January 31, 2025 • 33 mins
In this episode, Ami Kozak shares his journey as a comedian, musician, and advocate for Israel. He discusses the impact of recent events on his advocacy work, the intersection of comedy and music, and his experiences with parenting. Ami reflects on societal changes, the importance of relationships, and offers advice for personal growth and fulfillment. The Karol Markowicz Show is part of the Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Podcast Network - new episodes debut every Wednesday & Friday.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hi, Welcome back to the Carol mark Wood Show on iHeartRadio.
I got two similar emails from listeners, so I wanted
to get into what they were asking. It was about
strife with family, and I'm going to read them to you.
The first one says, quote, Carol, you talk about fighting
with your family over politics. I was a Republican my
(00:26):
whole life and had two Democrat parents. They always thought
my politics were funny. They referred to me as Michael
p Heaton and we never argued. That changed in twenty
sixteen with Donald Trump. Ever since then, politics became central
to their lives and they pick fights with me all
the time. They used to be fairly against illegal immigration,
(00:47):
and now they're basically for it because Donald Trump doesn't
like it. We haven't spoken much since the November election,
and I can feel that they are so angry with me.
It really hurts to lose my parents. I'm an only
child and not yet married, so I feel very alone.
You talk about not cutting people off over politics, but
they barely speak to me, and a formal cutting off
(01:07):
wouldn't really change much except maybe give me closure. End quote.
The second email is a.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Little bit more vague.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
They write quote. Hello, enjoy your show and insight very much.
I'd like to ask a question about family betrayal. How
do you get over being betrayed by family and friends
you had no idea, that never cared about you. Thank
you end quote. It's so painful to hear stories of
family strife like this. When I was on book tour
(01:36):
for Stolen Youth, people would come up to me barely
frequently and cry about their families falling out with them
over politics. The truth is it was almost always, i
think actually one hundred percent of the time a parent
who had a child move sharply to the left and
feel that they couldn't live with their parents feeling a
different way. So to the first emailer, I would say,
(02:00):
try again with your parents. They're being incredibly childish and
maybe you need to be the parent here. I would
say to them that you don't like how they treat
you and that you won't stand for it anymore. But
remind them that politics is a means of making the
world better, or it should be. Everyone thinks they're doing
(02:20):
good and making the world a better place. They have
to be able to see that in you. It seems
like you do see it in them, even if they
are being irrational right now. If this doesn't work, then
a break from trying might be the path. Don't make
a formal declaration of cutting them off, just pull away
a bit too. Maybe they'll see the light and come
(02:41):
back to you. To the second letter writer, it's harder
to gauge what went wrong here, but you sound like
you're in a lot of pain. How do you get
over being betrayed by anyone?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Really?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Time is the obvious answer. You wait and you move on.
I would also say try not to replay it in
your mind talk about it too much. You need to heal,
and I feel like reliving it constantly stops you from
moving on. I wish you'd given more detail about what
went wrong, but it's bad that it's your family and
friends who you say betrayed you and never cared about you.
(03:15):
My last piece of advice is, if you have someone
you do trust, just one person, ask them to give
you an honest assessment. If you're seeing the picture clearly,
it's the fact that it's both family and friends who
have betrayed you that kind of struck me as maybe
is it possible that you're not seeing the full picture?
(03:35):
I think a lot of people think the answer to
family problems is just to cut them off and listen.
Sometimes it is. Sometimes there are bad people who you
need to get away from, even if you're related to them.
But that won't be because you have a difference of
opinion on something. And yes, if they betrayed you, if
they did something really terrible to you, then maybe that
(03:57):
is the cutting off moment. It sounds like that's already
happened in this case. If it's not, though, if it's
just arguments and things like that, maybe you can find
your ways back to each other. Thanks for listening. If
you think I got something wrong, or if you have
a question of your own, email me at Carol Markowitz
Show at gmail dot com. I also post an anonymous
(04:20):
form on x I'll post it today Friday, and you
can ask your question anonymously and I'll answer it on
a future show coming up next and interview with Ami
Kozak Join us after the break.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My
guest today is Ami Kozak. Amy is a comedian, musician,
content creator, podcaster, and more recently an israel Jewish advocate.
He's the host of the podcast Amy's House, and his
band is called Distant Cousins.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Hi Ami. So nice to have you on.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Thank you for having me, Carol, pleasure to be here.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
So what kind of music do you play at Distant Cousins.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
Distant Cousins is what you'd call indie folk pop. You know,
a lot of three part harmonies, and for a long
time it was pretty much in that sort of Mumford
and Sons stompy kind of fun stuff. More recently we
started We just released a new album called Out of
the Darkness, which is sort of a homage to doing
(05:25):
actual Jewish themed music, a little more religiously themed. Each
of us come have like strong Jewish roots and backgrounds
and have played in Jewish music scenes for a long time.
The band itself was a little bit outside of that
for most of our time, but we all like love
Jewish music and it's a part of us. So we
fell post October seventh, we were working on an album
(05:46):
and then turned our attention to putting out stuff that
really had a strong Jewish message and theme prayers, things
like that. So that's our most recent project.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Did you move into being more of a pro Israel
pro Jewish Advocate Post October seventh, was that the kind
of the turning point for you?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
I mean not not in terms of personally, I always
held the same views, but as far as yeah, using
my platforms to discuss such issues, yes, that was a
conscious choice. I never really spoke about other issues on
my Instagram page before because it was primarily a place
(06:25):
that I did. I used for comedy. I wasn't shy
about it. If I was on podcasts, I was happy
to discuss my opinions, But I know, I felt the
function of my social media presence was just strictly entertainment.
Post October seventh, there was such a paradigm shift in
these sort of moral confusion taking place across the world
that just doing entertainment almost felt more inappropriate than adding
(06:48):
commentary to the mix, because I was like, how can
we all just start laughing about stuff if you guys
think it's okay for Jews to die, or some people
are confused about this issue about Israel, and I felt
that we got to straighten some things out before, like
if comedy is like a reflection of a civilized society,
then in an uncivilized society, or I see the potential
(07:12):
for things to become uncivilized. You have to correct for that,
you know.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
So I mean, have you lost followers because of this
or did they kind of know where you were even before.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, it's sort of a net gain and loss. You know.
I probably lost anywhere from five to fifteen thousand over
the course of that, but I also gained a whole
community of people too, so I'm not really complaining. And
if you liked my impressions, but also, like Haramas, like work,
we're okay to not be affiliated, you know, right.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Any real life lost of friends or anything.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Not too much, but a couple of relationships, maybe some
some that stand out in particular that were Yeah, I'm
sure there's like collegial people who were. There's a few
here and there that only a few stung but not
for the most part, mostly support, mostly encouragement and all
of that, and that's been really nice. But a few
(08:10):
people that did surprise me. And it's just part of life.
