Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
Episodes
July 7, 2025 • 136 mins
This week on Where Should We Begin we are sharing a very special episode of What Now? with Trevor Noah. Esther joins Trevor for a heartfelt conversation about the power of friendship. As Esther reflects on her childhood and the experiences that shaped her journey, the two explore how meaningful relationships help us grow—often through our challenges, humor, and even a little friction. From unexpected places like the laundromat to d...
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June 30, 2025 • 50 mins
He's 42 and is in his first real relationship. And he's panicking. He's afraid he doesn't know how to be in a true romantic partnership. With Esther's help, he explores how his past has contributed to his fears of intimacy and abandonment.
Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a que...
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June 23, 2025 • 55 mins
Does loving him come with a price? After four months of dating, he’s asking her to cut ties with all of her exes. Is this a sign of love and commitment—or a red flag? In this episode, Esther unpacks the deeper dynamics at play: boundaries, control, trust, and the stories we tell ourselves about loyalty. Esther challenges the caller to consider what she may be giving up in the name of love—and what it might cost her in the long run....
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June 16, 2025 • 62 mins
She is a single mother by choice. She lives in a very tight knit community with very traditional values. Now that her child is almost one, she's ready to date again but doesn't know where to begin. She seeks Esther's advice on how to embrace her new identity as a mom, find a suitable partner, and how to manage the community expectations on her choices.
Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60...
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June 9, 2025 • 57 mins
She's grappling with the aftermath of a tumultuous relationship with a narcissistic partner. First, he love bombed her and made her feel special only to turn manipulative and aggressive in a time of need following her father's death. She doesn't know how to bounce back or how she will learn to trust again.
Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther....
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June 2, 2025 • 53 mins
Dating often comes with a lot of questions. Who gets to say what they want? Who gets to be chosen? Who gets to choose? Should I stay on/off the apps? How much do I share, when, and how? This week, Esther gets set up on a blind date of sorts with three people, all deeply invested in the world of modern dating, to talk through what it's like out there and how she can help them navigate IRL dates.
Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumeri...
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May 19, 2025 • 66 mins
This is a classic session, from the second season of How's Work? From day one, they’ve described their relationship as “tumultuous," but there are highs as well as lows. One is new to the work force, the other is new to this particular work place. One manages the other. And while they like each other on a personal level, they clash over their fundamentally different approaches to getting the job done.
Over the last few years, wo...
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May 12, 2025 • 53 mins
They were in love for 6 years and building a life together. They froze embryos and agreed on a timeline for getting pregnant. But when the time came, he wavered, and the relationship fell apart. Now she finds herself alone, angry, scared, and having to rethink her definition of family. She asks Esther, how she can remain hopeful when everything feels so lost?
Topic - Conflict & Polarization
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-...
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May 5, 2025 • 55 mins
This week, Esther talks to a caller who often feels let down by her friends. She longs for deeper and more meaningful relationships and worries she is perhaps expecting too much from them. Together, they explore how the emotional responses tied to her past influence her current relationships with friends and her mom.
Topic - Relationships with Family & Friends
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone ...
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April 28, 2025 • 49 mins
A mother comes to Esther for help dealing with the escalating conflicts between her husband and their teenage daughter. She's tired of being caught in the middle and blamed by both sides. Together, they explore the family dynamics and the need for both parents to take responsibility for the relational space they share.
Topic - Relationships with Family & Friends
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone ca...
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April 21, 2025 • 54 mins
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? An on-again, off-again couple in their fifties, dating in a post-divorce landscape, are struggling with different world views, priorities and sexual interests. Recognizing that their polarized dynamic takes the fun out of spending time together, Esther guides both towards less rigid perspectives.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improv...
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April 14, 2025 • 64 mins
Their relationship is on the edge. They're grappling with communication issues and the emotional scars from their past. And they're trapped. Trapped in an endless cycle of blame, defensiveness, and attack. Esther tries to help them notice their patterns of escalation and break the cycle they keep finding themselves in.
Topic - Conflict & Polarization
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to ...
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April 7, 2025 • 47 mins
"Am I too much?" is a consistent frame for a relationship that so many people come to Esther with. This week, a Southern preacher who has made a career out of tending to the needs of others wonders if she's too much or not enough in her romantic relationships. Esther guides her to explore her sense of self-worth and ask for what she needs.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They ar...
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March 31, 2025 • 50 mins
Esther talks with a young divorcée about the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband while wrestling with feelings of anger and frustration. They explore the impact of her past traumas and the difficulties in communication that have led to this strained relationship and how to evolve for the sake of her kids.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarit...
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March 24, 2025 • 64 mins
She feels abandoned by him, he feels choked by her, and their marriage is at a tipping point. They are a couple so focused on their kids that they have lost their connection and their sense of self. Despite creating a life story where family is the center of everything, they feel completely alone. Can Esther help them write a new story?
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your rela...
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March 17, 2025 • 55 mins
We all know the difference between being alive and feeling alive. The state of the world has many of us struggling with threat and uncertainty, both of which immediately constrict our imagination and our ability to face the unknown with curiosity and discovery. Join Esther Perel for a live conversation on the Vox Media Podcast Stage at South By Southwest with futurist Amy Webb and innovation expert Frederik Pferdt as they discuss h...
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March 10, 2025 • 53 mins
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? A young couple has endured a series of crises early in their marriage, from a benign brain tumor to a serious car crash to the husband’s near-fatal heart attack. Following his recovery, he’s adapting to new physical limitations, while she says the children bear the brunt of his frustrations. Esther coaches them through an honest conversation on anger, parenthood and the power of a...
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March 3, 2025 • 48 mins
Esther speaks to a woman who has been estranged from her father for almost two years for reasons she can’t quite figure out. Despite multiple attempts on her end to reconcile, she is now trying to grieve the loss of her still very much-alive father. Esther helps her unravel questions about starting her own family amidst this painful cutoff.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They a...
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February 24, 2025 • 39 mins
Esther talks with a woman who is contemplating ending her five-year long-distance relationship. She reflects on avoidant behavior, stemming from a fear of intimacy and rejection, and the complex dynamics of her family background. Esther helps her confront these deeply rooted fears, encouraging her to vocalize her needs and to realize that not everything negative is about her. The conversation opens up pathways for the woman to seek...
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February 17, 2025 • 54 mins
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? After ten years, a husband tells his wife he no longer wishes to be married. A month later, stuck in limbo, they come to Esther. She helps them have an honest conversation about their expectations, desires, and the ways in which their role as parents has left little room for intimacy.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your...
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