October 5, 2024 • 42 mins
We've got another bonus episode for Jono and Ben podcast listeners that we wanted to share with you today! The Hits Drive show host PJ Harding has a brand-new podcast called Slow It Down. The podcast is designed to be a moment of me time for busy lives and a weekly dose of wholesome to inspire a grounded existence. If you like it, follow the show on iHeartRadio or wherever you listen to podcasts.
About the show:
Life is fast. Information is overwhelming. We seem busier and more anxious than ever. Introducing ‘Slow It Down’. A time to chill, wind down and join a space that inspires people to live authentically and slow it down. A hub for living more consciously and incorporating mindful practices and rituals in an achievable way. The aim is to showcase guests who have chosen to live a more balanced lifestyle mixed in with experts who offer tangible tips and tricks to feel a little more zen.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, podcast listeners, it's John a been a Meghan here
right now, a special podcast, a brand new podcast. You're
about to hear the first episode on our podcast feed
and I could man spin it. I could tell you
more about it, but I'm not going.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
To because he doesn't know enough about it. Exactly right.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
We've got the start of the podcast, you know, from
Meddi and PJ in the afternoons on the Hits, it's
pe J harding.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
How you doing?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Heye, thank you guys. Well I think you could come
on Ben, give it your bescuy, Like, what do you
think the podcast is about.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It's about it down, It's about slowing it down.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
It's about you know, life is busy, Peach. It's hard,
you know, and it's nice to take a moment for
yourself and to appreciate the things because it's moving fast
and sometimes you don't you don't know the good old
days until they're gone. I think Cash is saying about
that with Macklamore.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
You absolutely not, No, that's exactly it.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
I'm doing this probably from a selfish perspect of I
feel like life has been particularly busy this year, and
I don't want to be that person who always gives
the copper answer of being busy. So it's literally dedicating
just under an hour every week.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Talking to people on how they slow it down.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
I find peace the chaos and the magic moments from
the mundane and basically reconnecting with what it means to
be human, which, like it all sounds where she was
she talked, But I think more than even we need
this kind of chat. People thrust out life as hers
and I just want to have like a little bit
of a zen kind of retreat vibe for Sunday.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Oh God, that's a great idea for them, and so
people can listen to it right now, right in our
first episode, and then of course you can subscribe to
Slow It Down with PJ Harding on iHeartRadio, where you
get your podcasts. Episodes out every Sunday, Peach.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
That's every Sunday.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
With the Heads podcast Network.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Hello and welcome to Slow It Down. I'm your host,
PJ Harding, and I've started this podcast because, well, pretty selfishly, really,
I feel like life is so busy, even though I
live literally in the middle of nowhere, off.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Grid, surrounded by bosh.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
You'd think that you could just quiet in the noise,
but I still feel stressed. I still feel overwhelmed. I
still feel that pressure of keeping up with what everyone
else is doing. And I want to carve out some
time every week to sit down and have really conscious
conversations with people who are also living busy lives. And
(02:26):
I want to pick their brains and work out how
they find peace and the chaos and what.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Rituals they do to stay sane. It's that simple.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Every week I'll have a new guest and hopefully we
can be inspired together. I don't want this to be
a judgmental zone. I want it to be a placed
you can chill out and listen to over the weekend.
And I am so excited to introduce my first guest
on the show, Zoe Marshall. We actually briefly work together
(02:55):
back in the day when she was working on ZDM
and Auckland. She worked on a show there for a while,
and then we've sort of just kept in touch over
the years, and she's gone.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
On to create some amazing podcasts.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
She created The Deep and then started a subscription called
The Deeper, and the conversations that she has had on
that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's talked to people
will parents that have been given a terminal diagnosis. She's
talked to istics, conscious sex workers, the list goes on.
(03:34):
She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic, and more recently,
she's gone on to create a new platform called Rise,
which helps people create the life they deserve. And it's
all about manifestation, but as it's manifestation a bit better,
and she talks about her through so much more to
it than just at being woo. There's a lot of
(03:55):
science to back up some of this stuff. So I
can't wait to pick her brain this episode. And I
really hope you enjoying my chat with Sally. Oh sorry,
I've been so excited to catch up with you.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
It has been a while. I think the last time
we talked, i'd just.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Given birth and I went through like a step by
step harrowing encounter of what happens.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful
face again and you howl'd the baby he's just gone.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
To Wow, two years since I spoke to you, it's crazy. Yeah,
you were living in the bush.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I am kind pretty much.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Yes, yes, though I work in the nearest town now,
so I actually do a radio show out of the
local rural tarmag is a twenty.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Minute drive look at you all set up?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
First of all, I'll run through what slow It Down
is and kind of the premise of this podcast and
why I thought you'd be a perfect fat So basically,
I think since to the middle of nowhere, you know,
I had this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed
and I'd be grounded. And the reality is, I'm still stressed.
(05:12):
Life still feels chaotic, and I have a beautiful life,
but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful in
front of you. So I want to talk about tips
and tricks and ways to really feel like you can
make the most of the golden years.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I know? I know for sure.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally in a metamorphosis
of wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of like
being an elder on a rocking chair, you know, yep,
(05:55):
but like doing all of that now, like the pace,
the presence, the appreciation now. So I am I'm just
I want to get rid of everything. I want to
get rid of like a lot of my belongings. I
want to downsize everything in my life. I want to
(06:18):
just have my needs met and then be able to.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Do less.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
And I am like it already is happening. And I
think it all started with like I had a quite
quite a scary breast scare in June, and that just
shifts everything. And it's such a shame that human beings
need such a dire situation to wake them up, but
I did. And I just got back from two and
(06:48):
a half weeks in Europe and Dubai and literally just
sitting in the sun eating bread and butter and olive oil.
I was like, this is living. Obviously, it's very different circumstances,
but what if we could bring that level. I like
(07:09):
to call it like the magic in the mundane, like
finding the miracles.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Stop it there.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
It's literally like one of my objectives, well objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane, right.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Yeah, And I find like being in awe of everything
around us. So I think we have just been really
stripped of so much importance because of you know, how
distracted we are, how we've got these kind of really
(07:45):
quick dopamine hits all the time. We're not able to
focus in and slow down and appreciate the things that
we have. I created a whole new business. I got
rid of slowed down one side of my business and
started a new one which is all around this and
it's around manifestation, co creation mindset. But truly, like it
(08:08):
sounds like a riddle, but everything that we want, if
you are living as if you already have that thing,
and you're already feeling the way it would feel to
have the thing, then you already have the feeling you
would have it even if you got it. So it's
kind of like once you get all the stuff right,
(08:30):
Like I went really hard in my career and I
got the accolades, and I got the fancy car, and
I got the fancy house, and I got the fancy things,
and then you're like, oh fuck, I didn't need any
of the fancy things, any of them. Yes, right, but
now shut down all those businesses. Start something that feels
like in true service, which will also keep me accountable
(08:53):
every single day and just be able to meet life
where it's at and be able to practice in real time.
It's it's okay, to become heady about all of this
and get into the education and do the YouTube and
be in the tutorials and join the courses. But unless
you're in complete chaotic insanity and you don't start to
(09:15):
bring the stuff in, there's no point. Like you're just
on the kind of little rat wheel. What do you
call it?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, thats the rat race.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books of my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard. And you're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family member
(09:45):
getting really unwell.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Or you lose your house or whatever.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
When people are really stared with what reality is, that's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I mean to live and.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I can't waste another second.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
And like what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:02):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a crumbling
(10:22):
and you're like, oh my god, I have to change.
