SOME OF THE ALAN COX SHOW 12/23

The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Federal Communications Commission just determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful. Funny things that you thinks funny aren't funny.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Jar me Cox, solid to me Coxshow kicksh.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Man, welcome me?

Speaker 4 (00:17):
What you yeah?

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I canna see a lot of cocks on TV.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Allen Cox from the Ali Coxso.

Speaker 5 (00:22):
I don't know what's about you?

Speaker 6 (00:23):
By can thank you? Cool on?

Speaker 7 (00:27):
This will be a great So let's kick it coffee
kick and you'll just take it with a nasty groove.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Okay, what do three kicks? Kick it to put you
one time ticket?

Speaker 8 (00:40):
What Allen Cox?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Here we go, He'll add, he'll be trying.

Speaker 9 (00:44):
It's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
double U M M as.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
I know it'll carry up though. There's an advertisement. You
know when we talk about plane crashes around here, and uh,
I'm always fascinated by the data that they get from
the data recorder. Right Well, they'll pull out the black
box from that. When they pull out the black box
from from airline crashes. There was that Indian flight that

(01:20):
crash not long ago. They almost had another one. This
B fifty two had to really there's a big two
parts of an air show, but a Delta Airlines jet
had to make a hard turn, almost a collision.

Speaker 10 (01:35):
Yeah, an evasive maneuver.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Invasive maneuvers.

Speaker 11 (01:40):
There's no radar here, so there the tower realized that
the pacing wasn't.

Speaker 12 (01:44):
Going to work and said turn right.

Speaker 11 (01:46):
And they looked over and there the airplane with supposed
of the on the right hand side, and I thought
it was a small airplane.

Speaker 12 (01:51):
He said turn riot.

Speaker 11 (01:52):
I said, there's an airplane over there, and he says
turn lamp and then overs.

Speaker 8 (01:55):
On the airplane that was coming on their version with us
about desive newer coffee visor pride is not normal at all.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
I knew that's the guy apologizing to the passengers. I
hope he did that when they were on the ground.
He probably did it while they were still in the air,
I hope not. We just almost all died. It was
a sea of the United States military. We just almost
all died.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Air Force confirmed that.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
The bomber was assigned to conduct a fly over the
North Dakota State Fair. This is why we need to
stop with the frigging military aircraft at state fairs and stuff.
We get it, make these things static displays.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Here comes a plane. Cool? What am I five?

Speaker 1 (02:41):
I was gonna talk about the Jimmy Buffett lawsuit, but
I don't know if I want to go in that direction. Round, Okay,
go ahead, Well today's I only mentioned it because today
is National hammock Day.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Oh god, National Terrible Song Day.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Well I misread it, though, and I thought that it
was National hamhock Day. And I was really excited about
that because, you know, as a kid, I ended up
consuming a lot of hamhocks my dad. Being from the
Deep South, I ended up having to consume more than
my tiny white boy's share of soul food. But I

(03:16):
do love me a good hamhock, and so I thought
that that's what it was. But that is not I
don't even know if there's a National hamhock Day.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
Well there should be.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
I guess there should, and maybe I will take it
upon myself to get that going. I'd rather call it
National pork knuckle Day. Oh but that sounds too sexy.
Moose knuckle heyby, show me that pork knuckle, right, Yeah,
you do have to, you know, if you really want
to make something appetizing to people, you do have to

(03:45):
kind of pair it down to its simplest form. You can't.
You know, Oh, what's a hamhock. It's a meta tarsal joint.
No one would eat that now, like a spike lee joint,
a meta tarsal joint. But if you call it a
pork knuckle, then your ears might perk up, might go
tell me more, I like this, Go on, yes, how

(04:07):
about a ham hawk?

Speaker 2 (04:09):
I'm in I'm still there.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
You know, because there are so few opportunities to consume hawk.
You know, what are.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
Rob listening?

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Like I said, My dad born in Tupelo, Mississippi, grew
up in Mobile, Alabama. So my dad was always cooking
this kind of stuff. And so as a young kid,
you know, on so many occasions, I would have a
huge hawk in my mouth and I didn't know. I
just knew that it was good, right, it was salty,
and it was flavorful, and it would it took a lot, right,

(04:50):
I would. I would have to when I was real little,
because I think the sooner that you expose your kids
to maybe some stranger foods, you know, it kind of
broadens their palate. And so, you know, my mom would
always be like, who's ready for this big hawk? And
I would say, oh, I am, and I would Oh,
I would get a mouthful of.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Why did you overcook it?

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Again? Because it looks black. It looks like a black hawk.

Speaker 10 (05:13):
Mom, it's a huge black hawk, and I don't want
it that way.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
There there was a time that my dad did overcook it,
of course, but he knew what he was doing, right,
and we would have mustard greens with it, and we
would have unfortunately I don't care for navy beans, but
navy beans are part of it. And you know, when

(05:39):
my mom loved to tell the story about how when
she was pregnant with me nineteen seventy, she's pregnant with me,
and you know, women have cravings and a lot of
we are like I just had such ice cream. Because
my parents are still living in the South. My mom
her craving when she's pregnant with me was pickled pigs feet.
Really yeah wow, So she'd buy jars of them and

(06:02):
just eat them out the jar. But as a kid,
and even when I got a little bit older, you know,
I would occasionally go into a restaurant that served that
kind of stuff and I go, I grew up eating
huge hawk.

Speaker 10 (06:13):
I think you're making a mistake saying all this stuff
because I have a feeling future black stepdads just taking
notes left and right about the things that he eats.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Is it true that your son was eating giant hawk?
Can you cook it until it's tender or do you
leave it soft? You don't throw my childhood cuisine. You
don't throw my familial nostalgia in my face. If I
took a giant hawk to the face. Rob is a kid,

(06:45):
that's no one's business. I'm trying to be candid here.
Do they get hard when they're overcooked? Yes? Yeah, well
you want them tender. If I was a kid, I'm
not going to eat a giant hard hawk.

Speaker 10 (06:59):
Yeah, especially like I said, when they were overcooked and
they burn him on a grill.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yes, a hard black hawk.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Rob is difficult to consume, right, And a lot of
times you find yourself with a cookout and all you
have at your disposal are the plastic utensils. Yeah, those
are not good. No, you have hard time getting through it. Yes,
you've got to prepare your hawk properly. I don't know
what did you put mayonnaise on yours?

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Or was it?

Speaker 1 (07:27):
I don't like mayonnaise, barbecue sauce. It was a white
barbecue sauce, so it was it didn't have all that
caramel coloring and flavoring.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
It was a BBQ bb H.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
It was a big black hawk, so we had there
at the cookout. Yes, and it was juicy, right. My
dad knew what he was doing. There's there's shades of difference.
You know.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
It's so.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
It's such a temperamental meat, and so isn't it Well
I don't know about that, no, because he knew what
he was doing. Okay, But when I had a big,
juicy black Hawk, I mean on a on a bun rob,
I mean you could.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
It was so versatile.

Speaker 10 (08:15):
That's what I like when you prepare it, don't you
have to remove the big vein in the middle.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
I don't know what you're talking about. And there's no vein. No,
I think there is a hawk. I think there is.
I think there's a big there's a main vein. I
believe there's no.

Speaker 11 (08:28):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
I always thought there was.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
There's no vein in a hard hawk. Okay, No, And
now I miss my dad in his cooking. And I'm
going to text my mom tonight and see how she's doing.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Try to get that recipe.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
Is your further speaking from New lecture cock Show on.
Let's not pretend any of this makes sick.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
I don't understand any of this.

Speaker 13 (09:03):
They jock show, Chris out in Warren, Hey, how's it going, Alan?

Speaker 2 (09:10):
What's up man, Joe? Thank you, sir?

Speaker 14 (09:12):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (09:12):
Breaking news?

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Oh oh I love breaking news.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (09:22):
So on Saturday, Grandma went to join Grandpa from Grandpa's Cheesebarn.
They died within days and they really.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Oh my goodness, we mentioned yeah that Grandpa from Grandpa
the namesake of Grandpa's cheese Barn.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
He was ninety three.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
I assumed that he probably didn't have much to do
with the day to day operations anymore. But how do
you how do you know this? Do you know the
family or did you read it or what? No?

Speaker 15 (09:47):
I well read it.

Speaker 6 (09:50):
Oh, they had released it on Saturday morning. My wife
started going, oh, these people died, you know, within days
of each other, seventy three years the marriage or whatever.
And I'm like, I'm like, oh, yeah, just so you
know Grandpa died and she's like, yeah, this is who
it is. I'm like, oh, okay, so wow.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Well, and you know what, though, people love people love
these kinds of stories in a not morbid way because
they always go. They just couldn't stand and not be
with each other. And they couldn't you know. I mean
they're in their nineties. I mean something's gonna happen. Yeah,
all right, thank you, Chris, Thank you, Pal. I appreciate it.

Speaker 5 (10:33):
Drove past Grandpa's Cheese Barn on Saturday or Friday because
I was doing a show of Columbus and it was
closed by the time I got there.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
But we poured out some cheesekirts for him.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Some melted nacho cheese for Grandpa, and Vera Balm, the
grandma to Grandpa's Cheese Barn died on Saturday, just two
days after her husband, So breaking news on this show.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
But I apparently the people they.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Had just celebrate it did seventy three years of marriage
on December the fourth. Seventy three years of marriage. That's
wild mawedge, Oh my god. I mean yeah, I guess.
I mean it's uh had long lives.

Speaker 5 (11:14):
It sounds like they, you know, they had a pretty
successful business, right They're beloved like well.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
They were in their nineties, so late teens. There is
no way to know. I mean, you got people in
their nineties, you know, who've been married for eighty years
and you're like, eh, they got married. Really, I guess
I never thought. Yeah, it was a very different time.

(11:40):
You know, if you were fifteen and then the three kids,
you were an old maid. Back the way, there wasn't
even a thing parental rights. Honey, we need a new
goat for the farm. You're marrying this kid. My parents
just hit forty six years married.

Speaker 5 (11:54):
Graduate ladies, my parents had considering how hard both of
them are to be.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
But they hit each other like, yeah, my parents hit fifty.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
In U they would have had there.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
This past August would have been their fifty second, fifty
third wedding anniversary, I think. But yeah, pretty wild, wild
to be married that long to anyone. So anyway, Grandma
and Grandpa from Grandpa's Cheesebarn both died within a couple

(12:30):
days of each other. They met in nineteen forty nine
when he was a meat cutter in the back of
a grocery store and he noticed the charming checkout girl
out front.

Speaker 5 (12:42):
I wonder if it's one of those things where he's like,
and I just didn't leave her alone.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
So she decided to marry me.

Speaker 5 (12:49):
You know those old problematic romance is that like it
sounds cute for back in the day, but he go, huh,
she just sounds like that was harassment. Well, they might
sound weird in modern terms, you know, but you have
to take everything in the time in which it happened.
In nineteen forty nine, it was perfectly normal for a
guy to harass a woman into marriage.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
If that I'm not saying that's what happened here.

Speaker 5 (13:14):
I want to say, harassment to marriage. Wait for her
to settle. There you go.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
I looked around, and I mean, he was a good
cut the hole grow Old County. People used to come
far and whye to watch him cut meat.

Speaker 5 (13:29):
And he told me about his big cheese dreams, own
a barn full of cheese.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
And I thought, I'll hitch my wagon to his star.
And when the cheese dreams come true, I've got gummy
there dreams of my own, and maybe we can expand
the barnes.

Speaker 5 (13:46):
Luckily we lived such a life that he became a
grandpa at thirty two years old, so he could open
Grandpa's cheesebarn.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Because Dad's cheesebarn.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Just doesn't have the same does not have the same
ring to it Papa's cheesebarn. It's Okay. I was talking
about people becoming young grandparents over the weekend as somebody
and I mentioned that my brother, my youngest brother, became
a grandfather at thirty nine. And you know, I wonder
I tell my older kids. I don't want to be

(14:15):
a grandfather anytime soon.

Speaker 16 (14:18):
Right.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
My daughter's a freshman in college, my son is just
turned twenty two a few days ago. Like, there's no
rush to make me a grandfather. Just keep that in mind,
No rush at all. Oh, she loves it. I while
we're on the subject, and I hesitate to bring this up,

(14:39):
but I will bring it up because I'm very candid
with this audience. And I'll tell you about this, even
though it's deeply embarrassing and I'm starting to think that
maybe I'm not a great dad. You know, I've always
prided myself there are many things I'm not good at
right now that I wasn't taught empathy as a child
growing up, so I'm not very good at that.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
I think I'm a I think I'm.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
An okay, husband, took me a long time to figure
that out, but I think I'm I'm there. But I've
always prided myself on being a pretty good dad. Right,
I'm kind of fifty percent of garbage person in general,
but I think i'm a pretty good dad. So my
older daughter, who was at the College of Music at
Michigan State University, she has her big holiday performance on

(15:24):
Saturday night, and so Gwen and Nora and I are
going to go, and we're going to go a little
bit early so that we can have lunch with my
daughter and my son since they both go to school there.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
I said, hey, this is last Saturday.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
This is this Saturday, yep, a day before yesterday, said hey,
let's meet for lunch a little bit beforehand.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
So we leave here on nine in the morning, and
even though we're going to be overnight, we're going to
stay at my in laws about forty five minutes away
from campus so that the little one can see the grandparents.
And so, you know, we're packing things and throw that,
and I guess in the midas I neglected. I'm trying
to be a helpful guy, and so I say to Gwen, well,

(16:04):
I'll pack Nora. Normally she would do that because she
knows way better than I what needs to be done.
But I go, oh, I'll do it. I know what
needs to be done, and I did. Okay, So we
get all the way to the place we're going to
have lunch in East Lansing and we're getting out of
the car and Gwen goes, where's her coat, Let's put
her coat on.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
It's very cold. No, I forgot my daughter's coat.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
So now, mind you if you've heard the story from
years ago when she was a mere toddler, when it
was just Nora and I going to see my family
in Chicago, and out of the blue, she says, I
have to pee, and I have to pee right now.
I had to put there. We were nowhere near rest up.
We pulled over to the side of the turnpike and
she squatted on the side of the road. So everybody's

(16:52):
having fun with that story because, you know whatever, Semi's
racing by, honk, I forgot her coat. You're just dyslexic
with the seasons, so you thought she didn't need it
in a parking garage and I go, how did I go?
It's not possible that I forgot her coat. How could
I have forgotten her coat? Or maybe I thought Gwen
grabbed it. I don't know what, because have a task garage.

(17:13):
I imagine, uh, at our house. Yes, and that's where
your cars parked. So I can see how her running
out and getting in the car you could miss something
like that. Well, but it's also like I would have
put it on her before she well, the car was,
the car was warmed up. So her getting in with
no coat not that big of a deal. And that's why,

(17:35):
and that's why it wasn't that big of a deal.
And that's why you didn't even.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Think of it.

Speaker 1 (17:38):
Yeah, I do. I normally I kind of think of
something to make you know, there's nothing, there's nothing.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Your kid to freeze.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Yeah, So we get there, get sick. We said that
whole thing, right, No, she's just coming off something, so
I don't think she's gonna run back anyway. But and
so we're in this parking garage that is right downtown.
He's lancing, so you can actually get into Target from
this parking garage, and Gwen goes, you guys go get
a table.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
I'll go find her a coat. Target.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Okay, so my older daughter and I go get a table.
My son's gonna meet us. Gwynan Ore show about twenty
five minutes later. It's a college town target. So there's
not even a child's department. What what, Like, no concer
was about to have kids. It's not at Michigan State University,
and they say University of Tennessee JUCO. I mean, so

(18:33):
it's right there on the main drag and he's lancing
and it's like one of those small targets that they
squeeze in just so kids can like shop there. It's
like the size of a seven to eleven. So they
I'm sure kid's clothing is not the only you know
the dyeah. Yeah, well anyway, it's probably probably a pretty
sparse clothing section for everyone. I've gone there, gone shopping

(18:57):
when we move my older daughter in to just get
some odds and ends, and it's literally like things college
kids will need, right, So they don't even have a
kid's department.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
So Nora shows up. They got her like.

Speaker 1 (19:07):
An adult woman's ex extra small, like hot pink sweat
organs walking around in this and she didn't care. She's
like it is great, like, oh god, but it was
a bright neon reminder of how I failed again as

(19:28):
a parental figure. And it's a small detail, I guess,
but not real small detail, because you know, it's a
thirty two degree Michigan winter. So I just forgot.

Speaker 5 (19:41):
Where my messiness would have come in handy because even
if we forgot a coat or a jacket. When my
kids were little, there was always another one in the
back of the car or the trunk. Oh yeah, they
just always leave him in there and I want to
come get them out. So there is chances that it
would just be like, oh, okay, we got this one

(20:02):
from a year ago. It might be a little small,
but hey it's in there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Well, the only solace I took this time is that
at least it wasn't by the side of the row.
This wasn't a road side situation. It was you know,
we got there, but I certainly felt like I had
egg on my face.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
How was your daughter's musical? It was great.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
It was just it was all in German, Yeah, all
in German, all in Germany. It was it was bach
oratorios is what they were doing, and so they performed.
There were four different choral groups. Hers was one. They
had another one that was made of alumni. So there
are a lot of like old guys and older women
that were singing. My daughter's a soprano, so she's on

(20:39):
the high end there it was a full orchestra.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, it was great.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
I mean, you know, those kinds of Christmas programs are great.
When she was in high school and singing, it was
all Christmas music, right, But this kind of stuff it's okay.
But I mean this was like, you know, it was
all in German, and so it's not like you was, well,
it just rolls off the time. But I mean when
you're singing Bach on the oratorios, that's what it is.

(21:05):
But so it's not like I understand what they're singing,
but it sounded fantastic.

Speaker 17 (21:09):
So as your son and daughter like going to the
same college, are they not even like a non factory
with each other, Like they barely run into each other
a big school, making conscious effort to like hang out
every so often or no, I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
I mean, they got their own things going. I think
they I think they give each other some space. I mean,
my daughter will be home for break. My son has
an apartment so he'll stay in Lancing. But no, I
mean I think they see each other occasionally. I remember
when I was in college and my roommates I roomed.

(21:44):
I was suite mates with a twin, and I was like, oh,
why ain't you room with your twin? He's like, because
we lived together our whole lives. I'm over now.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
He was like he was one floor up.

Speaker 17 (21:54):
And it was essentially like they were rooming without rooming
with each other because they were down there all the time.
It took me and they now look at I can't
believe that I confuse them because they're identical twins, but
they don't look like they have like distinct features, right
how you can tell my part.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
But for whatever reason, the first I.

Speaker 17 (22:10):
Want to say, like four or five months of school,
I could not tell them apart. And now I'm like, oh,
I know exactly who's who and what you mean. I'm
just saying I know who's who now.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
But for whatever.

Speaker 17 (22:25):
Reason, like twins when they go to the same school,
I'm like, you, guys might as well just room together
and save some money, like, because I would rather room
with one I know I can live with than.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
Someone I might not like.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, but that's a decision.

Speaker 5 (22:37):
You make when you are new to school and you're
you're thinking, I want some distance from this person, and
then you realize, oh, wait, my roommate could be pound cake.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
I was a roommate.

Speaker 17 (22:49):
I was a great roommate in what sense, I mind
my business. I'm I clean up after myself, like I
whatever dishes I made, I may not do the dishes,
but I do my dishes. I clean up after MySpace.
If I made the mess, I will clean that up.
I'm not going to clean up after everyone else. And
I again, I'm on my business. Whenever you need me,

(23:10):
someone after me. That's what makes a good roommate for me.
If you need to vent, if you need to vent,
you could talk to me non judgment because I think
people look at me like he's done some things. Nothing
I say is going to shock him. So people are
comfortable with talking to me. And I always have condoms,
which is great.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Yeah. My freshman year roommate, we were both neat freaks
and he went home every weekend, so it was fantastic
for me. It was awesome.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
My first roommate.

Speaker 17 (23:36):
He was kind of he was a band nerd and
he would have sex with his girlfriend really really loud,
and but other than that he was fine. But we
just we were roommates. We weren't really like friends, but
we we co existed. My second year, I had like apartments,
and I had three other roommates.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
I was cool with one. Actually no, I hated all
of them.

Speaker 17 (23:57):
But I thought I was cool with one, but he
turned out to be a manipulator and they would steal
my food. So then I swapped because after you sign
like a housing agreement, they have to find you somewhere
to live. And I was like, I'm not comfortable with
living with these people, so I moved. And then I
found like the roommate that I would live with after college.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
Well, my daughter moved.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
She's rooming with one of her best friends since kindergarten,
and her friend is leaving school because what she doesn't
know what she wants to be, and I guess she's
pretty disillusioned to the whole situation.

Speaker 2 (24:27):
So my daughter's kind of bummed about that.

Speaker 1 (24:28):
I'm like, well, you know, I'm sure you've made friends
since you got here, so one of them will just
room with you. You know. But that fresh that first semester
freshman year, so a lot of kids are like, Nope,
I'm going to go home to community college and see
if I can figure out what I want to do
with my life. So you're fortunate if you go in
knowing what you want to do, and a lot of
people don't go.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Car show on warm hundred points of it.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
If he sounds super excited to see you, Hey, what's up?

Speaker 3 (24:56):
Remember he is a paid performer.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
As a broadcaster.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Real good Alan.

