, tell them and then ask them
to tell anyone that they know names. Yeah, you see
who in the world was named Bebble compa.

Speaker 1 (02:13:03):
Like a game of telephone. Okay, all right, here we go.
All right, this is the.

Speaker 2 (02:13:08):
Allen Carr Show everywhere on our free iHeartRadio app.

Speaker 1 (02:13:12):
Or whatever smart device you have. Just tell it to
blay the Allen Cox Show on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 3 (02:13:19):
Allen Carcio.

Speaker 1 (02:13:20):
He's fit and has bags of Kidsmen.

Speaker 5 (02:13:26):
On one hundred point seven, domma.

Speaker 6 (02:13:29):
Did you see the rapper who shot He went into
his pocket and his gun was in there.

Speaker 1 (02:13:34):
Is doing a podcast. Did you see this?

Speaker 6 (02:13:35):
My buddy said it to me so good, Oh God,
and nobody got hurt. It would have been way better
if someone had been shot, by the way. Okay, he
get hurt now, okay, just went off. So Mike d
is a He's an og boy from Houston, old rapper
who like everyone else on the planet, who draws Breath
has a podcast and his fellow h Town rapper, Too

(02:13:59):
Low no younger man was his guest, and they're sitting
there talking one on one with Mike D. Mike he's
a well known guy there in Houston in the rap community,
and Toulo. They're just in there chatting and Too Low
he's got a gun in his pocket like you do,
and uh, he just reaches into his pocket like he's,

(02:14:22):
you know, trying to separate his nutsack from the inside
of his thigh, and the.

Speaker 1 (02:14:27):
Gun goes off.

Speaker 6 (02:14:29):
You can see the muzzleflash through his pants and everyone's surprised,
but no one's hurt.

Speaker 1 (02:14:36):
And choices we got in life, those were your choices. Somebody.
Oh hey, Brody, there's like a chihuahua walking around. You know,

(02:14:58):
I just love what. I love this dumbfounded look on
his face. You have a gun in your pocket, and
you know I love that. Mike D is so relaxed.
He's like, who shot who? Yes, that's what I'm saying,
Tony shot. This guy is a true og. He doesn't
hit the deck when a gun goes off. No, He's
just like, Okay, this is Houston. Who shot who? Yeah,

(02:15:18):
somebody gets shut yep, like that old arethas On. It's
the best head what I want with my da shot me?
He just goes back into promo in the show.

Speaker 6 (02:15:35):
Hey, because in his brain he goes, oh, I just
got my clip. I got my viral clip for this
podcast that probably nobody outside of Houston knows.

Speaker 1 (02:15:43):
And now everybody is looking at this today. Oh, now,
do you wonder if it's fake? Maybe?

Speaker 6 (02:15:48):
Oh, I don't think so. Everybody looks surprised in this.
Is it a two shot? They're sitting there talking somewhere.
Dude reaches into his pocket because it's a miracle nobody
did get shot, right, I mean his his leg. You're
just sitting in a chair, so you reach into your pocket.
If he hadn't dropped his leg so that the round

(02:16:09):
went into the floor, it would have gone like parallel
to the floor.

Speaker 1 (02:16:13):
And I don't know, hit somebody in choices we got
in life, those were your choices. Yeah, he's so nonchalant
about it. Mike d boy, how many gunshots you've had
to have heard to have that be your reaction? You

(02:16:35):
know what, though living here has made me soft, But
if you live people on the East Side probably will
know this. People who live in the city of Cleveland.
You know, you do get used to hearing gunfire, and
it never.

Speaker 6 (02:16:55):
It gets to be like a car alarm after a while.
I mean, unless it's right outside your window. You know,
if there's people getting rounds through their living room wall
or whatever, that's a whole other thing. Listening in an
apartment complex, they'll still wake up in the middle of
the night. But you know, for people who live in
neighborhoods that are used to that, it's it's just like

(02:17:17):
caps going off.

Speaker 1 (02:17:19):
But in the room, this guy, that's what I'm saying,
he just likes, Hey, who got shot? Somebody gets shot? Yeah,
who got shot?

Speaker 6 (02:17:27):
So I don't know how many people are listening to
one on one with Mike d there in Houston, but
a lot more people paying attention to it now, so
at least they'll get a spike, right, people go, oh,
nobody got shot this week, and maybe this is probably.

Speaker 1 (02:17:41):
Going to be good for too Low's streams. Two Low
is the rapper there who reached into his pocket.

Speaker 6 (02:17:48):
And you know, so a little listen, who among us
has not who among us has not been the victim
of a little accident discharge.

Speaker 1 (02:18:02):
By this guy?

