June 5, 2025 • 24 mins
Featured within the Thursday June 5, 2025 edition of The Armstrong & Getty One More Thing Podcast...
- The Elon & Trump starts to heat up...
- 36 questions for couples to consider to determine the strength of their love!
Stupid Should Hurt: https://www.armstrongandgetty.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Can we fall in love quickly? Please? I have a
two o'clock. It's one more thing.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
That's great thanking for before we get to this. And
I know the podcast lives on forever and you might
be listening to this six years from now, but if
you're listening to it anywhere near June the fifth, twenty
twenty five, Elon just started shooting back at Trump on Twitter.
We talked about it a lot on the radio show.
We think by the end of by sunset today on
(00:27):
June fifth, they will be taking personal shots at each
other as two of the most powerful people on earth
that you can't imagine.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I say it happens while I'm still picking my lunch
out of my teeth. It's not gonna be till sunset. Holy.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Elon just said Trump would not have won without me.
That's gonna piss Trump off. That's gonna really get under
his skin.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Oh boy, all right, Moron, that's come on the live
radio show tomorrow. If you're listening today, If you're listening tomorrow,
it was yesterday. If you're listening three days from now,
it was a week from two.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
If you're listening in four years, how is AI working
out of any robots drained your blood or anything.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Eating your liver straight out of your belly. All right,
a moment to center ourself. Now, Oh, there we go.
So I'm reading my reams and reams of media the
other day and I came across what was a follow
up article on a woman who writes a well loved
column about love, and it was a ten year follow
(01:26):
up on her relationship with her man, which began with
an essay from well, it's a study, an essay a
thing of a jigger from a psychologist about whether intimacy
between two strangers can be accelerated, how you can go
(01:47):
through a process and be in love or damn close
to it at the end of the very very brief process.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
So that you can get to the divorce by dinner
time or what?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Wow, I don't you're in a hurry. I don't know exactly,
although before you get to your harsh and idiotic judgments something. Now,
I sound like trumpet elon, don't I let me explain
what's going on here? And I guess this made a
bit of noise around ten years ago. I either missed
(02:19):
it or have forgotten about it. Thirty six questions, broken
up into three sets you go through with that person,
and then you stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.
Now some people say two minutes is enough, some people
(02:41):
say it really takes four minutes. So you go through
these thirty six questions which I will absolutely read you,
and then you stare into each other's eyes, and by
the end of it, if there is love to be
found there, you'll have found it. The idea being I
can explain it to you, but go ahead.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
So I've thought this many times in my life before
we even had this discussion. I look back over people
that I ended up in relationships with, and you know,
the feeling that we generally call love, although what what
it love is, it gets very very complicated. I mean,
the long lasting dedication to supporting someone blah blah blah
versus the you know, butterflies in your stomach la la lalla,
(03:26):
but not to mention the hats, uh yeah, but the
the closely related to the butterflies, the butterflies thing of mine.
In every instance it's happened to me in my life.
I can remember the moment that our eyes locked for
however long, and that's when the magic happens. Of nobody
(03:47):
actually understands if it's pheromones, or we read each other's
genome and realize we could have healthy kids together, or
what the hell goes on there? But I got I
remember the moment for every situation, and that's when it happened.
So I can absolutely believe that if you went through
a room like a big group of people and y'all
(04:10):
both star at each other's for a certain percentage, I
don't know what percentage you it would happen.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Well, and feel free to jump in whenever you want,
Katie or Michael or home you know, either one. But
that it's funny I got. I got like an electric
charge through me when you describe that we met eyes
and moment, and nobody has to fill out what happens
after the end. Everybody who's ever fallen in love knows it,
and it can be an extremely brief yeah, locking of eyes.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, That's that's why I've always thought, if you get
turned down, you got to just realize that whatever whatever
this magic was, wasn't there. You don't have to take
it personally.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
It's not a rejection of your qualities as a human being.
It feels like it is, and I always thought it
was but no, it's it's funny. I had this this
experience years ago of I was walking through an airport
and there are all sorts of human beings. There are
some of the best people watching on earth, including you know,
attractive females, and I am a flaming heterosexual though faithfully married,
(05:10):
and I passed one woman and my brain about exploded.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Wow, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
She was my type. And you know, it's probably not
an insane to state that she looked a fair amount
like my wife did when she was young and we
got together, but it was it was striking. It was
like she's good looking, she's kind of hot, ha ha.