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink like I like
all of the things. But really, I guess what I'm
trying to teach my community at a RISE is like,
we don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like,
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
(10:44):
your life, and it will change your life and you
can have these realizations now and not at seventy, you know,
on the rocking chair. I feel like I'm very aligned
with your podcast.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Well, I was looking at some of your videos on
the Rise page today and there was that caught my eye,
and it was so funny because this woman was talking
to you about the importance of starting your day with
something positive and how that will set you up for
a more positive experience.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Not necessarily bring you more.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive things
that happened to you. So I watched that video and
then that second I've got it into practice, right, And
I was like, Okay, okay, you're right, because wake up
in like a stressed mode, right, and I know I
should be more mindful.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
So I was like, Okay, I'm gonna say the mantra,
what if everything.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Just wiked out? What if everything just wicks out? What
if everything just wixs at? And I keep saying that
and then no shits away. I walk outside the house
and there was this rainbow just going over our house,
like it was the perfect rainbow.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
And I was like, I got a chill zoeing that,
and then it just stayed.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
There for our ages and I was like, okay, well,
that in itself is just one of those moments.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
And so there is science behind this, because my program
is backed by neuroscience. There's science behind starting your day
with a declaration, an affirmation, a positive headspace like it.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
It it's not just wore woolshit, No.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
It like impacts your RAS system. Your RA system is
your rearticular activation system. And what that does is we
are consuming so much information all the time as humans.
We are always scanning for information that makes us true
or safe. So if you wake up and you're like
life is hard, things are hard, and nothing works out
(12:31):
for me, your RAP system is figuring out, Like I'm
sure there was something underneath that rainbow, like there was
a traffic jam or there was this, or that was that,
and you were like, okay, but I see the rainbow
in the traffic jem and I see the rainbow.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
And then moment I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these retchalks.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
But it's so easy to get caught back.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Up and that like we as you talk about, and
I know there's so many beautiful things that I miss
out on. So it was it was quite like a
powerful moment where I was like, you cannot afford to
miss all of this beauty and magic, because that's what
it's all about.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the
(13:36):
child is like the school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points for the radio show, like it
just doesn't like maybe eventually you'll lose your job if
you don't keep.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Doing it over and over.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
But I think we start to lose. We are putting
things in a very important category that aren't and we're
putting ourselves and our mental health and our move movement
and our conversations as like something at the bottom of
the barrels too. When I've put the kids to bed
(14:08):
and I lay on the couch and I'm scrolling on
TikTok and watching a show at the same time, like
it just we're responsible, And I don't think that anyone
can like victimize themselves because we all have the ability,
like we really do.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Okay, so give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
I think firstly, this isn't like a quick hit. This
isn't like winning the lotto. This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing where you may keeps of money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,
(14:56):
the celebrities or the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do right, And
that's really hard if you've got kids and you're getting
(15:18):
up at five instead of five thirty, right, but go
to bed earlier and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state, right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say human users.
(15:42):
I want to say it's called like horizon gazing, but
it's when you look out and you're kind of balancing
your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support your sleep.
You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels better for you.
Move and stretch, eat, Like if you do like two
of those six things, you're already setting yourself up right.
(16:04):
So when the kids get up, they're like on, they're
like ready, and you're gonna be a better parent. You're
going to be more patient, You're gonna be able to
listen to them. They're having a tantrum because they want
the blue cup not the red cup. You're like, I
really understand, I get it. Fuck, I really like the
red cup too, But you won't be just like pulling
them out the door. Oh maybe you will, you know.
(16:25):
But I think that starting your day for yourself and
allowing yourself to set intentions rather than the day catch
you up is really important. And then there are a
million other things that we can bring in, Like you
really got to be serious about what you're consuming, how
(16:45):
much water you're drinking. Are you a caffeinated person and
you're relying on stimulants? Are you getting your nourishment in
like where little like organisms we need to be bed
and watered and s And I think it's like looking
at basics, are you moving every day? And then like
how do you see the world and what are you doing?
(17:09):
So co creation, how I teach it isn't wish for
thinking that a ferrari is going to end up at
your doorstep just because you put it on your vision board.
It's like what am I doing today? What actions am
I taking to be magnetic to what I want? And
so like I had a real doozy of a day
(17:31):
on Thursday. It was like our fucking doozy, horrendous jet lag.
I hadn't slept at all, bench had food poisoning. My
nanny was off. One of my favorite favorite teammates within
my business resigned. A lawyer needed a very specific information
(17:54):
from me, my account wanted to have a really hard conversation.
My dog vomited. I couldn't. I couldn't. My daughter was like,
you know, like at me. And so it was a
real moment of like, that doesn't just kick a person
into doing that, kicks you into like safety seeking, behavior
(18:19):
finding security. And I went into my my autopilot, which
is like fix everything now, like blinkers on, don't talk
to me. I'm going to solve all the world's problems
in this moment. And then my husband was like, you're
not okay. I was like, I'm really not okay. Like
a lot is happening, and we have this beautiful session.
(18:43):
We had this workshop within the community that night, which
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently like that way of like tunnel vision,
getting a everything done, fixing it all in one day
and stressing myself out. I've done for forty years, So
(19:04):
what would the other way look like. I saw benj
my husband, downstairs, after this workshop, and I said listen.
I know I was in a wild state when you
saw me. I need you to know that I'm going
to practice something and tomorrow I am not going to
do anything about those things I've already like literally shot off.
(19:29):
I've taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
to simmer and connect. I'm going to go to the beach,
nice beach. I take my daughter to the beach, and
(19:53):
I am physically going to take myself out of where
I want to be with fixing. And it was in
those moments, and that's what I said at the beginning
of this, which was when the shit hits the fan,
what learnings and what practices are you putting into place?
Because we go to the place we feel the safest,
(20:14):
we don't go to the place which we have the
greatest growth. And so I took my own advice and
I went to the beach and I did that stuff,
and then I realized, with a bit of space, you
have a bit of clarity that I was like, oh
my god, this colleague leaving is the best thing for
us and it hurts because I love them, but you
(20:36):
would never have let them go. You would never and
this is holding the business back. What are you going
to do? And so now on Monday morning, I have
three incredible business strategists that are like the whole thing
has just come together because there's been space and I've
done something implemented the growth without kind of that habitual.
(21:00):
You know, I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine.
I wanted to eat heaps of chips, and I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Did you do any of that or did you just
go to the beach?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
I just went to the beach and then I went
for a walk and it was like this is so
fucked being woke, Like how boring. And then on the
weekend I definitely had two glasses of red wine. That's
me being really wild. And I've woken up today no
jet lag and just like I just am excited, like
(21:30):
I did all my practices this morning.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
I'm back.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Yeah, And only it doesn't have to You don't have
to spial for six months, like you can like do
this in a day.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
With manifestations, people often talk about not forcing, not forcing,
not forcing. You took a step back from there, and
you just allowed, and then all of a sudden it
was yeah, in.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Mantra, it was like, let go let God, you know,
trust trust for us. But that's really hard for like
a control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you,
still it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate
from this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different
situations and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and
(22:21):
it's a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But
what you see a success and what I see a
success and the person listening are so vastly different. And
I'm not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else
thinks is successful.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
For me, God, I get so caught up in there,
I really do.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
And I think that I'm bigger than that, or you know,
mature enough to like see past it. But I still
compare myself to so many people, and I'm like, why
the hell am I comparing myself to her? I don't
actually want to be like her, but I'm still comparing myself.
