Enneagram and Marriage
The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.
Episodes
September 16, 2026 • 16 mins
To kick off a special Sexy September with Date Your Spouse and a whole collective of marriage voices, Christa reframes fading desire as something covered over rather than lost. Drawing on the dual control model of desire, she shows that most couples don't have a broken accelerator, they have a brake pressed to the floor by stress, resentment, routine, and feeling unseen, plus the hidden shadow layers of shame and old messages about...
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September 14, 2026 • 48 mins
Almost all of us carry a shadow around our own feelings, either we fear them, stuff them down, or let them flood a room until no one can hear each other anymore. In this warm and honest convo, Christa welcomes writer Bailey Gillespie to talk about the shadow of big emotions, and how to bring real containment and boundaries to our feelings without silencing them. Bailey and her husband navigate a rich, layered marriage: neurodiversi...
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September 9, 2026 • 36 mins
We're deep in our month on shadow work, and this one gets personal. Your shadow is the part of you that you'd rather not look at, the old reactions, fears, and wounds running beneath the surface, formed long before you ever met your spouse. And here's the catch: what we won't look at, we tend to act out, usually on the person closest to us. In this episode Christa explores how your shadow shows up in marriage, the overreaction that...
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September 7, 2026 • 46 mins
Addiction rarely stays in one person, it touches the whole family, and it casts a long shadow over marriages, parents, children, and homes. As we continue our month on shadow work, Christa welcomes Caroline Beidler, author, speaker, and Managing Editor of Recovery.com, for an honest and hopeful conversation about loving someone in recovery, with a non-shaming yet healthy boundaried stance as needed. Drawing on her new book and her ...
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September 2, 2026 • 25 mins
Serving is beautiful, but there's a shadow side to it, the point where selflessness turns into self-erasure and a person, more often a woman, slowly disappears inside their own marriage or role. In this episode, Christa gently names coercive control, the slow stripping away of a person's freedom, voice, and even their grip on reality, and how it can hide behind spiritual words and show up alongside narcissism. She reframes boundari...
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September 2, 2026 • 19 mins
Here in this (free) subscriber series episode, Christa goes deeper into how self-erasure takes root for each of the nine types in this subscriber episode released for our entire audience. For a lot of women, it started early, praised for being easy, agreeable, and self-sacrificing, until saying no felt impossible. That's not always humility. Sometimes it's a wound wearing the costume of virtue. She looks at how coercive control and...
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August 31, 2026 • 43 mins
So many this 2026 are bone-tired, pouring themselves out for everyone around them until there is nothing left, and then feeling guilty for having no energy left for the inner work they know matters, especially if they're going to have anything to bring to their spouse or familiy. In this warm and honest conversation, Christa welcomes Amy Wicks to talk about the conference she has created just for the weary, happening September 9 th...
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August 26, 2026 • 20 mins
As we have named what our spouses cannot carry for us, now we turn the corner to the best gift your marriage never knew it needed, and it is not a date night or a new technique, it is a full you. If your spouse cannot give you your worth, your aliveness, or your sense of purpose, then where do these things actually come from? Christa explores the needs that do not disappear when we stop asking our spouse to be our everything, and t...
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August 24, 2026 • 43 mins
When the kids need everything, there is often very little left over for the marriage, and yet if our family is going to make it, fighting for it is your work to do. To this end, Christa welcomes Abbey Howe, theater graduate, beloved Enneagram voice, and the mind behind memes that have made so many of us laugh and feel seen on IG and YouTube, for a real talk about marriage in the thick of the parenting years. Abbey is living this se...
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August 19, 2026 • 21 mins
As we're talking about all month, every marriage has gaps and seasons where connection runs thin or a need goes unspoken for too long. As you're learning to healthily differentiate, don't move so far away that you lose sight of the connections you DO need to have. Find where your healthy and unhealthy gaps are right here and make the healthiest move for you and your family as we learn together in this mid-week mini! Watch on YouT...