It was. It was crazy, and so I thought, wow,
(05:36):
there is something going on there, whether it's Freudian biochemical
as you're suggesting, or whatever that either is or it isn't.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I believe we read each other's genomes with our with
our minds. But yes, Michael Show, did your mouth I
love you too? Well?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
No, I said it. I grabbed her in both my
arms and gave her a long kid. You're like the
sailor with the nurse after World War two exactly. And
when the cops stopped beating me anyway, all right, So
here's the stuff. I love you, that's us So all right,
(06:13):
here's the story this. Psychologist Arthur Aaron and others were
exploring whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by
having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions.
The thirty six questions in the study are broken up
into three sets, each, with each set intended to be
more probing than the previous one. The idea is that
(06:33):
mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the studies authors quote,
one key pattern associating with the development of close relationship
among peers is sustained, escalating reciprocal personal self disclosure. Allowing
oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult,
(06:54):
so this exercise forces the issue. Now, I can't remember, Jacket,
may have been during the radio show when we were
talking about doing this. You asked, is accelerating it necessarily
a good idea? Well, what you are?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Would you want to? Or is the drawn out process
of it happening at the pace it currently happens? Is
like the greatest thing in the world is do.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
You earn your way in? Is the way I'd put it.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
So like here's how to skip over having to eat
Thanksgiving dinner. It takes too long to enjoy those flavors.
Here you can enjoy all the flavors immediately in like
two seconds.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
In a pill. I don't want to well, right, and again,
it could be argued that the time spent working your
way from set one to set two in real life,
that's an application process. Like I said, you've got to
earn your way in.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Maybe your heart would explode if you fell in love
instantly alta.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Well as opposed to all right, let's move on to
a higher level of intimacy. Ready, here we go, I mean, anyway,
it's an interesting theory. And the one you're done, you
stare into each other's eyes for four minutes set number one.
Let's go through the question.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
You can't stare into someone someone's eyes. You can pick
an eye and stare into it, thank you, And it's
always bothered me.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yes, Mike, if I feel like we're losing the thread here,
you pick an eye and you stare into that eye,
and maybe they're staring into the same eye as you,
or you're staring into two different eyes, or you alter
their left and they're staring into your right, so you
aren't really even looking at each other. Wow. And what
if you're like me and you have the crazy eyes
exactly right? Got them real tor eyes? Yeah, that's that's funny.
(08:35):
It's neurological truth. Thank you Jack. Here we go now,
set number one. This definitely starts with ice breaking party
game and moves on from there. Here's your first set
of twelve twelve questions. I think it is twelve. Yeah. Uh. One,
given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would
you want to as a dinner guest? Just stop me
(08:58):
if you want me to stop, we can discuss the
the greater length animal after two? Would you like to
be famous? In what way? I would? Well? Yeah, answer
if we If we answer all of these Number one,
it's going to be really time consuming. Number two, we'll
all be in love with each other and that would
(09:19):
make it super weird to do the show a trumple
or quadruple or whatever. Yeah, good lord, it was right?
All right? Here we go.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what
you're going to say? Why this is? I tell you what?
As you work your way because I've read all these
as I work my way through them. I definitely felt
a I would feel really close to this person?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Is this yeah? I don't want to get off track.
Here is the assumption that if you answer the same
you are a better fit or is it just not
at all? Okay, it's just the having the conversation is
a way to find out about.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Each other, you know. As I said in the UH
and the introduction, it's all about escalating vulnerability and trust reciprocal.
Where is that phrase, escalating reciprocal personal self disclosure? Okay?
Where were we? What would constitute the perfect day for you?
(10:19):
What did you last sing to yourself or to someone else?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
I sing to myself every single day.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Every day, although this shows ruined my throat. Six. If
you were able to live to the age of ninety
and retain either the mind or body of a thirty
year old for the last sixty years of your life,
which would you want?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
That's an obvious one to me. Without the brain, what
the hell's the point?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I'd be handsome as hell. What's the point of being
some brainiac?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
You're old and wandering around the neighborhood. No, your brain's fine.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Seven? No, do you have a secret hunch how you
will die? A Name three things you and your partner
appear to have in common. Your partner being the person
that you're doing this with.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
That last one clearly h ob halo bullets.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Terminal syphilis because I play around a lot. Oh my gosh, horror.
That is great pleasure in life. I can't give up.
So yeah, yep, dad from syphilis. All right, Moving on
to question eight, I'll say fireworks accident. All right, Name
(11:34):
three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
That's that's a good little bonding one. Eight. What in
your life do you for? What in your life do
you feel most grateful? Ten? If you could change anything
about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Oh that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Oh and that is getting a little more deeply into
who I am. You are? And yeah, take number eleven.