I guess that people will disappoint you sometimes and take
very confusing positions on things. And that did happen a
little bit, mostly supportive and a lot of love, and
then a few, you know, disappointments.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Did you always want to be a comedian?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
You know, I'd never thought I'd actually be a comedian.
I came from the music world. I spent most of
my creative life when I started. Even growing up, music
was like the professional craftsmanship skill I was building. Comedy
was just the personality. You know. Comedy existed socially amongst
(08:49):
my friends and peers and family, and I was always
kind of like the funny friend and the class clown,
and not in a mischievous way, but like that that
I was certainly known to be funny. Professionally, there wasn't
as much of a clear path to do comedy, it was.
It was more of the outline for me through music,
where I was playing music in as a young teenager
(09:12):
and singing and writing and playing in bands. And then
I went to the Berkeley College of Music, where I
studied music to become a professional composer, producer, and player.
And there's no like option of like the school of comedy.
You could major in comedy. You learn on the streets
a little. I don't know if that's for better or worse,
(09:32):
because there's a lot of skill in comedy writing and craft,
but it's just the culture of comedy doesn't isn't as
educational overtly. You learn it more by doing it in
the streets of in the trenches. But I always looked
at comedy with like this distant like, huh, it's like
this child I was neglecting because I had these skills
of impressions and comedic ideas. But when you're in the
(09:54):
entertainment business, you're kind of like the different paths are related,
but they don't usually intersect. You know, even within music itself,
are you writing for TV? Are you writing further artistually
writing original music? And so there wasn't really an avenue
or space to like nurture the comedy until social media.
I started taking to TikTok and Instagram and YouTube and
using that as an outlet to put out and express
(10:17):
my comedic ideas and was able to build up a
audience around the comedy and then began to perform. And
you stand up about five years ago or so, having
performing as a musician for a long time, but then
go opening up the comedy lane and that it sort
of pulled me in, you know, the universal healthland.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I think it's better to learn it on the streets. Actually,
because I didn't go to school for writing, but I
became a writer, and I you know, I've been fairly
successful at it. And would you do music school again?
My college boyfriend went to Berkeley. I went to Northeastern,
so I was also in Boston. I don't know that
many like people who went to music college that would
do it again.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, because you learn doing right. It's one of those
things like comedy.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
No.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
I agree that most of the stuff I've learned is
in the streets of like the trenches of actually doing
it and working. That's just true of I think probably
any field Berkeley probably could have been half as long,
you know, like it's when you try to curriculumize things,
especially in the creative world, which I think you develop
(11:25):
by doing than sitting learning about doing is not really
going to do it. But there's you know, being Having
the Berkeley alumni community was helpful in those early days.
I don't want to discount that. And also having certain
skills that I learned at Berkeley we probably could have
learned in other places. But you build a nice foundation
of things, and I find that I'm in positions now
(11:45):
where better to have it and not need it than
need it and not have it where I've built up
a foundation of skills that was probably in like those
first two years of Berkeley helpful at a certain point. Though, Yes,
like you, you do get to this place of like
how much time can we spend talking about music and
creating versus creating and so it can be sluggish in
(12:08):
that sense, and that's the it's hard to say doing
it again or not doing it because you don't know
what you don't know and what you would have had
or not had. But yeah, you also have to de
educate yourself coming out of schools where you like try
to show off your education and your work and you
kind of lose touch with what like a sensibility. You know.
I'm grateful for the opportunity and the being able to
like having not have it to like be doing another
(12:30):
major while trying to pursue passionate you know, so at
least it was there for that. But you know, it
is true, Will I will agree that most of the
skills and craft get built on top of or post
the formal education.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, I'm trying to picture how a comedy college would
teach you how to do, you know, impressions of doctor
Becky and.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
I wouldn't really do that, but I would say that
good stand up and most good comedy timing is writing
is good writing, and writing is really something a skill
to be developed, and you know, there's workshops and things
like that. You know the best thing through this. I
don't know if there's any other way but by doing it.
But there's technique and all this kind of stuff that
(13:16):
you learn when you get into the comedy space and
meeting other comedians and you read about some of their
ideas and things. It's a very technical craft to it,
no matter what style or skills you're offering, whether it's
impressions or icing on the cake, like learning how to
craft real jokes and real material is is that element
(13:36):
of it that I think people don't realize, and it's
sort of spoken and unspoken in the comedy world, Like
good stand up is Seinfeldt is good writing. You think
someone's up there just riffing and being funny, but when
you're really writing and focusing on that, that's what makes
your material pretty fool proof and resilient in the performance space.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, you could tell.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I think with better commute, the turn of phrase really matters,
the language they use, the words, who is your favorite
person to impersonate?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Oh? I get asked this a lot. I don't know,
you know, I've had Uh. I'm grateful to the Gary
Vees and the Jordan Peterson's and the donald and all
the all the material they've given me to work with.
So I leave it to the fans usually to decide
what their favorite people like the Dave Ramsey's. I like
some of the women, like doctor Becky and Kamala because
(14:31):
it's always a nice stretch to try to take on
those challenges and I think it's fun.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
The Doctor Becky one almost doesn't fit with the other ones,
like they're all sorts of I guess. Dave Ramsey's also
not a political guy, but you just find her interesting,
right it comes through that you think that she's like
you amusing.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Sure, yeah, I mean she's a fan the the the
other U. It's you know, it's all like what the
Ola Carte algorithm feeds me, and that's that's what's my world.
So I am I'm a little I'm a comedian, I'm
politically engaged. I know a lot about the the you know,
the intellectual dark web world. And I'm also a father,
(15:11):
so like the parenting stuff comes my way. I do
take a lot of aim at like the guru culture
of the online space that's a fun place to play,
of the Tony Robbins, and just the advice culture that
is podcasting and everyone's got the most best way to
optimize your life. There's a lot of fun there with
the Simon sin X and the Gary vs. The Dave Ramsey's,
(15:32):
the people. You know, there's fun to be had in
all those places where everyone's giving their take constantly on
different things. So I like to parody that world a
lot because it's just it tickles my fancy, my brain.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
So you have four kids. I the first comment I
ever left on your page. I mean I'd been following
you for a while, but you mentioned you had four kids,
and I was like, you look like you're quite young
to have four children.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Did you get started as a teenager.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
I'm still a teenager, so I've been kind of irresponsible.
But what was the question? Did I get started as No? No,
you just kind of stay consistent. I think I started
in mid twenties, like twenty seven, twenty seven, and every
two years had that regimen. Yeah, you can get it
done efficiently, not not crazy. But I like them all
(16:21):
batched in the trenches because then like you know, you
get it, you get it all kind of over it,
you could say in a way, in a way, yeah,
I'll miss that time. It's such a good time. But
you know, it's nice when they're close to when they're
a clan of a close of a close tribe of
age group, it's it's nice.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
And the reason your child is throwing a tantrum those
are old feelings. Then my child stabbed me with a
butter knife. I said, hey, is there a better way
we could have done that? As mommy's bleeding out from.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
The next Yeah, do you do that?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Gentle parenting?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Gentle parenting?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Isn't that what it's called?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
That?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Just the why did you stab me in the neck? Parenting?