Speaker 5 (22:57):
But if you didn't want what she had, why you
compare exactly?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I don't know, but because there must be an answer.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
There's got to be something I don't know, because I
feel like they've got more success than me, and I
feel like I could be doing that.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
But then I'm like, no, but I don't want to
be doing that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (23:12):
But do you think that their peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
No one, No one's looking at it like that my brain,
or like.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
Are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to live out
in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm still here
doing the rat race thing like Polly's got success. I
don't I want that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses, It's the grass
is always greener mentality. And I want to know do
you have an answer on how to get out of it?
Speaker 5 (23:45):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum think, or I'll drive
a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus I
(24:06):
want to do work that I feel passionate and purposeful,
and I want to be living a life in integrity
and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy shit because our ego
is always running in the background and we want people
to give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make
(24:30):
us seen like it's very human. But that's fine on
like a superficial level when we're talking about like our
life path and our purpose, like get really clear on why.
Because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling the feeling of being the most successful version
(24:50):
of yourself, right, if you're living that feeling, walking as
if you're that person, talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be a t tracting so many opportunities
and people and places and things and serendipitous moments that
meet you there when it's in truth versus ego. And
(25:11):
so it's like you can keep trying to out smart
yourself or you can just like surrender your options.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yes, And when you get into those mindset's this such
roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want, Like
they're just fucking waste of time, waste.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
Of time, And you think you want the push right, yes,
and then you get it and you realize no one
is looking at you in your push, no one gives
a shit about you and your push, like they really don't,
and the people that do, like, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like, really good work, and
I just remember going, as I say, I was like
I find o this river, this is not going to
be this, Like there was such a big part of
me that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment, and
like that was confronting to a lot of people. I
think they were like, why would you step away when
you're in you know, this position? And I was like,
(26:15):
I can't really explain it, but I just got to
go home and I got to ground my roads. And
you're like, you've got to follow those nudges.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like like living in this beautiful home and
not wanting it anymore because it's too much, and you
don't know it's too much, but until you're in it
(26:44):
and going like I want something that is enough not
too much, like it's weird for people are not okay,
and that's okay because they're not in the same place
as you, and you just have to be like you
will be confront for people because they are being mirrored
what is actually drinking back to them And that's not
(27:07):
your problem. You just have to be in your truth.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like
to rural New Zealand.
Speaker 5 (27:15):
Next to you fighting for your radio job.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
So I've seen you talk about the importance of boundaries,
particularly over the last couple of years.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Can you talk through that, like, how does that look
for you? Saying no? As a former people pleaser.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Oh my god. Like I had Terry Cole, who is
like the boundary master, come on board and take us
through it. And I think it's just such an interesting thing,
especially raising a little girl to you know, what we're
like as women and how we were raised as children
(27:53):
in the eighties and nineties is such a impact on
our boundaries sexually, with consent, with work, with like signing
off your email's kiss kiss, like like all of the
stuff as a woman and boundaries versus even bringing in
(28:13):
you know, men into the equation and how they do
boundaries that just seem so much more adequate than we are.
But boundaries. So I'm writing a book. It's in its
almost at its final edit and hard it's my first deal.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Oh my god, it's so great.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Congratulations, thank you. It's such a wonderful experience. But this,
this whole I have this whole chapter around boundaries because
it's almost like, and I explain it like this, like
having a door, bitch right to your energy and to yourself.
And you are a exquisite like very very elevated club.
(29:02):
You know, like we're talking, you just can't get in.
You need like a membership, you need who's who, like
it is like the Kram Dela Cram. And then you've
got drunks out in the middle of the night trying
to get into your club. It's like, no, they're going
to come in, piss on the walls, have punch up,
smash all the glasses, like absolutely not, Like this is
(29:23):
a sacred place. Boundaries are for us. It looks like
we're putting a boundary there for somebody else, but they
are for us. And when we say unfortunately, I'm out
of office from three pm every day and the emails
keep coming and you get back to them on a
(29:44):
Monday and they're like, hey, you didn't get back to
my emails. Yeah, it really clearly states that I'm out
of office from three pm without an explanation. When a
family member wants to come over and see your newborn
baby but they're sick, and you're like, sorry, we're not
having visitors for this week and next, and i'd really
appreciate it if you could let me know when you're
(30:06):
well and then we'll organize a time that suits us.
You know, like all of these things, it's not people
see it as being rude. It's not being rude. It's
allowing people to understand your standards and what you require
in life. People think that I am very particular neurotic,
(30:30):
and some of those things are true, but I also
have exceptional standards for myself and then for everybody else.
If you're in my orbit, and if you're not, like
I don't mind, but if you're working with me or
if we're friends, there is a quality that I expect
and that I will return in favor. And I think
(30:52):
the boundaries help that. And I'm really willing, like I
love other people's boundaries. When I see someone like set
a boundary. I'm like, fuck, that's hot. I'm so sexy
for them, Like I like respect, you have self respect,
So I mean you want more information. The whole workshop
gives you like play by play on how to set
a boundary. But this also will come up in moments
(31:16):
that feel deeply uncomfortable, where you will people please when
you really should set a boundary.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
And so how do you how do you prevent that?
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it, because I guess with boundaries,
sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever. But if someone comes up and they ask
something in your face and you're like, like the people
pleaser might want to come out.
Speaker 5 (31:40):
But of course I would say, like, if we're going
from full on people pleasing to boundaries, there's like an evolution.
I would ask for time. I would say like, oh,
that's a really interesting question. Could I get back to
you on that, not in a in five minutes or
in a day. Can I get back to you on that.
That's a really kind way to pause yourself. Then you
could reflect and go like oh, no, I could have
(32:02):
said thank you so much for the opportunity, it just
doesn't fit for me. Or unfortunately I can't stay back
today I have some commitments, you know. Or unfortunately my
contracts I end every day five o'clock. I won't be
staying back. But we can negotiate if you wanted to
explore something further. So I think to start with us
(32:24):
for time and then reflect on what you really wanted
to say, and then always lead with kindness. It's like
being really firm but being really kind.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
And how has life changed since you've been better at
sitting these boundaries?
Speaker 5 (32:38):
Like you just have so much more time you can't
like life is too short to do things you feel
obligated to do unless you're in a contract.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah, you can't really get out of that.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like, really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation. And you don't. No one deserves anything from
(33:14):
you if they're not meeting you. And it feels so good.
It doesn't mean that there are parts of me like
the shadowy parts of myself that don't miss them, you know,
and the comfort of certain parts of the relationship. But
the commitment to myself is more important than that.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
M I love that.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
So how would you describe how life feels right now
for you?
Speaker 5 (33:45):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting. Today is really exciting.
There is a lot of movement, there's a lot of change,
but I am so willing to evolve, and just I
think I've had that weird, you know, society impact on
(34:10):
me where I have to keep scaling and growing and scaling,
and now I'm just like, no, no, I'm just.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Gonna I'm going to downsize.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Yes, the quality of what I've got out there is
so high, it's ever green. We don't I don't need
need to do more without that happening really organically.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Or if there was a quote that you live by,
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, does one pop to the
top of your head.
