BIG FACTS feat. Corey Lamar (Rich Homie Quan’s Father)

Corey Lamar, father of Rich Homie Quan, sits down with Big Facts to share his truth. He opens up about the trauma of losing his son, how he’s coping with the pain, his plans to continue Quan’s legacy, and some of his most cherished memories with him.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Big Bank DJ screens and Baby J with the number
one podcast industry, Big Big.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Facts, a lot from Revolt Studios and the atl's time
for Big Facts, Big Bank, Baby J DJ scream here
today with the father of the legends of the late
Great rich On Me Kawan, Corey Lamar.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
Welcome to What's What's What's up? My brother?

Speaker 3 (00:22):
How you feeling man?

Speaker 1 (00:23):
How you feeling all right?

Speaker 4 (00:25):
Man? Still processing? You know, trying to process, man.

Speaker 5 (00:28):
Yeah, trying to keep one feet in front of another
one man, still surreal to me, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (00:36):
But my faith, man, my faith in.

Speaker 5 (00:38):
God and you know, support man, keep me going.

Speaker 4 (00:42):
But you know, just trying to.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
Ask you that too, what with such a tragedy, like
who outside of your faith in God?

Speaker 4 (00:50):
Of course?

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Like who or what is your support system to help
you get by on the day to day man?

Speaker 4 (00:56):
You know who instrumental?

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Man?

Speaker 5 (00:57):
And who had been on me about seeing a therapist
before corn transition, that boy, take like one take was
on me on me heaven man, because like I share
a lot of stuff with him, you know what I'm saying,
Like that's like my little brother or whatever and him man,

(01:18):
and like family. You know what I'm saying I'm proud,
but I'm a loner. You know what I'm saying, Like,
I don't I don't kick it with a lot of people, man,
So if I had to just say, like one person
in direct will be mon Ta Man. You know I
talked to him about a lot of stuff and no
ship from the day corn transition that I called him.

(01:39):
You know, dude, was there, been there even before you
know what I'm saying, like instrumental in helping me man
deal with corn and summer corn darkest moments. You know
what I'm saying, He was there, man, So definitely might
take shout out man Tayle.

Speaker 6 (01:52):
And that's like, that's one thing that I wanted to
to ask you, not trying to get too deep into it,
but being the that you and Kwan were so close
and you were so hands on and every aspect of
his life from the music, to your grandkids, to the
family to like all of that kind of stuff, how

(02:15):
did you kind of, like scream said, navigate through that
or through the feeling of knowing that you weren't able
to be there for him at that time that was
so important.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
I wouldn't say I wasn't there.

Speaker 6 (02:30):
I mean like physically, like you physically weren't there, because
you know, when that happens to people sometimes because it's
happened to me before, you have what they call survivor's remorse.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Because I don't have that. I don't have that.

Speaker 5 (02:41):
Okay, I guess I could elaborate and say, keep in mind,
See I was born without my biological father. So the
first day I met Coorn, the first day I held
Corn bro my life changed and I knew that.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
My dad fell shut up with me. It wasn't gonna
happen with me and my kid or kids.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
You follow me, and you have to realize I've been
in corn life since day one up until his transition.
And what you have to realize is as a parent,
you can only raise a child. You call me and
as you do your best, which I did, and you
give advice.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
You know.

Speaker 5 (03:22):
I have to tell people like Corn was thirty four,
he wasn't fourteen. We used to have conversations and I
would be like, you know, like, hey man, whatever you're
going through, yeah, I'm saying in a po bottle, a
liquor bottle, or a syrup bottle. You follow me, and
at the end of the day, you know, like when
you had them conversations and you let your child know, hey,
I'm here for you. You know, I'm an ride with you.

(03:44):
But at the end of the day, it was my
responsibility to make him a man. I can't hold his
hand and say do this and do that. And during
those times for when you see your kid in a
dark space, which I saw Corn in a dark space,
I would never deny that. Those are the times I prayed.
You know what I'm saying. I just prayed. And you know,
for the most part, I don't have guilt. I don't

(04:09):
have sorrow. If you see me crying or you see
me down, it's because I miss him in the flesh.
As far as being a parent, I went beyond the
call of dud, you know what I'm saying, Like cornn
Corn didn't know about paying bills. Corn a lot of
And I used to tell my tell bro, we created this.
And I'm cool with you know my position as a dad. Hindsight,

(04:33):
Could I have done more?

Speaker 4 (04:35):
Sure?

Speaker 5 (04:36):
I know I could have me Mike Cook, could out
have like just went and got him in the headlock.
You know what I'm saying, Like I've set up therapy
for him. You know, he won a few times, you
know what I'm saying, But at the end of the day,
you have to allow a person to be who they are,
you know, and then at the end of the day,
guess what, I got a life.

Speaker 4 (04:55):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (04:56):
I can't dedicate one percent of my time and I've
done that so much much of my life, so you know,
you get to a point where it just have to
be like, you know what, I love you, I pray
for you. But at the end of the day, I
can stand ten toes down and say, as far as
being a dad, man, Nick can't touch me with that.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
What do you think put him in that dark space?
Would you say?

Speaker 4 (05:20):
Corn was full of excuses?

Speaker 7 (05:22):
Man?

Speaker 4 (05:24):
Corn was the type of kid you don't do just
enough to get by. So I would say, the industry,
you know what I'm saying, And I'll call an asa
on a spade a spade. You know, the separation with
him and Thug took a toll on him, man, you know,
right like like when they when they went their separate ways,

(05:46):
you know what I'm saying, And you know, like a
lot of the industry didn't funk with that's just yeah,
you know, yeah, you said it right picked sides.

Speaker 5 (05:55):
You know what I'm saying. And you know, as a
dad man, you know you you could see the hurt
and he's human, you know what I'm saying. And you know,
like being in situations that you know not beneficial, man,
but you just there. You know, shit, we all been
there and done that before.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Man.

Speaker 5 (06:12):
You know you know thish it ain't beneficial, but you're
still here, you know what I'm saying. Like when I
was growing up, man, and I went through adversity, I
was taught to pray. This new generation man that got
all these vices that they turn to. Man, you know
what I'm saying, and they think that's their outlet. You
follow me so like it's just a lot of hed
to do with the industry, man, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
Like what you do you think it was like trying
to stand in hot space? Like you know how it go.
Most artists go through this, like they come out so
hot and then you know when you ain't dropping in
in a while and you gotta go. You gotta still
be rich homing when you walk outside, but inside you

(06:54):
don't feel like you're doing your you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (06:58):
And that's a great to put it. But I used
to tell Corn, you know, like bro, you know what
come with the game when you chosen you gotta know
how to turn on the quantas and turn on rich
on me.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (07:11):
And at the end of the day, like me being
older and watching from afar, I knew this shit was temporary. Man,
I know ain't nothing in life. However, man, so girl,
we're gonna do. We're gonna milk it doing our alloted time.
We're gonna put these chips up and when the time
come for us to pass the torch, we okay. But

(07:32):
as an artist, they don't see it like that. Forever
forever you feel what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
But become a drug, that becoming an addiction.

Speaker 5 (07:40):
It's an addiction because like you said, for you travel
the world, you know, people treat you like roy to
wherever you go, you fly first class, you eat the
best of foods, you stay in the best of hotels.

Speaker 8 (07:52):
Shit.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
I used to say, man, I used to see Corn
turn out ship.

Speaker 5 (07:56):
I wish I could rapt and follow dollars brother for
thirty minutes of your time.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
You don't feel like, Wow, they got couln't.

Speaker 5 (08:07):
Have for twist this year all to me make a
thousand dollars.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
They may have took two days for me to make
a ract. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (08:15):
Shit, and now you got the you got the ability
to open your mouth. You think, Bro, you got a
forty five minutes sit may DJ go out there entertainer
for fifteen minutes and they.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
Gonna put you up in the nice and shit.

Speaker 4 (08:29):
Come on, man. So I used to be like, Bro,
you don't know what I went through to get where
I'm at. You know what I'm saying, And.

Speaker 5 (08:37):
That's why, like man, like like this young generation understand.
You know that ship that we went through, Bro, the
sacrifices that we made. So it's like like you said, man, honestly,
man sometimes should be a good fan of curse man.
That should be a good friend, especially especially when you
come from like you said, you come from having a
good parent and having because it it kind of create entitlement.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
You get what I'm saying. So you you always been
had somebody to have your back, so you feel like
you can relax because somebody got your back. I couldn't
never relax. It's like Nigga, if I relax. I'm gonna
be somewhere on my back on the street. You get
you know what I'm saying. So I ain't no relax.
You gotta go hard like you said, nigga. I gotta
cut nigga. Do like you said, nigga, I got done

(09:23):
to cut every I gotta be run to every car
like you said. You gotta sit there and cut every outlet.
I gotta run to every car.

