Bad at Breaking Up

We finally know what gender Jared and Ashley are expecting! But the next secret for us to guess is the name of their baby. It’s something Ashley has had picked out for over 20 years!

Dean and Jared answer all your questions about dating, relationships and beyond. Dean reveals that in the past, he’s been “bad at break-ups”. What does this mean??

And is a FaceTime break-up ever acceptable?? When are you allowed to have “the talk” without meeting face to face?

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hell I Suck At Dating with Denglert and Dared Haven
and I Heart Radio podcast. What is going on? Everyone?
Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck
At Dating. I am recording from the passenger seat of
my brother's truck in Hamilton, Montana. Jared, where the heck

(00:22):
are you? I'm in my man cave, which I think
it's gonna be a possible baby room in the future.
We're not really sure what we're doing right now, but
right now it is surrounded by Tom Brady, Patriots, Buccaneers,
Red Sox paraphernalia. It's pretty awesome. I love being in here.
This is the first time I think I'm ever recording
my our podcast from this room, so I'm pretty excited.

(00:44):
I think that we can finally say cats out of
the bag. Right You're having a baby boy, baby boy? Yes,
we are, so we're very excited. We have the name
picked out. Ashley has had this name picked out for
twenty years. She's loved it and when she told me,
I loved it. So we're do you have a name
picked out? So pretty much everything's good to go. We
have a baby boy. You guys gonna do another Amazon

(01:06):
Live video of telling everyone the name of the baby.
I mean, fingers crossed. One can only hope, my friend,
this baby is gonna be have more money than me
before it even comes out of the freaking womb. Well,
you know, college tuition ain't cheap. Paying for a coffee
shop down here, you know, we gotta do what we
gotta do. But it was actually really fun. So we

(01:27):
announced on Amazon Live yesterday the same thing we did
with our pregnancy. And it's actually a lot of fun
announcing on there because it's a live platform, so it's
fun interacting with everybody in the live chat with us.
Uh and you know, just having it live in the
moment and not prerecorded. There's something to be said about that.
And it was like a built up like moment. We're like, okay,
here we go. It's a boy, and everybody's saying congratulations.

(01:50):
It was It was a fun moment for Ashley and I,
So I'm really glad we did it that way. Nice man,
We'll congratulations baby boy. Baby Dean's on the way. Um,
baby Deanie, Deanie babies you want to I just found
out too. Yes, they're like three days ago when I
ever got Spontana is my brother is having a baby
with his wife. Congratulations. Yeah, it was the weirdest thing.

(02:12):
They were like, yeah, we just bought a house together.
I was like, great, an extra room for me to
sleep in and they're like, yeah, we're gonna need all
the rooms we can get. And I was like, okay,
I guess it's kind of a weird thing to say.
What you're talking about gonna be sleeping there all the time, guys.
And then his wife looks at me and she like
kind of like, you know, like smiles a little bit.
I'm like, okay, are you guys like trying to tell
me something? And then they were like, we're pregnant. And

(02:32):
I was like, this is the weirdest possible way to
tell someone that you're pregnant. Just freaking tell me. I
don't know, pregnant. That's so cute. So you're gonna be
an uncle? Is that you're gonna be an uncle? Well,
I Alred was gonna be an uncle with baby ha
been on the way. But I'm gonna be an official
real uncle with baby Bell on the way. It who
would be nice? Oh so it's it's a girl. Bell

(02:53):
is their last name? Oh okay. I was like Bell
it's a beautiful name. We already know the gender in
the name. That's great. But it is a girl, so
that is going to be a girl because I think
what is actually do Ashley's do February? February tenth or eleventh,
I think is the official day their baby is do February.
So that you guys, oh, you guys had sex like

(03:16):
right around the same time. Yeah, tight, tight, Tell to
tell your brother, I said, nicely done, sir, Yeah done.
There's just something in the air. And may I guess right? Apparently, dude,
Valentine's Day baby, that'd be pretty cool. Rob Thomas was
born on the Valentine's Day. It's a great birthday. Yeah. Nice.
Maybe maybe your baby and his baby could get married

(03:37):
in years Yeah, I mean, who knows. On Bachelor in
Paradise that would be. That would be something special. That's
something horribly went wrong. Um. So we do have some
hot tops coming in. We don't have any guests for
you today, which is always the best because we're just
gonna host chatt It. We're gonna talk about hot topics.
We also have some questions that we pose to you

(03:59):
on our help. I start a dating instagram, which if
you're not following already, please do so. Uh, And so
we're gonna answer some of that, and of course we're
gonna answer your emails. But the first topic of the
day is about Alex Rodriguez. This freaking guy, Alex. Uh,
this guy stinks. Alex Rodriguez shares photo of himself posing
with Porsche that he gifted Jennifer Lopez. Obviously his ex.