Speaker 4 (17:05):
The gentle parenting? Right. I was raised by boomers, so like,
I guess I balance it. I think it's worth making
fun of because it's fun. But I do think some
of that does really work. You do, like sympathizing with
a kid and just saying and like the things of
like yeah, I know that, like not having to challenge
(17:25):
everything a kid says unless it's like overtly disrespectful, but
just understanding that kids just want to be heard and understood,
and when you do that, it tends to you know,
disarm and like de escalate very quickly. That stuff's true
from what I've seen.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Yeah, I was born in Russia. I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Yeah, it depends on what they're doing, you know, if
I get at the right like firm, it depends on
like what the behaviors are.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Like.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I don't think there's a I don't think it's mutual exclusive.
I don't know what the gentle parenting. You have to
be specific as to what you're saying, because I think
that there's you cannot tolerate certain things and still have
your standards while de escalating and listening to a child.
You know, like there's behavioral thresholds they can't cross, there's
things they can't say, and you can say that you
(18:16):
can't say that without in different ways, you know, and
then sometimes you just lose it and pull out the
old stops and you grab a kid and say, Okay,
that's it, you're going to be here. Now, you're going
to be on you know, and you assert. I think
having a little bit of fear in trepidation of parents
in some way, there's an element of respecting those boundaries
and of authority, Like I don't think that that. I
(18:38):
think there's a generation of parents who have mistakenly lost
that the sort of fu mom culture kind of thing
is a problem. So I mean, I see both sides
of it, but I think there's value to be gained
from different I think parents taking out their own stress
on their kids, like being short tempered with their kids
because their stress is valid. And I try to catch myself, like,
(18:59):
is the reason I'm rushing this bet time? Or that
is because I have to go do something, or it's
because like this is the best way to do it,
and they have to you know what I mean, Like
what's really motivating my stress here? And you know, having
standards and not tolerating certain things is valid, and I
enforce that, but also trying to understand why kids acting
a certain way, and like I'm just interested in getting
(19:21):
past that. And it's hard when your egos involved and
you feel like you're being either maybe disrespected or something
and the kid's melting down. But you have to be
like I'm emotionally mature, so I don't have to go
like crazy here. I can be like huh.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
You know, but a lot of parents are being disrespected.
I mean, not to go too deep into the whole
parenting thing, but I see a lot. I get a
lot like my kids are, you know, thankfully, very pretty
well behaved, and I get a lot of like, how
do you, you know, discipline them?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
But it's a lot of like with my eyes. I
disciplined them with my face is really the answer here.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
And I don't think a lot of parents are kind
of enforcing that, you know, deadly eye threat anymore.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Yeah, for sure, the mom, that's it, just that's all
you need really have that.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
For the audio listeners who's giving a hard look, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Like you know, you may if you could do it
with just a gaze. Yes, they've lost a lot of that.
I do think so. But I think that you can
also risk if you just like kind of don't have
a consistency or principle and just kind of lose it
here and there and just try pure like wrath. Yeah
you might. You might might work while they're children, and
(20:31):
then it won't work at all when they're older. People.
You want to build people, I think you're trying to
build people who like respect a certain measure of authority,
but also kind of can understand and work out their
feelings and work out what's going on internally so that
they can you know, it's it's very hard, but yeah,
(20:51):
gentle parenting like trying to trying to like ask like
permission about every little thing. You know, it all can
go too far. And I'm sure and yeah, and I don't.
I don't subscribe to the least that you have to
be buddies with your children and that comes. That's the paramount.
That you have to be friends. They'll have friends. They
only have two parents, so that's a different thing.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
We're going to take a quick break and be right
back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. What do you worry about.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Once upon a time? Not much, because like there was
a normalcy bias that existed sort of up until I
want to say, COVID, and then once like COVID was
a real paradigm shift for me where I like saw
such a collapse of respect for civil liberties. And you
kind of got a glimpse in this past couple five
(21:41):
since twenty twenty of like how like you've got a
taste of why and an understanding of why Historically, you know,
civilizations and societies collapse or go dark or go bad,
and how people can turn on each other. And so
you saw that one with COVID and then post October
seventh seeing how, you know, the rise of sort of
the just thirst for anti Semitism that's dying to be quenched,
(22:05):
which I sort of didn't really see and I didn't
think was there in the early like first term Trump
and Trumped arrangement that was going on saying, oh my god,
Nazis everyone. I'm like, yeah, maybe just those guys holding
tiki torches, but they're not ascended in the culture. But
now in this post like October seventh world, you're seeing
both the far left anti semitism that has just been
(22:26):
completely you know, fuel has been poured on it, and
we always knew it was there, but it's really out
front and center. And then unfortunately, you get the sense
of the America first isolationists, far right anti semitism that's
playing with this idea of we're going to talk about
you because we're such free speech warriors that we're just
going to requestion everything like the Holocaust and start peddling
(22:47):
those nasty cartoons again. And it kind of starts in
like the culture of like what becomes sort of acceptable
in the norms and pushing that overton window. And to
see that gives you a sense that as an Orthodox
Jew you feel pretty alone. So feeling pretty alone is
like that when push comes to shove, you know, if
(23:09):
you know, there's only fifteen million Jews, and when push
comes to shove, a lot of people are perfectly fine
either supporting it, perpetuating or kind of pretending it's not there,
or looking the other way because they don't want to eh,
you know, And that that's concerning in like a world
like where what are the kids going to grow up
in and what could what could what could happen? And
what allows it to happen. It's like, it's not just
(23:31):
like terrorists that are going to hurt you, but like
people who make apologies for terrorism or pretend that it's
not motivated by what's motivated by.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Yeah, my only point of optimism on that. And I
am obviously concerned about.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
All the same things.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I'm definitely more concerned about it on the left or
just generally in the mainstream because I lived in Brooklyn
when the attacks began on Hasidic people in Borough Park
and in Williamsburg, and I watched, you know, kind of
the Jewish left. Who I was, I mean, I was
always I was always a conservative, but I was in
the reform world, completely ignore it in a way that
(24:07):
they would have never done for any other group. So
that sort of might like the violence and the actual
you know, real world consequences of that, but I am
I am growing more concerned with what you talk about,
which is, you know, the relitigating the Second World War,
Winston Churchill suddenly not a hero. All of that, I
(24:27):
think is you know, in the parlance, that not good
for Jews. But even if it has nothing to do,
you know, even if the conversation is not about Jews,
let's say about Winston Churchill, I still think it's not
good for us overall. But I would say my point
of optimism is the more I travel around America, the
less that really exists.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I think.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
I saw, you know, I was in rural Michigan for
a bunch of time, and I saw you know, churches
with pray for Israel on the on the signs. And
I met an uber driver who found out I was
Jewish in South Carolina and hugged me and said she
praised for his every night.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Just all kinds of really good.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