Speaker 4 (09:29):
And get what sitting at the barber shop. You gotta
hope and pray, motherfucker, pull up. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (09:34):
You gotta hold and pray you meet your quota. You
gotta hold and pray that you get to be of
money and then have some money to say. But I
see like I ain't like me and coryn a conversation, man,
a few months for your pass, Like damn, man, everything
you buy me, everything I buy you, man, you take
it back and you tell me you don't want to
tell them coin. I ain't accustomed to that. If you
buy me some Gucci shoes, I ain't going to buy

(09:55):
the bell in the shirt man.

Speaker 4 (09:57):
Not for me. So don't buy me that shit. Give
me some amacs on I don't.

Speaker 5 (10:01):
I don't require all that, man, you know, like when
you call me and say pop, when you look at
the critic card man, I just bought me a watch
and I go looking it over and you spent the
filthy man at the lord have mercy money where I
call from all the.

Speaker 4 (10:15):
Watch man like I ain't had it like that, you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (10:18):
Like I worked for this paper man, and I used
to always be taught, Hey, man, work the good days
so on the bad was come, you be all right,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
So so I would raise old school man. See now,
but the industry money is kind of like lick money.
It come easy. They let it go easy. See when
you work hard, this ship come hard. So it ain't
going it ain't going easy, that's right. You know what
I'm saying. My shit too hard for me to get.
Like like now niggas be calling at this ship. Was
different when I was in the streets. Yeah, this street money,
Yeah we get this ship plentiful because getting easy. But

(10:47):
now I get up and go to work. She ain't
coming easy. It ain't going easy, you know.

Speaker 5 (10:53):
And and see that was always my mindset, like I
never want when to come out to the financer.

Speaker 4 (10:59):
I never want to have no regrets.

Speaker 5 (11:01):
I didn't want to say, damn, bro, if I had
a bought that dumb ass item, you know, maybe I
could have been in a better situation. So, like when
the paper started coming in, man, like Nigga had corn
on a salary. Man, you feel me like, hey man,
you're back in your money. This other money to law
have mercy money, man, And you know I would go

(11:22):
to them, Hey man, look I find invest in this
you want to be a part of. Yeah, So that's
how we started buying properties and stuff. I started putting
that money in dirt. Man, you feel what I'm saying,
baking lots of about the beltline and Airbnb's and and
and like back in the day when when when condos
were cheap downtown you know, bought a condo, you know
what I'm saying. So I was always looking at trying

(11:45):
to get my kids and grandkids ahead started, you know
what I'm saying. So that that's been my mindset for
as like just being disciplined, man, and just staying.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
In my lane, bro, not worrying about what everybody else doing.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
Shit.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah you do know, Like but with the material items.
I know that you know it that you can never
repay the people that brought you in this word and
raise you. But that was probably his way of saying,
I'll give you anything, Pops, I do anything for you.
You know what I'm saying, because because you raised me
and you taught me how to be a man, and
you brought me this far. Now that I got it,
I willing to do whatever for you. But in response

(12:20):
you saying I don't need all that. All I need
is just my son.

Speaker 4 (12:24):
Yeah. Yeah, Like at the end of the day, I
was raised by my granddad.

Speaker 5 (12:28):
My granddad never gave me nothing, but he gave me opportunity.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
I had to work for what I wanted. And my
kids were the same way that.

Speaker 5 (12:37):
Just like Nick can't call me then ask for no money, nigga,
my kids don't even call at me for money.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
Man, Bro, you just said this is my slogan. My
kids don't even add me like the rent money and
they figured out and guess I'm going to give it
to somebody.

Speaker 4 (12:53):
Else and get what I just told somebody the other day.
Man as me and.

Speaker 5 (12:57):
You gotta figure it out, brol me. I don't give
for what's going on brou for every problem, it's a solution.
My dad used to tell me, Hey, man, I don't
want to talk about the problem, tell me your solution.
And it was programmed in me, man, because at the
end of the day, man like I was so disciplined.
I ain't have room to mess no money up. Bro,

(13:18):
you feel me. I wasn't in the streets when everybody
was going left. I was going right when them nigga
would go on to Floorda kicking it and stuff and
going to Lake Lanill. I wanted to do it, but
I wasn't doing what they were doing. So I didn't
have the money they had, so I had to take
my little chips home put them up. But that discipline
panned out over the years. You know what I'm saying.

(13:38):
And another thing is to where people don't realize. One
of my partners told me, said, man, this fo coin passed.
He said, I saw a nigga told me man corn
and fell off. He said, I told nigga, I just
went to the Nigga house. Nigga got a one point
fired me in all the house and he got a
raif nigarad nigg got to escalating his draiveaway heir cats
swim pool. If that's falling off, I want to fall off,
you feel me. So the reality is, you know, in

(14:00):
society today, if you're not in the lin like, you
ain't doing it.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Attention to current.

Speaker 4 (14:06):
Believe that.

Speaker 5 (14:07):
So if they can't see it, you done fell I
was seeing a lot of people don't realize like the
way stuff was set up in structured.

Speaker 4 (14:14):
Corn was spoiled by the money that was put up, man.

Speaker 5 (14:18):
And you got to realize, man, when you got a house,
you got cars and everything paid for, and you don't
have monthly bills like the average person, and you still
getting your publishing checks coming in and stuff.

Speaker 4 (14:31):
He didn't have.

Speaker 5 (14:32):
To move, you know, like everybody else because at the
end of the day, like we just had them conversations,
you know, like, Man, you know you got kids, Like
Corn got a sign seventeen. Bro, Yeah, Corn got a
sign twelve. One of the beautiful things about it that
I'm proud of them. Before the transition, Man, he developed
a relationship with all his kids, a personal relationship with

(14:53):
you know what I'm saying, And everybody got their own
memories of being with their dad. Now that's that's rich
to me.

Speaker 4 (14:59):
Man. You feel me.

Speaker 5 (15:00):
The money, the material stuff, that's cool, but you know,
talking to these kids and you know, like they go
through it brouh. You know, like I miss my dad,
you know, like I talked to him, like let's talk.
What you missed. I missed my daddy picking me up
from school. I miss my daddy being in the swimming pool.

Speaker 8 (15:16):
Man.

Speaker 5 (15:17):
I miss my daddy making me do my homework. I
miss sitting down just eating with him. See that's that.
That's what I'm big on, man. You know, like if
you get it right with your kids, regardless of what
they do or how they come out, bro, because when
it's all said and done, you got to give an
account for your actions.

Speaker 4 (15:31):
Man.

Speaker 5 (15:33):
So so so that's just that's just how I look
at it, man. The money, the material stuff, that's cool, grateful,
but at the end of the day, man.

Speaker 4 (15:41):
He's more so the morals and the badges and integrative
to me. Man.

Speaker 5 (15:45):
So he had like more than one baby mama, right,
five kids, four baby mama.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
So how you so so that following you? How you
how you juggling? So you got four baby mamas now
basically and why I can't deal with one woman never
left four of them? Everybody got their own attitude. And
that's a million dollar question. That's a great question.

Speaker 5 (16:07):
And understand this, man, I buried a lot of my
family moments. I know the process, but wore I'm at
now this shit foreigner than me, Bro.

Speaker 4 (16:18):
It's new.

Speaker 5 (16:20):
I'm trying to do what's right, deal with all this
that that's been presented to me and grieve at the
same time. But I just look at it like, but
just keeping it the book, man, Like, hey, Quorn didn't
have a kid by hisself. Her kids with somebody. So
when you become a parent, you have to step up

(16:43):
and be a parent, you understand. And at the end
of the day, an the event something happened to a
mama or daddy, then that responsibility falls on the parent
that's there, and you have to think about all that
when you choose to have kid.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
So my model real simple.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
Bro.

Speaker 5 (16:59):
If I can't do for all of them, I ain't
doing for one of them. Man, you feel me, it's
a it's an even playing field with me, man, if
they need me, and it makes sense I now, But
if it's for just like sure, I ain't with that, man,
I ain't with that. I'm gonna be here from grandkids.
And that's and I and like I know Corn would say, pop,
make sure my kids good. That's my number one part

(17:21):
making sure them kids set for life.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Man, I can't make sure the mama be sitting.

Speaker 8 (17:26):
No.

Speaker 5 (17:26):
I mean like like if they get in the hardship.
But if they get in a hardship black and they
trying and they handling their business and fall short, damn right,
I don't standing the paint. But but but if I'm
not here, still get me some money. You gotta get
you some money, man.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, I can't. I can't uphold your life down. No,
I can't.