(04:23):
Alex Rodriguez is certainly enjoying the finer things in life,
which includes what some fans have pointed out looks like
a red Porsche that was once a birthday gift to
his ex Jennifer Lopez. Alex Rodriguez is uh, I guess,
crushing into his new chapter in life. The former Yankee
was seen grinning from ear to ear while posing in
front of a red Porsche in his latest Instagram post,

(04:43):
which on August eighteenth, is when he posted the caption
said I'm super down to earth. Real funny Alex. However,
that wasn't the most noteworthy part of the post, with
fans immediately noticing that his car that he has seen
leaning on looked awfully similar to the lavish birthday gift
he gave to Jennifer Lopez back in two thousand nineteen.
One person even commented asking, isn't that the red car

(05:05):
he bought j Lo. Another fan amongst many, obviously also
hinted the uh at the return gift, writing I thought
you gave that red Porsche to never mind when the
quote I'm real swift singer turned fifty. Obviously, Jennifer Lopez
just turned fift nineteen, and Insider revealed to Eat News
at the time that Alex gifted the red Heart commodity

(05:26):
to his then fiance at an estimated cost of buckle
up a hundred and forty thousand dollars. Holy crap, what
a I hate this guy. You know, he's a Yankee.
I've never liked the way he played and he I
just feel like he's such a faker. That's what I
think of Alex Rodriguez. And maybe I'm biased because I

(05:47):
hate the Yankees and he played for the Yankees, and
he just like was just a I didn't just how
do I say this without swearing? He was a pansy
Like I don't know if you were into Intel four alcs,
but he likes slapped the ball out of the first
baseman's hand. To try to get on first base. It
was just like, this guy stinks, and now he's taking

(06:09):
pictures and smiling from ear to ear in front of
a gift that he once gave his exten Philipez. Like, bro,
move on, she's happy with ben Affleck, she's upgraded. Why
don't you focus on your own life? God forbid the
guy takes a picture where he's happy. Jared, calm down, man,
Your disdain for the Yankees can only go so far.
First of all, the Yankees are great, and the Red

(06:31):
Sox suck, especially after two thousand seven, but we've won
two World Series since then. You have the Red Sox. Well,
I'm including myself in that statement. I'm saying two seven
was the year that I really don't like because you
guys swept us in the World Series the Rockies, That's right, Yeah,
you guys were on fire. You guys were like eighteen
and one in the players or something like that, and

(06:52):
then you got to the World Series and we kicked
your ass. Anyway, move on. Um My point is I personally,
if I bought someone a hundred Porsche and then we
broke up, I would a thousand percent take the Porsche back. Well,
My question is is this the actual Porsche or is
he just trying to like get a rise out of

(07:13):
j Lo, Because that's my question. I don't think he's
doing that, man. I think that people are being a
little too soft with that, Like, Okay, he's a grown man. Yeah, sure,
Jlo moved on. But what he's not allowed to take
the freaking picture in front of a sweet red car?
What's his name? Guy? I'm gonna look him up on
Instagram here real quick because I want to get some

(07:34):
more perspective to this. First of all, he's caption I'm
super down to earth, not funny, it's sarcasm. His sarcasm
is not my tuppy humor anyway. And this guy is
leaning against the red Porsche that he apparently famously gifted
Jennifer Lopez on her fiftieth birthday. He knew when he

(07:56):
posted this picture that that's what everybody would be talking
about in including the host of this podcast. And he's
getting what he wants because we're all discussing it. So
it worked. So you know what, Clap to you, Alex Rodriguez.
He got us all to talk about it. Here we
are talking about you on the podcast today but you
know what, doesn't mean I have to like it. I
don't like him one bit because I think he's trying
to get a rise out of my boy's girlfriend A K.

(08:18):
Ben Affleck. And you know what, I don't dig it.
Maybe Jay Look gave it back to a Rod and
now he's just happy to have his car back. Hey,
he can have the car back. Yeah, And don't get
me wrong, sure if you want to take the car back,
take the car back, like whatever, it's your money, bro,
But to lean on it, post about it, grinning from
ear to ear. He knew, he knew everybody, like he

(08:39):
knew exactly what he was doing. You're just being too
hard on a Rod. Have you ever kept anything from
being a hater? Right now you are being a hater? Um. Yeah,
Like we talked about this before in the podcast, like
certain sentimental things I kept and then like stored away
because we couldn't. Like I was like I remember finding
a couple of years ago and be like, oh do

(08:59):
I throw rowed away? Like it feels I feel terrible
throwing away. But like in terms of like anything of value, No,
I've never taken anything back from an next That would
be kind of messed up even like a Rod. You
want to take your porscheback? Bro, Why you really need
the money that badly? Something tells me that you don't.
So if he did take the gift back from j Lo,

(09:20):
what are you doing? Just let her have it, dude,
I think you're looking at this all wrong. Maybe Jayla
didn't want it anymore. Maybe Jlo was like, look, dude,
I don't need this. I'm the freaking richest, hottest girl
in the world. Why would I need your stupid, ugly
red Porsche. Take it back? And now a Rod is
happy he got his car back. He's super down to
earth and he wants everyone to know it, so he
takes a picture and post on Instagram. I just I
think you're being a little too hard on the guy

(09:41):
you know well as you can tell not a fan. Alright,
well we agree to disagree. Our next hot topic is
about a man who breaks up with his girlfriend via
the Jumpo Tron, which, if if you guys don't know,
a jumbo tron is, it's the huge television screen that
is in every stadium of any professional sports league anywhere.

