December 15, 2025 • 42 mins
In this episode of The Tudor Dixon Podcast, Tudor sits down with Delano Squires to examine the growing challenges facing young men in today’s society. They discuss shifting gender dynamics, cultural expectations, and how political messaging shapes identity, purpose, and responsibility. The conversation highlights the value of traditional roles, personal accountability, and the importance of men and women working together to build strong families and a flourishing society. They also explore the intersection of race and gender politics, critique the rise of a victimhood mentality, and make the case for restoring balance and mutual respect in modern gender relations.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. Today. We are going
to talk a lot about young men right now. That
is the question on both sides of the political aisle
is how do we talk to young men. There has
been this push to kind of demonize young men and
almost say that if you're going to say positive things
about young women, then you have to say negative things
(00:22):
about young young men. And now politically it seems like
the world is going well, how do we win back
young men? So I have an expert on young men
with me, Delano Squires. He is a research fellow for
the Heritage Foundation Center for Human Flourishing. So tell us, Delano,
how do we make young men flourish in this country?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Well, thank you for having me Twitter. I think the
first thing is to acknowledge that men and women need
one another. We cannot have a functioning society or culture
if our politics are bills on fomenting disdain and discord
between the sexes. Right, so the gender war politics are
(01:08):
failing politics. It doesn't matter if they are coming from
sort of the Andrew Tait redpill right or the blue
haired feminists left. Either way you go that those types
of politics are failing politics. So I think the first
thing is to acknowledge that that, you know, men and
women need one another in very fundamental ways. I think
the second thing is to acknowledged that for the better
(01:30):
part of about sixty years, the political left has been
demonizing men and in some ways, in many ways, have
gone from fighting sexism to fighting masculinity itself. So I
think acknowledging where we have gone wrong and then being
able to say, Okay, now, let's let's look at young
men first as individuals, but then let's ask ourselves whether
(01:52):
there are whether there are issues that that young men
and boys and even adult males are facing that are
being caused by public policy, that are being exacerbated by
social norms, and if so, what are some ways that
we can roll those things back and make progress as
we move into the future.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You know, you said something about the far left and
the far right and how they've come after men in
different ways, and I'm almost I used to be the
person that was like, oh my gosh, this is radical,
and this is going out there and it's getting into
the minds of young people, and this is radical on
the other side, and it's also doing the same thing.
Now I'm a little bit worried about the I don't
(02:33):
know how to describe it, like the empathetic center where
it's like, you know, we as women are told you
can do it all by yourself, you don't need a man.
It's not so much that you consciously think men are bad.
It's that you're you are elevating yourself above anything else
and saying I can do this all alone. I want
(02:54):
to focus on me. You had someone you had an
interview on your Twitter with a woman. It wasn't it
was someone else that was interviewing here. It was a
woman named doctor Cheyenne Bryant, and she was talking about
not being in menopause yet She's forty. I'm not in menopause.
I'm still having a period every month. I can still
have a baby. And that was like a celebration. I
(03:15):
think it's an interesting I had my youngest when I
was thirty six, so my oldest I had when I
was thirty two. It's one of those things that once
you do it and you are in your thirties and
you have your first child, you go, why did I
not do this earlier? And you start to see how
age affects your life in a major way, and I
see this now. Just talked to a friend last night
(03:36):
and said, oh, one of our friends is pregnant at
forty eight. And I think you don't know what you
don't know, But we as a society have not been
fair to telling people this should happen young, It should
happen together. You shouldn't say your career is more important
than your family, because at the end of life, it's
your family that is there for you.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, I mean, and Nyessa, I think I posted that
clip you know, yes, Sara a few days ago, and
she she was making this point that now she's ready
to have kids, and you know, she's more financially stable
than she would have been, let's say, in her twenties
or even in her thirties. Part of my commentary is
that I didn't hear her mention a husband in this
(04:15):
sort of arrangement. So my sense is that her only
interests in men is in their reproductive material. And I
think part of, you know, going back to the question
you ask, part of the reason that we are in
the situation we are right now is because across society,
from multiple different institutions, we have been selling the notion
(04:37):
that men are actually that society actually does not need men,
that families do not need men. So you know, whether
it's women proudly declaring, well, I don't need a man
right in order to have a family, I can do
it all by myself, particularly if I have enough resources,
I can do by myself. So in that sense, men
(04:58):
become almost like appendix of the family, nice to have,
but not particularly necessary. Whereas we think of mom as
the heart and soul. So the idea that we could
have a functioning society with whatever some significant percentage of
women who are disaffected, disconnected, have sort of tenuous relationships
(05:20):
with their children, everyone will see them as a crisis.
But when it comes to men, we say, well, everybody
can function in the same ways that they have before.
And I think that is a colossal mistake. And as
I said, part of this is public policy. I mean,
it starts extremely young, when boys are in school and
we expect them to behave and do all the things
(05:41):
that girls do. And anyone who has children, particularly if
you have one of each, I have four, I have
two of each. You can see the differences in children
in boys and girls, and how they play, and how
they communicate, and how they interact socially with their peers
and how they interact with their parents. You can see
(06:02):
those sex differences coming out at a fairly young age, right,
my sons who are seven and five, there was a period,
there was a season in life where whenever I came home.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
They would they wouldn't just run and hug me, they
would head butt me.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
They would they would play fight, they would slap, they
would want that type of rough housing. My daughters have
never done that. My daughters aren't as a as a
matter of sort of communication, don't head butt me right
and say, okay, dad is home, let let me let
me bang into his leg, because that's just not how
they operate. So I think part of why we have
(06:35):
this problem is because we have accepted quietly the idea
of sort of this this androgis in this, this sort
of cultural androgyny, that men and women are exactly the same.
So so we just have problems recognizing that men and
(06:56):
women are equal in dignity and worth but different in
form and function. And until we're willing to acknowledge that,
we're going to continue to have some of these problems.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Well, I think culture has really compounded this issue because
I just saw a survey that said that a majority
of men say they would be fine with thee their
wife being the main bread winner in the house. They
would be fine being the stay at home dad. They
look at this as a success, a successful relationship. And
(07:25):
I'm not saying that you can't be that, but I
do believe that there is there are different roles. Just
like you said that the young boy is different when
dad comes in the house than the young girl. I
also think that raising the family and being the one
that is making lunch and teaching reading, there is a
difference between mom and dad. And we have pushed this
(07:46):
like there's no difference, there's no difference. Well that's that's
simply not true. But we've also created a society of
men who have decided I will let my wife go
do the main breadwdding do the hard job, be the executive,
and I'll stay home. And what happens at the house
is much different. And people can complain to me that
(08:08):
this is not true, it is true. What happens at
the house is different than what would have happened with
the house with mom being there. Dad is very different
the way he interacts with the kids when it comes
to being stayed home all day. We also have this
society you mentioned it of little boys can't be little
boys in school, and it is this push that is
(08:29):
compounded by a lack of parenting at home, but also
this push of teachers going to the house and saying,
you gotta medicate. We've seen success with this with other kids.
And I'm not ripping on teachers here. I think that
this is a cultural issue where we have stopped telling
kids you have to behave to a certain extent in
(08:49):
the classroom, understanding though that boys are going to be
more active, they're going to have trouble sitting in their seats,
and compounding that with just medicate them and make them
zombies and let the classroom be calm.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, I think you make some fantastic points, and this
point about breadwinning, so call it. Fifty years ago, about
eighty five percent of men were either the primary or
sole breadwinner. Today the household is much more egalitarian. That's
a down to about fifty five percent. I believe about
(09:25):
twenty nine percent of households have sort of a shared
breadwinner model. And many people realize is that in a
lot of places it takes or at least it feels
like it takes two incomes in order to survive. And
then the remaining number of women are sole breadwinner. So
that's still a fairly small percentage. But I think a
(09:47):
couple of things have happened. One is that sort of
in the post second wave feminist world, the vocations of
mother and wife have been degraded across the culture. So
the way I say it is this, our society celebrates
any woman who runs a large, complex organization, unless it's
(10:10):
our home. And we love women who dedicate.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
With that is such a good point.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
And and and and likewise, we love women who dedicate
themselves to training the next generation, unless it's their own children.
