August 5, 2025 • 11 mins
On the Tuesday August 5, 2025 edition of The Armstrong & Getty One More Thing Podcast...
- First, a new jingle, celebrating one of Jack's more innocent quirks...
- Next, Joe brings us a new wedding trend!
Stupid Should Hurt: https://www.armstrongandgetty.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Condoms and condiments. It's one more thing. I'm marriage and mayonnaise.
Stay with us before we get to add a couple
of things. One picking up my son's first car today.
But so, we were looking at this car on Facebook
(00:23):
to truck. Actually, we're looking at this truck on Facebook Marketplace,
and I wanted to because he wants to do some
things to his vehicle once he starts working. He wants
to lower it and tint the windows. Because you gotta
be a cool kid. So I asked chat GPT, I said,
take this truck, the picture of it, and I said,
show it to me lowered with the windows tinted, And
in like ten seconds, it gave it to me.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I thought, that was so cool.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
It's just amazing that you can do that.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Wow, that's nuts, it is nuts.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
I did that recently. But the front of my home.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
I wanted to hang a flag in a particular spot,
went outside, took a picture in front of my house,
exact same thing, and I was like, having it done immediately.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Yeah, I had to remember that for stuff. Yeah, very handy.
So there are words I won't say I'm uncomfortable saying.
There are quite a few of them. I've mentioned on
the radio show. There was one today. Uh, Hanson put
together a bit about this. I haven't heard this yet.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yeah, just well, here we go. Tharson dildos. Farson dildos.
That's right. I won't see either one of those two words.
Jack Wong say Tharson dildos.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
He is making me so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Arsen dildo.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
I quit.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
That is just his way.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I won't say either one of those words. That there
are words too. But I'm picturing Hansen up like four
o'clock in the morning. Well, of course he's up there anyway,
but like all night long, produce it with wild red
rimmed eyes.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Producing those wacky songs all night long. So amused as
an alternate version.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
By the way, Okay, farts in dol dose, oh boy, martzenda.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
As the first. Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
The title of this story is a giant tub of
mayonnaise married my friends. Uh. It's it's about well it
would just whacky, but it's about sponsored weddings. Like if
you're Beyonce or one of your big influencers online, you'll
have like Dolce and Gabbana or Tiffany or somebody sponsor
your wedding and it'll be amazing and beautiful, and you'll,
(02:35):
you know, post online and everybody scratches. Everybody else does,
meaning like Tiffany might provide the ring because you're gonna
mention it and they feel like it's worth all the
jewelry or whatever, and you post a bunch of pictures
and yeah, it's a trade thing and and and pretty
pretty common on the super high end.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I'm an online presence thing.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
But this article is about like the second to fourth
tier of this, including this one couple. Heather and Nick
beat out three dozen other couples for a wedding officiated
by Manny Mayo, the Hellman's Mayonnaise mascot, and a giant
tub of mayonnaise actually presided over the ceremony for her friends.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
It's like a fairy tale reck sss.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
So that's interesting. So they're not organically famous, but they
came up with a wacky enough version you just mentioned
it here that it would get mentioned in news outlets
in the mayonnaise people recognize that. So if you can
be creative enough, you could come up with something.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Well yeah, yeah, they were actually recruited, but they got
a thirty minute ceremony, two hour party. Although the Unilever
that makes craft stuff, I guess, or Helman's, I should say,
handed down the dress code like an overbearing mother in law.
No neon, no wild patterns. They provided a palette of
acceptable Hellman's colors like I would imagine if I ever
(04:00):
got married again, I could say, we'll get married in
the Oscar Meyer Wiener mobile if you'll pay for them
wedding right right, yeah, And this is my favorite part.
We were given two weeks to get to Vegas a
strict dress code and had to waive our quote moral rights. What,
oh my god, what are they going to do to us?
