November 5, 2025 • 60 mins
Jeff Nichols, former Navy SEAL and world-class strength coach, sits down with David Rutherford to talk about the hardest battle of all — healing the human soul.
From addiction and failed suicide to faith and forgiveness, Jeff reveals the spiritual lessons hidden inside extreme violence, trauma, and failure.
Next Steps:
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Timestamps:
0:00 Intro – The Need for Strength, Service, and Self
3:00 The SEAL Ideology and Its Limits
8:00 From Violence to Meditation
12:00 Addiction, Failure, and Grace
20:00 Rediscovering Faith Through Suffering
25:00 Building Performance First
40:00 Healing Through Teaching
50:00 Living With Purpose and Peace
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
There are several things that we need as human beings
in order to flourish and to develop and to grow
and to become more than what we were yesterday. And
some of those things I believe are first and foremost
our strength and fitness, Second, our commitment towards service, and
(00:32):
third our commitment towards our genuine selves. Today's guest is
a person that I've known for a long time, and
he's a person that represents all three of those ideals
to his core and being able to have bared witness
to his development not only as an elite athlete in college,
(00:56):
but to an elite warrior at a Tier one unit
in the in the Sealed Community, but now as one
of the top strength and conditioning consultants and trainers on
the planet, and overall just an awesome fucking human being.
I'm so proud and privileged to wealth welcome Jeff Nichols
(01:17):
to this Today's show.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Jeff, how are you, brother?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
I'm good. It's a I try to get used to
people like saying those things about me, but coming from you,
I know it's genuine. It's really appreciated. Like we have.
We've come a long ways, and I think the last
time I tooke to you, to talk to you, we
were crying before and you already got me going. But
I just you know, I think that the thing for
(01:45):
me is I never understood relationships and I never understood
the value of them. And I figured if if christ
you know, if being a teacher is good enough for him,
I suppose it's good enough for me as well. So
I appreciate that so much.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
You're welcome, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I think one of the a good place to start
is just relationships and how they evolve, right, you know,
I think we have so many relationships that whether we
were from when we were athletes and those you know,
youthful juvenile relationships in that competitive sense, to the relationships
(02:30):
that we experienced in the teams, which was you know,
more about that peer evaluation and performance. And then you know,
I think, you know, post life serving and specifically like
the relationships were capable.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Now, how have you What are.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
The things that you've really seen within yourself through those
phases that have been the turning points for you to
grow into the person you are to day.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, I think that on that kind of in that
that that sort of wave of timeline, there is this
real natural sort of ideological like picking side of something this, this,
I think it has some value to it, Like I
mean ideology of like I was born a Catholic, right
in that sort of Christian world, I became a soldier.
(03:23):
And I think that the more you get involved or
the more seeking that you do in any of those
sort of places, you get more steeped in sort of
a belief system that not only is like shared in
that steep sort of severe or sincere world. A lot
of it though like you kind of you might get
(03:46):
caught up into it a little bit too much, I think, right,
you really, But but I think that like the Seal
Teams is an example, there's a lot of protective ideologies
in that. And I mean, like the way we think,
the way we believe, the way we act. I think
that and it's necessary, like the soldiering aspect of it,
the discipline aspect of it, like you know, do what
you're told because I don't have time to explain. I
(04:08):
think there's some real protective value in that. But I
think that for me, I'm very much an all in
or nothing person. Well, I think that's that's really kind
of a makeup of my personality. Right, like the likeness
that I have the creations that is inherently me, not
like this is the way I am. But I think
(04:29):
that the thing is is that you can have still
a very very very strong belief in something but not
git caught up in it. And I mean this is
like I'm a huge, huge believer in extreme violence, but
not from a standpoint of anger. And so that was
a real hard construct for me to get my head
(04:51):
around of. Like, you know, I look back at the
six hundred years of the Civil War of the Japanese
like Samurai class was like, how is like that much
violence breeding that much spirituality? And I think that because
there's a there, there has to be that contrast. I
learned that from my wife. Is like, you can't have
the presence of a beautiful flower that's beautiful and pink
(05:13):
unless you look at it inherently and see that it's
see it's draped in black. It's a there's a contrast there,
And so I think that it's a really hard thing
to look at, whether it's religion or it's being a soldier,
being a seal, whatever it is, it's really hard to
realize they're both present. And so that that for me
(05:34):
has been the big change is that I very very
very much believe in the things that I did and
the actions that I took in the teams and in life.
But I look at it from a different lens, and
it's weird for people like I can I mean, I know,
I get pushed back from former teammates of mine of
(05:57):
being like, you turn your back on the community. I'm like, no, no, no,
I turn my back on some of the behavior, my
behavior and so my behaviors in the past that have
now changed in my viewpoint, I think seem very unstable
to other people, whereas for me, it's finally stabilizing, and
(06:17):
that it's a hard thing for people to understand. But
I don't know many people that have been around as
much violence as me, like true violence. And then to
step back and say, Jeff, what's your favorite thing to do? Meditation, gardening?
Like that really is. And I think that that belief
(06:39):
system or my behaviors now from a viewpoint of other people,
they're still stuck in those ideologies seem very counterintuitive. But
I know, I know, I know, I know, and this
is straight to you, and you know this, like my
capacity for violence is as high as anyone, but I
never experienced joy and love to the capacity that I
(07:02):
have now, and as a friend of mine, that that's
all we've ever shared, is that ability to find chur
seeking joy and love and compassion. And it sounds so
counterintuitive to the violence that I was so accustomed to
and still appreciating. I'm more violent now than I've ever
(07:23):
been from a standpoint of a belief because I feel
like I'm not taking a side other than the side
of troops. And so I think that that's my little
soapbox speech of kind of where it's come from, and
I kind of where my mindset's at. That's kind of
where it's at.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I love that, you know, because I think that.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Understanding for people who want to try and exist in
this binary you know, X or O or one or
zero whatever it is, good, bad, you know, violent, peaceful,
whatever is really like the Catharsis of our evolutions as
healthy souls, right, That takes place when we recognize all
(08:08):
of those things exist at one time, and then our
ability to manipulate those things to fit the source of
energy we need to perform for the people we love,
for the people we're teaching, for the people we want
to inspire, right, so I want to ask you about
(08:29):
how you took all of these things and refine them
into a system that helps people get healthy. But before
I do that, I got to talk about one of
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Speaker 2 (08:38):
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Speaker 1 (08:40):
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All right, Jeff, So what I want to know about
(10:42):
your system is this, when did you decide that you're
going to take all those things and refine them through
this really really intense but sophisticated and informative way that
(11:03):
you instruct people to become healthier.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
That came from not omnipotence, And it didn't come from
a place of It did come from a place of
self righteousness that led to a real, real, terrible behaviors.
Like it didn't come from me because I was the
best seal. It came from me because two things. I
was a highly highly, highly skilled seal that squandered it
(11:30):
by and large from a perspective, and in that bled
into my personal life, like I was very unfaithful to
someone I really cared and loved, but it didn't know
how to communicate that, and then that spilled into and
all these sort of things. And so it didn't it
came from a place of you know, failed suicide. It
(11:50):
came from a place of heavy drug use. It came
from a place of like I was an opiated dick
addict for about eight years or better, you know, And
it came from all of this place that I was
masking or I was numbing so many of the feelings
that I felt. That again going back to the ideological side,
(12:11):
like I always viewed somebody that that was very you know,
the difference between objectivity and subjectivity is like if you're subjective,
you're weak. That's how I actually would. I was a
phrase of mine. I only respected people that were objective,
and that lends itself very good in a command to
control environment in tactical space, but that doesn't work very
(12:32):
well in a social environment at all, especially for someone
you care. And it was weird because I didn't grow
up in that environment. My parents were happily married for
forty years, and my mom is like, if my mother
is an incarnation of another being, it's Mary Magdalene. My
mom was born in grace, true grace, and I I
(12:54):
was raised in that grace. But because of that grace,
I respected my parents so much. They gave me an
infinite rope and I didn't drink, I didn't get out
of hand, I never missed school. But when I got
to an opportunity to have to really fend for myself emotionally,
I was really easy for me to make excuses as
(13:15):
why and justify the haad behavior because I had never
done it, and I'm just let letting go and I'm
you know, I'm not showing up the justification. I'm not
showing up hungover because pills didn't make me feel hungover.
And so I had all these justifications in place that
further substantiated bad behavior, and I don't believe in addiction
(13:38):
necessarily as like alcoholic and not speaking for other people.
For myself, mine was just clinging to other bad behaviors.
I shifted from violence to opioids, opioids, the sex, sex
back to opioids, and then the fall for me, like
there was a real awakening. Then I could no longer
blame anyone else because the people that I surrounded myself
(14:00):
with no longer would anything to do with me. And
that's where you and few other people were around. I
was like, after all of my behavior that is really
not okay in a work space and in a social space,
there were still people that saw something in me that
was worth worth like going hey man, Like after all
(14:21):
my all the people saying, hey man, what's wrong, you
gotta straighten up? I was like, fuck off, man, I
don't need this shit. Whereas some people like you, I
don't know what it was. I don't and that's where
it's divine in me and I don't. It wasn't. Yes,
I made choices after the fact to be more aware
of my behavior, but I was shown a different way,
(14:43):
not through human action, and like yes, but like there
was something truly divine that happened in me, and it
made sense finally, Like I grew up in a very
very good Catholic religious setting, and I believed in God,
but I I ever felt like I had a relationship
with the thing that I was really subservient to until
(15:06):
I made all of these terrible decisions that I lost
all the things that I attached my ideologies to, and
so and then I never in a million years thought
i'd meet another woman that also could see me without judgment,
and I did, and I had a second chance of
(15:27):
actually being in love and fall in love and then
actually expressing it instead of just I know, I love you.
Why can't you just you see, I got a roof
over your head and I pay like it just I
just didn't know how to express myself in a way
that was really commensurate with like compassion and love. But
I had it as a dad, Like I really am
(15:47):
a good, really good father and was when my son
was young. And there's a gap of misunderstanding as what
we do. But like I have a really good relationship
with my son, and I never thought I'd be able
to have that, And so largely that's because of my
current wife now is in a position to handle and
guide me in a way that made me realize, like
(16:07):
your son when he's eighteen, if you keep acting like this,
he doesn't need to be around. There's no obligation for
him to be around, even though he may love you.
So that was a real It's just that's what it is.
Is Like, I finally I founally understood that I wanted
to be introspective, not to just be clever. I wanted
(16:29):
to be introspective, to be like, to be be happy.