Speaker 6 (02:18:03):
Another responsible gun owner. But yeah, nobody got hurt again.
He would have been a way better story if somebody
had gotten shot fatally, But that would have been the
icing on the cake.

Speaker 1 (02:18:16):
Grazed. You know, Mike d got shot or to hit himself. Well,
that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (02:18:22):
Usually you got a gun in your pocket, it goes off,
you shoot yourself.

Speaker 1 (02:18:25):
Right, he didn't even do that. Blows the tail off
the chihuahua.

Speaker 6 (02:18:30):
That's why he's I think he's legit amazed that he's okay,
everybody's in one piece.

Speaker 5 (02:18:36):
Well, look on his face for sure, said he was surprised. Yeah,
and on the only Jimmy I need is buffet dismissed,
take away his text card. Yeah, listen, do what a
lot of people do. Hide that gun in your butt.

(02:18:57):
It looked a little bigger than that, But you know,
I I was like the a lot of people. There's
certain things that people enjoy at the beginning of the year.
What I always wait for is the annual report from
the previous year that comes out in January from the
US Consumer Product Safety Commission about the things that were
retrieved from people's rectums the year prior. There is a

(02:19:21):
database that the CPSC keeps of emergency room visits, and
you go, well, Alan, we've all been privy to things
in people's rectums for a long long time.

Speaker 1 (02:19:35):
I will see your nether regions and I will raise you.

Speaker 6 (02:19:40):
They also keep database of things stuck in people's penises
and vaginas. So if you're so cool that the rectum
stuff doesn't do it for you anymore, how do you
feel about things getting stuck all over the place. Yes,

(02:20:00):
while everybody else is like New Year, knew me, can't
wait to do this and this and this, you boy
ac over here is waiting for that Consumer Product Safety
Commission database report of things that got stuck in people's butts,
because that's all I'm concerned with. Butts in penises and vaginas.

Speaker 1 (02:20:19):
A memoir by Alan Coms.

Speaker 6 (02:20:21):
Well, listen, they have the This isn't something that they
release as a public service. I guess it's just more
of kind of a salacious report that comes out. And
there are people who compile these things, obviously, emergency room
technicians and things. So I've got a list for each.
You tell me where you want to start. I mean,

(02:20:43):
rectum is an oldie, but goodie.

Speaker 1 (02:20:45):
Yeah, we're used to that. Let's start there. We'll start
with rectum.

Speaker 6 (02:20:50):
Patient states again, these are just transcribed from the medical reports.
Patient states that he and his wife quote got carried
away and a portion of a plastic screwdriver handle is
in his rectum.

Speaker 1 (02:21:04):
Okay, a portion. Where's the rest of it sticking out?

Speaker 18 (02:21:10):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (02:21:13):
You thought I kia was complicated before? Wow, where's my
alan ranch?

Speaker 3 (02:21:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:21:20):
But was it a flathead or a phillips? They're really
leaving out pertinent information. A xylophone mallet doesn't say which end.
I would probably know which end. A twelve inch ratchet
extender patient quote doesn't know why it's in there. Yeah,
that's ratchet, all right. Cylindrical wooden block you want to

(02:21:44):
impress me? Go for the square cooking spray. I assume
they mean the can.

Speaker 1 (02:21:49):
Oh my god. Patient quote.

Speaker 6 (02:21:53):
Patient states that she believes she has a vibrator in
either her rectum or vagina.

Speaker 1 (02:22:00):
She wasn't sure which, right. I assume that would feel different. No,
why does it have to be either? Let's do both.

Speaker 6 (02:22:09):
Come on, ladies, and then your shampoo bottle, lotion bottle,
can of deodorant, plastic bottle with the bottom cut off.

Speaker 5 (02:22:19):
You also think that cooking spray would just kind of
come out easily. It's like a glide.

Speaker 6 (02:22:23):
Yeah, you'd certainly think so just went in sprayed at
once a Yeah, what is that PAM coconut oil?

Speaker 1 (02:22:31):
Ankle. These are quotes from these medical reports.

Speaker 6 (02:22:34):
Ankle, abdominal and neck pain after jumping off a second
floor balcony.

Speaker 1 (02:22:40):
Foreign body in a rectum. Didn't say what it was,
like a bag yet, I.

Speaker 6 (02:22:45):
Didn't say what it was broomstick eighteen inch dildo dildo
from four days ago.

Speaker 5 (02:22:54):
Oh boy, it's a long time that thing in. Yeah,
you know that guy was just like, come on, son
of a, it's just come out. I don't want to
go to the doctor. Four days before he finally went yeah, there's.

Speaker 6 (02:23:04):
Probably a lot of please please please please please please
please please please.

Speaker 1 (02:23:08):
Yeah, and then, of course a variety of batteries.

