November 20, 2025 • 10 mins
Star Trek's William Shatner's embarrassment leads to some fine story telling from Jack & Joe...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Captain. That is illogical. It's one more thing.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
One more thing.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
That was a reference to the TV show Star Track
that doesn't really have any Star Trek Trek that they
tracked that doesn't really have anything to do with this.
Although this is William Shatner, who became famous playing Captain
Kirk in Star Trek and has since then become a
national beloved hero. For some reason, he's just the most
(00:28):
likable people on earth. Is but he told this disgusting
story the other day.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Now, I'm.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
One man shot and all of a sudden, I have
to go. In fact, I'm going to use.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So I said, I've been a technical typically and I'll
be right back, and I lost it. Ident finished the
show and it was very successful.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
He crapped his pants apparently on stage the opening night
of his Broadway show.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
He's been in multiple Broadway show is this recently as
a ninety year older.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
And furthermore, Oh, he's secretly friends with mister spock Off
the set all but Sulu was a pain in the ass.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
God, that sounded like something when you ride public transit
and they tell.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
You the next stop. Should never understand that. Yeah, So
his story is he was on stage for the opening
night and he actually defecated his pants.
Speaker 5 (01:39):
You get it.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
That's a good one, Katie. How long did you have
that one in the holster? That's a good one. Thirty seconds? Yeah,
I was waiting. Anyways, we were going to go with
embarrassing things you've done, like on stage or in public.
I've never done that, thank god. But I have two
that stand out in my mind. The first f one
is like not on stage. It was in a big
(02:02):
college class and I had to do a presentation and
for some reason, and this was a great lesson in life.
I'm glad. I hate to think about it because it
makes me feel pain when I think about it. It
was a great lesson in life. For some reason, I
thought I could wing this presentation without much prep and
it was horrible. And I was well aware, like two
(02:29):
minutes into this half hour talk that I was not ready.
I hadn't prepared. I should have prepared. I wasn't doing well.
People were you know, you can just tell by the audience.
If you've ever been on stage, you can tell by
the audience when they're not paying attention or digging it,
or they smell the fear. Yeah, and you get this
that's such a terrible feeling. It is, but it was
(02:51):
a good thing. I'm glad I did it when I
was twenty eight three years old. You can't always wing it.
You can't always wing it, even if you're pretty good
at winging it, like I am, you can't always wing it.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
That would wing it, bring it. We had a T
shirt that said that at one point we did. Yes,
it's got an eagle flying around the boy.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I didn't that day. It's funny, funny how things like
that stick out of your mind. I can picture it
was my It was actually my professor's wife, who I
really liked because I was dating their daughter. Uh. I
liked mom and dad, and then he was my my adviser.
And his wife was in the class and she could
tell I hadn't prepared, and it was just oh, it
(03:31):
was just devastating to me. The girlfriend's parents witnessed this, Yeah,
that was tough. She lost her virginity. To me, they
can't have me, Beven, the guy that just up there rambling.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
On God, this is a sordid tale.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well, my one other this is a radio event. I
was the MC for this fashion show and whoever he
put the cards together that I was supposed to read.
You get a stack of cards, and one girl would
go up there at the time at a time in
the different outfits, and the cards were out of order
and I and I didn't have a good view of
the stage or whatever, so I'd be reading the obviously
wrong outfit. And in one in particular, this chick goes
(04:10):
up in her bikini, who ended up being my girlfriend
later that summer. But she goes up in her bikini,
I'd saying, winter weear is the best way to combat snow.
As you can see here, these boots will get you.
And she's just standing there, and the crowd was like booing,
and it got worse than went along. People were booing
and laughing, throwing back their heads and laughter, pointing at me, Oh,
(04:31):
it's horrible. Look at this again, exactly Shackass on stage.
