August 14, 2024 • 25 mins
Welcome back to the Jordyn Jones Podcast! In this episode, Jordyn shares her recent Instagram fiasco and answers listener questions on topics like relationships, friendships, and self-care. From dealing with crushes to building trust in friendships, Jordyn offers heartfelt advice and personal anecdotes.
Join Jordyn and her adorable cat, Matcha, as they dive into discussions on maturity, shaving tips, and communication preferences between Snapchat and text. Plus, discover Jordyn’s insights on gaining independence after a breakup and finding true friends you can trust.
Don't miss out on this engaging and insightful episode filled with relatable stories and valuable advice!
Join Jordyn and her adorable cat, Matcha, as they dive into discussions on maturity, shaving tips, and communication preferences between Snapchat and text. Plus, discover Jordyn’s insights on gaining independence after a breakup and finding true friends you can trust.
Don't miss out on this engaging and insightful episode filled with relatable stories and valuable advice!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw media. I've been watching South Park and so every
time I say like okay, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Like, okay, okay, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Welcome back to Jordan Jones Podcast. You guys. It may
seem like we've been active over here, but I had
pre recorded episodes. We had a horrible Instagram fiasco that
I will tell you guys all about. And then now
we're back because I'm done traveling for a little bit
and Macha is here again. She's so happy she just
(00:45):
jumps right out of her little bag here and goes
running all around. So we're happy to be back. I'm
happy to talk to you guys again and answer your
questions and help you guys out. But yeah, that Instagram
thing I have to tell you guys about. I went
on at the end of July to go post a
clip and I got logged out. I was like, what
(01:06):
what's happening right now? I've only been hacked on my
main Instagram one time in twenty sixteen or something, and
never again. My passwords are so crazy. My email associated
and phone number associated is nowhere near mine. So even
if I were to get hacked or my friends and
family closest to me, would get hacked. It's just like
(01:27):
the craziest loophole to you know, crazy two factor authentication system.
But with my podcast, Instagram and all these other accounts
I have, I have my normal information. So I was like,
oh my gosh, I got hacked, Like someone is coming
for me right now. No, I got reported for impersonating
Jordan Jones because it's not verified and it's not my
(01:51):
actual Jordan Jones account, it's my podcast account. So yeah,
someone reported me, and it must have happened more times
than one, because I don't think one person reporting me.
So there's a lot of people out there, I guess
thinking I'm faking myself in my Instagram. But it was
easy to get it, you know, dismissed. I was like
(02:11):
so scared. It was like ten thirty PM and I
DM the COO of Instagram because I know him from
multiple Instagram and meta events, and he answered me in
this same like three minutes at night, and he was
He's like do this, do this, do this, and I'll
get back to you tomorrow. The next day, boom, Instagram
is back. I'm like, thank you. I didn't even go
(02:33):
to my managers and agents. I was so stressed. Out
at ten thirty pm. Just hey, just will you help
me with this? So, yeah, we are back and better
than ever. I had to put the podcast on hold
for a week or two just to get all of
that sordid. So I'm able to you know, promote and
ask you guys questions and have my DMS open and
(02:53):
all of these messages will be from my Instagram account
from you guys directly who have asked me for it.
So I'm so happy to be back back in the
studio and on my regular schedule. So let's get back
to schedule programming and jump right into these questions from
you guys. The first one, I've had a crush on
(03:14):
a girl for ages and we get on super well.
Wait what does that mean? Like we get along super well? Okay,
and yet both of us are scared that we will
ruin our friendship when we take the leap. What should
I do? Wow? Okay, this is a question we have
answered similarly similarly, similarly, similarly, we have had this question.
(03:43):
They've got a similar question before. And everyone has been
in this dilemma okay, where you are friends with someone
or you think it's just friends and you kind of
both have that little thing your mind of would this
work with this not? With this ruin our friendship? You know,
(04:04):
we have all been there, whether we were you know,
in high school in middle school and you have a
little crush. I had this like little crush because my
mom and her mom, her mom, my mom and his
mom tried to like say, we were cute together and
we would like roller skate to the mall together or
something when we were like five or six years old.
(04:27):
And I feel like, even back then, you're like, do
I have a crush on him? Or is he just
like my friend? You don't really know, and we've all
been here. I always bring up like lust versus love
and liking someone, because sometimes we are just infactuated with
lust and that is not love. That is where it's tricky.
(04:49):
And I think that that is what you're talking about here.
If I look back at people I've been interested in
or I've kind of been in this dilemma before, I
really really think the best advice I could give you, guys,
is to shut that person out for a bit, take
a break, because time will tell and distance will help
(05:11):
you kind of realize what you're thinking. Because if you're
just constantly hanging out or seeing them. You know, that's
kind of just gonna automatically turn into something, especially if
you both like each other. So I really would suggest
pumping the breaks, taking a look back at everything, being rational.
