Close Your Mouth, Please!

MichaelAngelo needs help dealing with a gentleman at his local gym!  

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Close your mouth please, it's one more thing.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
This is one of your rare Michaelangelo has taken it
in One More Thing podcasts.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Yeah, is he referring to Senile Biden with his mouth
hanging open or somebody chewing or what?

Speaker 2 (00:20):
A friend of mine said that about their elderly dad
who he loves the other day, Like what age does
your mouth start hanging open? He said, I'm not looking
forward to that. The ravages of age. Oh, it's so hard,
I'm not looking forward to it. I'm going to get
a strap around my head that hold it up or something.

Speaker 4 (00:37):
Like you just had surgery and we'll tie at the top.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Anyway, what are you talking about, Michael.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
I'm talking about Jim Etiquette. And I don't know quite
how to handle this. Uh So I have to go
to gym because I have type two diabetes.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Gym Jim, Yeah, gym Jim Etiquette as you call him
Jim or James, depending on what they want.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
So, yeah, working out, And I know you and you
go to the gym with your kids, and I know
Katie goes to the gym, and so I.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Go to the gym. I wasn't leaving you out, well
you left me out. You literally left me out. What
do you mean you're not? Apparently apparently it doesn't show.
I was saving the best always. I'm strong like bull.
Are you kidding? Joe? You look great? That was rude Jack,
Thanks Katie. I'm I'm freaking ripped. Look at those guns.
Like if I say to somebody, I was at the

(01:24):
gym the other day, you go to the gym.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
What sort of jim like James whatever it was? Anyway
there there you were at the gym, mich light, I think, right.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Yeah, So I'm on a gym machine and then there's
a guy to the right of me and he's working out,
but he's a bit of a mouth breather, so he
really excels. And the problem is he has the worst
breath I have ever.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
So okay, and it's breath.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Yes, I am like two machines away from him, and
it is so bad.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
That's there's something wrong there. They need to get to
a doctor. Might have been intervening in a medical situation.
If there are two machines away and you can smell
their breath.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Oh yeah, in mister hal etosis right over there, Are
you kidding me?

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:10):
The guy's got the rotten gums. That's what's happening there.
That's what halatosis is. Mostly, it's it's bacterial infections and
decay of your gums.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Give us an overall look other than his breath. What
do you look like? What age you fit or not?
Older man?

Speaker 1 (02:24):
I'd say probably in this fifties. Normal guy, I mean
decent shape, but just terrible.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
And normal guy who smells like a dung heap.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah, And I could not continue my workout because it
smelled so bad it was making me sick. And so
my question is, I don't this guy if I see me,
what do I do?

Speaker 2 (02:43):
I mean, do I just.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Should I say something politely?

Speaker 3 (02:48):
You make it leg day and you go over there exactly.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
That's what I was gonna say.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
Just pick a different part of your workout to do
while he's on the machine.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
What possibly would you say to the gentleman?

Speaker 1 (03:00):
I don't know, but I have to use certain machines
because I have to use certain exercises. It's a long story,
but you get blood sugar down.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
You sure you've got health reasons to be at the gym,
and nobody wants to, like have to alter their workout
because somebody stinks so bad. Sir, your mouth is offensive. Yeah, sir, your.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Breath smells like that train wreck in western Pennsylvania.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Where was that.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
It had a funny name that was pronounced draw something.
It was a biblical name, right right, right, Yeah, it's
like Palestine, Ohio. Palestine, that's right, East Palestine, Ohio. Right, Yeah,
that's it.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Anyway, where were we? I was?

Speaker 3 (03:38):
I was going to accuse Michael of humble bragging because
every to me, every complaint about the gym is really
just a humble brag that you were at the gym.
But with your diabetes, I can't play that card, so
I will not. No, there's nothing you can say to
the stinky gent. You could recommend a good dentist, because
I'm telling you it's a dental problem.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
I used to spot for a guy at the gym
and like doing the bench press, so I'd be kind
of leaned over him, you know, getting ready to help
the bench up, and and haiti x sale. It was
just like whaa every single time I turned my head
and hold my breath for his ex sales. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:12):
I had a buddy that had really really bad breath.
And what I would do is I always had mints
in my purse, and but I'd pull them out. I'd
be super blatant, you know.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Kind of shake. This is meant. I mean, I'm hoping
them and I'd go, anybody want one good mints in
my life? But this is the best mint I've ever had.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
Tell you what, anybody who doesn't have one of these
mints is really missing out.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
Just shake some altoids and offer him one. Michael, see
if that works.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Like a combination of an orgasm in the last day
of school. This mint is just oh one, It's a
mint gasm. So listen.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
I want to be delicate about this because, uh, this
is not meant from in any way a bad place.
But there are certain cultures that they're traditional diets render
their output post meal to be somewhat bungeent.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Mm yeah, m yeah, that might mean the case here. Actually, no,
I think about it.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Okay, So racism raises its uglyhead, Just go up and
stick a sock in his mouth.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Wow wow, I'm telling you there is a difference. If
you have a ham sami for lunch and if you
have some sort of spicy curried goat or something for lunch,
you can have a different breath profile.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
I was just thinking. I think I always want somebody
to tell me if my breath is bad. I'm trying
to come up with a scenario where I would I
would prefer you didn't like it would be more hurtful
than helpful. But I think I'd like to always know
until I will get it under control.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
Yeah, And it's like the you know you got some
I eat blueberries for a number of reasons with my yogurt,
but the blueberries are one of the worst. You have
something on your teeth foods known to man because the skins,
so you have to rinse and look and all.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
But if somebody said, hey.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
You got a little uh, that would be Some people
are so embarrassed to do that.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:05):
But and if you, if you're if you and I
are friendly and you let me walk away with a
big blotch of deep blue.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
Crap on my teeth, you've done me no favor, Like
you got the dead bluetooth. Nobody that I'm stinking up
the gym. People try to work out or ready to puke.
Guy with diabetes next to me can't work out. That's right, it.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Might kill him, but he doesn't want to be rude.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
No, go ahead and say it my kid, you know,
because kids are what you want honesty. You ever want
to know what you look or smell like, have kids
because they are gonna tell you, at least up to
a certain age, all the time. But whenever my kids
would say, Dad, your bread smells bad, that it's at
a fend Man's like good, I want to know that.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
So, Michael curious, partly because I've recently become aware that
a person I know on the autism spectrum is hyper
sensitive to smells. I have a daughter who's misophonic. Definitely,
there's certain sounds maker and say Jackie can relate to that.
Have you ever had a history of being super sensitive
to smells?