People, and there's so many good people even online kind
of defending us. I like to be optimistic about it,
but you know, obviously I hear you.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Yeah, I'm optimistic. I just I also am now aware
that like I was also optimistic in the first two
weeks of COVID right, I was like, they're not going
to shut things down. That doesn't happen. True, I'm an
optimist October seventh, They're not going to turn on Israel
when we've just witnessed like come us terrorist that is proudly,
(25:32):
proudly like like I was optimistic in that, well, the
people to the right of center are supportive of Israel
and supportive of the Jewish community. They see the difference
from they see the difference between civilization and barbarism. But
then you started seeing Tucker Carlson's and you know, prominent
media figures starting to turn and change that narrative and
(25:54):
build huge bases of communities that are hostile. So I
was going to say, generally, the right of center I
always found was a at least I'm Jewish on the
Jewish and Israel stuff. But then you start I was
an optimist, and I'm like, so it didn't surprise me that,
like the college campuses and across Europe, they're marching, even
though you know, like the scale and to the degree
(26:16):
within a day or so after October seventh, sh I've
seen that was disturbing. But then you start to see
it from all these different corners and you're like, geez,
that's I And so I maintained my optimism that the
majority of people are still sensible. At the same time,
it doesn't take a majority to turn things and collapse
things over. It takes a very willed, strong willed minority.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
You know.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
I think Iran, once upon a time and still is,
has a majority of you know, a moderate population that
grew up in the seventies, like you know, freer and
we're co opted by a pretty nasty minority, but powerful
and committed. So it's hard. You got to keep both
both eyes open now in a way to be on guard.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
That's one of the lessons of our history. Definitely.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
So what advice would you give to a six ten
year old Amy, Like, what would you tell yourself.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Stop fathering children out of no I It's a hard
question because you know, the sixteen year old self has
to be in that state to get to the thirty
eight year old self. Like, so it's always hard to
retroactively go back and say, you know, to give advice
(27:25):
from the position you're in now, because it won't be
true in a way. Like what's true for me now
and how I look at things and approach things has
to be arrived at through a long growth process, you know, like, oh,
don't do it this way, do it this way. It's
like well, you know, like whether it's career advice or
(27:47):
things like that, but like the focus hard work, building skills,
you know, in terms of not complaining, don't blame other
people for anything. You're the one who's ultimately account I
mean I took to that stuff pretty quickly, and there's
like really, I'm trying to think, Yeah, you know, it's
(28:10):
hard because like now I'm in a place a little
bit more where I don't kid myself on what certain
people are or aren't or what expectations to have about
like someone's competence or ability or relying on things and
not just and you're like like just being able to assess,
you know, like you're naive when you're younger. Oh, no, no,
because they they're developing this thing and it's going to
(28:31):
be a thing. Like you know, when you're in the
entertainment business, everything almost happens, and so just like keeping
your head up. And but I did keep my head
up and continued like so I'm trying to think if
there's other anything I would tell myself other than well.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
I like the idea of like there's nothing really to
tell that. You know, the sixteen year old has to
survive and do the things wrong in order to get to.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Where you are today. It's an answer, you know.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Yeah, yeah, and maybe you know, work in the summers
a little more. I don't know, I was, I was.
I missed, I missed out on some of that. It
took I was a little not fair failure to launch,
but you know, trying to figure it out sixteen year
old self, what was really stressing me of about that?
(29:23):
I mean it was hard to I couldn't even fathom
the idea of like the the way we're able to
broadcast what we do as creators now then because you
were just like right, yeah, I think I would say, like,
don't worry so much about labels. Don't let the labels
that you define as yourself like restrict you. I was
(29:45):
very into like, Okay, well I'm a bass player and
a musician. I'm not these other things, so I need
to like, like, the imposter syndrome is something I discovered
as a term, but I certainly had a lot of
depending on what I was getting into. I just didn't
know what that was called. Yea when someone when someone
find coined it and said it, I was like, that's
what that is. And I would say that that's normal,
and don't let the labels of what you tell yourself
(30:07):
as a creative identity or any identity that you're you know,
in terms of stuff you're engaging in, like restrict you.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
It's a great term.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
I also I remember hearing it and really relating like, oh, yes,
this is what this is what I've suffered through.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
I don't know, I didn't know what it was at
the time, but it's common and it's good. It's good
because it makes you kind of fight for what you
have right.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
And just you don't know anything about yourself. So keep
trying those different you know, it's important to try those
different things without when you tell yourself I'm not of
this or I'm not of that that's really what you
think other people might say about you if you try something.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, you know, well, I love this conversation.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
This has been really great, And here with your best
tip for my listeners on how they can.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Improve their lives.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Sure, I think, you know, I mean I feel tesked
with such a responsibility. You know, it's like your Peterson question,
how you can improve clean your bloody room.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
But besides that, you know, I would.
Speaker 4 (31:05):
Say, in all seriousness, like the richness and improvement in
life comes first and foremost from the fundamental important things.
Jordan Peterson says.
Speaker 5 (31:16):
Life isn't Marguerite's on the beach, you know, it's how
your wife greets you at the door.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
You know, like the day to day, every day finding
fulfillment in that in the mundane is I think more
of a better recipe for real success than focusing on
vanity metrics and random goals and accomplishments and hitting those marks,
Because if you don't enjoy the process along the way,
you're not really winning. Even if you hit particular goal,
(31:42):
it'll always underwhelm you, surprise, you feel surreal when you
perceive certain things as markers of success. When I think
the real fundamental stuff is the relationships you form, you know,
picking the right partner in life, the right spouse, focusing
on family, building a family around you. Like, those are things,
at least for me. Like at the end of the day,
(32:04):
you could lose all the other stuff, but you could
move on, but you couldn't lose the relationships and the
people and the family and the children and things like that.
I don't have illusions about the hierarchy of values. I
value all the professional stuff obviously and want it and
want to build it and build the empire. But also
beneath all that, I know that at the end of
(32:26):
the day, like who you come home to and what's
around you in an interpersonal sense, is where the real
foundation of a successful life is.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Yeah, that matters the most.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
I mean, of course, you know, because yeah, like even
having a great and important career and stuff for life
gets long after fifty and sixty and all that will
could dissipate and go away, but the other stuff can
only deepen hopefully if you work. You're right.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
I love it, he is Ami Kozak. Check out AMI's house,
follow him on all the socials.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Check out his band Distant Cousins. Thank you so much,
Amy for coming.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
On, Thanks so much for joining us on The Carol
Markowitz Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, Welcome back to the Carol mark Wood Show on iHeartRadio.