Speaker 5 (34:44):
I've got one. We had to we did this for
the book, and I was like, asking you shall receive
and it's actually that quote is actually in the Bible,
And so we had to like reference the Bible, and
then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong tone
the book. So I removed asking you shah receive to
(35:04):
whether you think it's true or not? Hang on, it's
oh my god, where do you think it? What do
you think it's true or not?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
You're right right?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Yeah, this is some of one like that, like whether
you think you can or not, you're right right as well.
Speaker 5 (35:20):
Yeah, And I love that because it's the same thing.
There's too many like I love let go or be dragged.
That's one of my favoritess therapist because she's my therapist,
is like a psychologist, but she's definitely spiritually inclined. We
had this real we had an amazing session and we
(35:42):
kind of I guess I said that and she's kept
it forever as a reminder to me. Is like, you know,
you can choose the hard way or the easy way,
it's still going to be the way.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (35:52):
Yeah, it's really.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Good for someone who's in a bit of a rut
at the moment, feeling like they're not loving their best
life and there's so much more that they want to
be achieving.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
They just feel like they're kind of stuck. Do you
have any advice to get out of that rut?
Speaker 5 (36:05):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your disposus,
come in something really seriously though, within that community is
having people around you to inspire you. We call them rises,
and they're people that show, like you know how you
were like comparing yourself to the girl at the radio station,
(36:28):
being able to transform her into if you wanted that
you didn't want that, right, but say that you did.
Transforming that envy into someone that stretches you, that you
can talk to, that you're inspired by, is such an
amazing way. And within the community, you have all these
(36:49):
people every day going, oh my god, I'm stuck, I'm
in a rut, and you have someone else coming up
with this helped me? Or did you try this or
this meditation is amazing? Or did you do the Inner
Child workshop? And then you've got people that are there
to champion you. You've got people there that can help
you do priming phone calls. Like I think staying accountable
is the biggest thing. It's kind of like a gym
(37:11):
work membership or losing weight or doing something new. You
have to have accountability. And that's why I created the
community is because and I'm talking about the Arise community
is because when I was in this ten years ago
and there was no one doing it, it's so hard
to stay committed and to believe. And even when you've
(37:31):
called in everything and you've taken the aligned action and
you've done everything, and you're in the abyss, which is
the time where we wait for the manifestation to occur,
it's hard. Bit I hate the most, and so having
being in a space that's safe and you can just
be like, I am dying here, like my patience is
(37:53):
running out what I do and they're like, go back
to trust, go back to gratitude, do like, go back
to the work. It's such a help helpful thing because
when you're out on your loan like an Island and
you're in the abuse, You're like, it doesn't work. Fuck
this ship. I'm going back to my old job that
I hate. So yeah, I've created the thing I needed
the most, and it's it's very impactful.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
So people can find that just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.
Speaker 5 (38:22):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.
I think it's a rise dot com dot a U
A R double I S E or on Instagram, it's
a rise A RI I double A S E Underscore
Underscot underscore because I fucked up the first did you
charge of that?
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Come on, guys, guys, that's why you act like you're
terrible and then no one asks you to do things.
Speaker 5 (38:47):
It's a good, good technician, accomplishent woman.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Okay, So I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self. Say, Zoe,
is it early twenties, she's just finding her.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Way through life. What would be the biggest.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Negative wisdom that you would in part on younger Zo.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
It's going to get really really bad and then it's
going to get really really good. So just have faith
when you want to give up, but it gets really good.
Like just trust.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
So beautiful, Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I just love because you talk about.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Evolving and how you love growth and all of that,
and I just feel like every time I see you,
you're like an upgraded version of yourself.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (39:42):
That'd be terrible if I'd like gone backwards, right, You'd
be like, what a disappointment, No, but.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
You are, But like you grow.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
You're just constantly shifting with putting a challenge is to
throw in your way, and I always look at you
as an inspiration. So thank you so much for coming
on the podcas Us today.
Speaker 5 (40:01):
Thank you, beautiful girl. I can't wait to see you
in real life one day. Ah.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
That was my chat with Zolley.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation the most. I think
some of my big takeaways were they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when she put it like, oh, if you've got
to be tired, got to be thirty minutes earlier.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
You know, you have to be.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Strict on sleep. Like sleep at the end of the
day is it runs us like honestly, we have to
get strict on it. And I I'm, for one, am
very guilty at staying up too late watching TV, particularly lately,
So that was a really good reminder for me. And
also I loved when she was talking about being the
gatekeeper for your energy and being ruthless and really setting
(40:50):
the boundaries of who gets to come into your life, which,
as she said, it sounds you know it can sound
quite brash and rude and brutal, but I mean, if
you want to give the best version of yourself, you
have to get really clear on who you want to
bring into your world. And then finally, I really liked
(41:11):
that story when she hit that really shitty day and
just letting go when she hits the fan, instead of
trying to fix everything and going into just the biggest
state of overwhelm, actually removing yourself from that situation and
going to the beach, going for a walk, whatever it is,
(41:33):
just getting out of that moment where the world feels
like it's falling in or the sky feels like it's
falling in, and actually stepping back gives.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
You the other perspective.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
So I really liked that not trying to push it
in those situations and just taking a deep breath and
realizing it's actually not the end of the world. But
I would love to know what you got out of
the chat this week, and you can help me up
on Instagram PJDJ see me a little message. I'd love
to know of any other people you think would be
great to get on for Slow It Down. Thank you
(42:04):
so much for joining me for my first episode. I
really appreciate it, and I'll see you next week.
Hey, podcast listeners, it's John a been a Meghan here
right now, a special podcast, a brand new podcast. You're
about to hear the first episode on our podcast feed
and I could man spin it. I could tell you
more about it, but I'm not going.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
To because he doesn't know enough about it. Exactly right.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
We've got the start of the podcast, you know, from
Meddi and PJ in the afternoons on the Hits, it's
pe J harding.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
How you doing?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Heye, thank you guys. Well I think you could come
on Ben, give it your bescuy, Like, what do you
think the podcast is about.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It's about it down, It's about slowing it down.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
It's about you know, life is busy, Peach. It's hard,
you know, and it's nice to take a moment for
yourself and to appreciate the things because it's moving fast
and sometimes you don't you don't know the good old
days until they're gone. I think Cash is saying about
that with Macklamore.
Speaker 5 (00:41):
You absolutely not, No, that's exactly it.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
I'm doing this probably from a selfish perspect of I
feel like life has been particularly busy this year, and
I don't want to be that person who always gives
the copper answer of being busy. So it's literally dedicating
just under an hour every week.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Talking to people on how they slow it down.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
I find peace the chaos and the magic moments from
the mundane and basically reconnecting with what it means to
be human, which, like it all sounds where she was
she talked, But I think more than even we need
this kind of chat. People thrust out life as hers
and I just want to have like a little bit
of a zen kind of retreat vibe for Sunday.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Oh God, that's a great idea for them, and so
people can listen to it right now, right in our
first episode, and then of course you can subscribe to
Slow It Down with PJ Harding on iHeartRadio, where you
get your podcasts. Episodes out every Sunday, Peach.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
That's every Sunday.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
With the Heads podcast Network.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Hello and welcome to Slow It Down. I'm your host,
PJ Harding, and I've started this podcast because, well, pretty selfishly, really,
I feel like life is so busy, even though I
live literally in the middle of nowhere, off.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Grid, surrounded by bosh.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
You'd think that you could just quiet in the noise,
but I still feel stressed. I still feel overwhelmed. I
still feel that pressure of keeping up with what everyone
else is doing. And I want to carve out some
time every week to sit down and have really conscious
conversations with people who are also living busy lives. And
(02:26):
I want to pick their brains and work out how
they find peace and the chaos and what.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Rituals they do to stay sane. It's that simple.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Every week I'll have a new guest and hopefully we
can be inspired together. I don't want this to be
a judgmental zone. I want it to be a placed
you can chill out and listen to over the weekend.
