Talking Toilets

DISCLAIMER: If you (like our hosts) currently find yourself weighed down by the events, the dark thoughts and the pains of the times we are living through, this episode may be for another time. 

The Blue Episode. Will and Alex are going through the motions (a figurative number 7 on the Bristol Stool Chart). Times have changed in that you are now listening to the musings of two re-conscripted service droids who are driving and ...

Back In Time. Alex and Will aren't just travelling through the Google News pages anymore, no sir-ee! After a socially distant meet up over the weekend, their urge to boldly go where no man has gone before (lockdown) is at an all time high. Next stop – back in time!

Take a trip on the T.U.R.D.I.S along with our hosts to hear of the euphemistic origins of the word 'toilet', what uses The Good Book has for excrement (not that dear fil...

Around the World. Prepare yourself for some wildly-differing quantities of research as Will and Alex set off on their first international undertaking!

First stop is Bath, where our hosts investigate the disappearance of Somerset’s most grandly-educated, pale frankfurter Jacob Rees-Mogg, then Linslade where Alex meets a particularly angry ‘Charlotte’, then across the pond to America where the Angry Orange is wasting pools of water d...

Down On Your Luck. If toilets could talk would they spend most of their time with a therapist? Alex's definitely would... Will's reaction to a certain Pizza Express toilet in Kent however could be judged as approach-avoidance conflict by that aforementioned shrink. 

Listen, this week the conversation turns to Freud, okay? So, if you're wondering why this bio is getting a little sure of itself, come place your hand on your chin...

A Shwipe. Back with Khazi-cal quarantine correspondence Will and Alex try out potential, new careers; fire investigators, bidet manufacturers and human rights activists better get their shit together! On the 2020 International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia & Biphobia, toilet news takes to task Oxfordshire County Council and asks (of their obtrusive ruling), 'why'? Southward ho! In Chichester Alex finds a toilet in a cupbo...

Portaloo Adventure. What's that? Could it be? Is your particularly large skid mark on the side of the pan actually a reptile (or amphibian)? Will and Alex look to unearth the root cause of a spate of recent remarkable saurian home invasions. Here's looking at you Derbyshire! This week it transpires our hosts sit on opposing sides of the 'Asparagus Effect' coin and, when it comes to spending their pennies in a Portaloo, who has the ...

School Toilets. Guess what, Will and Alex are still in lockdown! Join them as they compare hilarious school toilet memories, awkwardly manoeuvre the conversation around what seems bigger when you're younger, and delve into research suggesting current public toilets are adding to a potential resurgence of the unforgiving coronavirus – yay!

Talking Toilets is a new podcast by William Smith and Alex Hope about all things toilet. Need ...

Personal Toilet. In the week Boris Johnson went down with coronavirus, William Smith and Alex Hope bring dearly-missed, old-household toilets to the table. They delve into the field of toilet technology, where soon our toilets might be able to know our darkest secrets, and approximations are made as to whether our dear Leader is up to the job. Special guest appearance by a black market book club from Hampstead.

Talking Toilets is a...

The Last Public Toilet. William Smith and Alex Hope present personal, topical and metaphysical rumination on all things toilet. In the week public gatherings were banned, industries destroyed and draconian law set in Will ‘held it’ while trying to work out a secret bookcase door, nature calls for Alex in Milton Keynes, and the lack of toilet paper creates a dilemma; ‘steal or salvage?’

Talking Toilets is a new podcast by William Sm...