So so so part of it is that the fight
of the Betty Ferdan's and the Glorious Steinems wasn't just
or we need more access to education and and you know,
the economic opportunity for women. It was the home itself
(10:36):
is a prison, and we need to free and liberate
women from the home. And and what that does is
again it devalues those vocations, and it devalues the purpose.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Of the home.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
So the root word for economy is a Greek word
economia that talks about the household. So it's actually about
the household, and the household should be in ideally a
hub of productive, economic, spiritual, educational, social, and relational activity,
(11:10):
but for a lot of people it's just a place
to lay your head. So my thing is that both
men and women need to understand that generally speaking, we
have so we gravitate to particular roles because I believe
that that's how we were designed by God. And what
we've been doing for sixty plus years is fighting against
our nature. And that's why everybody seems so frustrated, because
(11:34):
we've rejected the idea that there are particular roles that
we are supposed to fill. And one of the things
that I say, nobody is truly a feminist. And I'll
give you an example. If something goes bump in the night,
right at two in the morning, and I turn over
to my wife and I say, look, last time this happened,
(11:54):
I went but you know me, I'm a good male
feminist ally.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So this time I'll let you go.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Right.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
She would be on the phone to a divorced lawyer
by tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
And part of this problem going back to men, is
that the societal expectations for men have been fairly inelastic
for sixty years. It always starts with the same two
p's for everybody across the board. It's men are supposed
to provide and to protect, now across sort of social norms.
(12:31):
Sometimes people don't want to acknowledge that, and even some
men are saying, you know, wh I'm more than a paycheck,
which is true, but that's the baseline. The problem is
when you try to enter into a dance and one
person knows, or let's say a song and one person
knows what part they're supposed to be singing, and the
other person it says, I don't want to be held
(12:52):
down to any particular part because if you ask, if
you ask, if anyone men or women, okay, men are
supposed to provide and protect, what are women supposed to do?
Then you're going to get people said, well, I don't
want to say what women are supposed to do because
I don't want to put boundaries around that. And this
is where you have this discord between the sexes. And
(13:12):
it's frustrating because oftentimes modern women are looking for traditional men,
but don't expect men to want them to play traditional roles.
And this is part of the disconnect between the sexes.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on
the Tutor Dixon Podcast. So what I will say is
I think that too often, this modern woman role, what
women aren't coming out and saying the women who have
gone through this and they have kids and they are
the executive and they are married, they're not saying, well,
(13:51):
that traditional role still falls on me. So ultimately, I've
piled on a massive amount of work and we're stressed
and were hired, and we are not giving our best
to our kids because we were overworked. I saw something
just a couple days ago, and it was one of
these things on social media where a man said, my
wife came to me and she said, it's December. I'm
(14:13):
so stressed out. I'm so afraid I'm not going to
get Christmas done. And he said, it'll work out. It's
no big deal. It always works out. It'll work out.
It's no big deal. And he said, I totally ignored
what she said because I was like, once we get
to Christmas, it'll happen. And he said, on Christmas Eve,
I came downstairs and I saw her feverishly wrapping all
(14:34):
the gifts by herself stressed. It was two am. I
had been asleep. I came down and he said, in
that moment, I realized what I had done. I had said,
it'll work itself out. Christmas will come, no matter what
he said. And then in that moment, I realized, my
wife is Christmas. And it hit me so hard because
(14:55):
I was like, this is what women won't say because
we are afraid to admit it is so hard. We
are afraid to admit we are overwhelmed, we are barely
hanging on. But this mom was the perfect example of
the wife who is working, who is getting the lunch
is made, who's driving the kids to school, and at
the end of the night she texts the kids in
(15:16):
and then she makes Christmas happen, which seems like a
crazy when you have four You have four kids. I
have four kids. You know that that night before you
are like, ah, I have just a few hours, you know.
And that is just a example of what a woman
is actually pulling all together. And so often the men
(15:37):
are not even told because nobody wants to admit. No.
Women have so much on their plates right now because
they're doing it all.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
And that's the frustration.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
And I think a lot of women feel, and part
of that is because of the expectations that have misst
yes and for a lot of women, they've let it
happen right, Like they've heard we can have it all,
and some people may say that that's true, but you
certainly can't have it all at the same time, because
time is the one thing that they're not making more of.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You can you can fake having more money. You can
just run up, run up credit. But no one has
a credit card for time, So everybody gets the same
number of hours, and trying to cram more and more
things into those hours is increasingly difficult. I mean, my
wife was a social worker in DC for about five years.
Over I worked in DC government before coming to Heritage.
(16:28):
We overlapped for about five years. We actually worked in
the same building. Once we had our third child, we
realized we were paying someone basically a mortgage to take
care of our two younger children, and she was spending
all day helping other people take care of their children,
so we decided to cut out the middleman. She's been
a stay at home mom and home educator for the
(16:48):
last five years, and that in and of itself is
a full time job right, she is basically running at
bed and breakfast and a schoolhouse and sort of stewarding
sort of an organization in and of itself.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Those are like three full time jobs. So the expectation
that she could would do those things and also work
outside the home just puts a lot of stress on her,
and it just makes a lot of women feel burded.
This doesn't mean that everyone woman needs to be a
state at home mom or or a home educator, But
what I would say is that lifting up those vocations
(17:34):
is one of the most important things that anyone in
the public sphere could do. Those things are critically important.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I think young men have been afraid to take on
those traditional roles of even protect and provide because they
are afraid of stepping on the woman's toes. I hear
so often now young men saying I don't know if
I should go up to a woman and say, oh,
I just caught your I caught a glimpse of you
across the bar. You're beautiful, you know, because that's suddenly
insult or opening the door on a first date. They
(18:02):
don't know, they don't know where they stand in this
new world of feminism and the feminism used to be that,
and it's gone to an even greater extreme. And we
do have when we talk about the extremes on the
left and the right, we do have some also strange
messaging coming out on the left and the right. And
I will pick on the right right now, because I've
(18:25):
seen some really bizarre messaging coming out of the right
like this. I don't even like to say his name,
but I see this interview with Nick Fuentes and Piers Morgan,
and Piers Morgan is like, I mean, you hate women.
He absolutely, women are horrible. And this is a man
who's never been in a relationship, never had any intimacy
(18:46):
with a woman, never felt the tension or love of
a woman. And you have to wonder, how did this
How is this messaging of becoming an asexual man? And
yet he's saying that he wants to be the dominant,
the dominant cultural society leader in the United States. Well,
(19:08):
but he doesn't that want to have any children of
his own, Like, how did this happen that we have
this group of asexual men that hate women but they
want to be the dominant, Like this is a whites
only group. Well, you're not going very far if that's
your method, I.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Mean, your analysis of Flintis and particularly his main message,
is far more sophisticated than what I see on social
media or what I hear from anyone else, because you're
you're pointing out the tensions in his message. On one hand,
Nick Fintez will say that there's a white genocide going
on and white people are becoming a global minority. On
(19:46):
the other hand, Nick Flintes will say one he'll say,
you know, I'll only marry a white woman, but he'll
spend that will be one minute, and he'll spend the
next fifty nine minutes talking about how much he doesn't
like women. So I don't know how a guy who's
leading a movement and telling the other guys in the
movement that women are really not people that I want
(20:09):
to spend a lot of time with. I'm not interested
in them, you know, whether in friendship or romantically. But
we want to repopulate the earth with more white babies, right.
So I think that's a tension that very few other
people have pointed out. But I think it's important because
of all the things that people accuse Nick flint Is
(20:29):
of right racism, anti semitism, so on and so forth.