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story
in as much detail as possible.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Take how many minutes? Four minutes, as much as the
period of time four minutes?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Okay, yeah. Uh. If you could wake up tomorrow having
gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? Oh? Boy,
there we go. Uh huh. Here's where the guy says
something stupid and the woman rolls her eyes, but then realizes,
now he's a dope boy, but I kind of like him,
which you know, honestly, I can think of several instances
(12:34):
in a couple of relationships, particularly with the Lovely Judith,
where the vibe was, I've been an idiot and I
screwed up, but you're forgiving me and laughing along with me.
That's that's a step.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Oh huge, that's huge.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yeah, ron to set too. Does anybody need to have
a good cry or wipe their nose.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Can kind of screwed me up a little, to tighten.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Their pelt or anything? All right, on set too. So
this question thirteen, if a crystal ball could tell you
the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else,
what would you want to know?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
That's a tough one.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, yeah, huh.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Who's going to win Super Bowl fifty seven?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
All right? Next question? Is there something that you've dreamed
of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
That's a good one. Again, you're gonna have to admit,
so say what I'm going to do too much and.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Start on it too little laziness, fear, whatever it would be,
whatever it would be, it wouldn't be an attractive quality.
So that's a good question for that reason.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, yeah, escalating levels vulnerability. Here we go. Fifteen, what
is the greatest accomplishment of your life? What do you
value most in a friend ship?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Fourth of July, couple of years ago. I ate seven
hot dogs in one sitting.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Why impressive? That is great? Moving along to the friendship thing.
Then seventeen is what is your most treasured memory? And
then eighteen what is your most terrible memory?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Oh? My god, fuck, I don't even know if I
want to think about that, but I could see why
it would be a valuable conversation.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, no kidding. Nineteen options if a skip? No, no,
absolutely not. You can't skip. I'm rejecting you for even
suggesting it. Next, let's get started with question one. Here
we go, Let's say nineteen if you knew that in
one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything
about the way you are living now?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Why these are good?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah? Yeah? And the way they kind of go up
and down in intensity I think is super small. You
got to send me this list, Oh I will, I
absolutely will.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I want to use it, and we'll post this whole.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Thing at Armstrong and geddy dot com. There it is
twenty What does friendship mean to you? Twenty one? What
roles do love and affection play in your life?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I'm always a question behind. They would help me bury
your body, they would bail me out, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Uh yeah, you know that's I've heard that said before.
They'd show up to bill you out without asking what
you did. Oh, that's a good goal, right, kil three hobos.
Thanks for dropping boy, I need a ride home. Let's
see it too. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive
characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
(15:36):
You go back and forth. Here's this is an interesting
transition because this is not revealing yourself exactly. This is
saying I really.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Like you something positive about them, and you don't know
them very well, though you might.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
I mean, this is not a speed dating thing. This
is you have an interest in each other.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
When do we stare into each other's eye at the
end of it, I'm gonna stare into your eye. Hold still,
We're almost done. I tell you what you fixated on
that whole?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
You know, it's actually impossible to stare into both Some
say we don't move on from that. We're done? Yeah,
right for real, next for starting to question one again,
come on in here for almost for almost done with
section two. This is twenty three How close and warm
is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier
than most other people? And then twenty four how do
(16:34):
you feel about your relationship with your mother? And then
I guess you take a break, or you take a
shower or something, to do five push ups and you
come back for set number three. You thought the first
two sets, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
God, there's more. This is exhausting.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, I know it is all right, Katie.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
No I'm not. This is a lot.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah. Yeah, Well you're a woman.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
You better drive a nice car if you expect her
to stick around for round three.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Oh oh too shallow to swimming. Here we go, Set three,
make it set this is number twenty five. Make three
true quote we statements. For instance, we are both in
this room feeling something twenty six Complete this sentence. I
wish I had someone with whom I could share like.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
A popsicle this samewich, that's right to pizza.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I'm really hungry.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Twenty seven if you were to I was thinking about
that the other day. A walk around the block when
I go for a walk at night. I thought that'd
be a good one. I see other people walking with someone,
and I think that would be nice.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
You know, Judy and I walk the dog together every morning,
and sometimes one of us will sleep in for whatever
reason or have like an early morning appointment or something
like that, and if we miss it, I hate it,
just hate it.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
My mom and dad walked together every night. She's for
decades and decades and decades.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
That's a beautiful thing. Uh So, there you go. That's
the sort of answer that you would share with somebody
and it'd be like wow, anyway. Twenty that was really
well put, Joe, You do this for a living. Twenty seven.