I got two similar emails from listeners, so I wanted
to get into what they were asking. It was about
strife with family, and I'm going to read them to you.
The first one says, quote, Carol, you talk about fighting
with your family over politics. I was a Republican my
(00:26):
whole life and had two Democrat parents. They always thought
my politics were funny. They referred to me as Michael
p Heaton and we never argued. That changed in twenty
sixteen with Donald Trump. Ever since then, politics became central
to their lives and they pick fights with me all
the time. They used to be fairly against illegal immigration,
(00:47):
and now they're basically for it because Donald Trump doesn't
like it. We haven't spoken much since the November election,
and I can feel that they are so angry with me.
It really hurts to lose my parents. I'm an only
child and not yet married, so I feel very alone.
You talk about not cutting people off over politics, but
they barely speak to me, and a formal cutting off
(01:07):
wouldn't really change much except maybe give me closure. End quote.
The second email is a.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Little bit more vague.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
They write quote. Hello, enjoy your show and insight very much.
I'd like to ask a question about family betrayal. How
do you get over being betrayed by family and friends
you had no idea, that never cared about you. Thank
you end quote. It's so painful to hear stories of
family strife like this. When I was on book tour
(01:36):
for Stolen Youth, people would come up to me barely
frequently and cry about their families falling out with them
over politics. The truth is it was almost always, i
think actually one hundred percent of the time a parent
who had a child move sharply to the left and
feel that they couldn't live with their parents feeling a
different way. So to the first emailer, I would say,
(02:00):
try again with your parents. They're being incredibly childish and
maybe you need to be the parent here. I would
say to them that you don't like how they treat
you and that you won't stand for it anymore. But
remind them that politics is a means of making the
world better, or it should be. Everyone thinks they're doing
(02:20):
good and making the world a better place. They have
to be able to see that in you. It seems
like you do see it in them, even if they
are being irrational right now. If this doesn't work, then
a break from trying might be the path. Don't make
a formal declaration of cutting them off, just pull away
a bit too. Maybe they'll see the light and come
(02:41):
back to you. To the second letter writer, it's harder
to gauge what went wrong here, but you sound like
you're in a lot of pain. How do you get
over being betrayed by anyone?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Really?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Time is the obvious answer. You wait and you move on.
I would also say try not to replay it in
your mind talk about it too much. You need to heal,
and I feel like reliving it constantly stops you from
moving on. I wish you'd given more detail about what
went wrong, but it's bad that it's your family and
friends who you say betrayed you and never cared about you.
(03:15):
My last piece of advice is, if you have someone
you do trust, just one person, ask them to give
you an honest assessment. If you're seeing the picture clearly,
it's the fact that it's both family and friends who
have betrayed you that kind of struck me as maybe
is it possible that you're not seeing the full picture?
(03:35):
I think a lot of people think the answer to
family problems is just to cut them off and listen.
Sometimes it is. Sometimes there are bad people who you
need to get away from, even if you're related to them.
But that won't be because you have a difference of
opinion on something. And yes, if they betrayed you, if
they did something really terrible to you, then maybe that
(03:57):
is the cutting off moment. It sounds like that's already
happened in this case. If it's not, though, if it's
just arguments and things like that, maybe you can find
your ways back to each other. Thanks for listening. If
you think I got something wrong, or if you have
a question of your own, email me at Carol Markowitz
Show at gmail dot com. I also post an anonymous
(04:20):
form on x I'll post it today Friday, and you
can ask your question anonymously and I'll answer it on
a future show coming up next and interview with Ami
Kozak Join us after the break.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio. My
guest today is Ami Kozak. Amy is a comedian, musician,
content creator, podcaster, and more recently an israel Jewish advocate.
He's the host of the podcast Amy's House, and his
band is called Distant Cousins.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Hi Ami. So nice to have you on.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Thank you for having me, Carol, pleasure to be here.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
So what kind of music do you play at Distant Cousins.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
Distant Cousins is what you'd call indie folk pop. You know,
a lot of three part harmonies, and for a long
time it was pretty much in that sort of Mumford
and Sons stompy kind of fun stuff. More recently we
started We just released a new album called Out of
the Darkness, which is sort of a homage to doing
(05:25):
actual Jewish themed music, a little more religiously themed. Each
of us come have like strong Jewish roots and backgrounds
and have played in Jewish music scenes for a long time.
The band itself was a little bit outside of that
for most of our time, but we all like love
Jewish music and it's a part of us. So we
fell post October seventh, we were working on an album
(05:46):
and then turned our attention to putting out stuff that
really had a strong Jewish message and theme prayers, things
like that. So that's our most recent project.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Did you move into being more of a pro Israel
pro Jewish Advocate Post October seventh, was that the kind
of the turning point for you?
Speaker 4 (06:04):
I mean not not in terms of personally, I always
held the same views, but as far as yeah, using
my platforms to discuss such issues, yes, that was a
conscious choice. I never really spoke about other issues on
my Instagram page before because it was primarily a place
(06:25):
that I did. I used for comedy. I wasn't shy
about it. If I was on podcasts, I was happy
to discuss my opinions, But I know, I felt the
function of my social media presence was just strictly entertainment.
Post October seventh, there was such a paradigm shift in
these sort of moral confusion taking place across the world
that just doing entertainment almost felt more inappropriate than adding
(06:48):
commentary to the mix, because I was like, how can
we all just start laughing about stuff if you guys
think it's okay for Jews to die, or some people
are confused about this issue about Israel, and I felt
that we got to straighten some things out before, like
if comedy is like a reflection of a civilized society,
then in an uncivilized society, or I see the potential
(07:12):
for things to become uncivilized. You have to correct for that,
you know.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
So I mean, have you lost followers because of this
or did they kind of know where you were even before.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yeah, it's sort of a net gain and loss. You know.
I probably lost anywhere from five to fifteen thousand over
the course of that, but I also gained a whole
community of people too, so I'm not really complaining. And
if you liked my impressions, but also, like Haramas, like work,
we're okay to not be affiliated, you know, right.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Any real life lost of friends or anything.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Not too much, but a couple of relationships, maybe some
some that stand out in particular that were Yeah, I'm
sure there's like collegial people who were. There's a few
here and there that only a few stung but not
for the most part, mostly support, mostly encouragement and all
of that, and that's been really nice. But a few
(08:10):
people that did surprise me. And it's just part of life.
I guess that people will disappoint you sometimes and take
very confusing positions on things. And that did happen a
little bit, mostly supportive and a lot of love, and
then a few, you know, disappointments.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Did you always want to be a comedian?
Speaker 4 (08:28):
You know, I'd never thought I'd actually be a comedian.