The gender war is far more important for the future
of our country than online ethnic tension. Right, you can
have ethnic tension in a country, or you can have
(20:50):
ethnic tension between countries, or religious tension or sectarian tension
between countries. I do not know of a single country
where it is a single country this is the country
only of men, and this is one only of women,
because men and women need each other in ways that
different racial groups do not.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I think that only happens in the movie Wonder Woman,
where there's an ilace of Amazon women.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Right right right, So it can't it can't happen in
real life. And that's why I'm far more concerned with
the way that young men are beginning to think about
and speak about women. And again, on the feminist left,
this has been going on for sixty plus years. So
now it's just the horseshoe effect where both both camps
are telling their respective members that the other side, the
(21:37):
other sex, is no good, that marriage and family are
a bad deal, and that you should avoid it because
you are either going to lose yourself and this is
this is sort of the Betty for Dan left, or
you're going to lose your stuff, which is more of
the sort of the Nick Fuentes, right, and I think
that's a bad deal. I'm seeing some signs of hope right.
(21:59):
I recently post did it was. It was a short
conversation between the governor of Maryland where I'm a resident, right,
Wes Moore, and and a podcaster named Van Lathan, where
he said that in the state of Maryland they're doing
a lot to center the needs of boys and men,
and he said that we can't have a function in
(22:19):
society if if our boys are and our men are struggling. Now,
he didn't say specifically what the state is doing, and
I certainly would like to learn more about that, but
I was struck by the fact that he talked about
boys and men taking their rightful place. I'm not sure
if he said in the family, certainly said in society.
That type of language, the acknowledgment that boys and men
(22:43):
are a group a category of people who have specific needs,
the acknowledgement that boys and men have specific roles and
and the acknowledgement that boys and men or or the
desire to see boys and men take their rightful place,
that is not language that people on the left typically use.
(23:03):
When it comes to boys and men, it's typically to
the extent that they talk about masculinity. It's about using
men using their masculinity on behalf of quote unquote marginalized groups.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
So it's about being a good ally.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Not that's something politically that I think the left really
needs to come back and say as well, because if
I look at what's happened, and I mean, I know
the right also needs to come and lift up the man.
But I would say on the left, there was a
weird movement where it was like, we want to not
see color, we want to bring everybody in, we want
(23:36):
to lift up every person. And then suddenly I will
say this, and you may disagree with me, but it
was suddenly they overlooked the black mail and they said
we're going to lift up black women, and we are
going to lift up white trans men or trans women.
I don't even know the men who become women. And
then if you look at the leaders in the last administration,
(24:00):
it was like they totally overlooked the black man and
and men in general. But I think that really they
say they come out and they go to these communities
like I'm in Michigan, they go to Detroit, and they
say we're here for you, but they overlook the fact
that black men have not had leadership positions, enough leadership
positions in their party. I mean, got my gosh. In Michigan,
(24:22):
in the communities that are minority communities that are mostly
residents of color, they are not acknowledging that they have
white people representing them. I mean, it's so bizarre to me.
They got the jerrymannered the districts so that you can't
have black representation in a minority based community. How can
(24:46):
that possibly be that black men don't go wait a minute,
this party doesn't care about me. And I am not
saying that there is not work to be done to
raise men up across this country, But how is it
not I've seen that black men are being left behind
on the left.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Oh boy, tutor, you about to this is again? You
hit the nail on the head. I'll say it for
the audience this way.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
When Democrats show up to talk to black women, they say,
vote for me, and I can make you vice president,
I can make you a Supreme Court justice. When they
show up to speak to black men, they say, vote
for me and I'll keep you from becoming George Floyd.
It's a very different message. For women, they push leadership.
For men, they push protection. The reason for this is
(25:38):
because the most significant interracial union in American history is
not the one recognized in Loving versus Virginia. It is
the marriage between black feminists and white liberals that has
powered the Democratic Party for the past sixty years. And
in that arrangement, the women get something out of the deal.
(26:04):
The party and the politicians and the bureaucracts get something
out of the deal, and black men are sort of
left on the outside looking in, begging for scraps in
a party that they vote for at an eighty five
percent plus clip, but they are spoken down to.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
They are ignored.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
If any significant maybe one or two percent, suggests that
they might vote for the other side, all of the
party apparatus comes together and says, shame on you, black men.
They get hectored and lectured by people like Barack Obama
in Pennsylvania. They say, shame on you, how dare you
not support this black woman for president or for governor?
(26:46):
And what I'm saying is this, the dynamics that we
see playing out politically within the black community are dynamics
that start in the home, and when you talk about
black men not having leadership, that starts in the home.
Eight percent of Black children in this country are born
to unmarried parents. About forty five percent of black children
live with a single mother. That means that to be
(27:08):
a Black child born to and raised by your married
mother and father for the first eighteen years of your
life is now an exception and not the rule. And
those disjointed family dynamics work themselves out everywhere in society.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Now.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
It's easy for us to see it in the schoolhouse,
in the courthouse, and in the jail house, but it
also works itself out in the ballot box and in
the way that the left particularly messages to men and women,
to black men and black women about what it is
that they are going to provide. And what makes it
worse is that the political machinery exacerbates this sex conflict
(27:50):
because they are constantly telling black women that you are
the backbone.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Of the party.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
You save the party, you save democracy, you save the country,
you saved the world. And to black men, what they
say is you guys should follow black women.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on
the Tutor Dixon podcast. So it's interesting that you say
that because it's reminding me. I saw one of these
men on the street interviews where they went and they
interviewed a bunch of black men about Kamala Harris and
they said, well, what do you think? Then overwhelmingly these
men said, my mother would be so mad at me
(28:28):
if I didn't vote for Kamala Harris. And I think
if you look across the spectrum, men generally have huge
respect for their mothers, regardless of their ethnic background. But
in this case, it seemed like there was this innate
understanding that I want to please my mother and this
(28:49):
is the party that will please women. Is that something
that you see amongst black men in your communities? In
these communities, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
The only place that you may hear guys saying something
different may be a barbershop where you have sort of
a closed space that's primarily male dominated. But generally speaking,
when when and the exit polling sort of this makes sense, right.
Eighty plus percent of Black men vote for Kamala Harrison
(29:26):
twenty twenty four. Eighty plus percent of Black men vote
for whoever the Democrat is for president for the at
least the last six to seven election cycles.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
So that's that's not a surprise.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
But what happens is, let me let me draw this
parallel when Democrats, and this started in twenty sixteen and
they've done it for the last couple of election cycles.
When they talk to white women, they say, don't be
a part of the fifty three percent that votes for
Donald Trump, right, don't don't follow your husband in terms
of what he does at the ballot box. So for
(29:59):
some of those women men, let's say center right moderate,
there's a certain discomfort with publicly acknowledging hey, no, I
do want to vote for Trump, and partly is because yes,
I am in alignment with my husband. There's a there's
a similar reluctance for for a subset of black men
who either will know in their heart of hearts this
(30:21):
party does not represent me or my values. It has
no place for men in traditional homes and relationships or
traditional modes of thought. But I'm going to do it
because this is the right choice. This is the voting
blue is the black choice. That that's how that's how
many of them will do it. And even for the
ones who may have voted for Trump or you know,
(30:41):
vote conservative, if they do it, they do it silently.
They're not posting bumper stickers and they're not wearing maga hats.
There's there's a subset that will and those those people
are out loud and proud to be conservative, I'll say
it that way, But there's a chunk there in the
middle who who will will go along because they don't
(31:03):
want to fight either with their wife, their girlfriend, the
mother and their children or their mother.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
And that's why my hope.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Is that as particularly the black family becomes more intact, right,
as we have a revival and marriage and a reconstruction
of the family, and I'm actually writing a book on
this very topic, my hope is that eventually what we'll
see is that those household dynamics will begin to take
shape and there will be some order in the home.
(31:32):
Because every other group of men vote more conservatively conservatively
than their women, and the same thing for black men.