Speaker 5 (17:49):
I can't because guess what, I live on a budget myself, man,
So so care what I've accepted the fact that my
son ain't coming back and whatever he did or do
for others, you have to understanding coming back. So you
got to make adjustments, man. And if that means you
getting you a job, going to work, by all means

(18:11):
do that.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Let me ask you something you because and it's a
crazy question, but let me ask you, even though you
hurting and going through grief, whatever, do you feel like
him passing gave you some type of strength?

Speaker 5 (18:27):
No doubt, no doubt because like Prime example. Man, like
I was in the tag. I was a couple of
months ago picking a tag of one of the vans,
and I ain't know this. Later the lady said you strong.
I said, you know me? She said, yeah, you going dad.
She said, I watch you from Afar. She said you

(18:48):
got hell of strength. And I told her, I said
it ain't me. Man like black Eye, keep it real
with sometimes broad wake up at six fifteen in the morning,
I look at the clock, Man at twelve or nineteen.

Speaker 4 (18:59):
I ain't left out the bedroom, bro. Like days be
fucked up, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (19:05):
So at the end of the day, I feel Corn presence,
you know what I'm saying, Like I feel him saying, Damn,
I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. But I'm here,
you know what I'm saying. And I can't get it

(19:25):
right every time, Bro, But at the end of the day,
as long as I do what's right in my eyes,
and I take time to listen to what Corn would
say or what God would have me to do, that's
all I can do, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Like I know.

Speaker 5 (19:45):
Here around Prime example, somebody gave me, you know them
little glass things with the people, you know, like your
loved ones. On with the little base with the light
on it. Land night, I was laying down, the lights blinked.
So when they blinked, I was laying in the and
it came on.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
I looked. I said, damn, Corn.

Speaker 4 (20:09):
So I lay down for a little while. So I said,
I fin to go to bed.

Speaker 5 (20:12):
About one o'clock in the morning, I cut the light
off on the thing.

Speaker 4 (20:19):
I woke up the morning about seven o'clock. Brother, light,
we're back on again.

Speaker 1 (20:23):
What it is?

Speaker 5 (20:24):
And I just know that be Corn, you feel what
I'm saying, Like he haven't come to see me, you know,
since he transitioned. I saw him, but we didn't get
to talk. And when I woke up, I'm like, damn,
why I wake up. But then when I was helping
one of my partners to the car in the dream,

(20:44):
and when I googled it, it said, if you see
a loved one and y'all don't get a chance to communicate,
and you with somebody else, he's waiting to have your
undivided attention.

Speaker 4 (20:58):
So I take it for what it's worth.

Speaker 5 (20:59):
Like I ride my bike five days a week, I
walked five days a week, I see all kind of
cardinals flying by. You know what I'm saying, And I
know that's corn. You know what I'm saying, Like the
pain will never go away. Hell, even even when I'm
think I'm doing better. That ship don't get it.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Can be, Nigga, it can be. It's simply I don't
even put everything on around you. I wouldn't give a
fuck what it is. You could ride down the street
and see anything. This ship is crazy. You can smell
some ship and remember where you smelled at when you
were with Heim.

Speaker 5 (21:38):
I got a corn only daughter stays in Lakeland, Florida,
and she was doing a recital.

Speaker 4 (21:46):
So I was excited to fly in and surprised at
the recital. Right, So I'm excited to go get dropped
off at the airport. When I get to my gate,
she tore me up. Bro, it's done on me. How
much time we used to travel together. You know, we
get to the gate, how we moved.

Speaker 5 (22:08):
Yeah, see, I'm now our early coin tutes get you know,
like like I'm sitting on playing what Nigga, I'm nervous,
you know, like he come on like i'm't gonna make it,
and like I would always sit like if it's eight
rows in first class, I might get on the eighth row.

(22:29):
Make sure he on the second row, and I'm gonna
sit on this side so I can always look at.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
Him because you know, first thing, he to pull his
hood over there.

Speaker 5 (22:35):
They going to sleep, and I got to get him
up when they say raised your chair, backs up.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
And all that.

Speaker 5 (22:40):
So as you sitting in there, I put you just
playing that over and over again. She just fucked me up.

Speaker 4 (22:44):
Man.

Speaker 5 (22:45):
I'm talking about like memories like at my house, at
my mama house, you know, like he just everywhere.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Bro.

Speaker 5 (22:53):
Like sometime I'd be like, damn man, nigga, sit in there,
chance to chop it up with me? You know, come
just lay cross to bed, you know, like you just
be like. But it be like, man, I guess it be.
I told Goots this one day. I said, Man, you
know all them meetings and stuff. We used to have
a corn house and you know, buy Chick fil A,

(23:13):
coming in and chop it up. And he be in
the booth. I come in here, be in the booth.
He stopped pop. I'll be out in a minute. You
know what I'm saying. I like when the nigga hugged me,
kiss me on my neck. You know what I'm saying,
Like all that shit you take for granted, man, because
you just realize, you know, I got time gonna happen again,
you know, just to see that, nigga. They ain't come
up in the phone, man, or you know, sometimes be

(23:35):
so fucked up at night.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
Right, just go back and read old text messages. You
know what I'm saying, Papa, I ain't want nothing. I
want to tell you.

Speaker 5 (23:40):
I love you, I appreciate you. You know shit, you
just wish you. I'm gonna tell you what you did.
I started to steal it, but I ain't take it
from you.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
I respect you got it.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
You got it. When I bed going, I was gonna
dry at her. I said, some shit you got leaving.

Speaker 5 (23:59):
It was so the first time I had ever seen it,
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
I got to solute you for that. I had never
seen that. I had never seen that one before.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Always drive me around, ride real shit.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
That was all I fucked with that for real.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
No man, just man, we gotta switch give man dot
switch gives.

Speaker 6 (24:30):
So I know, yeah, for sure. So I know that
like a lot of times, like when you're dealing with
rappers and people that are in the industry sometimes, like
the streets in the industry have a.

Speaker 4 (24:43):
Tendency to mix.

Speaker 6 (24:45):
And then a while back, you had a situation where
there was a shooting at your barber shop. So at
that point, did that ever kind of make you want
to go to coin and just be like, man, fuck,
did shit, We're not finna, We're not finna keep doing
this like this ain't what we're in it for. So
just we gotta figure something else out, or maybe like

(25:07):
go a different direction, or did.

Speaker 8 (25:09):
You feel like, like Black said, was that the fuel
to make you want to go harder to show these
niggas like, hey, this ain't what we do and we're
gonna overcome.

Speaker 5 (25:20):
This great question when I okay, it was two separate incidents, okay,
and I know people getting misconstrued.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
Barbershop got shot up and then I got shot at
the barbershop apart.

Speaker 5 (25:36):
Yeah, got your months apart, So keep in mind, But
you know, I'm at the barber shop.

Speaker 4 (25:42):
That's what I do.

Speaker 5 (25:43):
I've been there twenty six years. Bro appeal in the community.
Ain't never had no issue, never had no problems at
the barbershop exactly, And at this time cool and see
a cool one to me, I don't see him as
rich homing.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Yeah, this is just my son.

Speaker 5 (26:01):
So when the shot gets shot up to be earnest,
I don't know where the fuck it come from, right,
But I ain't Joe blow dumb. I'm like, hey, man,
you got something going on on, know about and we
talked and when I got shot and I got to

(26:21):
the bottom of it, I wasn't really fueled by Yeah.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
You know my mind. First of all, I always.

Speaker 5 (26:30):
Looked at situations like this here, man, I can't act
off a cord. I have to look at if I
go out here and do something crazy, do something dumb, bruh.
It don't only affect me. Yes, yes, shit like a computer. Man,
if I get a virus, a lot of shit shut down.
But so so at the end of the day, like,

(26:51):
did it fuel me? No, Because I stayed in the
hospital seventy two days, black seventy two, I felt like
great with Milk and his shy car. But I kidded,
I got nigga. I got hit more than seventys But
I get it. But I'm gonna tell you what message
I got out of it. Yeah, I had a house

(27:13):
in Stone Mountain. I was raised on Grisham Road. I
used to ride past Gresham every day to go to
Stone Mountain. The lady that raised me, my grandmother, who
I look at as my mother, she stayed on Gresham
Road no matter how tired I was or what I

(27:35):
had going on. Long as I was helping Mama financially,
I felt like I was doing my part. But when
I was in that hospital, I lost her. She passed
while I was in the hospital, and I know she
worried herself to death. So I looked at it like,
you know what did God? We're shoing you man, what

(27:55):
you think important and important? You know what I'm saying.
And that same house that I ride, that I rode by,
I literally stay in that house now. So no matter
what happened, I always think from a mature place.