Speaker 6 (02:23:12):
Shoved a bag containing twenty hydroxyzine pills into his rectum
for quote Street Cred patient quote tried to remove poop
with a pen a few days ago, lost pen in rectum,
swallowed it. Tried to remove poop to fix your diet.

(02:23:37):
It's not supposed to be like concrete scrub brush has
a plastic baby bottle up there, states she and her
male partner quote getting kinky wire hangar about that from
the Joan Crawford collection. Patient states he tripped in the
shower and fell backwards and say it with me, landed

(02:24:00):
on a shampoo bottle. Million one shot, doc. Seely Jerry
is up there. Patient states, slipped and fell in the bathtub,
landing on a shark toy. Boy, there's so many slips
and falls in the I've never once slipped in the
shower and fallen onto something because you'd have to slip

(02:24:24):
in the shower and fall with your legs in front
of you in the street, bands straight down.

Speaker 1 (02:24:31):
Have you had your fill of rerect them? I can
move on to penis or vagina.

Speaker 5 (02:24:37):
You gotta save the penis for last, I think, because
hopefully you'll run out of time and not talk about that.

Speaker 1 (02:24:40):
Okay.

Speaker 6 (02:24:41):
Patient reports, I just gotten married presence with a sex
toy stuck in rectum. Darts plastic lemon still erect them. Yeah,
motorized tire pump.

Speaker 1 (02:24:54):
How m M A motorized you know what that? And
that's like those air compressors and was inflated for a
duration of approximately five minutes. That can kill you. By
the way. Oh yeah yeah, broken light bulb.

Speaker 6 (02:25:09):
I bet a one broken when it went in, took
vibrator out, noticed battery had fallen out.

Speaker 1 (02:25:16):
Yeah, that's why you put the front in, not the
back end. I mean, who are all you rookies doing this?
Stuffing it wrong?

Speaker 6 (02:25:25):
If you like the ass play, I mean, there's better
ways to uh vagina, plastic triceratops, bobby pin, shot glass.
Patient reports partner was wearing an enhancement apparatus that became
stuck following intercourse. Maybe one of them vibrate and sea
rings or something. Spork whoa, how about that, ladies?

Speaker 1 (02:25:49):
If you can get a spork up there?

Speaker 5 (02:25:51):
You know they were fishing for something too, like that
wasn't like they didn't just say, hey, let's put this
in there. They were like, let's use this to get
something out of there. Yeah, it's like a rubber like
something had to have. That was a retrieval tool.

Speaker 6 (02:26:01):
That's what happens when you get horny after you've housed
the whole thing is KFC coalslaw.

Speaker 1 (02:26:06):
What do you got near us? Honey? That'll work? I
just finished the mashed potatoes. Maybe desperate to start digging
with a sport boy.

Speaker 6 (02:26:18):
Curling iron, dry erase marker, bag of soil. What well,
if you've got a green thumb, you've got a green
thumb bag of soil. Was rough housing with her patient
was rough housing with her husband, who lifted her up
and accidentally dropped her on a hot dog cooker.

Speaker 1 (02:26:40):
Damn, that's what I call it, Like the spinny.

Speaker 3 (02:26:45):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (02:26:45):
As he was bleeding, I gotta look up hot dog
candle Key's finger puppet, microchip pencil comma sideways. Wow, Oh
my god, that's a lady who's had a lot of kids.
You put a pencil in sideways.

Speaker 1 (02:27:02):
Maybe it's like a golf pencil though, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you got a tykonder Rogan number two. The og leads unsharpened.
Oh my god. All right, so I'll finish with penis.

Speaker 6 (02:27:13):
I mean again, this is just this is transcription from
the database the US Consumer Product Safety Commission. I wait
all year for this, right, this is my late Christmas
present because they dropped this January one every year for
the data from twenty twenty four, the year prior.

Speaker 1 (02:27:31):
I slipped and fell on a pencil with my penis.

Speaker 6 (02:27:35):
I was playing golf. And some of these obviously it
just they just record the item. Some of them they
record more detail. Took a piece of plastic sorry, took
a piece of plastic coated paper from a milk container, Okay,
rolled it tightly, wrapped it with tape to the size

(02:27:58):
of quote greater than a and inserted it as far
as he could into his penis several hours ago, as
far as he could. Why why as far as he could?
Oh my god, air pod left or right?

Speaker 1 (02:28:22):
I love this song.

Speaker 6 (02:28:26):
Coffee stirr. None of these are gonna make you feel great. Guys,
by the way, none of these are tapered. None of
them are, you know, nothing as bad as that freaking
cram so far. But I do still love these adventurers,
these people who are like I want to see what

(02:28:46):
the human body can withstand at great peril to myself.
I have been so numbed by modern life, I have
been so irretrievably hurt and broken by my fellow man
that this is all I can do to feel something,
is to put the handle of a plastic spoon into
my ure throat. Oh my good lord, man ring from

(02:29:12):
power aid bottle, Oh Domino again charging cable.

