January 8, 2026 • 43 mins
Wednesday 1-7-26 Show #1224: Happy New Year! We talk about our holiday break, Orlando comics taking over the Austin scene, Ken's colonoscopy, and the glory days of the house party.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
What's going on, family, you will tune in the real
last We're ready a one or four point one your
night cap of comedy. My name is Kim Miller in
the Big chair tonight. Hey, I'm running the show. I'm
running the show because James is out on the boat
getting his amastot on, working for the White Man. Jame's
gonna be gone with two weeks. Man, James's out on
(00:28):
the cruise ship. I look it up and see what
it is. So if you're our cruising and you see
James John telling real lass missing him and we love him,
and apparently he miss us because he's been texting me
all day, I was like, what plan you got, Like,
you really miss me? Brother? You're gonna pay seventy five
dollars a text message. Bro, you must really miss me.
But shout out to our dog James. But during the
(00:49):
first studio of my comedy Brothers, I'm gonna start up
with the guy who got this thing started, mister Miguil
Coloon Junior, Mgat, what's up, my brother?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
What's up? Man? Happy holidays? Boys holidays?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, man, we're gonna we're gonna get to that next man,
that other man and the studio with us. Look like
he got a backpack on. I don't know if that's
his sweater. I don't know if he jumped. I don't
know if he's going airborne or owners or what if
you haven't flats back. But from the Law Office of Kafflin,
the Land and the under O Podcast and our official sponsor,
mister Jeff the Batman coff. But Jeff, how you doing?
My brother?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Twenty twenty six? Loving it? I got no complaints. Twenty
twenty five was fun. Now we're gonna turn it up
in twenty twenty six and do some more stuff. I
loved it, loved it. End of the year exactly the
way I started it. Feeling good.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's what I was talking about. And we haven't seen
each other talk to each other in a couple of weeks,
and with this our first show back on the air
for the for the new year. So I gotta ask you,
don't you, mister Miguiel, how was your holidays? My brother?
Speaker 4 (01:46):
They were great, man, they were great. I got to
see the family and hang out. I worked on New Year.
We threw a New Year party, which is always nice.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I love.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
I'll tell you there's some holidays that you're supposed to
be at a house party and New Year's and four
July or two that I always feel like if you're
at a house party on New Year's and fourth of July,
you get you get exactly what it's supposed to be.
You can have fun a lot of other places. You know,
we've all been out to some like nice fancy thing
in New Year's Like this is great, but it's just
(02:15):
nothing like that house party vibe of New Year's and
Fourth of July because you talking to everybody. I tell
you about time. The great thing about a house party
when you're a young person, especially like in your twenties
versus a club is at a club, if the most
beautiful woman in the world is standing there and I
just like a song, and I'm like, this is a
pretty good song.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
She's got to be on defensive mode because there's so
many d bags jazz trying to talk to her. But
you had a house party and it could literally be
Sidney Sweeney taking a break from a movie and she's
standing there.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You like, this is a good song. Huh. She's like
it's a really good song.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Man. Blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Everybody just at a house party, you viabe.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
And if you had a club and you say the
same thing to a girl and she's got a man,
her man rolls up, he looks at you. He's like, hey, man,
is there a problem. You're like, noah, I'm just talking
about the song. If you had a house party and
you're like, this is a good song, she's like, yeah,
my man loves it. He's like, hey, player, I got
the album, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah. And that's how male friendships begin.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Hir Yeah, talking to him. We only talk every couple
of weeks. That's my dog.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Bro. That is facts, Bro, that is one hundred percent facts. Man, Jeff,
how was y'all today?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Brother?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What you end up doing?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Listening to Miguel's holiday, it sounds it sounds like Trump
pulled his benefits or something. I mean, it sounds like
what you're gonna do? I ain't got no money. When
we go, I'll go to your house, you know, I'll
tell you what I had. I had a New Year's
that if you had no family and you could do
whatever the hell you want, you would have chosen this one.
I mean it was crazy. I went to Diagona Falls
(03:58):
for Christmas God in the day before, then went to Vegas.
The next day went out. I saw Backstreet Boys at
the Sphere. I saw a jelly roll for New Year's
Eve played the Cosmopolitian and there were maybe twenty five
hundred people in that room and he just sang for
an hour and a half through New Year's I felt good.
I had no he was. He was hitting everything. He
(04:21):
was talking about life, talking about all the things we
need to do to make ourselves better. I loved it, man,
I was. I can't tell you a better New Year's
I had. So I feel felt pretty good. I didn't
deal with anybody's issues. You know, I didn't take.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
You Niagara Falls.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I went for four days for Christmas and just did
nothing I had. I went to my two favorite restaurants,
just so I had a buddy show up, you know.
You know when all the traffic went down, you know
I had planned for that. I said, Okay, if it
goes down, I got three or four things I can do.
In Buffalo for about six seven hours, I saw a
search of slaveh show called a movie.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Got one of them buckets down the Falls.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, yeah, I almost did it. You can do so No, no,
I don't, I don't, I don't choose. I don't choose that.
But yeah, now, now Kevin Miller, you know he did
the family thing, but he was I guarantee he was
in the middle of a show on New.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Year's oh, one hundred percent. For Christmas, Man, we did
the We had Christmas at the house and then we
took our kids to Saint Augustine to see the lights
were rid of you know, you ride of trolley around
Saint Augustine because my wife loves the lights. So we
actually Christmas Eve, we went to Disney Springs because we
always do, you know, go look at those do the
(05:39):
Christmas trees and you gotta do the little Man. Our
pact was that it was stupid pack, bro. It was
stupid pack. It was stupid packed. But we had a
good time with just me and and Sean and Jozzia.
Leyla didn't go. Leayla had rehearsals, and then Christmas we
did our Christmas dan and the day after Christmas Day
we went to Saint Augustine. And then for New Year's
(06:04):
you know, every year, if you guys know, me and
my wife rotate. We do church one year and then
the next year we do comedist. So this year I
got to do stand up at one of my favorite
comedy clubs in Florida, McCurdy's in Sarasota, and it was dope.
But I will say this, man Jeff talking about this
before the show started. The Amateur Knights for drinkers Saint
(06:24):
Patty's Halloween and New Year's Eve. Oh yeah, it is
Amateur Knight, Miguel. It was. So we did a six
thirty show and a nine thirty show. Both shows. The
six thirty shows, somebody was in the front so drunk.
I'm like, you're not even going to make it to
the ball drop. Yeah, man, like this drunk this early.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Think about this accomplished. They gonna wake up hammered. It's
only eleven or five pm, and they're like, wow, twenty
twenty six. You're like, no player, you got yo.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And then the second show, so they got a bouncer
at mccurty. I love his kid. He ready, he ready
to throw you out. I don't care what he ready.
So the front table was a little chatty, but a
fun chatty. You know, if you go to it. I'm
having fun with them, and I made a joke about
kicking them out, not seriously. Man, Let me tell you.
He ran across the table like the matrix. He said,
(07:20):
y'all need to be quiet, get out. I said, no,
they're fine, they're fine, They're fine. If they were so
upset they didn't even stay for the ball drop, they
ended up leaving. So at eleven thirty I had a
hard stop. They did some raffling, we did the countdown,
and then it was over me and Sean was like, well,
what do you want to do. I said, well, you
know me, I got to go to my favorite place.
(07:40):
This is my last drink for January. And we went
to Corona in Snnesota and actually met the owner of Corona. Wo. Yeah,
met the owner of Corona. I wonder all of them,
all of them, look at that met the owner.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Did you tell me a box?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah? I tell him I had my own locker, my
whole lock and everything. And so we talk about twenty
minutes talking about comedy and everything. And then I did
while I was off June. First, I mean, excuse me,
Jamri First, no comedy. And then the rest of the
weekend I did mccurty's Man. And I keep telling people,
if you in Sarrinsota, go to mccurty's Comedy Club is
(08:18):
it is one of the best independent clubs in the
United States of America. They're so trained, Like I don't
count New Year's Eve because they were drunk. I have
never in my twenty years of working the club ever
had a heckler ever. Ever, he trains them. So what
(08:40):
happens Jeff is he comes out and he does the
owner and his comedy buddy King either one of those
guys hosts. They come out and they do twenty minutes
of CrowdWork, die birthdays out of that, and then when
they're done, they say, all right, y'all done talking. You
talk to me, then'e talking up. Don't talk no more.
(09:00):
And when I tell you, I have never been heckued
at that club.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
You know what I did notice? I noticed one of
our comedy brothers, Ryan Holmes, kept posting about how he
was in Austin, Texas to win the comedy circuit and
he had his name on the list. Yeah, and the Mothership.
I was really happy for him. I was like, I
was like, that was pretty cool, man. You just show
up and they put you on.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
That can't be no, it's lit.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
So that is that's the Mothership open Mic and Cruise Show.
And there's like about maybe about one hundred people who
sign up for the Mothership open Mic and a cruise Show.
But a little shide note, Orlando got a lock on Austin.
I can't walk through Austin without running into like and
I'm not even exaggerating, fifteen twenties of the twenty of
(09:50):
the boys from Town and everybody working somewhere like it
in Austin right now. Man, you could, like if Ken,
if you went to Austin right now, you could probably
hop on six seven shows tonight all over town, hop
on do ten minute spot, and there would be lines
of people like trying to sign up, and they'd be like, sorry, man,
(10:11):
it's sign up.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
You got oh smack, Ken, what up? Dog? I got you?