I wish I could take my own advice and go
(05:33):
back in the past with some of these Always I'm like, oh,
I'm giving good advice that you guys should really take,
because I wish I did when you know it's just
lust or attention or something like that. So that is
my advice to you. I think that you shouldn't take
the leap until you know one hundred percent, because yes,
(05:55):
that can ruin friendships. It has, it will, it happens.
That is why I think that you should just take
it slow, go where your heart tells you at the
end of the day. But that's just my advice. Next one,
I hope you're doing well. I saw your message on
the group chat and I was wondering if you had
any tips for a first date. Thank you tips for
(06:15):
a first date? Okay, I honestly think this would be fun. Okay,
if you live near any type of outdoor shopping mall,
I think it would be fun to meet up around
five and you kind of walk around and talk and
shop and you know, get a little bite to eat
at What'seo's Pretzels or something like that, and then you know,
(06:37):
if it's going well, you can get dinner at this
shopping center because they probably have restaurants, and then after
you go to the restaurant, you can get some ice cream.
I just think that a longer kind of hanging out
thing where you can test different scenarios because some people
just like dinner, but I think dinners are awkward for
(06:58):
a first date. So having you know, kind of one
on one time walking around, shopping around, kind of seeing
how the person like acts, talks, flirts, cracks jokes. Taking
that on to dinner is better than just meeting up
at a dinner. But basically, I think dinner on a
first date is a good thing, but I like to
(07:18):
break the ice first. I'm not one to like a huge,
crazy activity on a first date, but a lot of
people do think mini golf or a fair is a
good first date. But okay, a fair could be cute. Actually,
a fair could be cute because you're kind of doing
the same thing I said about walking around and stuff
like that. But imagine, if you know your first date.
(07:41):
A lot of people you know you don't like hold
hands or kiss and stuff like that, so you know,
by like two, three, four, you can be at the
fair and you're like holding hands on the ride and
it's just like another step. And I think stuff like
that is cute. So I think my final answer is
walking around shopping dinner first date. I think that's great.
(08:04):
Or a coffee shop. You know, if you really need
to not have something added at the end and you're
really just testing it out, just a coffee shop is good.
All right. Next one, I'm taking you up on some advice, Girly.
I've been single for months and I cannot gain my
independence back. I've been through breakups before and have learned
to be alone and enjoyed it since my last breakup,
(08:24):
though I can't seem to do it. I have to
constantly be texting or talking to a boy or I
feel alone. Lmfao, do you have any tips on how
to be okay with being by myself? I love how
you are so independent being in a relationship yourself. Wow,
this is really a really, really good question. I also
(08:45):
love this girl. Her name is Jordan, and we talk
a lot on DMS and we've also met a few times.
I also have her on Snapchat, so I feel like,
you know, I kind of personally know her and can
really understand the situation because I would see her with
this guy that she had broken up with, and while
she was dating him, you know, I could tell she
(09:06):
just looked so happy and fulfilled and how heartbroken she
must be now because if she's kind of been through
breakups before and she's just been okay and been able
to shake it off and now she's you know, really hurting,
I totally understand and get where she's coming from with this.
So another thing I can relate this to is grief
(09:28):
because when I lost my dad, I had to constantly
be texting people, facetiming people. I couldn't be alone in
my thoughts. I couldn't be alone. It's kind of like that.
I mean, when you are dating someone, it's a little
sliver of what grief actually feels like when you guys
break up. And I say sliver because you know, it's
(09:49):
completely different, and especially when it is a parent. So
I'm not trying to say, you know, a breakup and
losing a parent is the same, but it is a
sliver of being the same. When I relate to the
fact that I couldn't be alone in my thoughts for
a long time, I relate to that, and I did
the same thing. And what really got me out of
that was trying to do different things, hang out with
(10:14):
people in real life instead of texting people, because then
I made new, genuine connections or stronger connections. Because when
you're in a relationship, you know, you probably have a
much smaller circle or it is just that person or
that person in their circle, and you kind of shut
out your friends. So when you go through a breakup
(10:37):
and you kind of realize how small a circle you have,
if any, and then your grief process starts with this
person and the breakup is so hard. But at a
certain point, these friends or boys that you're talking to
and texting will translate into hanging out with people and
then gaining new friends, new relationships, new friendships, and that's
(11:03):
kind of the start of you having to put yourself
out there again to make new friends and connections. And
I feel like that is how you kind of gain
your independence back with the help of other people, because
then you will realize that you are okay and you're
good and you don't need all of this, You just
needed to get out there. You kind of get stuck
(11:27):
feeling so alone and so empty after a breakup that
sometimes you do need the help of other people to
get it back, and that's okay. So in my current relationship,
I've been there where I feel like in the beginning
of our relationship, he helped me a lot find who
I am. He made me realize I didn't need this,
I didn't want to do that. I realized that I
(11:49):
was so okay with where I was, who I am
deep down, not who I was trying to portray or
who I was trying to be. So with this relationship,
I found myself. And most people find themselves and then
they can find a partner. So it totally varies with
(12:10):
everyone with this, but it's already a good step that
you have acknowledged this. A lot of people don't. They
don't think that that's bad or that they don't that
they aren't independent. So it's just already a good step
that you're here and you can see what you need
to work on and what's not okay or what you're
not happy with. So just take it day by day,
(12:33):
do things that make you happy, get out of the house,
hang out with people, go to the gym, just do
something that takes up a lot of time. And also
try to do some of those things alone. I went
on so many walks in the beginning of our relationship,
and I think that that just helped me so much
by being alone, because I wasn't alone for so long.
