It Hurts When I Laugh

Jack checks-in (twice) from his hospital bed as he awaits word from his doctor regarding the next steps following his gall bladder surgery.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, sir. Yes, the magic of telephone from from
my hospital room where I spent the night. Yeah, you're
the big finishing this music that I don't hear. I
think finished this Friday. I'm really punched out of the
healing power of Doc Severnson in the orchestra. So why

(00:23):
are you in the hospital again. Well, I had a
gallbladder attacks Sunday night. Within thirty six hours, I'd had
my gall bladder removed. I got a fever yesterday. My
paperwork said if you get a fever, you're supposed to
call a certain number. I called the number and they said,
go to the e R. I kind of thought that
I would come to the e R. They'd looked me over,

(00:45):
give me some tile and on, and send me home.
But lots of different doctors with white eyes have been
looking at me for the last twenty four hours or so.
Apparently something is hinky, some sort of infection inside me
or something. It's the same doctor that performed the surgery
is going to go back in, I guess at some
point this morning. Yeah. I hadn't spent the night in

(01:07):
the hospital. Geez, since I was like ten years old. Um,
it was very my own room, got TV spacious, sorry
nice sectually. Yeah, Well, the last time I spent a
night in the hospital, which I think was hip number one,
I was very impressed. I got lucky because I had
a private room too. But there their whole thing was
making sure you had enough quiet to sleep. And the

(01:30):
hospital administrator dropped by and said, we're really concerned about this.
We want to make sure we're able to was there
much noise and because the previous time I had been
in the hospital it was like the Grand Central Station
And then doctors would say, now make sure you get
some rest and then clang, bang you hey, we gotta
take here whatever. Oh my god, it was cacophony. I
have been jabbed with needles so many times since I

(01:51):
got here, all kinds of various places. Both arms, got
a shot in the belly that was absolutely fantire thing.
Oh lord, Oh you should warn us, knew, I know
you had to actually endure it. I just don't want
people to drop off the road. Yeah, been lots of
fun things like that. So do you have any idea
when they're gonna come and deal with you again? No,

(02:13):
I'm not looking forward to it. I don't think it's
going to be pleasant because uh yeah, and I think
they're gonna install a drain on my side, so I'm
not long I'll get to keep that. That sounds fun.
Oh boy, are they going to knock you out? Well
kind of, That's that's what I always ask. So what's
the anesthesia like on this? Because if I'm like I've

(02:33):
always said, if I'm out, I don't care what you do.
You know, remove my head, kick it around like a
soccer ball, put it back on. I don't care, for instance,
but I don't want to be more or less awake
for these things. And yeah, this is not going to
be the full anesthesia that I had before, so I'm
not looking forward to this at all. Yeah. Well they'll
probably just make you crazy high, I hope, So yeah,

(02:55):
locally aesthetic maybe yeah. Yeah, Well they're you know, they're
good at doing with this and they I couldn't deal
with you if you were in a lot of pain,
so I'm pretty certain you won't be. I mean, you'd
be thrashing about and taking swings at them. Now if
they come in and strap you to the bed, then
be like the e MT that yelled at me the
other night, because I wouldn't hold still from the I

(03:16):
v oh geez, I just laughed and that hurt, like hell,
oh my boy. I'm sorry. I'll try to do my
usual very low level of amusing for you. And I
haven't I haven't eaten or had a sip of water
in going on twenty four hours, and I'm just so
freaking thirsty and give anything for some water. This is

(03:40):
not good, but such is the way hospitals are. Anyway,
maybe I'll check in later. I have no idea what
my schedule is going to be like today. Armstrong, Jack
Armstrong Live from the hospital. Hello Jack, So what does
this annoy mean? I don't know. You mean my heart stopped?

(04:02):
Probably yeah, and then the nurse is supposed to come
down and see one art stuffed surely continuing the show
with no heartbeat. We'll get us into the Radio Hall
of Fame. Is there a radio Hall of Fame? I
don't even know. I think there is. Um So your
main topic to me, you sound very relaxed. Uh more

(04:25):
on Haward, however you say that word? They just came
into Well, when you're high on the latta, it doesn't
matter you say it. They gave him a big fat
shot in the ascid. So, yeah, we've been talking about
the wackadoodle radical d as across America, the Jessie small

(04:48):
Lett verdict, uh, and and and and a whole lot more. Honestly,
the inflation is what has me word. Oh yeah, yeah.
We talked about the economic stuff early in the show
a fair amount. Um. Yeah, like going back forty years
inflation or fifty whatever it was, Yeah, thirty nine year