(10:05):
So apparently this guy on the JumboTron put alyssa. This
relationship is over from Tim. Uh. Tim, this guy went
to a place very few are willing to go and
breaking up with a partner. Recently at Akron Rubber Ducks game,
which is the double affiliate of Cleveland which, uh, Cleveland

(10:30):
is no longer there the Cleveland Guardians, right are they
the Cleveland Guardians this year? They just changed their name?
I think so right now, so they're the double a
affiliate of Cleveland Indians. The Akron Rubber tell X what
a name? Anyway, this is in Cleveland. Tim broke up
with his girlfriend, Alyssa now ex girlfriend in one of

(10:51):
the most savage, disrespectful ways possible. Alyssa, this relationship is
over by the way, the overs and all capital letters
talk about twisting knife. That's what the L A D
L E D sign read at Canal Park. Alyssa, needless
to say, has every right to be infuriated with Tim
over this classless breakup without knowing the full story. However,

(11:11):
I can't really cast judgment. This is obviously from the
author of the article, not me, Because on help I
suck a dating we cast judgment. Generally speaking, there are
only really two explanations as to why Tim would decide
to go to these lengths to break up with a Lissa. First,
Alyssa is deeply has deeply hurt Tim dealing with these

(11:31):
feelings Tim right or wrong, So retribution by contacting the
good people within the Rubber Ducks organization and likely paid
to have this message displayed for all three thousand one
and sixty fans to see at Canal Park. The second
explanation pretty simple. Tim is a scumbag. He's a scumbag
guy who couldn't muster the courage to break up with

(11:52):
a Lissa literally any other way. Either way, it sounds
like it maybe for the best that these two are
going their separate ways. So what are your overall thoughts
about this? I think it's a joke and I think
people misunderstood it. I agree, what kind of douche bag?
Unless she cheated on him, that's the only explanation. If
Alyssa cheated on Tim, then maybe he went to these

(12:15):
lengths to break up with her. But if he, if
she did cheat on him, wouldn't like he also put
that in the message, be like, Alyssa, I caught you cheating.
It's over. It's definitely. It's definitely like they're still dating,
and he's like playing a prank on her if that's
if that that's at all? Yeah, it's like, I I
am even angry to talk about this right now. I

(12:36):
think it's hilarious. I kind of want to go to
a Rubber Ducks game with Kaylin and do the same
thing to her, just to get a rise out of her.
Just hilarious. All right, Yeah, let's play this out. So
you go to the Akron Rubber Ducks game in Cleveland, Ohio,
and you guys go and there's three thousand people there,
and you get some popcorn. You're watching a baseball game,

(12:56):
and then in the seventh inning stretch, you go, Caitlin, look,
I put a message for you up on the JumboTron
and it says, Klin, it's over from Dean. How do
you think she'd react, Well, first of all, it would
be in the Las Vegas Ballpark where the Aviators play,
because that's a greater street from our house in Las Vegas.

(13:19):
But yes, let's let's say we find ourselves an Acron
one day rubber Ducks are playing, we gotta go big
game in the a c pcl UH tournament with something
like that, and you know, It's like I and I
did that to Klin. I think that she would get
uncomfortable and she would laugh and she would get very

(13:40):
angry at me, But in hindsight it would be hilarious
and she would laugh about off. I think, yeah, I'm
curious how Alyssa would react if this was a giant joke.
If because then like, what's the point? It's like, oh
a good, It's a like a two second laugh for
all that hard work, and now everybody in the ballpark
thinks that you guys broke up. Who cares? What the
there's thans there and fifty six of those people will

(14:06):
never know who they're talking about, you know what I mean?
Fair point. So this brings up a question. Do you
think it's ever acceptable to break up with someone not
in person? I mean I've done it before. I've done
like the FaceTime breakup, uh, probably a couple of times
over were you guys in a long distance relationship? I
feel like that's the only acceptable way to do a
FaceTime breakup. We were in a long relationship. Have you

(14:29):
ever done that or are you a face to face guy?
I've never done that. No, I've never broken up with
somebody unless like somebody thinks that broke up with them.
I don't think so. Okay, p s A. If you're
listening to this and Jared has broken up with you,
please call in and let us know how he did it.
No no, no no no no no no no. But
I do think for a long distance relationship, it is

(14:51):
acceptable to do a FaceTime breakup. I've had friends go
through similar situations and like the relationship is dissolving, they
went to just go visit one another. It didn't go well,
they didn't break up over there, and then they were
going to meet up like again and fly to like
a central location, and all the while, one person knew
that they were going to break up with the other,
and it was like what am I doing? Like, I

(15:13):
know it sucks getting broken up with via FaceTime, but
what's better breaking up with someone over FaceTime or spending hundreds,
if not thousands of dollars to travel, stay at a
hotel all just to break up in person. I think
the FaceTime breakup is acceptable when in a long distance relationship. Now, listen,
if you guys live down the street and you don't