(12:54):
I was constantly just flooding my phone, flooding my time,
my schedule just with people. And in the beginning of
this relationship, I was with him or I was alone,
and that alone time really really helped me. And I
don't think that I would have been able to feel
the way I do about myself without that. Okay, that
(13:16):
was really long, but I really really hoped it helped.
I was just really passionate about that one. Hi, Lovely,
you asked if we need any advice. So here's the question.
How do I know that someone is a true friend
and someone I can genuinely trust because I've been emotionally
(13:38):
manipulated and bullied by people I call my best friends
in the past, and my trust issues are brilliant to
say the least. Wow, so good, and you came to
the right place. There's even things in the past, like
a month or two with me and my friends that
have just you know, it's just so crazy. Where recently,
(13:58):
I was trying to look out for my friend and
I heard something someone said about someone. And I'm seriously
never in drama or tea, but this was someone that
I really cared about, and I had no idea who
this other person was. I was honestly not in the
middle of anything. I had just heard something from someone else.
(14:19):
I guess that does put me in the middle of it,
but I didn't hear it from this friend. And I'm
gonna go tell this friend. I have no idea who
this other girl is. So because of that, I just
wanted to let my friend know what was said about her.
And this girl was so annoyed and flabbergasted about this.
I was like, oh wow, Like I really did the
right thing, you know, I trusted my source or whatever.
(14:42):
Then I'm like away for a week and I'm not
really on my phone, and I come back and these
two girls they're like best friends. Now what in the world,
Because now I feel so weirded out by that. I
don't know, it just makes me feel like fake friend
vibe because if you're so put off by this girl's
comment and what she said about you, but now you're
gonna go be her best friend. It just really makes
(15:06):
me think about who that person kind of is. So,
as you guys probably know, I'm not super close with
a lot of girls, and it's really hard to find
friends in LA which I know it's similar everywhere else
in the world. And yes I do have followers, so
I already am careful on who I have in my
circle and I really don't add anyone new, and if
(15:29):
I do, it takes a lot for a long time.
People stay kind of on that outer ridge. It takes
a lot for me to break my walls now the
past like two three years. Another person who really helped
me with this is my boyfriend because he is the
closest person to me. You know, my mom doesn't live
here anymore, and she would be the person like growing
up in the dance world being like that girl's just
(15:50):
jealous of you, this girl, this, this girl that like
watch out for this girl. And so my boyfriend now
is super close to me and close with my friends
because they're friends with me. He can spot things a
mile away, and it's just so crazy because even people
he warns me about two, three months ago or even
a year ago. Wow, I can see it now, like
(16:12):
how do you have this superpower? But I guess I'm
the same way with people that are close with him
because I can see it too. It honestly my best advice.
It sucks to say, but the more closed off your
heart is, it's the best way to protect yourself. It
shouldn't be like that. We shouldn't have to hang out
with people three hundred times before we open up. But
(16:35):
you know, it literally has come to that. Now you
cannot just openly trust people, and it literally takes some work.
It's kind of a relationship. It takes so much time
to build trust, see the true colors of a person.
It can be six months, it could be five years.
You literally never know. And it goes the same with friendships.
(16:58):
So you literally have to tread light, take care of yourself,
know where your boundaries are with friends as well. It's
not just relationships that you can have boundaries with, it's
friendships as well. You are not a biach for standing
your ground and just know that I support that. Yeah, honestly,
just be more careful with your heart and who you
(17:19):
let into your life and try not to take some
bs from people. Okay, next one, I like this boy
and I've had a major crush on him since twenty seventeen,
but he doesn't like me back. Any advice on to
get over the crush. That's a long time girl to
still be holding on to that. I guess my advice here.
(17:40):
If they go to your same school and you kind
of have to see each other, this won't be the
best advice. But if it's just kind of an online
like distant friends or kind of see them around here
or there, just protect yourself. Don't go watching their stories. Honestly,
you should probably just unfollow. Out of sight, out of mind.
Maybe that'll really help you get over it, because if
(18:02):
you're truly trying to get over it, it has to
be out of sight, out of mind, or else it's
you're not going to like. You can't get over someone
when you're obsessing over them, So that is my advice.