Speaker 4 (28:14):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (28:15):
Like my thing is, I can't let nobody play me
out my position. Man, You feel what I'm saying, because
because at the end of the day, like if I
go tat for Tator, you know, play the game that
be played, I'm playing myself in the end, man, even
if I don't do it, even if I she gonna

(28:38):
spin back to me.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Man.

Speaker 5 (28:39):
You feel what I'm saying. And at the end of
the day, man, like I understand, I understand life. Man,
I understand what comes with it. And I used to
tear a coin like this shit come with the territory, man.
So you know, I can't sit up here and we
can't just take the glory out of it. Like my
past used to say, y'all see my glory, but you

(29:00):
don't know my story. It's a lot come with it.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
Man.

Speaker 4 (29:03):
You feel what I'm saying. Look at you, Look at
your transition.

Speaker 5 (29:06):
Man, nigga, the bulls are probably big on your back
now that when you was in the streets. You know
what I'm saying, and you'll have to realize. Mike Tyson
said something that I live by.

Speaker 4 (29:15):
Man.

Speaker 5 (29:16):
Mike say this shit years ago. He said, just as
hard as I work to do right, the DEVI would
work twice, it's hard to get me to do wrong.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Man.

Speaker 5 (29:22):
And guess what I put that in my life. So
when I'm trying to go to straight and narrow path,
I know what opposition come fact. And the crazy part
about a lot of time, be the motherfucker closest to you, bro.
You feel so like we were speaking on like now bro,
Like if I can leave without corn Bro, and leave
without my mom and my dad and my brother bro,

(29:45):
nothing else matter, man, whether it's a woman, whether it's
a relationship, whether it's a business deal. Hey bro, listen,
long as I wake up the next ya got a chance, man.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
That's what I was speaking on. And I asked you
about strength like it be. You be going through it
mentally big and your heart be broken and ship, but
you really be getting stressed.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
You get stressed because you.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
Know, I know, like the worst thing has happened and
I'm living. Hey man, I'm built the last And guess what,
that's how that shit goes. Even though I hurt every day,
I cry every day. I think about this ship every day,
but I'm still shame there, still living, still helped it.
So hey man, bitch, nigga, y'all get the fuck you

(30:31):
come and go.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
Believe that I don't.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Care because I see I can survive without you, without you.
I survived without part of my heart.

Speaker 5 (30:39):
You believe that nigga got a void that will never
be filled again. So so at the end of the day,
that that's how I look at it, Like he said, Nigga,
I have some day. Bro, I'm so weak, I can't
talk myself. But get what fail? You ain't an option
where I come from, I don't. I don't have an
option to fail.

Speaker 4 (30:53):
Man.

Speaker 5 (30:53):
You follow me, so I know at the end of
the day, ay boy, moan grown cluse. Yeah, but get
what one thing I would talk? What this shit called
life ain't gonna stop cause of what you're going through.
My granddaddy alwayd taught me it's okay to pause, but
you can't stop. So so I keep my pauses to
a minimum. Man, I'll guess what. Everybody love rich home.

(31:15):
But yeah, we're coming up on a year bruh. Next
month gonna be a year coin being gone. Get what, man,
life go home bruh. And I get it. And I
know my son mentality. He gonna come out of there
the cemetery, he gonna fuck with me, he gonna miss me,
he gonna go get attacked too or something.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
Forget what.

Speaker 5 (31:29):
He gonna still get to his bag. Man. And that's
the mindset I have to have too, man. Like you said,
with more responsibilities, man, And when you're trying to do right,
man like, more haters come with it. I may be
undeveloped more opposition since he passed. Forget what it don't
stop my mission. Man, I know what I got to do.

Speaker 4 (31:50):
I know I got grand kids. Man, you understand.

Speaker 5 (31:52):
I know I got other kids, man, Like I tell
my other kids like, Man, look y'all, y'all, I need
y'all to understand the man.

Speaker 4 (31:58):
I might be a little bit.

Speaker 5 (31:59):
More tight grip now, brof this new terror toys. But
if I call you man, I ain't trying to get
in your business. I do to make sure you're okay. Man,
You know what I'm saying. Coryn told me a long time.

Speaker 4 (32:08):
Hey, Dad, you let do get away way more and
you let me get away with me.

Speaker 5 (32:11):
But I told him I was learning this like like
I was learning with you.

Speaker 4 (32:16):
You know like that, I know like like sometimes I
might have been.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Too too strong on you.

Speaker 4 (32:21):
So I kind of easing up for a little bit.
You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (32:24):
So so like like man, you know, like, but but
one thing I'm I'm grateful for. Man, when I sit
down and I think about it, bro we got a
lot of memories. You know, we travel. You know, I
got to travel the world with my son. Man, you
know what I'm saying. Like, we had some good times. Man,
We went to fights. We We've been to Mexico a
couple of times.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (32:43):
So when you sit back and look at it, you
know thing my past used to always say, instead of
focusing on what God took away from you, focus on
what he gave you when he gave you that person.

Speaker 1 (32:54):
Man.

Speaker 5 (32:55):
The memory, the love, the respect, the honor that we
have each other.

Speaker 4 (32:59):
Man, Like that keeps.

Speaker 5 (33:01):
Me going too. Man, You feel what I'm saying, because
I know, like our shit was different.

Speaker 8 (33:06):
Man.

Speaker 5 (33:06):
You know, were we global to a certain degree? Did
we make three four hundred million dollar guess what?

Speaker 4 (33:14):
Black? Where I come from? We wonon bro?

Speaker 1 (33:17):
We want come from?

Speaker 4 (33:21):
Like we won where I come from? Bro. Like So,
so I don't care what nobody's saying. You know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (33:27):
And I used to tell Coin all the time, and
I gave Miss Flowers. I used to tell him, Hey,
I'm gonna tell you something. What I used to say,
thank you, man, thank you for your talent. Because of
your talent, I met people I would have never met.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
Bro.

Speaker 5 (33:40):
I was able to go places I probably would have
dreamed of. Probably wouldn't have never went. And I used
to tell him I appreciate that, man. So it's like
losing him death is inevitable for all of us, man exactly.
But some of the things that personally I've been afforded, Man,
I feel wild be greatful to my son man and

(34:02):
God for blessing him with that talent. Man, And like, wow, man,
hey bro, like we won man, Nigga say we fell
off for whatever? Hey bro, listen, man, why come from man?
Getting up being at a barber shop at seven o'clock
in the morning, eight o'clock at night, hoping to make
four to five hundred?

Speaker 4 (34:21):
How cuts were like they.

Speaker 5 (34:22):
Were now, broy we were trying ten dollars, eight dollars.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
You feel what I'm saying, y'all used to be.

Speaker 4 (34:28):
Hoping to have two hundred for twelve o'clock. That's a
good day for I have it like that, Black. I
couldn't take appointment. Niggas first come first whatever?

Speaker 1 (34:40):
Hear this?

Speaker 4 (34:40):
Who get it?

Speaker 1 (34:41):
You feel what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (34:43):
To the next before? Yeah, like like where I come from.
But it's totally different, man. So like in my eye, man,
we wonon bro. Like in society, y'all entirer th that, bro?

Speaker 1 (34:57):
Do you think like like grief playing part your relationship
like with your with your old lady or whatever.

Speaker 4 (35:05):
Most most definitely broke or like.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
I'm a loner.

Speaker 4 (35:12):
And then not only them sometime, bro, Like sometimes I
won't be bought.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
Sometimes this needs my space, like like like like dealing
with with this depth, like I don't know how to
deal with it. Yeah, I see a therapist, but but
she can't stop the hurt. She can't stop the pain.
That's my time to dump. You feel what I'm saying
to get this ship up off me. But sometimes I

(35:39):
be feeling like, hey man, check yourself, break attitude fucked up?

Speaker 4 (35:42):
You know what I'm saying. I know it be fucked up, bro,
because I be bitter.

Speaker 5 (35:46):
You don't think sometimes I say out all these sliming
niggas in the street while my son, You know what
I'm saying, this nigga do this, this nigga do that,
But then my son gone, you know what I'm saying?
Or when I or like when I had them grain
kids over there, man and they in the bed sleeping
them up. You don't think I look at them kids
and be like, damn they daddy, go, man, you don't

(36:07):
think my heart hurt thinking about they Daddy? I got
one royal man spinning image of Coin?

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Man?

Speaker 5 (36:16):
Is that spinning image of man I'm talking about looking
at him jenlight raising corn all over again? And you
see the hurting that kid man? When you saw Coin,
you saw him. He grew up in the house with him.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
Brother.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
So I get caught up in the things like that.

Speaker 5 (36:33):
But then I come back to rail and say, hey, man, listen,
heavy is the head to wear the crown.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (36:40):
You know what you got to do? So do I
ain't never been wanting to make excuse you. Man, you
feel me. I don't make no excuse.