I came from the music world. I spent most of
my creative life when I started. Even growing up, music
was like the professional craftsmanship skill I was building. Comedy
was just the personality. You know. Comedy existed socially amongst
(08:49):
my friends and peers and family, and I was always
kind of like the funny friend and the class clown,
and not in a mischievous way, but like that that
I was certainly known to be funny. Professionally, there wasn't
as much of a clear path to do comedy, it was.
It was more of the outline for me through music,
where I was playing music in as a young teenager
(09:12):
and singing and writing and playing in bands. And then
I went to the Berkeley College of Music, where I
studied music to become a professional composer, producer, and player.
And there's no like option of like the school of comedy.
You could major in comedy. You learn on the streets
a little. I don't know if that's for better or worse,
(09:32):
because there's a lot of skill in comedy writing and craft,
but it's just the culture of comedy doesn't isn't as
educational overtly. You learn it more by doing it in
the streets of in the trenches. But I always looked
at comedy with like this distant like, huh, it's like
this child I was neglecting because I had these skills
of impressions and comedic ideas. But when you're in the
(09:54):
entertainment business, you're kind of like the different paths are related,
but they don't usually intersect. You know, even within music itself,
are you writing for TV? Are you writing further artistually
writing original music? And so there wasn't really an avenue
or space to like nurture the comedy until social media.
I started taking to TikTok and Instagram and YouTube and
using that as an outlet to put out and express
(10:17):
my comedic ideas and was able to build up a
audience around the comedy and then began to perform. And
you stand up about five years ago or so, having
performing as a musician for a long time, but then
go opening up the comedy lane and that it sort
of pulled me in, you know, the universal healthland.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I think it's better to learn it on the streets. Actually,
because I didn't go to school for writing, but I
became a writer, and I you know, I've been fairly
successful at it. And would you do music school again?
My college boyfriend went to Berkeley. I went to Northeastern,
so I was also in Boston. I don't know that
many like people who went to music college that would
do it again.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, because you learn doing right. It's one of those
things like comedy.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
No.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
I agree that most of the stuff I've learned is
in the streets of like the trenches of actually doing
it and working. That's just true of I think probably
any field Berkeley probably could have been half as long,
you know, like it's when you try to curriculumize things,
especially in the creative world, which I think you develop
(11:25):
by doing than sitting learning about doing is not really
going to do it. But there's you know, being Having
the Berkeley alumni community was helpful in those early days.
I don't want to discount that. And also having certain
skills that I learned at Berkeley we probably could have
learned in other places. But you build a nice foundation
of things, and I find that I'm in positions now
(11:45):
where better to have it and not need it than
need it and not have it where I've built up
a foundation of skills that was probably in like those
first two years of Berkeley helpful at a certain point. Though, Yes,
like you, you do get to this place of like
how much time can we spend talking about music and
creating versus creating and so it can be sluggish in
(12:08):
that sense, and that's the it's hard to say doing
it again or not doing it because you don't know
what you don't know and what you would have had
or not had. But yeah, you also have to de
educate yourself coming out of schools where you like try
to show off your education and your work and you
kind of lose touch with what like a sensibility. You know.
I'm grateful for the opportunity and the being able to
like having not have it to like be doing another
(12:30):
major while trying to pursue passionate you know, so at
least it was there for that. But you know, it
is true, Will I will agree that most of the
skills and craft get built on top of or post
the formal education.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, I'm trying to picture how a comedy college would
teach you how to do, you know, impressions of doctor
Becky and.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
I wouldn't really do that, but I would say that
good stand up and most good comedy timing is writing
is good writing, and writing is really something a skill
to be developed, and you know, there's workshops and things
like that. You know the best thing through this. I
don't know if there's any other way but by doing it.
But there's technique and all this kind of stuff that
(13:16):
you learn when you get into the comedy space and
meeting other comedians and you read about some of their
ideas and things. It's a very technical craft to it,
no matter what style or skills you're offering, whether it's
impressions or icing on the cake, like learning how to
craft real jokes and real material is is that element
(13:36):
of it that I think people don't realize, and it's
sort of spoken and unspoken in the comedy world, Like
good stand up is Seinfeldt is good writing. You think
someone's up there just riffing and being funny, but when
you're really writing and focusing on that, that's what makes
your material pretty fool proof and resilient in the performance space.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Yeah, you could tell.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I think with better commute, the turn of phrase really matters,
the language they use, the words, who is your favorite
person to impersonate?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
Oh? I get asked this a lot. I don't know,
you know, I've had Uh. I'm grateful to the Gary
Vees and the Jordan Peterson's and the donald and all
the all the material they've given me to work with.
So I leave it to the fans usually to decide
what their favorite people like the Dave Ramsey's. I like
some of the women, like doctor Becky and Kamala because
(14:31):
it's always a nice stretch to try to take on
those challenges and I think it's fun.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
The Doctor Becky one almost doesn't fit with the other ones,
like they're all sorts of I guess. Dave Ramsey's also
not a political guy, but you just find her interesting,
right it comes through that you think that she's like
you amusing.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Sure, yeah, I mean she's a fan the the the
other U. It's you know, it's all like what the
Ola Carte algorithm feeds me, and that's that's what's my world.
So I am I'm a little I'm a comedian, I'm
politically engaged. I know a lot about the the you know,
the intellectual dark web world. And I'm also a father,
(15:11):
so like the parenting stuff comes my way. I do
take a lot of aim at like the guru culture
of the online space that's a fun place to play,
of the Tony Robbins, and just the advice culture that
is podcasting and everyone's got the most best way to
optimize your life. There's a lot of fun there with
the Simon sin X and the Gary vs. The Dave Ramsey's,
(15:32):
the people. You know, there's fun to be had in
all those places where everyone's giving their take constantly on
different things. So I like to parody that world a
lot because it's just it tickles my fancy, my brain.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
So you have four kids. I the first comment I
ever left on your page. I mean I'd been following
you for a while, but you mentioned you had four kids,
and I was like, you look like you're quite young
to have four children.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Did you get started as a teenager.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
I'm still a teenager, so I've been kind of irresponsible.
But what was the question? Did I get started as No? No,
you just kind of stay consistent. I think I started
in mid twenties, like twenty seven, twenty seven, and every
two years had that regimen. Yeah, you can get it
done efficiently, not not crazy. But I like them all
(16:21):
batched in the trenches because then like you know, you
get it, you get it all kind of over it,
you could say in a way, in a way, yeah,
I'll miss that time. It's such a good time. But
you know, it's nice when they're close to when they're
a clan of a close of a close tribe of
age group, it's it's nice.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
And the reason your child is throwing a tantrum those
are old feelings. Then my child stabbed me with a
butter knife. I said, hey, is there a better way
we could have done that? As mommy's bleeding out from.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
The next Yeah, do you do that?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Gentle parenting?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Gentle parenting?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Isn't that what it's called?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
That?