Speaker 4 (10:14):
You know, like it's our boys make Christoph Jean's at
the mother Ship, Jake Ricker is over at creaking the
Cave all the time. Marvin i Isy's just walking around sad,
you know, like I mean, it's literally bro last time,
no lie, guys, last time I was Austin, I was
at Vulcan and I was in the green room and
(10:36):
it was literally cap right. I think it was cap right,
Christoph Jake Ricker. I just walked in, not even knowing
like they were gonna be there, and it's just it's
like walking. It's it's literally like walking into Milk District,
you know. And that's it's the most prominent city in
comedy right now.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
And or Florida.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
And I mean I'm not exaggerating.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Florida has Austin on locks.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
It's great. It's great.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
It's like Vegas in like the fifties, and we're the
Chicago Mob.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Just because we were open. Everyone else was on vacation
for two years. Yeah, you know, yeah during COVID we
were on so while everyone else was sitting around trying
to figure it out, we were working.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I had a joke I was like the hardest part
about doing comedy and Coffin during COVID was just coughing
away from the mic.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
You know, dude, I'm still at it. Said we were
the Chicago Mob.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Chicago Mob in Vegas, man, that was our town.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That was our town. There's more I run into more, dudes.
It's Philly and Florida.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
That's that's the two biggest, biggest scenes out there that
you run into.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
A really good working comics.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Like, I'm not trying to talk about superstars or just
people who just moved out of Austin to be comics.
But when it comes to the working comics out in
Austin is Florida deep and it's Philly.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I mean, think about it.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
You got David Jolly, Camp bertrand Jake Rica, Christoph gene
Cap right, you had Cam Patterson out there. I'm trying
to think, man, like, this's about ten Off the top
of my head, I could think of Tony Wellings. I mean,
that's just it's packed. It's packed with working comics that
(12:18):
are from our area.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Nice man, congrats to them, dudes, man, because it's hard
to go to another scene and get seen in that scene.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Yeah. I mean like you could be the big fish
in your scene, but then you go somewhere else and
they're like, what I hain't never heard of Orlando. Orlando
got comedy, and.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
We came down with that. We came down with that
raw comedy package. And then when we drove it, we
drove up that comedy package and then we were like, yo,
many they showing them jokes for twenty here, I got,
I got them jokes for fifteen.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know, oh, because it's true. I remember, man, I
went to a festival in Ashville, the Ashvild Comedy Festival,
and it was our was on the Thursday night show
at a brewery and it was four hundred fifty people
in there, and I was number four on the list.
They were like, where you from? Something out of Orlando?
All the LA New York comics, Atlanta comed Nobody's talking
(13:12):
to me. The first three comics, Bomb, I go up
and Slaughter. They were like, Orlando got comedy, y'all, y'all
got it. Like after that, now everybody want to be
my friend. Nobody would talk to me when I told
him I was out of Orlando, because Orlando went nothing
to them. They were looking for New York in LA.
I'm an LA comic, you know what I mean. So yeah,
shout out to Orlando.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm happy that they down and running things. Man. That's dope.
That's super dope.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
But we got to get ready to take a commercial break.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I'm happy you guys had a great holiday. Man, Jeff,
I'm glad you got to enjoy Vegas. Man and Miguel
the house party when we come back. Miguel, I actually
want to bring up house parties. I want to talk
house parties, man, because I had a conversation with my
homeboy about house parties and I was floored at what
he had to say about it. Man, But we gotta
take a quick commercial break. Family right back, were last.
(14:04):
We're a Radio one oh four point one. We're back.
(14:27):
We're last. We're Radio one or four point one. Your night,
Capital Comedy. My name is Kim Millan and the chair tonight.
God do us a fav God to social media like, subscribe, follow, comment,
do all that We're appreciated. Shut out to Jane Jane.
John is out on the boat tonight. So I am
running the show and I'm joining the virtual studio with
the big homie Miguel Cologne Junior and from the law
officers of Coauflin and Lynd mister Jeff the Batman Kaufman.
(14:50):
So Miguel was talking about for New Year Eve that
one of the best places to be is a house party.
I was having this conversation with one of my partner
who's about ten years younger than me, and I was like, Bro,
you don't understand a house party. I don't, I mean,
like a how like you at the party is music,
is drinking and you dancing. He like like, y'all. Like
(15:14):
I was like, bro, like club dancing like not like hey, No,
everybody is in the middle of the living room, front
of your moved. You got the people in the kitchen,
you got living room. You might have some people in
the back patio if they got a backyard with something
going on, but you are dancing. There wasn't no no sitting,
no talking. There was. He was out there grinding, bro,
(15:35):
and he was like, dog, y'all, we need to do
that again. I said, man, it can't be recreated.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
They can't. They can't get off this. You can't dance
with your phone. You know, you too busy check checking
your Instagram while you're while you're on the dance floor.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Caring and caring about pictures and stuff. No, that was
just naturally.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Everyone's got the phone out. It's a concert too. I
was watching Jelly Roller. Man, everyone's got their phone over there.
I'm like, dude, watch the show, you know, enjoy what's
going on. But they can't do it. I used to
have house parties at my house every year for New
Year's for like six years, and I was working part
time at Disney at the time, and they scheduled me
(16:15):
to work in the park that night and they were like,
if you if you passed on that night, you know,
they fired your ass. And I was literally got out
of the park at like eleven twenty and I'm running
to my own party, yeah, twelve before it came out,
and that's you know, and everyone was having a good time.
I mean, jeez, I was glad.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I was glad.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
I hooked everybody up. But that's fun. But you don't
want to be the one throwing the party. That's the problem.
You know, you're in charge of the alcohol. You're in
charge of everybody leaving. You know, you feel bad when
everyone's drunk and you're going, no, you can't leave, and
you go, well, I don't want you to stay.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
But I didn't even like that.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I'm like, go get in your car and ride, you know,
get home.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Hey, hey, I saw Meme the other day saying I
know I'm getting old. I called the police on my
own party because I was ready to go to be.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yay. You see.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
You see got the story about maybe like twenty years
ago when he was throwing his house party and it
got out of control and there was like a thousand people.
And he lives in a regular neighborhood over by UC
had a regular four bedroom house. There was like a
thousand people, and he said neighbors were outside their house,
like on the phone with the cops.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
People were just walking everywhere.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
And he said, to the point where the cops showed
up and him and his roommates just packed up bags
and left their own house. They abandoned their own house.
It's like getting the house, he goes. He went to
his room to go pack up his bag, and there
was like five or six people he don't even know,
just sitting in there chilling.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And he was like, I'm out. I'm out.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Y'all can have it. Y'all can have death. Hilare is
bro Now I'm not. My wife's My wife loves to
throw parties. My wife loves company, loves party, loves decorating,
loves people over. And then I got to the point
where I'm cool with it too because I get to cook,
and I like cook it. So if I get to
put some something on the smoker or fry some chicken,
(18:00):
and then people get to come over and I get
to drink and smoke some cigars, so cause that's kind
of my new house party now if you're coming over now,
it's it's kind of mellow drinking and smoking. But we're
also older. But I was telling my partner Isaiah, you
can't recreate that that nostalgia we had in the nineties
of house party. And because y'all don't party.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, yeah, they don't. They don't wild out.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Like this sounds dumb, and maybe I'm glad they don't
do this anymore. But like, I remember just being somewhere
and seeing some people I kind of vaguely knew from somewhere,
and you're just talking to me, like what are y'all
getting into? Like, oh, we're gonna go to Romy's party.
Romi who Romie from down the way? I can ride
with you. Yeah, And now I'm in the car with
(18:46):
people I don't really know going through it and I
don't have a cell phone.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I don't know where Romy lives. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
And then your drive Remember this, when you're younger, you
start driving like I've never been to this neighborhood before
you start realizing far away, how am I getting home?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Some people?
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Yeah, I drove a car home one time and never
knew not never, but at the time I drove it home,
did not know really who the owners were. I knew
they were in the car with me, but they were
all smashed and I had to get home. I was
like sixteen years old. And you remember too, how they
would be those parties where like some sixteen year olds
(19:22):
would be at a party with some growing up. It
was like a neighborhood party, so they would be a
mix of people like you shouldn't be there, but also
they don't really know you, so nobody knows you just
a kid. And I remember driving these people home and
dropping them off to where I figured they lived, because
they kept telling me these addresses, like I'm just gonna
get out.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Walk, I know to walk from here.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
And to this day, I mean, I don't know who
those people were. If they throw that car, if we
got in the right car, Miguel in the car, he
in the car worked there. Mcguil google Earth getting the
cars there.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Hey, hey, Miguel, they just gave you some keys and
you would just like, you'll know who car they gonna
found some kids.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
In the living room in the in the fruit bowl.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
They used to have to tell us as kids, hey,
don't hitch hike.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Don't do that like that.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Was because we used to do it.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Magice telling your daughter, hey, girl, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Imagine telling your kids, now, hey, don't hitch hike.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
They'd be like, why would I do that?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You know, I can't tell you. And I grew up
in the projects, so we would go to different house
parties in the projects. But also too, when I was
a kid, we wasn't popping off like that. You was
at the house party. You was happy your parents let
you out to go do something. Now, we wouldn't go
(20:44):
to certain neighborhoods because we didn't mess with them neighborhoods.
But if it was the south Side, the dust Bowl,
the valley, we was cool. Sometimes east Side we might
go there, but we weren't going over to the north
side of Claremont because them dudes hated the south side.
So that's the only house faright, I wouldn't go to.
But the dust Bowl or somewhere in the valley. Oh,
come on, man, you remember do.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
You remember being at a house party hoping nobody realized
you were from a neighborhood Nobody liked yo, it was
girls there, and you like Hey, you're trying to be cool,
and there's always just like everybody else, there's an old
head and he's laughing with you and he's like, oh
that's right, boy, that's why you know good music.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
He no good music?