Speaker 3 (25:01):
Cox on one hundred point seven MMS.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
Three five, one Night and two.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
If you want to send me a text Alancoxshow dot com,
you will watch There got the Instagram hotties up there
for you, as well as the Bill Squire show. We've
Got the Karen's Gone Wild COVID nineteen edition is up there.
I was reading about a guy who got caught on
surveillance Cameron in Las Vegas. He walked in right through

(25:46):
the front door and he stole a three foot dildo
called Moby Dick the Deja Vu Love boutique in Las Vegas.
Broad daylights. See everybody's wearing masks now they are emboldened.
These brazen criminals walked out with a giant three foot

(26:07):
dong over his shoulder.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
I just started watching Sopranos, and are you watching or
just watching?

Speaker 1 (26:13):
I'm just watching. Watched it flo Wow.

Speaker 5 (26:14):
So I'm like eight episodes in and I can't stop
thinking about how much they would love this mask thing
where they're just like, first of all, there's nobody anywhere,
so like it's never been easier to just knock someone off,
and then if you're you're wearing a mask, it's that
much easier.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
Well here's the weird thing though, under this mandate that
means you guys gotta be wearing them.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
On stage, it's gonna suck. How's that gonna work?

Speaker 18 (26:39):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
I don't have any show scheduled, so I have a.

Speaker 18 (26:42):
Show next Thursday and Hilarities mass Mary.

Speaker 4 (26:46):
I guess unless having a drink on stageble exactly from.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
That drinking actively drinking. So can you eat and drink
and still perform at the same time.

Speaker 18 (26:57):
I don't think it's like.

Speaker 4 (26:58):
You have to take a bite, put your mask back
on while you're chewing, take it off.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
You get what I'm saying, But it says actively eating
or drinking.

Speaker 18 (27:05):
Yeah, But what I'm saying is, as long.

Speaker 4 (27:06):
As they're sitting at the table, I feel like they
won't have to wear the mask. So maybe if I
just have a we'll play the fries next to me
that I take a bite of in between jokes I'm
actively eating. It just takes me longer, yeah, can take minutes.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah. I had a show that I was going to
try and do, and even before.

Speaker 19 (27:27):
This mask mandate came out, I canceled it just because
I just don't feel like I've done a few shows.
And I'm not saying it's a bad thing to do
shows or go out and do things, but like personally,
I'm just like I don't want to do it anymore.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, I'm just kind of switching gears.

Speaker 8 (27:40):
Well.

Speaker 4 (27:41):
I the guy I've been going out with, he wants
to keep going out and doing things, and I was like, dude,
I'm not comfortable.

Speaker 18 (27:47):
I don't want to be out doing this kind of stuff.
Like I know it sucks, like we can go to
parks and things like that, but I'm like, I don't
want to be in public going I know it sounds
stupid to say not going on dates, but I'm like
we have to figure something else out because I just
don't want to be around all these people all the time.
Which is i mean fair every now and then in
comedy and you take all the precautions and stuff, but
I feel like doing it all the time is too much.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yeah, because people hit me up and they're like, well,
aren't you worried? Like Mary's banging some new guy and
pound cakes on a date, and I'm like, what do
you want me to do?

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Like I got my paul In mask.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
I saw Billy Eichner is gonna play paul In, so
I'm gonna wear my paul In mask and show.

Speaker 18 (28:25):
And we're also I feel like there's a little there's
an amount of trust that needs to.

Speaker 4 (28:30):
Go into it where it's like I'm not gonna put
my job at Jeopardy or you guys at Jeopardy in Jeopardy.
I'm sorry I put you guys in Jeopardy, be because
I'm horny or something like that. It's someone that I've
known for a while that I know is taking the
same proper precautions. It's not doing things, it's you know,
not out just hooking up. And I went on dates
with four different guys that I didn't even hug.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
So you didn't even get close to them. Yeah, that's
what I'm saying.

Speaker 18 (28:53):
We didn't even hug goodbye on the dates that I
was going on.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
So there you go. There's your answer.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
Alan. My mother in law works at it headshop that
requires masks and the first day, some lady came in
and got mad and took a dump in the middle
of the store.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
How do you leave her enough time to take a dump?

Speaker 5 (29:11):
It probably doesn't. Maybe someone's taking a dump. It's not
like you're gonna go and stop them.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
I will kick them over. Yeah, it's but then that's
assault you.

Speaker 6 (29:22):
Are.

Speaker 1 (29:24):
There's a woman who took a whiz in a Verizon store,
pulled their pants in and I saw that lady citizens arrest.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
We know what citizens arrest is and weren't doing it.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
They're already happening alan maybe well here's a here's a
heck see. Here's what I think about these mask mandates
is I think it may not do what they wanted
to do, but I think these things are also a
way to force people to find another solution that will
get to the same effect, same solution. Right, they go, well,
we're not going to do this, but we got to

(29:53):
do something. We're a beer helmet on stage, so you're
constantly drinking. You can be the the comedian.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
With the beer.

Speaker 9 (30:01):
Help.

Speaker 17 (30:05):
I've seen people that are being just being spiteful and
they're cutting holes in their masks. They're like, well, I
gotta wear one so I mean, I'm wearing a mask
and he just has a hole in it. I'm like, okay, well,
you're not hurting nobody but yourself. No, they are hurting
other people.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
That's the point.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
That's the problem.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
Listen, the great Paul Lynde, who if you were old
enough to remember who he is, he's been dead for
almost forty years, but he's from Mount Vernon, Ohio. I
know he's buried somewhere near there, and he was the
center square in Hollywood Squares, but he was. I saw
that Billy Eichner is going to produce and star in
a movie about Paul Land.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
Does anyone here know who pauland is.

Speaker 5 (30:42):
I know enough about him to like know, like confirmed
bachelor Paul Lynde. I remember, like I've heard jokes about
him and like stories about him.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Very thinly veiled, like he never came out and said
he was gay.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
But everything right.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
The story is going to be called Man in the Box.
And Billy Eichner says, I.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
Get my lawyers on the phone.

Speaker 5 (31:04):
Well, actually it's hbos who owns at break dot com whatever.
I was on a series called Man in the Box.
So we'll see. We'll need a little payout for I'll
see you in court, Billy, get a little money out
of this.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
The Paul Lynde was kind of stigmatized back then from
being gay, but yeah, he had to be a lifelong bachelor.
When I was a kid, I loved Paul Lynde. I
loved Hollywood Squares. I used to read the Hollywood Scores books.
They had these books that my grandmother would have and
they were called like Rippers from the Hollywood Squares, Zingers
from the Hollywood Squares, and it would just be transcripts

(31:41):
of jokes from the show. You're familiar with Hollywood Squares, Yes, yes, well,
for like ten years, Paul Lynde was the center Square. Now,
before that, he had had TV shows. He was Uncle
Arthur un Bewitched. He'd pop up every so long to'd
be like hello, he went to my alma mater and Earth.
I can't wear this as the most important person on
the show. I think you got to take the mask off.

(32:05):
I can't.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
I can't talk with attactively drinking Alan.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
Let's trying to make a point. But anyway, my Paul
lind mask. Well, I'll hang that here because it's very
very important to me. But uh, but he graduated from
my Holma Mater. And when I was a kid, I
loved now. I obviously I didn't know that he was
a gay man. I thought that he was just like,
you know what, he really didn't understand what gay was.
He didn't know what it was, but he was so funny.

Speaker 12 (32:33):
Now.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
Also as a kid, I didn't really realize that the
show had writers. I just thought, man, this guy is
so goddamn quick with a zinger, and he would make
like these.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
The great thing about Paul lind is.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
He would make these jokes on that show that were
kind of like wink wink. Even though he never came
out like he died in his sleep. He was a
mean drunk. There was like a worry about him partying
with another actor friend of his, and the friend like
they were drinking, but his friend like fell out a
window and fell eight stories and died, or your whole thing.

Speaker 18 (33:09):
That's sol party clumsy though.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
But I'll give you a couple of these, right, these
zingers from the Hollywood Squares.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
I love this show with Paul.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
Nd because he was in the They put him in
the center square so that you knew he would always
get picked because somebody would have to be you have
to pick him. You're the world's most popular fruit. What
are you? And Paul nd said humble. They were questions
to tee him up.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
And you know.

Speaker 4 (33:38):
With with Holly, I've never watched it. Are they allowed
to give like a joke answer first and then really
answer it or do they.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
Go for the joke what they did?

Speaker 18 (33:47):
Okay, I didn't know if.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
It was like we want you answer and humble. I
don't really watch the show, but I realized I know
that there is a character on American Dad that I
think pays tribute to Paul Lynde. I think the alien
on that show. Yeah, he talks like that. Yeah, that's
very Paul lind.

Speaker 18 (34:05):
That would be a perfect role for Billy Eichner.

Speaker 2 (34:07):
I think. So I'll finally enjoy something Billy Chenon.

Speaker 18 (34:09):
I like him a lot. So like, the more you're
describing Paul Lynn, the more I'm like, he's gonna nail this.

Speaker 5 (34:14):
And he's got some child when it comes to acting too,
because I don't know, if you watch any of the
American Horror Story seasons that he's on.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
It's pretty good. I saw what I liked him in
was called like awful People or something or terrible. It
was on Hulu. It's one of the first Hulu shows
I remember. It is called Him and a Woman. It
was single and making fun of everyone around him. But anyway,
Paul lind h how many men on a hockey team?
He says, oh, about half? Who's generally better good looking?

(34:46):
A fairy or a pixie? He says, looks aren't everything.
I'll take the fairy. So again, you know, everybody laughing,
ha ha ha, you know. But but he just couldn't
meet the right girl. Oh, it's tough out.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
There in Hollywood.

Speaker 5 (35:04):
Everybody's just so concerned with their careers yep, and climbing
the ladder, and he just wants a nice girl.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
He did like when I was a kid too, And
they would show this every year. I don't know if
they still show it. I don't know if it's you
can stream it. The old Charlotte's Web. He was Templeton,
the rat in Charlotte's Web. Okay, with the old seventies
Charlotte's Web.

Speaker 18 (35:24):
Yeah, you could see like all the pencil lines.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
And he had like the like because he was so
big on Hollywood squares like ABC Game, a variety show
that lasted like four episodes. You know, is it against
the law in Texas to call a marine a sissy?

Speaker 2 (35:42):
Was one of the questions.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
He said, I guess I'll just hae to have to
take the law into my own hands. Impression, I love
poland what on you? Peter Marshall was the classic host
of The Hollywood Squares. Again. I don't know if you
can stream the old episodes anywhere, like on Game show
Network online or anywhere. Buzzer buzzer without the e. Yeah,

(36:07):
if somebody knows if you can stream old Hollywood Squares,
tell me, because I used to devour those zingers from
the Hollywood Squares and I would look for the Paul
Lynd ones because they would have all of the different actors,
all these celebrities. You know, but I don't care what
John Amos has to say from Good Times. I want
to hear Paul Lynd. Hey, he probably had some good ones. Yeah,

(36:27):
they all had good ones because they had riders. You know,
what unusual thing do you do if you have something
called the gift of tongues? And he said, I wouldn't
tell the Grand Jerry, Why would I tell you?

Speaker 5 (36:43):
I like how they are like some of them will
throw you off the trail like that one could mean
he's doing stuff with a woman, because that one's a
little more vague than some of the other ones, right,
and they probably had them designed that way. But that's
really funny that, Paul.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
When a man falls out of your boat and into
the water, you should yell, man overboard? Now what should
you yell if a woman falls overboard? False? Spade ahead?

Speaker 18 (37:12):
Did they get the questions beforehand? They must write to
the jokes?

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Well, yeah, yeah, yes yeah. And then the person picks
you know, I'll take Paul to block or everybody, And
of course the crowd goes crazy because what's coming. The
great writer George Bernard Shaw once wrote, it's such a
wonderful thing.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
What a crime to waste it on children?

Speaker 1 (37:33):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (37:34):
A whipping?

Speaker 6 (37:39):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (37:39):
It's great?

Speaker 18 (37:40):
Now?

Speaker 17 (37:40):
Is it funny because he's closeted? Would he be as
beloved if he actually came out of the closet?

Speaker 1 (37:45):
I think so, I mean if you back then, not
back then? No, Oh, they would have called them all
kinds of names. I don't get any of the culture.
It's okay to be joking and point fun at it
and say everything, but hey guys, I'm actually gay, right.

Speaker 5 (37:59):
Because everybody would be like, oh, you know, he's just
that way or something that it's once once it was
out in the open and it's accepted, it was you know,
it was still looked at it.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
It's like a sin or there was something wrong with
you or there was it was a.

Speaker 18 (38:11):
Mental pushing the gay agenda, Yeah, pushing the.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Gay agenda all that stuff.

Speaker 18 (38:14):
So you can't talk about those things on my television.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
But it's also it also sucks that like everyone knew,
but you still couldn't come out and say, you know,
I know, like.

Speaker 5 (38:26):
His audience was a bunch of old women that thought
he was like the Bee's knees and he like and
they were attracted to him. They thought he was like
a just l guy and like like super handsome and
and just so like extravagant but gay as hell man
so gay.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Raymond Burd, Raymond Burd, Wally cot.

Speaker 20 (38:52):
Rosebury, Milton, Buddy Oh and the Square.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
See that's when they had Buddy Hackett in the Center
Square too, before Paul Lynde. But they also had like
all those old tiny comics that were like came out
of vaudeville. Merle Haggar so that Milton burn me. Yeah,
and so you know Milton Burle would be you know,

(39:21):
he'd have a cigar in his mouth or you know,
his hair. It's gotta be why pauland was such a
drunk too, because he's like he was living like people knew,
but he couldn't come out and say anything. You know,
they had to be miserable. According to Reverend Billy Graham,
there was a price to be paid for every miracle

(39:43):
and blessing we receive, and the minimum requirement is what
five ten dollars.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Paul ind everybody?

Speaker 1 (39:53):
So Billy Eichner is going to play Paul Lind, that's great,
but he's gonna have to have that like swoopy hair.
But even if you watch match Game, there was Charles
Nelson Riley who was kind of the Paul Lynde of
that show.

Speaker 18 (40:05):
Well, they brought back Nashville Squares was on right before
the pandemic for maybe last year or two. Dusty Slay
who's a very very funny comedian. Yeah he is. He
was one of like the regular people on.

Speaker 4 (40:17):
That and they had comics in Country Stars and all
kinds of stuff on that all the time.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Hey, Frank.

Speaker 14 (40:25):
Alan, this is great. I appreciate you paying tribute to
Paul Land. I'm about four years older than you, so
I grew up on that too. My mom had the
book you referenced. Yeah, do you remember this one? You
have joggers, knee, tennis, elbow.

Speaker 12 (40:43):
And swimmers.

Speaker 14 (40:45):
And Paul paused for a second when all I can
think of his trunks.

Speaker 2 (40:53):
Yeah, the best.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
Thank you. There's Frank and Parma. So yeah, Paul Land,
it's going to be man in the Box. Billy Eichner
producing and starring.

Speaker 5 (41:06):
Old Hollywood was such an interesting place because it's the
place where gay guys could go and be themselves in
a scene.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
They'll they'll have private horror parties right. Not only that,
but celebrities were more protected social media. Everyone has access
to someone now, but back then, like the studios PR
person would answer questions that for that person or whatever.
So it was a lot easier to but everybody your
life if you wanted to.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
Everybody had a secret.

Speaker 5 (41:35):
And things like being gay was looked at as like
a negative things, like a debaucherous thing, so it was
easy to lump all these different things in together. So
I mean, if you go back and all the sexism
that was going on, all the misogyny. I know that
was a product at the times too, but also you know,
if there was a pedophile ring, or is a pedophile ring,

(41:56):
they're all going to go to Hollywood where they're like
they all have secrets and there's all some like everyone
can have there on somebody else in blackmail each other.

Speaker 17 (42:06):
It just makes me sad that you would rather live
your life like you're not really living your life like
you have all these like you've been around and had
luxurious things and been around the world and met wonderful people,
and they never really got to know the real youth.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
They act, they didn't like and if they did.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
All your accomplishments, like you could play piano grade or
wow a crowd, and all you have to do is
say like, I'm gay, this is who I am, and
they'd be.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
Like, oh, well, you're not that talented.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
Well, and that's kind of what in this interview Billy
I never was talking about. He goes, there's no gay
Tom Hanks, there's no gay Kevin Hart, there's no gay
Will Ferrell. Right, He goes, what we've gotten to is
when somebody comes out of the closet. They're celebrated and applauded,
and they're on the cover of magazines and we say
thank you for living your truth. He goes, But then
that actor gets taken off all the casting lists. And

(42:54):
so that's kind of what happened to Paul Linde, is
that once it got undeniable that he was that guy,
they were like, I'm gonna go in a different way.
Why did Elton John get through the cracks? Like why
did he reach icon musician? So? Well, you're you're singing
your songs, you're not speaking someone else. Well, in his case,
he was speaking, singing someone else's words, but you're not.

(43:17):
I mean, it's different if you're in a movie or
if you're on a television show, if you're a musician.

Speaker 5 (43:21):
Trying to be a leading man, because you have to
be that guy that guys are watching him being like
I want to be just like Paul lind And if
he's gone there, you know, and you're like, even if
he's playing a role where he's like masculine in trying
to be like, you know, a tough guy or something
like that, they'll be like, but he's gay, So I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
And so I'm not gay. I don't want I'm not gonna.

Speaker 5 (43:44):
Root for somebody that's gay because that makes me more gay.
And that's how people thought back that.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Paul Lynn for me, was one of the very first
people I recall where I watched on television or watched
at all, and they were being professionally funny, and I
was like, that looks great.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yeah, I would love to do that.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Why didn't you? You know, my life, Bill has taken
so many twists and turns that what I can't even
count all of them?

Speaker 9 (44:12):
Right.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
I appreciate your interest in the sordid details of my
rise and fall and continued fall in this business, But boy,
I just I don't feel at liberty too.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
I've got to keep a lot of those names. What
would your biopic be called?

Speaker 18 (44:29):
Ac Crumbketcher?

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Come on, it's showing, it's showing you. Maybe you you will.

Speaker 5 (44:41):
End up as a crumb catcher again, and it's just
everything in between.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
Yeah, life comes full circle.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
Yeah, the rise and fall? I don't know, did air.

Speaker 18 (44:56):
The Alan Cox story?

Speaker 2 (44:58):
Trying It's gonna be one of your words that you
use all the time.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Pardon me, pardon me?

Speaker 1 (45:02):
As my memoir the Ellen Carr Show.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
On one hundred points of It.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Ellen car Show. Listening to the show doesn't make you
a bad person.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
Getting in the foot locker at the end of your bed.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
That makes you a bad person, that does it?

Speaker 2 (45:25):
Hey, George Ann, Hi, Hi, what's up?

Speaker 1 (45:30):
Oh?

Speaker 21 (45:31):
I just I was riding home from my job in
Youngstown and I was listening to your comments about tattoos
and how should be get really received after they gotten wrinkled. Well,
being a nurse, I take care of a lot of
older people. And remember back in the heyday, the sailors

(45:52):
used to go out, Yeah, sure, probably eighteen nineteen or twenty,
and they used to get a ship on their.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
Chest, sure, or anchor on.

Speaker 21 (45:59):
Their arm or something, and they turn eighty somebody sunk
their battleship.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Right, But is it harder to like get like a
pick line in or you know, I mean, if it's
on their arm, does that complicate things when that old
ink is sitting there? No?

Speaker 12 (46:14):
No, not really.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
You're good enough where you can you can get it
in there and not worry about.

Speaker 21 (46:18):
Do any of them have like arash I'm good, I'm
good at it.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
Do any of them have like fresh tattoos? The older people.

Speaker 21 (46:27):
Uh No, I've never seen anybody with fresh tattoos of
the older generation.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Nobody comes in seventy five with some brand new ink
that they just got last Smoky.

Speaker 21 (46:38):
Must admit. I must admit, for I have a friend
that turned sixty and for a birthday present, she gave
herself a tramp stamp and I didn't.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Even know, God, how old was she?

Speaker 22 (46:49):
Sixty?

Speaker 1 (46:51):
Wow, that's like when you get divorced. That's the gift
you give. Just sounds sounds the market boys is one
of those. Yeah wow, all right, grab I got a
face tattoo like post malone a grand stamp. All right,
thank you, Georgia an all right, there's Georgian who's a

(47:12):
nurse out in Youngstown.

Speaker 5 (47:14):
I got a petty heure. You guys love petticures, you're
always doing.

Speaker 1 (47:18):
Absolutely, Yes, that is the one luxury I'll allow myself
as I get regular pedicures.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
Yeah, I don't. I don't think I love it the
way you do. Really, this is the first one you
ever got.

Speaker 1 (47:28):
I've had one other one?

Speaker 2 (47:29):
And why did you get one? My girlfriend wanted to
get one, so we went and got you got one
with her?

Speaker 1 (47:33):
Okay, Yeah, Gwen and I will go and I mean
if we're on vacation, we'll go get one. We got
one when we were all in Jamaica. We get one
when we're in Florida. When we were out in Phoenix,
when we were doing Indian stuff a couple of years ago,
we got one.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
I mean, if it's timed out right, obviously I'm not
going to get them, you know, two weekends in a row.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
But no, no, yeah, so you weren't as big of
a fan.

Speaker 5 (47:57):
No, And it's like there's parts of it that I enjoy.
The scrub, the scrub, anything that's tickley. I guess I
found out that I have pretty tickling feet. You do,
so then I'm expending all this energy to not giggle
or like pull my feet right. The person in the
face though tickle, Like yeah, okay, that's another thing. The

(48:18):
language barrier is the thing.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
And now with a mask, yeah, that's the tough part too.

Speaker 5 (48:23):
It's just like, yeah, so my girlfriend's there, she's reading
a book, she's having a good time, she's just relaxing
as relaxing because I feel like I'm so ready for
her to move on to the next thing that I
don't want to get yelled at because I wasn't really
paying attention for a little bit. And then she's like
slapping my foot and like yanking around, and I'm like,
I'm sorry, I didn't you know, I'm trying to do

(48:46):
what you need me to do, but I don't. I
don't know exactly, I don't know the process.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
Is this your girlfriend's regular salon? Does she know everybody there?