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Just the why did you stab me in the neck? Parenting?
Speaker 4 (17:05):
The gentle parenting? Right. I was raised by boomers, so like,
I guess I balance it. I think it's worth making
fun of because it's fun. But I do think some
of that does really work. You do, like sympathizing with
a kid and just saying and like the things of
like yeah, I know that, like not having to challenge
(17:25):
everything a kid says unless it's like overtly disrespectful, but
just understanding that kids just want to be heard and understood,
and when you do that, it tends to you know,
disarm and like de escalate very quickly. That stuff's true
from what I've seen.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Yeah, I was born in Russia. I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Yeah, it depends on what they're doing, you know, if
I get at the right like firm, it depends on
like what the behaviors are.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Like.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
I don't think there's a I don't think it's mutual exclusive.
I don't know what the gentle parenting. You have to
be specific as to what you're saying, because I think
that there's you cannot tolerate certain things and still have
your standards while de escalating and listening to a child.
You know, like there's behavioral thresholds they can't cross, there's
things they can't say, and you can say that you
(18:16):
can't say that without in different ways, you know, and
then sometimes you just lose it and pull out the
old stops and you grab a kid and say, Okay,
that's it, you're going to be here. Now, you're going
to be on you know, and you assert. I think
having a little bit of fear in trepidation of parents
in some way, there's an element of respecting those boundaries
and of authority, Like I don't think that that. I
(18:38):
think there's a generation of parents who have mistakenly lost
that the sort of fu mom culture kind of thing
is a problem. So I mean, I see both sides
of it, but I think there's value to be gained
from different I think parents taking out their own stress
on their kids, like being short tempered with their kids
because their stress is valid. And I try to catch myself, like,
(18:59):
is the reason I'm rushing this bet time? Or that
is because I have to go do something, or it's
because like this is the best way to do it,
and they have to you know what I mean, Like
what's really motivating my stress here? And you know, having
standards and not tolerating certain things is valid, and I
enforce that, but also trying to understand why kids acting
a certain way, and like I'm just interested in getting
(19:21):
past that. And it's hard when your egos involved and
you feel like you're being either maybe disrespected or something
and the kid's melting down. But you have to be
like I'm emotionally mature, so I don't have to go
like crazy here. I can be like huh.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
You know, but a lot of parents are being disrespected.
I mean, not to go too deep into the whole
parenting thing, but I see a lot. I get a
lot like my kids are, you know, thankfully, very pretty
well behaved, and I get a lot of like, how
do you, you know, discipline them?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
But it's a lot of like with my eyes. I
disciplined them with my face is really the answer here.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
And I don't think a lot of parents are kind
of enforcing that, you know, deadly eye threat anymore.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Yeah, for sure, the mom, that's it, just that's all
you need really have that.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
For the audio listeners who's giving a hard look, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (20:10):
Like you know, you may if you could do it
with just a gaze. Yes, they've lost a lot of that.
I do think so. But I think that you can
also risk if you just like kind of don't have
a consistency or principle and just kind of lose it
here and there and just try pure like wrath. Yeah
you might. You might might work while they're children, and
(20:31):
then it won't work at all when they're older. People.
You want to build people, I think you're trying to
build people who like respect a certain measure of authority,
but also kind of can understand and work out their
feelings and work out what's going on internally so that
they can you know, it's it's very hard, but yeah,
(20:51):
gentle parenting like trying to trying to like ask like
permission about every little thing. You know, it all can
go too far. And I'm sure and yeah, and I don't.
I don't subscribe to the least that you have to
be buddies with your children and that comes. That's the paramount.
That you have to be friends. They'll have friends. They
only have two parents, so that's a different thing.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
We're going to take a quick break and be right
back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. What do you worry about.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Once upon a time? Not much, because like there was
a normalcy bias that existed sort of up until I
want to say, COVID, and then once like COVID was
a real paradigm shift for me where I like saw
such a collapse of respect for civil liberties. And you
kind of got a glimpse in this past couple five
(21:41):
since twenty twenty of like how like you've got a
taste of why and an understanding of why Historically, you know,
civilizations and societies collapse or go dark or go bad,
and how people can turn on each other. And so
you saw that one with COVID and then post October
seventh seeing how, you know, the rise of sort of
the just thirst for anti Semitism that's dying to be quenched,
(22:05):
which I sort of didn't really see and I didn't
think was there in the early like first term Trump
and Trumped arrangement that was going on saying, oh my god,
Nazis everyone. I'm like, yeah, maybe just those guys holding
tiki torches, but they're not ascended in the culture. But
now in this post like October seventh world, you're seeing
both the far left anti semitism that has just been
(22:26):
completely you know, fuel has been poured on it, and
we always knew it was there, but it's really out
front and center. And then unfortunately, you get the sense
of the America first isolationists, far right anti semitism that's
playing with this idea of we're going to talk about
you because we're such free speech warriors that we're just
going to requestion everything like the Holocaust and start peddling
(22:47):
those nasty cartoons again. And it kind of starts in
like the culture of like what becomes sort of acceptable
in the norms and pushing that overton window. And to
see that gives you a sense that as an Orthodox
Jew you feel pretty alone. So feeling pretty alone is
like that when push comes to shove, you know, if
(23:09):
you know, there's only fifteen million Jews, and when push
comes to shove, a lot of people are perfectly fine
either supporting it, perpetuating or kind of pretending it's not there,
or looking the other way because they don't want to eh,
you know, And that that's concerning in like a world
like where what are the kids going to grow up
in and what could what could what could happen? And
what allows it to happen. It's like, it's not just
(23:31):
like terrorists that are going to hurt you, but like
people who make apologies for terrorism or pretend that it's
not motivated by what's motivated by.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Yeah, my only point of optimism on that. And I
am obviously concerned about.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
All the same things.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I'm definitely more concerned about it on the left or
just generally in the mainstream because I lived in Brooklyn
when the attacks began on Hasidic people in Borough Park
and in Williamsburg, and I watched, you know, kind of
the Jewish left. Who I was, I mean, I was
always I was always a conservative, but I was in
the reform world, completely ignore it in a way that
(24:07):
they would have never done for any other group. So
that sort of might like the violence and the actual
you know, real world consequences of that, but I am
I am growing more concerned with what you talk about,
which is, you know, the relitigating the Second World War,
Winston Churchill suddenly not a hero. All of that, I
(24:27):
think is you know, in the parlance, that not good
for Jews. But even if it has nothing to do,
you know, even if the conversation is not about Jews,
let's say about Winston Churchill, I still think it's not
good for us overall. But I would say my point
of optimism is the more I travel around America, the
less that really exists.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I think.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
I saw, you know, I was in rural Michigan for
a bunch of time, and I saw you know, churches
with pray for Israel on the on the signs. And
I met an uber driver who found out I was
Jewish in South Carolina and hugged me and said she
praised for his every night.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Just all kinds of really good.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
People, and there's so many good people even online kind
of defending us. I like to be optimistic about it,
but you know, obviously I hear you.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Yeah, I'm optimistic. I just I also am now aware
that like I was also optimistic in the first two
weeks of COVID right, I was like, they're not going
to shut things down. That doesn't happen. True, I'm an
optimist October seventh, They're not going to turn on Israel
when we've just witnessed like come us terrorist that is proudly,
(25:32):
proudly like like I was optimistic in that, well, the
people to the right of center are supportive of Israel
and supportive of the Jewish community. They see the difference
from they see the difference between civilization and barbarism. But
then you started seeing Tucker Carlson's and you know, prominent
media figures starting to turn and change that narrative and
(25:54):
build huge bases of communities that are hostile. So I
was going to say, generally, the right of center I
always found was a at least I'm Jewish on the
Jewish and Israel stuff. But then you start I was
an optimist, and I'm like, so it didn't surprise me that,
like the college campuses and across Europe, they're marching, even
though you know, like the scale and to the degree
(26:16):
within a day or so after October seventh, sh I've
seen that was disturbing. But then you start to see
it from all these different corners and you're like, geez,
that's I And so I maintained my optimism that the
majority of people are still sensible. At the same time,
it doesn't take a majority to turn things and collapse
things over. It takes a very willed, strong willed minority.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
You know.