Speaker 2 (07:04):
No?

Speaker 1 (07:05):
No, not at all.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Or hasn't changed since COVID. I have the problem. Now
I've learned to ignore it when I get a really
bad smell. I have figured out it's not as bad
for anybody else since the COVID thing, same thing that
caused me to not taste sweet, I guess. But like
for a while, I was like to my poor son, dude,
take a shower. Good God. And I finally figured out,
with some time and different situations, that my smell is

(07:30):
out of whack. Wow. Wow, it just smells horrible to
me all the time, no matter how many times it
gets a bath.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yeah, I consider myself so blessed that I've had Chairman
She's bat fever, the fauci flew several times, but haven't
had any sensory changes as an epicurean that would be
tragic for me. Now, you who have been hard of
tasting since I've known you, I'm not happy it happened
to you, but it would be a tragic loss if I,
with my refined ballot, were to suffer your fate.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
So hold on you, Jack, so your smell, certain things
smell worse, and then things you can't smell at all.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
I don't know about that, because it's hard not to
notice not smelling something. But yeah, bad smells are a
hundred times worse than they used to be. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (08:15):
I remember getting a number of emails from listeners during
the height of the COVID thing talking about how a
cup of coffee now smells just rancid.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
To I haven't had that, I don't think. But just
bad smells are like the sponge on the sink, which
I never used to ever notice sponge on the sink
if it started to get a little funky. Oh just
walking in the kitchens. Oh, it's me like a ton
of bricks. So maybe you have that going or maybe
the guy's just disgusting Michael. Yeah, would scope fix that
if your teeth a rotten out? Or would that not
help that listine? It would be better.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
I think one of your antibiotic types slips.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
You distract him. You slip some listerine into his water bottle.
Oh geez, you distract him.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
It's kind of a big guy, just you know.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Okay, oh boy, move quickly and stealthily.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Hey, one more thing for you guys to go to
the gym. Do you let people work in with you?
They now put up a sign that said you need
to share your equipment let others work in between your sets.
Do you know I don't do that either.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
No, No, because you wipe down your equipment afterwards. I
don't want somebody else sitting down on it and getting
it all set.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
No. I haven't been to a gym or you had
to do that in many many years. When I was younger,
I did all the time. You had to. It's just
so crowded. It was pretty much no other way to
work out. But it was always just so discouraging if
people were like at a much different level than you are,
and they're like, you put on so much more weight
than you got to take it back down to the
little girl level before you do your weight, or you're
just you're there to.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
Do A, B and C, and you do A and
B and then C is used up, or you know
it's being used, so all right, I'll go do my
set of B, I guess, and then okay, now A.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Now somebody's on a N C and I just one.
It's so discouraged. My one quick story on this is
we do the longest podcast we've ever done. I was
working out the University of Kansas at the gym there,
and I was doing the squats on the squat machine,
and a guy wanted to work in with me, and
I was too embarrassed to say that I couldn't do
the amount of weight he was doing, so I did
a weight way above my limit as best as I could,

(10:15):
and then when I was done, my legs were so
jelly from doing way more weight than I was capable
of doing. I could barely walk and I had to
like really stiffen up my legs to shuffle out of there,
and I got in my car, which had a manual transmission,
and I couldn't push the clutch in my legs was
so I had to sit there for like twenty minutes
before my legs calmed down enough I could push it.

(10:36):
They were just shaking. I thought, maybe you should swallow
your pride and just say that's more weight than I
can do. There's a lesson in life, is what it was.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
Well, I've decided what I'm gonna do. You guys, As
he does the chest press and has both arms occupied,
I will grab a toothbrush with full toothpaste.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
And start brushing his tea.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Yeah, while he's in mids, he can't do anything about it.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
If you got the flaws stick in there, perfect love it.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Well, I guess that's it.