Jack Took A Spill While Hiking... Actually 9 Spills

Jack went for a hike with his sons over the weekend and it didn't go as planned. He will now have to pay them if he ever wants them to go hiking again. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I wanted to do something on Memorial Day, family wise,
just something. I came up with the idea of a
hike weather it was gonna be glorious. I didn't even
remember that my kids have never been on an official hike.
I mean we've gone camping and done various things and walked,
but not like you look up a hiking trail. It's
X miles long. You bring a backpack with water and
sunscreen and all that sort of stuff. So I picked

(00:21):
a hike, and I didn't want one that was too easy,
because I've been on a number of hikes in my life.
They were just too freaking easy, especially if you're a
thirteen year old boy and eleven year old boy with
lots of energy. They're like a big, clear, flat path.
Sometimes they're even paved, and it's a walk. It's a walk.
It's a walk. It's just a step above a mall walk.
It's a mall walk with a nice review, which is fine.

(00:42):
It has its place, I'll put The average age of
hikers is on the older end, Like my mom and
dad do a lot of walking over there, so they
I think they cater to that crowd a lot, which
is fine, But I wanted something more challenging than I
didn't want to like free free climb Youosemite or something
like that, but I wanted a little more challenging. Man. Well,

(01:02):
I overshot by a lot. And I've done a fair
amount of hiking in my life. This was the most
grueling hike I've ever been on. And it wasn't a
good introduction for the first hike, partially because all of
the little bridges that took you apart across, like ravines
and creeks and stuff like that, were burnt out in
the big fires in California, and so now you had

(01:23):
to just find a way to traverse.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
It on foot.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Oh and it was relatively difficult, and the path was
really overgrown because the bridges were burnt down there. Nobody's
been hiking these trails, and so it was really really
difficult to stay on the path and figure out where
it was. It was really overgrown with weeds and stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Yeah. Oh, man, he's got the trail fever, folks.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, I got trail fever. So I also made a
very poor choice of footwear wise. I don't have any
hiking boots at this point in my life, and I
wore some work boots that are completely flat on the bottom,
and walking on the like long grass that is dead
and bent over flat walking with the flat shoes it

(02:09):
was like walking on ice. I mean, I'm from the Midwest,
I know walking on it was like walking on ice
where you'll take a step and just all of a sudden,
what do your feet go out and you're on your back.
I mean that's way it is walking on slippery ice.
It was like this on this grass, except it was
like next to cliffs. And I was really worried that
I was gonna go ooh and rolling down the cliff
and you know, be layding on the rocks or whatever.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
And I thought that sounds terrifying.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Yeah. Luckily, my kids had better shoes on and they
did not fall at all. But I fell a bunch
and it was really hard, and my kids were complaining
and wanting to go back the whole time, and I
kept talking about building character and you know, not quitting
and all these different things. It was a four point
seven mile total hike, and I don't know how much
of it we did, maybe three miles actually had to

(02:51):
turn back. Just I fell nine times, which is a
lot of times to fall down. I mean completely to
the ground, either flat on my back or flat on
my stomach, fall down. And as the numbers grew, as
I got up to like fall number seven of landing
flat on my tailbone, and I would just lay there
and groan and think, I would say, go on without me,
leave me here. It was just, it was just. Although

(03:15):
I did tell them at one point, you'll you'll be
talking about this in forty years. I guarantee you, when
you're fifty three and you're fifty one, you're gonna get
together for some family something or other and you'll be
laughing about this, even though it's miserable right now. Sam
had so many foxtails and his socks and down in
his shoes at his feet were bleeding. By the time

(03:36):
we got back to the truck. Oh no, it was
just not pleasant, not pleasant. So I wagh over and
they all both say they never want to hike again,
and I've run one of the great recreations of all time,
so I'll have to.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Present they said I would have to pay them to
go on another hike, So I might literally pay them
to go on a better hike to reintroduce them to
the hiking do you remember what the trail was raided?

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Chris? It was probably rated before or the bridges burnt out.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah that was the problem. Yeah yeah, wow, poor choice.
And a friend of mine suggested that I get a
walking stick, which she said is a sounds a lot
nicer than caane.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yeah. Yeah, well nice job.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Do you know how many times nine times is to
fall completely to the ground. That's a lot of times
to fall.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
As an older fella. Yeah, he had a fall, then
he had eight more.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Oh god, we were so beat up by the time
we got back to the truck. We got in the
truck and we all just sat there for a while.
We were so beat up, in so much pain and
tired and worn out and discouraged. We could barely move
to get to a restaurant where we ate giant ice
cream cones to try to soothe ourselves.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Wow, with nothing more soothing than a giant ice cream cone.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Maybe the next walk will be the you know, wide
paved flat mall walk that my parents enjoy doing.