Speaker 1 (02:29:22):
Thermometer. About that.

Speaker 6 (02:29:25):
I want to see how hot a gun in there? Uh,
when I'm with my lady, it feels like it's you know,
two twelve.

Speaker 3 (02:29:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:29:33):
So, I mean again, the og on these lists is
recked them. I mean, you know you're not gonna do
nobody's gonna top rect them.

Speaker 5 (02:29:42):
I thought you were gonna go with like penal injuries,
like you know, something happened where you by accident, somebody
was on a job site and a nail got shot
through their Wiener.

Speaker 6 (02:29:52):
No, nothing like Guinness Book or World Records or anything
like that. It's all garden variety on your own insertions.

Speaker 1 (02:29:59):
Yeah, impeatable. You got that right. Well, the Wiener stuff
was bad, dude. That clean stuff's bad because rectum and
vagina are obviously known to be able to accommodate penis,
even if you don't have one.

Speaker 6 (02:30:12):
I mean, you ladies, or you people in transition. You
know you're aware that is a very very minuscule aperture.
There's no way around that. Perfume bottle okay, in the
oh yeah, in the Winner, Yeah, rolled up magazine page. Now,

(02:30:33):
I think the only saving grace here is boy magazines
just turnt as thick as they used to be. You know,
with the death of print advertising, there's probably never been
a better time to put magazine pages in your wiener.

Speaker 1 (02:30:44):
It was the awkwardio sample. Yeah, smell down.

Speaker 6 (02:30:49):
The paper clip wax straw. See this is where the
transition to paper straws really come in handy.

Speaker 1 (02:30:56):
Yeah, a lot going on there, a.

Speaker 13 (02:30:59):
Kurt Hey, there Allen hate the show, thanks man with
Back in the late nineties. Back in the late nineties,
I worked at the field Play the emergency room and
worked a lot of overnight shifts where we had a
lot of weird stuff. And we had a guy come
in one time who had four double A batteries, one
in all in the row in his urethra.

Speaker 10 (02:31:22):
Did know how they got there?

Speaker 6 (02:31:25):
Did they have to open them up or were they
able to like pinch it from the base and get
them out they believe it or not.

Speaker 13 (02:31:32):
It could really stretch. Oh, they just dilated and took
them out one at a time.

Speaker 6 (02:31:38):
You know how like when you wash your sweatpants and
the rope gets caught in the voice band and you
got and you got to you gotta inch worm the
not all the way to the hole again, yell a.

Speaker 25 (02:31:49):
Lot was little man in the totem pole.

Speaker 1 (02:31:51):
So I was not about the help of that situation.

Speaker 6 (02:31:54):
I bet you were never happier to be low man
in the totem pole. He's like, I don't want to
be high man on this totem pole.

Speaker 1 (02:32:00):
You know what would suck to He said.

Speaker 5 (02:32:01):
Imagine you're the guy that actually goes to the hospital, right,
you got the four double A batteries in your penis.
You get there and you say, I have no idea
how this happened. Hey, you're serious, Like, say you passed
out a party and someone shoved four double A batteries
into your pecker.

Speaker 1 (02:32:13):
You have to go to school to go to the hospital.

Speaker 5 (02:32:16):
You're being asked as far as ever, and people are like, oh, yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 (02:32:20):
You don't know what happened.

Speaker 13 (02:32:21):
Maybe he was trying to do a magic trick and
you'll see a light bulb light up.

Speaker 1 (02:32:26):
Yeah, I don't know. Well you lived to literally tell
the tale.

Speaker 3 (02:32:29):
Man.

Speaker 1 (02:32:31):
All right, thank you, Kurt, Everyone all right, I have
no idea how that got there. Most common answer given.

Speaker 6 (02:32:41):
Million to one shot doc It was a million to one.
I fell forward onto a pen It just happened to line.

Speaker 1 (02:32:49):
Up standing up on the ground. Yeah all right, well good.

Speaker 6 (02:32:55):
Why it's a fun little cautionary tale. I think you
ladies are in a whole thing, because I mean, if
you can do kids, you can do all this stuff.
You know what you can accommodate. Now, And I had
one of those one in a million shots happened to me.
I was at my computer and my cat went to.

Speaker 1 (02:33:17):
Jump on my lap.

Speaker 6 (02:33:18):
All right, strike one, But I scooped my chair back
at the same time. Somehow her back claw went through
my pants and into the tip of my penis. Oh
my god, again reason number four and seventy two that

(02:33:41):
cats don't belong cohabiting with humans. My dog has never
jumped up on my lap and accidentally lacerated my urethra.