But again, the consistent messaging is that black men should
follow black women when it comes to politics, and that
is a message that I feel is unique to the
black community.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Absolutely, But I also it's resonating with me that we
have a young men problem. As I'm listening to you
regardless of race. We have a young man problem. And
what you just said to me kind of shook me awake.
That we keep saying how do we talk to young men?
But it's young women who are dictating how young men
should be thinking. And so how do we change that
(32:14):
perception with young women? And I go back to the
fact that when you are a young woman, you don't
know what it is to be a mom and have
a career and try to do all of the things
while you are crapping all over young men. You know,
I mean, did not say it in any better way.
When you are trashing the protect and provide model and
(32:40):
you're saying I don't need that, you suddenly get to
a point where you can't come back out and say, actually,
that was what I needed. How do we bring that back?
How do we show young women that you can't do
it by yourself? Is not that you can't do it,
you can't do it alone.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Well, I think part.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Of this this I'll say this way, this start.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
This must start in the home.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
So so for dads who are husbands who have children,
it's about mom and dad modeling. So the right type
of relationship first and foremost, because more is caught than
it's taught. So it doesn't matter what I say is
as a dad, if my if my children see me
mistreating my wife, if they see me abdicating my responsibilities
in my home. So first and foremost is me playing
(33:25):
my part, my God given role. But but we need
more men, you know, who are taking their families to church,
who are leading them spiritually, who love their wives, so
that a young a boy gets to see what it
looks like when his dad truly loves his mom. Right,
(33:46):
when you truly love your wife, that doesn't mean you
just roll over and and well, you know whatever my
wife says. You know, I'm just a fifth child. No, no, no,
that's that's not it.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
We don't. We don't.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Lead by serving, We serve by leading. So when he
gets to see you in that role, right, showing affection, protecting,
decision making, all those things, playing with him in your
siblings right, sort of helping to create an atmosphere of
togetherness and unity in the home. Now you're giving him
(34:22):
something to pattern himself after. But you're also giving your something,
your daughter something to look for in a potential mate.
So I think a big part of it is modeling
as well as sort of the teaching and instructing that
goes on as children go from very young to teenage
to young adulthood.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Well, I think this is so important for us to
also consider politically what's going on right now. We have
so many of these social media influencers who I love
what you said. You want to be taking your child
to church, you want to be the leader, the spiritual
leader of the home. And yet I see these influencers
who they say they're Christian, but they are going in
(35:04):
and they're attacking communities, They're attacking other faiths. They're saying
that this faith is bad and they're going to destroy us.
Instead of saying, hey, I want to get with my
church and bring more people to my church, grow what
I have, grow what I think is beautiful and right
and valuable. Instead I'm going to try to devalue what
someone else has. And Yet, in those families, the father
(35:26):
is the leader of the home, the father is home
every night, there is a strong community and building of
community and building of family. We have to focus. If
you believe that Christianity is the future and that that
is the way to live, you should focus inward. Say
how do I expand my church, how do I bring
people into my area instead of trying to attack and
(35:48):
shut down the others. And I think that's something that
we have really struggled with in the conservative community. But
the church will lead. I mean, the church will will
create culture, and it will create the culture that we
as Christians would like to expand.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
And I think you hit on something in terms of
one of the signs of the decline of men and
boys in this country is the embrace of victimhood. And
I've certainly seen this on the left for decades, and
now I'm seeing the right doing the same thing. This
is not to say that there are not legitimate political
(36:25):
or policy or even cultural issues to be addressed publicly, right,
and that could be the compatibility of different cultures, whether
East and West, the different religious face. I'm actually I'm
okay with having some of those debates publicly. What worries
me is when even I'll see some even some of
(36:46):
the Christian pastors that I that I follow, they will
act as if well, all of the problems facing young
men and some of them were going further say, young
white men today are problems that are caused by those
people over there by some external force, and and I
just don't think you can live life that way. That
(37:08):
doesn't mean that there aren't that they are never external
forces acting upon you. But if I don't if I
don't want to go out and look for a job,
if I spend all day looking at porn, if I'm
addicted to gambling, particularly sports gambling, if I don't have
work ethic and I don't have drive, and I won't
save whatever little money that I have, and I choose
(37:30):
not to approach a young woman that I see either
at school or at church because I'm nervous that she'll
she'll reject me. It's it's not about some other community
and what they're doing to me. I am not making
the best use of the things that God has given
me in my own life. And I'm trying to externalize
my failures by pointing to someone else and saying, well,
(37:53):
if they weren't here, or if they weren't doing what
they're doing, then then my life would be perfect. And
I just see that as a as a losing deal.
So one of the things that young men have to
learn is to embrace responsibility. Authority and responsibility are two
sides of the same coin, and what we've seen, particularly
(38:13):
with second wave feminism, is the desire for authority, but
the rejection of responsibility. And this is something that has
sort of permeated our culture now where everyone says, no,
I want the power's and as soon as they think
that they have it, then they say, well, now you
can't criticize me. No, it's not my fault. It's always
someone else's fault. And this is a bipartisan, cross ideological
(38:36):
problem that we have in our country, that we see
in politics, that we see in the culture, and that
we see in our communities. And you can't have a
function in society where no one wants to take responsibility
for anything. So that's why I think young men shoed
should embrace it. That doesn't mean everything is their fault,
but what it does mean is that the things that
are within my ability to control, I'm willing to do
(38:59):
my part before I start blaming people for while my
life doesn't look the way that it should.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Yeah, that's very interesting. It is the woe is me
of society. And when you look at some of these
radical influencers, that is what they're telling young men. And
I mean one of the things that Nick Foint has
recently said was truly, if you got rid of this,
if you got rid of this, if you got rid
of women, if you got rid of black men, if
you got rid of all these people, we would live
in a utopia. Well, no, you wouldn't. That's ridiculous. And
(39:27):
yet that is victimhood, and it's so well masked in empowerment.
But you will live in a country where your future
is your own. You are literally able to have whatever
religion you want, You can date whoever you want, you
can have as many children as you want. You are
not limited here. But these people are telling you you're limited.
And that is I believe, really affecting the stamina, the libido,
(39:52):
and the minds of our young men. And it makes
me very sad to think about that. But I think
you hit on something that we have been looking for
for so long. What are we doing? How do we
talk to these young men? Well, we're combating this victimhood
mindset that we never thought we had on the right,
But we do have on the right. It's growing day
by day. You've got Tucker Carlson going to Russia and
being like, you'd be much happier if you lived in Russia.
(40:13):
What the heck, what are you talking about? You know,
like that's nuts, And yet it is really pulling these
people in because they have a big following and they
have they've built credibility, so now they can kind of
like tear things down, and that to me is what's
so incredibly dangerous. You've been incredibly enlightening today. Thank you
so much for coming on and talking about this stuff.
(40:35):
I really appreciate it. So Delano Squires tell people where
they can follow you.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
They can follow me on x aka Twitter at Delano
d E l A n O.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Squire's s q U I R Yes.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
In the next few weeks, I'm going to post a
link to my forthcoming book called The Vanishing Black Family,
where where I talk about some of these issues, particularly
within the black community.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
But again a lot of it is generally applicable.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Like we need to restore order between you know, within
the home and between men, women and.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
The God who created us.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
So but yeah, Twitter is probably the best place I
try to stay out of trouble, but not always so.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
But you have such a good grasp on the difference,
the differences between genders and the men and women and
what we are losing there and that human experience of
intimacy and love and moving forward as a team. Those
are things I just think we don't have many people
talking about. We don't have many men who are willing
to come out and talk about this. I think this
(41:36):
is something Charlie was uniquely speaking about, and that void
has not been filled. In fact, that void instead has
gone to this other radical side. And to have a man,
a family man, who is able to articulate why that
is important and give men something to look forward to.
