Size Matters

Joe watched The Masters this weekend and even had a watch party! Problem is, the crew thinks he's lying about the size of his TV. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Over the weekend watching the Masters. Is this is my
favorite weekend of the year. I make golf freak.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
That's a golf tournament.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Yes, yes, if you'll excuse me, I will explain precisely
what it is. It's a it's a fabulous golf tournament.
Sticking the white ball, all right, Yes, that's golf. It
is well well nailed there. Anyway, it's it's my I
often say the Master's Sunday at the Masters is my
super Bowl. Of course I watched the Super Bowl too,

(00:27):
so I guess the super Bowl is my World Series,
and the World Series is my Westminster Dog Show or
something like that.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
I don't know. I don't know. That's funny, but the
dog Show is my Tony Awards. It's very or less.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
Yes. But so I decided that I haven't done this
for a number of years, that we should have a
Master's viewing party. And Judy, my my beloved bride of
many moons, says, Okay, how many people are you thinking of?
And I said, well, you know the usual suspects. The
guys I play with and and are pals of husbands,

(01:01):
the girls you play pickle ball with, and so yes,
my wife plays pickle ball. Don't hate us because we're
trends and so. But the list kept because we're like, well,
if we're inviting the Smiths, we got to invite the Joneses,
you know how this thing kind of motesta that anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Like a wedding group.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Well, and which is bad enough were it not for
the fact that it was determined to play golf myself
Sunday morning. And I looked around the house and I'm like, honey,
I'm gonna go ahead and play. It looks like we're ready.
I mean, i'd set stuff up and get this. And
she's like, really, all right, Well, I said, listen, I'll
rush straight home and help.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
How many people are we talking? We're coming over low twenties. Wow,
that's a big party. Yeah. Having announced last week that
I haven't had one human being in my house in
like a decade, twenty sounds like a lot to me. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
And so I get home from playing golf off, I
rush home to grab a quick shower and then be
super helpful. And I look around, and of course, you know,
I think, yeah, we're more or less ready, right. I
look around. There's like all the wine glasses are out,
and arranged, and oh, there's like the liquor and the
mixers and the soft drinks, and there's the shark couterie
board ready. And I'm like, oh, oh, yes, that's right,

(02:20):
getting ready for a party. Now I remember, so as
I'm playing golf, she's doing all the work for the party.
It was your idea, Yes, yes it was. And I
afterward I issued a statement. It was like when the
defendant addresses the judge after being convicted. All right, and
I said to her, I want you to know I
understand I had this great idea. Then I let the

(02:44):
guest list get big, and then you ended up doing
most of the work. I fully recognize that. I admit it,
and I will make amends for it. She said, I
appreciate you saying that. Luckily we got cool friends and
I all brought stuf and help clean up and that
sort of thing.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
But how many inches? Yes, how many inches? Is the
TV you were watching on?

Speaker 1 (03:04):
We had we had two rooms jack set up for
doing two rooms. The family room was chatting, eating and
kind of watching, and then the den, my man cave,
which is referred to as the gentleman's lounge, was set
up in like stadium seating for really watching.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
The gentleman's lounge. My house has a toilet in it.
That's what I call the gentleman's love. Well to each
their own. That's a good idea. I should do that
for Super Bowl parties or Tony Awards, whatever you're watching,
have a We're just here really to talk and kind
of this is an excuse versus the people that actually
want to watch.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah, yeah, it worked out pretty well. Although yeah, well anyway,
but it was a good time and I've apologized to
my wife and we'll be making amends for some time
to come. Oh Scotti Scheffler, by the way, who is
the greatest golfer on the planet. One going away, distinct
lack of drama, but congratulations to you, mister Scheffler.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Big time Christian guy. I saw him like fully doing
the old Jesus is My Savior thing.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
He is a very easy that's right, sir, that's what
we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Probably one of those Trump Bibles whose favorite book. You
have a lot of them around the house, and maybe
the shiny gold shoes too. But no, he's a very
easy guy to root for.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
Not only is he just a very decent human being,
he's newly married, got a baby on the way. He's gracious,
self effacing, you know, he's just he's a good man.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Anyway, Sir Michael, you had a comment, I believe. No,
I just want to know how many inches of TV was? Yeah,
he still want to You still don't answer the question,
dancing around it for some reason, either either embarrassed of
how large or embarrassed of how small I've been in
that situation.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
The one is probably a fifty problem.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
What kind of man does know, example, the inches up
their television? No, I don't know. I don't.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
I don't measure it them. They're the ones fairly large
in the other's pretty damn large. All right, Sorry, what, Katie.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
I don't know? This is sounding like it's probably pretty small. Joe,
I think it's ginormous. And he doesn't want to admit
that he bought like a ninety inch television. We got him,
beat Jack. Remember seventy seven is the new sixty five.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
That's right, No, I am undersized by your modern standards.
I don't I don't know, big enough to see the
golf ball. And it's only a yay big so big
enough apparently armstrong and yetty