Oh god, that was horrible. Well that rends so mad
when I walked up there, the f I can imagine.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Oh oh yeah, what was that event that we were
forced to don bicycle riding gear?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Was it like the first year the tour to California.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
We must have been lower in our career to have
done that, though, Oh yeah. Early, they sent us into
a room to get changed. We had to wear bike
shorts and bike shirts skin to bake like.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I'm a Tour de France guy style, and they're totally
the wrong size.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
And we had to walk out in front of a
big group of people. We were like modeling them.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Yeah, oh how a terrible look like a sausage speaking
for myself in an ill fitting casing.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Oh, I hated that a lot. I'm glad there are
no pictures or videos. If that had happened now, there'd
be twenty different YouTube videos that people put the like
us to music.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
And oh yeah, barnyard sounds.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
What'd you say, Michael, Oh, using ai with those? Yeah,
that'd be awesome.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Oh yeah, go ahead if you want. Uh, you know
it's funny. That was right, well, because that was early
in our careers where we would like say yes to
everything and be super nice and cooperative because it is
such an incredible slog to get anywhere in the radio business,
podcasting business now both. But I think it was I
got home that night and I thought, no, I'm gonna
start telling people laugh off or at least just saying no,
(06:04):
this is ridiculous. No, people don't have our best interests
at heart. They're just using us.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So no, not a dancing monkey, no exactly.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Yeah, not a good look.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Luckily, Katie has never embarrassed herself in public, so we
don't have to. No, I wish that was true.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Yeah, it was a mistake, but a stupid mistake. I
used to be on a TV show and I was
sick as a dog the taping day and we would
do three episodes in a row. So I would do
an episode, go change, then we you know, would shoot
for the next week. And so in order to suppress
my cough, I had a bottle of robitussin underneath down
(06:44):
by my feet that I would just like take a
swig out of.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
You know.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
Well I didn't.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
What was the show Housewives of Marine County? That was it?
Speaker 5 (06:52):
That was it?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
And so halfway through, like the third episode, I'm like,
I don't I feel off, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Whatever, And my producer comes up to me.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
He's like, are you hammered, Like what are you And
I was like, no, I've just been I mean I've
been taking swigs of rope. But he's like, you idiot,
you can absolutely get drunk on cop I had no
idea you get drunk on cops are at all?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Oh yeah, you're sucking down to purple dry. I was,
so you were noticeably hammered. I was noticeable.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Well yeah, I mean, I I mean I was probably
I was. I had a fever and like I was
just not okay. I was telling veryble to just stay
away from me, and so I couldn't tell if it
was like the fever or what. But he was like, dude,
you are You're messed up.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And I was like, oh boy.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
I have never I that was probably the lowest most
mortified I'd been because there was a studio full of
people and I'm just DJ.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
For some reason. When Joe yelled piss on a lantern
from that Joe Crown.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Oh that was that was really really there in our
We were all fired up at some rally for it
was a giant New Year's Eve celebration. It was like
a their version of a ball drop for New Year's Eve.
And you were saying we were in Charlotte, and you
were saying, they say, Charlotte's gonna be the next Aleta. Well,
pits on at Ladda. I must have been fealed by
the grape and we were in a c station. I mean,
(08:19):
you didn't talk like that. There are kids in the
minivan station.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Oh that did not go overwhelmed.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It did not hilarious.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Everybody acting like that was oh no, oh no, this
is bad.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
You know, we talked about Katie's talking about getting drunkn
cough medicine. I also did that as a child in preschool.
I was about five years old, and I got a
hold of the stuff because it tasted like grape, and
so I guess I was drinking it as a kid.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
And that scissor Michael bo Yeah, all doing the scissor.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
So the teacher calls my mom and says, we don't
know what's wrong with your son. He keeps laughing and
laughing and laughing, and it turns.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Out I got a buzz on. There's nothing.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
They take me to the doctor. Doctor says, your child
is drunk.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
And then.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Oh my god, yeah that is so unlike your child
is drunk.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Yeah, he really lectured my mom. According to my mom,
about you know the danger of medicine and alcohol in it.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Did you take it to school? Yes, I took it
to school.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
So he's just hitting it through.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I thought it was delicious, you know.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And there's only way, on one way I can put
up with this boring ship. That's another hit of the
Scissor special juice by one. And you, here's what my
problem is with you. Here, a crayon pack in your
lives turns aggressive drunk.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
At least that was a happy drunk.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
He got mucus coming out of your nose. What's the
matter with you? Well, I guess that's it.