Speaker 4 (21:22):
You laughing and you're hanging up playing spades, and there's
some girl you're talking to, and then there's just two
dudes whispering looking at you from across the room and they're.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Like, yep, I gotta I gotta go.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
You remember this guy's you remember answering the phone and
the house party wasn't your house phones?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
What's up?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Hey? Yeah, I do not know? Where is you coming over?
Though everybody's here? Hey, hold abok brings some mice. Bring
some mice, Bring some mice.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah, right, raise some ice, man. And then the crazy
thing is when you grew up in the projects. Ain't
no parents watching this. Nope, my mama and them at
the club. So if they at the club, we have
in the club. That's how we did. If my parents
is out at the nightclub, at the Elkslides whatever where
(22:13):
they was gone. Hey, dog ma, mama gonna be gone
at nine. As soon as you see the cutlers pull
off everybody come off through the back door and put
the Humpty Dance on.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah, but you don't why because I grew up in
a generation where they called them blatch key because you
wore your key on a chain on your neck, and
your parents were like you independent, you know, the many
minute you could open the front door on your own.
You know, they had nothing to do with you, and
that was a lifetime. Oh my god, just like my father,
(22:45):
that's like a felony. That was a felony.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
And my mom would act like if I lost my key,
I lost it and somebody found it and knew exactly
where I.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Lived, they were gonna kill it.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
And my dad was just like, you got one responsibility,
and now I get it.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
You're right, pop, I have one responsibility.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
It's literally hanging from my neck and I don't have
anything to do and I lost it. But my mom
would be like, you lost the key. Oh great, we're
all getting murdered now.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yo. I saw somebody post a video like that that
K had lost his kids. Somebody found it and he
was like and then he went to the house. Yo. Man. Yeah, man,
That's why I always loved the movie house party, because
that was that was a nine. That was the nineties
(23:29):
for us. And I really feel bad, fat bad for
these kids because, like my daughter, I have friends over
and then ship posted pictures and they're just sitting there.
I'm like, what do y'all like?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
They're not even playing board games. They're not even playing
board games.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
Like I remember those house parties where it was like
little kid parties and like, hey man, we're gonna stay
up all night.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
We're gonna play clue. I got some fireworks.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Count me in, but they don't. That's not even it.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Now we all do that. I don't like it.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Man.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I catch myself doing it. I'll be at the table
some people and I'll be looking at my and my
phone's on the table. I'm like, why is my phone
on the table? Who is more important than the people
in front of me?
Speaker 4 (24:09):
And Jeff, I try to turn my phone upside down,
that's like my thing. But you know what I do.
Then a few minutes later, I just flip it over
again turned.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I'm like, just keep it. I'm sitting there like it
like it's blackjack. I'm just peeking up.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah. I got to the point where I just leave
mine in my pocket, said, I keep it in my
pocket and I just try to enjoy the moment because
I noticed myself now when I was I'm at a
concert and I'm recording like eat, like the first twenty
seconds of the song, and then I'm like, a week later,
I go my phone full. I'm like, I wouldn't even
(24:46):
go do anything with this Now.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
I'm gonna tell you what's even worse than cell phones
is people who vape, always having their vapor, to the
point where I pulled some girls and then admitted to
holding their vape in the hand during sex. Like you
imagine how like the sexes? I mean, good that vapis
(25:10):
for him. She's like, the better the sex, the more vape.
Like you imagine, how like how how did that affect
yourself esteem? You're just putting it work, and all of
a sudden, this cloud and it smells like blueberries.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
She pig panja in the middle of sex. Man, right, yeah, man,
So somebody got that distracted. When I was, I'd be going, hey,
let me finish on my own. I'm good, I don't.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Need you here. I'd be like, well, I don't need her.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Hey, I'm gonna tell you my foot is well. If
somebody got distracted I messed with somebody and it was
Martin Luther Key birthday true story, and we and we
got the choir storm and then in the middle of
the choast store, they just saw playing I Have a
dream speech and she and she stops. She's like, yo,
can you turn that? I'm like, is it not good?
(25:56):
Like did you notice that she was.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
A white girl?
Speaker 4 (25:59):
You would have been like, this is the tree.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
I was like, first of all, who stops the choir store?
I was like, she was like, can you turn that please?
I'm like yeah. And then I turned to the next
radio station. Hot in Here came home. Well, hot in
Here you want to speech? Get what do you want?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Man? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Bring back the house party. And honestly, it's even if
you go clubbing now, because my mama club late into
her fifties and sixties. But they went to like Elks Lodges. Yeah,
with the Elks Lodges, you know, American Legions and stuff
like that. Where is it for these kids to go now?
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Yeah, they don't want to go. They just live on
that phone. They live in you know, their universes everywhere.
Remember we used to we didn't have the phone. So
if we wanted to know where our friends were. We
had to drive around and find them to go, well,
they might be at this club, or they might be
at this club. Now they know where everything is. Every second,
what you at, what you doing? You know, you don't
(26:59):
respond by in three minutes. I remember it took three
hours to find friends. And that's if you're lucky, that's.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
How you that's how you ended up hanging with some
loser asking because you couldn't find any of your home boys.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Yeah, and there was there was Todd who ate his booger.
He like, what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (27:14):
He's like, I'm just I'm just playing with this dad squirrel.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
You're like, all right, I'm man, I guess that's what
we're doing.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Yeah, man, I'm just poking the squirrel with the stick.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
With you.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I gotta agree with you when you think about it.
We really just kind of had to call each other
old house phone and be like, Yo, I'm gonna be
a so and so is it eight? And then you
get there and be like, wait is yo.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
There ain't a house phone because they had left before you.
And you're going, well, I know they might be here,
and you'd have to like guess what the hot night was?
And and try to think in your head what would
they be thinking? And where are they going? And they
go they were just here, they just left. Oh and
then you and trying to figure out where they go
after that.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, they're gonna be tar because we already killed that squirrel.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Hey he's with a dead squirrel.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
Yeah he may.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
That was their version of scrolling, was poking the dead
squirrel man.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
He said, you kicking with him all day, and you
gotta keep a secret.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Y'all heard you would kill squirrely tide. Now don walking
around walking around looking for y'all.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
He ain't that bad man?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
All right?
Speaker 4 (28:28):
Have that day and molested. I was with Tod, But
but what's all right to chill out?
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Said, we gotta take a commercial break. We'll be right
back where a lawst We were already a one.
Speaker 5 (28:37):
O four point one.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
We're back. We'll last. We're Radio one or four point
one R night cap of comedy Ken Miller and the
Big Chedder Night. Go out and follow us on social
media like follow, Subscribe. James is out on the boat
right now. Join the Versus studio with the Big Homy
mcgil colo Jr. And from the Law Office of Kaufman
and then Andy under Oh podcast and I official sponsor
mister Jeff the Batman Kaufman. What's up, Jeff? You are
(29:22):
talking to me about.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Something, dude, I do.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
I want to talk to you about it. We Ken
as is Ken plus ten show, and you know it's
a big Christmas thing. I go the day before I
go out, you know, buy a bunch of gifts.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
You know.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Ken threatens us the whole time. I'm gonna be there.
I'm gonna be there. I'm getting my I'm getting something
done with my prostate or whatever. But I'm gonna be there.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
I'm gonna be there.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Look at got his cold.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Worked, got the got the mic, got the camera from
both ends, you know, air tighten him. And I'm like,
I'm like, yeah, Ken's.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Gonna be there.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I get there, Kenny there and they say, and he's
got his boys, I mean, he's got his rock stars there,
the date nationwide nationwide comedy tour guys there and they're
they're talking comedy and where McGall and I are in
the room talking about them. I'm going, can't Kenn in here?
And Ken has a rule for me. He goes, Jeff,
don't do new material at the Improv well, I did
(30:12):
two minutes on why Ken wasn't there, and it was
the best material I had all night. I was like, okay,
I guess we're doing this.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
It was it was fun.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I said, Ken plus ten. I said, Ken said he
was sick. He said he was he wasn't feeling right
because he had something stuck in his you know thing.
And I said, I walked to the green room. There
were ten dudes in him and that was okay. That's
why they call it Ken plus ten.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Hey, yo, hows hey. Let me tell you, yeah, bro,
if you ain't never had a codonoscopy, let me tell
you something, bro. As soon as you take the first
sip of that drink, it's own. It's on all night.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
They got Bill Cosby making it up for you a bag.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I hey, just the crazy thing Jeff McGill. So it
changed because at first, when I did it a couple
of years ago, they gave me the whole the gallon
and drink right yeah, and you got to have it
all drinking like an hour and a half. Two hours.
Now they split it so you got to drink the
half gallon the first hour and then six hours later
at two o'clock in the morning you got to drink
(31:22):
another half gallon. You had to drink it the other
half gall of six hours before your procedure. Bro, So
I can't sleep. I had to lay on my side
because my booty hole is so wrong. Bro, this how crazy? Man,
shout out, Hey, if we could ever get another sponsor,
(31:45):
please let it be Dude Wipes. Dude Wipes, save my booty. Bro.
Dude Wipes got that one with the cocoa butter.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Hey man, Hey, was what was the difference between Duty
one and Duty thirty? Because I'm astine. Duty one was consistent.
He made of poop, and dudey thirty, You're like, that's bone, like, man,
that's my bone marrow. It was like dry heaving. It
was like you know, you know how you everything? Like
(32:15):
my stomach was like, hey man, it's something in there.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I said, it ain't.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
You know when you had thirty.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
And then and then you ever had one, you can't eat.
All you can eat is like jello. I had jello.
I had lemon Icys, and you could drink you had to.
You could drink like crystal like and like gatorade. That
was it. Bro. It was terrible. And so when I
got done with it. I would tell the Miguel this
when you had dropped out, Jeff. So, so they did everything.