And I am so excited to introduce my first guest
on the show, Zoe Marshall. We actually briefly work together
(02:55):
back in the day when she was working on ZDM
and Auckland. She worked on a show there for a while,
and then we've sort of just kept in touch over
the years, and she's gone.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
On to create some amazing podcasts.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
She created The Deep and then started a subscription called
The Deeper, and the conversations that she has had on
that podcast have been pretty heavy. She's talked to people
will parents that have been given a terminal diagnosis. She's
talked to istics, conscious sex workers, the list goes on.
(03:34):
She's not afraid to tackle a taboo topic, and more recently,
she's gone on to create a new platform called Rise,
which helps people create the life they deserve. And it's
all about manifestation, but as it's manifestation a bit better,
and she talks about her through so much more to
it than just at being woo. There's a lot of
(03:55):
science to back up some of this stuff. So I
can't wait to pick her brain this episode. And I
really hope you enjoying my chat with Sally. Oh sorry,
I've been so excited to catch up with you.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
It has been a while. I think the last time
we talked, i'd just.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Given birth and I went through like a step by
step harrowing encounter of what happens.
Speaker 5 (04:17):
Yeah, you were there was a little bit of PTSD.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Yeah, yeah, So it's really nice to see your beautiful
face again and you howl'd the baby he's just gone.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
To Wow, two years since I spoke to you, it's crazy. Yeah,
you were living in the bush.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I am kind pretty much.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
Yes, yes, though I work in the nearest town now,
so I actually do a radio show out of the
local rural tarmag is a twenty.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Minute drive look at you all set up?
Speaker 3 (04:49):
First of all, I'll run through what slow It Down
is and kind of the premise of this podcast and
why I thought you'd be a perfect fat So basically,
I think since to the middle of nowhere, you know,
I had this expectation that life becomes slow and relaxed
and I'd be grounded. And the reality is, I'm still stressed.
(05:12):
Life still feels chaotic, and I have a beautiful life,
but it's so easy to not appreciate everything beautiful in
front of you. So I want to talk about tips
and tricks and ways to really feel like you can
make the most of the golden years.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
Oh my god, are we in the golden years?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I know? I know for sure.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
I feel like this is so aligned with where I
am at because I am very literally in a metamorphosis
of wanting to have the experiences and wisdom of like
being an elder on a rocking chair, you know, yep,
(05:55):
but like doing all of that now, like the pace,
the presence, the appreciation now. So I am I'm just
I want to get rid of everything. I want to
get rid of like a lot of my belongings. I
want to downsize everything in my life. I want to
(06:18):
just have my needs met and then be able to.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Do less.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
And I am like it already is happening. And I
think it all started with like I had a quite
quite a scary breast scare in June, and that just
shifts everything. And it's such a shame that human beings
need such a dire situation to wake them up, but
I did. And I just got back from two and
(06:48):
a half weeks in Europe and Dubai and literally just
sitting in the sun eating bread and butter and olive oil.
I was like, this is living. Obviously, it's very different circumstances,
but what if we could bring that level. I like
(07:09):
to call it like the magic in the mundane, like
finding the miracles.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Stop it there.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
It's literally like one of my objectives, well objectives of
this podcast is finding magic in the mundane, or like
finding meaning in the mundane, right.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Yeah, And I find like being in awe of everything
around us. So I think we have just been really
stripped of so much importance because of you know, how
distracted we are, how we've got these kind of really
(07:45):
quick dopamine hits all the time. We're not able to
focus in and slow down and appreciate the things that
we have. I created a whole new business. I got
rid of slowed down one side of my business and
started a new one which is all around this and
it's around manifestation, co creation mindset. But truly, like it
(08:08):
sounds like a riddle, but everything that we want, if
you are living as if you already have that thing,
and you're already feeling the way it would feel to
have the thing, then you already have the feeling you
would have it even if you got it. So it's
kind of like once you get all the stuff right,
(08:30):
Like I went really hard in my career and I
got the accolades, and I got the fancy car, and
I got the fancy house, and I got the fancy things,
and then you're like, oh fuck, I didn't need any
of the fancy things, any of them. Yes, right, but
now shut down all those businesses. Start something that feels
like in true service, which will also keep me accountable
(08:53):
every single day and just be able to meet life
where it's at and be able to practice in real time.
It's it's okay, to become heady about all of this
and get into the education and do the YouTube and
be in the tutorials and join the courses. But unless
you're in complete chaotic insanity and you don't start to
(09:15):
bring the stuff in, there's no point. Like you're just
on the kind of little rat wheel. What do you
call it?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, thats the rat race.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
That's also another reason why I wanted to do this,
because I've bought so many self help books of my life,
and I know all the shit to do, but just
sometimes implementing it is kind of hard. And you're right,
it's so sad that we have to have like these
life awakening moments, you know, whether it's a family member
(09:45):
getting really unwell.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Or you lose your house or whatever.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
When people are really stared with what reality is, that's
when they're like, oh, fuck, I don't have long to
live and I mean to live and.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I can't waste another second.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
And like what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:02):
And how am I eating? And how am I moving?
And how am I turning up for my family? And
how am I working? And like like we are just
in this autopilot of life happening to us, and no
one actually stops until you're forced to stop, which is
a health scare or a death or like a crumbling
(10:22):
and you're like, oh my god, I have to change.
I can't smoke anymore, I can't drink like I like
all of the things. But really, I guess what I'm
trying to teach my community at a RISE is like,
we don't need to get to breaking point to change, Like,
we can bring in really incredible mini habits to change
(10:44):
your life, and it will change your life and you
can have these realizations now and not at seventy, you know,
on the rocking chair. I feel like I'm very aligned
with your podcast.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Well, I was looking at some of your videos on
the Rise page today and there was that caught my eye,
and it was so funny because this woman was talking
to you about the importance of starting your day with
something positive and how that will set you up for
a more positive experience.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Not necessarily bring you more.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Positivity, but you'll be more aware of the positive things
that happened to you. So I watched that video and
then that second I've got it into practice, right, And
I was like, Okay, okay, you're right, because wake up
in like a stressed mode, right, and I know I
should be more mindful.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
So I was like, Okay, I'm gonna say the mantra,
what if everything.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Just wiked out? What if everything just wicks out? What
if everything just wixs at? And I keep saying that
and then no shits away. I walk outside the house
and there was this rainbow just going over our house,
like it was the perfect rainbow.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
And I was like, I got a chill zoeing that,
and then it just stayed.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
There for our ages and I was like, okay, well,
that in itself is just one of those moments.