Speaker 5 (48:55):
No, she doesn't go very often. But she was just
saying that she wanted one. So I just was like,
let's go do it. And we had the time, and
so we went and did it. So because she has
she's only had like three or four in her life
regularly regularly to get them. But we went to a
place that Mary Mary recommended and uh, and it did
a good job. But it just wasn't like a relaxing

(49:17):
really to me. Man, I love them. I fall asleep
in the chair.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
She just chair. She taps your ankle and you put
your ankle up, she taps and you put it back
in the water around the other like she had me.

Speaker 5 (49:32):
Move my feet all over the place. Also, my feet
are so much bigger than all the other feet they
have in there. Understood, But but it's a big they
fit in there, but like her trying, like she's this
little tiny Asian lady and my foot is half her torslevel.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
I mean, I would imagine that they're skilled in all
kinds of feet. But I take your point. It wasn't
fun for you. It just wasn't. It was like, there
was parts of it that I liked.

Speaker 5 (49:59):
But then and you know, she takes out the cheese
grater and gets all that that dry skin off of
your foot, and You're like, Okay, that's a good thing.
I've been actually meaning to do that. And then I
go home and I'm like, why am I socks sliding down?
Because my parmeers on cheese that I had on my

(50:20):
feet is gone, and now my socks don't fit right.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
That's what was the friction between your cheese feet and
your socks is what was keeping your socks on.

Speaker 5 (50:29):
I get, well, it just I was more I can
actually feel my socks as I guess what it was.
But also walk a lot, so I had like pretty
callous feet there.

Speaker 1 (50:37):
But they also like lotion your feet, so that's probably
what made them more right slippery in the socks.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
But it was it wasn't because they weren't slippery. They're
like the like I feel you off.

Speaker 5 (50:49):
I could feel the socks like as I'm walking there,
like moving all around on my feet, and it felt
different than they've ever felt on my feet.

Speaker 1 (50:57):
So they on the soles of your fe to you,
that's what keeps your socks in place, Yeah, well it
keeps me from noticing the fibers in my socks. Like
I was just like I can feel every step there.
You were too sensitive, too sensitive because I had a
nice you had a nice con Now you had a

(51:18):
nice dermis going there exactly man, and now I don't.

Speaker 5 (51:23):
And it was and then like I also was done
like fifteen minutes before my girlfriend because she got her
toest painted yep, And I don't get my toest paint.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
I didn't need that.

Speaker 1 (51:34):
I used to get them painted in the summertime. I
haven't done that for a long time. Yeah, uh you
want that cult? No, thank you? Yeah, good to go.

Speaker 5 (51:42):
I don't hate it. I just wasn't comfortable. And maybe
it's if I go more now that I know the
routine more, I'll be better. But I was just I
don't know, I was like nervous about the whole thing,
really the time. No, okay, yeah, that's no fun. I
feel like it would just I.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Want to do that to somebody. You want to do
it to someone, I would do someone. I want to
make someone wax me.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Oh you wouldn't do that toll. So yeah, not my
favorite thing to So you won't be going back anytime soon,
not soon. Really, I need my dermois back.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
Man.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
I love a good pedicure, and I haven't had one
in a while. I like the nail clipping part a
lot because I don't like clipping my own nails. But
then that's over in like two minutes. The only thing
that unnerves me is when they're going at the cuticles.
I hate thats me because I'm like, man, if I
get bacteria in some little cut, but you got to

(52:46):
give yourself over to the process. I assume that these
women are professionals. They're not, you know, but again, it's
it's been a minute for me. And here's another thing
I think may have played into it. My ex girlfriend
used to give me like home petticures. She's an esthetician
or no, she just like she just liked cutting your toenails.

Speaker 5 (53:07):
My toenails, and then she'd get the cuticles, then give
me like a little foot massage.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
And now why did she enjoy doing that? She had
a footpath and she just liked it. It was just
something that we would do. Uh.

Speaker 5 (53:18):
But then that would also lead to sex, and then
you don't get that aspect, and I'm like, well this
is I mean, we still had sex, but it wasn't
I didn't have sex with the lady.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
I had sex with my girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
Oh so you started to associate sex sex with iic
you like George at the Cured Meats. Yeah, you were
associating sex and and uh messing with your feet.

Speaker 2 (53:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
Well but if you know every time you're gonna get
a pedicure, you're gonna have sex, that's not bad. She's
not gonna have it with the lady, just not with
the lady. Was it an old lady or young lady?

Speaker 2 (53:52):
She's probably like an age I don't know.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
Well right, yeah, I couldn't tell by her voice or anything.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
I mean, she was probably like late thirties.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Because I feel like the next generation maybe of girls
is moving into these salons, like for a long time
it was the old ladies. And they're fine, they're nice,
very personable, but I feel like, now you're getting like
this wave of younger girls who were like taken over
for whatever I mean. So they have like a rack,
and you know, I have a wreck. But with the mask,
it's even harder to get. Not just non verbal cues,

(54:24):
it's harder. I don't talk when I'm having mine done,
but I know the women who do them.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
So they'll last, you know. They Oh and that was
another thing. I was sitting two chairs over from this
girl that worked as a.

Speaker 12 (54:38):
She was a.

Speaker 5 (54:40):
Parole she's like a parole officer, and then she used
to work with kids. So she's just talking about her
job to this lady and she's like, oh, yeah, now
I'm a parole officer, but I used to work with
abused kids.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
And I'm like, this is not.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Gonna relax me. You're talking about your you know.

Speaker 5 (54:56):
Tough job, and some of this is a relaxing time
for you, but now bringing me into this world of
child abuse.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
That I don't want to talk about. Certainly not the salon.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
Yeah, there's a lot of chatty Kathy's Like it's it's
almost as though they're they're salon person is the only
person they ever get to talk to.

Speaker 17 (55:12):
I like those ladies always talk crap about you and
like Japanese. That's my another thing, because I'm sure they are,
because what.

Speaker 12 (55:19):
Do I care?

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Definitely laughing at me and making fun of me, But
if they're insulting me in another language, what do I care?
You don't care that they're talking about you like dogs. No,
I'm They're performing a service that I'm paying them for
and I don't understand their language. So if they're making
fun of me, well I can hold.

Speaker 2 (55:35):
Lingo some vietname, go back there and be like, oh,
who's the big fat guy now when I's going to
trip you up.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
I can only assume that they're insulting me for having
such beautiful feminine feet. They're like, oh, he's gorgeous feet
on this guy, I'd never done an honest day's work
on his feet in his life, beautiful lady.

Speaker 17 (55:52):
Yeah, my friend knew Mandarin, and the lady that was
doing her feet was like talking to the girls next
to her, and she was just talking crap about it
the whole time. She didn't say anything, but like like
that's the ugly that's an ugly color, Like you're I
can't believe you have a husband with these type of
feet type of stuff and like just dog in their
dog in her And then at the end she's like, well,

(56:14):
since you have been talking about me this entire time,
I'm not gonna tip you, and I'm not gonna pay
for your feet. She's like, I'm gonna give you a
I'm not gonna pay for getting my toes done. I'm
going to give you a nasty review. And then like
she took a couple of people.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
With her, so she said, well, that's just a cheap
that's just a cheap way to get a free pedic here.
You make up that you're upsets service. Oh, Paul Lee,
if they were doing it in English, different language, it's
still your customer.

Speaker 14 (56:39):
What.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
I'm fine, and they did the service I paid them for.
I didn't pay them to speak kindly of me.

Speaker 5 (56:44):
They're looking at my feet like right, But you have
to assume that the understand the language that you're speaking,
and so you should treat the customer with a respect.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
I think that's a understood I'm simply saying that, what, like,
why would I care? The only reason and that your
friend knew that is because you happened to have a
friend who spoke the language you happened to learn it.
You happened to She wouldn't have had she wouldn't have
had a bad time if she didn't know the language.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
But she did, and she did have a bad time.
So that's a little over the top.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
Man.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
I don't know. I think you should.

Speaker 2 (57:17):
I think even if she speak back to her in Mandarin. No,
she sat the whole time and just wanted to see
what this lady was gonna say about her. So what
it's funny. She didn't take it as funny.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
And then that friends, she's like, I heard you talk
about me this entire time, and all your little girlfriends
were cackling with you. I'm not paying, but so what
if somebody's insulting me in a language I don't understand.
But she didn't understand it?

Speaker 2 (57:39):
No, she right. My point is she happened to understand it.

Speaker 1 (57:43):
If I understood what my Korean women were saying, I
think it was weird how people really are though. What
they were paying you to do my feet, not compliment me.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
I'm paying you to do my feet.

Speaker 5 (57:53):
Yeah, but I think there is a professionalism that goes
into that where just because they can speak another language
and they can you still show your customer respect, and
you don't talk poorly about them in their presence.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
I get what you're saying. I'm just saying, if I
don't understand what they're saying.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
What do I care. I'm I'm saying, I just I
agree with you.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Well, there should be professionalism. But if I'm ignorant to
what they're saying, it doesn't affect me. Right.

Speaker 5 (58:21):
But they also don't know ruin or can't understand what
they're saying. They assume most people aren't gonna able to
understand what they're saying. But doesn't mean one hundred percent
of the people aren't going to understand Prue.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
But I think they're pretty safe in assuming ninety nine
percent of the people are not going to know Mandarin.
I'm going in there with Google translation. They said it
to record. That's yeah, listen, do whatever you want. I'm
just saying, it's messed up, man. It's you are a
customer like you should and I understand atmosphere, I'm just saying,
I pay them to give me a pedicure, not to

(58:53):
compliment me.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
It's a part of customer service. It comes along with it.
This guy over here, all of a sudden is the
expert on customer service to bitch.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
I'm not providing service. Yes, you are to who to
our our audience, to our customers. We're not buying stuff
from me. They're buying stuff from me. You represent my show,
but they're not coming through the drive through, Alan Cox,
story I have doesn't matter. You can make all the
excuses you want. I got people hitting me up going
poundcakes and douche on the phone. You're representing due on
the phone. Don't you represent me? I speak commander on

(59:27):
the phone talking. You're a fim queen. Alan, I think
you're wrong. I ain't paying to be insulted in any language.
Think about if you were to go to like a
drive through. Yes, you pay for the food, so you
just want them to launch the food into your car.
Do you want it in a bag? Do you want it,
you know, wrapped up inside of the bag. That's that's
all in a language.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
I understand.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
That all in a language I understand. So if they
don't speak your language, then they can just throw your
chicken taraoki into the car.

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Did the woman did know? Did the woman give her
a bad pedicure?

Speaker 1 (01:00:01):
No? Well then that's what you're paying for. If she
was giving me, if you're paying for the experience, experience.
If she was giving me a sloppy pedicure, it was
sloppy you you know what I mean. If she was
doing a bad job and giving me a hard time,
I'd be like, look, lady, if you were focusing less
on giving me a hard time and more on my feet.

Speaker 5 (01:00:19):
No, But if you're in there and they're talking crap
about you and you understand what they're saying, you can't
relax and enjoy that process.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Somebody who's insulting me in English, I'd never go back.
What I'm saying is if I if I, if I
don't know what English.

Speaker 5 (01:00:35):
Or not, if it's in the language that you understand,
and they in this in this scenario, she knows what
they're saying, yes, then that's a little different, right, Which
is why I'm saying, they don't know who speaks the language,
so to be professional, they shouldn't be talking crap about
the customers that are there and just assuming that they don't.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Maybe I'm more maybe I'm more used to getting insulted
than you guys are in English, well getting.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
Assault, but I'm getting listen, I get insulted all the time.

Speaker 5 (01:01:02):
If I'm paying for this when you're paying for a service, right,
that's not when you get insulted paid for the pedicure. Yes,
you're paying for the pedicure and you and if you
were there and you're hearing them talk crap about you,
and that detracts from the experience, that's not good.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
Someone said that this is a Seinfeld bit. Yeah it is.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
Okay, that's.

Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
Going on.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
Where's Mike tail?

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
You said you got some Yeah, Frankenstanza speaks Korean yep,
And Elaine goes to the nail salon and she's sure
they're making fun of her.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
Haven't you learned by now? Punkake?

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Everything is a sign felt. Everything goes back to Seinfeld.
You know how when Trump they go there's a tweet
for everything. There's a Seinfeld episode for everything. Plan You
are a fat face loser, You lost the fight, you
argumented a piece of shrimp. Shut your fat face. Whoa Listen.
I don't know what to tell you. All I'm saying
is he's our customers. Mean, if it was in a

(01:02:00):
different language, you'd just be okay with him saying that. Absolutely,
what do I care? First of all, I don't care
if people insult me in English? Right, but that do
not care And I certainly don't care if somebody insults
me in a language I don't understand.

Speaker 5 (01:02:11):
Okay, well that's you, but you have to think if
you're the business of speaking I speaking, but understand that
the experience of everybody in there is what like you
have to think of it from the person that's running
the business.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
And yes, just because you're okay with it doesn't mean
it's okay to do. I do not disagree with you,
but we're talking theory versus practice. Right, in theory, you're
absolutely correct customer service blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
In practice if they're not doing that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:42):
The only reason this worked out for his friend she
got a free pedicure is because she happened to no
manderin right. But you go back to you, by the way,
do you know do you know how many dialects of Chinese?

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
There are a lot?

Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
Yes, a lot, And she happened to That's an amazing story.
She happened to know the regional dialect that those women
were swashing. I think that's probably why she went there,
because she went to see if they really do talk crap. No,
she went there to get herself a free pedicure. But
she told me about pubic hair in my salad. You
better comp my whole meal, that whole thing. No, listen,
I fully get what you're saying. I'm saying I'm not

(01:03:16):
paying them. First of all, I'm not paying them to
talk to me at all. So if they're talking to
each other and ain't none of my business, I'm on
my phone. But if they're making fun of you and
you are in their business, all right, I know that
they shouldn't be doing most people shouldn't be doing, yes, exactly,
but you get what I'm saying. I don't think most

(01:03:37):
people will be upset at someone insulting them in another language.
I think they would if we insulted someone who didn't
speak English. Yes, huh, it starts war. Well, okay, I
don't have nuclear weapons. I'm talking about regular people. We
didn't escalate from a salon to countries.

Speaker 5 (01:03:57):
But people not understanding other people and feeling just just
that vibe that you get from someone laughing when you're
not in on the joke makes people feel bad.

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
So if if it's in a language, I understand, if you're.

Speaker 5 (01:04:11):
If it's in a language, you don't understand. So if
you're there and you're getting your feet worked on and
they keep like gesturing towards you and laughing, that's why
Elaine brought in uh, Frank Costanza because he's She's like,
I don't like the feeling I'm getting from coming.

Speaker 6 (01:04:27):
Here right now.

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
Saying gesturing is different. You ad you just late our
added in gesturing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
But if they're pointing to you, then there's no there's
no question about what they're saying.

Speaker 5 (01:04:39):
It doesn't necessarily mean they're pointing to you, but they're
you know, they're laughing, and you can you can pick
up on the vibe that what they're saying is about you,
because even if you don't speak the language, you can
pick up on body language and stuff like that and
figure out if they're making fun of you. And I
don't think that's professional, and I think that would bother
most people.

Speaker 2 (01:05:01):
Down.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
So someone comes into my business, as in big English,
I'm allowed to say crap about him.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
It's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that no one's
day is going.

Speaker 1 (01:05:09):
To be listen, no, no, Bill's right, it's a bad
customer service.

Speaker 2 (01:05:12):
People's day will be ruined.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
By being insulted in a language they don't understanding.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
It's impossible.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
No, it's not if I if I insult you in Italian,
if I'm in a room with you, we want to
the soprano.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
So I know a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
Now, come on Boo.

Speaker 2 (01:05:30):
Arlyn Car Show WMMS Radio.

Speaker 9 (01:05:37):
Show that listening to classical music can temporarily.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
Raise your IQ. I feel pretty smart.

Speaker 3 (01:05:44):
If you're looking for the opposite effect, just stay tuned.
Yell Show on one point seven w MMS.

Speaker 2 (01:05:52):
Hey Joe, Hello, hey Joe. All right, oh yeah, yeah,
all right, let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
No, I was running into my vehicle so I can
actually get to this phone call. Oh good, yeah, no,
pretty much what.

Speaker 22 (01:06:11):
The lady was saying beforehand too.

Speaker 12 (01:06:13):
I'm in like, in strong agreeance to that, especially with with.

Speaker 22 (01:06:17):
The I mean, the gas is gas and you have
to change for it. But the wear and tear the time,
like sometimes they can send you to like grocery stores.
I think up ten items, like you know how long
that takes?

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
What about the wear and tear on pound cakes? Colon
from all the food he's ordering.

Speaker 17 (01:06:33):
But I'm asking anybody in a grocery store, and if
I did send someone to a grocery store for ten items,
I would tip ten dollars well.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
Because somebody texted me and they're like, where the hell
you ordering food from? And it's cold when I guess who,
I'm like, it's half cold when it leaves the restaurant
because it's sitting in a bag in the delivery pickup area.
You know, you have like a warmer usually, you know,
the smart ones have like the insulated bag in their car,
but a lot of them don't.

Speaker 2 (01:06:56):
So you're like, okay, I mean, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
I'm just talking like picking up food. When I go
to pick up food from like a restaurant, it's sitting
on the counter in a bag, so it's already half cold.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
I'm not going to pay somebody to bring me that.

Speaker 22 (01:07:11):
You know, and along in that same thing is like
all right, pound kick us and use an example.

Speaker 3 (01:07:16):
How much is your time worth to.

Speaker 22 (01:07:17):
Go shopping for somebody or for them to take up
food and take it to your take it to your
house on a Friday night.

Speaker 17 (01:07:23):
That's a bad example because I'm not I'm not sending
anybody to the grocery store.

Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
I don't do uber. I'm talking about the grocery store.
I'm talking about even food in general, like for.

Speaker 2 (01:07:33):
The convenience factor of it.

Speaker 22 (01:07:35):
Hence why like it hits the convenience, you should pay
if you can't afford it, you know, then I can't
afford it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
If something, If something is within five miles, if you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Want to map it out here and calculate the gas,
calculate the gas.

Speaker 1 (01:07:51):
If something is within five miles from my house, it
would take me fifteen twenty minutes to get not even
fifteen ten minutes to get there. I could do it,
but I employing someone, So take it up with Uber
door Dash and whoever is the employer. I'm not if
it were me, you know, if I wasn't lazy, I
could do it myself. I choose to use the app
and delivery. So I'm giving you some money. I'm not

(01:08:14):
going to tip you ten fifteen dollars for that's I
could buy two meals for that.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
Feel me.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
You get you understand that point.

Speaker 22 (01:08:23):
It's understandable with what you're saying. Okay, but I'm asking
you what your time is worse. But I mean you
you being a man of of WOA means it is
the same thing.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
But but that's what I'm saying when it was when
I was stretched thin during the week and I didn't
feel like grocery shopping because I was doing, you know,
twelve hour days, five days a week.

Speaker 17 (01:08:43):
I didn't feel like going to this store. So yes,
it was worth it to me to if it was
the only time I literally ate that day. Yes, I
would pay twenty dollars for something on uber Ee's. I
would do that, and I would pound cake.

Speaker 1 (01:08:56):
If you were a driver, wouldn't you complain about a
three dollar tip?

Speaker 3 (01:09:01):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:09:03):
No, you wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:09:04):
You would you would do I wouldn't.

Speaker 2 (01:09:13):
No, I wouldn't because I'm like that that's a part
of the job. I mean yeah, I would be like, oh, well,
that's one part of your.

Speaker 12 (01:09:19):
Job to not get paid or to be appreciated.

Speaker 2 (01:09:22):
You know, the customers half good.

Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
I didn't say it. Didn't you want to get done.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
You're the one that gives.

Speaker 12 (01:09:30):
They do not give you everything that you guys, even.

Speaker 8 (01:09:35):
Everybody's underpaid your.

Speaker 2 (01:09:38):
Rights taking up with doord Ashton uber E's.

Speaker 11 (01:09:40):
Like, that's not me.

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
I'm not gonna pay you ten dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
I'm not going to pay you five or ten dollars
for a five or six dollars meal. You're tripping. That's
not that's not a met issue. That's not a low
tip thing for me, that's a universal thing. I'm not
I'm not going to pay you that. I'm sorry. Did
you get hardly?

Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
Wait for something different?

Speaker 8 (01:10:02):
What's one hundred and seventies all the way over to
the Rocky River to the DW three's and then back
and honestly just making up for an example.

Speaker 22 (01:10:11):
You live back overn, what's one hundred and seventeen?

Speaker 1 (01:10:14):
How long would that take you? And then waiting in line?

Speaker 6 (01:10:16):
Okay, making sure that you get.

Speaker 1 (01:10:18):
Back to your house not my issue.

Speaker 2 (01:10:21):
You're trying to make it my issue. That's not my issue.
If you don't want to do it, don't do it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
If it's too far, if you got to do a
cost benefit analysis, if you say, if this person might
not tip me, if I know that I've been getting
low tips today, do I really want to make this journey?
Can I really afford to take this trip and not
get tipped? Then you say no, But it's like it's
like off the customer. It's like the uber driver who
wouldn't take us to Bay Village because he wanted to
hang out downtown and I'm not saying I wouldn't be

(01:10:47):
the person to not tip. I'm not going to give
you five or ten dollars for a tip. I willd
tip I if my McDonald's meal, and now McDonald's is
going up. But if I pay fifteen dollars for a
McDonald's meal and then they tackle on the delivery fee,
I don't know that you don't get that part of
that delivery fee.

