March 4, 2025 • 9 mins
On the Tuesday March 4, 2025 edition of The Armstrong & Getty One More Thing Podcast....
- First, Shane Gillis amuses us with a revolutionary new therapy, and we consider the virtues of the treatment!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The dull, flat truth of everyday life. It's one more thing.
I'm struggling, Getty.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
One more thing.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Is that our mission statement.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
That was one of my favorite quotes from I think
William Faulkner about why he drank as much as he did.
He drank himself to death, but he did not like
the dull, flat truth of everyday life without a couple
of drinks.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I get it, Yeah, exactly, you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All get it, which is really Shane Gillis's point in
the fake ad they had on Saturday Night Live. We'll
play this first and then discuss You.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Wouldn't know it, but a few months ago, anxiety and
depression were ruining my life. I was struggling at work.
I was struggling as a father, Come on, Andrew, you
can't be beat at school in sports, and struggling as
a husband.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
That's not because my mom's doctor thinks that we should
move her into an assistant living mind.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
That's awesome. I was at a real low point. That's
what I talked to my doctor about. A couple of beers.
A couple of beers is revolutionary medicine that treats anxiety
and depression fast and within minutes. Of taking it. I'm
back to my old self, Andrew.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I love everybody who's the best in the whole.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
World, and my confidence is through the roof. Jay, you
look freaking hot, man, even do the way Platt's.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Excuse me, Oh sorry.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I'm just having a tough time adjusting to my new medication.
So the way it works is simple. A couple of
beers quickly turns a cloudy, rainy day into a sunny one.
It's that easy. Now I'm the me I want to be.
A couple of beers is a clinically proven treatment for
conditions like boredom, depression, winter museum hangovers, affair, and moderate
(01:38):
to severe Italian wife.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
And if you missed, the most.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Common side effect of a couple of beers is drowsiness,
so you may want to ask your doctor about a
little bump. The way a little bump works is simple.
Once the drowsiness of a couple of beers sets in,
you simply take a little bump and let the medication
do his thing.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Particularly like a couple of beers will help with you know, mourning, springtime, museum.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah yeah wow, I like museum. Yeah yeah. Your confidence
will be back. Wow. Jenny you're looking freaking hot.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Well, and he goes from his wife sitting there on
the couch telling them stories about her mom, and he
just couldn't stand listening to her till he was actually,
you know, able to pay attention and be kind of
pleasant after a couple of beers.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
There's just there's just too much reality that for many people,
I think for that well, that's why it's funny.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yeah, especially I mean, what would happen if the introverts
of the world were all denied any social lubricant. I mean,
I know how it's affected your.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Well, I know, you know, I know for me and
Dada two kids.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
So you're too busy to do a lot of Like socialists.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I wouldn't do it anyway, So I know what it's
done for me. For one thing, because I don't drink.
I haven't had a drink in eighteen and a half years.
I would put myself in social situations I didn't want
to be in and drink to handle them. I just
don't do them anymore. I hated them, I didn't want
to be at them. So now I just don't, which
has helped a lot. I don't know why I did
so often in the first place, it's not something I
(03:22):
want to do a lot of those things. Yes, Katie, No,
I'm listening to you.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I'm also thinking about all of the situations where I
absolutely take a shot at tequila before I attend.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
So, yeah, it's funny. This is a great help to
me years and years ago. And if i'd none you
were going to be talking about this, I would have
grabbed a quote Thomas Jefferson wrote once describing how his
natural inclination is toward being a loner. He was an introvert,
(03:56):
and he would much prefer to be by himself, eating
or writing, or you know, working, or maybe with one
close friend. And but he realized if he indulged that
part of his personality, he started to become weird and angry. Hmmm,
because and and the reason that hit me is because
(04:17):
that's me exactly. I am more than happy to do
solitary stuff for days weeks at a time. But then
I realized I get all hermity and weird and lose
connection with people I care about.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
And maybe so I just need a slave girlfriend a cheeriup.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
All right, that was a cheap shot, and beneath you
wait a minute, nothing man anyway, uh and and and
so as a person so inclined, Jefferson was known to
sip a bit of the maderra my Spanish wine or
something like that. In fact, he ran up so much
(04:52):
debt importing stuff like that from Europe he couldn't pay
his debt. But yeah, so, and I have activities and
group and stuff that I'm a part of, but I
don't want to say I dread them because I enjoy them,
but it's not comfortable to do them. But you get there,
you have a quick drinking poo and all of a
(05:13):
sudden it's like, hey, this is fine, grass fun. These
are nice fellas.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
You think Jefferson got like halfway through the Declaration of
Independence that I.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Just don't feel like finishing this.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
God, if Madison hitsed me with we don't need a
pillar race one more time, I'm gonna box his ears.