If you were going to become a close friend with
your partner, please share what would be important for him
or her to know about you. I drink a lot,
(18:31):
and when people tell me I drink too much, that
makes me drink more. So don't bother. Twenty eight. Tell
your partner what you like about them. Be very honest
this time, saying things that you might not say to
someone you've just met. Wow, so we're going back for
round two of this. But this is not a cocktail party.
(18:52):
Be real. Twenty nine Share with your partner, an embarrassing
moment in your life more vulnerability obviously thirty When did
you last cry in front of another person? When did
you let last cry by yourself? Thirty one Tell your
partner something that you like about them already so we're
back to that again so soon? Thirty two What if
(19:14):
anything is too serious to be joked about? Boy?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
I don't know if there is a topic for me
hardly but short.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
List no doubt? Yeah. Uh. Thirty three If you were
to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone,
what would you most regret not having told someone?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
And why haven't you told them yet? Wow? I think
we're all gonna need a minute. Wow gitting for clemped? Yeah? Yeah, Okay.
Now when the two of you are both done crying,
you can continue with number thirty four. Your house containing
everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones
(19:58):
and pets, you have time to say, if we make
a final dash to save any one item, what would
it be and why it wouldn't be my fire extinguisher
because it didn't do me any good.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I assume you're not thinking about like your tax files
or birth certificates or something, or are you.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
You answer however you want? You're telling me how to answer.
You're too oppressive. Next, let's start again with question one.
He's telling me how to answer the questions.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
There'll probably be paperwork actually.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Boring.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, I know, but there's some things it would be
really really really really difficult to lose.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
The classic answer wedding photos, family pictures, a lot of
them are on the cloud.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Now yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Well, you know what's interesting about this question is you
can sit here and think about it, whereas the very
structure of the question implies you would have no time
to think about it. Wow. I don't even know the
answer to that question. It's like, it's a really interesting
question and worth the discussion in this context. But that's
like one of those you know, how would you react
(21:11):
if someone pulled a gun on you?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah? Well, the problem with this is, uh, a lot
of the answers could sound really shallow. I mean, if
I've got my loved ones out and everything like that,
and like if all important paperwork is in a safe,
which in my case it is, which bright survived the fire,
and then it's probably gonna be something kind of material.
I'm afraid I PlayStation five. Yeah, something like that. I
(21:33):
got a couple of guitars I'd hate to see burned up.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I was gonna say, I might grab my telecaster. It's
it's it's a totem of some of the best times
I've ever had. It was in my hand while I
was doing some of the things I've loved the most. Anyway, Uh,
but you know it's again, it's not it's not like
there's a right or wrong answer.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So there's a wrong answer. I'm sorry, that's the wrong answer.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Right my collection of iguana hide. I mean, the point
is that you're being intimate anyway. Moving along, second, last one,
thirty five of all the people in your family, whose
death would you find most disturbing? My god, what kind
of question is that? It's a question that only people
who are really, really close would deal with. Wow, this
(22:20):
is what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Because you pick one. You got to leave some people out, obviously.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
And then this is the last one. Share a personal
problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or
she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect
back to you how you seem to be feeling about
the problem. You have chosen. Oh, I get it. Okay,
So how would you handle this? And can you tell
(22:50):
how I feel about this problem? How? What? What are
you sensing from me when I describe this? So don't
just solve it for me. Understand what I'm really trying
to tell you.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Crab grass in the side yard.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Tried everything, I'd rip it up and resad and I
can tell you really hate crab grass.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
There we just gave you for instance.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
You know what you keep crabgrass mode? It looks great.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Yeah, well when I mode lawns, I mostly mode crab grass.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Honestly. Sure. Back in yeah, yeah, nobody had a lawn
worth a crab.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Everything was just mowed down weeds which looked pretty nice.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Actually yeah the crab huh no, no, no, next. So
there you have it. We will post that at Armstrong
and getty dot com, but under like hot links for
June the fifth, or can we give it like a banner,
you know, featured position? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I would like to run through those questions sometime in
my life. That sounds pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, we'll have our people get on that. Hope you
enjoyed it, and God bless you in your pursuits romantic,
professional and otherwise.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
And if you've got someone, go home and stare them
in the eye.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
If you could kill three people this afternoon and how
be detailed.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yeah, well I guess that's it.