Just try to not look. If you know that they
go to the same place every day and you're going
there just to see them, avoid that spot. If it's
in that friend group of yours and you're kind of
(18:23):
it's just like not good for your mental health to
be around them. Then try to make some new friends,
and again, protect your heart always. This is gonna be
a long episode. Guys, how a man can look mature
slash confident thinks? Okay, I think that maturity does come
with confidence and vice versa. I think they both are
(18:46):
hand in hand with each other. A good way to
become more mature is just time and friends. That's always
number one. You know, you are the product of your
five closest friends. So if your five closest friends are
image insecure? Insecure? Who says that in his song? I
think Kanye West, He's like in the cur Yeah, that
(19:11):
is where you start, you know, alone time, Jim eating. Well,
that all goes hand in hand with confidence turns to
maturity because you're not out there partying and hooking up
with people. You're working on yourself and that is sexy.
That is maturity, that is confidence. And so if that
(19:32):
is what you're trying to be, then you have to
take certain steps and do certain moves to get there.
It does not happen overnight. It can take years to
feel confidence. Another thing is making it so you make
it because especially with the confidence thing or honestly the
maturity thing. I have young friends and I have older friends,
and I act pretty different with them, you know. With
(19:54):
my friend Lily, I'm fun and I'll go in and
I'll start to blurt out songs and I'll do a
crazy dance move in the elevator. And then with my
older friends who are thirty years old, I am much
more calm, cool and collected. And that's just because I
read the room. I know what to do, you know,
I know what's okay when. Of course, being yourself everywhere
(20:17):
is something I like strive for, of course, but it's
come with a lot of time to get to that
place where I can feel confident and mature in different
ways with different types of friend groups. So my best
advice is get getting in the gym, feeling good about yourself.
That will turn to some confidence and that is always
(20:40):
always a good good place to start if you're trying
to feel good about yourself. Do you have any tips
for shaving? My hair grows back so fast, but I
can't shave every day because that will irritate my skin
so sucky in the summer. And by the way, I love,
love love of the podcast. Thank you Girl, okay tips
for I'm just I really am not good at this.
(21:04):
But something that I find helps me is exfoliating first.
I don't know if you've tried this or done this,
but exfoliating I use a sea salt scrub from the
brand see it's like O Sea or OJ Sea something
like that, and they have very good ingredients, very good brand. Yeah.
(21:26):
I like to exfoliate first. I think that that just
helps get a little deeper and a little bit honestly
smoother and also maybe just yeah, closer to the skin.
So that's number one, and number two is if you
know this is something that you really struggle with or
insecure about. I've also looked into uh, what's it called
(21:51):
laser hair removal. So because we're coming up on fall winter,
I'm mentioning this because you can in most places only
do it in fall winter because of sun, you're not
supposed to get laser hair removal and you like can't
go out in the sun. So that's why a lot
of people get it done in fall winter. So I'm
(22:11):
mentioning this because if that's something that you want to do,
it's almost the time to do it. And I wanted
to do it on my arms because I feel like
my arms. It's not that I shave them and they
grow back. It's just that I think I have like
more of a hairy arm, but it's also blonde, so
no one even knows that it's just a me thing. Yeah,
(22:32):
I've looked into it, and I know that you can
only do it in fall winter in California. Play not
that you can only, but since armpits in bikini area,
I'm pretty sure you could do it any time because
it's not like that's going to be really in the sun.
But since it's arms or legs, you have to be
careful with that. And that is really all I can say.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I mean, also, if it will irritate your skin, try
to just find better, cleaner products for you that work
for you. Try different ones, stick with them for over
three weeks, see if that helps. Switch products again, and
you will hopefully just find the routine that works best
for you. Last question, do girls like talking on snapchat
(23:11):
or text more?
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I do have some friends who are in relationships with
their longtime boyfriend and they only snapchat, and I just
really don't understand it. I would much rather text. I
don't know, I just like seeing your name pop them
up up on my phone. But I know you obviously
can do that on Snapchat, but it's just different. It's
(23:35):
also more personal, you know. I feel like I snapchat
my friends, I would like to text my boyfriend. So
it kind of varies by the girl. A lot of
girls I know only use Snapchat to talk to people.