Speaker 2 (01:11:05):
I thought that was a part of it. I thought
that was the customer service.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
I thought you get part of the delivery fee and
then you know some of the tip, all of the tip,
so I can tip.

Speaker 8 (01:11:14):
You customer service part of that when you're paying the fee.

Speaker 22 (01:11:18):
That thanks for the for the people that are answering
the phone, for the technology for them tea.

Speaker 1 (01:11:24):
Again, you're mad at the wrong person. You have probably
done multi.

Speaker 2 (01:11:33):
Poka.

Speaker 1 (01:11:33):
Are you saying that these apps should pay their people more? Absolutely,
that's what. But that's what the people but they're not gonna.
That's what the people who work for these companies, but
they're not gonna. These companies take every opportunity to not
pay them more.

Speaker 17 (01:11:48):
So here here's a solution, because I'm not going to
pay more either I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
Not gonna pay more. I'm just not gonna use that app.
So you and me can get together, we can start
a union, and then you know, get mad at uber
and protests.

Speaker 1 (01:11:58):
I'm with you there, but I'm not going to pay
five and ten dollars more on a five or ten
dollars meal.

Speaker 17 (01:12:05):
You're tripping. I'm just not going to use it. I
can go without. It was a matter of convenience, and
when you make it inconvenient for me, supply and demand.
No mad, because that's yes, I'm not. You're ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (01:12:16):
There's people that don't tip at all and they feel like, oh,
you order off the service. They're already, you know, getting
as much as they can out of you, and now
you're mad that you don't tip enough. You're bugging.

Speaker 3 (01:12:27):
I live.

Speaker 8 (01:12:28):
It's the whole service in general. The people that order
throw it are part of it as well. Like you
guys are just as guilty as I'm not.

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
I'm not guilty as the employer. I'm not as guilty
as the employer. You're mad at the wrong person.

Speaker 8 (01:12:41):
If you spend five dollars on grub hub or over
or door ash, you spend five dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:12:48):
If I spend five dollars, I'm talking.

Speaker 8 (01:12:50):
About total five dollars for a five dollars meal.

Speaker 22 (01:12:52):
How much do you think the employer is how much
do you think the employees, the person that's delivering it
to you.

Speaker 7 (01:12:57):
I don't know that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:58):
I don't know about all that. I don't I don't know.

Speaker 12 (01:13:02):
Well you should take.

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
I'm not no, I'm telling you the text I'm getting there.
Fifty to fifty.

Speaker 1 (01:13:15):
No. But there's a lot of people that don't like tipping.
I like to tip. I want to.

Speaker 5 (01:13:19):
If someone's gonna bring me food, I'm gonna tip them
at least five dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:13:23):
You can do one or two things. Here's what you
can do, and maybe people will have us off side.

Speaker 1 (01:13:27):
If you want to wear a shirt that says police tip,
we don't make blah blah blah. I remember when we
were in school, teachers who were protest they would wear
a little button to say I don't want to strike,
but I will.

Speaker 2 (01:13:37):
If I have to.

Speaker 1 (01:13:37):
If you want to do something like that, maybe you'll
pull out the heartstrings with the people that have it.
And then maybe I'm like, you know what, I didn't
know you weren't getting paid, right, Maybe I got some
cash for you. I'll get yellow some extra, but I'm
not gonna do it all willy nilly because I'm hurting too.
How do you tip when you just go to a
restaurant and the.

Speaker 3 (01:13:53):
Best way of not hurting is to save your money not.

Speaker 8 (01:13:55):
To spend it on.

Speaker 2 (01:13:59):
Well, then you're out of a job.

Speaker 8 (01:14:00):
Then then you know what, Then the crops will get
thinned out, and a strong like you.

Speaker 17 (01:14:05):
Then no one would have anything because everyone's just gonna
just not order anything.

Speaker 1 (01:14:10):
Well, you.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
You're mad at the wrong person, Cody, I'm a man.

Speaker 1 (01:14:16):
At you.

Speaker 2 (01:14:18):
That you're trying to justify.

Speaker 22 (01:14:19):
It is unjustifiable.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
It is a dollar item for three items?

Speaker 8 (01:14:25):
Are items you gotta drive ten miles for three items?

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
You're making You're making assumptions. I live in Cleveland, I've lived.
You're making assumptions. I've never ordered. You're making assumptions. I
live in Cleveland, proper. I have never ordered anything that
is ten miles away. I'm not ordering stuff from west
Lake or or Maria or Bay Village or anything like that.
I will order Cleveland proper. Tell me how long it

(01:14:51):
would take if you're ordering from me and only me.
That would take me take you ten minutes and ten
miles to get to me. There's not a place, so
I wouldn't do that.

Speaker 3 (01:15:00):
Yes there is, if you lived over on East and seventy.

Speaker 6 (01:15:04):
Third and I have to take it.

Speaker 3 (01:15:08):
How long do you think that would take?

Speaker 18 (01:15:11):
Proper?

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
That's well, you're you tap it for the next guy?

Speaker 2 (01:15:15):
Pound cake? Do you tip when you do carry out?

Speaker 6 (01:15:20):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:15:22):
No, I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
If you pick up carry out, you don't tip. Nope,
And now I won't because now you'll pushing my buttons.
I don't like bim bullies.

Speaker 13 (01:15:28):
And now.

Speaker 1 (01:15:30):
That you know, you're not getting tipped out, Now my
three hours are too little, while I'm too poor.

Speaker 2 (01:15:34):
And I'm not going to order out and.

Speaker 1 (01:15:36):
When I do, no, what's getting nothing?

Speaker 8 (01:15:37):
Joe.

Speaker 1 (01:15:38):
Joe does have a good point, though, a lot of
people think that that delivery fee is the tip, and
that's not necessarily the case.

Speaker 2 (01:15:47):
I didn't start that fire. I say, per I, thank you, Joe.
I appreciate the insight.

Speaker 9 (01:15:54):
Thanks.

Speaker 2 (01:15:54):
Okay, how much do you if you go out to dinner?
How much do you tip? Fifteen percent? Oh you are
stop going out man? Why twenty percent?

Speaker 3 (01:16:05):
It was fifteen percent?

Speaker 2 (01:16:06):
It was fifteen percent when I was growing up.

Speaker 1 (01:16:08):
When you were growing up, you know, things change, right,
It was probably ten percent when I was growing up,
But now I tip a lot.

Speaker 5 (01:16:17):
I tap at least twenty percent. And if I go,
if I pick something up, the servers still have to.
Like I go to Graham and I have dinner, and
one of the things that we get regularly is from
a barbecue place. And those people that put together the
takeout orders are also serving tables, so they had to
stop serving their tables to go and put together my order,

(01:16:40):
which is just as much, if not more than what
they're doing for their tables. So I tip well on
that order. Usually it's about a thirty seven dollars order.
I'll throw them ten bucks.

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
People texting me, you're also making the case that with
gas and car maintenance and all that, it's way more
expensive to be a delivery driver than to be a server, right,
because you're driving to work, then serving, and then leaving.

Speaker 5 (01:17:05):
The whole point is I'm being lazy and not leaving
my house. I'm gonna take care of the person that
got me my food. You're paying for the convenience essentially.
But again, I've never tiped my mind, I've never I've.

Speaker 2 (01:17:17):
Never used that.

Speaker 1 (01:17:18):
You're gonna tip even less than the awful tips you
were leaving before. No, it's not like you were tipping
a lot, and you're like, can change my mind. I'm
not gonna tip so much. You were already tripping tipping poorly.
You guys, let me see the error of my ways.
I appreciate it.

Speaker 5 (01:17:33):
I would just be embarrassed if I was with you
and you tipped fifteen percent. Well, I don't care, don't
go with me, then I'm not If I saw your tip,
I'd be like, I gotta throw some more money down
because he left the bad Yeah, you kind of have
to make up for the tip.

Speaker 1 (01:17:44):
Yeah, I thought that was I thought that was the standard.
I thought fifteen percent was the standard. I'm always tip
twenty percent. I too, So it was not only that,
but for me and not only for math. The math
is just easier for me, right, twenty percent math is
way easier.

Speaker 2 (01:17:59):
And it also the pins like I would I would
do something for me. Twenty is the minimum.

Speaker 1 (01:18:04):
And if I like the person, like if I have
loose cash, which is rare. If I have cash, I
will put that and then I will also do something
on the card but sometimes I'm not paying for the meal.
Sometimes I'm with someone else who would pay the mail
if you because this happens to me a lot. If
you're at a bar and you order a bunch of
drinks right my cards open, I've got a couple of rounds,

(01:18:24):
and but they know who I am, didn't charge me
for all of them. Will you tip on what the
bill would have been or what they give you? I
know I usually tip what it would have been for sure, don't.
I don't want to do that. I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (01:18:41):
Just now, do you tip per drink on that? Or
do you drink? Is it a bucket drink? Is it
a bucket drink? Or is it are you tipping?

Speaker 1 (01:18:46):
Uh?

Speaker 17 (01:18:47):
Based on the percentage, it's a bucket drink, a bucket drink, Allen.
It literally says next to the delivery fee that the
driver gets none of it. Maybe on some see that, well, yeah,
that's not I don't think that it's a universal bit
of fine print. I think there are some people are
making a lot of assumptions. Well, but when you don't
have all the information, that's all you're left to do.

(01:19:08):
So when people saw that information and I thought, I
thought you know, it's rare. It happens sometimes, but it's
rare that they're delivering it directly to me. Usually there's
a wait of time to like, oh, this person has
a couple of stops along the way. So I figure,
if each person is tipping per item, you know they're
they're making you know, three dollars at this house, four

(01:19:29):
dollars at this house, five dollars at this house, and
then my little easily three dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:19:34):
You know they made.

Speaker 17 (01:19:34):
They came out pretty good. It's less than an hour
and you banked you know, twenty some dollars. I look
at that as a win, and that's just an hour
of your day, I guess.

Speaker 1 (01:19:42):
I guess My thought is there's no one driving delivery
who's making a ton of money there. You probably can't
get paid enough to come out on top with that, right,
So it ends up maybe you're breaking even, maybe you're
covering a couple of costs. I don't know. Never I've
never delivery driven, and I've never ordered off of these apps,

(01:20:05):
but it certainly doesn't seem like it's any situation delivery
fees or tips or not that anybody is killing it
on these.

Speaker 17 (01:20:15):
Well, they're probably not. Now I feel really bad and
I won't do it anymore. You won't do what I guess,
won't order out anymore. Well, that's what people are suggesting.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
Well, if you can't, if you can't afford to tip properly,
you shouldn't be engaging in that translation.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
I didn't know that that was a thing.

Speaker 1 (01:20:33):
I thought that that was that was a good tip,
tipping three dollars, like I didn't know you tipped percentage
on a delivery Like that's well, either your friends group
either all your friends are trash tippers or people I
don't if you're tip every time they're ordering something for me.
But surely you've been in a situation where somebody has
seen that you're tipping and they go, what, No, Well

(01:20:53):
then they're all trash tipping.

Speaker 2 (01:20:54):
No one's ever looked at my phone and said how much.

Speaker 3 (01:20:57):
Did you leave? The driver?

Speaker 2 (01:20:58):
Like they don't.

Speaker 1 (01:21:00):
Like when you're signing a check, No I will ask
I say how much should I leave? I look at
the person like, oh, this person was really good. I mean,
now they give you the math on the bottom, like
you know, you go to the place where it's got
the they have the square table sign you go to,
like Mitchell's or whatever. They got the buttons right there,
the suggested tipping.

Speaker 2 (01:21:17):
They give you the amount. You know, do the custom tip.
You're doing it?

Speaker 1 (01:21:21):
Well, No, I would.

Speaker 17 (01:21:21):
I would do because a lot of times those setics,
it'd be like your your suggestions hip should be like
something dollars in some change.

Speaker 2 (01:21:29):
I'm like, well, I'm not going to leave change, so
I round down, round.

Speaker 1 (01:21:33):
Down, down.

Speaker 17 (01:21:35):
I'm like, oh, it's fifteen thirty You're embarrassing, fifteen thirty six.
You will get fifteen dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:21:40):
Wow, you can just go sixteen years und I love it.
So you'd rather have the very here thirty six cents,
Mary would be choking, it would be lighting you up.

Speaker 2 (01:21:54):
I know you don't. That's the best part. I don't get.

Speaker 1 (01:21:56):
It wouldn't be it wouldn't be fun if you cared.
You don't care here, I know you'd rather have the
thirty six cents that amount of money you lose in
your couch and never know it was gone. That is
the perfect coda to this whole conversation. Pound cake rounds down.
I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:22:12):
I agree with Cody, and I love the tip.

Speaker 13 (01:22:16):
I was raised on tips for these guys to drive
three blocks after they walk in a restaurant and want
twenty five dollars tips for.

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
Thirty dollars the food is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (01:22:31):
I mean, that's a little that's a little disingenuous. They're
not driving three blocks.

Speaker 5 (01:22:36):
I love how people that don't want to tip really
minimize the work that's going down.

Speaker 2 (01:22:41):
They're like, oh, they drove.

Speaker 5 (01:22:42):
Three blocks, wanted to do that for twenty five and
I want a twenty five dollars tip.

Speaker 1 (01:22:47):
No, he's saying, tip twenty five dollars on a thirty
Do you drove three blocks? You're saying a percentage and
I don't think you should go buy that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:56):
So what would what would you tip on a thirty
dollars order?

Speaker 1 (01:22:58):
But what I'm saying is if it was twenty nine
to seventy.

Speaker 2 (01:23:02):
Eight, would you round up?

Speaker 11 (01:23:03):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:23:03):
He's a roundown, But no, no, he.

Speaker 1 (01:23:05):
Said, if it was thirty sixty, round down, if it
was seventy eight, would you round un?

Speaker 17 (01:23:08):
Because according to your logic, you're saying a restaurant can
just charge whatever they want for whatever food item you get,
and therefore the price of the tip should go up,
which is ridiculous because the driver, the deliveranchever has nothing
to do with the prices of the food.

Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
They are delivering it to me. So if the people
who are leaving messages agree with you, well I can.
I can walk alone on this one. They don't have
to leave they are agreeing with you.

Speaker 2 (01:23:33):
Okay, one on your team.

Speaker 12 (01:23:36):
Man, you don't like the tip, you don't like the money,
don't do the job. Get a better job, quick complaining, Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:23:44):
My god, all right, love me, get a better job.

Speaker 2 (01:23:52):
I love the get a better job people too.

Speaker 1 (01:23:54):
By the way, I don't know anyone who has ever
done this as their only job, right, Like, you work
during the day if you're lucky, and then they're driving
at night.

Speaker 2 (01:24:04):
It's a side hustle. And and I would say rarely, don't.

Speaker 17 (01:24:07):
I don't think I've ever really ordered one item off
of because that is a waste. I do understand that
it's expensive to deliver the food and whatever the company charges.
So I wouldn't order just a cup of coffee and
that's you know, six bucks, and then another six dollars
for the delivery and then tip one dollar. I wouldn't

(01:24:27):
do that, so I would get something else, and then
therefore I get you're at least getting two dollars.

Speaker 1 (01:24:31):
I've ever town pound Cake's argument is very similar though.

Speaker 2 (01:24:37):
Two.

Speaker 1 (01:24:38):
The complaint that people have about companies like Walmart and Tart,
you know, these companies that don't pay their people enough
to get benefits and things like that, because we end
up paying for that people who are on food stamps
and things. So he's talking about, hey, these companies should
pay people more.

Speaker 2 (01:24:56):
So he's absolutely correct about that. I agree with that.

Speaker 5 (01:25:00):
I think I think companies should pay more. I think
everybody should be able to make a living wage. And
you guys to say, I looked, and okay, what do
we want us to say? So you're telling me you
buy one item.

Speaker 17 (01:25:10):
You say, you get a nice steaming faheatable from a restaurant.
It's forty dollars. You mean to tell me you order
that one item and it's getting delivered to your house.
You mean to tell me you're gonna give what a
twenty percent? That's a terrible example. I am not ordering
no forty dollars for eatable.

Speaker 2 (01:25:26):
And I'm about this. This is gonna be a really
good You're faeatable.

Speaker 1 (01:25:31):
Is a driver because they got it has nothing to
do with the price of the restaurant.

Speaker 3 (01:25:35):
Yes, the car show on one hundred MS.

Speaker 9 (01:25:43):
It's not every day you hear him complain about something.

Speaker 1 (01:25:47):
Wait, yes it is car on one hundred point seven doublemms.

(01:26:28):
You speak any Cree. No, this is a Kree artist.
She's Canadian Indigenous. Her name is Babe Buckskin and she
did a part Kree, part English version of the Immigrants
song from led Zeppelin. I mean she definitely takes her

(01:26:51):
liberties with it. That's okay, it's cute. I love what
she's doing there. Where is their gear plugged in? They're
out in the middle of a they're at the base
of a mountain.

Speaker 2 (01:27:03):
They're out in the.

Speaker 1 (01:27:06):
In the Canadian countryside, and they've got all their amps
and stuff and she's using a wired mic.

Speaker 2 (01:27:12):
Maybe they have like a big power generator. I mean,
I I don't hate it at all.

Speaker 9 (01:27:19):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:27:19):
I kind of dig the fact that it is different,
you know.

Speaker 1 (01:27:21):
I mean, she didn't go exact for the like here's
the way it needs to be arranged musically, like they
mis theirs.

Speaker 2 (01:27:27):
It's kind of cool.

Speaker 1 (01:27:28):
She goes by bb Buckskin, but her given name was
Danny Ghostkeeper.

Speaker 2 (01:27:33):
I love those indigenous names. Man Danny Ghostkeeper.

Speaker 1 (01:27:36):
Why not use that? She grew up in Northern Alberta,
Canada and she's a pop rock artist.

Speaker 2 (01:27:44):
Stuff there. I don't mind that at all. That's good,
not at all pretty good.

Speaker 1 (01:27:52):
Bb Buckskin, she's over there on if you follow her
on Instagram, she's bebe Underscore Buckskin.

Speaker 2 (01:27:58):
Wasn't that your your nickname, BB Buckskin?

Speaker 7 (01:28:02):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:28:02):
No, that was that was Cec Lambskin, right, yeah, back
in my condom days, yes, yes, I'm sorry that It's okay.
Ever since my vasectomy, I dropped Cecie Lambskin. All right. Now,
I'm a latex man. I didn't like those lamb you know,
I'm a latex allergy anything like that. I understand what
the Lambskin condoms are for, but I didn't have anything.

Speaker 2 (01:28:24):
Like that on the lamb skin.

Speaker 1 (01:28:27):
Yeah, it is it the same vibe, Like, not exactly.
I mean, I guess if you're wearing condoms. I mean,
for all the guys that complain and can't feel anything,
it doesn't really matter. Of course, back in the day,
I mean, I I hate to focus on my advanced age,
but I used to use a wine skin back in
the day, rob wine skin, No Cec lambskin was not.

(01:28:53):
I stopped using that quite some time. I mean, I
do have a number of other aliases, you know, I'll
throw these out at people all the time, And there's
certainly anybody one of our customers who might hear one
of my aliases, because I'll use these when I travel.
If I don't want to stay in a hotel or
my own under my own name, I'll go to one
of my aliases.

Speaker 2 (01:29:11):
I'll check in, take two, are we rolling?

Speaker 1 (01:29:20):
I think so, I'll check in this is this isn't
live right, and these microphones on in three two one
go so rob. If I don't want to check into
a hotel under my own name, I have a whole
bunch of other names that I can use, like I'll use.

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
Skip intro or link in bio.

Speaker 7 (01:29:42):
Like that one.

Speaker 1 (01:29:43):
Yeah, Hi, I'm in room for twenty four. I'm Mario Speedwagon.
Oh right this way, mister Speedwagon. I'm not Cargoon. Yes,
I'm doctor Dudley Saturday at your service. Now, they never
asked to see any kind of doctor it, so you
can tell them. Just throw doctor on the front of

(01:30:05):
your name, even if you're staying somewhere under your own
name of course I never am. I'm always Rod tourniquet
or Max payload or Florian casserole or Clumpy fromage or
one of those. Right, you throw doctor on the front.
I don't know that they would treat you any differently.
We do have a long running viilent strain in this

(01:30:26):
country of anti intellectualism. So there's a chance somebody might
treat you worse if they think you're a doctor. True,
but it's worth throwing in there because they might give
you an arched eyebrow. They'll go, is your name really
Defaulty Rubbers yet? No, I'm doctor Defaulty Rubbers. Hey, what
kind of name is that? I go, It's Cree, It's

(01:30:50):
Canadian Cree. And you're not saying what you're a doctor of?
That's right, you know what I mean.

Speaker 10 (01:30:53):
So it's people are gonna assume, oh, MD, But no,
maybe you just have a doctor it's of something. Yeah,
you know you're a doctor of words that Rob doesn't understand.

Speaker 2 (01:31:05):
That's right. See, well there's a lot of things you wonder.

Speaker 1 (01:31:09):
I mean, PhD literally means doctor of philosophy, right, so
you can go, I'm a PhD. I've got a pH
d in entomology for instance, that's of course the study
of pastries.

Speaker 2 (01:31:23):
M you're a doctor of whatever. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:31:32):
I say, I'm Harold Palladium. It's one of the other
names I'll use. Benton Krem you throw a doctor on
the front and it's fun. Of course, that's fantastic, all
of them. Yeah, well, I don't like to over use them.
There's a couple that have been underused. I haven't used

(01:31:52):
pune Hairdswith in a while. I'm a fan of that one,
or Tux Flamingo. You know people haha, Richard Cox, that's
my uncle. By the way, did I mention like my
uncle died and nobody knew? Like we got a we
got a in my sibling group chat. Yeah, in my
sibling group chat, my brother goes when we found out

(01:32:17):
that my uncle died.