Can we fall in love quickly? Please? I have a
two o'clock. It's one more thing.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
That's great thanking for before we get to this. And
I know the podcast lives on forever and you might
be listening to this six years from now, but if
you're listening to it anywhere near June the fifth, twenty
twenty five, Elon just started shooting back at Trump on Twitter.
We talked about it a lot on the radio show.
We think by the end of by sunset today on
(00:27):
June fifth, they will be taking personal shots at each
other as two of the most powerful people on earth
that you can't imagine.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I say it happens while I'm still picking my lunch
out of my teeth. It's not gonna be till sunset. Holy.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Elon just said Trump would not have won without me.
That's gonna piss Trump off. That's gonna really get under
his skin.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Oh boy, all right, Moron, that's come on the live
radio show tomorrow. If you're listening today, If you're listening tomorrow,
it was yesterday. If you're listening three days from now,
it was a week from two.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
If you're listening in four years, how is AI working
out of any robots drained your blood or anything.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Eating your liver straight out of your belly. All right,
a moment to center ourself. Now, Oh, there we go.
So I'm reading my reams and reams of media the
other day and I came across what was a follow
up article on a woman who writes a well loved
column about love, and it was a ten year follow
(01:26):
up on her relationship with her man, which began with
an essay from well, it's a study, an essay a
thing of a jigger from a psychologist about whether intimacy
between two strangers can be accelerated, how you can go
(01:47):
through a process and be in love or damn close
to it at the end of the very very brief process.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
So that you can get to the divorce by dinner
time or what?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Wow, I don't you're in a hurry. I don't know exactly,
although before you get to your harsh and idiotic judgments something. Now,
I sound like trumpet elon, don't I let me explain
what's going on here? And I guess this made a
bit of noise around ten years ago. I either missed
(02:19):
it or have forgotten about it. Thirty six questions, broken
up into three sets you go through with that person,
and then you stare into each other's eyes for four minutes.
Now some people say two minutes is enough, some people
(02:41):
say it really takes four minutes. So you go through
these thirty six questions which I will absolutely read you,
and then you stare into each other's eyes, and by
the end of it, if there is love to be
found there, you'll have found it. The idea being I
can explain it to you, but go ahead.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
So I've thought this many times in my life before
we even had this discussion. I look back over people
that I ended up in relationships with, and you know,
the feeling that we generally call love, although what what
it love is, it gets very very complicated. I mean,
the long lasting dedication to supporting someone blah blah blah
versus the you know, butterflies in your stomach la la lalla,
(03:26):
but not to mention the hats, uh yeah, but the
the closely related to the butterflies, the butterflies thing of mine.
In every instance it's happened to me in my life.
I can remember the moment that our eyes locked for
however long, and that's when the magic happens. Of nobody
(03:47):
actually understands if it's pheromones, or we read each other's
genome and realize we could have healthy kids together, or
what the hell goes on there? But I got I
remember the moment for every situation, and that's when it happened.
So I can absolutely believe that if you went through
a room like a big group of people and y'all
(04:10):
both star at each other's for a certain percentage, I
don't know what percentage you it would happen.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Well, and feel free to jump in whenever you want,
Katie or Michael or home you know, either one. But
that it's funny I got. I got like an electric
charge through me when you describe that we met eyes
and moment, and nobody has to fill out what happens
after the end. Everybody who's ever fallen in love knows it,
and it can be an extremely brief yeah, locking of eyes.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, That's that's why I've always thought, if you get
turned down, you got to just realize that whatever whatever
this magic was, wasn't there. You don't have to take
it personally.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
It's not a rejection of your qualities as a human being.
It feels like it is, and I always thought it
was but no, it's it's funny. I had this this
experience years ago of I was walking through an airport
and there are all sorts of human beings. There are
some of the best people watching on earth, including you know,
attractive females, and I am a flaming heterosexual though faithfully married,
(05:10):
and I passed one woman and my brain about exploded.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Wow, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
She was my type. And you know, it's probably not
an insane to state that she looked a fair amount
like my wife did when she was young and we
got together, but it was it was striking. It was
like she's good looking, she's kind of hot, ha ha.
It was. It was crazy, and so I thought, wow,
(05:36):
there is something going on there, whether it's Freudian biochemical
as you're suggesting, or whatever that either is or it isn't.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I believe we read each other's genomes with our with
our minds. But yes, Michael Show, did your mouth I
love you too? Well?