And my mom said to me a long time ago,
and it didn't make sense. She was just like, you know,
everyone deserves the right to be happy. It's really up
to you whether what behaviors you have, what you're going
to do, And all of those things kind of culminated
into I find a lot of value and I and
(16:50):
self love now and making sure that the truth is this. Dave,
my title as a Seal Team six operator gets put
on a pedestal, and I understand why. But the Navy
seal that Jeff Nichols was from an operator standpoint, yes,
got it. He could do the things, but it's not
(17:13):
somebody worth worth giving any sort of adulation to from
an emotional standpoint, I was not a good person. It
wasn't behaving as one. And for the first time in
my life, I'm like, huh, like you really, actually you
are a good person, and like I'm not asking for
any adulation, but like it's weird to have this like
(17:34):
appreciation put on me because of my job. But like now,
like I, yes, the jobs given me so much and
to open up so many things and so many blessings
beyond my number account, and I appreciate that. I love that,
and I love that that was is a thing that
people like go like that. That takes a lot of
effort and takes a lot of commitment in those things.
(17:56):
But like I have so much value now and people
liking me appreciating me just because I'm I'm authentic and
I never could be that before, Like I was, I
grew up loving comic books, but I was I you
could have never caught me reading a comic book in
public as a seal, because I just felt like that
was like weird or something, you know, like we talked about,
(18:18):
you know, like my tattoos were all black and the
teams I had to beer down to hear hair as long,
Like now I've got earrings and colored tattoos and I
would read comic books and a garden, like like, it's
weird that I have so much freedom, whereas before I
felt so confined by I had to be somebody or
(18:39):
be and that was me. It wasn't necessarily placed on
me by the community. There's some things that are a
little bit odd in that sense, but you know, I
that's it's a hard thing to kind of wrangle in
because you're not supposed to be as violent as I'm
capable of and be this happy because I couldn't find
joy in the teams. I found achievement, tons of it,
(19:01):
tons of achievement, but I have not felt this much
joy and peace. And I always say like, whenever you
have goosebumps, you're close to joy. Man, I get them
all the time and it gets wild. So I'm just
going to keep chasing that, chasing joy, you know, instead
of drugs and sex.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
That's the thing I saw, like when we first really
came together, when you know, back on A T and Q,
when you came out and came on like, that's the
feeling I felt like, that's the thing I saw, you know,
and and it was like, man, there's you're searching, like
you're going for it, You're looking for this. And then
(19:45):
as you kept going and you went through all those changes,
and then you know, I remember you went through a
period where you were really trying to explore what that
faith was going to look like, whether what God was
going to be like in your life, and went through
that whole time. And then just in the last like
two years especially, you know, in particular, I think the
(20:07):
last time we spoke on the phone about a year ago,
your your little over year ago, like it's this, I'm
it's the journey is coming to fruition, and it's a
similar journey that I was on. Like I was, I was,
I was covering up the person that I wanted to
be because I felt like it would have created an
(20:30):
unnecessary vulnerability and the way my peers assessed me.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Right, And so you know, what do you do? You
hide within?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
You hide, I don't know if it's you exist within
a space that that fits the expectation. And then and
then you hit a point where that's so frustrating, it's
so debilitating that you're like, all right, I'm going to
try and shake it off as violently or as dysfunctionally
as I can to try and break free into a
(20:59):
space that you're not sure what that space is going
to look like next. And I think, you know, that's
when the journey really begins. Like when you when you
do detach yourself from those chains of expectation or chains
of performance or whatever you want to call you, you
break free of those chains and now you're free. But
(21:19):
now you're wandering in the desert, right and you got
to go figure it the fuck out, and and and
and and you know, for me, it was really that
that transitional time through the divorce and just going through
all that and leaving the show and then really you know,
trying to figure out who am I and what do
I actually want to be? And then you know, johnn
(21:41):
to come into my life and really enabling me to
restructure that subjectivity, the subjective perception of who I wanted
to be, right to to shift into the person that
I always like you said when you were a kid
and the way you were raised, like, I'm the same
way man. I I had sin before John, I hadn't
(22:04):
felt that peace since I was like an eleven or
twelve year old kid. You know, maybe a little bit
before that ten year old kid, before the chaos in
my home began with my brother. But then now it's like, man,
I like you said, and I think the way you know, Catherine,
some eyesed it with your son. You know, do you
want your children to have a sense of obligation or
(22:27):
a desire to be with you, to spend time with you?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
And that's the quest now.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And you know, I think I saw that journey beginning
in your eyes, and I like I was like, man,
that dude is on the journey. And that's why I
think I was so uh drawn to you because I
knew you weren't gonna it wasn't going to be easy.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
You're gonna you're fighting your way through it.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
But like, man, you were determined, and I think that
was really that connective point for me with with our relationship.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
Yeah, I think that this is not gonna sound normal,
but I know you'll hear it. It's like someone I
deeply care about, like you, for example, my wife, and
this is not a slight on it. And unlike in negativity,
it's like when you see someone being authentic and honest
and they go through a struggle, you're kind of like man,
I hope that person suffers so bad they they do
(23:21):
like and and I don't mean like it's not a
negative thing. It's like there's a real, real truth beyond
human experience that's so inherent with suffering that you are
willing to go, hey, I'm in this. It's but I'm not.
It's not of it, Like I'm not of this. I'm not.
(23:43):
It's like it's just it is the Bible quote, right,
but it's not. It's like it's I can be of
the The people that are of the suffering, they're just
stuck there, they're never they're never gonna change. But someone
that's in the suffering and is aware of it, that like,
this is part of it, This is part of the process,
this is part of the path. The cliches all come
(24:03):
out now, it's like that's that's that's what we're talking about.
It's like when you're when you are actively knowing, Like
my wife would say this to me or the way back,
and she says and like when people are struggling about
their spirituality and she's like to go, do you love
your mother? And you're like, of course I do. We'll
prove it. But there's a knowing, like a real knowing
(24:26):
of it. And the same sort of thing is like
when you are having a hard go in life, but
you're well aware of that's what you need to be
going through, and you don't shirk it, and while you're
in it, you are not getting caught up in some
of your old behaviors that pull you back in. And
sometimes and I mean this, like, I have friends that
(24:48):
I can't be around, not because I dislike them or
not love them, they're in a place where their behaviors.
When I put myself in that environment, I begin to
just if those behaviors again, it has not like keep
doing your thing, like keep doing it, I do love you.
And if that person ever keep those people ever came along,
it's like I need your help. I would stop. Unless
(25:10):
I'd stop and give them everything it could, unless they're
still perpetuating that lie or that behavior. That's not healthy
for me to be around. And so that's a really
odd place to be is actually truly love somebody and
let them suffer, because that's the most compassionate thing you
can do. And that's really where it comes like down
to taking self responsibility, I think, And it's this is
(25:33):
all like deep spiritual work, if you want to call
it that, where I really I know, I know there's
a God. I know, like not because of anything other
than I know, and I've experienced all of it like
I've seen its spirits that felt it beyond those aren't
even words that can compare, right, And you go, I'm
(25:55):
on this path, this process, not not because I'm suffering,
but because the being that created all of this beautiful everything,
this loves me, truly loves me and loves and and
that's the that's the point. The point of all of
this is not to be a Navy Seal, be a
(26:15):
division and baseball player, all these things that I thought
that that was the thing, and now it's like, yes,
I'm a coach, I'm a teacher. I have we have
a lot of great opportunities and students. But my process
in life now is we will meet people in different
stages of awareness and awakening, and it's my job to
(26:38):
greet them at those points differently than my wife, because
she's she's she's the m path, she's the healer, she
is she teaches the meditation, she teaches the thing. But
I have to meet them in a place because they
all come to see me the Navy seal, the tough
of whatever it is. We always laugh because they always
(26:59):
leave with her information and because it's like I see
people like I know right where you're at, man, because
I was there, and that fire is hot and and
you're gonna get exactly what you're looking for. But on
the back end, the generations before us, the Vietnam, the
so on and so on and the so on, many
(27:21):
of us weren't lucky to have that grace to fall
into it. When we go through the fire and my
wife is they like the fire extinguisher of the soul
and they come to see the fire, but they don't
need any more fire. They need somebody to make sense
(27:42):
of it. And I am just have enough sort of
experience or grace if you'll call that, to go, well,
here's my limitation of education on that field, Like you've
got to go see my wife. And it's it's true,
truly divine, and it's it's undeniable, and it's it's it's infinite,
(28:07):
and that's the thing that like I get to be
in the front seat of is is God. I get
to see God in all of these people. And it's
not a joke. It's not figurative like I see it,
and and it's and that's why I'm here, not here
(28:27):
to and I say, I'm here to give you a
Barbelle back squad properly. But that's that's just another method
of suffering, that's all it is. And it's I got
to dance with the devil, literally got to dance with
bail and Satan and the underwheld. I got to I
was fucking ringleader, man. And to now realize that there
(28:52):
is a completely other side of that that is is
so much stronger. And that's what I get to do now.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
For me, that that's the coolest aspect of your evolution
is to watch you as a as a teacher, as
a coach, as a guide, to really begin to refine
the process. And it's not just that, like you said,
it's not just the singular process of you know, the
proper deadlift for squad. I mean, it's so much more
(29:27):
and like you said, infinite. So what I want to
know is how you encapsulate both the tactical information as
well as the metaphysical and spiritual information in your coaching.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
All right, But.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
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Speaker 2 (30:59):
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Speaker 1 (31:00):
That's patriotmobile dot com Ford slash Rutherford or called nine
to seven to two Patriot. All right, Jeff, I want
to dig into your coaching a little bit more and
understand how you incorporate all these things. So, how do
you encapsulate you know, the I don't know, for lack
(31:21):
of a better term, the tactical information, as well as
the metaphysical, the theological, the soulful inflection, the development of
that peaceful content. How do you and your wife encapsulate
that so that people can experience that in you know,
(31:45):
the amount of time they can come and be with you, guys.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
I I make sure my goal for all of these
individuals that we train is to make sure that I'm
teaching coaching sharing not from a standpoint of if I
fail this way, do it this way so you don't
fail like me. Like that's there's only so many people
(32:12):
that are just like me in that way, which really
the real not difficult, but like the measure of patience
that's necessary to like get to know them, like really
see if we can draw out what makes them tick.