Some only like text. So you honestly just have to
see what each person prefers and go from there. When
(23:55):
you're first meeting them or trying to ask for a
Snapchat or something, and you just be like, can I
have your number? Do you prefer or Snapchat? And then
like if they say, oh, I prefer Snapchat, you can
give your Snapchat keep talking. You can send your number
through there or whatever, but you can still keep talking
to them on snap I just think that it definitely
varies per person, and that's all I can say. But
I definitely prefer text. Well, thank you guys so much
(24:26):
for listening to today's episode. If you wanted to watch it,
you can also watch on YouTube. We are oh she
can to say why. We will see you guys next
week for a new episode. Say bye, oh my god,
stay bye. Thank you you've.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Been listening to the Jordan Jolles Podcast. Jordan's passion is
to inspire, relate, and give you that much needed one
hour escape from life's everyday struggles, your family, and We're
so glad you're here. Make sure to like, rate, review,
and subscribe. We'll be back soon, but in the meantime
(25:15):
find us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram at Jordan Jones
j O R d y N. This production is brought
to you by straw Hut Media, hosted by Jordan Jones,
produced by Ryan Tillotson, edited by Daniel Ferrera. Additional production
help by Carolyn Mendoza, Ali Ahmed, and Samir Gonchi. Keep
(25:38):
shunning right like that diamond you are and see you
next time on the Jordan Joes Podcast
Straw media. I've been watching South Park and so every
time I say like okay, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Like, okay, okay, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Welcome back to Jordan Jones Podcast. You guys. It may
seem like we've been active over here, but I had
pre recorded episodes. We had a horrible Instagram fiasco that
I will tell you guys all about. And then now
we're back because I'm done traveling for a little bit
and Macha is here again. She's so happy she just
(00:45):
jumps right out of her little bag here and goes
running all around. So we're happy to be back. I'm
happy to talk to you guys again and answer your
questions and help you guys out. But yeah, that Instagram
thing I have to tell you guys about. I went
on at the end of July to go post a
clip and I got logged out. I was like, what
(01:06):
what's happening right now? I've only been hacked on my
main Instagram one time in twenty sixteen or something, and
never again. My passwords are so crazy. My email associated
and phone number associated is nowhere near mine. So even
if I were to get hacked or my friends and
family closest to me, would get hacked. It's just like
(01:27):
the craziest loophole to you know, crazy two factor authentication system.
But with my podcast, Instagram and all these other accounts
I have, I have my normal information. So I was like,
oh my gosh, I got hacked, Like someone is coming
for me right now. No, I got reported for impersonating
Jordan Jones because it's not verified and it's not my
(01:51):
actual Jordan Jones account, it's my podcast account. So yeah,
someone reported me, and it must have happened more times
than one, because I don't think one person reporting me.
So there's a lot of people out there, I guess
thinking I'm faking myself in my Instagram. But it was
easy to get it, you know, dismissed. I was like
(02:11):
so scared. It was like ten thirty PM and I
DM the COO of Instagram because I know him from
multiple Instagram and meta events, and he answered me in
this same like three minutes at night, and he was
He's like do this, do this, do this, and I'll
get back to you tomorrow. The next day, boom, Instagram
is back. I'm like, thank you. I didn't even go
(02:33):
to my managers and agents. I was so stressed. Out
at ten thirty pm. Just hey, just will you help
me with this? So, yeah, we are back and better
than ever. I had to put the podcast on hold
for a week or two just to get all of
that sordid. So I'm able to you know, promote and
ask you guys questions and have my DMS open and
(02:53):
all of these messages will be from my Instagram account
from you guys directly who have asked me for it.
So I'm so happy to be back back in the
studio and on my regular schedule. So let's get back
to schedule programming and jump right into these questions from
you guys. The first one, I've had a crush on
(03:14):
a girl for ages and we get on super well.
Wait what does that mean? Like we get along super well? Okay,
and yet both of us are scared that we will
ruin our friendship when we take the leap. What should
I do? Wow? Okay, this is a question we have
answered similarly similarly, similarly, similarly, we have had this question.
(03:43):
They've got a similar question before. And everyone has been
in this dilemma okay, where you are friends with someone
or you think it's just friends and you kind of
both have that little thing your mind of would this
work with this not? With this ruin our friendship? You know,
(04:04):
we have all been there, whether we were you know,
in high school in middle school and you have a
little crush. I had this like little crush because my
mom and her mom, her mom, my mom and his
mom tried to like say, we were cute together and
we would like roller skate to the mall together or
something when we were like five or six years old.
(04:27):
And I feel like, even back then, you're like, do
I have a crush on him? Or is he just
like my friend? You don't really know, and we've all
been here. I always bring up like lust versus love
and liking someone, because sometimes we are just infactuated with
lust and that is not love. That is where it's tricky.
(04:49):
And I think that that is what you're talking about here.
If I look back at people I've been interested in
or I've kind of been in this dilemma before, I
really really think the best advice I could give you, guys,
is to shut that person out for a bit, take
a break, because time will tell and distance will help
(05:11):
you kind of realize what you're thinking. Because if you're
just constantly hanging out or seeing them. You know, that's
kind of just gonna automatically turn into something, especially if
you both like each other. So I really would suggest
pumping the breaks, taking a look back at everything, being rational.
I wish I could take my own advice and go
(05:33):
back in the past with some of these Always I'm like, oh,
I'm giving good advice that you guys should really take,
because I wish I did when you know it's just
lust or attention or something like that. So that is
my advice to you. I think that you shouldn't take
the leap until you know one hundred percent, because yes,
(05:55):
that can ruin friendships. It has, it will, it happens.