(15:33):
have the balls to break up with them in person, Okay,
that's a different story. I'm tring to think the last
time I broke up with someone, I like him really bad.
At breakups, I my method, Like, let's say I'm dating
someone and I want to break up with them, I
just like find ways to make them want to break
up with me because I'm too scared for them to
break up with to break up with them. You know
what I mean? Is that what happened on the First Paradise? Uh? Yeah,

(15:56):
you know that. I don't think that's too far off. Honestly,
I like this was like, I'm I'm gonna be a
jerk and hopefully you come to your senses and you
break it off with me, so that way I don't
have to feel guilty for breaking off with you, but
then I feel guilty for being a jerk for wanting
you to do that. I don't know. It's not definitely
not the best method, and honestly, it's the root of
this podcast. It is the genesis that drove this podcast

(16:20):
into creation. So um, I think we can all agree
that that's definitely not the best way to approach breakups. Uh,
if you want to break up with someone, tell them
why you want to break up with them, face to
face if you can, or on the phone if you can't,
and just be an adult about it, right, Could you
agree with that? Yeah? I mean it's too bad that

(16:42):
there are no adults on this podcast to really give
more advice on that. Just to man childs Uh. Last
hot topic before we take quick break, Jake Cutlor speaking
of guys that stink. Oh my gosh, let's go from
a Rod to Jake Cutler. Oh I hate j Cutler.
Oh it's the worst man. We're also Uh, you're a
Broncos fan, so norder you hate this guy. J Cutler

(17:03):
says dating is quote hard as hell. Oh, poor baby.
After Kristen cavaliery divorce, priorities have changed, he said, getting
back out there, j Culor's attempt to rejoin in the
dating world since it's split with Christen Cavaliery has come
with their fair share of lessons thus far. Quote it's
hard as hell. Really, Color, who's thirty eight years old,

(17:23):
said on the podcast Uncut with Jay Cutler. Uh, meeting
people as hard. I think finding out what people really
want from you. I think that's probably an issue. Jay Cutler,
who shares a son, Uh, Camden, two sons, excuse me
two sons and a daughter uh with Kristen explained the
struggle to connect with people that are on the same
page with him, especially as a parent. Now, listen before

(17:45):
I go further into this article, totally get that as
a parent, that makes dating harder because you're not only
you know, introducing someone into your own life, you're introducing
someone into your kid's life, which is a bigger, bigger deal. Quote.
I'm at a different phase of my life right now
with kids. Priorities have changed. Noted during this episode. It
isn't just a purely selfish play on my part. The

(18:05):
whole landscape has changed. There are apps, there's Twitter, there's Instagram.
It's a whole different ball game. You're not just walking
into a restaurant or bar and talking to somebody that
doesn't exist anymore. Well, it kind of still exists anyway.
He goes on to say, we have nothing but love
and respect for one another and are deeply grateful for
the years that we shared memories and the children we
are so proud of, he said, and enjoyed statement. When

(18:26):
they broke up years ago. This is just a situation
of two people growing apart. So Jay Cutler talks about
how difficult dating is out in the world now, Like
I said, as a parent, as someone who has kids
with his ex, totally get that that would be very difficult.
Having said that, you're also Jay Cutler, you're a multi millionaire.

(18:48):
You're doing okay. Now he could say that, oh, I
don't know if someone's dating me for quote the right reasons.
I feel like that excuses a little dramatic and a
blown out of proportion, Like if you're a good reader
of people, you'll know if someone really likes you for you. Yeah,
I mean to to just comment on that real quick.
There were times when I was an insecure little boy

(19:10):
and I felt that sometimes a little bit. And I'm
not even I don't even hold the candle to the
level of celebrity that j Color is, So I kind
of see where he's coming from. But Color, he's like
a cocky dish back. He probably eats that crap up
he like. I mean, I if you don't tell, if
you can tell I don't like this guy, I bet
you he probably He probably like gets weirdly turned on

(19:31):
by knowing that people want to cook up with him
just because he's Jay Cutler, you know, like he's like
he seems like that kind of person to me. I
love how our sports hatred is really just like oozing
through this podcast my hatred for a rod for the Yankees,
your j color because of what he did to the Broncos.
I love it, No, don't I love this? And he
did a Christen Cavaliery too. Christ And Cavaliery arguably the

(19:52):
second hottest woman in America behind Calin obviously, and he
had he had to go out and ruin that relationship. Hey,
I don't understand how they were even together in the
first place. I never watched any of those reality shows
or anything that they were on, But just knowing what
I knew about Jay Cutler and knowing what little I
knew about Kristin Cavaliery, it didn't make sense to me.
But obviously they had three beautiful kids, so I would

(20:15):
still consider that relationship with success. I suppose. I just
don't like Jay Cutler and dating as a single parent,
I'm assuming is very difficult because for the reasons that
we stated before, But it is easier for certain people
out in the world because of their status or or
their fine finances, and I feel like for Jay Culer

(20:36):
it's probably a little bit easier. So hey, you know,
do you bro? But yeah, that's it. That's all I
gotta say about that. Let's make an announcement to Jay Cutler.
If you're listening to this podcast, which you probably are,
he's change your minds about you. I would love to
be your best friend. I would love to hang out.
And it's not just because you're a famous former professional