And that's where the that's where my wife comes in like,
(32:35):
that's not like we not even try to draw. It's
not like this pragmatic like let's sit around and talk
about our feelings, which is which is fine, Like that's
that's great, especially if you know somebody. But that's that's
like people are really guarded and should be and necessarily
like makes sense why they aren't super open because you
and I both know that the demographic a special operator
(32:57):
by and large isn't somebody that's uh, super authentic. We're
all trying to be this thing right, Like there's a
few that will meet along my way. Like the most
authentic seal I've ever met is Dan Corbett. Like he
wasn't like ever trying to be somebody like it was
it was. It was wild to see someone that free
and way the most violent one, most violent amazing humans
(33:21):
I've ever been around. Like if I had to go
to war, that's the dude I'm picking right, And it's like,
you don't know how there's another guy in my butt's
class that I always looked at like real odd like
and he wasn't questioning authority, he was just contemplating why
why are we doing it this way? And it drove
me fucking nuts because I was so objective. Do what
(33:41):
you're say, shut up and go. So what does that
have to do with what we do? There is I
I really enjoy to a degree And this is where
my wife really helps me, because I'm just I don't
have as much patience in that that world. But like
when people come to us and train with us for
six weeks, two days a week, whatever it might be,
(34:04):
we know, I know, and you know my wife knows too,
that there's a real sincerity. There's a seriousness to going
to do that job, a sincerity and like some guys
you're like certain about and we've been right, one hundred
percent of guy's going to go like that dude's got it,
like you just know, like it's the thing, right, there's
a real sense about that person. They crush it every time.
(34:26):
And there's a couple the majority of them, eighty percent
are trying to figure out, like their whole family thinks
they're crazy. Other friends think they're crazy, like what are
you doing? Why would you ever want to do this?
The world's after blah blah blah blah. There's a there's
a calling, and so they're still trying to like fulfill
this calling while they've had been been in steep judgment
(34:47):
against them, and like you said, the perception of the
people that are close to them going, you're crazy, And
so they're trying to figure that out, like where do
we fit into that? Where does this crazy navy seal in,
this really beautiful, amazing woman, how do they fit into
their perception and judgment with me? And once they get
that figured out, realize they're like holy shit, like they
(35:10):
they're just actually trying to be truthful, like really truthful,
not from a standpoint of fear. There's no fear mongering.
I don't I don't need to tell stories about how
dangerous it's going to be, like like it just or whatever, right,
Like I don't need doesn't need to be storytelling. And
so when they find out really quickly that I'm not
(35:31):
there to fucking tell stories or be their friend, and
I'm there to be honest, like completely fucking honest about
my problems, my shortcomings, and they may have nothing to
do with them, but each one of those guys, I'm
telling you when to be Like by week three, we're
sitting around on meditation and like every one of those
guys is in fucking tears because most of these guys
(35:54):
came from a place, were somewhere somewhere man like, just
like me, didn't feel like I was enough. And for
all these reasons, whatever they're good, they just are. That's society.
It's all blah, what are the stuff? But like, that's
that's that's the human condition. That's so cool. And instead
of us placing judgment upon them and do it my
(36:15):
way or else, or do it my way, you should
pray like me, you should do they no like they
can get a look around and all these guys were
sitting in a circle and are like you realize that,
like every fucking one of you are made perfectly in
the likeness of our creator. Like you, you're just are
like and for some reason, we all at some point
(36:36):
have felt like we just didn't fit in. But now
look around you, man like, you are surrounded by people
that will just go fucking all in. Why because they know,
not because it's a pragmatic definition, but they know just
like do you love your mother? Do you love God?
(36:57):
Do you love yes? And you can't define that and
you can't box it in and you can't put in
a book, and you can't put it in a podcast,
but you can surround people and you can make it
that energy is undeniable and infinite, and that's what we do.
It just you just people are so concerned with pleasing
(37:20):
other people before they then so themselves. And like, man,
like these men that show up, these young men that
show up, Man, that gives me so much hope because fuck, dude,
like we all know the world's fucking burning in some
way or another, and it just makes you just want
to be mad. And you're just like these guys traveled
(37:40):
all over the world. We have people come from Australia, Like,
we have people come from all over the world to
go do this thing that they're they're compelled to do.
Like if it ain't if it ain't divine, man, nothing
is like I don't there is nothing that brings me
closer to God than sitting around a circle of men
and going, this is it, man, this is this is
the other angels sitting here, man, Like, fucking real angels
(38:03):
sitting here. That's power, man, And that is power you
can't build. That is given, that is God given, and
that's that's it's There is nothing in my life more
beautiful than seeing that it's it's it's just God, man,
just God, It's just God.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
It's interesting. You know.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
I as I went back and I'm just you know,
scrolling through the stuff that you put out on on
your Instagram page and and YouTube and and you know,
I I just you know, you see, you know, an
expert in in your field. You see the competency and
(38:49):
your descriptions and your instruction and your tutelage and you know.
But then on the other side, you know, you did
a recent one about the book, the Russian book about training,
and you know, there's a heartfelt message behind like this
is real, Like this is real stuff that is in
this book that you should ingest, and you know, and
(39:10):
then you do these other aspects of of you know,
what you're trying to accomplish from that spiritual level too,
And and I see like this breadth of of of
information that's just growing and growing. Do you feel like
finally now you you are.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Able to what is it?
Speaker 1 (39:32):
It's almost overlay all those different planes of wisdom and
and and and kind of get that symbiosis to take
place where they fuse through the actions or deeds of
your students.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
With these guys I'm talking about there's such a sincerity
behind them, And there's such a sincerity behind men and
women that care firearms and do these just rescue people,
Like there's a there is nothing behind that that's not
truthful when you are actually digging into it. And so
those men and women are always looking for not an
(40:14):
advantage of yes it's an advantage, but they're just they're
tired of being bullshitted. And whether you're talking about faith,
your spirituality, you're talking about the biology, you're talking about
anything that we teach, it all comes from the same place.
(40:34):
It's all truthful because we don't need to make up,
we don't need to pair it, and we don't need
to kind of assume that the things that we've done
are unique to us, like they're just handed down information
and knowledge and wisdom and through experience. And like I
think that that's that's the thing, is that just like
(40:56):
me and just like you, why did we join the teams?
Like why do we do? Why do we authentically go
and do the thing and succeed? Like there was a
real there's a truth to that, Like it's we all
know guys that didn't get out what they wanted to
get out of it. Guys that this that. But but
even with our mistakes, right, even the things that like
the thing that like broke you, the thing, the team stuff,
(41:20):
it's like insane with me. It's like there's a real
truth to that. It actually happened. It's honest and and
and in the same way that's like, listen, like, what
are the one of the first things that christ said about, hey,
heal is sick? This was like, don't tell anyone? What
was the first thing they did telled everyone? And so
(41:40):
it's like that's what I'm saying, is like they're the
same thing, David. If I'm teaching somebody a Barbelle back squad,
that is my gateway to truth. It's if they're coming
for me to lift weights with me and learn and
all these things they've got trouble with, and I teach
them authentic and I'm like, this is this is all
(42:02):
within you and you can do it. What's the difference
of that between like, man, if I'm going to struggle,
I'm going a hard time with the relationships and I
don't try to fix it, certainly, maybe I can listen
to it, but I also just like authentically could be
like I understand I really do. I'm not trying to
say that. What you're feeling is like I have a
(42:22):
total grasp on it, and they're we're separate. No no, no,
no no, Like I can meet a person where they're
at acts truthfully, like I don't have to fix it.
But when I'm coming authentically, there's trust, there's rapport, there's relationship,
and so whether i'm it's like if I have given
(42:44):
them some really good information that's led to them improving
their movement patterns authentically and now they own it, that
person is very likely then to go, well, this person
talks about his faith and how strong it is and
how it's changed of the years, Like maybe that person
has something to offer me too, because I kind of
struggle with those things too. It's it's it and it's
(43:07):
and then that's really where my wife really comes into
is because it's not just about me, and it's very
easy for a husband and a wife to go we're
on the same line, we're doing the same stuff, and
we're doing like man like, it's not that my wife
finishes my sentences for me. Here's the true fact. Here's
something that will blow your mind away a little bit.
So we got married on Marcus's ranch right, and and
(43:32):
and so I went and did my first psychedelic journey
in Mexico. I didn't tell anyone except for my wife
and my mom, no one else, nobody else. And so
I'm driving across, coming across the border, and my phone
rings and Marcus is there, and I'm like, what's up, man,
(43:56):
He's like, welcome home. I'm like, I just know, man,
I could just know this, that and the other. So
from that standpoint on, I get home. I get home,
and more than ten times my wife would go like,
you need to call so and so. Call Marcus. He's
gonna call you. I mean within minutes, man, a call,
(44:18):
or or we'd be in our backyard. We had a
bunch of bald eagles in our backyard in Virginia Beach.
And almost every single time for the first year or
two after that, anytime I'd see a bald eagle, Marcus
would call or someone like you would call like no kidding,
like when that was the thing when you called. And
that last time my wife called it, she's like, you
(44:39):
need to check on so and so, you need to
do this, and and it's like she genuinely has this
sort of intuition that it was always a question by me.
I'd always pushed it down and pushed it down, you know,
like don't and it's there's a real and I'm not
going to get into. My wife's childhood is very, very
different than mine. And through that forging, we'll say, even
(45:03):
like they send the yours, there's certain behaviors and thoughts
and processes that really come to light. And when somebody
comes in, I can see the guys that were like
me in a way, right, and I can kind of
pick them out, and it's pretty obvious, but there's a
whole other side to that emotion. And she's able to,
(45:24):
I mean to like a creepy well at first, she's
able to like clearly define what they're experiencing and why
not from a standpoint of judgment. And so when you
start adding those two things up my ability to listen
(45:47):
to my intuition from a standpoint of non judgment of
people that I care for, and you add my wife
that same mix from a different set of eyes, from
a different set of compassion, from a different set of
a My wife is a fighter man, and she is
a tough, tough, tough human. She is one of the
most gentle beings I've ever been around, Like my mom,
like really like it's like my mom and her like symbiotic.
(46:10):
But my dad was so objectively amazing. It drove me
nuts as a child. He was so pragmatic and so
put together and so composed. That's my wife is my
Dad's a basically behavior being Like it's the same and
like I'm like, holy crap, Like the thing that drove
me nuts in the past, now I just adore. And
(46:30):
so you put that in a room with people that
are authentically raw like and that you let them loose,
with people like us that will just let them be themselves.