Speaker 1 (02:33:55):
Not yet. No, the worst you're gonna get with the
dogs that just get hitting the nuts happens all the time, right.

Speaker 6 (02:34:01):
Or she tries to lick me when I got out
of the shower, yep, and after five minutes I go
stop at well, that is a.

Speaker 1 (02:34:07):
One million shot.

Speaker 3 (02:34:11):
The nail.

Speaker 5 (02:34:12):
Oh the Allen Cox on one point seven dommas.

Speaker 1 (02:34:20):
Cooky, how are you feeling you?

Speaker 3 (02:34:25):
Okayumma radio, and your name.

Speaker 1 (02:34:35):
Is You're wanting, and you can't play in the man's games.
You can't close them and go home and tell you
white your troubles.

Speaker 9 (02:34:44):
Because only one thing counts in this slide. Get them
to sign on the line, which is dotting A b
C A always BBC, closing, always be closing, always be closing.
Aida Attention interest, decision, action attention?

Speaker 1 (02:35:09):
Do I have your attention? Interest?

Speaker 9 (02:35:11):
Are you interested? You close or you hit the bricks? Decision?
Have you made your decision? For christ and action? Ai
da get out there? You got the prospects coming in.

Speaker 1 (02:35:26):
You think they came in to get out of the rain.

Speaker 9 (02:35:28):
A guy don't walk them a lot lest he wants
to buy.

Speaker 1 (02:35:31):
Sitting out there waiting to give you their money.

Speaker 3 (02:35:34):
Are you with a ticket? Are you mad enough to
take it?

Speaker 6 (02:35:39):
There's Alec Baldwin getting in Jack Lemon's face.

Speaker 1 (02:35:44):
He's getting in everybody's face.

Speaker 6 (02:35:46):
He's getting in Jack Lemon's face, the late great Jack Lemon.
He's getting in Alan Arkin's face, the late great Alan Arkin.

Speaker 1 (02:35:54):
He's getting in Ed Harris's face.

Speaker 6 (02:35:59):
Al Patino's outside Glen Garry, Glenn Ross one of my
favorite films of all time. It was a David Mammott
play that they made into a film, and they're making
it a play again. Did you see the announcement about that. No,
do you remember Glen Gary Glenn Ros It's going back
on Broadway next spring.

Speaker 17 (02:36:18):
I guess it would have been like the message of
the film had been that the true lead it was
the friend you had along the way all of these
like curse explatives, and that the real friendship friendship was
more valuable than an anything they could have sold.

Speaker 12 (02:36:35):
Yeah, there were a couple of movies in the early nineties,
Lady of these early nineties when Alec Baldwin was like
full on Megawatt Alec Baldwin, where they would just bring
him in to do an amazing monologue and then he'd
be out.

Speaker 1 (02:36:47):
He did it in Glengary Glenn Ross.

Speaker 6 (02:36:49):
He played kind of a tertiary character movie called Talk Radio.
He was the program director in the film version of
Eric Bagosian's play. But there they're putting Glenngarry Glenn Ross
back on Broadway in the spring.

Speaker 1 (02:37:06):
Kieran Culkin, you know who Kieren Culkin is. Yeah, he's
in uh Succession. He's Ricky Roma.

Speaker 6 (02:37:14):
He's gonna play the al Pacino part Bob Odenkirk is
playing Shelley Levine. That was the Jack Lemon Bearer. That
is great cast. Bill Burr is Dave Moss, that's fun.
That was the Ed Harris role. Yeah, all of it
different for Bill Bird too. Yes, he's I mean he's
been in movies. He directed a movie all the stand

(02:37:36):
up of course, but a live play. I don't think
he's ever done. That's fun. Kieran Culkin and Bob Odenkirk
have won Emmy Awards. Bill Burr has been nominated for
Emmys and Grammys for his comedy albums. Obviously, Bill Bird
to me kind of represents the tale of the comet

(02:37:57):
of the last pure stand ups because the guy, I know,
he's done like a lot of other things for a
long time, but he has proven himself to be a
lot more versatile, I think than people give him credit for.

Speaker 1 (02:38:11):
So I would love to see this.

Speaker 17 (02:38:14):
He's also willing to step out of his comfort zone.
He's also put the work in to become a better
actor and learn that stuff. It's not like he's walking
in off the street going oh yeah I could do that.

Speaker 1 (02:38:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 17 (02:38:27):
It does a lot of acting classes and he's you know,
he puts himself through the ringer to make sure that
he's going to be good in this situation, because when
he's in dramatic roles, he's very good at them. I
feel like in movies and TVs, when he's doing dramatic stuff,
it hits harder than he's doing comedic stuff.