That is why I think that you should just take
it slow, go where your heart tells you at the
end of the day. But that's just my advice. Next one,
I hope you're doing well. I saw your message on
the group chat and I was wondering if you had
any tips for a first date. Thank you tips for
(06:15):
a first date? Okay, I honestly think this would be fun. Okay,
if you live near any type of outdoor shopping mall,
I think it would be fun to meet up around
five and you kind of walk around and talk and
shop and you know, get a little bite to eat
at What'seo's Pretzels or something like that, and then you know,
(06:37):
if it's going well, you can get dinner at this
shopping center because they probably have restaurants, and then after
you go to the restaurant, you can get some ice cream.
I just think that a longer kind of hanging out
thing where you can test different scenarios because some people
just like dinner, but I think dinners are awkward for
(06:58):
a first date. So having you know, kind of one
on one time walking around, shopping around, kind of seeing
how the person like acts, talks, flirts, cracks jokes. Taking
that on to dinner is better than just meeting up
at a dinner. But basically, I think dinner on a
first date is a good thing, but I like to
(07:18):
break the ice first. I'm not one to like a huge,
crazy activity on a first date, but a lot of
people do think mini golf or a fair is a
good first date. But okay, a fair could be cute. Actually,
a fair could be cute because you're kind of doing
the same thing I said about walking around and stuff
like that. But imagine, if you know your first date.
(07:41):
A lot of people you know you don't like hold
hands or kiss and stuff like that, so you know,
by like two, three, four, you can be at the
fair and you're like holding hands on the ride and
it's just like another step. And I think stuff like
that is cute. So I think my final answer is
walking around shopping dinner first date. I think that's great.
(08:04):
Or a coffee shop. You know, if you really need
to not have something added at the end and you're
really just testing it out, just a coffee shop is good.
All right. Next one, I'm taking you up on some advice, Girly.
I've been single for months and I cannot gain my
independence back. I've been through breakups before and have learned
to be alone and enjoyed it since my last breakup,
(08:24):
though I can't seem to do it. I have to
constantly be texting or talking to a boy or I
feel alone. Lmfao, do you have any tips on how
to be okay with being by myself? I love how
you are so independent being in a relationship yourself. Wow,
this is really a really, really good question. I also
(08:45):
love this girl. Her name is Jordan, and we talk
a lot on DMS and we've also met a few times.
I also have her on Snapchat, so I feel like,
you know, I kind of personally know her and can
really understand the situation because I would see her with
this guy that she had broken up with, and while
she was dating him, you know, I could tell she
(09:06):
just looked so happy and fulfilled and how heartbroken she
must be now because if she's kind of been through
breakups before and she's just been okay and been able
to shake it off and now she's you know, really hurting,
I totally understand and get where she's coming from with this.
So another thing I can relate this to is grief
(09:28):
because when I lost my dad, I had to constantly
be texting people, facetiming people. I couldn't be alone in
my thoughts. I couldn't be alone. It's kind of like that.
I mean, when you are dating someone, it's a little
sliver of what grief actually feels like when you guys
break up. And I say sliver because you know, it's
(09:49):
completely different, and especially when it is a parent. So
I'm not trying to say, you know, a breakup and
losing a parent is the same, but it is a
sliver of being the same. When I relate to the
fact that I couldn't be alone in my thoughts for
a long time, I relate to that, and I did
the same thing. And what really got me out of
that was trying to do different things, hang out with
(10:14):
people in real life instead of texting people, because then
I made new, genuine connections or stronger connections. Because when
you're in a relationship, you know, you probably have a
much smaller circle or it is just that person or
that person in their circle, and you kind of shut
out your friends. So when you go through a breakup
(10:37):
and you kind of realize how small a circle you have,
if any, and then your grief process starts with this
person and the breakup is so hard. But at a
certain point, these friends or boys that you're talking to
and texting will translate into hanging out with people and
then gaining new friends, new relationships, new friendships, and that's
(11:03):
kind of the start of you having to put yourself
out there again to make new friends and connections. And
I feel like that is how you kind of gain
your independence back with the help of other people, because
then you will realize that you are okay and you're
good and you don't need all of this, You just
needed to get out there. You kind of get stuck
(11:27):
feeling so alone and so empty after a breakup that
sometimes you do need the help of other people to
get it back, and that's okay. So in my current relationship,
I've been there where I feel like in the beginning
of our relationship, he helped me a lot find who
I am. He made me realize I didn't need this,
I didn't want to do that. I realized that I
(11:49):
was so okay with where I was, who I am
deep down, not who I was trying to portray or
who I was trying to be. So with this relationship,
I found myself. And most people find themselves and then
they can find a partner. So it totally varies with
(12:10):
everyone with this, but it's already a good step that
you have acknowledged this. A lot of people don't. They
don't think that that's bad or that they don't that
they aren't independent. So it's just already a good step
that you're here and you can see what you need
to work on and what's not okay or what you're
not happy with. So just take it day by day,
(12:33):
do things that make you happy, get out of the house,
hang out with people, go to the gym, just do
something that takes up a lot of time. And also
try to do some of those things alone. I went
on so many walks in the beginning of our relationship,
and I think that that just helped me so much
by being alone, because I wasn't alone for so long.