That's it's it's remarkable to see so many good humans
come together and build relationships and like you launched them
(46:53):
in the military, it's such a high success rate. We know,
I know, we don't see it just yet, but the
seeds that have been planted with these extremely extremely capable,
violent men, but they have this capacity and how to go,
hey man, I can put this down. We didn't I
(47:13):
didn't have that. I mean I tried it desperately to
seek it in prayer and the pews of a Catholic
church and things like that, and it had its value,
but it couldn't take that off.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Man.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
I didn't. I didn't know how to relinquish that violence
without feeling that I was giving something up that made me,
you know, like, hey, I'm gonna give up this violence.
I'm gonna go watch this movie. But I just know
that's weakness. I can't do that. And so to get
these people to understand that, like you can be extraordinarily
violent and like love on your great dame and your
(47:47):
kitten and like read comic books and do these things.
Still they're like, wait a minute, Like I thought you
were supposed to be this really fucking angry veteran that
just ah, yeah, I was good at that, man, but
it had its limits. Man, my hair falling out, teeth
getting rotten, like just health deteriorating. And it's like, all
(48:07):
that being said, it's weird that now, at forty seven,
after all those life experiences, it feels like I'm actually
a decent example as a human being, That's what. And
I don't I didn't have that, but I have it
now because I have my Yin and Yang, my wife,
she is like the complete balance of me, you know,
(48:31):
and all all some admittedly there it hasn't Mill Roads.
That's the thing is we've COVID in a weird way,
like we we If it weren't for COVID, we probably
wouldn't have survived as a relationship. Like we couldn't separate
because of the situations and things. And it was virutal.
It was never violent and like against each other. But
it just it forced me, not her. She had to
(48:53):
work to a bit, man it. I had to learn
how to communicate because I cared and I wasn't a
like I didn't like I had this real love and
compassion for somebody. And then that that like to take
the two of us and put them in front of
these people, that's it, Like it's not really about me.
It's it's it's wildly not about me anymore. And I
(49:17):
love that because it's not the Jeff Show anymore. And
I God, that was awful, Like I was just a
ego driven, fucked hard man. Like what a shitty person
I was behaving like and I and I'm so good
to not be that anymore. It's just so free.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
I love that you express it like that.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Man, I you know, and I I you know again,
I think that's what people are trying to find in themselves.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Right, they're trying to find that freedom.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Right from from those behavioral patterns, from those emotional shortfalls,
and from that spiritual whatever, that devoid of spirituality. They
they they that's consuming them. They're they're looking for that
kind of freedom. And I just think it's it's really
special that you and your wife are out there and
(50:11):
and offer that that kind of opportunity for people, you know,
whether it's young men wanting to go into service, or
it's just people wanting to get healthy. And I think,
you know, that's the conduit for that truth in us
is through our physicality, through our emotional health, through our
spiritual health.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
You know, what is it?
Speaker 3 (50:32):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Do you think that you guys, if people are interested
and they want to, you know, they want to understand
what they're going to receive from you, how would you
describe the experience that they're going to have if they
come to your farm, or or even if you you
coach online or whatever it might be. What? What is?
(50:53):
What is the truth that you're going to help them
discover in themselves?
Speaker 3 (50:58):
Yeah, I think the big thing is I'm actually I'm
actually I'm really concerned about I'm just saying, like I
really want to know what what's what's what? What are they?
What do they want? Like what what do you want?
Because a lot of them are like tactical population, military, police,
fire or whatever it might be. Said my my wife
just had a zoom call and did a meditation with
(51:19):
a surgeon from Texas because just person that experienced trauma
and a cancer ward and just surgery. And then like
how do I put that down? Like I do believe
that religion has a real good place because it's it's
it's a real good foundational thing, but some people kind
of get lost in the pragmatism of it.
Speaker 4 (51:41):
It's a little bit like what but but like I
just got to do this ritualistic thing and it may
not it may not speak to somebody. And that's and
that's that's not a slight towards religion. It's just sometimes
someone's seeking the heart.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
And I think that when people come to us, because
I have experience in that space, but I don't presume
to think that I have all the answers based on
my experience. And so when we talk to them, we
see them and coaching calls or in person, what we're
trying to do is bring out of them, like where
(52:14):
are you at? What what got you here? Like where
what are you really having trouble with? Like and if
you're not honest, and that's too bad. But like like
we share our own personal stories to say, hey, I'm
not afraid to be to be exposed because it's not
like I don't care what you think. It's like no, no,
like these these positions of me sharing with you are
(52:34):
in all of branch for you understand that, like I'm
not I'm not trying to compete with you with what
your suffering is or the trouble. I'm not trying to
compete with you. I'm just trying to share with you
that I just might understand what suffering is or having
trouble with this. It's like, you know, like we've had
a couple of guys that grew up in a very
very very traditional Mormon polygamous life. We've had three, and
(53:02):
all three of them that we've hit experienced have really
had a massive emotional blowback from the things they've seen,
things they don't agree with why they left the church.
And this is not like it's it's like that in
all the time. It's like we see in catholosity. So
just as an example, because I I don't care what
your faith is. I just care that you love God
(53:24):
and so whatever that path is, that's fine. But we
but what But I can't. I can never. I've never
experienced that in the Mormon Church. I've only experienced really
good friends that are Mormon, and they don't like you know,
So I'm not trying to compete with my suffering and theirs.
But for us to say, hey, we can meet you
and recognize that, hey, you're struggling and it's okay, because
(53:50):
that's pretty that's a pretty pretty severe experience and it's
going to take you some time to work through that.
So my side is like, let's work through that with
good physical suffering, good physical effort. Let's let's get that aligned.
And that falls into what are you eating, how are
you sleeping, what supplements are using? Like, let's let's sort
out this amazing one. The one gift, the one physical
(54:11):
gift we get on this birth is this Ferrari or Lamborghini.
That's what I get to deal with, and that's my conduit.
I don't have. I don't have the intuitive grace that
my wife does in the spiritual side. So we team up,
and if it's not me, they think, oh god, I can.
I'll fix your back squat all day if you give
a shit, if you really care and you want to
(54:32):
do this and do these, and guy, that's I got
the easy job, Dave, I got the real super easy job.
But then it's like, hey, have you ever thought about
these things? It's off my plate. They look at me,
and I'm like, I'm not the teacher. I'm this. I
get to be the student when my wife is teaching
every time, you know, And so like, I think that
(54:54):
that's what they actually get. They get. They get two
people that don't pretend to be something they're not. They're
highly skilled in the things that we do. But that's
not because we're trying to mirror our own excuses or
mirror our own fault and mirror own chinks and armor.
We're just saying, hey, this human experience is fucking hard, man,
(55:17):
whether it's be a Navy seal or it's the things
you do after when you're not wearing the Navy seal hat.
Life is really can be hard. But you know what,
when you get a handle on it and you're authentic
God almighty. It's good.
Speaker 2 (55:35):
Amen to that. Brother.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
Thank you so much for coming on with me and
just sharing the deepest of your thoughts. And I just
love listening to you get me all excited and fired
up about my own truth in my life and getting
healthy myself on a regular basis. And I just I
love you to death, brother, And I cannot wait to
(56:00):
see and get to hug your wife in person and
thank her for what she's done for my friend. And
I just you're such a powerful person and you're doing
such good for people.
Speaker 2 (56:12):
I just I just really appreciate you, man. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
Yeah, you know, the feeling is mutual. You never know,
like you never know where people is going to cross
because I know you are part of my SQT staff, right,
and like there isn't a lot of recollection of that
initiation of a friendship, right, and then fast forward to
wherever we get and you go there are just certain
people in your life that like matter, like really matter,
(56:40):
and you're one of them. And that's never like that's
you know, it's gonna be fucking really rad. Is beyond
this experience, you and I can go do it. The
travel the Cosmor Center fucking service sur surfboard or whatever
whatever we gonna do. Man, I don't care what is,
but infinitely get enjoy this space of and compassion right
(57:01):
And it's like I don't know what it holds beyond this, man,
but like we get snapshots of real truth and love
in this, in this human experience. And if there's a
real abundance beyond this, and I know that there is, Man,
it isn't alone. It's with people like you forever. And
so that's what you know. It's like, I that's a
(57:22):
hard part of like strong on my spirituality. I don't
want to check out too early. And that's that's so
that's a real thing that you guys can get get
glommed on. But uh, in the future, it's this isn't
a this isn't a plug. But I just want to
You're gonna get an invitation here probably in the spring.
My wife and I want to do what's basically called
it like a farmstrong people that are really really really
(57:43):
care about invite them out here and you share like
it's the best food, the best training, the best spiritual
like and it's just you bring in you. We we
make our owlune returgent, make our own dedodorant. We do
all this like so like let's we have a raw
dairy farm just up the street, and it's like, let's
bring in like the best of the best, each of us.
You bring in your just and you just share your
(58:04):
space in this space of grace and like that's it.
Like that's community and fellowship, man, And like we have
weights and food and so everyone brings their own peace
and so be looking for that because it's like that
matters to me. Community matters to me, and you are
very much in my inner circle of community.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Thank you, man, I appreciate that. Jeff, Jeff, where can
people find your programs? Pay attention?
Speaker 3 (58:34):
And what are they?
Speaker 1 (58:36):
You just gave a little drop for the farmstrong in
the spring, But where else can people engage with you
and your wife and really pull out this truth that
people are so desperately looking for right now?
Speaker 3 (58:50):
Yeah, I guess you know. Instagram is kind of my
sort of bulletin board of information. It's Jeff CSCs. We
have a YouTube channel as well, that's kind of in
our website is Performance first us dot com. And kind
of how it works is like we get only so
many people who can train in person, so basically all
of our written programs or downloaded programs on our website,
(59:12):
but every single exercise that's in that program there's a
direct demonstration on our YouTube channel. So it's kind of
that's the interface. You know, we do in person training
and things like that. But like Instagram and social media
is kind of our our launching point and you know,
maybe it'll evolve from there, but you know, we're just
trying to reach out to many people as we can.
And that's right now, that's our avenue. And my wife
(59:34):
also it's she has her Instagram too and and things
like that. But like it's you know, it's if you're
coming to performance first, you're sending email, You're you're talking
to my wife. She's my ghostwriter. She's put more people
through Buds than I and it basically other than myself
and Stu Smith. So if you've sent an email to
my our website in the last seven years, she's answered
(59:55):
it all. Like it's truly like my wife's background too.
She's a drink conditioning co. She's been doing it for
as long as I have. She's had amazing mentors in
college and things like that, so she is you know,
she is the most truly fit female I've ever been around,
like a forty three year old woman to two back surgeries,
two shorder surgeries can knock out twelve thirteen fourteen pull
(01:00:16):
ups at will, just like all right, well, let's do
that like so that she's easy to reach. But don't
don't don't uh, don't underestimate her, her soul because it's
it's a it's something.
Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
It is something, all right, brother, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
I love you, man, God bless you and your wife
and everything you guys are doing.
Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
Appreciate day. I love you too, man,
There are several things that we need as human beings
in order to flourish and to develop and to grow
and to become more than what we were yesterday. And
some of those things I believe are first and foremost
our strength and fitness, Second, our commitment towards service, and
(00:32):
third our commitment towards our genuine selves. Today's guest is
a person that I've known for a long time, and
he's a person that represents all three of those ideals
to his core and being able to have bared witness
to his development not only as an elite athlete in college,
(00:56):
but to an elite warrior at a Tier one unit
in the in the Sealed Community, but now as one
of the top strength and conditioning consultants and trainers on
the planet, and overall just an awesome fucking human being.
I'm so proud and privileged to wealth welcome Jeff Nichols
(01:17):
to this Today's show.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Jeff, how are you, brother?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
I'm good. It's a I try to get used to
people like saying those things about me, but coming from you,
I know it's genuine. It's really appreciated. Like we have.
We've come a long ways, and I think the last
time I tooke to you, to talk to you, we
were crying before and you already got me going. But
I just you know, I think that the thing for
(01:45):
me is I never understood relationships and I never understood
the value of them. And I figured if if christ
you know, if being a teacher is good enough for him,
I suppose it's good enough for me as well. So
I appreciate that so much.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
You're welcome, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I think one of the a good place to start
is just relationships and how they evolve, right, you know,
I think we have so many relationships that whether we
were from when we were athletes and those you know,
youthful juvenile relationships in that competitive sense, to the relationships
(02:30):
that we experienced in the teams, which was you know,
more about that peer evaluation and performance. And then you know,
I think, you know, post life serving and specifically like
the relationships were capable.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Now, how have you What are.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
The things that you've really seen within yourself through those
phases that have been the turning points for you to
grow into the person you are to day.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, I think that on that kind of in that
that that sort of wave of timeline, there is this
real natural sort of ideological like picking side of something this, this,
I think it has some value to it, Like I
mean ideology of like I was born a Catholic, right
in that sort of Christian world, I became a soldier.
(03:23):
And I think that the more you get involved or
the more seeking that you do in any of those
sort of places, you get more steeped in sort of
a belief system that not only is like shared in
that steep sort of severe or sincere world. A lot
of it though like you kind of you might get
(03:46):
caught up into it a little bit too much, I think, right,
you really, But but I think that like the Seal
Teams is an example, there's a lot of protective ideologies
in that. And I mean, like the way we think,
the way we believe, the way we act. I think
that and it's necessary, like the soldiering aspect of it,
the discipline aspect of it, like you know, do what
you're told because I don't have time to explain. I
(04:08):
think there's some real protective value in that. But I
think that for me, I'm very much an all in
or nothing person. Well, I think that's that's really kind
of a makeup of my personality. Right, like the likeness
that I have the creations that is inherently me, not
like this is the way I am. But I think
(04:29):
that the thing is is that you can have still
a very very very strong belief in something but not
git caught up in it. And I mean this is
like I'm a huge, huge believer in extreme violence, but
not from a standpoint of anger. And so that was
a real hard construct for me to get my head
(04:51):
around of. Like, you know, I look back at the
six hundred years of the Civil War of the Japanese
like Samurai class was like, how is like that much
violence breeding that much spirituality? And I think that because
there's a there, there has to be that contrast. I
learned that from my wife. Is like, you can't have
the presence of a beautiful flower that's beautiful and pink
(05:13):
unless you look at it inherently and see that it's
see it's draped in black. It's a there's a contrast there,
And so I think that it's a really hard thing
to look at, whether it's religion or it's being a soldier,
being a seal, whatever it is, it's really hard to
realize they're both present. And so that that for me
(05:34):
has been the big change is that I very very
very much believe in the things that I did and
the actions that I took in the teams and in life.
But I look at it from a different lens, and
it's weird for people like I can I mean, I know,
I get pushed back from former teammates of mine of
(05:57):
being like, you turn your back on the community. I'm like, no, no, no,
I turn my back on some of the behavior, my
behavior and so my behaviors in the past that have
now changed in my viewpoint, I think seem very unstable
to other people, whereas for me, it's finally stabilizing, and
(06:17):
that it's a hard thing for people to understand. But
I don't know many people that have been around as
much violence as me, like true violence. And then to
step back and say, Jeff, what's your favorite thing to do? Meditation, gardening?
Like that really is. And I think that that belief
(06:39):
system or my behaviors now from a viewpoint of other people,
they're still stuck in those ideologies seem very counterintuitive. But
I know, I know, I know, I know, and this
is straight to you, and you know this, like my
capacity for violence is as high as anyone, but I
never experienced joy and love to the capacity that I
(07:02):
have now, and as a friend of mine, that that's
all we've ever shared, is that ability to find chur
seeking joy and love and compassion. And it sounds so
counterintuitive to the violence that I was so accustomed to
and still appreciating. I'm more violent now than I've ever
(07:23):
been from a standpoint of a belief because I feel
like I'm not taking a side other than the side
of troops. And so I think that that's my little
soapbox speech of kind of where it's come from, and
I kind of where my mindset's at. That's kind of
where it's at.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I love that, you know, because I think that.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Understanding for people who want to try and exist in
this binary you know, X or O or one or
zero whatever it is, good, bad, you know, violent, peaceful,
whatever is really like the Catharsis of our evolutions as
healthy souls, right, That takes place when we recognize all
(08:08):
of those things exist at one time, and then our
ability to manipulate those things to fit the source of
energy we need to perform for the people we love,
for the people we're teaching, for the people we want
to inspire, right, so I want to ask you about
(08:29):
how you took all of these things and refine them
into a system that helps people get healthy. But before
I do that, I got to talk about one of
our great sponsors.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
That's Hillsdale College.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Okay, Now, I don't know about you, but I am
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All right, Jeff, So what I want to know about
(10:42):
your system is this, when did you decide that you're
going to take all those things and refine them through
this really really intense but sophisticated and informative way that
(11:03):
you instruct people to become healthier.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
That came from not omnipotence, And it didn't come from
a place of It did come from a place of
self righteousness that led to a real, real, terrible behaviors.
Like it didn't come from me because I was the
best seal. It came from me because two things. I
was a highly highly, highly skilled seal that squandered it
(11:30):
by and large from a perspective, and in that bled
into my personal life, like I was very unfaithful to
someone I really cared and loved, but it didn't know
how to communicate that, and then that spilled into and
all these sort of things. And so it didn't it
came from a place of you know, failed suicide. It
(11:50):
came from a place of heavy drug use. It came
from a place of like I was an opiated dick
addict for about eight years or better, you know, And
it came from all of this place that I was
masking or I was numbing so many of the feelings
that I felt. That again going back to the ideological side,
(12:11):
like I always viewed somebody that that was very you know,
the difference between objectivity and subjectivity is like if you're subjective,
you're weak. That's how I actually would. I was a
phrase of mine. I only respected people that were objective,
and that lends itself very good in a command to
control environment in tactical space, but that doesn't work very
(12:32):
well in a social environment at all, especially for someone
you care. And it was weird because I didn't grow
up in that environment. My parents were happily married for
forty years, and my mom is like, if my mother
is an incarnation of another being, it's Mary Magdalene. My
mom was born in grace, true grace, and I I
(12:54):
was raised in that grace. But because of that grace,
I respected my parents so much. They gave me an
infinite rope and I didn't drink, I didn't get out
of hand, I never missed school. But when I got
to an opportunity to have to really fend for myself emotionally,
I was really easy for me to make excuses as
(13:15):
why and justify the haad behavior because I had never
done it, and I'm just let letting go and I'm
you know, I'm not showing up the justification. I'm not
showing up hungover because pills didn't make me feel hungover.
And so I had all these justifications in place that
further substantiated bad behavior, and I don't believe in addiction
(13:38):
necessarily as like alcoholic and not speaking for other people.
For myself, mine was just clinging to other bad behaviors.
I shifted from violence to opioids, opioids, the sex, sex
back to opioids, and then the fall for me, like
there was a real awakening. Then I could no longer
blame anyone else because the people that I surrounded myself
(14:00):
with no longer would anything to do with me. And
that's where you and few other people were around. I
was like, after all of my behavior that is really
not okay in a work space and in a social space,
there were still people that saw something in me that
was worth worth like going hey man, Like after all
(14:21):
my all the people saying, hey man, what's wrong, you
gotta straighten up? I was like, fuck off, man, I
don't need this shit. Whereas some people like you, I
don't know what it was. I don't and that's where
it's divine in me and I don't. It wasn't. Yes,
I made choices after the fact to be more aware
of my behavior, but I was shown a different way,
(14:43):
not through human action, and like yes, but like there
was something truly divine that happened in me, and it
made sense finally, Like I grew up in a very
very good Catholic religious setting, and I believed in God,
but I I ever felt like I had a relationship
with the thing that I was really subservient to until
(15:06):
I made all of these terrible decisions that I lost
all the things that I attached my ideologies to, and
so and then I never in a million years thought
i'd meet another woman that also could see me without judgment,
and I did, and I had a second chance of
(15:27):
actually being in love and fall in love and then
actually expressing it instead of just I know, I love you.
Why can't you just you see, I got a roof
over your head and I pay like it just I
just didn't know how to express myself in a way
that was really commensurate with like compassion and love. But
I had it as a dad, Like I really am
(15:47):
a good, really good father and was when my son
was young. And there's a gap of misunderstanding as what
we do. But like I have a really good relationship
with my son, and I never thought I'd be able
to have that, And so largely that's because of my
current wife now is in a position to handle and
guide me in a way that made me realize, like
(16:07):
your son when he's eighteen, if you keep acting like this,
he doesn't need to be around. There's no obligation for
him to be around, even though he may love you.
So that was a real It's just that's what it is.
Is Like, I finally I founally understood that I wanted
to be introspective, not to just be clever. I wanted
(16:29):
to be introspective, to be like, to be be happy.