Speaker 6 (02:38:45):
I think that's true of anybody doing I think any
funny actors who do drama, if they're good at it,
comedy's harder to do. Yeah, but yeah, he's real good.
He did Breaking Bad and he would show up in
The Mandalorian. There wasn't a whole lot for him to
do in The Mandalorian, but he.

Speaker 1 (02:39:00):
Was good at it. He was good at it.

Speaker 17 (02:39:01):
But and then he was the best part of that
Pete Kingston Island movie. Oh Pete Davidson thing. Yeah, Pete Davidson.
He did old Dads and you know, but he was
he was.

Speaker 1 (02:39:15):
Great in the king of Ston Island.

Speaker 17 (02:39:17):
That was like a little bit more comedic than dramatic,
but it still was like he played it very straight.

Speaker 1 (02:39:22):
I never got around to see in it. It's word
watching just for Bill Burr.

Speaker 6 (02:39:26):
Yeah, but uh so they're gonna they're going to restage
Glengarry Glen Ross in the spring with those guys, and
I'm I'm a huge David Mammot fan as far as
plays go, as far as writing goes.

Speaker 1 (02:39:43):
He's a good Chicago boy.

Speaker 6 (02:39:44):
But it's like when I was in high school in college,
there was always some David Mammott play being staged somewhere
and they were just the way he writes and his
facility with the language is just awesome.

Speaker 17 (02:39:56):
Love Glengarry Glenn Ross. Seeing that they were going to
do this, you a local production, Glengary Glenn Ross. Yeah,
and I said, nice Mammut, Yeah, I think the tubs
to do.

Speaker 1 (02:40:12):
Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 6 (02:40:14):
So yeah, those are the three actors they've announced in
the casting. I guess Odin Kirk and Bill Burr. I
don't know if had any scenes together, but they were
both breaking bad.

Speaker 7 (02:40:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:40:26):
And did Bill Burr make any appearances in Better Call Saul?

Speaker 17 (02:40:30):
I feel like he did, but I don't remember this.
I got three seasons in and never went back to it.
But I need to finish it because I heard it's
all right.

Speaker 6 (02:40:39):
Yeah, this will be Bob Odenkirk and Bill Burr's Broadway debuts.
So uh yeah, that's very exciting. I would like to
go see that, but it's been done a lot of times,
you know. I mean like they did Glengarry Glenn Ross
probably twenty years ago on stage and it was Alan

(02:40:59):
Olda and and Leev Schreiber, and they did it with
Paccino again and Bobby Cannabali and all these people who've
been in and out of that play and that film.

Speaker 1 (02:41:09):
But Jack Lemon's gone, Alan Arkins dead. Who else was
in that movie? It was Paccino, Kevin Spacey of course,
he was the office manager in that and great in it.

Speaker 6 (02:41:22):
Jonathan Price, that actor is still alive, and al Pacino,
despite what he looks like, is still alive to the
best of my knowledge. So that might be worth figuring
out how you can get tickets if you're a fan
of that film or that play. All those are going
to be pricey, yeah, of course. But we haven't seen

(02:41:43):
anything on Broadway. And again, I'm not a huge live
theater guy. I'm not because most of them are musicals
and I simply cannot abide those. I like Book A Mormon.
I saw Wicked one hundred years ago. I've seen Phantom
just like everybody else. Le Miz, But those are the
ones that, like you kind of have to go see
I guess, or a girlfriend takes you or something like that.

(02:42:05):
But as far as live theater goes, it's not a
huge it's not a huge priority for me.

Speaker 1 (02:42:10):
We went to go see Wish I could go more.
I love it. Yeah.

Speaker 17 (02:42:14):
I saw Joseph in the amazing technically dreamcat cast Dreamcast
playing video games all dream Coat last year. I thought
that was really good. I saw the Pretty Woman is
Playhouse where you saw that one was at the Beck Center.

Speaker 1 (02:42:31):
Oh yeah, my buddy was in the cast. But he's
also done some of the stuff that has been at
Playhouse Square too. He's he's a local actor and performer.

Speaker 6 (02:42:41):
I literally don't think i've seen a live production since well,
we saw American Utopia on Broadway a year and a
half ago, but before I've never been to Broadway.

Speaker 1 (02:42:52):
Yeah, see one before that. I don't think i'd seen
anything since Book of Mormon, and that was probably ten
years ago. But I'd love to go see good It
was great, it was awesome. There's an old lady sitting
in front of me that was losing her mind in
a good way or a bad, great way. She was
just laughing so hard when they do the Sea Word song.
She was just she could not stop. Like her laughter

(02:43:13):
was the perfect kind that was infectious and just making
me and my girlfriend at the time laugh even harder.
It was a great night. I saw Wicked. Wicked was fun,
It was fine.

