A Weekend At Bernies Is Fine by Me!

More details regarding a story about a loving niece and her beloved uncle.  

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Weekend. It Bernie's is fine with me. It's one more thing.
I'm strong, and one more thing before we get to that.
In Macab's story. I just saw this headline Prince William
has resumed his royal duties for the first time since
the announcement of his wife's cancer.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Neat why there are layers that don't give a crap
I need to penetrate to comment on this.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
Neat something that there's a mechanism involved where you like
have suspended your royal duties and that that is noted
by anyone anywhere like that somebody write that down or something,
and then you resume your royal duties and then that
is a noted occurrence also.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
And were the royal duties just entirely undone during that
period or was there some duke who filled in?

Speaker 3 (00:52):
How does that work?

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Again? I don't care, right right? Did some duke fill in?
Or do you have like a backlog of royal duties
to get caught up on and you're just when you're
gonna get your ass kicked this spring trying to catch
up on your royal duties that you missed.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
As I mentioned, right, this like when you take vacation
you gotta bust your ass for a week before you leave.
Then the week you get back is a night. There's
so many royal duties. I was I mentioned during the
show I'm rewatching The Darkest Hour the Gary Oldman is
Winston Churchill movie very good?

Speaker 1 (01:23):
But did he want to Oscar for that? I know
he was nominating like he did? He was good.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yeah, but the whole relationship between the government, the civilian
government and the crown is so interesting too, right, I
am asking you to form a government.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
All right, Okay, I would answer like Katie neat.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
All right.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Anyway, let me get let me get to the dead
body here. So Katie brought us his headline earlier in
the show. Now I have the details. It's really something
in the headline being a woman in Brazil was arrested
after she attempted to get a dead body in a
wheelchair to sign for a loan.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
I was on Twitter or x or whatever the hell
it's called now when this video went viral. So I
saw the unedited version, because now it's been blurred all
over the place. This guy was dead dead like oh
not just not just like just dead, but like megadead.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Oh, really been dead. A while. Maybe not. Can you
be more precise?

Speaker 5 (02:22):
Not?

Speaker 4 (02:23):
Riga mortis dead because she was able to kind of
move him around.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
But he was dead, super dead. So here we go.
Woman in Brazil arrested Tuesday suspension of theft by fraud
and violating a corpse. You know, as I've said many times,
when I'm dead, you can do whatever you want to me.
Don't charge with the crime. I don't care. It doesn't
make any difference. I mean, you're a little weird, but

(02:47):
you violated me in any way. I don't care.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Let me get a couple of licks in just you know,
work out some frustrations.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
Jack Pinata.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
After she after she brought her dead uncle to a
bank to sign a loan agreement. She had raised suspicion
after she entered the small bank there in Rio with
a man in a wheelchair who she called her uncle.
Well that's not that would why would that raise suspicion?
That's not weird. The woman, and they give her name here,
which I can't pronounce, reportedly told the clerk that they

(03:20):
were to sign off on this seventeen thousand reass loan.
That's the all and fifty dollars and security Cambridge footage
which Katie has seen. The woman can be seen picking
up the man's hand and repositioning his head to try
to get him to sign the document in front of him.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
This guy's head was flopping all over the place. Oh
my forward, backward, mouth open. And then she finally gets
irritated enough to just get a grip on the back
of his neck, and she's holding him steady. With the
other hand, she's trying to pick up his arm and
get it to hold the pen.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Good, good, plot, And you say that didn't work.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
His head's going all over the place. Oh yeah, uh,
can be picking up the hand reposition. He said, uncle,
are you listening? You need to sign. If you don't sign,
there's no way because I can't sign for you. She
can be heard saying on the audio.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
I will just steady your hand.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
All right, uncle, are you listening? You need to sign.
He doesn't say anything. That's just how he is. She
tells the clerk when he doesn't reply, if you're not okay,
I'm going to take you to the hospital. But the
man's don't bother. The man's unresponsive nature and lolling head,
as described as a kata green caused concern among bank employees,

(04:45):
who called local ambulance services. Dude is megadad on arriving
the doctor's confirmed the sixty year old man had been
dead for quite some time. His body was taken directly
to a morgue, and she's been arrested. Creative idea. Her
lawyers are arguing, no, no, no, no, he was fine.
He must have died in the wheelchair as I was

(05:06):
rolling into the bank, because you must before he signed,
because we talked about this, or right out on the
sidewalk before I rolled him in, And he must have
died right beforehand.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
And I just didn't notice, not an effing chance, not
any is you know.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
He was never that energetic in life, so I didn't
notice the difference.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
And his eyes just naturally sunk into his head like that.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
He always looked that Oho Mega did preliminary preliminary friendsic
analysis says he had died at least several hours before
the uh trying to sign for the loan, if not longer.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yeah, but if your uncle Enrique kicks it, I mean,
just between you to decide, all right, we're going in
on this loan together. An he croaks just before you
go to the bank. It's frustrating, it's inconvenient. I say,
we stick with plan A and see how it goes.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Well, you come up with a workaround. That's what that is.
It's a work around. Now you try not to let
his head flop all over and you lift his hand up.