And my mom said to me a long time ago,
and it didn't make sense. She was just like, you know,
everyone deserves the right to be happy. It's really up
to you whether what behaviors you have, what you're going
to do, And all of those things kind of culminated
into I find a lot of value and I and
(16:50):
self love now and making sure that the truth is this. Dave,
my title as a Seal Team six operator gets put
on a pedestal, and I understand why. But the Navy
seal that Jeff Nichols was from an operator standpoint, yes,
got it. He could do the things, but it's not
(17:13):
somebody worth worth giving any sort of adulation to from
an emotional standpoint, I was not a good person. It
wasn't behaving as one. And for the first time in
my life, I'm like, huh, like you really, actually you
are a good person, and like I'm not asking for
any adulation, but like it's weird to have this like
(17:34):
appreciation put on me because of my job. But like now,
like I, yes, the jobs given me so much and
to open up so many things and so many blessings
beyond my number account, and I appreciate that. I love that,
and I love that that was is a thing that
people like go like that. That takes a lot of
effort and takes a lot of commitment in those things.
(17:56):
But like I have so much value now and people
liking me appreciating me just because I'm I'm authentic and
I never could be that before, Like I was, I
grew up loving comic books, but I was I you
could have never caught me reading a comic book in
public as a seal, because I just felt like that
was like weird or something, you know, like we talked about,
(18:18):
you know, like my tattoos were all black and the
teams I had to beer down to hear hair as long,
Like now I've got earrings and colored tattoos and I
would read comic books and a garden, like like, it's
weird that I have so much freedom, whereas before I
felt so confined by I had to be somebody or
(18:39):
be and that was me. It wasn't necessarily placed on
me by the community. There's some things that are a
little bit odd in that sense, but you know, I
that's it's a hard thing to kind of wrangle in
because you're not supposed to be as violent as I'm
capable of and be this happy because I couldn't find
joy in the teams. I found achievement, tons of it,
(19:01):
tons of achievement, but I have not felt this much
joy and peace. And I always say like, whenever you
have goosebumps, you're close to joy. Man, I get them
all the time and it gets wild. So I'm just
going to keep chasing that, chasing joy, you know, instead
of drugs and sex.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
That's the thing I saw, like when we first really
came together, when you know, back on A T and Q,
when you came out and came on like, that's the
feeling I felt like, that's the thing I saw, you know,
and and it was like, man, there's you're searching, like
you're going for it, You're looking for this. And then
(19:45):
as you kept going and you went through all those changes,
and then you know, I remember you went through a
period where you were really trying to explore what that
faith was going to look like, whether what God was
going to be like in your life, and went through
that whole time. And then just in the last like
two years especially, you know, in particular, I think the
(20:07):
last time we spoke on the phone about a year ago,
your your little over year ago, like it's this, I'm
it's the journey is coming to fruition, and it's a
similar journey that I was on. Like I was, I was,
I was covering up the person that I wanted to
be because I felt like it would have created an
(20:30):
unnecessary vulnerability and the way my peers assessed me.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Right, And so you know, what do you do? You
hide within?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
You hide, I don't know if it's you exist within
a space that that fits the expectation. And then and
then you hit a point where that's so frustrating, it's
so debilitating that you're like, all right, I'm going to
try and shake it off as violently or as dysfunctionally
as I can to try and break free into a
(20:59):
space that you're not sure what that space is going
to look like next. And I think, you know, that's
when the journey really begins. Like when you when you
do detach yourself from those chains of expectation or chains
of performance or whatever you want to call you, you
break free of those chains and now you're free. But
(21:19):
now you're wandering in the desert, right and you got
to go figure it the fuck out, and and and
and and you know, for me, it was really that
that transitional time through the divorce and just going through
all that and leaving the show and then really you know,
trying to figure out who am I and what do
I actually want to be? And then you know, johnn
(21:41):
to come into my life and really enabling me to
restructure that subjectivity, the subjective perception of who I wanted
to be, right to to shift into the person that
I always like you said when you were a kid
and the way you were raised, like, I'm the same
way man. I I had sin before John, I hadn't
(22:04):
felt that peace since I was like an eleven or
twelve year old kid. You know, maybe a little bit
before that ten year old kid, before the chaos in
my home began with my brother. But then now it's like, man,
I like you said, and I think the way you know, Catherine,
some eyesed it with your son. You know, do you
want your children to have a sense of obligation or
(22:27):
a desire to be with you, to spend time with you?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
And that's the quest now.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And you know, I think I saw that journey beginning
in your eyes, and I like I was like, man,
that dude is on the journey. And that's why I
think I was so uh drawn to you because I
knew you weren't gonna it wasn't going to be easy.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
You're gonna you're fighting your way through it.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
But like, man, you were determined, and I think that
was really that connective point for me with with our relationship.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
Yeah, I think that this is not gonna sound normal,
but I know you'll hear it. It's like someone I
deeply care about, like you, for example, my wife, and
this is not a slight on it. And unlike in negativity,
it's like when you see someone being authentic and honest
and they go through a struggle, you're kind of like man,
I hope that person suffers so bad they they do
(23:21):
like and and I don't mean like it's not a
negative thing. It's like there's a real, real truth beyond
human experience that's so inherent with suffering that you are
willing to go, hey, I'm in this. It's but I'm not.
It's not of it, Like I'm not of this. I'm not.
(23:43):
It's like it's just it is the Bible quote, right,
but it's not. It's like it's I can be of
the The people that are of the suffering, they're just
stuck there, they're never they're never gonna change. But someone
that's in the suffering and is aware of it, that like,
this is part of it, This is part of the process,
this is part of the path. The cliches all come
(24:03):
out now, it's like that's that's that's what we're talking about.
It's like when you're when you are actively knowing, Like
my wife would say this to me or the way back,
and she says and like when people are struggling about
their spirituality and she's like to go, do you love
your mother? And you're like, of course I do. We'll
prove it. But there's a knowing, like a real knowing
(24:26):
of it. And the same sort of thing is like
when you are having a hard go in life, but
you're well aware of that's what you need to be
going through, and you don't shirk it, and while you're
in it, you are not getting caught up in some
of your old behaviors that pull you back in. And
sometimes and I mean this, like, I have friends that
(24:48):
I can't be around, not because I dislike them or
not love them, they're in a place where their behaviors.
When I put myself in that environment, I begin to
just if those behaviors again, it has not like keep
doing your thing, like keep doing it, I do love you.
And if that person ever keep those people ever came along,
it's like I need your help. I would stop. Unless
(25:10):
I'd stop and give them everything it could, unless they're
still perpetuating that lie or that behavior. That's not healthy
for me to be around. And so that's a really
odd place to be is actually truly love somebody and
let them suffer, because that's the most compassionate thing you
can do. And that's really where it comes like down
to taking self responsibility, I think, And it's this is
(25:33):
all like deep spiritual work, if you want to call
it that, where I really I know, I know there's
a God. I know, like not because of anything other
than I know, and I've experienced all of it like
I've seen its spirits that felt it beyond those aren't
even words that can compare, right, And you go, I'm
(25:55):
on this path, this process, not not because I'm suffering,
but because the being that created all of this beautiful everything,
this loves me, truly loves me and loves and and
that's the that's the point. The point of all of
this is not to be a Navy Seal, be a
(26:15):
division and baseball player, all these things that I thought
that that was the thing, and now it's like, yes,
I'm a coach, I'm a teacher. I have we have
a lot of great opportunities and students. But my process
in life now is we will meet people in different
stages of awareness and awakening, and it's my job to
(26:38):
greet them at those points differently than my wife, because
she's she's she's the m path, she's the healer, she
is she teaches the meditation, she teaches the thing. But
I have to meet them in a place because they
all come to see me the Navy seal, the tough
of whatever it is. We always laugh because they always
(26:59):
leave with her information and because it's like I see
people like I know right where you're at, man, because
I was there, and that fire is hot and and
you're gonna get exactly what you're looking for. But on
the back end, the generations before us, the Vietnam, the
so on and so on and the so on, many
(27:21):
of us weren't lucky to have that grace to fall
into it. When we go through the fire and my
wife is they like the fire extinguisher of the soul
and they come to see the fire, but they don't
need any more fire. They need somebody to make sense
(27:42):
of it. And I am just have enough sort of
experience or grace if you'll call that, to go, well,
here's my limitation of education on that field, Like you've
got to go see my wife. And it's it's true,
truly divine, and it's it's undeniable, and it's it's it's infinite,
(28:07):
and that's the thing that like I get to be
in the front seat of is is God. I get
to see God in all of these people. And it's
not a joke. It's not figurative like I see it,
and and it's and that's why I'm here, not here
(28:27):
to and I say, I'm here to give you a
Barbelle back squad properly. But that's that's just another method
of suffering, that's all it is. And it's I got
to dance with the devil, literally got to dance with
bail and Satan and the underwheld. I got to I
was fucking ringleader, man. And to now realize that there
(28:52):
is a completely other side of that that is is
so much stronger. And that's what I get to do now.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
For me, that that's the coolest aspect of your evolution
is to watch you as a as a teacher, as
a coach, as a guide, to really begin to refine
the process. And it's not just that, like you said,
it's not just the singular process of you know, the
proper deadlift for squad. I mean, it's so much more
(29:27):
and like you said, infinite. So what I want to
know is how you encapsulate both the tactical information as
well as the metaphysical and spiritual information in your coaching.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
All right, But.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
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Speaker 1 (31:00):
That's patriotmobile dot com Ford slash Rutherford or called nine
to seven to two Patriot. All right, Jeff, I want
to dig into your coaching a little bit more and
understand how you incorporate all these things. So, how do
you encapsulate you know, the I don't know, for lack
(31:21):
of a better term, the tactical information, as well as
the metaphysical, the theological, the soulful inflection, the development of
that peaceful content. How do you and your wife encapsulate
that so that people can experience that in you know,
(31:45):
the amount of time they can come and be with you, guys.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
I I make sure my goal for all of these
individuals that we train is to make sure that I'm
teaching coaching sharing not from a standpoint of if I
fail this way, do it this way so you don't
fail like me. Like that's there's only so many people
(32:12):
that are just like me in that way, which really
the real not difficult, but like the measure of patience
that's necessary to like get to know them, like really
see if we can draw out what makes them tick.