Speaker 2 (01:32:18):
Did I talk about all this where my only uncle died?

Speaker 1 (01:32:20):
I remember what I talked about, So my mom's only
we found out that my mom's only brother died, like
before Christmas.

Speaker 2 (01:32:31):
Now we hadn't seen. I hadn't seen when.

Speaker 1 (01:32:33):
We grew up with him, Like I was probably his
favorite nephew at the time. My sister hadn't even been
born yet. But it was my We only knew my
mom's side of the family, and it was just my
mom and her brother and they were mostly estranged for
most of their adult lives.

Speaker 2 (01:32:47):
But we would see him, you know, when we were kids.

Speaker 1 (01:32:49):
And we didn't see him for a long long time,
like he lived with my grandma till he was like
forty two, and then he like peaced out. So that
didn't help the familial relations with my mom and him. Anyway,
I flash forward. I didn't hadn't seen him until he
shows up at my grandmother's funeral ten years ago almost

(01:33:09):
and he was so out of it, like I had to.
I introduced myself self to him. He was like telling
me who he was. I go, uncle Bob, it's allan,
I'm a grown ass man now.

Speaker 2 (01:33:20):
Whatever. Well we did we.

Speaker 1 (01:33:21):
Because he had no connection any of us. He died
and we didn't know. And I don't know how my
brother found if my brother must have been looking around
or maybe he got curious and found his obituary. And
then on top of this, they go, oh, and one
of Dad's brothers died too. So yeah, because we really
didn't know my dad's side of the family, and it
was like and there was a photo and an obituary,
and it's like, you know, I'm so because it's happened

(01:33:43):
a couple of times with me with friends where I
didn't find out that they died until like a year later,
and so I'm like so triggered by that now and
it happens, and I'm just so so crestfallen and upset
when those things happened. But I was like so weird,
so weird. How long had had he been gone? Did
you say I missed that my uncle? Yeah, from we

(01:34:03):
found out for Christmas? And you found out when like
his birthday was on Christmas Day when we would go
to my grandma's for Christmas every year, we'd have a
cake on Christmas. You talking about getting screwed because your
birthday's on Christmas. I'm sure that's how we felt. We
used to have a cake for him as part of
our Christmas festivities for my uncle. And he was four
years older than my mom or something like that. So

(01:34:24):
he died like eighty oh you know, yeah, he died
right before Christmas this past Christmas.

Speaker 2 (01:34:31):
None of us knew because we hadn't had any contact
with him. Now, how does your mom take something like that?
I asked my brother.

Speaker 1 (01:34:37):
I'm like, so you told mom. I'm like, did Mom
send this to you? He goes, no, No, I had
to tell her Jesus. And I'm like, I can't imagine
other than just kind of being wistful about whatever your
lost relationship was with her only sibling. I'm like, I
can't imagine she was that like like broken by it.
You know, she was probably just really bummed out. Yeah,

(01:35:00):
and it would be weird she had no connection with
him whatsoever, you know, in like the last twenty five years,
and then to find that in like the obituary, Like
I don't know if my brother ran across it.

Speaker 2 (01:35:11):
I don't know what the hell, but it was so strange.

Speaker 1 (01:35:16):
And so, you know, you find out that people, you know,
when I have to finally rob kill doctor Barnabas Tahoe,
that's gonna be tough.

Speaker 2 (01:35:29):
Alan.

Speaker 1 (01:35:29):
My alias is Shlomo Defrigerator. Now see, I like that.
I would that's a good one. I mean Shlomo. You know, again,
you might run into some issues with that, but I
like it. I think anytime you can make up a
name and use it in a mixed company, it's great.

(01:35:51):
That is, and it sounds like a humble brige. But
it's really not, because I'm very fortunate to have been
successful in Northeast Ohio. But that is a bit of
a downside when people know who you are, because you
can't play around with them, right, Not everybody knows who
I am, and so you can kind of gauge that.
I'm sure this happens to you too. You can kind
of gauge that, and then you can tell them they go, oh,
what do you do for a living? You can just
make up something insane. That's fun. You're meeting people and

(01:36:15):
they have no idea who you are.

Speaker 2 (01:36:16):
That's the best.

Speaker 10 (01:36:17):
My favorite is when when they ask and they clearly
know you know what I mean, like you're you're in
a situation.

Speaker 2 (01:36:23):
I was at a event for my daughter's lacrosse team
and one of the parents, oh, what do you do
for a living?

Speaker 1 (01:36:29):
I'm like, dude, but you knew that?

Speaker 2 (01:36:32):
They knew?

Speaker 10 (01:36:33):
Yeah, how did you know they knew? Because they're in
like a circle of people that Okay, so do you
play along?

Speaker 1 (01:36:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:36:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I work in radio. Oh really, where
do you work work at? WMMS?

Speaker 11 (01:36:45):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:36:46):
Are you on the air?

Speaker 1 (01:36:47):
I am now?

Speaker 10 (01:36:48):
Yeah, oh are you on the morning show. No, no,
I'm on in the afternoon. Oh yeah, I listen all
the time. Okay, yeah, I'm robbing. Oh geez, that's great.
It's like fifteen questions to get to you.

Speaker 1 (01:36:58):
Yeah, but you have said, like, I don't have a
you have like such a distinct device. I would think
that they would know immediately what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:37:04):
Over and I just started going on his wife's neck
and then it worked out. You may know me as
the clip rattler. But all right, Oh I didn't know
you was rob I only knew, right.

Speaker 1 (01:37:16):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like meeting a porn star. They recognize
you with your clothes on. I'm sorry. Yeah, I've only
seen the back of your bad.

Speaker 12 (01:37:26):
Dad.

Speaker 1 (01:37:26):
Is your Alan?

Speaker 2 (01:37:27):
Does your dad still contacts you? He does not.

Speaker 1 (01:37:30):
That hasn't happened a long time, usually because my alexis
are unplugged and that was our only form of communication.

Speaker 3 (01:37:34):
For this is your further speaking from New elect.

Speaker 10 (01:37:40):
Nope, I'd plug it in once in a while just
to check in. I mean that'd be nice, right, I mean,
I keep it unplugged.

Speaker 1 (01:37:45):
But I unplugged it in the first place because the
goddamn thing would reboot at like three in the morning,
and Alexa would start talking like, I'm like crapping my
bed because this thing in the middle of the night,
which is like not far out of you know, the bedroom,
in another room, and it's like, bang, I don't know what.

(01:38:06):
I'm like, what is happening around here? So I just
hard unplugged it.

Speaker 10 (01:38:10):
That happened to me the other day, just out of nowhere,
because we play rain sounds at night just kind of
help us sleep. Oh, keep the house nice and seren
and uh out of nowhere loud. I'm like, oh yeah,
just jump up. Scares the hell out of you.

Speaker 1 (01:38:27):
See what Rob doesn't want to tell you, and I'll
tell you because I'm candid with you. The reason that
we probably both use rain sounds is it because the
sound is so similar to applause and we need that
all the time. Nothing will make me fall asleep faster
than the sound of I mean rain, rain is what
not applause. It sounds like, oh the soothing, soothing sounds

(01:38:52):
of rain slash applause. It's not my fault, but they
sound so similar. Alan My birthday is December twenty fourth,
and yes it sucks, okay, well, probably probably less than
December twenty fifth.

Speaker 2 (01:39:12):
Hi, Allen and Rob.

Speaker 11 (01:39:14):
It's another mic from Parma calling, is everyone excited for
the Barreled Baress Manilo show, which is Thursday night at
the No Mo Romo Pio. Like Allan Cox, my first
concert was Barreled and or Baris Manilo at Blossom back
in the nineties. Unfortunately I cannot make it. It is

(01:39:35):
my bowling night. Can you hit the post on my karaoke?
Go to copa Cabana love me jez.

Speaker 1 (01:39:43):
Isn't it? It was like, yeah, thank you, Mike, I
forgot Barreled Manilow is tomorrow night.

Speaker 2 (01:39:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:39:49):
There I I've had a brief conversation with my mom
about her coming to Cleveland because it's the farewell tour
tomorrow night. So we're at the Rocket Arena. It is
the last time Barry Manilow will play in Cleveland. Barreled, Yeah,
Bana Buzle and what wait? Yeah, what a week post

(01:40:13):
that was? I'm sorry, Mike, Oh god, what a twenty
four seconds? Redo? It a five hundred points of a babble?
Got some tickets for Barreled Manilo. That's the full lay
of this guy's real lame is Globo defrigerator, come on

(01:40:35):
his farewell tour. Good time Barry, It's about about the
rocking the riddle.

Speaker 2 (01:40:41):
Take it's still available.

Speaker 1 (01:40:42):
Just kid this sold out new song here called Copa
Come the.

Speaker 2 (01:40:47):
Bustle those all right, secondary music. That's really good.

Speaker 10 (01:40:55):
Pause sing person sing left it right in there, man,
how about some rain for a barreled man? Lah, there
you go, Let it all rain down, Copa Cabana Again.
That's the stuff I grew up listening to. I'm the
Buzzard Burial Tomorrow, and I don't know why I was. Again,

(01:41:18):
it's not really on my radar, So thank you Mike
for reminding me of that. But there had been a
brief conversation with my mom some months ago about, hey,
do you think that you'd want to come to Cleveland
to see the Barrier. Now I could have just as
easily taken her to the Chicago stop, but I thought, oh, well,
this would be an opportunity for my mom to hang out,
she to come to Cleveland, And she politely declined, And

(01:41:42):
so I said, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:41:43):
You want to load up on some Worder's originals and
walk over after the show tomorrow.

Speaker 10 (01:41:50):
No, I don't think so sure. I mean it could
be a good way for us to meet people. I
wonder if he had.

Speaker 1 (01:41:56):
That strikes me as a show where there's not going
to be an opener. You know, back in the day,
that would be a show where the opener was a comedian, right,
all those guys that have been around for one hundred years,
Bill Marjorie Seinfeld and all those guys, that generation of comedians,
Jay Leno. You know, those were the gigs like when
you really started getting some notice, you'd be opening for
musical acts, so you do arenas, and they were terrible

(01:42:19):
gigs for the comedians because you know, it's just like
a band that opens. People didn't come for you unless
they're me. And sometimes I'll come for the opener, ladies
and gentlemen. Rich little, yeah, rich little in front of
like Diana Ross or something, you know what I mean.
When I've had Bill Marram before, he's like, oh yeah,
it's open for Patty LaBelle. Nobody cared. You know, you
got ten minutes in front and so. But Barry Manlow

(01:42:43):
strikes me as a guy that maybe just doesn't even
have an opener, that it's just him. He comes out
probably in the round. See, now I'm I'm working myself
into walking over there tomorrow night. You think he's in
the round, Yeah, I bet he is, really well because
I think literally when I saw him as a kid
with my mom, he was in the round. Yeah, he's

(01:43:03):
just so goddamn old. Now he got to assume he's
not like running around doing stuff. Well he wasn't that.
I mean, that's not really the I don't know. He
was always quite the showman, and so obviously as a
younger man he was probably a bit more spry. He's
eighty one now, but I don't know, maybe he's still
out there doing stuff. His face is only six, so

(01:43:24):
it's yeah, you know, it's not bad, right, Just the
rest of them is where the problem is.

Speaker 10 (01:43:30):
We should go over I'm telling you. Pockets full of
Worthers buying listeners. Hm, Hi, I'm rob. Have you ever
listened to the show. Here's a Worthers please listen?

Speaker 5 (01:43:41):
Hi?

Speaker 1 (01:43:41):
How are you little Alan Cox show logos on the Worthers?

Speaker 18 (01:43:45):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:43:46):
Yeah, Well anyway, that's tomorrow night, and then he'll do
Grand Rapids.

Speaker 2 (01:43:51):
In Vegas and a bunch of other cities. Could work
the AARP table.

Speaker 1 (01:43:57):
Yeah, but you know what you say that and I
think you're right, that is going to be the bulk
of that audience. But there are younger people because of
their parents or their grandparents, you know, people who have
some nostalgia for that. Our boss, yeah can so he's
probably absolutely going to Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:44:15):
Yeah, he'll do.

Speaker 1 (01:44:16):
I think Dougie's into it too. Okay, well, now now
you've talked me out of it. And what's their nuts
out there? That called Santa Rachel?

Speaker 2 (01:44:22):
Rachel? You've talked me out of it. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:44:24):
I was on the precipice of going, oh, that sounds
like a mildly good idea, and you talked me out
of it.

Speaker 10 (01:44:31):
I mean that's that we're not going to be around them,
walk around there just macking suck. Yeah, and then we
look wicked young. Oh my god, that's awesome. Yeah, how
you doing?

Speaker 1 (01:44:45):
So? How about if I got a funny fix it?

Speaker 3 (01:44:48):
We just hit at me, Gert.

Speaker 1 (01:44:50):
How about if I take it back to my suite,
make it sound like we're opening up a bag of pretzels.
How about that? How about you and I make the
macaroni in a pot. I brought my own astroglide.

Speaker 2 (01:45:04):
How about that you.

Speaker 1 (01:45:05):
Would make a woman who's still pretty limber for sixty five.
I'll tell you what Edna. Let mean pop that. Let's
work out them new hips. Today's the anniversary of ten
cent beer Night. Oh boy, if you've been in Cleveland
for more than five minutes, you're probably hipped to ten
cent beer Night. You know. Sally Clothing Company has a

(01:45:26):
shirt they've been selling for a long time says ten
cent Beer Night all through the month of June. By
the way, you can use the promo code BBQ if
you want to save twenty percent on your ten cent
Beer Night t shirt.

Speaker 2 (01:45:37):
In fact, on their Instagram today.

Speaker 1 (01:45:41):
I haven't seen it, but I would bet anything that
that's the shirt that they're spotlighting is the ten cent
beer Night. And you know, all a lot of old
timers in Northeast Ohio claimed to have been there. A
lot of them probably were. But if you were as
hammered as they described on ten cent beers, how would
you remember it?

Speaker 2 (01:46:00):
The Allen Cox Show on.

Speaker 18 (01:46:01):
One hundred seven w MMS.

Speaker 1 (01:46:05):
He's been called the Waste of Space before, but now
it's official.

Speaker 13 (01:46:11):
Alan coxm Bill is out, Christie is in Good Afternoon
for the Day TV t YE if you want to
follow him on social.

Speaker 1 (01:46:23):
Media or just you know, peek in and say hi,
just stop in.

Speaker 2 (01:46:26):
By over his summer sabbatical.

Speaker 23 (01:46:29):
As that crafted fest that you just did the spot for, Yeah,
I just looked up that website that looks really cool,
and I'll tell you we're just talking the break about Asheville,
North Carolina. Yeah, this area is beloved by beer brewers
like you go and Traho.

Speaker 2 (01:46:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 23 (01:46:46):
It's like when I look at this list of who's
going to be at this festival, it's like I would
put up our beer scene against almost any place.

Speaker 1 (01:46:55):
Isn't in Cleveland just top that list of breweries in
the country, like the most fourth or as it was, Yeah,
because Asheville is way into that too.

Speaker 23 (01:47:02):
I felt that, I mean I kind of was into
beer and then I kind of left beer, and then
we went on this trip to Asheville, which is a
big brewery area, and kind of back into beer again.
And it also reminds me that when I travel like
you to even you go to Chicago, go you know,
go to Nashville, go to Chicago, go to Indianapolis, go
to Pittsburgh. Food Wise, we are as good, or maybe

(01:47:23):
not as good as New York obviously, but like I'll
go out to dinner a nice restaurant in a town
like Nashville or something like.

Speaker 2 (01:47:29):
I have better meals back at home all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:47:32):
The time last time we were in La we went
to this place called Bestia, which was this hot. This
was probably a year or so ago, and it was
this new restaurant. It was in the warehouse. You know,
they're trying to get people to live in downtown La. Yeah,
And so we went to this place called Bestiea. We
got this, got lucky, got this table, and it was

(01:47:52):
just everybody's talking about this place, and it's like you
want to be seen there, and blah blah blah, and
we all want. We were a couple ends of ours
and we walked out going I've literally had better food
in Cleveland, you know, which is no shock, But you
figure someplace. It was some some chef that I had
never heard of before, but that doesn't mean anything. He'd
come from some other big restaurant, sure, And I was like, boy,

(01:48:15):
did not live up to now. You can't necessarily judge
from one meal might have been it might have been
off that night, whatever, But we were like for as
expensive as it was and as highly regarded it.

Speaker 2 (01:48:25):
I was like, Nope, that was not anything I'd ever
go back to.

Speaker 5 (01:48:28):
There.

Speaker 23 (01:48:28):
There was a time not that long ago, maybe five
years ago, or I always felt like if I wanted
to get a really there was There's been you know,
the RockA Whalens of the world and the Michael Simon's
of the world, and the Jonathan Sawyers who like you know,
the Marquee people, the Mount Rushmore of Cleve has been
around a while, but it used to be he had
kind of leave town to go get a really special meal,
a really nice good service, good food together, which is

(01:48:50):
sometimes not always always findable.

Speaker 1 (01:48:54):
But it's just like I have the.

Speaker 23 (01:48:56):
Best dieting experiences anywhere in the country right here. It's
it's sometimes you got to look at it from thirty
thousand feet feet and really reappreciate what we have.

Speaker 4 (01:49:05):
Sure, you know, whenever people are visiting, because I used
to work, I used to bartch On downtown and be like, oh,
what should we do here?

Speaker 18 (01:49:11):
And I'd always find.

Speaker 4 (01:49:11):
Myself listing off really like it was all food and beverage, Like, hey,
if you really want to kill her cocktail, go to
a B and C if you want this type of food.

Speaker 18 (01:49:19):
And like is there anything else? I'm like, oh, there's
museums and stuff, but it's exactly right.

Speaker 2 (01:49:26):
Hey, Tom, Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:49:28):
It's going on, Tom, not too much, buddy, How are you?

Speaker 1 (01:49:32):
I'm good.

Speaker 17 (01:49:33):
I like to say hello to.

Speaker 12 (01:49:34):
Christy and Mary also right, Hey, I was just calling
a Tell Mary. I love Whitney. I absolutely love her.

Speaker 3 (01:49:44):
When I do.

Speaker 12 (01:49:48):
Man, when Bill was laughing so hard at her, I
had to pull my truck over. I would laughing so hard.

Speaker 4 (01:49:54):
Well, I don't want you to question your call, and
I think so, please be safe when you drive in
and always always buckle.

Speaker 12 (01:50:00):
Up, always do But I would laughing so hard. My
wife loves or hates the show, I should say, and uh,
she's never heard you do it, and she should be
on her way home. And if you could just bring
out a little bit of Brittany tonight before you guys
sign off.

Speaker 1 (01:50:19):
Brittany really makes it move for a lot of these guys, listen,
better be careful. I think that it's I don't know,
if it calls back something in their past, maybe.

Speaker 18 (01:50:28):
Like their first crush.

Speaker 4 (01:50:29):
Maybe Britney's woman is of the Fusco you kissed, bring
feelings you didn't even know you had.

Speaker 1 (01:50:35):
Yeah, you gotta be careful. They might like Brittany more
than they like you.

Speaker 4 (01:50:38):
I've had people like text me or Jammy on Instagram
and Twitter like do a full show as Brittany, And
I'm like that that would.

Speaker 2 (01:50:43):
Be exhausted a long way.

Speaker 1 (01:50:45):
Yeah, it would be exhausting for you. Yeah.

Speaker 12 (01:50:49):
When when Bill said that he saw that Britney's voice
was sexy, I laughed so hard because I think it
is because of her. Britney's innocent and uh.

Speaker 2 (01:51:01):
People attach their own stuff to Brittany.

Speaker 12 (01:51:05):
This is what they do.

Speaker 2 (01:51:06):
They really put their own things right.

Speaker 1 (01:51:09):
She is an empty vessel which will take the shape
of whatever you pour into her.

Speaker 7 (01:51:15):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:51:16):
Well, stay safe out there, Tom, keep it between the ditches,
all right, take it time, all right, thank you. There's
Tom first time caller and what motivated him to call
for the very first.

Speaker 4 (01:51:30):
Time when he took his call Virginity. Yeah, that's what
happened this show call Virginity.

Speaker 18 (01:51:38):
That's a thing it is now.

Speaker 1 (01:51:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 17 (01:51:41):
I like first time callers. I remember we did a
show with nothing but first time callers. That was a
while ago.

Speaker 2 (01:51:47):
Yeah, we did a first time caller show. Those are
good times.

Speaker 1 (01:51:52):
Oh boy, Alan, my family is all in the car
with me right now. We're heading to the airport to
begin a long trip.

Speaker 2 (01:52:00):
Let's say, seem inappropriate, like what I don't know, but stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:52:05):
No, they said we were gonna make a long trip
to Perth, Australia. That's a long trip. That is a
long trip plus time.

Speaker 2 (01:52:16):
That's right.

Speaker 18 (01:52:16):
What's Australians kangaroos?

Speaker 1 (01:52:20):
I'm aware?

Speaker 7 (01:52:21):
Uh huh.

Speaker 2 (01:52:22):
I just want to know, like what makes them go
to Perth instead of like Sydney.

Speaker 1 (01:52:27):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:52:28):
Maybe it was a maybe they've got family and it
was a cheaper flight.

Speaker 1 (01:52:30):
I don't know. Brisbane, Brisbane they cut. Look out the
right side of the plane. You'll see the Grand Canyons,
our long.