Speaker 5 (06:02):
There.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
As big a hit as Weekend at Bernie's was, it's
amazing to me that dragging a corpse around comedy didn't
become a more important genre.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Right, there's only one movie to refer to, that one,
or like a whole bunch of them.

Speaker 2 (06:16):
I mean, American Pie spawned dozens of imitators, for instance,
right exactly, There.

Speaker 4 (06:20):
Was a few years ago where the Weekend at Bernie's
Funeral went viral?

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Do you guys remember that? I don't know that, I
do the headline.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
There were like a series of funerals. I think BuzzFeed
did like an article about it and compiled a list
of people that instead of just having like a regular
visitation or whatever, had themselves like dressed and propped up
with like cigarettes put in their hands, and they were
like that, and the families were coming up and like
taking pictures with them. And there was another one that

(06:49):
was a weightlifter and they actually attached their hands to
like a deadlift.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
Oh you see.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
It depends on the situation though, clearly, because like my
friends would think it was fine. Yeah, but my kids
might not. I hope you know. It depends on relationship
with who it is.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
So I'm picturing all right.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
I mean if you had me sitting in a chair
with my telecaster in my lap, right, you know that's
not bad? Or maybe like some reclimbing down the couch
with a half empty Scotch next to me, like I
was watching a golf tournament and fell asleep.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
Would my wife would appreciate that one?

Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, well, yeah, I guess it depends, but yeah I
could see that. Yeah. Well yeah, there's a lot of
caveats to the whole idea, I suppose. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
The weightlifting one got my attention though, because the way
that they have her her propped up and then they
have a bench press over her face like she's about
to just do a big old lift.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
I can't decide if this idea is is more charming
or horrifying. I keep going back and forth.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
Right, is it like you want to see him more
like like he lived?

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Huh?

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Or I guess that could be charming, yesh, or it's horrifying. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
You know. One thing that I'm in favor of is
like for an obituary or a memorial service or something
like that. I don't like it when they have like
the most recent picture when the person is ancient, because
as anybody past the age of fifty especially can tell
you in your heart, your soul, who you are is

(08:33):
your young self and you just have aches and pains
and more memories and a little more wisdom and that
sort of thing. But the old dude is kind of
a stranger, Like, how the hell did that happen? So
I just when they were youngest, vital, most vital, energetic,
when they were forming who they are.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
Give me that picture.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah. New York Times is good at that. They use
you and your prime picture for all their obituaries of
famous people like I see him Sunday in the New
York Times book review whatever author died, and they have
their when they were, you know, a hot sexy woman
or a cool young guy or whatever or whatever they
were that had so much to do with the things
you wrote, not like just an old person. Yeah, the

(09:15):
time of their life they look back on fondly. Yeah,
and what they probably became famous for. Now we're not
talking just about famous people, but like in yeah, and
just for everybody. I agree.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Now, I've kind of been a doey dipshit from age
twelve through the grave, so it would be easier for me.
But yes, yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Was gonna say, what what point do I get to
choose ahead of time? What point? Because like, you know,
we'll pick him a when was he young and vital?
High school? Here's a good high school picture.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Noah, I don't want that young but not vital.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Let's keep looking.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
I'm writing down my new favorite slam a doey dip shit.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, there, you're a doey dip shit, aren't you?

Speaker 5 (09:54):
All right? For my funeral, I'm gonna do radio stuff.
I'm gonna have open casket with me sitting up with
headphones on my head holding.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Up three fingers exactly.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
Counting us down, and a lot of Jack and Joe
there screaming at you, and.

Speaker 5 (10:07):
Then oh, oh hey hey, and then you can donate
money to pay any FCC fines.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
So we did. We would say, I don't know why
we're assuming well, we're going to outlive you because I
don't think we are. We would be there and saying,
just where's the clip, Michael, just for old times sake,
that would be great.

Speaker 3 (10:26):
No clip forty two forty two. Oh wait, that's right,
he's past. God rest his soul.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Well, I guess that's it.