(32:50):
I had two polyps and they tested negative for cancer,
but they did some more tests. I got to follow
up on Thursday, but I had something called Barrett's esophagus. Well,
you know, the acid reflux is pretty much torn my
sophagas up. So I just got to change my diet,
you know, stuff like that. And I was telling Miguil.
I was like, so I was reading the instructions. I
(33:10):
didn't know I wasn't supposed to drink. Stop drinking a
week before because I was drinking up until like that Tuesday.
I didn't know that. I told Migil. I said, when
I open, when they opened that booty hold up, I
know all that CROWDROI your.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Hey, doctors all litt They were looking at the camera.
There's a grill with Chris standing next to it. It's like,
what the.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Hell's going there?
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Doctor's texting girls, twisting one up.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
I know they was lit. So we get done with it,
and they finally wake me up and it's like, all
you're good, you can have this, this this to eat.
Just no driving all night and no fry foods, I said, school.
So me and Sean go to this place right next
to the hospital. I get like some grilled chicken and
mashed potatoes or something like that. And then I got
(33:57):
a call from Christa. She's like, hey, I need a
feature for Tom Rose tonight, A host and Mike Hurley
he gonna feature, I says, bet and so Sean had
to drive me to the club. So she drives me
to the club, but she goes to see the movie Wicked.
So I'm at the club by myself, me and Chris,
and I wasn't supposed to be drinking. Man, let me
(34:18):
tell you something. That Crown Royer and that anesthesia hit man.
Thank god my wife was there because I would have
drove that thing right. I would have shown that thing
dukes of hazard right after the.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Bro and you look at it. You looked at Chris.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
You'd be like, hey, hey, Chris, in a minute, will
you take us to get some neat player.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
You're driving.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
This?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
How bad it was when I was I just brought
Mike on stage. I said, look, I'm gonna wait till
Mike get done, and I'm gonna have a drink. I
go to the bar Chris like, what's up your arm?
I looked realized I still got the bedd.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
You a crackhead at the bus station trying to get money.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
He's got the hospital band. You ready to go?
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Hey? They got my social owner and I said, Man,
let me take this damn thing off man. But yeah,
Jeff Man, we did not get a chance to talk.
But thank you. Everybody came out and donated. I have
people hit me up to tell me they had such
a good time man, and two organizations that we donated
the choice too. They were super grateful. But I had
(35:26):
to miss out. Bro. If not Jeff, I wouldn't have
been in the green room bathroom every ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Bro, just blearing it.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
But it was fun. It was fun. It was fun.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
It took.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
The sad thing is it took the crowd about two
or three comedians to get into it. So the first
people who went, you know, I think the first people
took the hit for everybody, because I think Miguel who
came on and just let it up. They who they're
like third or four. They said, we got to tune
this up.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
Jarry, Oh, Jarry, Jarry came up and you think they
got slaves with special needs. He's like if old man,
He's like, He's like, I feel bad, but I wouldn't
take them with me on the underground railroad if I
was running away.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
He's a player.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
I want.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I want to take you, but I don't have time
for you to touch every leave.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
You trying to get out of here when you call
and told me that. I was hollering, laughing, Bro Jeff.
Speaker 4 (36:20):
Right after, like literally right after Jarry said that joke,
I ran to the green room and called Ken.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
I was like, Bro, I thought he was calling me
because something was wrong.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I was like, whould have messed.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Up my campus? Tam? He called to tell me the joke?
I'm over them. Yeah, Yeah, that's funny. That's funny. Oh, Jeff,
have you had to call the knas me and those
copies before?
Speaker 5 (36:44):
No?
Speaker 3 (36:44):
I haven't never had you, Old Dad. I'm due, I'm due.
I have I have two. I have two colo guard
boxes in my house that gathering dust.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
That's where the joke comes from.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Yo.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
I just had a little cleaner shrimp up there every
now and then take care of like a coral wreath.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Those little sea monkeys.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I put them little fish in there that clean.
Speaker 4 (37:12):
Yeah, I just I put two snails in the cleaner,
shrimp in a in a in a balloon, swallow it.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
The ballue pops. They clean their way out.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Hey, what's that?
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Well?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
When people put their feet and the fish and the.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
Fish, I spread that thing open.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I go to this, I go to the Kaiva springs.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
I just spread that thing open. Let them detail detail
the foyer.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Oh man, that's what I said. I put some dome
power wash up in there. Let it a little bit,
let it soak for three minutes.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
If you boil off a dunk, did you make?
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Oh my goodness, bro. All I do.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
All I do when I want to clean it out
is I go. I go to UH.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
I go to seven eleven and I buy the hot
dog that looks like it look like a mummy's finger.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
I eat the Mummy.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Figer hot dog, and I'm like, whoa, get ready everything
coming out?
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Broh man.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
But I tell you this, man, because you know this
is my clean eat and no drinking. But I'm gonna
tell you, bro, the fiber look at it.
Speaker 5 (38:17):
Man.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I was to tell them a gil before the show
came on TNT.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
My man, all Bro, I got the regular I'm telling
my really good regular side of dukeie bro.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Kind of put in your pocket for later.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
It's wow, bro, because you know after you drink that whiskey,
you drink alcohol.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
It's like, see, I.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
Ain't got that I got I got to kryptonite. I
got two forms of kryptonite. One is uh, one is god.
I can't even it's fresh made ramen. You know when
they go, well you want the fresh ramen or the
regular ramen. No, I don't know what it is about
that freshly made ramen, but that evacuates my body at
like it's I got a twenty minute countdown. I'm like
I at jalapeno, just the weird two things. Everything else
(39:00):
I'm fine with. But you sneak some halopeno in on me.
I suddenly give you that look like, oh, like you know,
Scooby doot.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Sometimes my dudees are bad. I'm like, did I miscarry?
Like I'm pregnant.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
But I'm telling you, bro, hey man, and I be
real with you. Ben, don't tyry. I know, don't feel
no different. I'm still tired as hell. I don't feel
no different.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Well, I will go ahead.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
It wasn't the butt. They always trying to come with
the way. Well, let's check your booty home. That's not
why I'm tired.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, y'all need to do something else. I
don't know. I got all you could have win in
my nose, my ear, they went right in the butt,
shut lungs, check my ar.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
They got MRIs that break out every vein in your heart,
I mean the tiniest thing. And they still shooting stuff
up your booty. I know they can see it. You know,
the doctors are going, they're still buying this. We just
do this because it's funny for us. I bet that's
you know, cause you got you got just.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Trying to get by, and they're like, hey, play some
work work.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
Hey take here, take the iPhone six and go look
inside of him.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Right have you seen the video? Is this new driving
down the street and he's like, I wonder what that
doctor that worked that MAPS is doing right now? They
looked at my booty hole in nineteen.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
Ninety five, the Asian doctor Yo yo yo son.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
They really was all Asian. Every doctor I had in
the military was a small Asian. Yes.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
The we're saying is when you told me you were
getting this done. I was at the movie theater and
I saw that commercial with the Pixar which it's a
pixel camera and the Apple camera walking down the street,
and I was thinking, that's exactly how what they did
to you. You know, hey Apple a iPhone? Is everything
good with you?
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Walking through my doctor? He old school. He just blew
in it to hear the sound at me.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Wait a sec.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Oh cross, buns cross?
Speaker 2 (41:07):
I said, you playing recorder in it? He said yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
If there's different polyps and soundle bounced differently.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Hey man, he went into a Keeves.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
With it sounds like on the boat, like a boat.
Oh man, fuzz show fuss show man. We got girl
ready to get up out of here. Once again, shout
out to our boy, mister James. James is out on
the cruise ship. So go to his Facebook page. Check
(41:38):
it out and you'll see James our cruising man. Miguel.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Where you at this weekend?
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Brother?
Speaker 4 (41:45):
This weekend January ninth, I got two shows at the
Hollywood Improv in Hollywood, California with David Jolly and Jake Rica,
who my brother. And then on the twenty first, I
will be headlining Chrissy B's show at Craves over there
and Flagler and on the twenty second, I'm doing jazz
and jokes for Brodie Love for a discounted price.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
We'll talk about that later.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
Jazz and Jokes downtown Orlando.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
So that's what I got going on this month.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Cool? Cool, Mr Kauffman, what you got going on?
Speaker 5 (42:16):
Brother?
Speaker 3 (42:16):
I just got my under Oath show on Saturday, looking
to like to bring it back down a little bit
because I've been flying too high in the last couple
of weeks.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Nice, Nice, Hey. This Thursday, I just picked up a gig.
I'll be at the Orlando Funny Barb with David knee Hill.
If you don't know, David Hill is very very funny comedian.
I am at Jazz and Jokes January to fifteen, so
make sure you check me out. I'll give you discounted
tickets too. And me and my dog on the twenty first,
gonna be at Craves.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Hey, that's what start.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
We're gonna be at Craves together on the twenty first, man,
So make sure you check us out. But we got
to get ready to get up out of here. Fun
shows to night, guys. Thank y'all so much. We hope
you had a very very Merry Christmas, in a happy
New Year. New shows the rest of this week mass
make thank you tune then. I'm Kim Miller. That is
Miguel Cologne Jr. That is Jeff the Batman Coughlin from
the Law Office of Coupling in Land and the under
(43:07):
Old Pie Cast. Jeff, do me a favor and tell
these dorks what to do.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Take your eyes to Bett and give me my tomahawk
from Crave.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Good Night,
What's going on, family, you will tune in the real
last We're ready a one or four point one your
night cap of comedy. My name is Kim Miller in
the Big chair tonight. Hey, I'm running the show. I'm
running the show because James is out on the boat
getting his amastot on, working for the White Man. Jame's
gonna be gone with two weeks. Man, James's out on
(00:28):
the cruise ship. I look it up and see what
it is. So if you're our cruising and you see
James John telling real lass missing him and we love him,
and apparently he miss us because he's been texting me
all day, I was like, what plan you got, Like,
you really miss me? Brother? You're gonna pay seventy five
dollars a text message. Bro, you must really miss me.