Speaker 9 (02:43:23):
I liked it.

Speaker 1 (02:43:24):
I saw Phantom twice. First time I had to go
see it twice because the first time I fell asleep.
I fell asleep the first time. My girlfriend was very upset. Well,
I saw it when I was a kid. We went
and saw it in Toronto when I was a kid,
and I fell because I was a kid. And was
that with a Paul Stanley production. I don't even know.
I just know that it might have been. It was
probably like mid nineties. Yeah, he played the Phantom for

(02:43:45):
the Toronto run. I think. Oh no.

Speaker 6 (02:43:48):
I saw it in college with my girlfriend and then
a couple of years later I went with some other
friends and managed to stay awake. But I was like,
there were her parents, and I think her dad and
I were both sleeping, so I felt I didn't feel
great about that.

Speaker 1 (02:43:59):
But Christine, do you like masks and deformities?

Speaker 13 (02:44:06):
No?

Speaker 1 (02:44:06):
I think that he uh, I think he did yeah,
he did.

Speaker 6 (02:44:12):
Yep, because he's a good singer and so they I mean,
clearly he had to do something to get the roll here.

Speaker 3 (02:44:20):
Paul Stanley as an applebater.

Speaker 1 (02:44:23):
Hello, my name is Paul Stanley. I'll be taking care
of y'all tonight, ceting the birthday. No, how are you
all feeling final? I guess Oh, I'm sorry?

Speaker 3 (02:44:34):
What I kid?

Speaker 1 (02:44:37):
We're doing quite well? Thank you.

Speaker 29 (02:44:39):
Would any of y'all like to start with an appetizer
such as grilled chicken?

Speaker 3 (02:44:45):
What time?

Speaker 1 (02:44:46):
Tackle? Honey? Appetizing? No, I think we're good. Oh maybe
you just I could get started with some.

Speaker 11 (02:44:54):
You know what.

Speaker 1 (02:44:54):
I think We'll just order our entrees now. I'll have
the Bourbon Street steak and my white Pool have been
I'm kicking Caesar salad. Okay, that sounds nice. Oh I'm
gonna be brought that with the boodles. That would be great.
I think you'd be great at that job.

Speaker 16 (02:45:12):
Now.

Speaker 6 (02:45:12):
He's a very versatile performer, whether he's taking your order
or telling you what the weather is going to be
from the.

Speaker 1 (02:45:19):
Weather Center meteorologists.

Speaker 9 (02:45:20):
Paul Stanley, who's to feel out there?

Speaker 3 (02:45:24):
Paul?

Speaker 1 (02:45:25):
Can you be more specific?

Speaker 3 (02:45:28):
A little chill?

Speaker 1 (02:45:30):
How about the humidity.

Speaker 9 (02:45:34):
Paul Stanley, Paul will check in with you again next hour.

Speaker 6 (02:45:38):
Can you could use him when him tornadoes are ripping
through my neighborhood?

Speaker 1 (02:45:41):
All right, siren?

Speaker 17 (02:45:44):
Can you play the original stage banter compilation that that's
all based on, because I'm sure there's customers listening right
now that are so lost because they've never Here's.

Speaker 6 (02:45:54):
A video on YouTube called forty five minutes of Paul
Stanley's stage banter.

Speaker 1 (02:45:58):
That's you feel good?

Speaker 3 (02:46:04):
All right?

Speaker 1 (02:46:05):
Listen, No, we may be on the.

Speaker 4 (02:46:07):
Three abse guys, let's not get a little tune up tonight.

Speaker 1 (02:46:11):
But I ain't gonna stop us because if we talk,
I love, We're gonna get this place hotter than hell,
of course, leading right into the and I can uh,
I can uh dig in at any point in this
forty five minutes and it's gonna be gold.

Speaker 6 (02:46:26):
Oh yeah, and because of it, because Paul Stanley, in
his on stage banter not prone to explotives.

Speaker 1 (02:46:34):
You know, they're not sorry about it. I don't worry
about it. Then we're gonna get this play. Yeah, some
plea we haven't planned.

Speaker 3 (02:46:48):
He's a liver rocket.

Speaker 1 (02:46:54):
O the old one.

Speaker 4 (02:46:57):
Oh if we kept this pig to the honey, we
don't have to come, we don't.

Speaker 11 (02:47:15):
Have to go.

Speaker 13 (02:47:17):
No.

Speaker 6 (02:47:18):
Yeah, you get the idea, the idea that yeah, he's
and then he likes to talk in between. I mean,
we saw my son and I went to the Kiss
farewell show here in Cleveland, and there was some of that.