Speaker 7 (36:46):
Man.

Speaker 5 (36:46):
I say life like playing cards. I don't play nothing
or whatever hand. I gotta make the best of it. Brother,
I can't throw it in. I got to try to
spread or get lower as I can give me a
better hand. So that's how I look at life. And like,
like I said, Man, with the things that I've been facing,
like man, I got an attitude. Brother, I never thought

(37:07):
I have, man, and sometimes be like fuck it.

Speaker 8 (37:10):
So let me so let me ask you this.

Speaker 6 (37:12):
With that being said, what are your thoughts on when
people say you're never supposed to question God.

Speaker 5 (37:22):
I try to live by the Bible, and there are
times why I want to question him. But once again,
death is inevitentle for all of us man. And at
the end of the day, mister Crawford, I could have
with for years. You just tell me all the time, son,
the only way you don't leave here, you don't come.

(37:43):
But just as sure as you come here, you going
away from him. We all got that appointed time. Do
I want to question God?

Speaker 8 (37:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (37:50):
Do Sometimes I have questions. I didn't tell you no
line say I have.

Speaker 5 (37:56):
Disrespectful but but at the end of the day, like
sometimes I just be right.

Speaker 4 (38:01):
How much more am I to endure?

Speaker 1 (38:04):
I think that Bible scam you.

Speaker 4 (38:07):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
They tell you everything just to make you feel like,
don't question God. I mean, don't don't question God. Don't
question the Bible. That because nigga, we always gonna have questions.
So if you tell you don't don't question God, that
means whatever you don't understand, whatever don't seem right, nigga,
just go for it because I said it. Because it's rope. Yeah,
exactly who heard God say? This ship?

Speaker 8 (38:31):
Though?

Speaker 1 (38:31):
Is what I want like I believe in God, wholehearted
without God and when none of us be here. But
I'm not finna believe in no book. It's a lot
of shipping them up for that resonates, and wein't gonna
start this.

Speaker 6 (38:41):
I always say, transcribed and translations a great story.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
I can tell a great story, like sitting here, he
told great stories about his son that resonate to make
us feel it, right, like yeah here, yeah, bro, Like
come on, I got stories that the same ship with Dave,
so like yeah, but I can't say that's the Bible.
Your story happened in his life that resonates with minds
Why this can't be the same type ship.

Speaker 5 (39:08):
But go ahead, man, But I mean answer your course
and yeah, man, like I'm human, I definitely question them.

Speaker 4 (39:14):
You know.

Speaker 5 (39:14):
It's a lot of yeah because because guess what, it's
the most controversial book in the world, because everybody perceives
it different, you know what I'm saying. So I think
I think, like, yeah, I go to church, man, I
have a relationship with God. But I just try to
focus on what I can do, man, And and you know,

(39:35):
like get what benefit me?

Speaker 4 (39:36):
Man?

Speaker 5 (39:36):
You know what I'm saying, Like like I have come
say that, and I don't want to be judgmental when
it comes to your beliefs, your beliefs, your beliefs, and
I believe my belief Guess what we got to see.
That's what I'm gonna respect your belief respect mine. And
you can be like man that nigga stupid fun. But
that's just respect my belief. I'm gonna respect yours and

(39:59):
like that.

Speaker 4 (39:59):
That that that's just how I try, you know, to
live my life.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Man, I just me personally. How I live my life
personally is I can't believe nothing. I don't fully understand
just who I am as a person. If you can't
break it down to me, make it make sense that
I can't it can't make sense.

Speaker 4 (40:16):
That's just like.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
I can't if it don't make sense. Man, I think
you're right.

Speaker 8 (40:21):
Man.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
For me, it's always like you said, I respect. When
you get to go in around the world, Buddhists, Muslims
and all this other stuff, it's still the same feeling
you feel like, Okay, this person believe in a higher power.
I'm not religious at all, none of them right, But
like he said, everybody gonna find their own path. I
just hope that you find your path.

Speaker 4 (40:42):
That's all. That's it.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
That's but the main ship that they try to dump.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
On us, you can't. It can't get dumped on it.
It can't get dumped on you unless you're allowed to
be dump But if you.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Don't know as a kid, you don't know you raised
this way, people raised this way, So that's the way
you stay because you don't want to question your parents,
your grandparents and folks see the same way you don't.

Speaker 6 (41:02):
It's like the same way you don't. Because a lot
of people view their parents and their preachers and all
that kind of ship the same way that they're taught
to view God. So the same way that you don't
want to question them is the same way that you
like feel kind of like afraid to question God. But
it's just like at the end of the day, like

(41:24):
you said, if it's something that you don't understand as
a human being, you are do some sort of understanding.
If this is something that you're being told that you're
supposed to live by.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
Or or or my personal no middle man to me
or middle person to die. If I want to talk
to God.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
I respect that. That's what I know. That's the one.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
I read all these books, right because they're cool books.
But I'm not religiously binded to know what man.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
No man like I'm telling you manship regular bank, because
that ain't how I talk. He he know how to
talk on the record. So if I get down and
there on my knees and start trying to speak in tongues,
what you fake? I can't even see this from you.

Speaker 5 (42:14):
Because this is not even your bank, and you know
what it's you know, like when you look at it, now,
what what you just said?

Speaker 4 (42:23):
Screen?

Speaker 5 (42:23):
Like you got to have your own personal relationship because
like I ain't throwing nothing out there, bro, but church
so commercialized. Yeah, you feel like it's like everything is
about a dollar.

Speaker 6 (42:40):
Where the pastor nigga shut the doors and locked the
door until the plates were filled up.

Speaker 5 (42:46):
Like no security can hold me down locking a dope,
hey man, let me up out of him. Ain't in
the right place exactly.

Speaker 6 (42:56):
And it's like going back to what you said about
the middleman and all that ship, like.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
What like with what we do.

Speaker 6 (43:04):
The only middle people that we have our ancestors, and
these are people that know us personally, that know what
we're trying to say, and that know like even if
we're not saying it the right way, they know how
to get it to him because they're right up there,
like with him, you get what I'm saying. So that's
like maybe that might be a whole other conversation, but like, yeah,
it's just it's it's a lot of it's a lot

(43:26):
of trickery.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Like just because we got him here, do you think
Corn up that with God right now? Tell the God
Man makes sure my PAP's good. Yeah, bugging man, get
the nigga some screen man pop got salt to day
on it, man, get him right for sure.

Speaker 4 (43:48):
You know what I'm saying. I feel it. I feel it.

Speaker 5 (43:50):
You know what I'm saying. I feel like the day bro,
and I be like down, something gonna happen to brighten
me up a little bit.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
You know what?

Speaker 4 (43:59):
What weather?

Speaker 5 (44:00):
It's my grandbaby calling me, like I got my grandbaby
a Lakeland because she get mad when I say Orlando.
She'll call me like why you doing. I'll be like,
I'm good, how you I'm good? So what you do today?
And when I hear her voice, I see her brother.
She looks like Corn br So it's like when I
see them kids, I see him all over there, like

(44:24):
even even their man of realsm. Bro, you know what
I'm saying, Like their man of realsm, the way they move,
and I just be like, you know, Lord, I thank
you for me just being able to see this. I
don't know when my time up, man, you know what
I'm saying. But like back to that Grease ship, bro. Listen, man,
when it hit it hit. Bro, I'm talking about like

(44:46):
I get to the point, man, well not get in
the car and go ride, man, And she mind a
little different, bro, because like you know, I don't.

Speaker 4 (44:54):
Beard my brothers, my aunts, my grandmama, my granddad. You
deal with it.

Speaker 5 (45:01):
You go to cemetery, you see him. But bray ever
being god damn sitting so over man and look at
your phone. Niggas seen some shit where they playing coin
at a stadium somewhere, you feel me, Or you just
ride and you hear a song come on the radio,
or you know, you just playing songs and you got
a playlist, and now he go, and when you hear him,

(45:24):
you like you start seeing a nigga smile, You start
seeing how nice he look and you just be like
Brud just saying like he just left so soon, brother,
or too soon? Like like you know I done heard
gone too soon all my days, maw when I lost
my son in reality to sit in that shit hit

(45:44):
different now, man, gone too soon? Going out to the
cemetery in the mausoleum. Man, when I touch his space,
shit move a little bit. I had mindset. Well, I
just want to rip that shit down, man. Man, Come on, man,
come on, get on man, like oh I JB want

(46:05):
her to say pop, man, let go. You know what
I'm saying, so so them the time, like when I'm
by myself. Man, you feel me like I tell people
all the time. Bro, I should tell Coin this man,
the decisions you make don't only affect you.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
Man. And to see that I'm sitting there, bro.