Speaker 1 (05:50):
No, I said it. I grabbed her in both my
arms and gave her a long kid. You're like the
sailor with the nurse after World War two exactly. And
when the cops stopped beating me anyway, all right, So
here's the stuff. I love you, that's us So all right,
(06:13):
here's the story this. Psychologist Arthur Aaron and others were
exploring whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by
having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions.
The thirty six questions in the study are broken up
into three sets, each, with each set intended to be
more probing than the previous one. The idea is that
(06:33):
mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the studies authors quote,
one key pattern associating with the development of close relationship
among peers is sustained, escalating reciprocal personal self disclosure. Allowing
oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult,
(06:54):
so this exercise forces the issue. Now, I can't remember, Jacket,
may have been during the radio show when we were
talking about doing this. You asked, is accelerating it necessarily
a good idea? Well, what you are?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Would you want to? Or is the drawn out process
of it happening at the pace it currently happens? Is
like the greatest thing in the world is do.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
You earn your way in? Is the way I'd put it.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
So like here's how to skip over having to eat
Thanksgiving dinner. It takes too long to enjoy those flavors.
Here you can enjoy all the flavors immediately in like
two seconds.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
In a pill. I don't want to well, right, and again,
it could be argued that the time spent working your
way from set one to set two in real life,
that's an application process. Like I said, you've got to
earn your way in.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Maybe your heart would explode if you fell in love
instantly alta.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Well as opposed to all right, let's move on to
a higher level of intimacy. Ready, here we go, I mean, anyway,
it's an interesting theory. And the one you're done, you
stare into each other's eyes for four minutes set number one.
Let's go through the question.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
You can't stare into someone someone's eyes. You can pick
an eye and stare into it, thank you, And it's
always bothered me.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yes, Mike, if I feel like we're losing the thread here,
you pick an eye and you stare into that eye,
and maybe they're staring into the same eye as you,
or you're staring into two different eyes, or you alter
their left and they're staring into your right, so you
aren't really even looking at each other. Wow. And what
if you're like me and you have the crazy eyes
exactly right? Got them real tor eyes? Yeah, that's that's funny.
(08:35):
It's neurological truth. Thank you Jack. Here we go now,
set number one. This definitely starts with ice breaking party
game and moves on from there. Here's your first set
of twelve twelve questions. I think it is twelve. Yeah. Uh. One,
given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would
you want to as a dinner guest? Just stop me
(08:58):
if you want me to stop, we can discuss the
the greater length animal after two? Would you like to
be famous? In what way? I would? Well? Yeah, answer
if we If we answer all of these Number one,
it's going to be really time consuming. Number two, we'll
all be in love with each other and that would
(09:19):
make it super weird to do the show a trumple
or quadruple or whatever. Yeah, good lord, it was right?
All right? Here we go.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what
you're going to say? Why this is? I tell you what?
As you work your way because I've read all these
as I work my way through them. I definitely felt
a I would feel really close to this person?
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Is this yeah? I don't want to get off track.
Here is the assumption that if you answer the same
you are a better fit or is it just not
at all? Okay, it's just the having the conversation is
a way to find out about.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Each other, you know. As I said in the UH
and the introduction, it's all about escalating vulnerability and trust reciprocal.
Where is that phrase, escalating reciprocal personal self disclosure? Okay?
Where were we? What would constitute the perfect day for you?
(10:19):
What did you last sing to yourself or to someone else?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
I sing to myself every single day.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Every day, although this shows ruined my throat. Six. If
you were able to live to the age of ninety
and retain either the mind or body of a thirty
year old for the last sixty years of your life,
which would you want?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
That's an obvious one to me. Without the brain, what
the hell's the point?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I'd be handsome as hell. What's the point of being
some brainiac?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
You're old and wandering around the neighborhood. No, your brain's fine.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Seven? No, do you have a secret hunch how you
will die? A Name three things you and your partner
appear to have in common. Your partner being the person
that you're doing this with.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
That last one clearly h ob halo bullets.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Terminal syphilis because I play around a lot. Oh my gosh, horror.
That is great pleasure in life. I can't give up.
So yeah, yep, dad from syphilis. All right, Moving on
to question eight, I'll say fireworks accident. All right, Name
(11:34):
three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
That's that's a good little bonding one. Eight. What in
your life do you for? What in your life do
you feel most grateful? Ten? If you could change anything
about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Oh that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Oh and that is getting a little more deeply into
who I am. You are? And yeah, take number eleven.