I just really appreciate that you're out there doing that.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
So thank you absolutely, thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Absolutely, and thank you all for joining us on the
Tutor Dixon Podcast. As always, you can subscribe at the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts,
and you can watch the whole thing on Rumble or
YouTube at Tutor Dixon. Join us next time and have
a blessed day.
Welcome to the Tutor Dixon Podcast. Today. We are going
to talk a lot about young men right now. That
is the question on both sides of the political aisle
is how do we talk to young men. There has
been this push to kind of demonize young men and
almost say that if you're going to say positive things
about young women, then you have to say negative things
(00:22):
about young young men. And now politically it seems like
the world is going well, how do we win back
young men? So I have an expert on young men
with me, Delano Squires. He is a research fellow for
the Heritage Foundation Center for Human Flourishing. So tell us, Delano,
how do we make young men flourish in this country?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Well, thank you for having me Twitter. I think the
first thing is to acknowledge that men and women need
one another. We cannot have a functioning society or culture
if our politics are bills on fomenting disdain and discord
between the sexes. Right, so the gender war politics are
(01:08):
failing politics. It doesn't matter if they are coming from
sort of the Andrew Tait redpill right or the blue
haired feminists left. Either way you go that those types
of politics are failing politics. So I think the first
thing is to acknowledge that that, you know, men and
women need one another in very fundamental ways. I think
the second thing is to acknowledged that for the better
(01:30):
part of about sixty years, the political left has been
demonizing men and in some ways, in many ways, have
gone from fighting sexism to fighting masculinity itself. So I
think acknowledging where we have gone wrong and then being
able to say, Okay, now, let's let's look at young
men first as individuals, but then let's ask ourselves whether
(01:52):
there are whether there are issues that that young men
and boys and even adult males are facing that are
being caused by public policy, that are being exacerbated by
social norms, and if so, what are some ways that
we can roll those things back and make progress as
we move into the future.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
You know, you said something about the far left and
the far right and how they've come after men in
different ways, and I'm almost I used to be the
person that was like, oh my gosh, this is radical,
and this is going out there and it's getting into
the minds of young people, and this is radical on
the other side, and it's also doing the same thing.
Now I'm a little bit worried about the I don't
(02:33):
know how to describe it, like the empathetic center where
it's like, you know, we as women are told you
can do it all by yourself, you don't need a man.
It's not so much that you consciously think men are bad.
It's that you're you are elevating yourself above anything else
and saying I can do this all alone. I want
(02:54):
to focus on me. You had someone you had an
interview on your Twitter with a woman. It wasn't it
was someone else that was interviewing here. It was a
woman named doctor Cheyenne Bryant, and she was talking about
not being in menopause yet She's forty. I'm not in menopause.
I'm still having a period every month. I can still
have a baby. And that was like a celebration. I
(03:15):
think it's an interesting I had my youngest when I
was thirty six, so my oldest I had when I
was thirty two. It's one of those things that once
you do it and you are in your thirties and
you have your first child, you go, why did I
not do this earlier? And you start to see how
age affects your life in a major way, and I
see this now. Just talked to a friend last night
(03:36):
and said, oh, one of our friends is pregnant at
forty eight. And I think you don't know what you
don't know, But we as a society have not been
fair to telling people this should happen young, It should
happen together. You shouldn't say your career is more important
than your family, because at the end of life, it's
your family that is there for you.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, I mean, and Nyessa, I think I posted that
clip you know, yes, Sara a few days ago, and
she she was making this point that now she's ready
to have kids, and you know, she's more financially stable
than she would have been, let's say, in her twenties
or even in her thirties. Part of my commentary is
that I didn't hear her mention a husband in this
(04:15):
sort of arrangement. So my sense is that her only
interests in men is in their reproductive material. And I
think part of, you know, going back to the question
you ask, part of the reason that we are in
the situation we are right now is because across society,
from multiple different institutions, we have been selling the notion
(04:37):
that men are actually that society actually does not need men,
that families do not need men. So you know, whether
it's women proudly declaring, well, I don't need a man
right in order to have a family, I can do
it all by myself, particularly if I have enough resources,
I can do by myself. So in that sense, men
(04:58):
become almost like appendix of the family, nice to have,
but not particularly necessary. Whereas we think of mom as
the heart and soul. So the idea that we could
have a functioning society with whatever some significant percentage of
women who are disaffected, disconnected, have sort of tenuous relationships
(05:20):
with their children, everyone will see them as a crisis.
But when it comes to men, we say, well, everybody
can function in the same ways that they have before.
And I think that is a colossal mistake. And as
I said, part of this is public policy. I mean,
it starts extremely young, when boys are in school and
we expect them to behave and do all the things
(05:41):
that girls do. And anyone who has children, particularly if
you have one of each, I have four, I have
two of each. You can see the differences in children
in boys and girls, and how they play, and how
they communicate, and how they interact socially with their peers
and how they interact with their parents. You can see
(06:02):
those sex differences coming out at a fairly young age, right,
my sons who are seven and five, there was a period,
there was a season in life where whenever I came home.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
They would they wouldn't just run and hug me, they
would head butt me.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
They would they would play fight, they would slap, they
would want that type of rough housing. My daughters have
never done that. My daughters aren't as a as a
matter of sort of communication, don't head butt me right
and say, okay, dad is home, let let me let
me bang into his leg, because that's just not how
they operate. So I think part of why we have
(06:35):
this problem is because we have accepted quietly the idea
of sort of this this androgis in this, this sort
of cultural androgyny, that men and women are exactly the same.
So so we just have problems recognizing that men and
(06:56):
women are equal in dignity and worth but different in
form and function. And until we're willing to acknowledge that,
we're going to continue to have some of these problems.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Well, I think culture has really compounded this issue because
I just saw a survey that said that a majority
of men say they would be fine with thee their
wife being the main bread winner in the house. They
would be fine being the stay at home dad. They
look at this as a success, a successful relationship. And
(07:25):
I'm not saying that you can't be that, but I
do believe that there is there are different roles. Just
like you said that the young boy is different when
dad comes in the house than the young girl. I
also think that raising the family and being the one
that is making lunch and teaching reading, there is a
difference between mom and dad. And we have pushed this
(07:46):
like there's no difference, there's no difference. Well that's that's
simply not true. But we've also created a society of
men who have decided I will let my wife go
do the main breadwdding do the hard job, be the executive,
and I'll stay home. And what happens at the house
is much different. And people can complain to me that
(08:08):
this is not true, it is true. What happens at
the house is different than what would have happened with
the house with mom being there. Dad is very different
the way he interacts with the kids when it comes
to being stayed home all day. We also have this
society you mentioned it of little boys can't be little
boys in school, and it is this push that is
(08:29):
compounded by a lack of parenting at home, but also
this push of teachers going to the house and saying,
you gotta medicate. We've seen success with this with other kids.
And I'm not ripping on teachers here. I think that
this is a cultural issue where we have stopped telling
kids you have to behave to a certain extent in
(08:49):
the classroom, understanding though that boys are going to be
more active, they're going to have trouble sitting in their seats,
and compounding that with just medicate them and make them
zombies and let the classroom be calm.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, I think you make some fantastic points, and this
point about breadwinning, so call it. Fifty years ago, about
eighty five percent of men were either the primary or
sole breadwinner. Today the household is much more egalitarian. That's
a down to about fifty five percent. I believe about
(09:25):
twenty nine percent of households have sort of a shared
breadwinner model. And many people realize is that in a
lot of places it takes or at least it feels
like it takes two incomes in order to survive. And
then the remaining number of women are sole breadwinner. So
that's still a fairly small percentage. But I think a
(09:47):
couple of things have happened. One is that sort of
in the post second wave feminist world, the vocations of
mother and wife have been degraded across the culture. So
the way I say it is this, our society celebrates
any woman who runs a large, complex organization, unless it's
(10:10):
our home. And we love women who dedicate.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
With that is such a good point.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
And and and and likewise, we love women who dedicate
themselves to training the next generation, unless it's their own children.