(12:54):
I was constantly just flooding my phone, flooding my time,
my schedule just with people. And in the beginning of
this relationship, I was with him or I was alone,
and that alone time really really helped me. And I
don't think that I would have been able to feel
the way I do about myself without that. Okay, that
(13:16):
was really long, but I really really hoped it helped.
I was just really passionate about that one. Hi, Lovely,
you asked if we need any advice. So here's the question.
How do I know that someone is a true friend
and someone I can genuinely trust because I've been emotionally
(13:38):
manipulated and bullied by people I call my best friends
in the past, and my trust issues are brilliant to
say the least. Wow, so good, and you came to
the right place. There's even things in the past, like
a month or two with me and my friends that
have just you know, it's just so crazy. Where recently,
(13:58):
I was trying to look out for my friend and
I heard something someone said about someone. And I'm seriously
never in drama or tea, but this was someone that
I really cared about, and I had no idea who
this other person was. I was honestly not in the
middle of anything. I had just heard something from someone else.
(14:19):
I guess that does put me in the middle of it,
but I didn't hear it from this friend. And I'm
gonna go tell this friend. I have no idea who
this other girl is. So because of that, I just
wanted to let my friend know what was said about her.
And this girl was so annoyed and flabbergasted about this.
I was like, oh wow, Like I really did the
right thing, you know, I trusted my source or whatever.
(14:42):
Then I'm like away for a week and I'm not
really on my phone, and I come back and these
two girls they're like best friends. Now what in the world,
Because now I feel so weirded out by that. I
don't know, it just makes me feel like fake friend
vibe because if you're so put off by this girl's
comment and what she said about you, but now you're
gonna go be her best friend. It just really makes
(15:06):
me think about who that person kind of is. So,
as you guys probably know, I'm not super close with
a lot of girls, and it's really hard to find
friends in LA which I know it's similar everywhere else
in the world. And yes I do have followers, so
I already am careful on who I have in my
circle and I really don't add anyone new, and if
(15:29):
I do, it takes a lot for a long time.
People stay kind of on that outer ridge. It takes
a lot for me to break my walls now the
past like two three years. Another person who really helped
me with this is my boyfriend because he is the
closest person to me. You know, my mom doesn't live
here anymore, and she would be the person like growing
up in the dance world being like that girl's just
(15:50):
jealous of you, this girl, this, this girl that like
watch out for this girl. And so my boyfriend now
is super close to me and close with my friends
because they're friends with me. He can spot things a
mile away, and it's just so crazy because even people
he warns me about two, three months ago or even
a year ago. Wow, I can see it now, like
(16:12):
how do you have this superpower? But I guess I'm
the same way with people that are close with him
because I can see it too. It honestly my best advice.
It sucks to say, but the more closed off your
heart is, it's the best way to protect yourself. It
shouldn't be like that. We shouldn't have to hang out
with people three hundred times before we open up. But
(16:35):
you know, it literally has come to that. Now you
cannot just openly trust people, and it literally takes some work.
It's kind of a relationship. It takes so much time
to build trust, see the true colors of a person.
It can be six months, it could be five years.
You literally never know. And it goes the same with friendships.
(16:58):
So you literally have to tread light, take care of yourself,
know where your boundaries are with friends as well. It's
not just relationships that you can have boundaries with, it's
friendships as well. You are not a biach for standing
your ground and just know that I support that. Yeah, honestly,
just be more careful with your heart and who you
(17:19):
let into your life and try not to take some
bs from people. Okay, next one, I like this boy
and I've had a major crush on him since twenty seventeen,
but he doesn't like me back. Any advice on to
get over the crush. That's a long time girl to
still be holding on to that. I guess my advice here.
(17:40):
If they go to your same school and you kind
of have to see each other, this won't be the
best advice. But if it's just kind of an online
like distant friends or kind of see them around here
or there, just protect yourself. Don't go watching their stories. Honestly,
you should probably just unfollow. Out of sight, out of mind.
Maybe that'll really help you get over it, because if
(18:02):
you're truly trying to get over it, it has to
be out of sight, out of mind, or else it's
you're not going to like. You can't get over someone
when you're obsessing over them, So that is my advice.
Just try to not look. If you know that they
go to the same place every day and you're going
there just to see them, avoid that spot. If it's
in that friend group of yours and you're kind of
(18:23):
it's just like not good for your mental health to
be around them. Then try to make some new friends,
and again, protect your heart always. This is gonna be
a long episode. Guys, how a man can look mature
slash confident thinks? Okay, I think that maturity does come
with confidence and vice versa. I think they both are
(18:46):
hand in hand with each other. A good way to
become more mature is just time and friends. That's always
number one. You know, you are the product of your
five closest friends. So if your five closest friends are
image insecure? Insecure? Who says that in his song? I
think Kanye West, He's like in the cur Yeah, that
(19:11):
is where you start, you know, alone time, Jim eating. Well,
that all goes hand in hand with confidence turns to
maturity because you're not out there partying and hooking up
with people. You're working on yourself and that is sexy.