But shout out to our dog James. But during the
(00:49):
first studio of my comedy Brothers, I'm gonna start up
with the guy who got this thing started, mister Miguil
Coloon Junior, Mgat, what's up, my brother?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
What's up? Man? Happy holidays? Boys holidays?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, man, we're gonna we're gonna get to that next man,
that other man and the studio with us. Look like
he got a backpack on. I don't know if that's
his sweater. I don't know if he jumped. I don't
know if he's going airborne or owners or what if
you haven't flats back. But from the Law Office of Kafflin,
the Land and the under O Podcast and our official sponsor,
mister Jeff the Batman coff. But Jeff, how you doing?
My brother?
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Twenty twenty six? Loving it? I got no complaints. Twenty
twenty five was fun. Now we're gonna turn it up
in twenty twenty six and do some more stuff. I
loved it, loved it. End of the year exactly the
way I started it. Feeling good.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's what I was talking about. And we haven't seen
each other talk to each other in a couple of weeks,
and with this our first show back on the air
for the for the new year. So I gotta ask you,
don't you, mister Miguiel, how was your holidays? My brother?
Speaker 4 (01:46):
They were great, man, they were great. I got to
see the family and hang out. I worked on New Year.
We threw a New Year party, which is always nice.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
I love.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
I'll tell you there's some holidays that you're supposed to
be at a house party and New Year's and four
July or two that I always feel like if you're
at a house party on New Year's and fourth of July,
you get you get exactly what it's supposed to be.
You can have fun a lot of other places. You know,
we've all been out to some like nice fancy thing
in New Year's Like this is great, but it's just
(02:15):
nothing like that house party vibe of New Year's and
Fourth of July because you talking to everybody. I tell
you about time. The great thing about a house party
when you're a young person, especially like in your twenties
versus a club is at a club, if the most
beautiful woman in the world is standing there and I
just like a song, and I'm like, this is a
pretty good song.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Huh.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
She's got to be on defensive mode because there's so
many d bags jazz trying to talk to her. But
you had a house party and it could literally be
Sidney Sweeney taking a break from a movie and she's
standing there.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You like, this is a good song. Huh. She's like
it's a really good song.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Man. Blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Everybody just at a house party, you viabe.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
And if you had a club and you say the
same thing to a girl and she's got a man,
her man rolls up, he looks at you. He's like, hey, man,
is there a problem. You're like, noah, I'm just talking
about the song. If you had a house party and
you're like, this is a good song, she's like, yeah,
my man loves it. He's like, hey, player, I got
the album, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah. And that's how male friendships begin.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Hir Yeah, talking to him. We only talk every couple
of weeks. That's my dog.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Bro. That is facts, Bro, that is one hundred percent facts. Man, Jeff,
how was y'all today?
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Brother?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What you end up doing?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Listening to Miguel's holiday, it sounds it sounds like Trump
pulled his benefits or something. I mean, it sounds like
what you're gonna do? I ain't got no money. When
we go, I'll go to your house, you know, I'll
tell you what I had. I had a New Year's
that if you had no family and you could do
whatever the hell you want, you would have chosen this one.
I mean it was crazy. I went to Diagona Falls
(03:58):
for Christmas God in the day before, then went to Vegas.
The next day went out. I saw Backstreet Boys at
the Sphere. I saw a jelly roll for New Year's
Eve played the Cosmopolitian and there were maybe twenty five
hundred people in that room and he just sang for
an hour and a half through New Year's I felt good.
I had no he was. He was hitting everything. He
(04:21):
was talking about life, talking about all the things we
need to do to make ourselves better. I loved it, man,
I was. I can't tell you a better New Year's
I had. So I feel felt pretty good. I didn't
deal with anybody's issues. You know, I didn't take.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
You Niagara Falls.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I went for four days for Christmas and just did
nothing I had. I went to my two favorite restaurants,
just so I had a buddy show up, you know.
You know when all the traffic went down, you know
I had planned for that. I said, Okay, if it
goes down, I got three or four things I can do.
In Buffalo for about six seven hours, I saw a
search of slaveh show called a movie.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Got one of them buckets down the Falls.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Yeah, yeah, I almost did it. You can do so No, no,
I don't, I don't, I don't choose. I don't choose that.
But yeah, now, now Kevin Miller, you know he did
the family thing, but he was I guarantee he was
in the middle of a show on New.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Year's oh, one hundred percent. For Christmas, Man, we did
the We had Christmas at the house and then we
took our kids to Saint Augustine to see the lights
were rid of you know, you ride of trolley around
Saint Augustine because my wife loves the lights. So we
actually Christmas Eve, we went to Disney Springs because we
always do, you know, go look at those do the
(05:39):
Christmas trees and you gotta do the little Man. Our
pact was that it was stupid pack, bro. It was
stupid pack. It was stupid packed. But we had a
good time with just me and and Sean and Jozzia.
Leyla didn't go. Leayla had rehearsals, and then Christmas we
did our Christmas dan and the day after Christmas Day
we went to Saint Augustine. And then for New Year's
(06:04):
you know, every year, if you guys know, me and
my wife rotate. We do church one year and then
the next year we do comedist. So this year I
got to do stand up at one of my favorite
comedy clubs in Florida, McCurdy's in Sarasota, and it was dope.
But I will say this, man Jeff talking about this
before the show started. The Amateur Knights for drinkers Saint
(06:24):
Patty's Halloween and New Year's Eve. Oh yeah, it is
Amateur Knight, Miguel. It was. So we did a six
thirty show and a nine thirty show. Both shows. The
six thirty shows, somebody was in the front so drunk.
I'm like, you're not even going to make it to
the ball drop. Yeah, man, like this drunk this early.
Speaker 4 (06:43):
Think about this accomplished. They gonna wake up hammered. It's
only eleven or five pm, and they're like, wow, twenty
twenty six. You're like, no player, you got yo.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And then the second show, so they got a bouncer
at mccurty. I love his kid. He ready, he ready
to throw you out. I don't care what he ready.
So the front table was a little chatty, but a
fun chatty. You know, if you go to it. I'm
having fun with them, and I made a joke about
kicking them out, not seriously. Man, Let me tell you.
He ran across the table like the matrix. He said,
(07:20):
y'all need to be quiet, get out. I said, no,
they're fine, they're fine, They're fine. If they were so
upset they didn't even stay for the ball drop, they
ended up leaving. So at eleven thirty I had a
hard stop. They did some raffling, we did the countdown,
and then it was over me and Sean was like, well,
what do you want to do. I said, well, you
know me, I got to go to my favorite place.
(07:40):
This is my last drink for January. And we went
to Corona in Snnesota and actually met the owner of Corona. Wo. Yeah,
met the owner of Corona. I wonder all of them,
all of them, look at that met the owner.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Did you tell me a box?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah? I tell him I had my own locker, my
whole lock and everything. And so we talk about twenty
minutes talking about comedy and everything. And then I did
while I was off June. First, I mean, excuse me,
Jamri First, no comedy. And then the rest of the
weekend I did mccurty's Man. And I keep telling people,
if you in Sarrinsota, go to mccurty's Comedy Club is
(08:18):
it is one of the best independent clubs in the
United States of America. They're so trained, Like I don't
count New Year's Eve because they were drunk. I have
never in my twenty years of working the club ever
had a heckler ever. Ever, he trains them. So what
(08:40):
happens Jeff is he comes out and he does the
owner and his comedy buddy King either one of those
guys hosts. They come out and they do twenty minutes
of CrowdWork, die birthdays out of that, and then when
they're done, they say, all right, y'all done talking. You
talk to me, then'e talking up. Don't talk no more.
(09:00):
And when I tell you, I have never been heckued
at that club.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
You know what I did notice? I noticed one of
our comedy brothers, Ryan Holmes, kept posting about how he
was in Austin, Texas to win the comedy circuit and
he had his name on the list. Yeah, and the Mothership.
I was really happy for him. I was like, I
was like, that was pretty cool, man. You just show
up and they put you on.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
That can't be no, it's lit.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
So that is that's the Mothership open Mic and Cruise Show.
And there's like about maybe about one hundred people who
sign up for the Mothership open Mic and a cruise Show.
But a little shide note, Orlando got a lock on Austin.
I can't walk through Austin without running into like and
I'm not even exaggerating, fifteen twenties of the twenty of
(09:50):
the boys from Town and everybody working somewhere like it
in Austin right now. Man, you could, like if Ken,
if you went to Austin right now, you could probably
hop on six seven shows tonight all over town, hop
on do ten minute spot, and there would be lines
of people like trying to sign up, and they'd be like, sorry, man,
(10:11):
it's sign up.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
You got oh smack, Ken, what up? Dog? I got you?