And he had a couple of beers and everything was fine, Yeah, exactly,
exactly perfect. Although the end of that commercial, there was
a couple of aspects of that commercial which were bracingly
(05:42):
honest about the downside and side effects of using that
as a crutch in life.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Certainly, or yeah, if you go too far. That's the
problem with the whole couple of beers thing for some
of us is, uh, it's.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Hard to not do it always or take it way
beyond a couple right and working totally.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I don't seem to be progressive guy, which is lucky
for me as a alcohol enthusiast my entire life. But
I think about the evening and I will give up
drinking for spans of time just to make sure I
can and that I still know how to wind down
for bed without you know, getting my drink on. But
(06:23):
if it's not one of those nights, if it's gonna
be one of those nights where I have my Scotch
or maybe even a glass of wine with dinner or whatever,
I really look forward to it. And you know, it
may not show. I actually work a lot at this job,
probably too much. It makes me insane, and I really
look forward to that, and it makes me happy thinking
about it.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
But I'd love to.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I wish they could, like, you know, take a swab
out of your cheek or something and say, oh, you've
done twenty one percent damage to your health and are
going to die X number of years prematurely cause you
won't put down the bottle.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Why do you want to know that? Bliss and that
I don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
No, I'm the world's greatest fan of realism. I want
to know exactly what I'm putting in my body.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
And what do you think that? Do you think you
think you would change behavior based on that?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I might?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah? Really?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I mean, for instance, if they said, yeah, you feel
great today, but you're gonna have a devastating stroke in
March in April, well yeah, all right, just as a
for instance, what what if it was in two years,
I'd want to know that if it's probably more realistically
that you know, maybe you lose I don't know, instead
(07:38):
of dying at eighty nine, you die at eighty seven.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Yeah, I'm going to change your behavior for that.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I wouldn't, right, yeah, especially if those last two years
are the really difficult, painful for everybody barely hanging out.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, have people because you ain't got
a couple of beers, all right, right, I would love
That'd be fantastic. Maybe someday with AI, they'll able to
figure all that out where everything will have that on
the label. You know, you eat this candy bar, you
just shaved. I don't know, forty five seconds off your
life or something.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I don't like this world we're creating right.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Now, I'm eating it. It'll be like the calorie thing.
You know, you go, you get a muffin. It works
on me, the calorie thing.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I go to Starbucks and I think, I like, I'll
get a muffin in it four hundred and fifty calories.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And it ain't worth that.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Those muffins designed for what to feed an elementary school.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
They're so enormous and dense.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
But if it said it'll cut five minutes off your life,
it'd be pretty easy to say five minutes.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
What do I care?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
All sorts of different philosophies too. I mean, the body
is a temple. You know, God has built it. You
should honor it. That's one philosophy I respect. But a
lot of my greatest think favorite thinkers, from hl Menkin
to Thomas Jefferson to all sorts of different people were
one hundred percent on the Yeah, I could live a
life of complete discipline and so.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Right, But what the hell is the point of that? Yeah,
let's enjoy ourselves. It's a short ride.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
Goodness, save everything in moderation.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Exactly, exactly, if you can do that with that.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
For now, I keep thinking if I knew how many
toes I could lose by eating sweets, like if it
was only two, but I could eat for twenty years.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, because you're afraid of you're gonna lose your whole foot, right.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
I don't want to do that, But but a toe
or two I can still get around.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Like your ring toe.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Gonna say you gotta judge it on toe by toe.