Speaker 5 (46:25):
I don't wish this shit on't nobody because it's one
of them cliches. Well, when you laugh, the world laugh
with you.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
But when you cry, you cry alone. You know how
many at nights I crying?

Speaker 5 (46:38):
Quick story, man, I told you I lost Meat eighteen
months before I lost Coin.

Speaker 8 (46:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:44):
I used to sit and look at my mama sometime
and see the hurt in the pain.

Speaker 5 (46:49):
On all right, you're behind me, cause that was her baby, boy, yeah,
and I would be like, I wonder how my mama
really feel losing something you bought in this world. And
then eighteen months later I got that feeling, bro, I

(47:10):
got that feeling. I don't have to wonder no more, man,
I don't have to wonder no more.

Speaker 4 (47:15):
Man.

Speaker 5 (47:16):
And it's like, man, Nigga sacrifice so much for his kids, man,
and then you start thinking like, damn, brother, I do
all I could do? Or will this pain ever stop?
I don't care where I go, I don't care what
I try to do. I remember on one died in September.

(47:39):
I went to Tuloom, Mexico, first of November, gonna get away, man,
go clear my mind, look at me some water.

Speaker 4 (47:48):
I was just in a different location. Caught it right.

Speaker 5 (47:56):
It ain't going nowhere never, man, never, Like like I'll
be telling people, man, I'm trying to adapt to my
new norm. You know, when you talk to a kid
ten eleven times a day, man, you know what I'm saying,
parp sometime by nothing, by bout nothing, just just just
what you're doing. Like I hate got to the point

(48:18):
where sometimes Coryn went out some a car because it
be business, business business, So I got to the point
where I called be like Pop, what you I don't
need nothing, so I just call tell you I love you. Man,
I'm just checking on you. How you doing so, so
we'd start building that report. Cause sometimes, bro, you get
so programmed into the business you forget to like just

(48:39):
you know, like be normal.

Speaker 4 (48:40):
Man. It's okay a person, Yeah, be a dad.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
You know.

Speaker 5 (48:44):
They don't have to be about work or business or
money or like what you need to do or what
you got to do all the time. Like like I
got some texts on my phone where I text and
one day I had went on to the house, got
there about one o'clock, my grandkids came home. We was
outside shooting basketball, and I shot a text like, man,
I really enjoyed, you know, coming over there, just kicking it,
you know, with you and Royal and he hit me

(49:05):
back somebody all that, Like, Pop, I.

Speaker 4 (49:06):
Was sleeping when out fin the text. You the same thing.

Speaker 5 (49:09):
So sometimes we get so caught up into hustling, working
and paying the bills. Nigga, forget to live, man, feel me,
you got to live in the process of allady And
that's just where my life at now.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
Man.

Speaker 5 (49:20):
Were Like like I said, if I want to do
something like it, I'm doing it because guess what losing
him showed me. Man, the shit you be thinking you
got time to do, You don't have time to do it. Man,
You don't have time doing. If you love somebody, man,
let him know.

Speaker 1 (49:35):
Man.

Speaker 4 (49:36):
And and I share this on podcasts too.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
Man.

Speaker 4 (49:40):
If you got anybody around you, man, and you feel
like them folks going through something, man, extend your hand.

Speaker 8 (49:46):
Man.

Speaker 4 (49:47):
Hey, brother, you don't want to talk to me, go
talk to somebody because I see that shit on you. Man.

Speaker 5 (49:51):
You feel me talked one of my partner that a
couple of months ago came back here to holler leve it.
Man said, you ain't looking right, man. I said, bray,
look rough, it's hell man, you canna find it. He
been going through some shit man. He was like, Bro,
I appreciate you pointing that out to me, though you
feel what I'm saying. And I'm like, bro, I'm here.
You feel me so like anytime, man, because like mental

(50:15):
depression amongst black men is at all time high, bro,
just like I said when Coin passed, man, like when
I was raised.

Speaker 4 (50:23):
Bro, if you cry, you weaker, you soft?

Speaker 5 (50:26):
Od I got man, I realized crying is a sound
of pain, man, And it's okay, brother, get that ship out,
cleansing it just like.

Speaker 4 (50:33):
It cleans you.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Man.

Speaker 5 (50:34):
Guess what, every time I shared a till for the home,
I think about something we did and I and I
and I get in my mold once I get myself
bare right, and I feel better, man, because I got
something out of me.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Man.

Speaker 5 (50:46):
That shit lead the ulcers like heart problem, like stress, stress,
nigga be carrying shit, bro be carving shit.

Speaker 4 (50:53):
I get what it be.

Speaker 5 (50:54):
So much pressure on a black man. Broh, you know
you you you, You gotta fa family, you got kids,
you got old lady, you got a job. People don't
know what you go through because where you Superman in
their eyes. But at some point, man, Superman gotta get it.
Krypto nite. You feel me, So you gotta find out
what your Kryptoite is. Man, And it's still that ship

(51:15):
in you and I done learned saying coin gone me
just being doing me.

Speaker 4 (51:19):
Man, you feel give a fuck who don't like what
you say?

Speaker 5 (51:23):
That's fine because all of the year, bro, Like, I've
been caring a lot of shit, man, and it's time
me to take some of that off man and do
what makes me happen.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
And I always hear my son saying, pop make you happy? Man,
Now what I'm own?

Speaker 8 (51:38):
Bro?

Speaker 1 (51:38):
Hey, who would you say? Like was like from the industry,
like the biggest support, like for the.

Speaker 5 (51:44):
Family through the transition period, keeping it shit all the
way book Fly.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Oh yeah, you know that for sure outside fly out.

Speaker 5 (51:54):
But see like me and Fly had differences. But he's though,
but but but like but like as far as industry,
and I'm gonna tell you that man. But he pulled
up on me, man Pete. Pete called me quite naturally
and gave his condolence. He was in Miami, and he
a couple of days later he calm, like, wait yet,

(52:15):
I said, Mama, he said, drop me that dreat. Nigga
pulled up stayed over me two three hours. Let me know, bro,
if you need anything, I'm him man, you know, like
whatever you need, I'm like, bro, I'm good. But but
but he pulled up and kicked with me for like
two three hours and was like, you know, I hadn't
planned to come hire man, but you know, out of respect, bro,

(52:38):
I fucked with you and he came here like two
three hours.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Man.

Speaker 4 (52:41):
Yeah, yeah, that that that he did.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
Man, So y'all, y'all.

Speaker 5 (52:47):
We got what's gonna happen is we're working on another project.
T I G working on the Greatest Hits project.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (52:57):
So so so they're closer with their completion and we are.
So I had to talk with Fly. I said, Man,
go ahead and drop yours and we'll come behind. So
the Greatest Hit music. Yeah, we're putting out new musicals.
We'll probably come in like November, and we're scheduling trying
to saddle up and drop the Greatest Hits on Corn's birthday.

Speaker 4 (53:16):
Yeah. Yeah, so so that that's the next project.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
Man, what's the biggest things you want to see for
his legacy?

Speaker 3 (53:21):
To keep his legacy going, maybe to tell the story
on a book, a movie, a documentary.

Speaker 4 (53:26):
What's the biggest things you want to see?

Speaker 1 (53:29):
You know what?

Speaker 5 (53:29):
Scream? I'm so old school man. I think about it,
but I try to get so tied up into that personally,
that just like how people do stuff yearly, you know,
to commemorate, which I know that's what the fans will want,
and I know that's what society will want.

Speaker 4 (53:48):
So really, man, Money Tea and Dred them have to
stay in my ear with that, man, because I'd be so.

Speaker 5 (53:54):
Out of the loop or I be still like fucked
up grieving, you know what I'm saying, not saying that
they don't, but I understand, you know, like I'm fifty five, bro,
I can't relate to you know, what's going on today.
So when it comes to things like that, like they'll
you know, bring it to me and we sit down
and chop it up and make them decisions together. But

(54:17):
but but we do have a documentary that it's gonna
take a little time to fine tune it, you know
what I'm saying. But I think documentary, man, and my thing. Man,
if I could see anything that I would want pertaining
the coin, I'm so big on giving back man, you know,

(54:39):
like having monety to call McNew hey, man, let's see,
like let's get together.

Speaker 4 (54:44):
On scholarship in his honor. I'm on stuff like that.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (54:48):
We can go out here and have the cookouts and
the barbecues and you know, do all that, but you know, like, man,
you want to make an impact. Man, shit, I want
to take a bag to the school and you know,
these kids that might have a vision to be producer,
an engineer, he go a bag like Corn play baseball.