Speaker 4 (10:14):
You know, like it's our boys make Christoph Jean's at
the mother Ship, Jake Ricker is over at creaking the
Cave all the time. Marvin i Isy's just walking around sad,
you know, like I mean, it's literally bro last time,
no lie, guys, last time I was Austin, I was
at Vulcan and I was in the green room and
(10:36):
it was literally cap right. I think it was cap right,
Christoph Jake Ricker. I just walked in, not even knowing
like they were gonna be there, and it's just it's
like walking. It's it's literally like walking into Milk District,
you know. And that's it's the most prominent city in
comedy right now.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
And or Florida.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
And I mean I'm not exaggerating.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Florida has Austin on locks.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
It's great. It's great.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
It's like Vegas in like the fifties, and we're the
Chicago Mob.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Just because we were open. Everyone else was on vacation
for two years. Yeah, you know, yeah during COVID we
were on so while everyone else was sitting around trying
to figure it out, we were working.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I had a joke I was like the hardest part
about doing comedy and Coffin during COVID was just coughing
away from the mic.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
You know, dude, I'm still at it. Said we were
the Chicago Mob.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Chicago Mob in Vegas, man, that was our town.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That was our town. There's more I run into more, dudes.
It's Philly and Florida.
Speaker 4 (11:37):
That's that's the two biggest, biggest scenes out there that
you run into.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
A really good working comics.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Like, I'm not trying to talk about superstars or just
people who just moved out of Austin to be comics.
But when it comes to the working comics out in
Austin is Florida deep and it's Philly.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I mean, think about it.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
You got David Jolly, Camp bertrand Jake Rica, Christoph gene
Cap right, you had Cam Patterson out there. I'm trying
to think, man, like, this's about ten Off the top
of my head, I could think of Tony Wellings. I mean,
that's just it's packed. It's packed with working comics that
(12:18):
are from our area.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Nice man, congrats to them, dudes, man, because it's hard
to go to another scene and get seen in that scene.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Yeah. I mean like you could be the big fish
in your scene, but then you go somewhere else and
they're like, what I hain't never heard of Orlando. Orlando
got comedy, and.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
We came down with that. We came down with that
raw comedy package. And then when we drove it, we
drove up that comedy package and then we were like, yo,
many they showing them jokes for twenty here, I got,
I got them jokes for fifteen.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know, oh, because it's true. I remember, man, I
went to a festival in Ashville, the Ashvild Comedy Festival,
and it was our was on the Thursday night show
at a brewery and it was four hundred fifty people
in there, and I was number four on the list.
They were like, where you from? Something out of Orlando?
All the LA New York comics, Atlanta comed Nobody's talking
(13:12):
to me. The first three comics, Bomb, I go up
and Slaughter. They were like, Orlando got comedy, y'all, y'all
got it. Like after that, now everybody want to be
my friend. Nobody would talk to me when I told
him I was out of Orlando, because Orlando went nothing
to them. They were looking for New York in LA.
I'm an LA comic, you know what I mean. So yeah,
shout out to Orlando.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I'm happy that they down and running things. Man. That's dope.
That's super dope.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
But we got to get ready to take a commercial break.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Man.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I'm happy you guys had a great holiday. Man, Jeff,
I'm glad you got to enjoy Vegas. Man and Miguel
the house party when we come back. Miguel, I actually
want to bring up house parties. I want to talk
house parties, man, because I had a conversation with my
homeboy about house parties and I was floored at what
he had to say about it. Man, But we gotta
take a quick commercial break. Family right back, were last.
(14:04):
We're a Radio one oh four point one. We're back.
(14:27):
We're last. We're Radio one or four point one. Your night,
Capital Comedy. My name is Kim Millan and the chair tonight.
God do us a fav God to social media like, subscribe, follow, comment,
do all that We're appreciated. Shut out to Jane Jane.
John is out on the boat tonight. So I am
running the show and I'm joining the virtual studio with
the big homie Miguel Cologne Junior and from the law
officers of Coauflin and Lynd mister Jeff the Batman Kaufman.
(14:50):
So Miguel was talking about for New Year Eve that
one of the best places to be is a house party.
I was having this conversation with one of my partner
who's about ten years younger than me, and I was like, Bro,
you don't understand a house party. I don't, I mean,
like a how like you at the party is music,
is drinking and you dancing. He like like, y'all. Like
(15:14):
I was like, bro, like club dancing like not like hey, No,
everybody is in the middle of the living room, front
of your moved. You got the people in the kitchen,
you got living room. You might have some people in
the back patio if they got a backyard with something
going on, but you are dancing. There wasn't no no sitting,
no talking. There was. He was out there grinding, bro,
(15:35):
and he was like, dog, y'all, we need to do
that again. I said, man, it can't be recreated.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
They can't. They can't get off this. You can't dance
with your phone. You know, you too busy check checking
your Instagram while you're while you're on the dance floor.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
Caring and caring about pictures and stuff. No, that was
just naturally.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Everyone's got the phone out. It's a concert too. I
was watching Jelly Roller. Man, everyone's got their phone over there.
I'm like, dude, watch the show, you know, enjoy what's
going on. But they can't do it. I used to
have house parties at my house every year for New
Year's for like six years, and I was working part
time at Disney at the time, and they scheduled me
(16:15):
to work in the park that night and they were like,
if you if you passed on that night, you know,
they fired your ass. And I was literally got out
of the park at like eleven twenty and I'm running
to my own party, yeah, twelve before it came out,
and that's you know, and everyone was having a good time.
I mean, jeez, I was glad.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I was glad.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
I hooked everybody up. But that's fun. But you don't
want to be the one throwing the party. That's the problem.
You know, you're in charge of the alcohol. You're in
charge of everybody leaving. You know, you feel bad when
everyone's drunk and you're going, no, you can't leave, and
you go, well, I don't want you to stay.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
But I didn't even like that.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
I'm like, go get in your car and ride, you know,
get home.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Hey, hey, I saw Meme the other day saying I
know I'm getting old. I called the police on my
own party because I was ready to go to be.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yay. You see.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
You see got the story about maybe like twenty years
ago when he was throwing his house party and it
got out of control and there was like a thousand people.
And he lives in a regular neighborhood over by UC
had a regular four bedroom house. There was like a
thousand people, and he said neighbors were outside their house,
like on the phone with the cops.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
People were just walking everywhere.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
And he said, to the point where the cops showed
up and him and his roommates just packed up bags
and left their own house. They abandoned their own house.
It's like getting the house, he goes. He went to
his room to go pack up his bag, and there
was like five or six people he don't even know,
just sitting in there chilling.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And he was like, I'm out. I'm out.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Y'all can have it. Y'all can have death. Hilare is
bro Now I'm not. My wife's My wife loves to
throw parties. My wife loves company, loves party, loves decorating,
loves people over. And then I got to the point
where I'm cool with it too because I get to cook,
and I like cook it. So if I get to
put some something on the smoker or fry some chicken,
(18:00):
and then people get to come over and I get
to drink and smoke some cigars, so cause that's kind
of my new house party now if you're coming over now,
it's it's kind of mellow drinking and smoking. But we're
also older. But I was telling my partner Isaiah, you
can't recreate that that nostalgia we had in the nineties
of house party. And because y'all don't party.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, yeah, they don't. They don't wild out.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Like this sounds dumb, and maybe I'm glad they don't
do this anymore. But like, I remember just being somewhere
and seeing some people I kind of vaguely knew from somewhere,
and you're just talking to me, like what are y'all
getting into? Like, oh, we're gonna go to Romy's party.
Romi who Romie from down the way? I can ride
with you. Yeah, And now I'm in the car with
(18:46):
people I don't really know going through it and I
don't have a cell phone.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I don't know where Romy lives. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
And then your drive Remember this, when you're younger, you
start driving like I've never been to this neighborhood before
you start realizing far away, how am I getting home?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Some people?
Speaker 4 (19:01):
Yeah, I drove a car home one time and never
knew not never, but at the time I drove it home,
did not know really who the owners were. I knew
they were in the car with me, but they were
all smashed and I had to get home. I was
like sixteen years old. And you remember too, how they
would be those parties where like some sixteen year olds
(19:22):
would be at a party with some growing up. It
was like a neighborhood party, so they would be a
mix of people like you shouldn't be there, but also
they don't really know you, so nobody knows you just
a kid. And I remember driving these people home and
dropping them off to where I figured they lived, because
they kept telling me these addresses, like I'm just gonna
get out.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Walk, I know to walk from here.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
And to this day, I mean, I don't know who
those people were. If they throw that car, if we
got in the right car, Miguel in the car, he
in the car worked there. Mcguil google Earth getting the
cars there.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Hey, hey, Miguel, they just gave you some keys and
you would just like, you'll know who car they gonna
found some kids.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
In the living room in the in the fruit bowl.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
They used to have to tell us as kids, hey,
don't hitch hike.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Don't do that like that.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Was because we used to do it.
Speaker 4 (20:13):
Magice telling your daughter, hey, girl, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Imagine telling your kids, now, hey, don't hitch hike.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
They'd be like, why would I do that?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You know, I can't tell you. And I grew up
in the projects, so we would go to different house
parties in the projects. But also too, when I was
a kid, we wasn't popping off like that. You was
at the house party. You was happy your parents let
you out to go do something. Now, we wouldn't go
(20:44):
to certain neighborhoods because we didn't mess with them neighborhoods.
But if it was the south Side, the dust Bowl,
the valley, we was cool. Sometimes east Side we might
go there, but we weren't going over to the north
side of Claremont because them dudes hated the south side.
So that's the only house faright, I wouldn't go to.
But the dust Bowl or somewhere in the valley. Oh,
come on, man, you remember do.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
You remember being at a house party hoping nobody realized
you were from a neighborhood Nobody liked yo, it was
girls there, and you like Hey, you're trying to be cool,
and there's always just like everybody else, there's an old
head and he's laughing with you and he's like, oh
that's right, boy, that's why you know good music.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
He no good music?
Speaker 4 (21:22):
You laughing and you're hanging up playing spades, and there's
some girl you're talking to, and then there's just two
dudes whispering looking at you from across the room and they're.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Like, yep, I gotta I gotta go.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
You remember this guy's you remember answering the phone and
the house party wasn't your house phones?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
What's up?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Hey? Yeah, I do not know? Where is you coming over?