And that's where the that's where my wife comes in like,
(32:35):
that's not like we not even try to draw. It's
not like this pragmatic like let's sit around and talk
about our feelings, which is which is fine, Like that's
that's great, especially if you know somebody. But that's that's
like people are really guarded and should be and necessarily
like makes sense why they aren't super open because you
and I both know that the demographic a special operator
(32:57):
by and large isn't somebody that's uh, super authentic. We're
all trying to be this thing right, Like there's a
few that will meet along my way. Like the most
authentic seal I've ever met is Dan Corbett. Like he
wasn't like ever trying to be somebody like it was
it was. It was wild to see someone that free
and way the most violent one, most violent amazing humans
(33:21):
I've ever been around. Like if I had to go
to war, that's the dude I'm picking right, And it's like,
you don't know how there's another guy in my butt's
class that I always looked at like real odd like
and he wasn't questioning authority, he was just contemplating why
why are we doing it this way? And it drove
me fucking nuts because I was so objective. Do what
(33:41):
you're say, shut up and go. So what does that
have to do with what we do? There is I
I really enjoy to a degree And this is where
my wife really helps me, because I'm just I don't
have as much patience in that that world. But like
when people come to us and train with us for
six weeks, two days a week, whatever it might be,
(34:04):
we know, I know, and you know my wife knows too,
that there's a real sincerity. There's a seriousness to going
to do that job, a sincerity and like some guys
you're like certain about and we've been right, one hundred
percent of guy's going to go like that dude's got it,
like you just know, like it's the thing, right, there's
a real sense about that person. They crush it every time.
(34:26):
And there's a couple the majority of them, eighty percent
are trying to figure out, like their whole family thinks
they're crazy. Other friends think they're crazy, like what are
you doing? Why would you ever want to do this?
The world's after blah blah blah blah. There's a there's
a calling, and so they're still trying to like fulfill
this calling while they've had been been in steep judgment
(34:47):
against them, and like you said, the perception of the
people that are close to them going, you're crazy, And
so they're trying to figure that out, like where do
we fit into that? Where does this crazy navy seal in,
this really beautiful, amazing woman, how do they fit into
their perception and judgment with me? And once they get
that figured out, realize they're like holy shit, like they
(35:10):
they're just actually trying to be truthful, like really truthful,
not from a standpoint of fear. There's no fear mongering.
I don't I don't need to tell stories about how
dangerous it's going to be, like like it just or whatever, right,
Like I don't need doesn't need to be storytelling. And
so when they find out really quickly that I'm not
(35:31):
there to fucking tell stories or be their friend, and
I'm there to be honest, like completely fucking honest about
my problems, my shortcomings, and they may have nothing to
do with them, but each one of those guys, I'm
telling you when to be Like by week three, we're
sitting around on meditation and like every one of those
guys is in fucking tears because most of these guys
(35:54):
came from a place, were somewhere somewhere man like, just
like me, didn't feel like I was enough. And for
all these reasons, whatever they're good, they just are. That's society.
It's all blah, what are the stuff? But like, that's
that's that's the human condition. That's so cool. And instead
of us placing judgment upon them and do it my
(36:15):
way or else, or do it my way, you should
pray like me, you should do they no like they
can get a look around and all these guys were
sitting in a circle and are like you realize that,
like every fucking one of you are made perfectly in
the likeness of our creator. Like you, you're just are
like and for some reason, we all at some point
(36:36):
have felt like we just didn't fit in. But now
look around you, man like, you are surrounded by people
that will just go fucking all in. Why because they know,
not because it's a pragmatic definition, but they know just
like do you love your mother? Do you love God?
(36:57):
Do you love yes? And you can't define that and
you can't box it in and you can't put in
a book, and you can't put it in a podcast,
but you can surround people and you can make it
that energy is undeniable and infinite, and that's what we do.
It just you just people are so concerned with pleasing
(37:20):
other people before they then so themselves. And like, man,
like these men that show up, these young men that
show up, Man, that gives me so much hope because fuck, dude,
like we all know the world's fucking burning in some
way or another, and it just makes you just want
to be mad. And you're just like these guys traveled
(37:40):
all over the world. We have people come from Australia, Like,
we have people come from all over the world to
go do this thing that they're they're compelled to do.
Like if it ain't if it ain't divine, man, nothing
is like I don't there is nothing that brings me
closer to God than sitting around a circle of men
and going, this is it, man, this is this is
the other angels sitting here, man, Like, fucking real angels
(38:03):
sitting here. That's power, man, And that is power you
can't build. That is given, that is God given, and
that's that's it's There is nothing in my life more
beautiful than seeing that it's it's it's just God, man,
just God, It's just God.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
It's interesting. You know.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
I as I went back and I'm just you know,
scrolling through the stuff that you put out on on
your Instagram page and and YouTube and and you know,
I I just you know, you see, you know, an
expert in in your field. You see the competency and
(38:49):
your descriptions and your instruction and your tutelage and you know.
But then on the other side, you know, you did
a recent one about the book, the Russian book about training,
and you know, there's a heartfelt message behind like this
is real, Like this is real stuff that is in
this book that you should ingest, and you know, and
(39:10):
then you do these other aspects of of you know,
what you're trying to accomplish from that spiritual level too,
And and I see like this breadth of of of
information that's just growing and growing. Do you feel like
finally now you you are.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Able to what is it?
Speaker 1 (39:32):
It's almost overlay all those different planes of wisdom and
and and and kind of get that symbiosis to take
place where they fuse through the actions or deeds of
your students.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
With these guys I'm talking about there's such a sincerity
behind them, And there's such a sincerity behind men and
women that care firearms and do these just rescue people,
Like there's a there is nothing behind that that's not
truthful when you are actually digging into it. And so
those men and women are always looking for not an
(40:14):
advantage of yes it's an advantage, but they're just they're
tired of being bullshitted. And whether you're talking about faith,
your spirituality, you're talking about the biology, you're talking about
anything that we teach, it all comes from the same place.
(40:34):
It's all truthful because we don't need to make up,
we don't need to pair it, and we don't need
to kind of assume that the things that we've done
are unique to us, like they're just handed down information
and knowledge and wisdom and through experience. And like I
think that that's that's the thing, is that just like
(40:56):
me and just like you, why did we join the teams?
Like why do we do? Why do we authentically go
and do the thing and succeed? Like there was a
real there's a truth to that, Like it's we all
know guys that didn't get out what they wanted to
get out of it. Guys that this that. But but
even with our mistakes, right, even the things that like
the thing that like broke you, the thing, the team stuff,
(41:20):
it's like insane with me. It's like there's a real
truth to that. It actually happened. It's honest and and
and in the same way that's like, listen, like, what
are the one of the first things that christ said about, hey,
heal is sick? This was like, don't tell anyone? What
was the first thing they did telled everyone? And so
(41:40):
it's like that's what I'm saying, is like they're the
same thing, David. If I'm teaching somebody a Barbelle back squad,
that is my gateway to truth. It's if they're coming
for me to lift weights with me and learn and
all these things they've got trouble with, and I teach
them authentic and I'm like, this is this is all
(42:02):
within you and you can do it. What's the difference
of that between like, man, if I'm going to struggle,
I'm going a hard time with the relationships and I
don't try to fix it, certainly, maybe I can listen
to it, but I also just like authentically could be
like I understand I really do. I'm not trying to
say that. What you're feeling is like I have a
(42:22):
total grasp on it, and they're we're separate. No no, no,
no no, Like I can meet a person where they're
at acts truthfully, like I don't have to fix it.
But when I'm coming authentically, there's trust, there's rapport, there's relationship,
and so whether i'm it's like if I have given
(42:44):
them some really good information that's led to them improving
their movement patterns authentically and now they own it, that
person is very likely then to go, well, this person
talks about his faith and how strong it is and
how it's changed of the years, Like maybe that person
has something to offer me too, because I kind of
struggle with those things too. It's it's it and it's
(43:07):
and then that's really where my wife really comes into
is because it's not just about me, and it's very
easy for a husband and a wife to go we're
on the same line, we're doing the same stuff, and
we're doing like man like, it's not that my wife
finishes my sentences for me. Here's the true fact. Here's
something that will blow your mind away a little bit.
So we got married on Marcus's ranch right, and and
(43:32):
and so I went and did my first psychedelic journey
in Mexico. I didn't tell anyone except for my wife
and my mom, no one else, nobody else. And so
I'm driving across, coming across the border, and my phone
rings and Marcus is there, and I'm like, what's up, man,
(43:56):
He's like, welcome home. I'm like, I just know, man,
I could just know this, that and the other. So
from that standpoint on, I get home. I get home,
and more than ten times my wife would go like,
you need to call so and so. Call Marcus. He's
gonna call you. I mean within minutes, man, a call,
(44:18):
or or we'd be in our backyard. We had a
bunch of bald eagles in our backyard in Virginia Beach.
And almost every single time for the first year or
two after that, anytime I'd see a bald eagle, Marcus
would call or someone like you would call like no kidding,
like when that was the thing when you called. And
that last time my wife called it, she's like, you
(44:39):
need to check on so and so, you need to
do this, and and it's like she genuinely has this
sort of intuition that it was always a question by me.
I'd always pushed it down and pushed it down, you know,
like don't and it's there's a real and I'm not
going to get into. My wife's childhood is very, very
different than mine. And through that forging, we'll say, even
(45:03):
like they send the yours, there's certain behaviors and thoughts
and processes that really come to light. And when somebody
comes in, I can see the guys that were like
me in a way, right, and I can kind of
pick them out, and it's pretty obvious, but there's a
whole other side to that emotion. And she's able to,
(45:24):
I mean to like a creepy well at first, she's
able to like clearly define what they're experiencing and why
not from a standpoint of judgment. And so when you
start adding those two things up my ability to listen
(45:47):
to my intuition from a standpoint of non judgment of
people that I care for, and you add my wife
that same mix from a different set of eyes, from
a different set of compassion, from a different set of
a My wife is a fighter man, and she is
a tough, tough, tough human. She is one of the
most gentle beings I've ever been around, Like my mom,
like really like it's like my mom and her like symbiotic.
(46:10):
But my dad was so objectively amazing. It drove me
nuts as a child. He was so pragmatic and so
put together and so composed. That's my wife is my
Dad's a basically behavior being Like it's the same and
like I'm like, holy crap, Like the thing that drove
me nuts in the past, now I just adore. And
(46:30):
so you put that in a room with people that
are authentically raw like and that you let them loose,
with people like us that will just let them be themselves.
That's it's it's remarkable to see so many good humans
come together and build relationships and like you launched them
(46:53):
in the military, it's such a high success rate. We know,
I know, we don't see it just yet, but the
seeds that have been planted with these extremely extremely capable,
violent men, but they have this capacity and how to go,
hey man, I can put this down. We didn't I
(47:13):
didn't have that. I mean I tried it desperately to
seek it in prayer and the pews of a Catholic
church and things like that, and it had its value,
but it couldn't take that off.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Man.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
I didn't. I didn't know how to relinquish that violence
without feeling that I was giving something up that made me,
you know, like, hey, I'm gonna give up this violence.