Speaker 10 (01:52:42):
Trip to Perth, Australia.

Speaker 1 (01:52:45):
Like your mind, everybody, but you have a lot of
choices in the choice of airlines, like to thank you
for flying, not Sydney Airlines. So can I get another
Lacroix up, sir, Please talk to you, far too old,
far too underpaid, find attendant that information, wouldn't you? Can
you imagine that she talked to me like that. He's

(01:53:05):
supposed to be the pilot.

Speaker 2 (01:53:07):
He's got nineteen hours in front of us. Wait touchdown
in Perth.

Speaker 1 (01:53:11):
As always, we'd like to thank you for.

Speaker 3 (01:53:12):
Not sid me.

Speaker 2 (01:53:18):
We're crashing.

Speaker 1 (01:53:19):
Yeah, sorry, I h it got away from me there.

Speaker 13 (01:53:22):
You know what.

Speaker 2 (01:53:22):
I was more excited to do it, and then when
I did it, I realized I had nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:53:26):
I had nothing, I had nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:53:28):
No, this is something, this is nothing. You can go
back to the cockpit. We could figure this.

Speaker 1 (01:53:31):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 18 (01:53:34):
Called the cockspit when you're in there.

Speaker 2 (01:53:40):
Uh so anyway, it's uh.

Speaker 1 (01:53:44):
No it isn't, but nice. I appreciate the Hey listen,
hey r Peter.

Speaker 2 (01:53:52):
Grumpy Cat.

Speaker 1 (01:53:53):
Yes, if you know your memes and uh you know,
I am as hip as they come, so I absolutely do.
Grumpy Cat was, as I understand it, a cat with
a bit of a negative disposition.

Speaker 2 (01:54:11):
Died at seven years old. That seems young for a cat.

Speaker 18 (01:54:14):
Yeah, my cat's like five. It seems really young.

Speaker 1 (01:54:20):
So if you're familiar with the grumpy cat meme, this
is a British woman who had a cat. The cat
was actually named Tartar Sauce but became a grumpy Cat meme.
See names are amazing to me in that they're hard
to monetize, like you know you and this is The

(01:54:42):
crux of any argument about intellectual property on the Internet
is it's a photo you've taken that becomes something, but
you don't really anything for it, right, you know, you've
got to prove that it's yours and other people are
as soon as something comes out, other people are making
shirts and you've got no claim to that.

Speaker 14 (01:54:56):
What.

Speaker 1 (01:54:57):
I don't know if this woman made money. I remember
when another animal that died. I think is that Pomeranian,
the world's cutest dog, palm books and shirts and key change.
I think that lady made money that was like her.
Her income was that dog. That's gonna suck to when
you do monetize it, and that is your primary source
of income, is your stupid internet animal.

Speaker 2 (01:55:17):
And then that animal dies and legend lives on. Yeah,
but the paychecks don't.

Speaker 1 (01:55:25):
Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 (01:55:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 18 (01:55:26):
I'm pretty sure does saying the sandlot some.

Speaker 2 (01:55:32):
Babe Ruth was in the sandlote some some.

Speaker 18 (01:55:34):
Some legends ever die. I'm so disappointed in myself that
I don't know phrase that.

Speaker 1 (01:55:38):
Excuses are always there, but opportunities aren't.

Speaker 18 (01:55:41):
No, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:55:45):
What's your phrase, pound cake? The one you invented? I
think that that's all over the Internet. I didn't say
I invented it. You asked where did I get it from?
I said, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:55:54):
I just said it.

Speaker 1 (01:55:57):
Like you said, you came up with it, income I said,
I didn't get it from like a quote or anything,
like from some philosopher or something.

Speaker 18 (01:56:04):
But he said he said it to his college class
or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:56:07):
Yeah, I excuses will always be, their opportunities won't.

Speaker 17 (01:56:09):
And I had to think about like the past speaks
that I've said and advice, and that's what I came
up with.

Speaker 1 (01:56:14):
But I didn't say that.

Speaker 18 (01:56:17):
The earth is heroes get remembered, but legends never die.

Speaker 1 (01:56:23):
Heroes get remembered legends. It does sound like a movie trailer, you.

Speaker 18 (01:56:28):
Know that says that's a small actor who plays baby.

Speaker 2 (01:56:33):
In the world, Right, was small the guy that killed
everybody in that movie.

Speaker 4 (01:56:37):
Yes, okay, that's why the phrase you're killing me Smalls
was so so people had the wherewithal to scream at
him as he was killing Yes, you're killing me, and
they all said the same thing.

Speaker 18 (01:56:50):
To him too, and he would toast the mallow over
their burning body.

Speaker 1 (01:56:54):
Really, we really did that.

Speaker 2 (01:56:56):
That movie was honestly a vision of my childhood.

Speaker 18 (01:57:00):
I love because.

Speaker 1 (01:57:03):
You never seen the Sandlot. I remember it was. It
was on the shelf when I was managing the Blockbuster
at Clark and Wellington there.

Speaker 2 (01:57:10):
I uh, I never saw the Sandlot.

Speaker 1 (01:57:14):
You're you're robbing yourself up, Pere.

Speaker 2 (01:57:15):
Did you have a feeling him not? Did you very
you should?

Speaker 18 (01:57:19):
It's a classic?

Speaker 23 (01:57:19):
Did Blockbuster give you the latitude to have your own
shelf of Allen's picks? We had picks? Yeah, we would
have staff picks. Would you take it too seriously? Or
was it kind of like I just got to throw
three movies up here?

Speaker 21 (01:57:33):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:57:33):
No, we each got five, okay, and if people were interested,
because it always seemed the concept of that always seems
silly to me, because it's like that's predicated on you
knowing the person, trusting their opinion and going, oh, like
the Seinfeld episode where Elaine thinks that the guy is
recommending Vincent's picks. You know, Uh No, so I would
I would do they they would have like manager's picks.

(01:57:56):
But then there are other staff and no, I forget
the movies that were out at that time, and then
we're talking nineteen ninety.

Speaker 2 (01:58:03):
Three King maybe JFK.

Speaker 1 (01:58:07):
Maybe yeah, maybe I mean Sandlot was came out ninety three,
so we would have had it brand new on VHS.

Speaker 18 (01:58:14):
Good one.

Speaker 2 (01:58:15):
I couldn't even walk yet you fairly walking out? Are
you talking about?

Speaker 4 (01:58:21):
I missed going to have never saw the st lot,
like just going and walking around like, oh, let's go
run a movie.

Speaker 18 (01:58:26):
We don't know, we're gonna picking walk around you like,
look at all of them.

Speaker 2 (01:58:28):
Oh there's still family video family videos everywhere.

Speaker 1 (01:58:31):
It's that and maybe I'll do that just so go.

Speaker 2 (01:58:33):
Sandlot was the one with the dog in the yard. Yes, okay,
here and there to watch it.

Speaker 1 (01:58:38):
I know the small deserve to watch it.

Speaker 3 (01:58:40):
It's cute.

Speaker 1 (01:58:41):
It's not about deserve. It's that I don't want to
see kids play baseball. It's more.

Speaker 4 (01:58:47):
Yes, there's more of a storyline than kids playing basics.
You saw it when you were ten, probably I probably
watched it last summer. Okay, when it came out, I
was twenty two. So it didn't have any sway for me, then,
sure as hell did any sway for me?

Speaker 1 (01:58:59):
Now right?

Speaker 2 (01:59:00):
Care about the samon, Eric.

Speaker 1 (01:59:01):
You know it's amazing. I'm looking at it because I
don't know about it. And the cast.

Speaker 23 (01:59:04):
Usually when you have a cast of kids, making up
a baseball team for a movie twenty five years ago.

Speaker 1 (01:59:10):
Oh so and so was in it. Now nobody, there's
no name.

Speaker 18 (01:59:16):
Person in that movie is famous.

Speaker 1 (01:59:17):
Like stand by Me.

Speaker 23 (01:59:18):
It's like they all got famous in River Phoenix, who died?
And then Jerry O'Connell's you know, big name and what's
his name is on Star Trek the kid who is
the lead and stand by Me? Did you ever see
that movie?

Speaker 14 (01:59:29):
I did.

Speaker 1 (01:59:30):
I can't remember his name now that River Phoenix, he's dead.

Speaker 2 (01:59:33):
Jerry O'Connell. I always thought Jerry O'Connell was gay.

Speaker 1 (01:59:37):
No, he's married to I know, but he just has
such a flamboyant about him. I always thought he was gay.

Speaker 23 (01:59:45):
But he's in something that we are watching now, Billions
or something like and he looked wh Will Wheaton.

Speaker 18 (01:59:51):
That was it. Cory Feldman, Yeah, I mean that was
like four for four.

Speaker 1 (01:59:56):
Yeah, you know Corey Felderman asterisk but four for fourscha.

Speaker 18 (02:00:00):
Oh he did that weird song, didn't he?

Speaker 1 (02:00:02):
Who Corey on the Today Show? Yeah, you gotta go
for it. And he's the one that's trying to he's
screaming to everyone. Jackson and Michael Jackson touched me and
he's trying to do a documentary and amazingly nobody wants
to fund it.

Speaker 18 (02:00:13):
Looks like a knockoff Charlie Sheen.

Speaker 1 (02:00:15):
Well, but the fat kid in the sandlot is like
a lawyer now in La he grew up to he's
not in the business anymore. The kid redhead with the
freckles or whatever. But Dennis Leary and Karen Allen were
the parents in that mode.

Speaker 23 (02:00:24):
Really do you.

Speaker 18 (02:00:25):
Remember that this guy's uncomfortable to look at.

Speaker 1 (02:00:27):
Oh, James Earl Jones. But yeah, these are people who
were not.

Speaker 23 (02:00:30):
The kids though, right right, he was just the other
cute little kid became governor of Alabama.

Speaker 1 (02:00:34):
Yeah, it didn't begin. Yeah, went onto a huge career behind.

Speaker 7 (02:00:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:00:38):
Will Wheaton, who would pop up on Big Bang Theory,
I believe, really him self from time to time. He
was in a Star Trek remake too. I think he
was Wesley Crusher. He was in the Next Generation Yup,
which I enjoyed. That was the Jean Luc Picard iteration
of that, and I think that they're bringing that back.
But Will Wheaton's very funny on social media too. He's

(02:00:59):
very self really and yeah, Alan, I'm a forty six
year old woman. You should watch the Sandlot, right, But again,
a forty six year old woman, I mean you, that's whatever.
Do you trust her shelf is the question. I don't
know who she is, and I'm not even saying you
should trust my shelf. I gotta tell you. The movies

(02:01:22):
on Alan's Picks, they were very rarely brought up to
me to check out. So I should tell you something, right,
I was up there with the you know, twenty two
movies about Glenn Gould or whatever.

Speaker 2 (02:01:34):
I just put the stuff that I liked up there.
That's the whole idea.

Speaker 1 (02:01:37):
Yeah, so I'm a vim vender's nerd.

Speaker 18 (02:01:39):
What do you want from me to broaden your hydes
and see? Yeah, that's all mom.

Speaker 2 (02:01:44):
What's behind those saloon doors?

Speaker 1 (02:01:47):
Oh we didn't have that. We very famously didn't have that. Yeah,
Blockbuster was very and a lot of people said that
in the waning days of Blockbuster that that's what hurt
them is that they wouldn't do porn because I think
family video some adult selections. I don't know, if I
don't know, well it is called family video. I think
they might have some like Cinemax type stuff. Yeah, yeah,

(02:02:08):
I don't think that they have they don't have a backward.
There were some chains that would have a back room
that you would go into and there'd be movies about
chains and witness and yeah, all of that. Yeah, uh,
but no, we didn't. We didn't cott into the pornography.

Speaker 23 (02:02:24):
Well, you know, the famous story is that Netflix was
offered themselves to be bought by Blockbuster and they go, no, yeah, no, no, no, brick.

Speaker 1 (02:02:35):
And mortar is where it's at.

Speaker 2 (02:02:37):
Oh, I don't remember that. We could have bought it
for like forty or fifty million dollars.

Speaker 4 (02:02:40):
Did Blackbuster try to do their own like mouth service
right before they were red box issue?

Speaker 1 (02:02:46):
They did?

Speaker 17 (02:02:46):
Because I remember my my aunt got like a new TV.
It had a Blockbuster button. I was like, wow, where'd
you get this? How often do you use it? Just
like I've never touxed it. I was like, what does
it do? So I'm hitting it, I'm tapping it. Nothing's
popping up, like is it broke in? She's like, I've
never touched it, so if it's broken, it came like that.

(02:03:07):
But he's called something.

Speaker 9 (02:03:08):
Now.

Speaker 1 (02:03:08):
It used to be Blockbuster on Demand and then like
Dish TV bought it, so it's called something if you
hit that button.

Speaker 18 (02:03:13):
You guys were Blockbuster fans, not Hollywood Video.

Speaker 2 (02:03:16):
Yeah, they didn't have Hollywood Video. Where I was at,
they had a big Hollywood Video.

Speaker 4 (02:03:20):
I was like, no, okay, that was I think it's
just because that one was closer to our house, that
we always went to Hollywood Video instead of Blockbuster. And
the only reason why it sticks out in my brain
it's when I would play Crash Bandicoot and he would
get hit. The little guy would go oh, and we
would I say, oh, Hollywood Video. But I don't know
what's wow. That is an embedded memory in someone's brain.

Speaker 1 (02:03:43):
When I lived in Ohio City, there's very famously eight,
an old, empty, decrepit Hollywood video at like Lorraine and
something yeah, like twenty eight that they have tried.

Speaker 23 (02:03:52):
It's gonna be. It's empty. I bite by it all
the time, but it's still Yeah. They want to put
a McDonald's there.

Speaker 1 (02:03:57):
Right for a brief shining moment, they said they were
gonna put it McDonald's. They said it'll bring jobs, and
all the hipsters at Ohio City flipped their wigs and said, way.

Speaker 2 (02:04:05):
Don't want McDonald's.

Speaker 1 (02:04:07):
Record.

Speaker 18 (02:04:08):
There's a Wendy's right there.

Speaker 1 (02:04:09):
Well, not just that, but it's like, if they're gonna
bring jobs, put a friggin McDonald's there, right, Otherwise you'd
rather have what a blighted corner than a McDonald's.

Speaker 18 (02:04:19):
No, I'm saying like with their argument is no fast.

Speaker 1 (02:04:21):
Food, no, no, no. Their argument was we don't want
some chain in Ohio City. It's like, oh, go down
twenty fifth, bro, you know, I mean, come on, there's
a Wendy's right there.

Speaker 23 (02:04:31):
So that argument is when I moved to Tremont in
like two thousand and five, I would go to that
Hollywood video and rent movies. And I was biking by
it not that long ago, and I was thinking to myself, man,
that's like a rotary dial phone technology.

Speaker 1 (02:04:44):
Look back.

Speaker 23 (02:04:45):
Oh yeah, it's like I haven't stepped foot in a
video store, right. I mean I can't even tell you,
like because I.

Speaker 1 (02:04:51):
Think for a while those became like game game stops
or something.

Speaker 18 (02:04:56):
Game yeah, game stop, that's.

Speaker 16 (02:04:57):
What it was.

Speaker 1 (02:04:58):
But I think that might have closed, like right before
we moved to Ohio City, but it's been closed ever since.

Speaker 23 (02:05:05):
Oh yeah, I wonder now that all the video stores
are closed, Like do people still buy whips of licorice
that are two feet long, or like those tubs with
the popcorn and embedded in the bottom that you put
in the popcorn, like the things you'd buy in the
in the checkout impulse line.

Speaker 12 (02:05:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:05:19):
But I think video stores, the existing ones have become
retail wise like movie theaters in that they have tons
of food and other things there.

Speaker 2 (02:05:30):
It's like you could go grocery shopping and a family video.

Speaker 4 (02:05:32):
We like the bags of cotton candy, sure, the little
like do you know what I'm talking about? And then
they were just little puffs in they're like bite sized cotton.
Can you own need a little debbie?

Speaker 1 (02:05:43):
You know?

Speaker 23 (02:05:43):
In a lot of parts of the country, those things
have become marijuana dispensaries because it's like someone is completely
vanquished and now look what we need to be put
on street corners. It's kind of one of those things
that Ohio has tiptoed its way into it. But when
it becomes fully commercial, which is going to be just
a matter of time for recreational I would think in
all years, yeah, that will be the sort of thing

(02:06:06):
that maybe those folks who own that family video or
that Hollywood video, well, hey, let's hold We'll hold on it.

Speaker 1 (02:06:11):
You knowing that, But if those video stores close down,
they become dispensaries or wherever, they can just keep the
concession racks in there, and I let's just move the
product back there, but all the snacks will be.

Speaker 2 (02:06:21):
Up here in the front.

Speaker 18 (02:06:22):
I posted that on my Instagram story a couple of
weeks ago whenever or last week when I was in Michigan,
a family video said, like, CBD products sold here.

Speaker 1 (02:06:29):
So it's like they're already doing it.

Speaker 3 (02:06:33):
Everywhere.

Speaker 10 (02:06:34):
On our free iHeartRadio app or whatever smart device you had.

Speaker 3 (02:06:38):
Just tell me to play the Alan Cox So on
iHeartRadio they say, no, man, here's an island. What at
iHeart Cleveland? You sure get your chance to try?

Speaker 2 (02:06:50):
Hello everybody? Alan Got where did everybody go?

Speaker 3 (02:06:56):
On one hundred points of and WMMS.

Speaker 1 (02:07:00):
I bought a four pack of Humane mouse traps rob
because I was cleaning out my shed a weekend before
this last one and it was just obviously a lot
of mouse poop and there was some in the garage
as well, and so I said, well, I'm going to
buy some humane mouse traps. I have a nine year
old and there was no way I was going to
be able to get around that. If people have been

(02:07:20):
listening to this show for a long time, they might
recall how I used to dispose of mice when I
lived in Ohio City. I took a lot of heat
from a contingent of this audience when I talked about
how I would remove mice from my home when we
lived in the city for many years, I would put
glue traps down and then, because that doesn't kill them,

(02:07:43):
it just makes them stuck. And then I would seal
them up in ziploc bags and I would let nature
take its course. And to me, of course, some people
said that that was a cruel and unusual. However, I
thought that was a good way to send a message
that if you find yourself into my domicile, this is

(02:08:03):
how it's gonna end for you.

Speaker 2 (02:08:05):
He ain't getting back out. So your friend over there
you want to end up like that? Yeah, it would
be terrible if a similar fate film.

Speaker 1 (02:08:15):
Mickey and h to all you nay sayers, I said
at the time, those might stop showing up. So sure, Uh,
it is somewhat faulty logic to purport that a mouse
that is stuck and sealed up in his ziplock bag
is going to get the word back to its mouse

(02:08:35):
friends not to show up at that address. But those
might stop showing up. But of course I have a
nine year old now, and frankly, Rob, I've grown as
a person, and I said, well, I'm gonna get some
of these humane mouse traps.

Speaker 2 (02:08:49):
We know what these are. I think they in this case, these.

Speaker 1 (02:08:52):
Are green plastic cylinders and the brand is called mouse Hotel,
And I love the photo on the cover of the box.
It's kind of a mouse who looks like an eighteenth
century dandy, you know. He looks like he couldn't be
happier to get caught.

Speaker 3 (02:09:10):
In this thing.

Speaker 1 (02:09:11):
He's got a hat on and I think a monocle,
and he's got he's all decked out. It's also got
a mustache, which I guess maybe is period specific, but
highly unlikely for a mouse anyway. So it comes in
these four plastic tubes, right, and you if you aren't

(02:09:31):
familiar with these human.

Speaker 2 (02:09:32):
Mat mousetraps, what it is is you put something to
get one end.

Speaker 1 (02:09:37):
In this case, I used peanut butter, and then when
they walk in the one end, they trip this little
spring and it closes them up, doesn't kill them. It doesn't,
you know, not old school mouse traps where would snap
on them keeps them alive. But they are trapped in
this cylinder, a green plastic prison, if you will. And

(02:09:58):
so my daughter and I went out put in the shed,
put one in the garage, and I told her, I said, hey,
sometimes you really get to wait for these. I said,
we're probably gonna get one from the shed much sooner
than the garage. She bolts up, this is weekend before
this last one, because we were camping this past weekend.

Speaker 2 (02:10:13):
Last weekend put out the humane mouse traps.

Speaker 1 (02:10:17):
Sure enough, next morning she bolts up out of bed
and I said, let's go check the traps. I figured
we'd have one in the shed, and we did. I
figured we wait a little bit longer for the one
in the garage. Nope, that one was full. Two.

Speaker 2 (02:10:30):
So now I got two.

Speaker 1 (02:10:31):
So I put them on the we have like a
big table out in the back patio, and I put
them there until we could release them back into the wild.
And it was essentially started to look like my daughter
was the warden of a mouse prison. But uh, yeah,
so we get these, we get these mice and then.
But you know the thing is, then we take it

(02:10:53):
to a nearby park and we let them out. And
there's the whole thing. Thing is though, every time I
put these traps back in those spots, I'm gone. They
get more mice. Yeah, so how long am I going
to keep doing this? It's not coming to deplete the
local mouse population when you're just throwing them back, I know,
but throwing them back in a different neighborhood, it now
becomes there on their way back.

Speaker 16 (02:11:12):
I know.

Speaker 1 (02:11:13):
This is what I'm saying. This is why Alan used
to do glue traps and ziplock, right, this is what
you get for being soft.

Speaker 10 (02:11:21):
Maybe there's a compromise. Get get those bait traps. We'll
cut the bike in two.