Though everybody's here? Hey, hold abok brings some mice. Bring
some mice, Bring some mice.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah, right, raise some ice, man. And then the crazy
thing is when you grew up in the projects. Ain't
no parents watching this. Nope, my mama and them at
the club. So if they at the club, we have
in the club. That's how we did. If my parents
is out at the nightclub, at the Elkslides whatever where
(22:13):
they was gone. Hey, dog ma, mama gonna be gone
at nine. As soon as you see the cutlers pull
off everybody come off through the back door and put
the Humpty Dance on.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah, but you don't why because I grew up in
a generation where they called them blatch key because you
wore your key on a chain on your neck, and
your parents were like you independent, you know, the many
minute you could open the front door on your own.
You know, they had nothing to do with you, and
that was a lifetime. Oh my god, just like my father,
(22:45):
that's like a felony. That was a felony.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
And my mom would act like if I lost my key,
I lost it and somebody found it and knew exactly
where I.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Lived, they were gonna kill it.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
And my dad was just like, you got one responsibility,
and now I get it.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
You're right, pop, I have one responsibility.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
It's literally hanging from my neck and I don't have
anything to do and I lost it. But my mom
would be like, you lost the key. Oh great, we're
all getting murdered now.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Yo. I saw somebody post a video like that that
K had lost his kids. Somebody found it and he
was like and then he went to the house. Yo. Man. Yeah, man,
That's why I always loved the movie house party, because
that was that was a nine. That was the nineties
(23:29):
for us. And I really feel bad, fat bad for
these kids because, like my daughter, I have friends over
and then ship posted pictures and they're just sitting there.
I'm like, what do y'all like?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
They're not even playing board games. They're not even playing
board games.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
Like I remember those house parties where it was like
little kid parties and like, hey man, we're gonna stay
up all night.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
We're gonna play clue. I got some fireworks.
Speaker 4 (23:53):
Count me in, but they don't. That's not even it.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Now we all do that. I don't like it.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Man.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I catch myself doing it. I'll be at the table
some people and I'll be looking at my and my
phone's on the table. I'm like, why is my phone
on the table? Who is more important than the people
in front of me?
Speaker 4 (24:09):
And Jeff, I try to turn my phone upside down,
that's like my thing. But you know what I do.
Then a few minutes later, I just flip it over
again turned.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I'm like, just keep it. I'm sitting there like it
like it's blackjack. I'm just peeking up.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah. I got to the point where I just leave
mine in my pocket, said, I keep it in my
pocket and I just try to enjoy the moment because
I noticed myself now when I was I'm at a
concert and I'm recording like eat, like the first twenty
seconds of the song, and then I'm like, a week later,
I go my phone full. I'm like, I wouldn't even
(24:46):
go do anything with this Now.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
I'm gonna tell you what's even worse than cell phones
is people who vape, always having their vapor, to the
point where I pulled some girls and then admitted to
holding their vape in the hand during sex. Like you
imagine how like the sexes? I mean, good that vapis
(25:10):
for him. She's like, the better the sex, the more vape.
Like you imagine, how like how how did that affect
yourself esteem? You're just putting it work, and all of
a sudden, this cloud and it smells like blueberries.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
She pig panja in the middle of sex. Man, right, yeah, man,
So somebody got that distracted. When I was, I'd be going, hey,
let me finish on my own. I'm good, I don't.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Need you here. I'd be like, well, I don't need her.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Hey, I'm gonna tell you my foot is well. If
somebody got distracted I messed with somebody and it was
Martin Luther Key birthday true story, and we and we
got the choir storm and then in the middle of
the choast store, they just saw playing I Have a
dream speech and she and she stops. She's like, yo,
can you turn that? I'm like, is it not good?
(25:56):
Like did you notice that she was.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
A white girl?
Speaker 4 (25:59):
You would have been like, this is the tree.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
I was like, first of all, who stops the choir store?
I was like, she was like, can you turn that please?
I'm like yeah. And then I turned to the next
radio station. Hot in Here came home. Well, hot in
Here you want to speech? Get what do you want?
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Man? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Bring back the house party. And honestly, it's even if
you go clubbing now, because my mama club late into
her fifties and sixties. But they went to like Elks Lodges. Yeah,
with the Elks Lodges, you know, American Legions and stuff
like that. Where is it for these kids to go now?
Speaker 3 (26:38):
Yeah, they don't want to go. They just live on
that phone. They live in you know, their universes everywhere.
Remember we used to we didn't have the phone. So
if we wanted to know where our friends were. We
had to drive around and find them to go, well,
they might be at this club, or they might be
at this club. Now they know where everything is. Every second,
what you at, what you doing? You know, you don't
(26:59):
respond by in three minutes. I remember it took three
hours to find friends. And that's if you're lucky, that's.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
How you that's how you ended up hanging with some
loser asking because you couldn't find any of your home boys.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Yeah, and there was there was Todd who ate his booger.
He like, what are you doing?
Speaker 4 (27:14):
He's like, I'm just I'm just playing with this dad squirrel.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
You're like, all right, I'm man, I guess that's what
we're doing.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Yeah, man, I'm just poking the squirrel with the stick.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
With you.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I gotta agree with you when you think about it.
We really just kind of had to call each other
old house phone and be like, Yo, I'm gonna be
a so and so is it eight? And then you
get there and be like, wait is yo.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
There ain't a house phone because they had left before you.
And you're going, well, I know they might be here,
and you'd have to like guess what the hot night was?
And and try to think in your head what would
they be thinking? And where are they going? And they
go they were just here, they just left. Oh and
then you and trying to figure out where they go
after that.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, they're gonna be tar because we already killed that squirrel.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Hey he's with a dead squirrel.
Speaker 5 (28:07):
Yeah he may.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
That was their version of scrolling, was poking the dead
squirrel man.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
He said, you kicking with him all day, and you
gotta keep a secret.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Y'all heard you would kill squirrely tide. Now don walking
around walking around looking for y'all.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
He ain't that bad man?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
All right?
Speaker 4 (28:28):
Have that day and molested. I was with Tod, But
but what's all right to chill out?
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Said, we gotta take a commercial break. We'll be right
back where a lawst We were already a one.
Speaker 5 (28:37):
O four point one.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
We're back. We'll last. We're Radio one or four point
one R night cap of comedy Ken Miller and the
Big Chedder Night. Go out and follow us on social
media like follow, Subscribe. James is out on the boat
right now. Join the Versus studio with the Big Homy
mcgil colo Jr. And from the Law Office of Kaufman
and then Andy under Oh podcast and I official sponsor
mister Jeff the Batman Kaufman. What's up, Jeff? You are
(29:22):
talking to me about.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Something, dude, I do.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
I want to talk to you about it. We Ken
as is Ken plus ten show, and you know it's
a big Christmas thing. I go the day before I
go out, you know, buy a bunch of gifts.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
You know.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Ken threatens us the whole time. I'm gonna be there.
I'm gonna be there. I'm getting my I'm getting something
done with my prostate or whatever. But I'm gonna be there.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
I'm gonna be there.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Look at got his cold.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Worked, got the got the mic, got the camera from
both ends, you know, air tighten him. And I'm like,
I'm like, yeah, Ken's.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Gonna be there.
Speaker 3 (29:51):
I get there, Kenny there and they say, and he's
got his boys, I mean, he's got his rock stars there,
the date nationwide nationwide comedy tour guys there and they're
they're talking comedy and where McGall and I are in
the room talking about them. I'm going, can't Kenn in here?
And Ken has a rule for me. He goes, Jeff,
don't do new material at the Improv well, I did
(30:12):
two minutes on why Ken wasn't there, and it was
the best material I had all night. I was like, okay,
I guess we're doing this.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
It was it was fun.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
I said, Ken plus ten. I said, Ken said he
was sick. He said he was he wasn't feeling right
because he had something stuck in his you know thing.
And I said, I walked to the green room. There
were ten dudes in him and that was okay. That's
why they call it Ken plus ten.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Hey, yo, hows hey. Let me tell you, yeah, bro,
if you ain't never had a codonoscopy, let me tell
you something, bro. As soon as you take the first
sip of that drink, it's own. It's on all night.
Speaker 4 (30:55):
They got Bill Cosby making it up for you a bag.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
I hey, just the crazy thing Jeff McGill. So it
changed because at first, when I did it a couple
of years ago, they gave me the whole the gallon
and drink right yeah, and you got to have it
all drinking like an hour and a half. Two hours.
Now they split it so you got to drink the
half gallon the first hour and then six hours later
at two o'clock in the morning you got to drink
(31:22):
another half gallon. You had to drink it the other
half gall of six hours before your procedure. Bro, So
I can't sleep. I had to lay on my side
because my booty hole is so wrong. Bro, this how crazy? Man,
shout out, Hey, if we could ever get another sponsor,
(31:45):
please let it be Dude Wipes. Dude Wipes, save my booty. Bro.
Dude Wipes got that one with the cocoa butter.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Hey man, Hey, was what was the difference between Duty
one and Duty thirty? Because I'm astine. Duty one was consistent.
He made of poop, and dudey thirty, You're like, that's bone, like, man,
that's my bone marrow. It was like dry heaving. It
was like you know, you know how you everything? Like
(32:15):
my stomach was like, hey man, it's something in there.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
I said, it ain't.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
You know when you had thirty.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
And then and then you ever had one, you can't eat.
All you can eat is like jello. I had jello.
I had lemon Icys, and you could drink you had to.
You could drink like crystal like and like gatorade. That
was it. Bro. It was terrible. And so when I
got done with it. I would tell the Miguel this
when you had dropped out, Jeff. So, so they did everything.