Speaker 5 (11:54):
And so there is science behind this, because my program
is backed by neuroscience. There's science behind starting your day
with a declaration, an affirmation, a positive headspace like it.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
It it's not just wore woolshit, No.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
It like impacts your RAS system. Your RA system is
your rearticular activation system. And what that does is we
are consuming so much information all the time as humans.
We are always scanning for information that makes us true
or safe. So if you wake up and you're like
life is hard, things are hard, and nothing works out
(12:31):
for me, your RAP system is figuring out, Like I'm
sure there was something underneath that rainbow, like there was
a traffic jam or there was this, or that was that,
and you were like, okay, but I see the rainbow
in the traffic jem and I see the rainbow.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
And then moment I was like, oh my god, because
I'm so guilty of just like back in the day,
I felt like I was bitter at embodying all these
things that I believed, like having all these retchalks.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
But it's so easy to get caught back.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
Up and that like we as you talk about, and
I know there's so many beautiful things that I miss
out on. So it was it was quite like a
powerful moment where I was like, you cannot afford to
miss all of this beauty and magic, because that's what
it's all about.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
And we do become addicted very immediately to our to
do lists and our needs and our children's needs and
the work and like. But the thing is, which is
so funny and very humbling, is the world doesn't end
if you didn't do the grocery shop, or if the
(13:36):
child is like the school, or if you didn't have
as many talking points for the radio show, like it
just doesn't like maybe eventually you'll lose your job if
you don't keep.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Doing it over and over.
Speaker 5 (13:48):
But I think we start to lose. We are putting
things in a very important category that aren't and we're
putting ourselves and our mental health and our move movement
and our conversations as like something at the bottom of
the barrels too. When I've put the kids to bed
(14:08):
and I lay on the couch and I'm scrolling on
TikTok and watching a show at the same time, like
it just we're responsible, And I don't think that anyone
can like victimize themselves because we all have the ability,
like we really do.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Okay, so give me some really great ways things that
we can do to weave into our day to encourage
that presence.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
I think firstly, this isn't like a quick hit. This
isn't like winning the lotto. This isn't like a pyramid
scheme marketing thing where you may keeps of money, and like,
no one is going to do this for you, and
it is going to require commitment to yourself. But I
can tell you the people that we look up to,
(14:56):
the celebrities or the entrepreneurs or the billion dollar business people,
have such integrity with their routines to themselves. So I
say to everyone in the course, especially when you're starting,
get up thirty minutes before you usually do right, And
that's really hard if you've got kids and you're getting
(15:18):
up at five instead of five thirty, right, but go
to bed earlier and in that thirty minutes you have
the ability to create a declaration when you're in an
alpha state, that awake state, right to program your rust system.
You can do some some I want to say human users.
(15:42):
I want to say it's called like horizon gazing, but
it's when you look out and you're kind of balancing
your circadian rhythm, which is going to really support your sleep.
You can either journal or meditate, whichever feels better for you.
Move and stretch, eat, Like if you do like two
of those six things, you're already setting yourself up right.
(16:04):
So when the kids get up, they're like on, they're
like ready, and you're gonna be a better parent. You're
going to be more patient, You're gonna be able to
listen to them. They're having a tantrum because they want
the blue cup not the red cup. You're like, I
really understand, I get it. Fuck, I really like the
red cup too, But you won't be just like pulling
them out the door. Oh maybe you will, you know.
(16:25):
But I think that starting your day for yourself and
allowing yourself to set intentions rather than the day catch
you up is really important. And then there are a
million other things that we can bring in, Like you
really got to be serious about what you're consuming, how
(16:45):
much water you're drinking. Are you a caffeinated person and
you're relying on stimulants? Are you getting your nourishment in
like where little like organisms we need to be bed
and watered and s And I think it's like looking
at basics, are you moving every day? And then like
how do you see the world and what are you doing?
(17:09):
So co creation, how I teach it isn't wish for
thinking that a ferrari is going to end up at
your doorstep just because you put it on your vision board.
It's like what am I doing today? What actions am
I taking to be magnetic to what I want? And
so like I had a real doozy of a day
(17:31):
on Thursday. It was like our fucking doozy, horrendous jet lag.
I hadn't slept at all, bench had food poisoning. My
nanny was off. One of my favorite favorite teammates within
my business resigned. A lawyer needed a very specific information
(17:54):
from me, my account wanted to have a really hard conversation.
My dog vomited. I couldn't. I couldn't. My daughter was like,
you know, like at me. And so it was a
real moment of like, that doesn't just kick a person
into doing that, kicks you into like safety seeking, behavior
(18:19):
finding security. And I went into my my autopilot, which
is like fix everything now, like blinkers on, don't talk
to me. I'm going to solve all the world's problems
in this moment. And then my husband was like, you're
not okay. I was like, I'm really not okay. Like
a lot is happening, and we have this beautiful session.
(18:43):
We had this workshop within the community that night, which
was such perfect timing, and within this workshop, I was
able to explore what it would look like if I
did things differently like that way of like tunnel vision,
getting a everything done, fixing it all in one day
and stressing myself out. I've done for forty years, So
(19:04):
what would the other way look like. I saw benj
my husband, downstairs, after this workshop, and I said listen.
I know I was in a wild state when you
saw me. I need you to know that I'm going
to practice something and tomorrow I am not going to
do anything about those things I've already like literally shot off.
(19:29):
I've taken so much action today to put out ten fires.
But tomorrow I'm not going to chase like the fire engine.
I'm just going to allow the action that I've taken
to simmer and connect. I'm going to go to the beach,
nice beach. I take my daughter to the beach, and
(19:53):
I am physically going to take myself out of where
I want to be with fixing. And it was in
those moments, and that's what I said at the beginning
of this, which was when the shit hits the fan,
what learnings and what practices are you putting into place?
Because we go to the place we feel the safest,
(20:14):
we don't go to the place which we have the
greatest growth. And so I took my own advice and
I went to the beach and I did that stuff,
and then I realized, with a bit of space, you
have a bit of clarity that I was like, oh
my god, this colleague leaving is the best thing for
us and it hurts because I love them, but you
(20:36):
would never have let them go. You would never and
this is holding the business back. What are you going
to do? And so now on Monday morning, I have
three incredible business strategists that are like the whole thing
has just come together because there's been space and I've
done something implemented the growth without kind of that habitual.
(21:00):
You know, I wanted wine. I wanted heaps of wine.
I wanted to eat heaps of chips, and I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Did you do any of that or did you just
go to the beach?
Speaker 5 (21:09):
I just went to the beach and then I went
for a walk and it was like this is so
fucked being woke, Like how boring. And then on the
weekend I definitely had two glasses of red wine. That's
me being really wild. And I've woken up today no
jet lag and just like I just am excited, like
(21:30):
I did all my practices this morning.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
I'm back.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Yeah, And only it doesn't have to You don't have
to spial for six months, like you can like do
this in a day.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
With manifestations, people often talk about not forcing, not forcing,
not forcing. You took a step back from there, and
you just allowed, and then all of a sudden it
was yeah, in.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
Mantra, it was like, let go let God, you know,
trust trust for us. But that's really hard for like
a control freak. Even as a manifestation master like you,
still it's just a humbling experience because you never graduate
from this stuff. Your life is just impacted by different
situations and circumstances where you just keep leveling up and
(22:21):
it's a beautiful life, like it's an extraordinary life. But
what you see a success and what I see a
success and the person listening are so vastly different. And
I'm not playing the game anymore for whatever anybody else
thinks is successful.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
For me, God, I get so caught up in there,
I really do.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
And I think that I'm bigger than that, or you know,
mature enough to like see past it. But I still
compare myself to so many people, and I'm like, why
the hell am I comparing myself to her? I don't
actually want to be like her, but I'm still comparing myself.