Speaker 4 (55:04):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (55:04):
We want to drop some money out for the sports department,
you know, like if I see a bounder that say
the Quantus Lamar, or if I see a plaque you know,
saying that in honor of him. That's what I'm on, man,
More so like giving back and impacting people lives, because
Corn impacted a lot of people lives. You know what
I'm saying. We're in the process now of putting together

(55:26):
a situation for his birthday.

Speaker 4 (55:28):
You know what I'm saying. I didn't want to really
get around the death date just so much because at the.

Speaker 5 (55:34):
End of the day, man, like this first death day,
I don't know where I'll be it mentally, you know
what I'm saying, And I might not be in no
position where I want to deal with a lot of people. Bro, Like,
I don't want to pull up with a fuck up
out of studs, you know what I'm saying. So I
feel like, let's like, let's come, let's celebrate the birthday.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
Man.

Speaker 4 (55:51):
You feel what I'm saying, The day that God gave
him to us.

Speaker 5 (55:55):
You know what I'm saying, and who knows, later on
we may get together and say, well, man, you know
we want to do some stuff on the day he pad.
But right now sits still so fresh to me.

Speaker 4 (56:03):
Man, you feel.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
What's one thing you would You can say it through prayer, spirit,
But what's one thing you want to say to your
son if you have a final conversation, another conversation and
physical with your son.

Speaker 5 (56:19):
Knowing Corn and the way I raised him, Bro, See
when Corn did sof to disappointment, he was still away
from him for a little while, I would tell him
I forgive you because I know him, and I know

(56:46):
how heavy of a burden he carrying, knowing that we
used to have a saying me and him, we all
we got. And sometimes you know, like I just be like,

(57:07):
damn Coin, you left me, Bro, you left me with
all this to deal with him. Brian envision my son
baring me. I envisioned my son getting older and pulling
up kicking it with me on some grown man ship. Brouh,
You feel me like I want it? I want it too.

(57:36):
I wanted to have some time man while I was older,
and we just kicked it and we talked about what
we did. But the first thing. I was just telling him,
I forgive your son. You know, I miss you and

(57:56):
if it's God's will, I'll see you one day.

Speaker 2 (57:59):
Man.

Speaker 5 (58:00):
But I had some conversations, man, and I don't know
if he be like sometime and like I hear that
nigga talking to me, Bro, I don't know if that
shit be like just me talking in my mind. You're
not like, I just really tell that I forgive you

(58:23):
because I know my son, bro, and I know he.

Speaker 8 (58:28):
I know.

Speaker 4 (58:31):
He was in a dog space and that ain't no excuse.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
Man.

Speaker 5 (58:35):
You feel that ain't no excuse, man. You know, like
and I used to preach that ship to him, bro,
like gotta always think about your kids, man. So basically,
you feel like.

Speaker 1 (58:52):
Even even like him knowing that he was going through
something like or whatever, he know he was knowing at
the end, if he could acknowledge what we're going on,
like I'm disappointing part. Yeah, So that's why you said
you forgive him.

Speaker 5 (59:07):
That's what I'm saying because I know that he took
the conversations we had to heart. And I talked to
coin that day man, the day before he passed. And
when I talked to him that morning, he was so vibrant,
you know. I asked him how you feel. He said,

(59:27):
I'm good.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
Man.

Speaker 5 (59:28):
He said, you're on the bike. I said yeah. I
said you sound good. You sound rested. And later on
that evening when I talked to him, and it's so
crazy when I think about our last conversation. I don't
know what I was doing, but I was in a rush, Man,
and I was like, Corin, I got it. That's easy, man,

(59:48):
I take care of it. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (59:51):
And he just kept on talking. Man kept on talking.
And I said to myself, I said, Man, I got
to tell a coin. Damn, Bro, you ain't let me
the word. And he just kept on talking. And well,
we got off the phone. He said, okay, Pop. We
got off the phone. He called me right back. I said,

(01:00:11):
you're good. He said yeah. I just called tell you
I love you. Man said, I love you too.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Song.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
And I wouldn't have never thought that that would be.

Speaker 5 (01:00:26):
The last conversation that I would have with And it's
like my biggest fear right now. It ain't raising my
grandkids or doing what's right. My biggest feel right now, Bro,

(01:00:47):
is really grieving myself to death.

Speaker 4 (01:00:49):
Man call I hurt so bad that time. Bro, I
don't like, I know, I'm gonna yep right out of
your head. But the ship ain't getting no easier, bro,
fel like I don't see no light at the tunnel man,
you know, like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
I think. I think. I think the process of it
is like you just said what you just said, like
you just said to him, like you forgive them. I
think the process is gonna be. It ain't gonna get easy,
but it's gonna get.

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
Lighter. I think lighter.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
It's gonna become tolerable. Okay, it's gonna become tolerable. And
that's certain ship that you see that make you cry,
gonna start make you smile. You know what I'm saying.
Stup Like look at that nigga. You know what I'm saying.
You're gonna start making you You know what I'm saying,
Like I'm just telling.

Speaker 5 (01:01:49):
You, like how like how you how you dealt with
with with the initial with Dave, how long they've been
going a couple of years.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
And that ship. You know what I'm saying, Like right now,
I had to I have to God damn erase Instagram
for like six months.

Speaker 4 (01:02:07):
I took I took.

Speaker 5 (01:02:08):
I took a break off there because like people be
meaning well, but the shit just be opened up so
many ones like I ain't been on there on them man,
and like make much.

Speaker 4 (01:02:18):
I had to like disconnect from it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
But you gotta you gotta do something like you said earlier.
You gotta do something outside of your normal like I
picked up golf and just go walking. Just ship that
just keep you so bus and so occupied that when
by the time you do, even though you're gonna think
about it here and there, but by the time you do,
it's gonna I don't know, I guess what I'm gonna
tell you what I say when I be crying to myself,

(01:02:42):
I made myself start laughing because I be like I
hear Dave my boy, like you bitching up big. You
know what I'm saying. So I just I say that
to myself like it's him saying it, Like yeah, but ship, bro,
where the fuck you at? Niggas? But you know what
I'm saying, Hew that comes saying it slowly turn into
strength like you said, bro, Like I wouldn't give a fuck,

(01:03:05):
like my kid, like my son's a called me on
the phone right now. I don't never not anyway and
just make the nigga be on old. You know what
I'm saying. But with day, any friend, any relationship, anybody,
I know, I can stand to see them walk away,
you know what I'm saying. If I just stand to
see even with my grandma when she passed away, my

(01:03:27):
daddy when they passed away, it's like you living. You
can keep living even though it's gonna be hard. You
can keep living. Life always been hard.

Speaker 4 (01:03:34):
And you know what's so crazy?

Speaker 5 (01:03:36):
Though you asked me someone earlier and I couldn't really process,
I understand what you was saying. But now doing this podcast,
that was the message for me today. But it's strength
in it. Yeah, it is strength in it. You feel
what I'm saying, Like even in your darkest moments. So

(01:03:58):
like you said, like see war was real emotional man.
You know, like me and dude will have conversations where
he would cry to me, you know what I'm saying,
and I'd be there to come for them and give
him advice and you know, tell them how to navigate
through things. So it's like you said, like throughout the pain,

(01:04:19):
I think the biggest plus is no matter what you're
facing in life, no matter what ad versus is coming
your way. When you look back over the hills and
mountains that you don't travel and you see the ones
in front of you, you know, the same God that
brought you over them gonna bring you two and over these.

(01:04:40):
And like you said, at the end of the day,
this does not kill me, can only make me stronger. Fact,
like you said, And that's that's a great analogy for
me to walk away with today. Even when you feel
weak in the midst of it, some strength, you know
what I'm saying. Like you said, like and what I
try to do, I try to focus on the good

(01:05:02):
times because we had a lot of them.

Speaker 4 (01:05:03):
Brother, you feel what I'm saying. We had a lot
of them, you know what I mean. So it's like
a lot of times you just have to snap out
of it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
Man, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:05:13):
Yeah, yeah, that's right, that's right. And you know that
it ain't impossible. And like you said, even when you
dealing with life or relationship or partnership or whatever, like
you said, my mind said, hey, man, nigga, if I'm
still standing after the losses out on too, man, you
can go on bout your business. Ain't no animosity, ain't

(01:05:33):
no hard feelings. So and see that's another plus plus.

Speaker 4 (01:05:38):
I got out of there.

Speaker 8 (01:05:38):
Man.

Speaker 5 (01:05:39):
You feel what I'm saying. For a lot of time, man,
neigga be like, damn, I'm a partner. Man, I'm a bitch.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (01:05:44):
Such that.