I feel like I did that a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, a couple of nights I did, certainly. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
So uh. Anyway, they mentioned the average cost of a
wedding in twenty twenty five is thirty six thousand dollars
online wedding.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Planner blah blah blah.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Woh, and about thirty percent of couples cover the full
cost themselves.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
You know.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I was just talking to that about that with a
couple of friends who were of daughters getting married age,
and everybody agreed, let's have a nice wedding with close
friends and family. We'll throw a real nice party and
I'll write your check for fifty grand or whatever the
number is in your social circle. And instead of like
(05:05):
doing the fairy book princess thing. I know it sounds great,
but a down payment on a house.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Or even if you don't do that, just don't spend
the money on the fancy wedding and have a small
wedding and period, because there's no relationship between wedding opulence
and lifetime happiness, at least nobody's ever documented one.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Wow, that'd be a hell of a study to conduct.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I'd like to I'd be shocked. I'd be shocked if
it's not inversely related. Based on my life experience, Yeah,
I can't dispute that the more fancy the wedding, the
less likely they stay married or are happy.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
Katie, I had the big wedding, and you know, I mean,
I've been married for what almost I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I'm sure I didn't say that. No, there's not a
one to one relationship.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
I'm just thinking about I was thinking about the day itself,
and like the guests and all, like the things that
are still I mean, four years down the road, I
still have people that are hassling me.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Because they weren't invited.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Oh wow, and it makes me go Okay, Drew and
I totally could have done this with a small group,
and it would have been preferable, honestly, looking back.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
I know an acquaintance. So he and his wife were
headed down the road to a Biggish wedding which they
were going to pay for themselves. I paid for mind myself,
but they're going to pay for themselves. And at some
point he said to her like, do you think we
really ought to do this? And they completely changed gears,
Like wait, before they'd spend all the money, but they're
headed toward the whole thing, and they changed gears. And
(06:41):
they did it in their barn, on their property with
Kentucky Fried Chicken buckets, and like did it for hundreds
of dollars.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
But I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Well, you know, this is our prejudices coming to the fore.
But if a friend of mine announce said, or his
kids did or something that would be a positive to me,
absolutely I would think good for you.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
I wouldn't judge god, millionaires, anybody who would think how
embarrassing Kentucky Fried Chicken?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
What is wrong with you?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
No, what is embarrassing.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Is the chick that I know that just dropped easily
two hundred grand on a wedding that was embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Wouldn't be hard to do? Yeah? Oh wow, I'm going, well,
you got to have it to drop it off? Sure?
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
So this couple that had the mayonnaise wedding. In their application,
they revealed that they first bonded over their disdain for
dry sandwiches. I'm a sauceman, Heather told Nick. Not a transgender,
just a play on words there. From then on they
called themselves the Saucemans. Each Christmas, Heather makes a sauce
(07:47):
themed ornament for their tree, and in their application to
be married by a giant jar of mayonnaise, they showed
an onion ring being slipped on a chicken finger as
evidence of their commitment to each other.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
And it's just it, this just turned into something I
can't stand.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, it's too much.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
The whole thing just took a turn. Yeah, the Sauceman's
shut up.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Thirty seven couples applied, but my friend's application stood out.
This journalist rights for the unique and heartfelt roles sauces
play in their relationship.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
I think I was at a bar in Oakland in
the Bay Area one night, and it's kind of a
bit like a German bar, and they had all these
different spreads and mustards and whatnot. And the girl was
hassling the bar tender because one of this mustards was
not spicy and she had ordered a spicy mustard. And
I'll never forget it. She leaned over and she went,
trust me, we're sauce people.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
We're sauce people.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Yeah, I think that's that.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
That might this story might have triggered that to me.
But oh wow, we're sauce people.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I'd want to follow them home and study them for
a couple of weeks, study them at the university level.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
As a line on Seinfeld had.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
It, I don't live in this world. I've never lived
in this world, and I'm never going to live in
this world. But I do know people who live in
the world where if your daughter was getting married, it
would be you would considered a bad look on you.
If her wedding wasn't super fancy and expensive and all
your friends know it. I mean, that would be very
(09:30):
important to you. And if like somebody else in your
neighborhood had a fancier wedding.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You can't have that. Luckily, I don't have to compete.
It's so easy to not be involved in that sort
of stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
You can just like step out of that arena and
it's just I don't care. Do whatever you want. I'm
gonna do whatever I want. But some people are trapped
into that. I shouldn't say trapped. They seem to enjoy it,
but uh eh, semi trapped. So the giant Jarremene mayonnaise
steps up and says, like chicken tender dip and chicken tenders,
marriage is a beautiful union of two special.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Flavors that just work together, all right. The audience erupted
with a genuine awe.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Was it genuine?
Speaker 3 (10:10):
What do you think of my plan of Uh, I
get married again and we do it in the Oscar
wienermobile if they pay.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
For it in it or like in front of it.
We've been in it.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
I don't think there's room in it. I guess it'd
be in front of it.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I think that's an antediotic, in demeaning idea. On top
of it, you write it in, Yeah, that's it. You
write it down the aisle, you get out of it.
And then a guy in a Wiener suit does the
slide down a bun shaped slide right to the altar.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I don't think any house.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
A god would allow that abomination to occur.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
What alter What am I talking about? How about this?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
In a moment, you may kiss the bride, but before
you do, let me tell everyone about the Jiffy Lube
Oil special. Well, I guess that's it.