Speaker 5 (22:57):
But if you didn't want what she had, why you
compare exactly?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I don't know, but because there must be an answer.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
There's got to be something I don't know, because I
feel like they've got more success than me, and I
feel like I could be doing that.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
But then I'm like, no, but I don't want to
be doing that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (23:12):
But do you think that their peers are looking at
them like, oh, they're more successful than Polly.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
No one, No one's looking at it like that my brain,
or like.
Speaker 5 (23:23):
Are they thinking, you know, Polly chose to live out
in the wilderness and chose peace, and I'm still here
doing the rat race thing like Polly's got success. I
don't I want that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Oh, it's the rose ten of glasses, It's the grass
is always greener mentality. And I want to know do
you have an answer on how to get out of it?
Speaker 5 (23:45):
I think we need to get really really clear on
what we want and why we want it. And if
you come from a place of ego where I want
what she has or I want that job, because then
my peers think, or my mum think, or I'll drive
a Lamborghini and hot chicks will like me. Versus I
(24:06):
want to do work that I feel passionate and purposeful,
and I want to be living a life in integrity
and of service to others are two very different things.
Like it's okay to want fancy shit because our ego
is always running in the background and we want people
to give us a compliment or acknowledge us or make
(24:30):
us seen like it's very human. But that's fine on
like a superficial level when we're talking about like our
life path and our purpose, like get really clear on why.
Because when we go back to that whole point of
like feeling the feeling of being the most successful version
(24:50):
of yourself, right, if you're living that feeling, walking as
if you're that person, talking as if you're that person,
you're going to be a t tracting so many opportunities
and people and places and things and serendipitous moments that
meet you there when it's in truth versus ego. And
(25:11):
so it's like you can keep trying to out smart
yourself or you can just like surrender your options.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yes, And when you get into those mindset's this such
roadblocks and obstacles to actually getting what you want, Like
they're just fucking waste of time, waste.
Speaker 5 (25:32):
Of time, And you think you want the push right, yes,
and then you get it and you realize no one
is looking at you in your push, no one gives
a shit about you and your push, like they really don't,
and the people that do, like, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I remember when I was in Australia and I was
on billboards and I was like, really good work, and
I just remember going, as I say, I was like
I find o this river, this is not going to
be this, Like there was such a big part of
me that didn't feel that deep sense of fulfillment, and
like that was confronting to a lot of people. I
think they were like, why would you step away when
you're in you know, this position? And I was like,
(26:15):
I can't really explain it, but I just got to
go home and I got to ground my roads. And
you're like, you've got to follow those nudges.
Speaker 5 (26:23):
And I think that people see that as successful when
you're not being dictated to by what society is you
should have and you're following your truth, even if that
looks crazy, like like living in this beautiful home and
not wanting it anymore because it's too much, and you
don't know it's too much, but until you're in it
(26:44):
and going like I want something that is enough not
too much, like it's weird for people are not okay,
and that's okay because they're not in the same place
as you, and you just have to be like you
will be confront for people because they are being mirrored
what is actually drinking back to them And that's not
(27:07):
your problem. You just have to be in your truth.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
So you're going to get a tiny home and like
to rural New Zealand.
Speaker 5 (27:15):
Next to you fighting for your radio job.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
So I've seen you talk about the importance of boundaries,
particularly over the last couple of years.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Can you talk through that, like, how does that look
for you? Saying no? As a former people pleaser.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Oh my god. Like I had Terry Cole, who is
like the boundary master, come on board and take us
through it. And I think it's just such an interesting thing,
especially raising a little girl to you know, what we're
like as women and how we were raised as children
(27:53):
in the eighties and nineties is such a impact on
our boundaries sexually, with consent, with work, with like signing
off your email's kiss kiss, like like all of the
stuff as a woman and boundaries versus even bringing in
(28:13):
you know, men into the equation and how they do
boundaries that just seem so much more adequate than we are.
But boundaries. So I'm writing a book. It's in its
almost at its final edit and hard it's my first deal.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Oh my god, it's so great.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Congratulations, thank you. It's such a wonderful experience. But this,
this whole I have this whole chapter around boundaries because
it's almost like, and I explain it like this, like
having a door, bitch right to your energy and to yourself.
And you are a exquisite like very very elevated club.
(29:02):
You know, like we're talking, you just can't get in.
You need like a membership, you need who's who, like
it is like the Kram Dela Cram. And then you've
got drunks out in the middle of the night trying
to get into your club. It's like, no, they're going
to come in, piss on the walls, have punch up,
smash all the glasses, like absolutely not, Like this is
(29:23):
a sacred place. Boundaries are for us. It looks like
we're putting a boundary there for somebody else, but they
are for us. And when we say unfortunately, I'm out
of office from three pm every day and the emails
keep coming and you get back to them on a
(29:44):
Monday and they're like, hey, you didn't get back to
my emails. Yeah, it really clearly states that I'm out
of office from three pm without an explanation. When a
family member wants to come over and see your newborn
baby but they're sick, and you're like, sorry, we're not
having visitors for this week and next, and i'd really
appreciate it if you could let me know when you're
(30:06):
well and then we'll organize a time that suits us.
You know, like all of these things, it's not people
see it as being rude. It's not being rude. It's
allowing people to understand your standards and what you require
in life. People think that I am very particular neurotic,
(30:30):
and some of those things are true, but I also
have exceptional standards for myself and then for everybody else.
If you're in my orbit, and if you're not, like
I don't mind, but if you're working with me or
if we're friends, there is a quality that I expect
and that I will return in favor. And I think
(30:52):
the boundaries help that. And I'm really willing, like I
love other people's boundaries. When I see someone like set
a boundary. I'm like, fuck, that's hot. I'm so sexy
for them, Like I like respect, you have self respect,
So I mean you want more information. The whole workshop
gives you like play by play on how to set
a boundary. But this also will come up in moments
(31:16):
that feel deeply uncomfortable, where you will people please when
you really should set a boundary.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
And so how do you how do you prevent that?
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Like when it is an in this like spur of
the moment kind of thing and someone's there and you're
like not prepared for it, because I guess with boundaries,
sometimes people can be ready to reply with an email
or whatever. But if someone comes up and they ask
something in your face and you're like, like the people
pleaser might want to come out.
Speaker 5 (31:40):
But of course I would say, like, if we're going
from full on people pleasing to boundaries, there's like an evolution.
I would ask for time. I would say like, oh,
that's a really interesting question. Could I get back to
you on that, not in a in five minutes or
in a day. Can I get back to you on that.
That's a really kind way to pause yourself. Then you
could reflect and go like oh, no, I could have
(32:02):
said thank you so much for the opportunity, it just
doesn't fit for me. Or unfortunately I can't stay back
today I have some commitments, you know. Or unfortunately my
contracts I end every day five o'clock. I won't be
staying back. But we can negotiate if you wanted to
explore something further. So I think to start with us
(32:24):
for time and then reflect on what you really wanted
to say, and then always lead with kindness. It's like
being really firm but being really kind.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
And how has life changed since you've been better at
sitting these boundaries?