(20:57):
football player. I would love for you to change my
perception you because what you did to the Broncos I'll
never forgive you for. But if you come on, plead
your case and make Chared and I your friends, I'm
totally done for that. Yeah. I mean, I would love
nothing more than j Collier to come on this podcast
because he'd be a great gut for us. Yeah, he

(21:19):
would be a good gut. He'd be a probably are
one of our best gets. Are arguably the best cat.
He's a big I mean, I don't know. Brian bum Gardner,
he's a good one. We had. Oh that's when you
guys were the Giants game. I wasn't there, son of
them that would have been a cool person at time.
Bum Gardner from the office, Remember Kevin Kevin Malone. Oh,
I'm thinking of the picture that's Matt buon Gunner. I

(21:40):
think no, I think it is Brian as well. And
I remember when he booked Brian. I was like, why
are we having the Giants player on our podcast? And
I was like, Oh, it's Kevin from the Office. That's right, dude. Yeah,
Brian was a big guy. He was awesome. So please
Brian come back on the podcast. We need you. Yeah, please,
And I meant to, uh, I guess I don't know
what I meant, but I did listen to his podcast
after he guested on our podcast, and man, his podcasts

(22:02):
are really good. So if you have the time and
you're looking for more content to consume your day, check
out Kevin's podcast, Brian's podcast. That's very good. All Right,
we're gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,
we asked you sucky daters to share your own dating
deal breakers and we're going to talk about them right
after this quick break. All right, welcome back to help

(22:33):
I suck at dating. Uh. So, we have a couple
of things here. We asked you guys uh for some
questions and answers on our Instagram and we also, yeah,
we also have an article on here about men who
are asked to share their own deal breakers. I kind
of conflainted those two between the break. But we have
an article from BuzzFeed about men and their dating deal breakers,

(22:55):
and we also have some questions, uh for Dean and
myself that we posed to you on the help by
sucitating Instagram. So let's get to the dating deal breakers first.
So apparently popular Reddit thread. Uh. If you guys are
not familiar with Reddit, I'm sure you are. It's like
it's like Twitter. Uh. So this thread asked men of

(23:16):
the Internet, what are some of the deal breakers for
potential relationship even if they're very attractive? And of course
the thread quickly went viral as thousands of men started
chiming in with their personal dating red flags in here
or there's some of the top voted responses. So let's see, Dan,
I want to know if you agree or disagree with
these deal breakers. Number one having absolutely no sense of

(23:38):
accountability for their actions. Believe me, it is more common
than you think. Is that a deal breaker for you? Dane?
Oh my gosh. Of course accountability. Talk to Calin about
this all the time. Accountability is very, very important. What
do you think? Yeah, oh, I totally agree. You need
self awareness. Number two complaining about everything, Yeah, I tell

(23:58):
Calin this all the time. Complaining about everything is the
absolute worst. Number three lying, saying stuff about you behind
your back, being mean to people for no reason, and
being fake. Yeah I tell you this to Kailin all
the time. No, actually, that's the one that I don't
talk to Cailin about all the time. She's a nice person.

(24:20):
So I agree. If you're like mean, and I know
you talk about this all the time, you feel like
mean to like your waitress or the waiter or any
like other person that's like simply there to like help you,
then you're a bad date and probably like got some
issues you gotta work through. Yeah. No, I can never.
I can't imagine Calin ever being mean. Is she ever mean?
Like she ever get like angry? She that's a good question. Um,

(24:45):
she can get kind of like snippy or something like
if something's not going exactly how she wants it to,
or like if she's on hold for too long, she
gets like franky, And she doesn't get like mean or
anything like that. But it's funny whenever I like So,
I'm going to tie these two in real quick. So
the comple anyone. Like a week and a half ago,
I got my van stuck in some mud in Utah,

(25:05):
and I called Triple A to come get me out,
and Triple A like dropped the ball. We were waiting
for like four hours for the Triple A tow truck,
and the whole time Caitlin was like complaining about She's
like I just want to get out of here, blah
blah blah. And I'm like, Bro, you're in the van,
like you have a bed right there, you got a
fridge full of you know, whatever you want right there,
your snacks right there, your dogs right there, your boyfriends

(25:28):
right here? Like what like where if we were somewhere else,
what would be going on differently than we're going right here?
So like stop complaining about that. That was like the
last she and I understand she's kind of stressed out. Anyways,
I was on the phone with Triple A for like
four hours, like on and on for four hours, and
she was like getting really angry at me because she
was like, dude, you're not being like mean enough to

(25:50):
the Triple A people because they're dropping the ball and
you need to like incite some urgency into them. So
She's like, let me talk to them, and I was like, no,
you're not going to talk to them because she does.
I know. This is I went off to on a tangent. No, No,
this is the most couple thing I've ever heard of
my entire life. Give me the right. She's really good at, like,
you know, like if someone like in that case, like
if they're dropping the ball, she's really good at like