(32:50):
I had two polyps and they tested negative for cancer,
but they did some more tests. I got to follow
up on Thursday, but I had something called Barrett's esophagus. Well,
you know, the acid reflux is pretty much torn my
sophagas up. So I just got to change my diet,
you know, stuff like that. And I was telling Miguil.
I was like, so I was reading the instructions. I
(33:10):
didn't know I wasn't supposed to drink. Stop drinking a
week before because I was drinking up until like that Tuesday.
I didn't know that. I told Migil. I said, when
I open, when they opened that booty hold up, I
know all that CROWDROI your.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Hey, doctors all litt They were looking at the camera.
There's a grill with Chris standing next to it. It's like,
what the.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Hell's going there?
Speaker 4 (33:33):
Doctor's texting girls, twisting one up.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
I know they was lit. So we get done with it,
and they finally wake me up and it's like, all
you're good, you can have this, this this to eat.
Just no driving all night and no fry foods, I said, school.
So me and Sean go to this place right next
to the hospital. I get like some grilled chicken and
mashed potatoes or something like that. And then I got
(33:57):
a call from Christa. She's like, hey, I need a
feature for Tom Rose tonight, A host and Mike Hurley
he gonna feature, I says, bet and so Sean had
to drive me to the club. So she drives me
to the club, but she goes to see the movie Wicked.
So I'm at the club by myself, me and Chris,
and I wasn't supposed to be drinking. Man, let me
(34:18):
tell you something. That Crown Royer and that anesthesia hit man.
Thank god my wife was there because I would have
drove that thing right. I would have shown that thing
dukes of hazard right after the.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Bro and you look at it. You looked at Chris.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
You'd be like, hey, hey, Chris, in a minute, will
you take us to get some neat player.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
You're driving.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
This?
Speaker 1 (34:44):
How bad it was when I was I just brought
Mike on stage. I said, look, I'm gonna wait till
Mike get done, and I'm gonna have a drink. I
go to the bar Chris like, what's up your arm?
I looked realized I still got the bedd.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
You a crackhead at the bus station trying to get money.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
He's got the hospital band. You ready to go?
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Hey? They got my social owner and I said, Man,
let me take this damn thing off man. But yeah,
Jeff Man, we did not get a chance to talk.
But thank you. Everybody came out and donated. I have
people hit me up to tell me they had such
a good time man, and two organizations that we donated
the choice too. They were super grateful. But I had
(35:26):
to miss out. Bro. If not Jeff, I wouldn't have
been in the green room bathroom every ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Bro, just blearing it.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
But it was fun. It was fun. It was fun.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
It took.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
The sad thing is it took the crowd about two
or three comedians to get into it. So the first
people who went, you know, I think the first people
took the hit for everybody, because I think Miguel who
came on and just let it up. They who they're
like third or four. They said, we got to tune
this up.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
Jarry, Oh, Jarry, Jarry came up and you think they
got slaves with special needs. He's like if old man,
He's like, He's like, I feel bad, but I wouldn't
take them with me on the underground railroad if I
was running away.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
He's a player.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
I want.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
I want to take you, but I don't have time
for you to touch every leave.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
You trying to get out of here when you call
and told me that. I was hollering, laughing, Bro Jeff.
Speaker 4 (36:20):
Right after, like literally right after Jarry said that joke,
I ran to the green room and called Ken.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
I was like, Bro, I thought he was calling me
because something was wrong.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I was like, whould have messed.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Up my campus? Tam? He called to tell me the joke?
I'm over them. Yeah, Yeah, that's funny. That's funny. Oh, Jeff,
have you had to call the knas me and those
copies before?
Speaker 5 (36:44):
No?
Speaker 3 (36:44):
I haven't never had you, Old Dad. I'm due, I'm due.
I have I have two. I have two colo guard
boxes in my house that gathering dust.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
That's where the joke comes from.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Yo.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
I just had a little cleaner shrimp up there every
now and then take care of like a coral wreath.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Those little sea monkeys.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I put them little fish in there that clean.
Speaker 4 (37:12):
Yeah, I just I put two snails in the cleaner,
shrimp in a in a in a balloon, swallow it.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
The ballue pops. They clean their way out.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Hey, what's that?
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Well?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
When people put their feet and the fish and the.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
Fish, I spread that thing open.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I go to this, I go to the Kaiva springs.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
I just spread that thing open. Let them detail detail
the foyer.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Oh man, that's what I said. I put some dome
power wash up in there. Let it a little bit,
let it soak for three minutes.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
If you boil off a dunk, did you make?
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Oh my goodness, bro. All I do.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
All I do when I want to clean it out
is I go. I go to UH.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
I go to seven eleven and I buy the hot
dog that looks like it look like a mummy's finger.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
I eat the Mummy.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Figer hot dog, and I'm like, whoa, get ready everything
coming out?
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Broh man.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
But I tell you this, man, because you know this
is my clean eat and no drinking. But I'm gonna
tell you, bro, the fiber look at it.
Speaker 5 (38:17):
Man.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
I was to tell them a gil before the show
came on TNT.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
My man, all Bro, I got the regular I'm telling
my really good regular side of dukeie bro.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Kind of put in your pocket for later.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
It's wow, bro, because you know after you drink that whiskey,
you drink alcohol.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
It's like, see, I.
Speaker 3 (38:37):
Ain't got that I got I got to kryptonite. I
got two forms of kryptonite. One is uh, one is god.
I can't even it's fresh made ramen. You know when
they go, well you want the fresh ramen or the
regular ramen. No, I don't know what it is about
that freshly made ramen, but that evacuates my body at
like it's I got a twenty minute countdown. I'm like
I at jalapeno, just the weird two things. Everything else
(39:00):
I'm fine with. But you sneak some halopeno in on me.
I suddenly give you that look like, oh, like you know,
Scooby doot.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Sometimes my dudees are bad. I'm like, did I miscarry?
Like I'm pregnant.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
But I'm telling you, bro, hey man, and I be
real with you. Ben, don't tyry. I know, don't feel
no different. I'm still tired as hell. I don't feel
no different.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Well, I will go ahead.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
It wasn't the butt. They always trying to come with
the way. Well, let's check your booty home. That's not
why I'm tired.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, y'all need to do something else. I
don't know. I got all you could have win in
my nose, my ear, they went right in the butt,
shut lungs, check my ar.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
They got MRIs that break out every vein in your heart,
I mean the tiniest thing. And they still shooting stuff
up your booty. I know they can see it. You know,
the doctors are going, they're still buying this. We just
do this because it's funny for us. I bet that's
you know, cause you got you got just.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
Trying to get by, and they're like, hey, play some
work work.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
Hey take here, take the iPhone six and go look
inside of him.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Right have you seen the video? Is this new driving
down the street and he's like, I wonder what that
doctor that worked that MAPS is doing right now? They
looked at my booty hole in nineteen.
Speaker 4 (40:21):
Ninety five, the Asian doctor Yo yo yo son.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
They really was all Asian. Every doctor I had in
the military was a small Asian. Yes.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
The we're saying is when you told me you were
getting this done. I was at the movie theater and
I saw that commercial with the Pixar which it's a
pixel camera and the Apple camera walking down the street,
and I was thinking, that's exactly how what they did
to you. You know, hey Apple a iPhone? Is everything
good with you?
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Walking through my doctor? He old school. He just blew
in it to hear the sound at me.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Wait a sec.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Oh cross, buns cross?
Speaker 2 (41:07):
I said, you playing recorder in it? He said yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:09):
If there's different polyps and soundle bounced differently.
Speaker 2 (41:13):
Hey man, he went into a Keeves.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
With it sounds like on the boat, like a boat.
Oh man, fuzz show fuss show man. We got girl
ready to get up out of here. Once again, shout
out to our boy, mister James. James is out on
the cruise ship. So go to his Facebook page. Check
(41:38):
it out and you'll see James our cruising man. Miguel.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Where you at this weekend?
Speaker 1 (41:42):
Brother?
Speaker 4 (41:45):
This weekend January ninth, I got two shows at the
Hollywood Improv in Hollywood, California with David Jolly and Jake Rica,
who my brother. And then on the twenty first, I
will be headlining Chrissy B's show at Craves over there
and Flagler and on the twenty second, I'm doing jazz
and jokes for Brodie Love for a discounted price.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
We'll talk about that later.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
Jazz and Jokes downtown Orlando.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
So that's what I got going on this month.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Cool? Cool, Mr Kauffman, what you got going on?
Speaker 5 (42:16):
Brother?
Speaker 3 (42:16):
I just got my under Oath show on Saturday, looking
to like to bring it back down a little bit
because I've been flying too high in the last couple
of weeks.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Nice, Nice, Hey. This Thursday, I just picked up a gig.
I'll be at the Orlando Funny Barb with David knee Hill.
If you don't know, David Hill is very very funny comedian.
I am at Jazz and Jokes January to fifteen, so
make sure you check me out. I'll give you discounted
tickets too. And me and my dog on the twenty first,
gonna be at Craves.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Hey, that's what start.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
We're gonna be at Craves together on the twenty first, man,
So make sure you check us out. But we got
to get ready to get up out of here. Fun
shows to night, guys. Thank y'all so much. We hope
you had a very very Merry Christmas, in a happy
New Year. New shows the rest of this week mass
make thank you tune then. I'm Kim Miller. That is
Miguel Cologne Jr. That is Jeff the Batman Coughlin from
the Law Office of Coupling in Land and the under
(43:07):
Old Pie Cast. Jeff, do me a favor and tell
these dorks what to do.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Take your eyes to Bett and give me my tomahawk
from Crave.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Good Night,
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