Speaker 5 (01:05:45):
But then when you start focusing on you and what
you can do and that's all you can control, you
just realized, Hey, man, listen, if it's a dane for
you to leave, go ahead, because I like this one.
Here shit and nigga, And here I am months later,
still in my right frame of mind, still ain't lost it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
If I was gonna crack out of cracked in, I
would have been that's real cracked. Then if I was
gonna crack, if it was any crack, any any any
cracks in my foundation out of crumbled, then then that's real.
So if I ain't crumbled, then hey, I'm built the lab.
Bro That what a nigga. Gota just says like I
can handle it. I handled that. I can handle it
like no amount of mine. I can't lose no amount
of money and be cracked under pressure. I can't. Ain't

(01:06:28):
no relationship of friendship Now it's people that's in my
life that I know if something was to happen to them,
it's gonna fuck me up the same way. But what
I'm saying, like far as ship that we take value
in that's not really don't really hold no value as
in relationships and friendships and and and and people other
people emotions and feelings, that ship don't hold no value
to me no more. Fuck, that's how you feel. I'm

(01:06:50):
not an absorbi. Your energy it ain't mine, that's yours.

Speaker 5 (01:06:54):
Guess what certain certain certain losses of damn that have
a nigga heartless man.

Speaker 1 (01:06:58):
Yeah, you you'll keep a little bit.

Speaker 5 (01:07:02):
But the joy of that ship, man, And like man,
it's whatever, man, And that that that's my mindset now
Like like like hey, bro, listen, and I'm gonna tell
you something in coins there a major lesson I learned.

Speaker 7 (01:07:15):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:07:16):
Ship that used to matter, it do ain't matter no more.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
Man.

Speaker 5 (01:07:19):
That that that's just how it some. You know, ship
that I used to put all this emotion and time.

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
Bro, Listen, Man, the same advice you gave him about
your healing, ain't in them bottles. Ain't in them pill bottles.
It ain't in yours ain't in just sitting in the sorrow.

Speaker 4 (01:07:37):
That money money comment, I broke you got out of
house man.

Speaker 1 (01:07:40):
That nigga tell you man, shout out of many used
to call me every week. He probably you know, I
started the phone for everybody. Shut montay what the only
motherfuckers can get.

Speaker 4 (01:07:50):
Through believe that?

Speaker 1 (01:07:51):
He like, Bro, I know you ain't picking up for nobody, man,
But matey what the first person I called back, and
that nigga said some ship that shake your soul, bro,
that nigga that ordained Believe you know what I'm saying,
shout out the money she calling today? Checking on your mother. Brother,
You're good, yeah, here alright nothing.

Speaker 5 (01:08:11):
And that that like like like like like I had
a moment, Bro, I just go dog. But when I
picked that phone or the first thing he's gonna say, brouh, no,
it's on you. But I'm just calling and check on this.
You know I'm here home. You feel me get out
the house. Man, come come to a soft ball game,
you know, like like like he just went on somewhere
out of the road the other day to the slops

(01:08:32):
here like bra shit, just gold man, you know what
I'm saying, Like he always he's selfless when it comes
to others.

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:08:38):
And at the same time he heard two car man
Corn with his little brother. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
I had him on pugg he telling about the women.
Know he went on and of course I'm about to
say today talking about he got there Pete. Then the
one that saw your girl get beat out. Yeah, he
shot at the do that. I said, well, wasn't up

(01:09:03):
with God? He said, I I would have been in Jayson,
shot in the car, shot crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:09:10):
That's my man, bro.

Speaker 5 (01:09:12):
He hold me out and like he was the one
man like before coin past man, he would add it
on me.

Speaker 4 (01:09:19):
Man, go see a therapist.

Speaker 3 (01:09:20):
Bro.

Speaker 5 (01:09:21):
I ain't saying it gonna help you, but hey, man,
go get some of that ship up off, you know
what I'm saying. And I started off seeing a therapist
after Corn passed for grief. Man, that ship transitions into
my childhood at a lot of ship. I've been caring
for years, man, you know. And then you know, like
when you look at it, Bro, like you heard a
lot of people. Brother, it didn't have nothing to do

(01:09:42):
with your struggle.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:09:43):
You feel me so so through you know the therapy, Man,
I just learned how just let a lot of shit go.

Speaker 1 (01:09:49):
Man.

Speaker 4 (01:09:49):
You feel me like a lot of pain, a lot
of anger, a lot of billing.

Speaker 5 (01:09:53):
Like Nigga said, Man the attitude, but man ship because
I'm caring forty years ago.

Speaker 1 (01:09:57):
Man, they're trying to be strong, trying to be like
I'm okay, but that ship just stacking on top of stacks, stacking, stacking,
stack and stacking. That's how Nigga be having them breakdown
now and just spass out.

Speaker 5 (01:10:08):
Feel what I'm saying. See, that's one. That's another good
thing that came out of Corns transition. I was able
to face some of my past realities man, and be like, hey, man,
you know, like and I had to pick up the
phone and call some people.

Speaker 1 (01:10:23):
Man, you know, and niggas don't understand a lot of
them tears be needing to come out. That shit is clean,
like you holding on them tears back being strong. Brother,
when you started releasing that ship. It's like, Bro, I'm
telling you, man, I don't turn to the spirit spiritual
like for some reason, Bro, I told her, I said
that before plenty of time bro, for what we before

(01:10:44):
day passed.

Speaker 7 (01:10:44):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (01:10:45):
It's like every day I wake up for some reason,
I was just crying, like just releasing, just crying. But
then when I went like I said, I wasn't talking
them spiritual and I talked to a theory. They were
just like man, just them tears been in there. Believe
that they just finding their way out this part of transition.
Like I started walking the trails, stopped eating that bullshit.
All that shit just started coming out like slowly. After

(01:11:06):
that shit, I felt the best I ever felt in
my life.

Speaker 4 (01:11:08):
I don't know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:11:09):
Like you said, man, once you started cleaning yourself, like
mentally and physically, you just start, you know, you start
You're cleaning your brain too, man, you know you just
started singing shit different like coin gone. I hurt, But
at the end of the day, man, like I'm grateful
for the relationship I had. I talked to Ricky Smile
and did his part, did his show, and he was

(01:11:30):
telling me about you know, his son died a couple
of yearsfold Corn and he got it. I bought it.
I got his book. He gave me a copy, and
he got a chap in there that says God would
give you double for your trouble. I'm gonna tell you
all this quick story. So he had this girl that
he had knew she had two twins and she had

(01:11:52):
an older daughter. The oldest daughter dad had died, and
she would bring her over to the house so Rick
could talk to him, counselor stuff, cause she was like,
you know, dealing with it. So the little girls will
be able to us.

Speaker 4 (01:12:05):
So much.

Speaker 5 (01:12:06):
Rick started buying the little toys and stuff for them
to play with while you know, he was counseling the
daughter or whatever. And he had done had some situations
with that girl they mama, and he said one day
they came over right before he started counseling. He went
outside just to holler and screen because he was hurting

(01:12:27):
so bad. And he says when he went outside, he
saw them little girls and he couldn't even open his mouth. Man,
So he say he went on with the counseling session,
and the baby mama had been going through some stuff
with the alleged baby daddy, so they went to court.
The babies coming back not his. Come to find out,

(01:12:51):
the babies belonged to Rick damn. And he had two
twins and didn't even know it. That's like God gave
him double for his trouble. You feel what I'm saying,
And he said he had no.

Speaker 4 (01:13:03):
Idea, bro that these kids was his man the lady
then evidently she didn't.

Speaker 5 (01:13:08):
She was with his too.

Speaker 4 (01:13:12):
Probably right now if you look at him page he
rating two twins. Man, that's crazy. After after his after
the loss of his son.

Speaker 5 (01:13:23):
Man, and he kept telling me, like we talked text
all the time and he always say, man, it's a
blessing in it. Just hold on, you know, like like
you never know like what what what it is or
win it's gonna come. But he was like, man, if
God bring you to it, he gonna bring.

Speaker 4 (01:13:44):
You through, Big Fact. And I stand on that man.

Speaker 5 (01:13:49):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (01:13:50):
Man.

Speaker 3 (01:13:50):
We truly appreciate you pulling up man to give us
game gym. You know what I'm saying. To pray for
your strength and you know we're here. You know what
I'm saying. You got all that man for your phone,
so if you need is hit us. We're going to
continue to refrac one and this legacy for sure. Thank
you all for having me.

Speaker 1 (01:14:06):
I don't live at Homie.

Speaker 3 (01:14:07):
Don't live Homie Bigfaxpod dot Com Salute.

Speaker 1 (01:14:10):
Catch the Big Facts Audio Experience on Iheart's black Effect
on Tuesdays, revote on Wednesdays, and revote YouTube channel on Thursdays.

Speaker 4 (01:14:18):
Visit our website now bigfaxpod dot com