(26:11):
putting her foot down and be like, no, this is unacceptable,
blah blah blah blah blah. And I like him too
easy going with that stuff. But so that's kind of
that's like I wouldn't consider that her being mean, but
that's how like that's her like snark coming out, got it. Yeah,
I just could never imagine Calin talking as as the
deal breaker says, talking, uh like crap about you behind

(26:33):
your back. But hey, you know, I I relate to Klin.
I get cranky when I'm on hold for too long.
To number four talking about X is too much to
the point of comparing the two of you, that's a
big no note for me. What do you think about that? Yeah? Definitely,
what do you think? Yeah, comparing the two of you together,
that's weird, Like you shouldn't compare your ex with your

(26:55):
current boyfriend and girlfriend. It's just like they're different people. Yeah,
I would be like, read it out. I think I've
definitely dated girls before where they like talk about their
X a lot and it's like, Okay, are you like
over them or like do you want to date me
or do you want to date them? Which which one
would you prefer? It? Yeah, whenever I went on dates,
a lot of people would ask about Ashley, and that's
all obviously different because we were dating publicly before you know,

(27:18):
obviously before we're together. But that was always weird to
me because it's like, man, I know that it's just
like where TV characters, but like that actually is like
something very you know, intimate to me. So it's weird
to talk about. But I would get obviously would be
one of the first questions I get, you know, on dates,
which is understandable. Well, fortunately you didn't have many of
those dates, no exactly, because I mean, obviously I was

(27:40):
in love with her, so they had every right to
ask me about it, right right, and you just didn't
get many dates to begin with. Anyways, moving on to
the next one doesn't let you have time to yourself
for the entire life revolves around you to the point
that they suffocate you. Oh this is interesting for you
because I feel like you guys are kind of attached
at the hip, are you not. Yeah, We're definitely attached
to the hip. That's one of my favorite things about

(28:01):
our our relationship is that we truly don't get tired
of each other. There's I mean, I really, off the
top of my head, can't think of an instance where
I thought I need to be away from Ashley for
an extended period of time, Like if I need to
walk away because you know, we just had a you know,
not an argument, but like a tough conversation. I don't

(28:22):
feel like that's something that I need time away from
Ashley for more than a few minutes. So I can
understand this though, because I have had people in my
past who have been very selfocating, and it's extremely annoying
because when I'm like, hey, listen, I just need to
be by myself right now, they're like, no, no, no,
I need to be with you, and You're like no, no, no, no,
no no no, Like you don't understand. You make it

(28:42):
it worse. Please, I will talk. We'll talk about it later. Yeah,
that's I mean, that's good that you guys are both
on the same page about it too. I think that's
the most important thing when it comes to that. With uh,
With Kaylin, it's I think Kaylin probably is out of
all the girls I di did, the most suffocating of
them all. But I've never realized that I actually kind
of enjoy it. So it's like it's kind of nice.

(29:04):
I've always thought like, I don't want it, stay away
from me, I'll you know whatever. But then she like
like latches on sometimes. I I went on the Knicks podcast,
like right when we started dating Kylin and I and
I was like, she's like fell crow She's always sticking
to me, and she always and we always give me
crap about that. She's like, I'm like, she's like always

(29:24):
calling herself my my little bell crowers. I don't know,
something stupid like that. But it's funny because I like, yeah,
like I in theory, like in my brain, I like,
I'm like I don't like this, but then it's happening
and I'm like, okay, cool, this is actually really nice.
And then Kitlin is great too, because while she does
like to be around me, all the time. She also
understands that I'm like, I'm going to go into the
mountains for a week, um and I'll be back. And

(29:48):
she's like, okay, so she's suffocating, but she also gives
me a very long leash if you will. That seems
like a really nice balance. Number six. No testing behavior
be straightforward, or I'll assume you're likely to instigate um
drauma honesty for honesty. Uh yeah, I think that's pretty
I think testing behavior is like pretty immature behavior. You know,

(30:08):
what the hell's testing behaviors that like playing games? Um?
I think I interpret testing behavior as something like I'm
gonna go flirt with that guy over there to see
how you react, or like it, I'm gonna pretend to
be a girl texting you sexy pictures to see like
if my boyfriend's loyal like that kind of that's kind
of how I interpret it to be. Yeah, that's messed up.

(30:31):
That's like a toxic relationship, and that's like toxic. I agree, toxic.
You know, astrology is one of those things where you
do you but if you really believe that stuff, you
and I are likely not a match. I read a
horoscope for entertainment at times, but I don't blame my
behavior or assess my compatibility with someone based on the
random month I was born. And so this person is
saying if there date looks to the stars for personality traits,

(30:57):
not not for them. What do you think? I think
think that If it's like kind of jokey, that's fine.
But if they're a serious saying I can't date you
because I'm meant to data Pisces and you're a Scorpio. Yeah,
look cucko. Yeah. Or it's like when they're they're blaming
their bad behavior on like the cycle of the moon.
That's pretty ridiculous. Yeah, I agree. The moon is a

(31:19):
waxing gimbus, so I you know, I get a little
testy during this time. Yeah, you should just Calin should
start saying that when she's on hold for too long,
it's not me, it's the moon. Deep mercuries and retrogade,
can't you see? Um? If they're terrible with finances is
a big one for this person, which, yeah, I mean