So so so part of it is that the fight
of the Betty Ferdan's and the Glorious Steinems wasn't just
or we need more access to education and and you know,
the economic opportunity for women. It was the home itself
(10:36):
is a prison, and we need to free and liberate
women from the home. And and what that does is
again it devalues those vocations, and it devalues the purpose.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Of the home.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
So the root word for economy is a Greek word
economia that talks about the household. So it's actually about
the household, and the household should be in ideally a
hub of productive, economic, spiritual, educational, social, and relational activity,
(11:10):
but for a lot of people it's just a place
to lay your head. So my thing is that both
men and women need to understand that generally speaking, we
have so we gravitate to particular roles because I believe
that that's how we were designed by God. And what
we've been doing for sixty plus years is fighting against
our nature. And that's why everybody seems so frustrated, because
(11:34):
we've rejected the idea that there are particular roles that
we are supposed to fill. And one of the things
that I say, nobody is truly a feminist. And I'll
give you an example. If something goes bump in the night,
right at two in the morning, and I turn over
to my wife and I say, look, last time this happened,
(11:54):
I went but you know me, I'm a good male
feminist ally.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So this time I'll let you go.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Right.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
She would be on the phone to a divorced lawyer
by tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
And part of this problem going back to men, is
that the societal expectations for men have been fairly inelastic
for sixty years. It always starts with the same two
p's for everybody across the board. It's men are supposed
to provide and to protect, now across sort of social norms.
(12:31):
Sometimes people don't want to acknowledge that, and even some
men are saying, you know, wh I'm more than a paycheck,
which is true, but that's the baseline. The problem is
when you try to enter into a dance and one
person knows, or let's say a song and one person
knows what part they're supposed to be singing, and the
other person it says, I don't want to be held
(12:52):
down to any particular part because if you ask, if
you ask, if anyone men or women, okay, men are
supposed to provide and protect, what are women supposed to do?
Then you're going to get people said, well, I don't
want to say what women are supposed to do because
I don't want to put boundaries around that. And this
is where you have this discord between the sexes. And
(13:12):
it's frustrating because oftentimes modern women are looking for traditional men,
but don't expect men to want them to play traditional roles.
And this is part of the disconnect between the sexes.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on
the Tutor Dixon Podcast. So what I will say is
I think that too often, this modern woman role, what
women aren't coming out and saying the women who have
gone through this and they have kids and they are
the executive and they are married, they're not saying, well,
(13:51):
that traditional role still falls on me. So ultimately, I've
piled on a massive amount of work and we're stressed
and were hired, and we are not giving our best
to our kids because we were overworked. I saw something
just a couple days ago, and it was one of
these things on social media where a man said, my
wife came to me and she said, it's December. I'm
(14:13):
so stressed out. I'm so afraid I'm not going to
get Christmas done. And he said, it'll work out. It's
no big deal. It always works out. It'll work out.
It's no big deal. And he said, I totally ignored
what she said because I was like, once we get
to Christmas, it'll happen. And he said, on Christmas Eve,
I came downstairs and I saw her feverishly wrapping all
(14:34):
the gifts by herself stressed. It was two am. I
had been asleep. I came down and he said, in
that moment, I realized what I had done. I had said,
it'll work itself out. Christmas will come, no matter what
he said. And then in that moment, I realized, my
wife is Christmas. And it hit me so hard because
(14:55):
I was like, this is what women won't say because
we are afraid to admit it is so hard. We
are afraid to admit we are overwhelmed, we are barely
hanging on. But this mom was the perfect example of
the wife who is working, who is getting the lunch
is made, who's driving the kids to school, and at
the end of the night she texts the kids in
(15:16):
and then she makes Christmas happen, which seems like a
crazy when you have four You have four kids. I
have four kids. You know that that night before you
are like, ah, I have just a few hours, you know.
And that is just a example of what a woman
is actually pulling all together. And so often the men
(15:37):
are not even told because nobody wants to admit. No.
Women have so much on their plates right now because
they're doing it all.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
And that's the frustration.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
And I think a lot of women feel, and part
of that is because of the expectations that have misst
yes and for a lot of women, they've let it
happen right, Like they've heard we can have it all,
and some people may say that that's true, but you
certainly can't have it all at the same time, because
time is the one thing that they're not making more of.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
You can you can fake having more money. You can
just run up, run up credit. But no one has
a credit card for time, So everybody gets the same
number of hours, and trying to cram more and more
things into those hours is increasingly difficult. I mean, my
wife was a social worker in DC for about five years.
Over I worked in DC government before coming to Heritage.
(16:28):
We overlapped for about five years. We actually worked in
the same building. Once we had our third child, we
realized we were paying someone basically a mortgage to take
care of our two younger children, and she was spending
all day helping other people take care of their children,
so we decided to cut out the middleman. She's been
a stay at home mom and home educator for the
(16:48):
last five years, and that in and of itself is
a full time job right, she is basically running at
bed and breakfast and a schoolhouse and sort of stewarding
sort of an organization in and of itself.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Those are like three full time jobs. So the expectation
that she could would do those things and also work
outside the home just puts a lot of stress on her,
and it just makes a lot of women feel burded.
This doesn't mean that everyone woman needs to be a
state at home mom or or a home educator, But
what I would say is that lifting up those vocations
(17:34):
is one of the most important things that anyone in
the public sphere could do. Those things are critically important.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I think young men have been afraid to take on
those traditional roles of even protect and provide because they
are afraid of stepping on the woman's toes. I hear
so often now young men saying I don't know if
I should go up to a woman and say, oh,
I just caught your I caught a glimpse of you
across the bar. You're beautiful, you know, because that's suddenly
insult or opening the door on a first date. They
(18:02):
don't know, they don't know where they stand in this
new world of feminism and the feminism used to be that,
and it's gone to an even greater extreme. And we
do have when we talk about the extremes on the
left and the right, we do have some also strange
messaging coming out on the left and the right. And
I will pick on the right right now, because I've
(18:25):
seen some really bizarre messaging coming out of the right
like this. I don't even like to say his name,
but I see this interview with Nick Fuentes and Piers Morgan,
and Piers Morgan is like, I mean, you hate women.
He absolutely, women are horrible. And this is a man
who's never been in a relationship, never had any intimacy
(18:46):
with a woman, never felt the tension or love of
a woman. And you have to wonder, how did this
How is this messaging of becoming an asexual man? And
yet he's saying that he wants to be the dominant,
the dominant cultural society leader in the United States. Well,
(19:08):
but he doesn't that want to have any children of
his own, Like, how did this happen that we have
this group of asexual men that hate women but they
want to be the dominant, Like this is a whites
only group. Well, you're not going very far if that's
your method, I.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Mean, your analysis of Flintis and particularly his main message,
is far more sophisticated than what I see on social
media or what I hear from anyone else, because you're
you're pointing out the tensions in his message. On one hand,
Nick Fintez will say that there's a white genocide going
on and white people are becoming a global minority. On
(19:46):
the other hand, Nick Flintes will say one he'll say,
you know, I'll only marry a white woman, but he'll
spend that will be one minute, and he'll spend the
next fifty nine minutes talking about how much he doesn't
like women. So I don't know how a guy who's
leading a movement and telling the other guys in the
movement that women are really not people that I want
(20:09):
to spend a lot of time with. I'm not interested
in them, you know, whether in friendship or romantically. But
we want to repopulate the earth with more white babies, right.
So I think that's a tension that very few other
people have pointed out. But I think it's important because
of all the things that people accuse Nick flint Is
(20:29):
of right racism, anti semitism, so on and so forth.