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story
in as much detail as possible.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Take how many minutes? Four minutes, as much as the
period of time four minutes?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Okay, yeah. Uh. If you could wake up tomorrow having
gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? Oh? Boy,
there we go. Uh huh. Here's where the guy says
something stupid and the woman rolls her eyes, but then realizes,
now he's a dope boy, but I kind of like him,
which you know, honestly, I can think of several instances
(12:34):
in a couple of relationships, particularly with the Lovely Judith,
where the vibe was, I've been an idiot and I
screwed up, but you're forgiving me and laughing along with me.
That's that's a step.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Oh huge, that's huge.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yeah, ron to set too. Does anybody need to have
a good cry or wipe their nose.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Can kind of screwed me up a little, to tighten.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Their pelt or anything? All right, on set too. So
this question thirteen, if a crystal ball could tell you
the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else,
what would you want to know?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
That's a tough one.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
Yeah, yeah, huh.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Who's going to win Super Bowl fifty seven?
Speaker 1 (13:27):
All right? Next question? Is there something that you've dreamed
of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
That's a good one. Again, you're gonna have to admit,
so say what I'm going to do too much and.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Start on it too little laziness, fear, whatever it would be,
whatever it would be, it wouldn't be an attractive quality.
So that's a good question for that reason.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, yeah, escalating levels vulnerability. Here we go. Fifteen, what
is the greatest accomplishment of your life? What do you
value most in a friend ship?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Fourth of July, couple of years ago. I ate seven
hot dogs in one sitting.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Why impressive? That is great? Moving along to the friendship thing.
Then seventeen is what is your most treasured memory? And
then eighteen what is your most terrible memory?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Oh? My god, fuck, I don't even know if I
want to think about that, but I could see why
it would be a valuable conversation.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, no kidding. Nineteen options if a skip? No, no,
absolutely not. You can't skip. I'm rejecting you for even
suggesting it. Next, let's get started with question one. Here
we go, Let's say nineteen if you knew that in
one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything
about the way you are living now?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Why these are good?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah? Yeah? And the way they kind of go up
and down in intensity I think is super small. You
got to send me this list, Oh I will, I
absolutely will.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I want to use it, and we'll post this whole.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Thing at Armstrong and geddy dot com. There it is
twenty What does friendship mean to you? Twenty one? What
roles do love and affection play in your life?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I'm always a question behind. They would help me bury
your body, they would bail me out, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Uh yeah, you know that's I've heard that said before.
They'd show up to bill you out without asking what
you did. Oh, that's a good goal, right, kil three hobos.
Thanks for dropping boy, I need a ride home. Let's
see it too. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive
characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
(15:36):
You go back and forth. Here's this is an interesting
transition because this is not revealing yourself exactly. This is
saying I really.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Like you something positive about them, and you don't know
them very well, though you might.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
I mean, this is not a speed dating thing. This
is you have an interest in each other.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
When do we stare into each other's eye at the
end of it, I'm gonna stare into your eye. Hold still,
We're almost done. I tell you what you fixated on
that whole?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
You know, it's actually impossible to stare into both Some
say we don't move on from that. We're done? Yeah,
right for real, next for starting to question one again,
come on in here for almost for almost done with
section two. This is twenty three How close and warm
is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier
than most other people? And then twenty four how do
(16:34):
you feel about your relationship with your mother? And then
I guess you take a break, or you take a
shower or something, to do five push ups and you
come back for set number three. You thought the first
two sets, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
God, there's more. This is exhausting.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, I know it is all right, Katie.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
No I'm not. This is a lot.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah. Yeah, Well you're a woman.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
You better drive a nice car if you expect her
to stick around for round three.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Oh oh too shallow to swimming. Here we go, Set three,
make it set this is number twenty five. Make three
true quote we statements. For instance, we are both in
this room feeling something twenty six Complete this sentence. I
wish I had someone with whom I could share like.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
A popsicle this samewich, that's right to pizza.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
I'm really hungry.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Twenty seven if you were to I was thinking about
that the other day. A walk around the block when
I go for a walk at night. I thought that'd
be a good one. I see other people walking with someone,
and I think that would be nice.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
You know, Judy and I walk the dog together every morning,
and sometimes one of us will sleep in for whatever
reason or have like an early morning appointment or something
like that, and if we miss it, I hate it,
just hate it.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
My mom and dad walked together every night. She's for
decades and decades and decades.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
That's a beautiful thing. Uh So, there you go. That's
the sort of answer that you would share with somebody
and it'd be like wow, anyway. Twenty that was really
well put, Joe, You do this for a living. Twenty seven.