(05:08):
high if you're old enough. My parents bought their house
at a great Yeah. Yeah, it's i mean, almost unimaginable now,
it's I think I'm not buying that out. Well, it's
a lifestyle crusher too, especially for working families and for

(05:29):
older folks who are on a fixed income. Went into
a Gallup Data poll about inflation and who it's really hurting,
who's really suffering, and you know, predictably, it's the working
poor and working class America, which is allegedly, I think
this is a near farcical claim, but allegedly the Democratic
Party looks out for the little guy and they're just

(05:50):
getting punished by a lot of these policies. Sure, so nasty. So, uh,
what's going on with you? I don't know, I'm gonna
get some sort of procedure done here in a little bit.
I don't exactly know what it is. They're gonna put
a grain in me, that's one thing, but I know
there's other things I gotta do. They say, uh, there's

(06:13):
some sort of funkiness about where my god blood it was.
They said, my godblod it was particularly and raged and angry.
M hmm, and that they were surprised that I had
been living with that for so long. M m. I
guess I just always thought that, you know, I need
to too much fatty. That's the price day, not that
I had a gold blatter. It was on the fritz. Well,

(06:35):
you know, come to think of it, the number of
times you said you felt like you were gonna die
based on what you've eaten, you know, through the months
and years, is it's pretty significant. That's true. The doctor
to take it out, she said, you must be very stoic,
because most people do not have I don't learn like
that all this yere yeah, And I thought, yeah, it is.

(06:56):
It is what you just said. I would just eat.
I know, I know I did to myself because I
had a bunch of greasy crafts. And I think this
is the right right, So, well, yeah, you've only had
your gall bladder. You don't know how it is for
the rest of us. Really, it's you know, casual conversation
expiating pain. Ever every time they ate something. No, no, indeed,

(07:20):
and honestly, as a beloved entertainer, you do have a
gift for colorful language. And evidently it was as painful
as you were describing it, and was not just you know,
exaggerated for the purposes of our amusement. Ibish I could
have seen it. She she didn't have told court to
table about my goal bladder. And it will stand out
among gold bladders. I wonder if you'll make like gall

(07:43):
bladder monthly or anything like that, exactly exactly the worst
gall bladders in America this year number seven will shock you.
Mine will be number seven. Sure years might be the
centerfold or when have you your gall bladder could be famous,
you know, And so circus there was a torn apart

(08:03):
and enraged and swollen and all kinds of problems. Oh
my god, which might be with leading to this after
the operation problem gets enough? Yeah? Yeah, well the wow
that that noises loud? Well, we're certainly uh I'm breathing. Yeah, Well,

(08:24):
you appear to be well, gosh, do you have any
idea when the action is going to commence? I mean
they hitch up with a big drugs so probably sooners, right,
I think so, I think it's going to be this morning. Um,
I don't know. I'm not sure they know. I have
to get another big test of some sort video, another,
some sort of scan. It's probably that cognitive test dog

(08:46):
balloon ship cloud, right, dogs and I repeated it dog
being ship cloud. And if if you've never seen anybody
like to do everything, that's the best result they've ever seen. Yeah,
that's fantastic. Your nornage still blatter. Well, A lot of
people are are writing in and saying really nice things
and wishing you well for what it's worth. Most of

(09:07):
them more. Yes, I've noticed the ones that have not.
But so even as you lie on your not death
but illness bed, you're checking the texts. Stop it. There's
you know, there's some angry people of it. Oh yeah,
that's everybody. That's a lot of people seem to be

(09:29):
king on the fact that I seem to have a
bit of a bad look street to going here the
last months. That is, you know, outside of the normal well,
it's like you defiled the pharaoh's tomb. Yes, yes, this
is I wasn't going to say it, but yes, what
the Almighty himself is angered at you? Apparently or not

(09:54):
laws a lot of Averages says. Next year is just
going to be a humdinger for you. Hey, Jack, fantastic.
Actually that's what the doctor lost. Yes, Michael, I hate
to tell you this, but your favorite monkey just passed away.
Mike Nesmith O oh no, the great ones, one after

(10:14):
the other. He's he's on the last train to Heavensville
back to you. That's terrible, even by my standards. David
challenges good good. I don't know about Peter Colt or
Nicky Dolan's. That's right. I think they're fine. I'm sure

(10:39):
they'll be issuing heartfelt statements any moment now.