(31:41):
I could see that. I gotta admit it's so sexy
knowing that Calin makes so much more money than me.
It's like such a turn on for me. Is that
is that weird. Uh No, that's not weird. I think
this probably is talking. This person is specifically talking about
not how much money they make, but how much money
they spend, which obviously is is a conversation. Yeah, you
have to have as a couple. But you know what
Andrea three thousand says, it's not how much you make,

(32:03):
it's how much you spent. Ah, Well, if Andrea three
thousands said it, yeah, I guess I mean that makes sense.
Especially look if you're buying silly, silly things. Yeah, but
like you guys have a baby on the way, so
there's you guys got a lot of finances to consider. Otherwise, Well,
I'm lucky that Ashley and I are very much on
the same page about finances. We discussed it. We just

(32:24):
have a very comfortable relationship and we talk about our finances,
and like I'll always ask her, like if I buy
a new golf polo, I swear to God, bro I
wanted to buy this new golf polo for like two
weeks straight. It's company called bad Bertie. I loved it
so much and I went into the store. I called
Ashleys said, should I get this polo? Because there's seventy
dollars and she's like, you don't need it, you have

(32:44):
so many shirts. You're fine. I'm like, nope, you're right,
you're right right. So then I kept thinking about it
from the next week, and then we drove past the
store and I goes, oh, that's where the polo was,
and she's like, pull over and get it. She's like,
if you're still thinking about it after a week, get
the polo, and I said, okay. So I got the
polo and I love it. I like those shirts. It's
just I wish there was more variety with them. They're
they're They've got like four patterns, the bad birdy shirts,

(33:07):
and I like them. And the fabric is really nice
and I'm sure you look dashing in it. I like it. Yeah,
I wore I like it so much. I wore yesterday
for our gender reveal because I got it. It's a
blue and pink one, so it actually worked out well,
Oh nice, what's it going to be blue or pink? Yeah? Yeah.
Kaitlin and I are biggest financial gripe is She likes
to fly business class and I strictly fly economy. I

(33:28):
don't care whether I'm sitting in the back of the
airplane or the front of the airplane, and the airplanes
in the air and it gets to where we need
to go. Don't spend the extra thousand dollars to fly
business class. It's not worth thousand dollars, holy crap, whatever
it is. I don't know. It could be five, could
be two thousand. She like insists always on upgrading to
business or first class, and I, like, I have to

(33:50):
struggle with arguing with her about how it's an unnecessary
spend of money. Yeah, I when we bounce back and
forth from Virginia, I don't care, like you know, but
last oh, near the bathroom whatever. I was the economy.
But when when we go from like l A to
Boston and then we're in the air for six hours,
sometimes like we'll we'll do a deep dive search to

(34:11):
see how much more first class is, because sometimes you
can get a really good deal and it's like an
extra two for first class. But that's well worth it
for six hour flight, but not for an hour flight.
I agree, And so Kayle and I are going to
Europe next week. And I was kind of one of
the big arguments, not arguments, but like debates. She's like well,
we could spend eight more and we're in uh comfort plus,

(34:33):
and I'm like, okay, it's just not worth it. And
then I was like, I thought we decided on it.
And then she comes back a couple of days later
and she's like, well, yeah, well the upgrade is only
a couple extra hundrells and like, no, we've already decided
we're flying economy. It's happening this way. All right, let's
get a couple more because so who won who won
that argument? We're flying economy gear She's gonna be so
cranky that entire flight. So we're flying economy, but I'm

(34:55):
going to stay there a couple extra days to meet
up with one of my friends. So she's flying back solo.
And I would be willing to stake a lot of
money on the fact that she's going to fly business
or first class back because she's doing that for herself
rather than for both of us, you know what I mean? No,
that makes sense. Um, all right, let's see, we've got

(35:17):
a couple more here. They spend their free time sitting
on their phone, but get annoyed when I play a
few hours of PlayStation to relax. Dude, I can relate
to this so hard. Ashley is on her phone constantly.
She's out. She just poked her head and I'm sure
she's gonna pull her head back in to yell at
me for saying this. She's on her phone. We're both

(35:39):
on our phones because we work a lot on our
phones obviously. But then she'll put her phone down and
I'll be on my phone, and then she'll have the
guts to look at me and say, you're always on
your phone. I'm like, oh, here we go, here we go.
She just puts her phone down, and then I stay
on my phone for like an extra twenty minutes and
she looks at me and says, I'm always on my phone.