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August 17, 2026 • 33 mins
This is a special and tender episode to close our month on what our spouses can and cannot carry for us, because some things, like grief, are simply too heavy for any one person to hold alone. Christa welcomes the award-winning writer and podcaster Clarissa Moll, who produces and moderates Christianity Today's flagship news podcast, The Bulletin, and who has become one of the most trusted voices on grief and hope. In 2019, Clari...
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August 12, 2026 • 22 mins
So much of what we hand our spouse to fix is really our own inner work in disguise. In this episode, Christa turns to two of the most useful words the Enneagram gives us: your vice and your virtue. Your vice is the emotional pattern that runs the show under stress, the overused survival strategy of your type, and your virtue is the higher quality that naturally emerges as you heal and grow.
We'll walk together through all nine ty...
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August 10, 2026 • 53 mins
Christa welcomes the beloved Beatrice Chestnut, one of the most respected voices in the Enneagram world, for a rich conversation on the three centers of intelligence, the body, the heart, and the head, and how each one shapes the way we love, fight, and connect in relationships.
So much of what we wrongly ask our spouse to carry comes from the parts of ourselves we have not yet done our own work on, and Bea's teaching gives us a ...
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August 5, 2026 • 43 mins
This week Christa welcomes Linda Hannigan, 3 (3-1 pairing), an Enneagram and Marriage certified coach, gifted orator, and truth teller whose candor and artistry make her a joy to learn from. Together they continue the August question of what our spouses can and cannot carry for us, and where our deeper needs actually belong. Linda brings her signature honesty, willing to talk openly about the strengths and the tender places in her ...
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August 3, 2026 • 23 mins
So many of us have handed our spouse a job description they were never meant to fill, to notice our every need, validate our worth, provide our purpose, and keep us feeling seen, alive, and whole. And when they fall short, we feel unnoticed, disappointed, and we start to wonder if something is wrong with the marriage. In this opening series episode, Christa asks a different question: what if the problem is not your spouse, and not ...
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July 29, 2026 • 18 mins
Close partners sculpt one another by drawing out each other's ideal self, as we learn from the Michelangelo phenomenon, we find that couples who idealize each other are more likely to last and even grow into the best version the other sees in them, Christa explores how love, at its healthiest, is not blind but prescient. She also names the wise center of it all: we are not called to flatter a partner in ways that leave them feelin...
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July 27, 2026 • 19 mins
We often treat physical intimacy as something that happens only in the moment, but the body carries far more than the moment. It carries our history, our stress, and our old wounds, everything it has learned about whether it is safe to open. Drawing on Bessel van der Kolk's landmark work, The Body Keeps the Score, Christa explores how stress and trauma live not just in the mind but in the body itself, and how, when a person who has...
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July 22, 2026 • 19 mins
Here Christa turns to a different weight so many couples carry: what happens when the body is simply depleted, exhausted, touched-out, and running on empty, and sex stops feeling like connection and starts feeling like one more thing on an endless list. Going under the hood of the dual control model, she explains why exhaustion is one of the most powerful brakes on desire there is, why the depleted nervous system treats wanting as ...
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July 22, 2026 • 37 mins
Many Enneagram teachers have used the Odyssey as a way to talk through the nine types, since there are nine temptations, nine believable reasons to never make it home. Yet each island of trials offers the hero (you!) a real gift of virtue, if you can look past the trap of the very thing keeping you from home. When we instead finally face God and the open sea, when we finally humble ourselves, virtue begins. Whatever your number, wh...
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July 20, 2026 • 40 mins
Seduction inside a long marriage sounds like a contradiction, and Dr. Anna Elton is here to tell us it is anything but. In this rich conversation, Christa welcomes Dr. Elton to unpack her framework for what she calls the desire equilibrium, the idea that desire is not one thing but three: desiring yourself, desiring your partner, and letting yourself feel wanted. Most couples pour all their energy into the middle one and wonder why...
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Mark as Played
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