Captain. That is illogical. It's one more thing.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
One more thing.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
That was a reference to the TV show Star Track
that doesn't really have any Star Trek Trek that they
tracked that doesn't really have anything to do with this.
Although this is William Shatner, who became famous playing Captain
Kirk in Star Trek and has since then become a
national beloved hero. For some reason, he's just the most
(00:28):
likable people on earth. Is but he told this disgusting
story the other day.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Now, I'm.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
One man shot and all of a sudden, I have
to go. In fact, I'm going to use.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
So I said, I've been a technical typically and I'll
be right back, and I lost it. Ident finished the
show and it was very successful.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
He crapped his pants apparently on stage the opening night
of his Broadway show.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
He's been in multiple Broadway show is this recently as
a ninety year older.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
And furthermore, Oh, he's secretly friends with mister spock Off
the set all but Sulu was a pain in the ass.
Speaker 5 (01:24):
God, that sounded like something when you ride public transit
and they tell.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
You the next stop. Should never understand that. Yeah, So
his story is he was on stage for the opening
night and he actually defecated his pants.
Speaker 5 (01:39):
You get it.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
That's a good one, Katie. How long did you have
that one in the holster? That's a good one. Thirty seconds? Yeah,
I was waiting. Anyways, we were going to go with
embarrassing things you've done, like on stage or in public.
I've never done that, thank god. But I have two
that stand out in my mind. The first f one
is like not on stage. It was in a big
(02:02):
college class and I had to do a presentation and
for some reason, and this was a great lesson in life.
I'm glad. I hate to think about it because it
makes me feel pain when I think about it. It
was a great lesson in life. For some reason, I
thought I could wing this presentation without much prep and
it was horrible. And I was well aware, like two
(02:29):
minutes into this half hour talk that I was not ready.
I hadn't prepared. I should have prepared. I wasn't doing well.
People were you know, you can just tell by the audience.
If you've ever been on stage, you can tell by
the audience when they're not paying attention or digging it,
or they smell the fear. Yeah, and you get this
that's such a terrible feeling. It is, but it was
(02:51):
a good thing. I'm glad I did it when I
was twenty eight three years old. You can't always wing it.
You can't always wing it, even if you're pretty good
at winging it, like I am, you can't always wing it.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
That would wing it, bring it. We had a T
shirt that said that at one point we did. Yes,
it's got an eagle flying around the boy.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I didn't that day. It's funny, funny how things like
that stick out of your mind. I can picture it
was my It was actually my professor's wife, who I
really liked because I was dating their daughter. Uh. I
liked mom and dad, and then he was my my adviser.
And his wife was in the class and she could
tell I hadn't prepared, and it was just oh, it
(03:31):
was just devastating to me. The girlfriend's parents witnessed this, Yeah,
that was tough. She lost her virginity. To me, they
can't have me, Beven, the guy that just up there rambling.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
On God, this is a sordid tale.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Well, my one other this is a radio event. I
was the MC for this fashion show and whoever he
put the cards together that I was supposed to read.
You get a stack of cards, and one girl would
go up there at the time at a time in
the different outfits, and the cards were out of order
and I and I didn't have a good view of
the stage or whatever, so I'd be reading the obviously
wrong outfit. And in one in particular, this chick goes
(04:10):
up in her bikini, who ended up being my girlfriend
later that summer. But she goes up in her bikini,
I'd saying, winter weear is the best way to combat snow.
As you can see here, these boots will get you.
And she's just standing there, and the crowd was like booing,
and it got worse than went along. People were booing
and laughing, throwing back their heads and laughter, pointing at me, Oh,
(04:31):
it's horrible. Look at this again, exactly Shackass on stage.