Basically every toe is created equal.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
Something to think about.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Well, I guess that's it.
The dull, flat truth of everyday life. It's one more thing.
I'm struggling, Getty.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
One more thing.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Is that our mission statement.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
That was one of my favorite quotes from I think
William Faulkner about why he drank as much as he did.
He drank himself to death, but he did not like
the dull, flat truth of everyday life without a couple
of drinks.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I get it, Yeah, exactly, you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
All get it, which is really Shane Gillis's point in
the fake ad they had on Saturday Night Live. We'll
play this first and then discuss You.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
Wouldn't know it, but a few months ago, anxiety and
depression were ruining my life. I was struggling at work.
I was struggling as a father, Come on, Andrew, you
can't be beat at school in sports, and struggling as
a husband.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
That's not because my mom's doctor thinks that we should
move her into an assistant living mind.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
That's awesome. I was at a real low point. That's
what I talked to my doctor about. A couple of beers.
A couple of beers is revolutionary medicine that treats anxiety
and depression fast and within minutes. Of taking it. I'm
back to my old self, Andrew.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
I love everybody who's the best in the whole.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
World, and my confidence is through the roof. Jay, you
look freaking hot, man, even do the way Platt's.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Excuse me, Oh sorry.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
I'm just having a tough time adjusting to my new medication.
So the way it works is simple. A couple of
beers quickly turns a cloudy, rainy day into a sunny one.
It's that easy. Now I'm the me I want to be.
A couple of beers is a clinically proven treatment for
conditions like boredom, depression, winter museum hangovers, affair, and moderate
(01:38):
to severe Italian wife.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
And if you missed, the most.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Common side effect of a couple of beers is drowsiness,
so you may want to ask your doctor about a
little bump. The way a little bump works is simple.
Once the drowsiness of a couple of beers sets in,
you simply take a little bump and let the medication
do his thing.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Particularly like a couple of beers will help with you know, mourning, springtime, museum.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah yeah wow, I like museum. Yeah yeah. Your confidence
will be back. Wow. Jenny you're looking freaking hot.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Well, and he goes from his wife sitting there on
the couch telling them stories about her mom, and he
just couldn't stand listening to her till he was actually,
you know, able to pay attention and be kind of
pleasant after a couple of beers.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
There's just there's just too much reality that for many people,
I think for that well, that's why it's funny.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yeah, especially I mean, what would happen if the introverts
of the world were all denied any social lubricant. I mean,
I know how it's affected your.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
Well, I know, you know, I know for me and
Dada two kids.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
So you're too busy to do a lot of Like socialists.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I wouldn't do it anyway, So I know what it's
done for me. For one thing, because I don't drink.
I haven't had a drink in eighteen and a half years.
I would put myself in social situations I didn't want
to be in and drink to handle them. I just
don't do them anymore. I hated them, I didn't want
to be at them. So now I just don't, which
has helped a lot. I don't know why I did
so often in the first place, it's not something I
(03:22):
want to do a lot of those things. Yes, Katie, No,
I'm listening to you.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
I'm also thinking about all of the situations where I
absolutely take a shot at tequila before I attend.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
So, yeah, it's funny. This is a great help to
me years and years ago. And if i'd none you
were going to be talking about this, I would have
grabbed a quote Thomas Jefferson wrote once describing how his
natural inclination is toward being a loner. He was an introvert,
(03:56):
and he would much prefer to be by himself, eating
or writing, or you know, working, or maybe with one
close friend. And but he realized if he indulged that
part of his personality, he started to become weird and angry. Hmmm,
because and and the reason that hit me is because
(04:17):
that's me exactly. I am more than happy to do
solitary stuff for days weeks at a time. But then
I realized I get all hermity and weird and lose
connection with people I care about.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
And maybe so I just need a slave girlfriend a cheeriup.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
All right, that was a cheap shot, and beneath you
wait a minute, nothing man anyway, uh and and and
so as a person so inclined, Jefferson was known to
sip a bit of the maderra my Spanish wine or
something like that. In fact, he ran up so much
(04:52):
debt importing stuff like that from Europe he couldn't pay
his debt. But yeah, so, and I have activities and
group and stuff that I'm a part of, but I
don't want to say I dread them because I enjoy them,
but it's not comfortable to do them. But you get there,
you have a quick drinking poo and all of a
(05:13):
sudden it's like, hey, this is fine, grass fun. These
are nice fellas.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
You think Jefferson got like halfway through the Declaration of
Independence that I.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Just don't feel like finishing this.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
God, if Madison hitsed me with we don't need a
pillar race one more time, I'm gonna box his ears.