Speaker 4 (26:35):
I think Iran, once upon a time and still is,
has a majority of you know, a moderate population that
grew up in the seventies, like you know, freer and
we're co opted by a pretty nasty minority, but powerful
and committed. So it's hard. You got to keep both
both eyes open now in a way to be on guard.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
That's one of the lessons of our history. Definitely.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
So what advice would you give to a six ten
year old Amy, Like, what would you tell yourself.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
Stop fathering children out of no I It's a hard
question because you know, the sixteen year old self has
to be in that state to get to the thirty
eight year old self. Like, so it's always hard to
retroactively go back and say, you know, to give advice
(27:25):
from the position you're in now, because it won't be
true in a way. Like what's true for me now
and how I look at things and approach things has
to be arrived at through a long growth process, you know, like, oh,
don't do it this way, do it this way. It's
like well, you know, like whether it's career advice or
(27:47):
things like that, but like the focus hard work, building skills,
you know, in terms of not complaining, don't blame other
people for anything. You're the one who's ultimately account I
mean I took to that stuff pretty quickly, and there's
like really, I'm trying to think, Yeah, you know, it's
(28:10):
hard because like now I'm in a place a little
bit more where I don't kid myself on what certain
people are or aren't or what expectations to have about
like someone's competence or ability or relying on things and
not just and you're like like just being able to assess,
you know, like you're naive when you're younger. Oh, no, no,
because they they're developing this thing and it's going to
(28:31):
be a thing. Like you know, when you're in the
entertainment business, everything almost happens, and so just like keeping
your head up. And but I did keep my head
up and continued like so I'm trying to think if
there's other anything I would tell myself other than well.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
I like the idea of like there's nothing really to
tell that. You know, the sixteen year old has to
survive and do the things wrong in order to get to.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Where you are today. It's an answer, you know.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
Yeah, yeah, and maybe you know, work in the summers
a little more. I don't know, I was, I was.
I missed, I missed out on some of that. It
took I was a little not fair failure to launch,
but you know, trying to figure it out sixteen year
old self, what was really stressing me of about that?
(29:23):
I mean it was hard to I couldn't even fathom
the idea of like the the way we're able to
broadcast what we do as creators now then because you
were just like right, yeah, I think I would say, like,
don't worry so much about labels. Don't let the labels
that you define as yourself like restrict you. I was
(29:45):
very into like, Okay, well I'm a bass player and
a musician. I'm not these other things, so I need
to like, like, the imposter syndrome is something I discovered
as a term, but I certainly had a lot of
depending on what I was getting into. I just didn't
know what that was called. Yea when someone when someone
find coined it and said it, I was like, that's
what that is. And I would say that that's normal,
and don't let the labels of what you tell yourself
(30:07):
as a creative identity or any identity that you're you know,
in terms of stuff you're engaging in, like restrict you.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
It's a great term.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
I also I remember hearing it and really relating like, oh, yes,
this is what this is what I've suffered through.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
I don't know, I didn't know what it was at
the time, but it's common and it's good. It's good
because it makes you kind of fight for what you
have right.
Speaker 4 (30:28):
And just you don't know anything about yourself. So keep
trying those different you know, it's important to try those
different things without when you tell yourself I'm not of
this or I'm not of that that's really what you
think other people might say about you if you try something.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, you know, well, I love this conversation.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
This has been really great, And here with your best
tip for my listeners on how they can.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Improve their lives.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
Sure, I think, you know, I mean I feel tesked
with such a responsibility. You know, it's like your Peterson question,
how you can improve clean your bloody room.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
But besides that, you know, I would.
Speaker 4 (31:05):
Say, in all seriousness, like the richness and improvement in
life comes first and foremost from the fundamental important things.
Jordan Peterson says.
Speaker 5 (31:16):
Life isn't Marguerite's on the beach, you know, it's how
your wife greets you at the door.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
You know, like the day to day, every day finding
fulfillment in that in the mundane is I think more
of a better recipe for real success than focusing on
vanity metrics and random goals and accomplishments and hitting those marks,
Because if you don't enjoy the process along the way,
you're not really winning. Even if you hit particular goal,
(31:42):
it'll always underwhelm you, surprise, you feel surreal when you
perceive certain things as markers of success. When I think
the real fundamental stuff is the relationships you form, you know,
picking the right partner in life, the right spouse, focusing
on family, building a family around you. Like, those are things,
at least for me. Like at the end of the day,
(32:04):
you could lose all the other stuff, but you could
move on, but you couldn't lose the relationships and the
people and the family and the children and things like that.
I don't have illusions about the hierarchy of values. I
value all the professional stuff obviously and want it and
want to build it and build the empire. But also
beneath all that, I know that at the end of
(32:26):
the day, like who you come home to and what's
around you in an interpersonal sense, is where the real
foundation of a successful life is.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Yeah, that matters the most.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
I mean, of course, you know, because yeah, like even
having a great and important career and stuff for life
gets long after fifty and sixty and all that will
could dissipate and go away, but the other stuff can
only deepen hopefully if you work. You're right.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
I love it, he is Ami Kozak. Check out AMI's house,
follow him on all the socials.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Check out his band Distant Cousins. Thank you so much,
Amy for coming.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
On, Thanks so much for joining us on The Carol
Markowitz Show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
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