Oh god, that was horrible. Well that rends so mad
when I walked up there, the f I can imagine.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Oh oh yeah, what was that event that we were
forced to don bicycle riding gear?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Was it like the first year the tour to California.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
We must have been lower in our career to have
done that, though, Oh yeah. Early, they sent us into
a room to get changed. We had to wear bike
shorts and bike shirts skin to bake like.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I'm a Tour de France guy style, and they're totally
the wrong size.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
And we had to walk out in front of a
big group of people. We were like modeling them.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Yeah, oh how a terrible look like a sausage speaking
for myself in an ill fitting casing.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Oh, I hated that a lot. I'm glad there are
no pictures or videos. If that had happened now, there'd
be twenty different YouTube videos that people put the like
us to music.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
And oh yeah, barnyard sounds.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
What'd you say, Michael, Oh, using ai with those? Yeah,
that'd be awesome.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Oh yeah, go ahead if you want. Uh, you know
it's funny. That was right, well, because that was early
in our careers where we would like say yes to
everything and be super nice and cooperative because it is
such an incredible slog to get anywhere in the radio business,
podcasting business now both. But I think it was I
got home that night and I thought, no, I'm gonna
start telling people laugh off or at least just saying no,
(06:04):
this is ridiculous. No, people don't have our best interests
at heart. They're just using us.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
So no, not a dancing monkey, no exactly.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Yeah, not a good look.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Luckily, Katie has never embarrassed herself in public, so we
don't have to. No, I wish that was true.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
Yeah, it was a mistake, but a stupid mistake. I
used to be on a TV show and I was
sick as a dog the taping day and we would
do three episodes in a row. So I would do
an episode, go change, then we you know, would shoot
for the next week. And so in order to suppress
my cough, I had a bottle of robitussin underneath down
(06:44):
by my feet that I would just like take a
swig out of.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
You know.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
Well I didn't.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
What was the show Housewives of Marine County? That was it?
Speaker 5 (06:52):
That was it?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
And so halfway through, like the third episode, I'm like,
I don't I feel off, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Whatever, And my producer comes up to me.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
He's like, are you hammered, Like what are you And
I was like, no, I've just been I mean I've
been taking swigs of rope. But he's like, you idiot,
you can absolutely get drunk on cop I had no
idea you get drunk on cops are at all?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Oh yeah, you're sucking down to purple dry. I was,
so you were noticeably hammered. I was noticeable.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Well yeah, I mean, I I mean I was probably
I was. I had a fever and like I was
just not okay. I was telling veryble to just stay
away from me, and so I couldn't tell if it
was like the fever or what. But he was like, dude,
you are You're messed up.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
And I was like, oh boy.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
I have never I that was probably the lowest most
mortified I'd been because there was a studio full of
people and I'm just DJ.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
For some reason. When Joe yelled piss on a lantern
from that Joe Crown.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Oh that was that was really really there in our
We were all fired up at some rally for it
was a giant New Year's Eve celebration. It was like
a their version of a ball drop for New Year's Eve.
And you were saying we were in Charlotte, and you
were saying, they say, Charlotte's gonna be the next Aleta. Well,
pits on at Ladda. I must have been fealed by
the grape and we were in a c station. I mean,
(08:19):
you didn't talk like that. There are kids in the
minivan station.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Oh that did not go overwhelmed.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
It did not hilarious.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Everybody acting like that was oh no, oh no, this
is bad.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
You know, we talked about Katie's talking about getting drunkn
cough medicine. I also did that as a child in preschool.
I was about five years old, and I got a
hold of the stuff because it tasted like grape, and
so I guess I was drinking it as a kid.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
And that scissor Michael bo Yeah, all doing the scissor.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
So the teacher calls my mom and says, we don't
know what's wrong with your son. He keeps laughing and
laughing and laughing, and it turns.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Out I got a buzz on. There's nothing.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
They take me to the doctor. Doctor says, your child
is drunk.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
And then.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Oh my god, yeah that is so unlike your child
is drunk.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Yeah, he really lectured my mom. According to my mom,
about you know the danger of medicine and alcohol in it.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Did you take it to school? Yes, I took it
to school.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
So he's just hitting it through.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I thought it was delicious, you know.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And there's only way, on one way I can put
up with this boring ship. That's another hit of the
Scissor special juice by one. And you, here's what my
problem is with you. Here, a crayon pack in your
lives turns aggressive drunk.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
At least that was a happy drunk.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
He got mucus coming out of your nose. What's the
matter with you? Well, I guess that's it.
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Joe Getty
Jack Armstrong
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