Condoms and condiments. It's one more thing. I'm marriage and mayonnaise.
Stay with us before we get to add a couple
of things. One picking up my son's first car today.
But so, we were looking at this car on Facebook
(00:23):
to truck. Actually, we're looking at this truck on Facebook Marketplace,
and I wanted to because he wants to do some
things to his vehicle once he starts working. He wants
to lower it and tint the windows. Because you gotta
be a cool kid. So I asked chat GPT, I said,
take this truck, the picture of it, and I said,
show it to me lowered with the windows tinted, And
in like ten seconds, it gave it to me.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I thought, that was so cool.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
It's just amazing that you can do that.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Wow, that's nuts, it is nuts.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
I did that recently. But the front of my home.
Speaker 5 (00:51):
I wanted to hang a flag in a particular spot,
went outside, took a picture in front of my house,
exact same thing, and I was like, having it done immediately.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Yeah, I had to remember that for stuff. Yeah, very handy.
So there are words I won't say I'm uncomfortable saying.
There are quite a few of them. I've mentioned on
the radio show. There was one today. Uh, Hanson put
together a bit about this. I haven't heard this yet.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Yeah, just well, here we go. Tharson dildos. Farson dildos.
That's right. I won't see either one of those two words.
Jack Wong say Tharson dildos.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
He is making me so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Arsen dildo.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
I quit.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
That is just his way.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I won't say either one of those words. That there
are words too. But I'm picturing Hansen up like four
o'clock in the morning. Well, of course he's up there anyway,
but like all night long, produce it with wild red
rimmed eyes.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Producing those wacky songs all night long. So amused as
an alternate version.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
By the way, Okay, farts in dol dose, oh boy, martzenda.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
As the first. Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
The title of this story is a giant tub of
mayonnaise married my friends. Uh. It's it's about well it
would just whacky, but it's about sponsored weddings. Like if
you're Beyonce or one of your big influencers online, you'll
have like Dolce and Gabbana or Tiffany or somebody sponsor
your wedding and it'll be amazing and beautiful, and you'll,
(02:35):
you know, post online and everybody scratches. Everybody else does,
meaning like Tiffany might provide the ring because you're gonna
mention it and they feel like it's worth all the
jewelry or whatever, and you post a bunch of pictures
and yeah, it's a trade thing and and and pretty
pretty common on the super high end.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
I'm an online presence thing.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
But this article is about like the second to fourth
tier of this, including this one couple. Heather and Nick
beat out three dozen other couples for a wedding officiated
by Manny Mayo, the Hellman's Mayonnaise mascot, and a giant
tub of mayonnaise actually presided over the ceremony for her friends.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
It's like a fairy tale reck sss.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
So that's interesting. So they're not organically famous, but they
came up with a wacky enough version you just mentioned
it here that it would get mentioned in news outlets
in the mayonnaise people recognize that. So if you can
be creative enough, you could come up with something.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Well yeah, yeah, they were actually recruited, but they got
a thirty minute ceremony, two hour party. Although the Unilever
that makes craft stuff, I guess, or Helman's, I should say,
handed down the dress code like an overbearing mother in law.
No neon, no wild patterns. They provided a palette of
acceptable Hellman's colors like I would imagine if I ever
(04:00):
got married again, I could say, we'll get married in
the Oscar Meyer Wiener mobile if you'll pay for them
wedding right right, yeah, And this is my favorite part.
We were given two weeks to get to Vegas a
strict dress code and had to waive our quote moral rights. What,
oh my god, what are they going to do to us?
I feel like I did that a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, a couple of nights I did, certainly. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
So uh. Anyway, they mentioned the average cost of a
wedding in twenty twenty five is thirty six thousand dollars
online wedding.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Planner blah blah blah.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Woh, and about thirty percent of couples cover the full
cost themselves.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
You know.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I was just talking to that about that with a
couple of friends who were of daughters getting married age,
and everybody agreed, let's have a nice wedding with close
friends and family. We'll throw a real nice party and
I'll write your check for fifty grand or whatever the
number is in your social circle. And instead of like
(05:05):
doing the fairy book princess thing. I know it sounds great,
but a down payment on a house.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Or even if you don't do that, just don't spend
the money on the fancy wedding and have a small
wedding and period, because there's no relationship between wedding opulence
and lifetime happiness, at least nobody's ever documented one.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Wow, that'd be a hell of a study to conduct.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I'd like to I'd be shocked. I'd be shocked if
it's not inversely related. Based on my life experience, Yeah,
I can't dispute that the more fancy the wedding, the
less likely they stay married or are happy.