The gender war is far more important for the future
of our country than online ethnic tension. Right, you can
have ethnic tension in a country, or you can have
(20:50):
ethnic tension between countries, or religious tension or sectarian tension
between countries. I do not know of a single country
where it is a single country this is the country
only of men, and this is one only of women,
because men and women need each other in ways that
different racial groups do not.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I think that only happens in the movie Wonder Woman,
where there's an ilace of Amazon women.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Right right right, So it can't it can't happen in
real life. And that's why I'm far more concerned with
the way that young men are beginning to think about
and speak about women. And again, on the feminist left,
this has been going on for sixty plus years. So
now it's just the horseshoe effect where both both camps
are telling their respective members that the other side, the
(21:37):
other sex, is no good, that marriage and family are
a bad deal, and that you should avoid it because
you are either going to lose yourself and this is
this is sort of the Betty for Dan left, or
you're going to lose your stuff, which is more of
the sort of the Nick Fuentes, right, and I think
that's a bad deal. I'm seeing some signs of hope right.
(21:59):
I recently post did it was. It was a short
conversation between the governor of Maryland where I'm a resident, right,
Wes Moore, and and a podcaster named Van Lathan, where
he said that in the state of Maryland they're doing
a lot to center the needs of boys and men,
and he said that we can't have a function in
(22:19):
society if if our boys are and our men are struggling. Now,
he didn't say specifically what the state is doing, and
I certainly would like to learn more about that, but
I was struck by the fact that he talked about
boys and men taking their rightful place. I'm not sure
if he said in the family, certainly said in society.
That type of language, the acknowledgment that boys and men
(22:43):
are a group a category of people who have specific needs,
the acknowledgement that boys and men have specific roles and
and the acknowledgement that boys and men or or the
desire to see boys and men take their rightful place,
that is not language that people on the left typically use.
(23:03):
When it comes to boys and men, it's typically to
the extent that they talk about masculinity. It's about using
men using their masculinity on behalf of quote unquote marginalized groups.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
So it's about being a good ally.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Not that's something politically that I think the left really
needs to come back and say as well, because if
I look at what's happened, and I mean, I know
the right also needs to come and lift up the man.
But I would say on the left, there was a
weird movement where it was like, we want to not
see color, we want to bring everybody in, we want
(23:36):
to lift up every person. And then suddenly I will
say this, and you may disagree with me, but it
was suddenly they overlooked the black mail and they said
we're going to lift up black women, and we are
going to lift up white trans men or trans women.
I don't even know the men who become women. And
then if you look at the leaders in the last administration,
(24:00):
it was like they totally overlooked the black man and
and men in general. But I think that really they
say they come out and they go to these communities
like I'm in Michigan, they go to Detroit, and they
say we're here for you, but they overlook the fact
that black men have not had leadership positions, enough leadership
positions in their party. I mean, got my gosh. In Michigan,
(24:22):
in the communities that are minority communities that are mostly
residents of color, they are not acknowledging that they have
white people representing them. I mean, it's so bizarre to me.
They got the jerrymannered the districts so that you can't
have black representation in a minority based community. How can
(24:46):
that possibly be that black men don't go wait a minute,
this party doesn't care about me. And I am not
saying that there is not work to be done to
raise men up across this country, But how is it
not I've seen that black men are being left behind
on the left.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Oh boy, tutor, you about to this is again? You
hit the nail on the head. I'll say it for
the audience this way.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
When Democrats show up to talk to black women, they say,
vote for me, and I can make you vice president,
I can make you a Supreme Court justice. When they
show up to speak to black men, they say, vote
for me and I'll keep you from becoming George Floyd.
It's a very different message. For women, they push leadership.
For men, they push protection. The reason for this is
(25:38):
because the most significant interracial union in American history is
not the one recognized in Loving versus Virginia. It is
the marriage between black feminists and white liberals that has
powered the Democratic Party for the past sixty years. And
in that arrangement, the women get something out of the deal.
(26:04):
The party and the politicians and the bureaucracts get something
out of the deal, and black men are sort of
left on the outside looking in, begging for scraps in
a party that they vote for at an eighty five
percent plus clip, but they are spoken down to.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
They are ignored.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
If any significant maybe one or two percent, suggests that
they might vote for the other side, all of the
party apparatus comes together and says, shame on you, black men.
They get hectored and lectured by people like Barack Obama
in Pennsylvania. They say, shame on you, how dare you
not support this black woman for president or for governor?
(26:46):
And what I'm saying is this, the dynamics that we
see playing out politically within the black community are dynamics
that start in the home, and when you talk about
black men not having leadership, that starts in the home.
Eight percent of Black children in this country are born
to unmarried parents. About forty five percent of black children
live with a single mother. That means that to be
(27:08):
a Black child born to and raised by your married
mother and father for the first eighteen years of your
life is now an exception and not the rule. And
those disjointed family dynamics work themselves out everywhere in society.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
Now.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
It's easy for us to see it in the schoolhouse,
in the courthouse, and in the jail house, but it
also works itself out in the ballot box and in
the way that the left particularly messages to men and women,
to black men and black women about what it is
that they are going to provide. And what makes it
worse is that the political machinery exacerbates this sex conflict
(27:50):
because they are constantly telling black women that you are
the backbone.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Of the party.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
You save the party, you save democracy, you save the country,
you saved the world. And to black men, what they
say is you guys should follow black women.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Let's take a quick commercial break. We'll continue next on
the Tutor Dixon podcast. So it's interesting that you say
that because it's reminding me. I saw one of these
men on the street interviews where they went and they
interviewed a bunch of black men about Kamala Harris and
they said, well, what do you think? Then overwhelmingly these
men said, my mother would be so mad at me
(28:28):
if I didn't vote for Kamala Harris. And I think
if you look across the spectrum, men generally have huge
respect for their mothers, regardless of their ethnic background. But
in this case, it seemed like there was this innate
understanding that I want to please my mother and this
(28:49):
is the party that will please women. Is that something
that you see amongst black men in your communities? In
these communities, yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
The only place that you may hear guys saying something
different may be a barbershop where you have sort of
a closed space that's primarily male dominated. But generally speaking,
when when and the exit polling sort of this makes sense, right.
Eighty plus percent of Black men vote for Kamala Harrison
(29:26):
twenty twenty four. Eighty plus percent of Black men vote
for whoever the Democrat is for president for the at
least the last six to seven election cycles.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
So that's that's not a surprise.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
But what happens is, let me let me draw this
parallel when Democrats, and this started in twenty sixteen and
they've done it for the last couple of election cycles.
When they talk to white women, they say, don't be
a part of the fifty three percent that votes for
Donald Trump, right, don't don't follow your husband in terms
of what he does at the ballot box. So for
(29:59):
some of those women men, let's say center right moderate,
there's a certain discomfort with publicly acknowledging hey, no, I
do want to vote for Trump, and partly is because yes,
I am in alignment with my husband. There's a there's
a similar reluctance for for a subset of black men
who either will know in their heart of hearts this
(30:21):
party does not represent me or my values. It has
no place for men in traditional homes and relationships or
traditional modes of thought. But I'm going to do it
because this is the right choice. This is the voting
blue is the black choice. That that's how that's how
many of them will do it. And even for the
ones who may have voted for Trump or you know,
(30:41):
vote conservative, if they do it, they do it silently.
They're not posting bumper stickers and they're not wearing maga hats.
There's there's a subset that will and those those people
are out loud and proud to be conservative, I'll say
it that way, But there's a chunk there in the
middle who who will will go along because they don't
(31:03):
want to fight either with their wife, their girlfriend, the
mother and their children or their mother.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
And that's why my hope.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Is that as particularly the black family becomes more intact, right,
as we have a revival and marriage and a reconstruction
of the family, and I'm actually writing a book on
this very topic, my hope is that eventually what we'll
see is that those household dynamics will begin to take
shape and there will be some order in the home.
(31:32):
Because every other group of men vote more conservatively conservatively
than their women, and the same thing for black men.
But again, the consistent messaging is that black men should
follow black women when it comes to politics, and that
is a message that I feel is unique to the
black community.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Absolutely, But I also it's resonating with me that we
have a young men problem. As I'm listening to you
regardless of race. We have a young man problem. And
what you just said to me kind of shook me awake.