Speaker 1 (02:47:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:47:29):
But again, those guys are much older, so I think
he was saving his voice for the singing, which I
would fully expect the guy to do, right, They really
pushed it to the limit. There's also a great video
on YouTube Paul cringes at Ace Frehley's jokes for two
minutes and seven seconds straight. Ace Frehley, of course the

(02:47:53):
guy with the most problems in the original iteration of Kiss.
Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons always prided themselves on kind
of be in the og straight edge guys in rock
and roll. Now they would bang anything that moved, so
this whole like you know, Gene Simmons, and they've both
been on this show many times over the years, and
I love them both. The Gene Simmons always kind of

(02:48:14):
looked down on the people who were engaging like illicit
drug use, but I was like, all right, but Sex
is a drug too, you know, in a hormonal and
chemical way, and.

Speaker 1 (02:48:24):
That sounds like a good kiss song.

Speaker 14 (02:48:26):
Sex is a drug.

Speaker 1 (02:48:32):
That's together perfect.

Speaker 3 (02:48:36):
Sex is a.

Speaker 1 (02:48:50):
Drug that's good.

Speaker 29 (02:48:59):
They hear cocaine, they know, but they would do if
sex was a drug was a song? Oh yeah, is
that why I don't indulge in those, But for me,
sex is yeah, all right.

Speaker 1 (02:49:25):
I called it my love gun.

Speaker 11 (02:49:31):
Right.

Speaker 1 (02:49:35):
Well, he loved Toronto. I mean I do too.

Speaker 5 (02:49:38):
Toronto is one of my favorite cities in the world.
But he really loved Toronto. That's why I thought it
was so strange that one of their first big hits
was a song called cold Gin because those guys didn't drink.

Speaker 1 (02:49:51):
It's a great song, It's cold Gin time again.

Speaker 6 (02:49:56):
But yeah, they were famously not into They saw drugs
and and alcohol largely is the downfall of every one
of their contemporaries. And Ace Freeley had big problems and
so he was the first one out, and the other
guys were like, hey, you know what, you can go
do your own thing. This is the Paul Stanley and

(02:50:17):
Jean Simmons show. And if you want to be around
just the guys that, Yeah, the guy's further down the
line when Kiss really you know, Bruce Kolk and Eric Singer,
those guys knew what was up. Those guys were like,
we're just happy to be here. We got nice, big houses,
We're in good shape. Hey, Woody, I knew I was

(02:50:38):
talking about Paul Stanley would throw up the bat signal
for Woody.

Speaker 1 (02:50:46):
A little bit of that, absolutely, brother.

Speaker 28 (02:50:54):
I hope everyone's safe after that giant storm.

Speaker 1 (02:50:58):
It was I've got piss out here on the lake.

Speaker 21 (02:51:03):
But yeah, talking about Kiss, you know, out there on
the lake. But but yeah, yeah, there's a band Kiss,
always been in a huge sand and I've but I've

(02:51:24):
never bought an album from them, but I've seen them
five times.

Speaker 28 (02:51:28):
I was just in the right place at the right.

Speaker 25 (02:51:30):
Time, and I think we talked about that.

Speaker 18 (02:51:32):
Good for you.

Speaker 1 (02:51:35):
But do you remember when I first.

Speaker 10 (02:51:37):
Started calling into your show.

Speaker 28 (02:51:39):
I don't know how many years it was to go
but trying to win Cleveland Cavaliers tickets, and I I
did a I did a parody of a Kiss song
to win Calfis when I started.

Speaker 6 (02:51:50):
God, yeah, he did a little Heavens on Fire to
try to impress everyone, and I.

Speaker 1 (02:51:57):
Don't know that it did. Yeah, I think it was
a turd, but it was. But that was a long
time ago.

Speaker 8 (02:52:03):
Man.

Speaker 1 (02:52:04):
Well everybody got beat by Kayley and whatever it takes, right,
she was the one years ago.

Speaker 10 (02:52:10):
Whatever it takes, whatever it takes, cads are going.

Speaker 1 (02:52:14):
I do afair, Cleveland's gone.

Speaker 25 (02:52:16):
I do say, we all got to do, say whatever
it takes.

Speaker 10 (02:52:21):
And now I must leave you as the Brady bunch
of huns. And I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 3 (02:52:28):
Get out of it.

Speaker 7 (02:52:30):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big Brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

(02:52:50):
One slip and you know who you're through. Big Brother
is watching you, and will all remember obedience paid.

Speaker 3 (02:53:03):
And when you watch that.

Speaker 7 (02:53:05):
Davy screen, remember it works both ways. You'll disappear in
a wink. Unless you can double think, you'll vanish into
the blue. Big Brother is watching you.