That is maturity, that is confidence. And so if that
(19:32):
is what you're trying to be, then you have to
take certain steps and do certain moves to get there.
It does not happen overnight. It can take years to
feel confidence. Another thing is making it so you make
it because especially with the confidence thing or honestly the
maturity thing. I have young friends and I have older friends,
and I act pretty different with them, you know. With
(19:54):
my friend Lily, I'm fun and I'll go in and
I'll start to blurt out songs and I'll do a
crazy dance move in the elevator. And then with my
older friends who are thirty years old, I am much
more calm, cool and collected. And that's just because I
read the room. I know what to do, you know,
I know what's okay when. Of course, being yourself everywhere
(20:17):
is something I like strive for, of course, but it's
come with a lot of time to get to that
place where I can feel confident and mature in different
ways with different types of friend groups. So my best
advice is get getting in the gym, feeling good about yourself.
That will turn to some confidence and that is always
(20:40):
always a good good place to start if you're trying
to feel good about yourself. Do you have any tips
for shaving? My hair grows back so fast, but I
can't shave every day because that will irritate my skin
so sucky in the summer. And by the way, I love,
love love of the podcast. Thank you Girl, okay tips
for I'm just I really am not good at this.
(21:04):
But something that I find helps me is exfoliating first.
I don't know if you've tried this or done this,
but exfoliating I use a sea salt scrub from the
brand see it's like O Sea or OJ Sea something
like that, and they have very good ingredients, very good brand. Yeah.
(21:26):
I like to exfoliate first. I think that that just
helps get a little deeper and a little bit honestly
smoother and also maybe just yeah, closer to the skin.
So that's number one, and number two is if you
know this is something that you really struggle with or
insecure about. I've also looked into uh, what's it called
(21:51):
laser hair removal. So because we're coming up on fall winter,
I'm mentioning this because you can in most places only
do it in fall winter because of sun, you're not
supposed to get laser hair removal and you like can't
go out in the sun. So that's why a lot
of people get it done in fall winter. So I'm
(22:11):
mentioning this because if that's something that you want to do,
it's almost the time to do it. And I wanted
to do it on my arms because I feel like
my arms. It's not that I shave them and they
grow back. It's just that I think I have like
more of a hairy arm, but it's also blonde, so
no one even knows that it's just a me thing. Yeah,
(22:32):
I've looked into it, and I know that you can
only do it in fall winter in California. Play not
that you can only, but since armpits in bikini area,
I'm pretty sure you could do it any time because
it's not like that's going to be really in the sun.
But since it's arms or legs, you have to be
careful with that. And that is really all I can say.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
I mean, also, if it will irritate your skin, try
to just find better, cleaner products for you that work
for you. Try different ones, stick with them for over
three weeks, see if that helps. Switch products again, and
you will hopefully just find the routine that works best
for you. Last question, do girls like talking on snapchat
(23:11):
or text more?
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
I do have some friends who are in relationships with
their longtime boyfriend and they only snapchat, and I just
really don't understand it. I would much rather text. I
don't know, I just like seeing your name pop them
up up on my phone. But I know you obviously
can do that on Snapchat, but it's just different. It's
(23:35):
also more personal, you know. I feel like I snapchat
my friends, I would like to text my boyfriend. So
it kind of varies by the girl. A lot of
girls I know only use Snapchat to talk to people.
Some only like text. So you honestly just have to
see what each person prefers and go from there. When
(23:55):
you're first meeting them or trying to ask for a
Snapchat or something, and you just be like, can I
have your number? Do you prefer or Snapchat? And then
like if they say, oh, I prefer Snapchat, you can
give your Snapchat keep talking. You can send your number
through there or whatever, but you can still keep talking
to them on snap I just think that it definitely
varies per person, and that's all I can say. But
I definitely prefer text. Well, thank you guys so much
(24:26):
for listening to today's episode. If you wanted to watch it,
you can also watch on YouTube. We are oh she
can to say why. We will see you guys next
week for a new episode. Say bye, oh my god,
stay bye. Thank you you've.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Been listening to the Jordan Jolles Podcast. Jordan's passion is
to inspire, relate, and give you that much needed one
hour escape from life's everyday struggles, your family, and We're
so glad you're here. Make sure to like, rate, review,
and subscribe. We'll be back soon, but in the meantime
(25:15):
find us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram at Jordan Jones
j O R d y N. This production is brought
to you by straw Hut Media, hosted by Jordan Jones,
produced by Ryan Tillotson, edited by Daniel Ferrera. Additional production
help by Carolyn Mendoza, Ali Ahmed, and Samir Gonchi. Keep
(25:38):
shunning right like that diamond you are and see you
next time on the Jordan Joes Podcast
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