I'm gonna go watch this movie. But I just know
that's weakness. I can't do that. And so to get
these people to understand that, like you can be extraordinarily
violent and like love on your great dame and your
(47:47):
kitten and like read comic books and do these things.
Still they're like, wait a minute, Like I thought you
were supposed to be this really fucking angry veteran that
just ah, yeah, I was good at that, man, but
it had its limits. Man, my hair falling out, teeth
getting rotten, like just health deteriorating. And it's like, all
(48:07):
that being said, it's weird that now, at forty seven,
after all those life experiences, it feels like I'm actually
a decent example as a human being, That's what. And
I don't I didn't have that, but I have it
now because I have my Yin and Yang, my wife,
she is like the complete balance of me, you know,
(48:31):
and all all some admittedly there it hasn't Mill Roads.
That's the thing is we've COVID in a weird way,
like we we If it weren't for COVID, we probably
wouldn't have survived as a relationship. Like we couldn't separate
because of the situations and things. And it was virutal.
It was never violent and like against each other. But
it just it forced me, not her. She had to
(48:53):
work to a bit, man it. I had to learn
how to communicate because I cared and I wasn't a
like I didn't like I had this real love and
compassion for somebody. And then that that like to take
the two of us and put them in front of
these people, that's it, Like it's not really about me.
It's it's it's wildly not about me anymore. And I
(49:17):
love that because it's not the Jeff Show anymore. And
I God, that was awful, Like I was just a
ego driven, fucked hard man. Like what a shitty person
I was behaving like and I and I'm so good
to not be that anymore. It's just so free.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
I love that you express it like that.
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Man, I you know, and I I you know again,
I think that's what people are trying to find in themselves.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Right, they're trying to find that freedom.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Right from from those behavioral patterns, from those emotional shortfalls,
and from that spiritual whatever, that devoid of spirituality. They
they they that's consuming them. They're they're looking for that
kind of freedom. And I just think it's it's really
special that you and your wife are out there and
(50:11):
and offer that that kind of opportunity for people, you know,
whether it's young men wanting to go into service, or
it's just people wanting to get healthy. And I think,
you know, that's the conduit for that truth in us
is through our physicality, through our emotional health, through our
spiritual health.
Speaker 2 (50:31):
You know, what is it?
Speaker 3 (50:32):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Do you think that you guys, if people are interested
and they want to, you know, they want to understand
what they're going to receive from you, how would you
describe the experience that they're going to have if they
come to your farm, or or even if you you
coach online or whatever it might be. What? What is?
(50:53):
What is the truth that you're going to help them
discover in themselves?
Speaker 3 (50:58):
Yeah, I think the big thing is I'm actually I'm
actually I'm really concerned about I'm just saying, like I
really want to know what what's what's what? What are they?
What do they want? Like what what do you want?
Because a lot of them are like tactical population, military, police,
fire or whatever it might be. Said my my wife
just had a zoom call and did a meditation with
(51:19):
a surgeon from Texas because just person that experienced trauma
and a cancer ward and just surgery. And then like
how do I put that down? Like I do believe
that religion has a real good place because it's it's
it's a real good foundational thing, but some people kind
of get lost in the pragmatism of it.
Speaker 4 (51:41):
It's a little bit like what but but like I
just got to do this ritualistic thing and it may
not it may not speak to somebody. And that's and
that's that's not a slight towards religion. It's just sometimes
someone's seeking the heart.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
And I think that when people come to us, because
I have experience in that space, but I don't presume
to think that I have all the answers based on
my experience. And so when we talk to them, we
see them and coaching calls or in person, what we're
trying to do is bring out of them, like where
(52:14):
are you at? What what got you here? Like where
what are you really having trouble with? Like and if
you're not honest, and that's too bad. But like like
we share our own personal stories to say, hey, I'm
not afraid to be to be exposed because it's not
like I don't care what you think. It's like no, no,
like these these positions of me sharing with you are
(52:34):
in all of branch for you understand that, like I'm
not I'm not trying to compete with you with what
your suffering is or the trouble. I'm not trying to
compete with you. I'm just trying to share with you
that I just might understand what suffering is or having
trouble with this. It's like, you know, like we've had
a couple of guys that grew up in a very
very very traditional Mormon polygamous life. We've had three, and
(53:02):
all three of them that we've hit experienced have really
had a massive emotional blowback from the things they've seen,
things they don't agree with why they left the church.
And this is not like it's it's like that in
all the time. It's like we see in catholosity. So
just as an example, because I I don't care what
your faith is. I just care that you love God
(53:24):
and so whatever that path is, that's fine. But we
but what But I can't. I can never. I've never
experienced that in the Mormon Church. I've only experienced really
good friends that are Mormon, and they don't like you know,
So I'm not trying to compete with my suffering and theirs.
But for us to say, hey, we can meet you
and recognize that, hey, you're struggling and it's okay, because
(53:50):
that's pretty that's a pretty pretty severe experience and it's
going to take you some time to work through that.
So my side is like, let's work through that with
good physical suffering, good physical effort. Let's let's get that aligned.
And that falls into what are you eating, how are
you sleeping, what supplements are using? Like, let's let's sort
out this amazing one. The one gift, the one physical
(54:11):
gift we get on this birth is this Ferrari or Lamborghini.
That's what I get to deal with, and that's my conduit.
I don't have. I don't have the intuitive grace that
my wife does in the spiritual side. So we team up,
and if it's not me, they think, oh god, I can.
I'll fix your back squat all day if you give
a shit, if you really care and you want to
(54:32):
do this and do these, and guy, that's I got
the easy job, Dave, I got the real super easy job.
But then it's like, hey, have you ever thought about
these things? It's off my plate. They look at me,
and I'm like, I'm not the teacher. I'm this. I
get to be the student when my wife is teaching
every time, you know, And so like, I think that
(54:54):
that's what they actually get. They get. They get two
people that don't pretend to be something they're not. They're
highly skilled in the things that we do. But that's
not because we're trying to mirror our own excuses or
mirror our own fault and mirror own chinks and armor.
We're just saying, hey, this human experience is fucking hard, man,
(55:17):
whether it's be a Navy seal or it's the things
you do after when you're not wearing the Navy seal hat.
Life is really can be hard. But you know what,
when you get a handle on it and you're authentic
God almighty. It's good.
Speaker 2 (55:35):
Amen to that. Brother.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
Thank you so much for coming on with me and
just sharing the deepest of your thoughts. And I just
love listening to you get me all excited and fired
up about my own truth in my life and getting
healthy myself on a regular basis. And I just I
love you to death, brother, And I cannot wait to
(56:00):
see and get to hug your wife in person and
thank her for what she's done for my friend. And
I just you're such a powerful person and you're doing
such good for people.
Speaker 2 (56:12):
I just I just really appreciate you, man. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
Yeah, you know, the feeling is mutual. You never know,
like you never know where people is going to cross
because I know you are part of my SQT staff, right,
and like there isn't a lot of recollection of that
initiation of a friendship, right, and then fast forward to
wherever we get and you go there are just certain
people in your life that like matter, like really matter,
(56:40):
and you're one of them. And that's never like that's
you know, it's gonna be fucking really rad. Is beyond
this experience, you and I can go do it. The
travel the Cosmor Center fucking service sur surfboard or whatever
whatever we gonna do. Man, I don't care what is,
but infinitely get enjoy this space of and compassion right
(57:01):
And it's like I don't know what it holds beyond this, man,
but like we get snapshots of real truth and love
in this, in this human experience. And if there's a
real abundance beyond this, and I know that there is, Man,
it isn't alone. It's with people like you forever. And
so that's what you know. It's like, I that's a
(57:22):
hard part of like strong on my spirituality. I don't
want to check out too early. And that's that's so
that's a real thing that you guys can get get
glommed on. But uh, in the future, it's this isn't
a this isn't a plug. But I just want to
You're gonna get an invitation here probably in the spring.
My wife and I want to do what's basically called
it like a farmstrong people that are really really really
(57:43):
care about invite them out here and you share like
it's the best food, the best training, the best spiritual
like and it's just you bring in you. We we
make our owlune returgent, make our own dedodorant. We do
all this like so like let's we have a raw
dairy farm just up the street, and it's like, let's
bring in like the best of the best, each of us.
You bring in your just and you just share your
(58:04):
space in this space of grace and like that's it.
Like that's community and fellowship, man, And like we have
weights and food and so everyone brings their own peace
and so be looking for that because it's like that
matters to me. Community matters to me, and you are
very much in my inner circle of community.
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Thank you, man, I appreciate that. Jeff, Jeff, where can
people find your programs? Pay attention?
Speaker 3 (58:34):
And what are they?
Speaker 1 (58:36):
You just gave a little drop for the farmstrong in
the spring, But where else can people engage with you
and your wife and really pull out this truth that
people are so desperately looking for right now?
Speaker 3 (58:50):
Yeah, I guess you know. Instagram is kind of my
sort of bulletin board of information. It's Jeff CSCs. We
have a YouTube channel as well, that's kind of in
our website is Performance first us dot com. And kind
of how it works is like we get only so
many people who can train in person, so basically all
of our written programs or downloaded programs on our website,
(59:12):
but every single exercise that's in that program there's a
direct demonstration on our YouTube channel. So it's kind of
that's the interface. You know, we do in person training
and things like that. But like Instagram and social media
is kind of our our launching point and you know,
maybe it'll evolve from there, but you know, we're just
trying to reach out to many people as we can.
And that's right now, that's our avenue. And my wife
(59:34):
also it's she has her Instagram too and and things
like that. But like it's you know, it's if you're
coming to performance first, you're sending email, You're you're talking
to my wife. She's my ghostwriter. She's put more people
through Buds than I and it basically other than myself
and Stu Smith. So if you've sent an email to
my our website in the last seven years, she's answered
(59:55):
it all. Like it's truly like my wife's background too.
She's a drink conditioning co. She's been doing it for
as long as I have. She's had amazing mentors in
college and things like that, so she is you know,
she is the most truly fit female I've ever been around,
like a forty three year old woman to two back surgeries,
two shorder surgeries can knock out twelve thirteen fourteen pull
(01:00:16):
ups at will, just like all right, well, let's do
that like so that she's easy to reach. But don't
don't don't uh, don't underestimate her, her soul because it's
it's a it's something.
Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
It is something, all right, brother, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
I love you, man, God bless you and your wife
and everything you guys are doing.
Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
Appreciate day. I love you too, man,
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show News
Hosts And Creators
Clay Travis
Buck Sexton
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Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!