Elis James and John Robins

Today we ask the question: what would a world without Dave look like? A Daveless world. Imagine a sliding doors moment where a sterner producer was given the reins in 2014. Fast forward to late 2025 and in the studio, almost certainly, Elis would still be eating or have forgotten to come in. John would have vape hot boxed himself into a coma. Do not underestimate his impact.

No Dave and no wise words of “Be careful Elis” after one p...

What does an already packed show need to make it feel complete? That’s right, it’s an 8 minute intro (or just under a 5th of an Edinburgh show...) and an 8 minute Noel Edmonds apologia. This show is nothing if not disciplined.

Once we’re all intro’ed and up-to-date on the elements of Edmonds, it’s content content content. John does some winning and losing, Elis does some Cymru Connecting, and everyone plays a great Made Up Game that...

Oil rises to the top of the content liquid again, primarily because of its lower density. It’s hard to remove as we know, so there’s a slick across the episode clogging our feathers.

So what are your oils? More importantly, what are Adrian’s oils? And will John insist on going through all the smoke points of all the oils? Questions that are all answered within.

Plus, Elis has got deep into a karaoke hell cubicle, Producer Dave’s left...

With something being filmed just outside the studio we’re lucky Elis and John made it in for today’s episode. John was very nearly accosted to fill the leading role, and Elis was just about able to peel his eyes away from potential live blunders. Thank goodness for the boys’ dedication to #content.

Away from the glitz and glamour of a film set, Elis and Dave have both been battling with bed bugs, one with a more incendiary technique...

John has had enough of apologies. He wants action and results. Combine that with John being notified about every business expense, and you get a very scared Elis and Dave.

But sometimes it’s fear that instils results - or more importantly top quality content. This is how Sir Alex would want it.

Meanwhile the more be-thighed of the two has had enough of clouds. He doesn’t ever want to look down at them again - something which would un...

As John returns from yet another triumphant, nay groundbreaking eye-climbing tour of the Alps, there are a few questions on everybody’s lips: What records did he break this time? Was he able to stick to the confusing speed limits of Swiss roads? And more importantly, what would the future of the BBC look like under the tutelage of the great eye-climber himself, Johnny JR?

Wins are totted up, losses are struck off, and a new future ...

It’s a big big week. No phoning it in this time. No no, as this is the most politically significant balanced podcast in the UK.

Finally, the call of the nation has been answered. John Robins has been in the corridors of power. If you notice general efficiency being raised by 0.12% in UK PLC this week then you have one man to thank - external factors notwithstanding.

He brought up the economy. He brought up the welfare state. He broug...

Elis and John are joined by the UK’s ‘most confusing prospect’, aka Tom Rosenthal, to talk affairs, internet fads and conspiracy theories. We also learn what their respective approaches to golf can teach us about John (The James Milner of golf) and Tom (The Diego Maradona of golf).

Elsewhere there are revelations and tears in the Cymru Connection, and a Made Up Game that tests just how much Elis and John know each other. Oh, and Eli...

Are Elis and John’s stars in the ascendant? Are we on the edge of James and Robins becoming household names? Can you imagine John staring down the camera and gleefully shouting ‘Keep Dancing’?

These questions and more are explored as Elis and John put forward their cases to be the next presenters of the BBC’s flagship entertainment show, Strictly Come Dancing.

Elsewhere it’s pure Zeitgeist chat (or should we say Zeitgeest thanks to J...

After a frantic morning of plucking and preening, Elis and John are confronted with the beautiful sight of Greg James. Eyelashes are fluttered, beauty tips are garnered, and in a wonderful showing of modern masculinity, four men chat about their hair care routines. And before he can go, Greg’s radio credentials are put to the test in a classic Made Up Game from the vault.

Swooning fanfares aside, John introduces Elis to the world of...

Strap in folks, it’s time for some more Wordle chat! You thought we were done with it? No sir, we, well John, has only just got started. But luckily this is X-rated Wordle chat. Sexy content which really spices up the barrel-scraping etymological discussions.

In other happenings, can you explain the Richter scale to a child when at the football? There’s also a week of many wins and losses involving sobriety, aniseed and free coats. ...

Today we celebrate one of Wales’s finest exports; the Cymru Connector himself, Mr ‘Where-Did-You-Go-To-School’, the one and only Elis James! Yes it’s Elis’s birthday, and he kicks off the show by doing what all 45 year olds do: rapping.

After receiving a gift from John that is so thoughtful it almost derails the recording, Elis takes part in an eventful birthday Cymru Connection. Tempers flare, passions erupt, and objects go flying...

It’s the annual spooky episode and that means it’s as spooky as any other podcast episode we ever release.

In a nice chatty ep shooting the breeze Elis and John uncover the layers of a man who continues to fascinate them: Bell Tower Crispin. But is Dave flouting BBC balance regulations in order to get more great Halloween activities and free car charging?

Meanwhile in mouse towers Elis is being inundated with rodents from his super ...

What’s it like to share a bank account with John Robins? Austerity Robins: a notification to his device every single time you make a purchase, no matter how small. Well we find out because nothing can get past him, with, in his own words “notifications echoing through his empty life.”

Extraordinary scenes today as Dave got chatted up on the way in to the studio. Was it a student prank? Elis’s experiences suggest otherwise...

Elsewher...

The UK’s motorways are now one tour bus quieter. Which perversely probably makes the roads noisier given John’s silent approach whilst inhabiting the Sad Van.

And what celebrations happened at the post-tour party at The Palladium? Debauchery and several kilos of Producer Dave's favourite over the counter pharmaceuticals? Not quite. Rather it was a media bigwig zone and John now has regrets about talking extensively about red tape to...

Confidence is the word of the day, with differing meanings for both of our heroes. Does John have enough of the stuff to go through with his edgy scripted intro? Is Elis sufficiently supplied to make his 5th Cymru Connection in a row? It’s all to play for, and play we must.

The other word on everyone’s lips is farewell, as the boys bid adieu to the Sad Van. She’s taken out for one last outing as Elis and John’s Road to Nowhere final...

We’re at a crossroads. A vape crossroads. For the dual forces of quicker marathon times and health effects are coming together to fight against the temptations of fruity mist. And John must make a choice.

Elsewhere it’s a show of rare beasts: Elis takes it upon himself to get in the grill of a listener and do the sacking, and we dole out a good radio bell for a listener. Is that a first?

Plus, John’s decided he can’t keep working wit...

What’s the best way to round off 39 hours of no sleep? Invite 7 young girls round for your daughter’s birthday sleepover, that’s how! Were there tears? Of course! Did said tears belong to Elis or the kids? Listen to find out.

Elsewhere we’re answering the question, ‘is mid-October too early to be talking about Christmas?’ Not in these parts it ain’t, as Elis makes a startling claim about Irish wishlists and John questions the role S...

This show has been many things, but right now this a cockles podcast. Elis’s homecoming show in Swansea was very much tied to whether he could get cockles at breakfast which sets us off on a cockle rollercoaster. But will Dave like them?

There’s also a very intense Ask Us Anything, and a 1.5 times playing of the jingle. Plus, what meat would you eat betwixt the sheets?

elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp to tell us you...