Speaker 5 (32:38):
Like you just have so much more time you can't
like life is too short to do things you feel
obligated to do unless you're in a contract.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah, you can't really get out of that.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
Look, I'm really in this transitional evolution even with friendships
with family members, Like, really, I'm doing some big stuff,
ending some big relationships that have required endings for a
long time that I haven't been able to do out
of obligation. And you don't. No one deserves anything from
(33:14):
you if they're not meeting you. And it feels so good.
It doesn't mean that there are parts of me like
the shadowy parts of myself that don't miss them, you know,
and the comfort of certain parts of the relationship. But
the commitment to myself is more important than that.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
M I love that.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
So how would you describe how life feels right now
for you?
Speaker 5 (33:45):
Really exciting? Thursday wasn't so exciting. Today is really exciting.
There is a lot of movement, there's a lot of change,
but I am so willing to evolve, and just I
think I've had that weird, you know, society impact on
(34:10):
me where I have to keep scaling and growing and scaling,
and now I'm just like, no, no, I'm just.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Gonna I'm going to downsize.
Speaker 5 (34:19):
Yes, the quality of what I've got out there is
so high, it's ever green. We don't I don't need
need to do more without that happening really organically.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Or if there was a quote that you live by,
or you think there's a quote that is such a
good mantra for one's life, does one pop to the
top of your head.
Speaker 5 (34:44):
I've got one. We had to we did this for
the book, and I was like, asking you shall receive
and it's actually that quote is actually in the Bible,
And so we had to like reference the Bible, and
then they were like, you're definitely setting the wrong tone
the book. So I removed asking you shah receive to
(35:04):
whether you think it's true or not? Hang on, it's
oh my god, where do you think it? What do
you think it's true or not?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
You're right right?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Yeah, this is some of one like that, like whether
you think you can or not, you're right right as well.
Speaker 5 (35:20):
Yeah, And I love that because it's the same thing.
There's too many like I love let go or be dragged.
That's one of my favoritess therapist because she's my therapist,
is like a psychologist, but she's definitely spiritually inclined. We
had this real we had an amazing session and we
(35:42):
kind of I guess I said that and she's kept
it forever as a reminder to me. Is like, you know,
you can choose the hard way or the easy way,
it's still going to be the way.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 5 (35:52):
Yeah, it's really.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
Good for someone who's in a bit of a rut
at the moment, feeling like they're not loving their best
life and there's so much more that they want to
be achieving.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
They just feel like they're kind of stuck. Do you
have any advice to get out of that rut?
Speaker 5 (36:05):
I mean, join the membership, use me to your disposus,
come in something really seriously though, within that community is
having people around you to inspire you. We call them rises,
and they're people that show, like you know how you
were like comparing yourself to the girl at the radio station,
(36:28):
being able to transform her into if you wanted that
you didn't want that, right, but say that you did.
Transforming that envy into someone that stretches you, that you
can talk to, that you're inspired by, is such an
amazing way. And within the community, you have all these
(36:49):
people every day going, oh my god, I'm stuck, I'm
in a rut, and you have someone else coming up
with this helped me? Or did you try this or
this meditation is amazing? Or did you do the Inner
Child workshop? And then you've got people that are there
to champion you. You've got people there that can help
you do priming phone calls. Like I think staying accountable
is the biggest thing. It's kind of like a gym
(37:11):
work membership or losing weight or doing something new. You
have to have accountability. And that's why I created the
community is because and I'm talking about the Arise community
is because when I was in this ten years ago
and there was no one doing it, it's so hard
to stay committed and to believe. And even when you've
(37:31):
called in everything and you've taken the aligned action and
you've done everything, and you're in the abyss, which is
the time where we wait for the manifestation to occur,
it's hard. Bit I hate the most, and so having
being in a space that's safe and you can just
be like, I am dying here, like my patience is
(37:53):
running out what I do and they're like, go back
to trust, go back to gratitude, do like, go back
to the work. It's such a help helpful thing because
when you're out on your loan like an Island and
you're in the abuse, You're like, it doesn't work. Fuck
this ship. I'm going back to my old job that
I hate. So yeah, I've created the thing I needed
the most, and it's it's very impactful.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
So people can find that just if we want to
do a little fluggy blood plug.
Speaker 5 (38:22):
I think it's I think, oh my gosh, I should notice.
I think it's a rise dot com dot a U
A R double I S E or on Instagram, it's
a rise A RI I double A S E Underscore
Underscot underscore because I fucked up the first did you
charge of that?
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Come on, guys, guys, that's why you act like you're
terrible and then no one asks you to do things.
Speaker 5 (38:47):
It's a good, good technician, accomplishent woman.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Okay, So I'm going to wrap this podcast up with
some advice that you would give to your younger self. Say, Zoe,
is it early twenties, she's just finding her.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Way through life. What would be the biggest.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Negative wisdom that you would in part on younger Zo.
Speaker 5 (39:13):
It's going to get really really bad and then it's
going to get really really good. So just have faith
when you want to give up, but it gets really good.
Like just trust.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
So beautiful, Zoe, and so nice to reconnect with you today.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I just love because you talk about.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
Evolving and how you love growth and all of that,
and I just feel like every time I see you,
you're like an upgraded version of yourself.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (39:42):
That'd be terrible if I'd like gone backwards, right, You'd
be like, what a disappointment, No, but.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
You are, But like you grow.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
You're just constantly shifting with putting a challenge is to
throw in your way, and I always look at you
as an inspiration. So thank you so much for coming
on the podcas Us today.
Speaker 5 (40:01):
Thank you, beautiful girl. I can't wait to see you
in real life one day. Ah.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
That was my chat with Zolley.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
I really hope you enjoyed it. Love to know what
you got out of that conversation the most. I think
some of my big takeaways were they're getting up thirty
minutes earlier. It sounds like such a simple one, but
even when she put it like, oh, if you've got
to be tired, got to be thirty minutes earlier.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
You know, you have to be.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Strict on sleep. Like sleep at the end of the
day is it runs us like honestly, we have to
get strict on it. And I I'm, for one, am
very guilty at staying up too late watching TV, particularly lately,
So that was a really good reminder for me. And
also I loved when she was talking about being the
gatekeeper for your energy and being ruthless and really setting
(40:50):
the boundaries of who gets to come into your life, which,
as she said, it sounds you know it can sound
quite brash and rude and brutal, but I mean, if
you want to give the best version of yourself, you
have to get really clear on who you want to
bring into your world. And then finally, I really liked
(41:11):
that story when she hit that really shitty day and
just letting go when she hits the fan, instead of
trying to fix everything and going into just the biggest
state of overwhelm, actually removing yourself from that situation and
going to the beach, going for a walk, whatever it is,
(41:33):
just getting out of that moment where the world feels
like it's falling in or the sky feels like it's
falling in, and actually stepping back gives.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
You the other perspective.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
So I really liked that not trying to push it
in those situations and just taking a deep breath and
realizing it's actually not the end of the world. But
I would love to know what you got out of
the chat this week, and you can help me up
on Instagram PJDJ see me a little message. I'd love
to know of any other people you think would be
great to get on for Slow It Down. Thank you
(42:04):
so much for joining me for my first episode. I
really appreciate it, and I'll see you next week.
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