Speaker 1 (02:11:28):
They get the bait traps, they eat the stuff, they
think they got a nice meal. They take it back
to their little nest. They kill everybody. That's what I do,
isn't it. I thought that was like for ants or something.

Speaker 2 (02:11:38):
Mice. I got that from mice. You got that from mice? Huh.

Speaker 7 (02:11:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:11:41):
I had these little bait stations at my house.

Speaker 9 (02:11:44):
Uh.

Speaker 10 (02:11:44):
You got these things in the house, they like you know,
they got like the ones we have in the kitchen here.

Speaker 1 (02:11:48):
Yeah, it's like that. They run in a little snack,
take it back to the nest. Well, they it might
take a couple of days, but it works. Well, I
was gonna say, how does that work? They take what
back to the mice and whatever they eat? Yeah, but
how does that kill the other mice? I think it's
I don't know, they.

Speaker 10 (02:12:03):
Kiss, They kissed around the other one's poop.

Speaker 2 (02:12:07):
I don't know, does it but something does it?

Speaker 21 (02:12:09):
Hey?

Speaker 1 (02:12:09):
And then the mice go back and when this's sixty nine,
the yeah it's a mouse std. I don't know about that.
And frankly, I don't know that I'm in any kind
of mindset to be killing communities of mice.

Speaker 2 (02:12:28):
And again, the.

Speaker 1 (02:12:29):
Ones these aren't in my home, right, they're just in
my shed. They're in the garage. If they're in your home,
they're in your home, I guess. But I mean, I'm
just saying the shed's way out in the back, and
you know you're gonna have mice in there. I mean
when I was sweeping out the shed, I took everything
out a couple of weekends ago, and I was sweeping it,
I was like, Holy Christ, just you know you end
up with a pile of debris and mouse poop. But

(02:12:53):
everybody would expect that, so nothing in the home, so
it's not like they're bothering anything.

Speaker 2 (02:13:00):
But there is the added step.

Speaker 1 (02:13:01):
Now I want to again, and mind you, if I
didn't have a nine year old daughter, I wouldn't be
doing any of this, right, I'd be going in there
with a diceon and sucking them up. Oh yeah, But
there's the added step of then taking them and humanely
releasing them, shaking a couple of times first back in. Yeah, Alan,

(02:13:22):
you should just take the Tom and Jerry route and
dispose of your mice with a double barrel shotgun. See
that's why I'm a sucker. You know, I'm a single
barrel shotgun man, rob and so the double barrel those
of you who are you know, responsible gun owners. You
know how you need the two barrels for the mice.
And that's to be very very difficult. If you really

(02:13:45):
wanted to send them a message, you would have given
them little cement shoes and showed them the lake.

Speaker 2 (02:13:51):
Right, Yeah, I hope this doesn't.

Speaker 1 (02:13:53):
I should get like tiny little oil drums and put
them in there and then just.

Speaker 10 (02:13:57):
Like a final scene in casino. Yeah, like did Joe
Peshi character mouse is gonna have to watch his brother
get whacked.

Speaker 1 (02:14:04):
Yeah, come on, you're next, and then you push him
into the grave. All your friends send a message, yeah,
Kevin and Ipseilani? Alan, what would that mouse sound like?
From the eighteenth century? And Hey, I'm stuck in a
glow trap. Hey mouse and selling anything?

Speaker 2 (02:14:24):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (02:14:26):
Ellen?

Speaker 2 (02:14:26):
I am pale my mice on wooden spikes and display.

Speaker 1 (02:14:29):
The bodies are on the shed with signs that say
things like thief, adulterer, and heretic.

Speaker 2 (02:14:34):
I'm telling you go an old school.

Speaker 1 (02:14:36):
It does require an extra level of difficulty, but I
love the stage.

Speaker 2 (02:14:41):
Craft walking around yelling Shane.

Speaker 1 (02:14:43):
Yeah, Bill absolutely, When those other mice show up and
they look and they see a series of mice on crucifixes.
What's the plural of crucifix? When they walk and they
see that the holy cow. I am never coming back
here again, Alan Cox, you just lost to listeners.

Speaker 2 (02:15:05):
Oh no, that's fifty percent of my audience.

Speaker 1 (02:15:09):
Whether your story is about cruelty to mice, absolutely vile,
disgusting and sickening. Yes, well, listen in a world now
where cruelty is not only officially sanctioned, but encouraged. I'm
trying to teach my child a little bit more humanely
because people are like, why do you care for their
mouse and mice in your shed? I'm like, I'm a
nine year old who's fascinated by nature, That's why, and

(02:15:31):
she wants to be an active participant in it. If
you insist on killing mice, you shoot a snaptrap that
ends their life instantly. There's absolutely no reason to prolong
your misery. Thank goodness, your daughter has some sense. My
daughter has no sense. Listen, ah, she's nine, right. No,
First of all, you're confusing the stories I was telling
from a decade ago when I was using glue traps.

(02:15:53):
I don't do that now, I said, of course, it's
because I've grown as a person. I haven't, but it
makes me sound more interesting. And by the way, don't
count on your old school traps to quote end their
life instantly. Right.

Speaker 2 (02:16:08):
If you get them in the right spot, it will.

Speaker 1 (02:16:10):
But if you've ever come across one of those old
school mouse traps where it didn't exactly if it gets
them on the neck right, yeah, and severs their spinal column, yeah,
it'll get them right away if it gets them on
the leg, you know, if they if they can juke
a little bit, right is the things coming down gets
them in the leg or anywhere or anywhere else, doesn't

(02:16:30):
kill them.

Speaker 2 (02:16:31):
Traps them that's even worse.

Speaker 10 (02:16:33):
I've seen it where like they actually get it like
in the middle, you know what I mean, And they're
just trying to move.

Speaker 1 (02:16:38):
Yeah, it's not good. Alan poisons no good. They die
in your walls, and they stink when they rot. Short term,
last thing, you take the rough with the smooth.

Speaker 2 (02:16:48):
What do you want, hey, guys?

Speaker 1 (02:16:51):
Short term? Yeah, I'm playing short term stink on two
hours of midnight in a couple of weeks.

Speaker 20 (02:16:57):
Hey, guys, full of those humane traps. Years ago, I
was using them and I put one in a drawer
because that's where a mouse kept going. I forgot I
put it in there, and about six months later I
found that trap in.

Speaker 2 (02:17:12):
There with a mouse skeleton at it.

Speaker 1 (02:17:14):
So it was pretty godm inhumane. Yeah, well that's not
a trap problem, that's a you problem. Well it's also
the traps are humane. You go and you release them
or whatever, and they're fine, and you know it. Also,
and my daughter and I noticed this, or she pointed
it out. It is also an interesting case study in
the various personalities of mice because we ended up with

(02:17:38):
these two humane traps, each with a live mouse in it,
and we're going to take it in the woods and
release them.

Speaker 2 (02:17:45):
One of the mice a day later because kept them overnight.

Speaker 1 (02:17:49):
A day later, the one mouse running around, still trying
to get out of this thing right, hasn't figured it
out yet, and they're side by side they can see
each other transparent traps.

Speaker 2 (02:17:58):
The other one curled up at one end.

Speaker 1 (02:18:00):
Not moving. It's almost resigned itself to its fate, and
you have to wonder why that is.

Speaker 10 (02:18:07):
Then you open the door and he's like own free,
and they're hanging free as the wind blows.

Speaker 1 (02:18:15):
You gotta shake it a little bit when you get
it down to the ground, because it was like it
was hanging on for grim death.

Speaker 2 (02:18:23):
Alan Rob's bait trap idea is perfect.

Speaker 9 (02:18:27):
You.

Speaker 20 (02:18:28):
Your daughter does not need to know everything you are doing.
Put those secretly around. Don't let her completely run your life.
You're gonna have mice forever later, Guys, I like that
guy's parenting tips. Don't let her completely run your life. Yes,
you know how she runs my life.

Speaker 1 (02:18:45):
When I said I'm going to get some humane traps
for these mice, and then the other end of the
spectrum is Tia, who's number three fourteen on the Blacklist.
She goes, we used to use glue traps for mice,
and then we put them in bags and take them
outside and drop bricks on them. Jesus Christ, right, wow,
and yours is but I the a hole. Wow, you
can't rob Jesus all. And your daughter's offering them a

(02:19:10):
better life in a field with other mouse friends.

Speaker 2 (02:19:14):
Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 (02:19:19):
Everybody's got their thoughts on how to do it. But again,
I like the stage craft of it. Set up a
tiny gallows or guillotine. I like to find tiny little
stocks and put them in those right head in the
middle hole, paul in each of the outer ones. And
then when people walk by, Uh, they'll notice what was

(02:19:41):
that story?

Speaker 9 (02:19:42):
Uh?

Speaker 10 (02:19:43):
The guy comes in with a little flute, plays them
out of town. FOLLII. Yeah, get some pied pipe, yeah shame, yeah,
pied peeper. Those are are only humane mouse traps if
you remember to check them. Yeah, listen, understood. I don't
know how many people are taking per that guy's story.

(02:20:07):
I can't imagine setting a trap, because if you go
to the lengths of getting traps, it's a problem you
want to solve or at least mitigate, right, and then
forget about them.

Speaker 1 (02:20:18):
I don't understand that. I mean, very next day, I'd
be like, let's go see we get a mouse. Get
this thing out of here. How busy are you that
you forget about.

Speaker 2 (02:20:26):
Especially in a drawer.

Speaker 1 (02:20:27):
You know, you never open that drawer like you've got
You've got mice in a drawer, so you go, okay,
that drawer, I'm gonna put a trap in there, and
then you don't open it for six months. You forget
about it. You must be very busy. Boy, I thought
I was busy, very busy.

Speaker 2 (02:20:44):
Ian. Have you asked the mice nicely to leave?

Speaker 1 (02:20:47):
I sure have.

Speaker 2 (02:20:48):
Oh that was don't think I didn't do that.

Speaker 1 (02:20:50):
That was my first line of defense, ask them nicely
to leave trouble as they're never there when you want them, right,
I speak to them once I get them in the trap,
I say, tell your friends, Tell your friends what you
saw here today. Tell the story electric traps. See there

(02:21:17):
you go use electric traps kills them instantly.

Speaker 2 (02:21:21):
And again.

Speaker 1 (02:21:22):
I imagine that after a very brief period of time,
my daughter will forget about these at all, and then
I'll just put one in the garage and you know,
because I don't want to getting into the house.

Speaker 2 (02:21:35):
Go from there. The shed mouse really don't care.

Speaker 1 (02:21:38):
Right, A shed is outside, It's going to be subject
to all kinds of woodland creatures. But maybe yours. Huh,
maybe yours. No, I don't know, it's my shed man. Yeah,
a little higher on the food chain. Yeah, Al, if
you build a little nuclear reactor in the shed and

(02:21:59):
let them melt down, the won't be able to live
there for hundreds of years.

Speaker 11 (02:22:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:22:03):
The thought being if I stage a mouse three mile island, right,
if there's not enough water getting into cool the reactor rods,
the fuel rods than these mice. Yeah, but then they
would take they would take that radiation wherever they went
after that, they would irradiate the immediate vicinity. It's not
terrible and I'm not looking for that. A little mini chernobyl, Yeah, Alan,

(02:22:28):
Happy belated downtown anniversary.

Speaker 2 (02:22:30):
Boy.

Speaker 1 (02:22:31):
The things that people commit to memory. Kevin and ipsel Ani,
Michigan are bureau chief there. This past Saturday was our
third anniversary down here, I believe at our new studios.
Really yeah, a fact that I've taken great pains to
try to erase from my memory.

Speaker 2 (02:22:49):
But thank you, Kevin.

Speaker 10 (02:22:50):
That would be my three year anniversary here in Cleveland,
Ohio as well.

Speaker 3 (02:22:55):
Oh, good for you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:23:03):
Yes, I went camping this weekend, Rob, How was that?

Speaker 16 (02:23:07):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (02:23:07):
It was eight days of enjoyment. Eight days.

Speaker 1 (02:23:11):
Well, we went on. I'm sorry, no, I hadn't gone
ten camping in a long time.

Speaker 2 (02:23:16):
We went. I came back early because I was on
the air today.

Speaker 1 (02:23:18):
Of course, my wife and child and brother in law
he went back to Michigan and they came back today.

Speaker 2 (02:23:25):
We went out to Kelly's Island.

Speaker 1 (02:23:26):
Last time we went, we stayed in what I didn't
realize was the one hotel on Kelly's Island. This time
we decided to get a campground there on the north
side of the island. And a Saturday was hot as ball,
So it was, you know, kind of uncomfortable, but there's
you know, you rent a golf cart and you zipping
around and my daughter made some friends. There is this
across from the state park where we had our campground.

(02:23:49):
There is kind of this general store it's called Uncle
Dick's and they, I know, they really are not capitalizing
on the the things that they could do with that
name right there, But it's Kelly's Island, and it's this
isn't put In Bay, right, people who go to Puttin.

Speaker 2 (02:24:07):
Bay, that's kind of where you go to party.

Speaker 1 (02:24:08):
I still have never been to put In By, been
to Kelly's Island a couple of times, take the ferry
over and whatever, but it is more sedate. It's more
you know, people aren't popping off over their on Kelly's Islands.
A lot of families and a lot of tent camping,
a lot of people pulling in their giant RVs and
things like that, posting up for a week. We were

(02:24:28):
just there for the weekend and legit tent camping, which
is fun. Fine, we're right there by the beach. But
there's this place called Uncle Dixon. If you've been to
Kelly's Island, you're familiar with it. And they're really not
capitalizing on what they could be doing with that named. Again,
they're trying to keep it above board. But what I
did notice is that they have a whole you know,
there's all kinds of Kelly's Island merch. Every story you

(02:24:49):
go into, they're trying to sell you Chochke's and shot
classes and whatever. Kelly's Eye's fine, But they do have
a whole series of t shirts that they're selling at
this place, say Kelly's Island keeping it Weird, and they're
in a variety of colors the same design, and again
I don't understand the design. There are so many different

(02:25:10):
ways you could go with Kelly's Island. Whatever you're trying
to kind of drill down on this particular shirt is
a taco surfing. Now, you'll see some white caps there
on the north end of the island, but you're not
gonna see any surfing, although I did see one dude
on one of those motorized wakeboards or whatever that was
pretty wild where it just looks like you're hydroplaning above

(02:25:31):
the surface of the water.

Speaker 2 (02:25:32):
That's pretty red.

Speaker 1 (02:25:34):
But the and so they have this particular shirt in
multiple colors all along the back wall, Kelly's Island keeping
it Weird with a surfing Taco fine, except on every
single one of those shirts because they use the same image.
Weird is misspelled. Oh WI E R D is how
they spelled. Of course, weird is w E I R D.

(02:25:56):
So not only are they kind of lifting a bit
from Austin, Texas. You keep Austin weird. A lot of
other cities rip that off, but Austin went the first
one to do what I think weird. It is misspelled
on every single one of those t shirts. I don't
know how many of those that they move on a
regular basis, but I was perplexed by a surfing taco

(02:26:16):
to represent the idyllic environment on the a Kelly's Island,
but also that weird on every single one.

Speaker 2 (02:26:25):
Of those shirts is misspelled.

Speaker 1 (02:26:27):
And you don't think anybody along the wad like, maybe
is there a joke We're just not privy to. If
there is, I'd love to know what it is so
I can be in on it. Yeah, sound like a douche,
And again I'm not trying to be no, No, I
was just kind of standing there looking at it as
my kid was getting some ice cream, because this is
one of these places where they have like shirts and
no you know, all like the touristy stuff, but then

(02:26:48):
they have like an ice cream case and there's snacks,
you know, things that you might need from because the
campground is right across the street, so it is one
of those general store type places. And I'm still here
looking and I'm like, that is spelled wrong on every
single one of those shirts. Alan, could you help me

(02:27:08):
promote my youth for Christ? Event Boy, this is not
somebody who listens to this program because you are zero
for two without one home Boy, I am neither a
young nor a believer in Christ.

Speaker 3 (02:27:21):
The Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 1 (02:27:23):
I'm one under twenty sevens.

Speaker 9 (02:27:26):
You know, you think this guy is gonna do one thing, Benny,
he does another thing. Then a third thing happens, and
it's a bummer because you kind of just wanting to
keep doing that middle thing.

Speaker 1 (02:27:40):
It's all very frustrating. The Allen Talk Show WMMS the
very first show that I went to when I moved
to Cleveland, Ohio. You know, I moved here to begin
at WMMS. December the sixteenth, two thousand and nine was
my very first show here, right before everybody else was
kind of I just want to get my feet wet

(02:28:02):
with the equipment and the vibe of the station and
whatever before we went on a holiday vacation. So our
last live show of this year will coincidentally be December sixteenth,
marking rob My sixteenth anniversary.

Speaker 2 (02:28:16):
Unbelievable. Nobody thought it would last.

Speaker 1 (02:28:19):
That's a lie.

Speaker 2 (02:28:20):
Everybody knew it would.

Speaker 1 (02:28:21):
Nevertheless, the very first show we went to go see
in Cleveland was Cleveland's own Bone Thugs and Harmony. My
wife is a huge fan, and it was a few
months after we came here. This probably would have been
the spring of twenty ten at the House of Blues.
I've told the story before. You might have even been
at that show. There were one hundred people on stage.

(02:28:43):
The cops came in, shut the whole thing down, arrested
flesh and bone. You know, they had warrants out, people
hiding under the DJ table, and we're up in the
balcony getting blazed with a couple of cholos, and you know,
these guys would kind of Now, over the year, I've
never had them all in one room, but over the
years I've had each and every member of Bone Thugs

(02:29:05):
and Harmony on the show, and it's always something with
these guys. I like them, I really do. But they're
kind of running on the fumes of the late nineties
and early odds. But they are still hometown heroes. They
say that their show at the Agora that's coming up
will be their last. Whoa, that's this Saturday night. If

(02:29:27):
you are going well, they say the Saturday night show
at the Agora is going to be their last show,
one last show with all the members. And that's kind
of been a sticking point for fans is these guys
would go on two hours late, or they'd stop the
show early, or they'd say it's going to be all
of us, but only two of them show up, and

(02:29:49):
so they didn't always have their mind on their money
and their money on their mind. But they're playing the
Agora on Saturday night, and they say this will be
the last time that all of the members perform together.
So if you take them at their word and you
are a Bun Thugs fan, you probably shouldn't because this
should be a huge hometown shows should be huge for them.

Speaker 2 (02:30:12):
But if you, you know, if people go to your.

Speaker 1 (02:30:15):
Shows and they don't quite know what to expect, then
you're gonna see the kind of the law of diminishing returns.
You're gonna make it back inside. No Ah, I might
have spoken too soon. So I'm dropping my older daughter
back in Michigan on the way back, which is really

(02:30:36):
not that far out of the way, so maybe maybe
maybe the probably on the way up to No, Nope,
she is taking the train into Chicago.

Speaker 2 (02:30:49):
We're gonna pick her up Friday morning.

Speaker 1 (02:30:50):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (02:30:51):
Yeah, and they'll take her back on Saturday.

Speaker 1 (02:30:54):
So it would have to be boy, if I got
back into town, i'd have to hall ass straight to
the Agora.

Speaker 2 (02:31:00):
So maybe it's Gwen's favorite.

Speaker 1 (02:31:03):
It's a good gift, you see what you're talking about
gifts yesterday, I know, but we're gonna get She's not
gonna want to do that to tell her you just
look what I got. You got your tickets to see
Bone Thugs.

Speaker 10 (02:31:15):
And if she says take them and put them with
that harmonica up you're ask then you know you made
a mistake.

Speaker 4 (02:31:20):
Yeah I know.

Speaker 2 (02:31:21):
Yeah, well we'll see anyway.

Speaker 1 (02:31:23):
Bone Thugs say that this Saturday night show at the
which will be a couple of days before the first
of the month, will be their very last show, not
just in Cleveland, but ever.

Speaker 10 (02:31:36):
But I think they would have planned that better, like
they would have had it on the first of the
month or something some month, you know what I mean,
wherever the first coincides on a date that works.

Speaker 2 (02:31:46):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:31:47):
I mean, they're probably not going to play the Agora
on a Monday.

Speaker 2 (02:31:49):
Night, but.

Speaker 10 (02:31:52):
Well maybe not this particular month. You just look for
a date that works. Were the first falls on a
Friday or Saturday, Saurday, Alan, Kevin McHale just died a
week ago.

Speaker 1 (02:32:03):
No he didn't. Kevin McHale from the Boston Stockings that. No,
he's so alive. Maybe there's another Kevin McHale who's died.
There's an actor. There was a kid from Glee named
Kevin McHale, but clearly using your context clues, I'm not
talking about that guy, but I don't even know if
he's dead.

Speaker 2 (02:32:23):
There is a Glee dude who died. McHale's very much
of that.

Speaker 1 (02:32:27):
Kevin McHale is probably seventy years old by now sixty seven.

Speaker 2 (02:32:32):
The boscher that they have of him six seven.

Speaker 10 (02:32:34):
The picture they have of him, yeah on Wikipedia, looks
like if Lurch and Paul McCartney had a child.

Speaker 2 (02:32:41):
Yeah, look you see it.

Speaker 1 (02:32:42):
That's how he looks. That's how Kevin McHale has always looked.
You know, when this guy was on the court, you'd
be like.

Speaker 2 (02:32:54):
The picture this in particular, I mean it looks just
like Paul McCartney.

Speaker 1 (02:32:58):
Oh, it's so good.

Speaker 2 (02:33:00):
You're like, hey, Kevin McHale, Why the long face? They're
the TD garden you and of the bus supported between.

Speaker 1 (02:33:25):
He was something else. So boy, nice contemporary reference.