That we keep saying how do we talk to young men?
But it's young women who are dictating how young men
should be thinking. And so how do we change that
(32:14):
perception with young women? And I go back to the
fact that when you are a young woman, you don't
know what it is to be a mom and have
a career and try to do all of the things
while you are crapping all over young men. You know,
I mean, did not say it in any better way.
When you are trashing the protect and provide model and
(32:40):
you're saying I don't need that, you suddenly get to
a point where you can't come back out and say, actually,
that was what I needed. How do we bring that back?
How do we show young women that you can't do
it by yourself? Is not that you can't do it,
you can't do it alone.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Well, I think part.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Of this this I'll say this way, this start.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
This must start in the home.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
So so for dads who are husbands who have children,
it's about mom and dad modeling. So the right type
of relationship first and foremost, because more is caught than
it's taught. So it doesn't matter what I say is
as a dad, if my if my children see me
mistreating my wife, if they see me abdicating my responsibilities
in my home. So first and foremost is me playing
(33:25):
my part, my God given role. But but we need
more men, you know, who are taking their families to church,
who are leading them spiritually, who love their wives, so
that a young a boy gets to see what it
looks like when his dad truly loves his mom. Right,
(33:46):
when you truly love your wife, that doesn't mean you
just roll over and and well, you know whatever my
wife says. You know, I'm just a fifth child. No, no, no,
that's that's not it.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
We don't. We don't.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Lead by serving, We serve by leading. So when he
gets to see you in that role, right, showing affection, protecting,
decision making, all those things, playing with him in your
siblings right, sort of helping to create an atmosphere of
togetherness and unity in the home. Now you're giving him
(34:22):
something to pattern himself after. But you're also giving your something,
your daughter something to look for in a potential mate.
So I think a big part of it is modeling
as well as sort of the teaching and instructing that
goes on as children go from very young to teenage
to young adulthood.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Well, I think this is so important for us to
also consider politically what's going on right now. We have
so many of these social media influencers who I love
what you said. You want to be taking your child
to church, you want to be the leader, the spiritual
leader of the home. And yet I see these influencers
who they say they're Christian, but they are going in
(35:04):
and they're attacking communities, They're attacking other faiths. They're saying
that this faith is bad and they're going to destroy us.
Instead of saying, hey, I want to get with my
church and bring more people to my church, grow what
I have, grow what I think is beautiful and right
and valuable. Instead I'm going to try to devalue what
someone else has. And Yet, in those families, the father
(35:26):
is the leader of the home, the father is home
every night, there is a strong community and building of
community and building of family. We have to focus. If
you believe that Christianity is the future and that that
is the way to live, you should focus inward. Say
how do I expand my church, how do I bring
people into my area instead of trying to attack and
(35:48):
shut down the others. And I think that's something that
we have really struggled with in the conservative community. But
the church will lead. I mean, the church will will
create culture, and it will create the culture that we
as Christians would like to expand.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
And I think you hit on something in terms of
one of the signs of the decline of men and
boys in this country is the embrace of victimhood. And
I've certainly seen this on the left for decades, and
now I'm seeing the right doing the same thing. This
is not to say that there are not legitimate political
(36:25):
or policy or even cultural issues to be addressed publicly, right,
and that could be the compatibility of different cultures, whether
East and West, the different religious face. I'm actually I'm
okay with having some of those debates publicly. What worries
me is when even I'll see some even some of
(36:46):
the Christian pastors that I that I follow, they will
act as if well, all of the problems facing young
men and some of them were going further say, young
white men today are problems that are caused by those
people over there by some external force, and and I
just don't think you can live life that way. That
(37:08):
doesn't mean that there aren't that they are never external
forces acting upon you. But if I don't if I
don't want to go out and look for a job,
if I spend all day looking at porn, if I'm
addicted to gambling, particularly sports gambling, if I don't have
work ethic and I don't have drive, and I won't
save whatever little money that I have, and I choose
(37:30):
not to approach a young woman that I see either
at school or at church because I'm nervous that she'll
she'll reject me. It's it's not about some other community
and what they're doing to me. I am not making
the best use of the things that God has given
me in my own life. And I'm trying to externalize
my failures by pointing to someone else and saying, well,
(37:53):
if they weren't here, or if they weren't doing what
they're doing, then then my life would be perfect. And
I just see that as a as a losing deal.
So one of the things that young men have to
learn is to embrace responsibility. Authority and responsibility are two
sides of the same coin, and what we've seen, particularly
(38:13):
with second wave feminism, is the desire for authority, but
the rejection of responsibility. And this is something that has
sort of permeated our culture now where everyone says, no,
I want the power's and as soon as they think
that they have it, then they say, well, now you
can't criticize me. No, it's not my fault. It's always
someone else's fault. And this is a bipartisan, cross ideological
(38:36):
problem that we have in our country, that we see
in politics, that we see in the culture, and that
we see in our communities. And you can't have a
function in society where no one wants to take responsibility
for anything. So that's why I think young men shoed
should embrace it. That doesn't mean everything is their fault,
but what it does mean is that the things that
are within my ability to control, I'm willing to do
(38:59):
my part before I start blaming people for while my
life doesn't look the way that it should.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Yeah, that's very interesting. It is the woe is me
of society. And when you look at some of these
radical influencers, that is what they're telling young men. And
I mean one of the things that Nick Foint has
recently said was truly, if you got rid of this,
if you got rid of this, if you got rid
of women, if you got rid of black men, if
you got rid of all these people, we would live
in a utopia. Well, no, you wouldn't. That's ridiculous. And
(39:27):
yet that is victimhood, and it's so well masked in empowerment.
But you will live in a country where your future
is your own. You are literally able to have whatever
religion you want, You can date whoever you want, you
can have as many children as you want. You are
not limited here. But these people are telling you you're limited.
And that is I believe, really affecting the stamina, the libido,
(39:52):
and the minds of our young men. And it makes
me very sad to think about that. But I think
you hit on something that we have been looking for
for so long. What are we doing? How do we
talk to these young men? Well, we're combating this victimhood
mindset that we never thought we had on the right,
But we do have on the right. It's growing day
by day. You've got Tucker Carlson going to Russia and
being like, you'd be much happier if you lived in Russia.
(40:13):
What the heck, what are you talking about? You know,
like that's nuts, And yet it is really pulling these
people in because they have a big following and they
have they've built credibility, so now they can kind of
like tear things down, and that to me is what's
so incredibly dangerous. You've been incredibly enlightening today. Thank you
so much for coming on and talking about this stuff.
(40:35):
I really appreciate it. So Delano Squires tell people where
they can follow you.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
They can follow me on x aka Twitter at Delano
d E l A n O.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Squire's s q U I R Yes.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
In the next few weeks, I'm going to post a
link to my forthcoming book called The Vanishing Black Family,
where where I talk about some of these issues, particularly
within the black community.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
But again a lot of it is generally applicable.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Like we need to restore order between you know, within
the home and between men, women and.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
The God who created us.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
So but yeah, Twitter is probably the best place I
try to stay out of trouble, but not always so.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
But you have such a good grasp on the difference,
the differences between genders and the men and women and
what we are losing there and that human experience of
intimacy and love and moving forward as a team. Those
are things I just think we don't have many people
talking about. We don't have many men who are willing
to come out and talk about this. I think this
(41:36):
is something Charlie was uniquely speaking about, and that void
has not been filled. In fact, that void instead has
gone to this other radical side. And to have a man,
a family man, who is able to articulate why that
is important and give men something to look forward to.
I just really appreciate that you're out there doing that.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
So thank you absolutely, thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Absolutely, and thank you all for joining us on the
Tutor Dixon Podcast. As always, you can subscribe at the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts,
and you can watch the whole thing on Rumble or
YouTube at Tutor Dixon. Join us next time and have
a blessed day.
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