And he had a couple of beers and everything was fine, Yeah, exactly,
exactly perfect. Although the end of that commercial, there was
a couple of aspects of that commercial which were bracingly
(05:42):
honest about the downside and side effects of using that
as a crutch in life.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Certainly, or yeah, if you go too far. That's the
problem with the whole couple of beers thing for some
of us is, uh, it's.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Hard to not do it always or take it way
beyond a couple right and working totally.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I don't seem to be progressive guy, which is lucky
for me as a alcohol enthusiast my entire life. But
I think about the evening and I will give up
drinking for spans of time just to make sure I
can and that I still know how to wind down
for bed without you know, getting my drink on. But
(06:23):
if it's not one of those nights, if it's gonna
be one of those nights where I have my Scotch
or maybe even a glass of wine with dinner or whatever,
I really look forward to it. And you know, it
may not show. I actually work a lot at this job,
probably too much. It makes me insane, and I really
look forward to that, and it makes me happy thinking
about it.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
But I'd love to.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I wish they could, like, you know, take a swab
out of your cheek or something and say, oh, you've
done twenty one percent damage to your health and are
going to die X number of years prematurely cause you
won't put down the bottle.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Why do you want to know that? Bliss and that
I don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
No, I'm the world's greatest fan of realism. I want
to know exactly what I'm putting in my body.
Speaker 3 (07:12):
And what do you think that? Do you think you
think you would change behavior based on that?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
I might?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah? Really?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I mean, for instance, if they said, yeah, you feel
great today, but you're gonna have a devastating stroke in
March in April, well yeah, all right, just as a
for instance, what what if it was in two years,
I'd want to know that if it's probably more realistically
that you know, maybe you lose I don't know, instead
(07:38):
of dying at eighty nine, you die at eighty seven.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Yeah, I'm going to change your behavior for that.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I wouldn't, right, yeah, especially if those last two years
are the really difficult, painful for everybody barely hanging out.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, have people because you ain't got
a couple of beers, all right, right, I would love
That'd be fantastic. Maybe someday with AI, they'll able to
figure all that out where everything will have that on
the label. You know, you eat this candy bar, you
just shaved. I don't know, forty five seconds off your
life or something.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
I don't like this world we're creating right.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Now, I'm eating it. It'll be like the calorie thing.
You know, you go, you get a muffin. It works
on me, the calorie thing.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Definitely.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I go to Starbucks and I think, I like, I'll
get a muffin in it four hundred and fifty calories.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
And it ain't worth that.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Those muffins designed for what to feed an elementary school.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
They're so enormous and dense.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
But if it said it'll cut five minutes off your life,
it'd be pretty easy to say five minutes.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
What do I care?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
All sorts of different philosophies too. I mean, the body
is a temple. You know, God has built it. You
should honor it. That's one philosophy I respect. But a
lot of my greatest think favorite thinkers, from hl Menkin
to Thomas Jefferson to all sorts of different people were
one hundred percent on the Yeah, I could live a
life of complete discipline and so.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Right, But what the hell is the point of that? Yeah,
let's enjoy ourselves. It's a short ride.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
Goodness, save everything in moderation.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Exactly, exactly, if you can do that with that.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
For now, I keep thinking if I knew how many
toes I could lose by eating sweets, like if it
was only two, but I could eat for twenty years.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Yeah, because you're afraid of you're gonna lose your whole foot, right.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
I don't want to do that, But but a toe
or two I can still get around.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Like your ring toe.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Gonna say you gotta judge it on toe by toe.
Basically every toe is created equal.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
Something to think about.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Well, I guess that's it.
Hosts And Creators
Joe Getty
Jack Armstrong
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