If you were going to become a close friend with
your partner, please share what would be important for him
or her to know about you. I drink a lot,
(18:31):
and when people tell me I drink too much, that
makes me drink more. So don't bother. Twenty eight. Tell
your partner what you like about them. Be very honest
this time, saying things that you might not say to
someone you've just met. Wow, so we're going back for
round two of this. But this is not a cocktail party.
(18:52):
Be real. Twenty nine Share with your partner, an embarrassing
moment in your life more vulnerability obviously thirty When did
you last cry in front of another person? When did
you let last cry by yourself? Thirty one Tell your
partner something that you like about them already so we're
back to that again so soon? Thirty two What if
(19:14):
anything is too serious to be joked about? Boy?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
I don't know if there is a topic for me
hardly but short.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
List no doubt? Yeah. Uh. Thirty three If you were
to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone,
what would you most regret not having told someone?
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
And why haven't you told them yet? Wow? I think
we're all gonna need a minute. Wow gitting for clemped? Yeah? Yeah, Okay.
Now when the two of you are both done crying,
you can continue with number thirty four. Your house containing
everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones
(19:58):
and pets, you have time to say, if we make
a final dash to save any one item, what would
it be and why it wouldn't be my fire extinguisher
because it didn't do me any good.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I assume you're not thinking about like your tax files
or birth certificates or something, or are you.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
You answer however you want? You're telling me how to answer.
You're too oppressive. Next, let's start again with question one.
He's telling me how to answer the questions.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
There'll probably be paperwork actually.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Boring.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, I know, but there's some things it would be
really really really really difficult to lose.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
The classic answer wedding photos, family pictures, a lot of
them are on the cloud.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Now yeah, yeah, wow.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Well, you know what's interesting about this question is you
can sit here and think about it, whereas the very
structure of the question implies you would have no time
to think about it. Wow. I don't even know the
answer to that question. It's like, it's a really interesting
question and worth the discussion in this context. But that's
like one of those you know, how would you react
(21:11):
if someone pulled a gun on you?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah? Well, the problem with this is, uh, a lot
of the answers could sound really shallow. I mean, if
I've got my loved ones out and everything like that,
and like if all important paperwork is in a safe,
which in my case it is, which bright survived the fire,
and then it's probably gonna be something kind of material.
I'm afraid I PlayStation five. Yeah, something like that. I
(21:33):
got a couple of guitars I'd hate to see burned up.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I was gonna say, I might grab my telecaster. It's
it's it's a totem of some of the best times
I've ever had. It was in my hand while I
was doing some of the things I've loved the most. Anyway, Uh,
but you know it's again, it's not it's not like
there's a right or wrong answer.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So there's a wrong answer. I'm sorry, that's the wrong answer.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Right my collection of iguana hide. I mean, the point
is that you're being intimate anyway. Moving along, second, last one,
thirty five of all the people in your family, whose
death would you find most disturbing? My god, what kind
of question is that? It's a question that only people
who are really, really close would deal with. Wow, this
(22:20):
is what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Because you pick one. You got to leave some people out, obviously.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
And then this is the last one. Share a personal
problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or
she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect
back to you how you seem to be feeling about
the problem. You have chosen. Oh, I get it. Okay,
So how would you handle this? And can you tell
(22:50):
how I feel about this problem? How? What? What are
you sensing from me when I describe this? So don't
just solve it for me. Understand what I'm really trying
to tell you.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Crab grass in the side yard.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Tried everything, I'd rip it up and resad and I
can tell you really hate crab grass.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
There we just gave you for instance.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
You know what you keep crabgrass mode? It looks great.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Yeah, well when I mode lawns, I mostly mode crab grass.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Honestly. Sure. Back in yeah, yeah, nobody had a lawn
worth a crab.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Everything was just mowed down weeds which looked pretty nice.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Actually yeah the crab huh no, no, no, next. So
there you have it. We will post that at Armstrong
and getty dot com, but under like hot links for
June the fifth, or can we give it like a banner,
you know, featured position? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I would like to run through those questions sometime in
my life. That sounds pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, we'll have our people get on that. Hope you
enjoyed it, and God bless you in your pursuits romantic,
professional and otherwise.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
And if you've got someone, go home and stare them
in the eye.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
If you could kill three people this afternoon and how
be detailed.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yeah, well I guess that's it.
Hosts And Creators
Joe Getty
Jack Armstrong
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