Speaker 5 (05:47):
Katie, I had the big wedding, and you know, I mean,
I've been married for what almost I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I'm sure I didn't say that. No, there's not a
one to one relationship.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
I'm just thinking about I was thinking about the day itself,
and like the guests and all, like the things that
are still I mean, four years down the road, I
still have people that are hassling me.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Because they weren't invited.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Oh wow, and it makes me go Okay, Drew and
I totally could have done this with a small group,
and it would have been preferable, honestly, looking back.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
I know an acquaintance. So he and his wife were
headed down the road to a Biggish wedding which they
were going to pay for themselves. I paid for mind myself,
but they're going to pay for themselves. And at some
point he said to her like, do you think we
really ought to do this? And they completely changed gears,
Like wait, before they'd spend all the money, but they're
headed toward the whole thing, and they changed gears. And
(06:41):
they did it in their barn, on their property with
Kentucky Fried Chicken buckets, and like did it for hundreds
of dollars.
Speaker 4 (06:48):
Awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
But I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Well, you know, this is our prejudices coming to the fore.
But if a friend of mine announce said, or his
kids did or something that would be a positive to me,
absolutely I would think good for you.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
I wouldn't judge god, millionaires, anybody who would think how
embarrassing Kentucky Fried Chicken?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
What is wrong with you?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
No, what is embarrassing.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Is the chick that I know that just dropped easily
two hundred grand on a wedding that was embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Wouldn't be hard to do? Yeah? Oh wow, I'm going, well,
you got to have it to drop it off? Sure?
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
So this couple that had the mayonnaise wedding. In their application,
they revealed that they first bonded over their disdain for
dry sandwiches. I'm a sauceman, Heather told Nick. Not a transgender,
just a play on words there. From then on they
called themselves the Saucemans. Each Christmas, Heather makes a sauce
(07:47):
themed ornament for their tree, and in their application to
be married by a giant jar of mayonnaise, they showed
an onion ring being slipped on a chicken finger as
evidence of their commitment to each other.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
And it's just it, this just turned into something I
can't stand.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, it's too much.
Speaker 5 (08:06):
The whole thing just took a turn. Yeah, the Sauceman's
shut up.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Thirty seven couples applied, but my friend's application stood out.
This journalist rights for the unique and heartfelt roles sauces
play in their relationship.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
I think I was at a bar in Oakland in
the Bay Area one night, and it's kind of a
bit like a German bar, and they had all these
different spreads and mustards and whatnot. And the girl was
hassling the bar tender because one of this mustards was
not spicy and she had ordered a spicy mustard. And
I'll never forget it. She leaned over and she went,
trust me, we're sauce people.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
We're sauce people.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
Yeah, I think that's that.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
That might this story might have triggered that to me.
But oh wow, we're sauce people.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I'd want to follow them home and study them for
a couple of weeks, study them at the university level.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
As a line on Seinfeld had.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
It, I don't live in this world. I've never lived
in this world, and I'm never going to live in
this world. But I do know people who live in
the world where if your daughter was getting married, it
would be you would considered a bad look on you.
If her wedding wasn't super fancy and expensive and all
your friends know it. I mean, that would be very
(09:30):
important to you. And if like somebody else in your
neighborhood had a fancier wedding.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You can't have that. Luckily, I don't have to compete.
It's so easy to not be involved in that sort
of stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
You can just like step out of that arena and
it's just I don't care. Do whatever you want. I'm
gonna do whatever I want. But some people are trapped
into that. I shouldn't say trapped. They seem to enjoy it,
but uh eh, semi trapped. So the giant Jarremene mayonnaise
steps up and says, like chicken tender dip and chicken tenders,
marriage is a beautiful union of two special.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Flavors that just work together, all right. The audience erupted
with a genuine awe.
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Was it genuine?
Speaker 3 (10:10):
What do you think of my plan of Uh, I
get married again and we do it in the Oscar
wienermobile if they pay.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
For it in it or like in front of it.
We've been in it.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
I don't think there's room in it. I guess it'd
be in front of it.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I think that's an antediotic, in demeaning idea. On top
of it, you write it in, Yeah, that's it. You
write it down the aisle, you get out of it.
And then a guy in a Wiener suit does the
slide down a bun shaped slide right to the altar.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I don't think any house.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
A god would allow that abomination to occur.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
What alter What am I talking about? How about this?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
In a moment, you may kiss the bride, but before
you do, let me tell everyone about the Jiffy Lube
Oil special. Well, I guess that's it.
Hosts And Creators
Joe Getty
Jack Armstrong
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