Speaker 2 (02:33:28):
For the kids.

Speaker 1 (02:33:29):
Lurch and a basketball player they've never heard of. They go, congratulations,
we did it, Jess, you ever heard of Kevin McHale. No,
you ever heard of Lurch? Nope, surely you're familiar with
the Adams Family movies.

Speaker 2 (02:33:45):
I don't really watch movies. Here's the show Wednesday one. Well,
you actually take that back. I watch a couple of pisodes.

Speaker 10 (02:33:52):
All right, So Lurch is the driver in that show.
He works for the Adams family and he that kind
of just makes noises when he.

Speaker 18 (02:34:02):
Goes to things, the tall one that I thought he
was their butler.

Speaker 2 (02:34:07):
Well, he's multiler, he's multi talent.

Speaker 1 (02:34:10):
He's a handy man. He is the uh, he's a
he's a monster wrangler.

Speaker 2 (02:34:16):
Whatever.

Speaker 7 (02:34:18):
That's the other one? Cousin it cousin, it's covered in
hairing is the hand? Wait, who's the bald one? Faster
Fester gotcha? Which is a great name for a character.
Fantastic Fred Armison is him and Wednesday, Yeah, he is.
I don't watch that show.

Speaker 1 (02:34:33):
It's very good, is it?

Speaker 2 (02:34:34):
Yeah? I watched it with the girls.

Speaker 1 (02:34:36):
Now, Jess, is it a time thing or you just
don't like watching movies my attention span?

Speaker 2 (02:34:42):
Okay, yeah, I understand.

Speaker 7 (02:34:44):
I did watch one. Well, I watched it within like
a month. It was called Nurse Jackie on Netflix. That's
a show that was really good. I finished that super fast.
But movies, I can't. It's just the attention span.

Speaker 2 (02:34:57):
Eadie falco Is.

Speaker 1 (02:34:58):
She's been added to that show Mayor of k for
people watching that with Jeremy Renner just of course Carmelo soprano.

Speaker 2 (02:35:04):
And then her follow up is called News Jackie Christ.

Speaker 1 (02:35:07):
And she's been added to Yeah, the cast of Mayor
of Kingstown, The News and Mayor of Kingstown.

Speaker 2 (02:35:13):
Jayj's what are you doing in it? Show? Calm?

Speaker 1 (02:35:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:35:17):
All right, So attention span okay, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (02:35:20):
But but and most movies, in her defense, most movies
are way too long, Like there's no reason there should
be two hour comedies, you know.

Speaker 2 (02:35:27):
What I mean.

Speaker 10 (02:35:27):
But that doesn't affect you, like if you're watching a
show that you're into. The attention span thing doesn't happen.

Speaker 2 (02:35:32):
Okay, I take that back. You know what, I like
Hallmark movies? You all right?

Speaker 1 (02:35:38):
All right?

Speaker 2 (02:35:39):
Are you so bad? Okay?

Speaker 1 (02:35:41):
So you're like you hate watch them, or you're like
you like the gooey stuff a little bit. No, I
hate watch them because I laugh it's funny. Yeah, but
there's so many things you could hate watch. Why Hallmark
movies because the plots are so predictable. Yeah, the girl
moves back from the big city and her high school
boyfriend is there. Yeah, but isn't that like Sweet Home Alabama.
There's like a billion other movies with that exact same

(02:36:02):
plot movies because they are also predictable when you have
the heart, there's a so you have a Hallmark channel
for those. There's an entire streaming service for those. Is
there a Grand Old Hoprey Christmas you could watch We
Met in December. The more the merrier, Christmas Down Christmas

(02:36:25):
at the cat Nip Cafe.

Speaker 2 (02:36:29):
With Emily de.

Speaker 1 (02:36:30):
Chanelle, Santa's fuzzy Sack? Is that there an Alpine holiday?
Santa's fuzzy Sack that's not on there? Finding mister Christmas
Baked with Love with one of the sister Sister twins
I see that should be a movie starring Cheating Chong and.

Speaker 2 (02:36:50):
Not Baked with Love. Yes, yep, do you know who
Cheach and Chong are? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:36:56):
Alright, I watched that movie Up and Switch, Up and Smoke.
Oh yeah, still smoking. The Corsican Brothers. Nobody watched the
Corsican brother Yellow Beard.

Speaker 2 (02:37:06):
I love that movie.

Speaker 1 (02:37:08):
There's some a movie with the Party of five girl
called She's making a list, I bebe she's checking it
twice too single on the twenty fifth. This is just
their countdown to Christmas over and then of course there's
Hallmark Mystery.

Speaker 2 (02:37:24):
Oh and they're on twenty four to seven in my house.

Speaker 10 (02:37:26):
Oh yeah, oh they are always okay, oh yeah, Melissa
will watch them and then the girls will come in.

Speaker 2 (02:37:30):
What happens in this one? I'm like, what what do
you think happens?

Speaker 10 (02:37:34):
The same thing that happens at all? The vet marries
the horse trainer that eaved away for the Big City.
It's it was stop, but it is interesting.

Speaker 1 (02:37:43):
There's something there's something primal about that kind of movie
that draws people and they watch it and there's an
entire streaming service for you. This is a greeting card
company that now is shorthand for a certain kind of movie.

Speaker 2 (02:38:01):
Yeah, right, it might as well be.

Speaker 1 (02:38:03):
Like, you know, Xerox became a verb, right, It was
a brand name became a verb because it was so pervasive.
When you talk about, oh, it's one of those Hallmark
Christmas movies, people know exactly what you're talking about. They
don't think it's scrooged, they don't think it's home alone.
They know exactly what you're talking about. I remember, Doug,
she always talking about a royal Christmas crush.

Speaker 2 (02:38:22):
I can't wait.

Speaker 10 (02:38:23):
I'm gonna start watching these on October seventh when they
turn the channel.

Speaker 2 (02:38:26):
I mean, what do you out of your mind? You're
gonna watch two months of this.

Speaker 1 (02:38:29):
But she's a single mom.

Speaker 2 (02:38:31):
People love.

Speaker 10 (02:38:31):
Listen, my wife is she's married, believe, but she married
and she's got two kids. And they just sit there
and watch Hallmark movies. Wow, they're warm and fuzzy, like
Santa Sack. Santa's fuzzy Santa's fuzzy Sack.

Speaker 2 (02:38:45):
There's one where they're standing back to back with each
other and there's a Llama in between them. I don't
know what that is.

Speaker 1 (02:38:52):
We wish you a married Christmas? What are what are
the llama's lines, Allen, what is he?

Speaker 18 (02:38:58):
Good size nice Lama.

Speaker 1 (02:39:02):
So here's a clip from that. We wish you a
married Christmas. Yeah, that's a Hallmark camel Christmas. There what's
called camel toe Christmas? I forgot it was that it's
a camel not the lama. I got my clips confused.

Speaker 2 (02:39:19):
Small town Christmas. Good size nice Lama comes from what
a llama that got loose in a town?

Speaker 1 (02:39:26):
And they just talked to one of the neighbors, and
her clip was she was trying to be nice and
the neighbor was like, it's very nice, good size nice lama.
Just completely random origin stories of those things. Yeah, she
was just trying to be like a supportive neighbor. He's like, oh,
we'd see walking around good size nice llama.

Speaker 2 (02:39:47):
What else are you gonna say?

Speaker 1 (02:39:48):
Right, good size nice lama. It was a good size,
good size. Yeah. I don't really watch movies, says I
hate her already, says this text her. I mean, that's
a weird hill to die on that you don't like, Jessica,
she does like movies. Yeah. I think a lot of
people present company included. I hate to admit that my

(02:40:12):
attention span has gone to shrimp and maybe it was inevitable.
Like I said at the beginning of this year, this
is the year I'm going to read more now I did.
Whether it's nothing to write home about, nothing to brag about.
Some people you know, I literally know people who like
read like a book a week. Yeah, me too, And

(02:40:34):
in my brain, I go, first of all, I'm putting
this crap together twenty hours a day. But also I'm like,
when I read, I love it, But I'm not going
to read a book a week.

Speaker 11 (02:40:44):
No.

Speaker 2 (02:40:45):
I finished maybe four books this year.

Speaker 10 (02:40:48):
It's because you're too busy watching twenty seven hour documentaries
about countryway.

Speaker 1 (02:40:52):
I turned it on again last night and I was like,
Roth's going to be so mad that I'm watching this.
You watch would you watch, uh, the Edmund Fitzgerald goon
w Sundown?

Speaker 2 (02:41:04):
You watch that one? Finish it?

Speaker 1 (02:41:05):
Every time I talk about a docum, you care it
all about documentaries?

Speaker 2 (02:41:08):
Just oh I love them?

Speaker 1 (02:41:09):
Okay, well those are very long too, though, so when
you talk about attention span. That's why I ask every
time I mentioned every time I mentioned a documentary, Rod goes, oh,
did you finally watch the Gordon Lightfoot documentary which it's
understandable because it's short, right, it's like forty five minutes
and YouTube.

Speaker 2 (02:41:24):
Maybe wait a minute, so hold that, jes do you
know who Gordon Lightfoot is?

Speaker 3 (02:41:28):
Now?

Speaker 1 (02:41:29):
And we're moving on?

Speaker 2 (02:41:30):
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 (02:41:30):
Have you ever heard the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald?
They just had the big anniversary. You probably saw it
all over social media, even if it didn't register what
it was. Now one of his big, big songs, the
Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. And then he has a
song called Sundown. He was oh yeah, he was a
Canadian singer songwriter Okay, and died maybe a year or

(02:41:50):
so ago. Anyway, there is a documentary about him called Sundown,
and it's not very long. And every time I talk
about a documentary in watching, I watched five hours of
Billy Joel.

Speaker 2 (02:42:00):
Nhbo oh god.

Speaker 1 (02:42:02):
And I'm not even like a massive Billy Joel fan.
It's just I grew up with my mom listening to him,
and so I have an infinity. You're gonna give five
hours to Billy Joel but not five minutes to mister
Gordon Lightfoot. Well, but you.

Speaker 2 (02:42:14):
Asked me, and I always say no, So ask me again.

Speaker 1 (02:42:17):
Have you watched the Gordon Lightfoot documentary. Ac No, but
I sware I will eventually guess. Oh that sucks, I
too hate that answer?

Speaker 2 (02:42:29):
Hate it?

Speaker 6 (02:42:29):
Now?

Speaker 1 (02:42:30):
How have you not watched the rest of that? You
started it, you said, I'm about ten minutes in.

Speaker 2 (02:42:36):
Did you hate it?

Speaker 1 (02:42:37):
No? No, it's just something else crossed my field of vision,
or I had to put my nine year old to
bed or something.

Speaker 10 (02:42:45):
I mean, if it was just my opinion, if it
was just me saying it was great. But you've been
emailed numerous times from this audience telling you it's good.
I know it's all great document I'm not on the
fence about it. I just need to remember I'm watching
it and click it on. There was a whole list
of things I don't know, gave up on all of them.

(02:43:05):
Alan is Dave, a fan of Hallmark movies. Hey, you're
in good company. What do you say when the vet
marries the horse trainer? What do you say when the vet?

Speaker 2 (02:43:16):
Yeah, well you would like when you get all the
go go? How do you feel about that? I live
my life like this tomorrow, right tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (02:43:31):
Alan and Jess said, I like Hallmark movies. I swear
to god you could hear a tumbleweed roll through your studio.

Speaker 2 (02:43:36):
Well, now we're learning about Jess, that's all it is.

Speaker 1 (02:43:39):
Yes, these are little pieces of the puzzle. So when
we go, oh, you know something that if if we
so choose, locks in our brain. So the next time
we go, oh, I was sung In any new thing,
we'll call it a relationship. In any new relationship, you
have to peel back the of the onion, and that's

(02:44:01):
what we're doing. We're getting a little more insight into
who Jess is as a person, right yess? Yeah, Alan
did to see the movie called two L's One Sleigh Slay.
Stephanie says her record is one hundred and thirty one

(02:44:22):
books in a year.

Speaker 2 (02:44:23):
Oh, good ravo.

Speaker 1 (02:44:26):
Listen. I always thought of myself as a reader right
at my core, I am, but wow, nerd, I thought
that I was. I thought that I was going to
escape the whole the decimation of my attention spam and

(02:44:47):
I don't know, you know, when we go on break
for the end of the year, maybe I'll hunker down
and do some reading.

Speaker 2 (02:44:54):
But then you know what I do, I go, why,
why I'm gonna do that?

Speaker 1 (02:44:58):
Well, we're all dead in five years anyway, Like well,
who am I trying to impress?

Speaker 10 (02:45:01):
Don't set yourself up for the failure of not doing it.
You're not going to read five books.

Speaker 2 (02:45:04):
No, but you know what, you know, the older you get.

Speaker 1 (02:45:06):
At least for me, it's a matter of, like, let's
see how much information I can scram into my brain,
because listen, it's helpful for this, right. We talk about
a billion things, and the more things I have floating
around in my head, the more that I can It's
always been the case, the more that I can invariably
call them to mind if they're relevant. But the stuff
that I read, like, I don't read fiction. I read nonfiction,

(02:45:29):
so I read like biographies and I read things like that.
So I'm not reading fictional books. But I also aint
reading one hundred and thirty one in a year. She said,
that's her record. So we had one hundred year before.

Speaker 2 (02:45:44):
Oh God for you go out. Yeah, I know, gooss
that nerd oh listen, go But everybody's got their own thing.

Speaker 1 (02:45:55):
Jess isn't reading books because that requires probably more attention
span than she's got.

Speaker 2 (02:46:02):
Are you reading books? Chess?

Speaker 18 (02:46:03):
Sometimes? But I can't even get through them.

Speaker 2 (02:46:06):
Wow.

Speaker 7 (02:46:07):
My favorite movie of all time, which is what Paul
Blart Mall Cop shut is not favorite all time?

Speaker 1 (02:46:15):
Hold on, that is your of all time all time?

Speaker 11 (02:46:18):
It's not.

Speaker 1 (02:46:19):
It's no one's favorite movie a Thanksgiving movie. Thinks of
that movie.

Speaker 2 (02:46:25):
No Thanksgiving movie is planes, trains and automobiles. Have you
seen that? Mm hm, But Paul is your favorite movie?

Speaker 7 (02:46:32):
Yeah, and it's almost Thanksgiving actually, so I got to
start it. It takes place on Thanksgiving and Black Friday.
I love that movie, Paul Blart Mall Cop.

Speaker 1 (02:46:43):
That is my favorite sort of God, that's my favorite answer.

Speaker 2 (02:46:45):
Of all time.

Speaker 1 (02:46:46):
That's the greatest thing I've ever heard yours from. Now,
I'm gonna be like, bro. I knew this girl one's
whose favorite movie Blart Mall Cop right after she told
us she hated movies. It's like a story that you
tell explaining why you broke up with someone. She watched
You guys were really made for each other. I thought, dude,
her favorite movie was Paul Blart Mall Coop. Be good

(02:47:09):
to One day she said she watched Paul Blart Mallcop
and it was her favorite Thanksgiving movie. Yeah. Wow, yes, hey, listen,
no judgment. That's an amazing grab. I've never heard anybody.
I've never heard anybody even say that they like that movie,
let alone it's their favorite.

Speaker 7 (02:47:27):
Like my favorite parts were the hobo is singing on
the stage and then he falls through the window.

Speaker 1 (02:47:33):
So you're like visual comedy, you like physical comedy. I
just like that movie, Paul Blart, because didn't they make
a sequel?

Speaker 7 (02:47:39):
They did?

Speaker 1 (02:47:40):
I didn't watch it, Paul the appropriately titled Paul Blart
Mall Cop too.

Speaker 2 (02:47:46):
Oh okay, so deep in for that one cop harder?

Speaker 1 (02:47:51):
All right, Wow, good for you, Paul Blart, Mall Cop
favorite movie of all time? Man, have you seen, like, uh,
The Godfather? I mean it was a huge hit. It's
not like she's some weirdo. It was a huge hit,
hence the sequel. They shot it in Boston, Rob, No,
it's not weird that she's seen it. They shot it's
weird that it's her favorite movie. They shot it at

(02:48:13):
the Burlington Mall. Do you know where that is in Burlington, Massachusetts,
after they got denied at permit from Willowbrook Mall in
New Jersey.

Speaker 2 (02:48:21):
I've been there, bro, I've been to that mall huge times.

Speaker 1 (02:48:25):
They also shot at the south Shore Plaza in Braintree,
Massachusetts and Jeff is in Grafton, Ohio.

Speaker 15 (02:48:32):
What's going on, Jeff, I wanted to call in and
tell you my favorite movie. Okay, Sisterhood Act. The second one.

Speaker 1 (02:48:46):
Would the one Sister Act that he said, Sister Act.

Speaker 2 (02:48:51):
No, Sisterhood Act. I think it is, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (02:48:53):
It's called the Goldberg in a habit. Yes, it's Sister
Act is FA favorite movie. He doesn't know the name
of Rob's Sisterhood Act too, so not Sister Act, but
he likes the second one. I have to think second
verse same as the first when it comes to that movie.
I've never seen any of the Sister Act movies. And
you know me, Rob, I was once the president of

(02:49:17):
the Midwest chapter of the Kathy the Jimmy Fanclub. Okay,
Sister Act too, Jeff. Before I let you go, care
to make your case? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (02:49:30):
I just think it's funny.

Speaker 1 (02:49:33):
Have you seen a lot of movies?

Speaker 2 (02:49:36):
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 15 (02:49:38):
My attention span is not really there to watch movies.

Speaker 10 (02:49:41):
Yeah, what I mean, in your lifetime, have you seen
movies like for that to be at the top of
your list.

Speaker 2 (02:49:47):
I'm just I'm wondering why I'm not saying it wrong.
I'm just wondering why.

Speaker 1 (02:49:52):
I don't know why.

Speaker 2 (02:49:55):
I don't know what's your favorite movie? The Godfather?

Speaker 1 (02:49:59):
Why because it's.

Speaker 2 (02:50:00):
One of the greatest movies of all Because it's hilarious, Jeff,
And that's why it's a show.

Speaker 1 (02:50:06):
Sisterhood Act too, not Sisterhood Act.

Speaker 2 (02:50:09):
Thank you du well.

Speaker 1 (02:50:10):
Listen, Jeff and I, you know, we're probably the same
age we started watching movies on the zoa trop rob
You know, they'd put the light through it and you
just spin a little guy on a horsey and you'd
go to sleep. M You know, Variety magazine dropped the
top one hundred comedies of all time, and I haven't
gone through the exhaustive list, but I bet I can

(02:50:32):
garon f and t you that Paul Blart Mall Cop
is not on there, nor is Sisterhood Act Too. But
I always put it in context of Listen. Jess is
twenty six, so she was like ten when that movie
was out, so of course she's gonna love it. Yes,
think of the movies you loved when you were that
age now you don't usually keep them. Is your favorite movie,

(02:50:55):
but it certainly explains why you'd go, oh my god,
Paul Blart Mall Coop.

Speaker 2 (02:50:59):
Love it and you've stuck with it? Yeah? Always, it's
a double down on it. Now is it almost Thanksgiving?
Gotta watch it?

Speaker 1 (02:51:09):
I mean I only saw planes, trains, and automobiles for
the first time last year. What I know that that
is considered the gold standard of Thanksgiving movies, mostly because
there's a dearth of Thanksgiving movies. There just aren't that many, really,
but I had never seen that movie in its entirety before.

Speaker 10 (02:51:29):
That's also an amazing film aside from being a thanks
was great.

Speaker 2 (02:51:33):
It was great.

Speaker 1 (02:51:34):
Now here's what I'm gonna have to do in the
interest of transparency. I'm gonna have to rob go back
and watch Paul Blart Mall Cop and Sisterhood Acting and
Sisterhood act too. Yeah, that's right. But Variety magazine dropped
their one hundred Greatest Comedies of All Time, number one,

(02:52:00):
The Naked Gun, the first one, The First Naked Gun, Yes,
which I think is a fine pick. It's a fine pick.

Speaker 22 (02:52:10):
You know.

Speaker 1 (02:52:11):
Comedy obviously is very subjective. Bridget Jones Diary comes in
dead last at number one hundred.

Speaker 2 (02:52:18):
In fact, it even made the list.

Speaker 1 (02:52:20):
Is well, I was kind of I was I really
just kind of zeroed it in the top ten, and
I was a little surprised as some of the ones
that were in the top ten. Naked Gun was number two,
number one, rather number two was Some Like It Hot,
which is a you know, Jack Lemon Marilyn Monroe flick
from Monroe Marilyn Monroe Monroe from the fifties that not

(02:52:41):
everybody has seen. You know, a lot of cross dressing
in that film. Not for everyone, but last year and
only on New York twenty three, twenty four at Wagner College.

Speaker 10 (02:52:51):
Even manies freshman had sophomore years at Monroe College.

Speaker 2 (02:52:56):
Did you ever watched the show Tex Night on ABC
Too Close for Comfort? And he would come into the
room and address his daughter's and the guy lived.

Speaker 1 (02:53:05):
Monroe, Monroe and hear his color guy go, yeah, everybody,
my cousin's there at ESPN and Charlotte And now I
must leave you as the Brady Bunch is on, and
I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 12 (02:53:21):
Get at it.

Speaker 16 (02:53:22):
Be careful of what you say, Be careful in every way.
Be careful of what you do. Big brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

(02:53:43):
One slip and you know who you're through. Big Brother
is watching you, and will all narry. Remember Obedience paid.
And when you watch that DV screen, remember it works
both ways. You'll disappear in a wink. Unless you can

(02:54:09):
double think, you'll vanish into the blue. Big Brother is
watching you.