(36:01):
Or then she'll be on her phone. Like last night,
good example, We're sitting on the couch. She's got a
post like I already posted, did my thing. So I'm
just watching TV. It's like nine o'clock at night. I
know I'm gonna have to take the dog out an hour,
so I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go play a video game.
And she's like why, and I'm like, well, I'm gonna
just go play a game in Madden and you're on
your phone and she's like, and I'm like, you're on

(36:23):
your phone. Don't get mad at me because I want
to play a video game. Okay, I agree. Anyway, as
you can see, I'm very passionate about this. I see
that this list is supposed to be deal breakers. That's
obviously not a deal breaker for you, nor should it be.
This guy seems to be even more And this guy
definitely like is dating this girl? Right, this person that
wrote this, I would say, I agree with you, Like,

(36:44):
especially in the height of the pandemic, I was probably
playing like six hours of Call of Duty a day,
you know, because it's like, what else am I supposed
to do? I'm not I can't go outside, i can't
leave the house. I'm supposed to hang out with my girlfriend.
Screw that exactly never And Caylin was like, she was
like super cool with that at first, but but then
by like the second week, she was like, dude, you
play so much video games. And I'm like, well, if

(37:07):
I wasn't playing video games, what would I be doing?
Watching TV with you? Which is not a bad thing,
don't get me wrong, but like watching TV and playing
video games, Comparing those two, playing video games is the
superior option, because at least you're like interacting with the
TV instead of just sitting there mindlessly watching you know,
Real Housewives of Dallas or something like that, which, again
not bashing because those shows are entertaining and I do

(37:30):
love just snuggling up and watching TV with Kalin, but
they're there there. I don't know, it's just like you
need some variety. Yeah, And I just it's so weird
how it seems like girls just don't seem to understand
why boys love video games so much. They're so fun. Oh,
there's so much fun. One of my favorite jokes of
all time is Dane Cook's joke about a video games

(37:53):
because he said he moved into his house with his
girlfriend and he was playing a video game and she
was like, oh, why do you even like doing that?
Video games are stupid? And you look back at her
and he's like, you better get used to stupid because
stupid loves here. Um, all right, well i'll do it
for the dating deal breakers. Let us know what your

(38:15):
deal breakers are. Email us, uh, either email us, follow us,
caption comment like do all that stuff. I don't even
know what I was gonna say. Caption you can caption
our stuff too. Where can the email us? Do you
remember the email for the podcast? Yes it is no
no no no no no no, I know it. I know. Okay,
you can email us at I Suck at Dating at

(38:36):
I heart media dot com. That is, I Suck at
Dating at I heart media dot com. Thank you Hannah
for putting that into the rundown. Uh, let us know
your deal deal breakers, we want to hear him. We're
gonna take a quick break, but right afterwards we're gonna
go to your listener question and answers and then of
course answer an email. Hello everyone, welcome back to help

(39:09):
I Suck at podcast at Dating. We are going to
get We're gonna get into listener Q and a s
that we had you guys submit on our Instagram page
just a couple of days ago. I think, um, if
you don't already follow us on Instagram, help Underscore I
Underscore suck Underscore at Underscore Dating, help by SECUD Dating,

(39:33):
Underscores of Spaces, shoot us a follow because Jared is
superactive on it and you're not gonna want to miss
any sweet help by secud Dating Updates. So Jared, question
submitted for you, Jared, are you and actually doing anything
to keep the marriage spicy during pregnancy, not as of yet,
uh age. I mean, honestly, we haven't had much into

(39:56):
the past few months, a couple of months, just because
of how bad Ashley has been feeling. I mean she's
been thrown up daily and been pretty sick and not
feeling her best. And uh, it's it's been fine. You know.
We just you know, you prioritize things, and uh, I'm
sure we will over the next you know, weeks or months, Uh,

(40:18):
you know, work on things to spice things up. It
was actually really funny, not to like get too gross
into it, but obviously when a woman is pregnant, her
body starts changing. And uh, I'm sure she doesn't mind
me sharing this. I touched her nipples yesterday. Dude, They're
like weird. She was telling me about it because she

(40:42):
she Ashley wants to show me pictures because like they
just like get huge and like they're big. They've gotten
like very big and apparently not nearly as big as
some other women have to go through. But it's just
like crazy, you know what I mean when you say big,
like the ariola is expanding, or like the nipple part

(41:03):
is getting longer. Both the nipple parts long, and I
mean I'll ask her. Hopefully she doesn't mind me saying this.
The podcast actually loves over sharing. It's great. It's part
of what makes her so um endearing. She no, that's

(41:24):
what I said. Comparably speaking, nothing all right, well, comparably speaking,
apparently they're nothing, but they're still pretty long. Let's just
be clear. I don't have gigantic areas. She does not
have gigantic ariolas. That is what I don't want anybody
imagining that. Okay, nobody's imagining that. We just want to
set the record straight on this. No, gigantic areal is

(41:47):
just a little very pointing. But they're definitely pointer than
I'm used to. So when I touched them, Mr, And
I was like, holy crap. I just didn't expect it
because I haven't, like, you know, taking a detailed look
at him lately. And uh, it was quite kind of funny.
But no, I'm sure to answer your question. Wow, I'm
very much oversharing. I'm sure over the next couple months
we will do things to spice things up, like some

(42:08):
nipple play. Uh. And I think at the end of
the day, to comparatively to other people. Maybe not huge,
but relative to how they're they used to be, you've
noticed some significant growth. So I think you're you're justified
and talking about your wife's nipples like that. I love
my wife's nipples. Yeah, that's great, and now there's more
of them to love. Uh So, Dean, let me ask

(42:28):
a question for you, Um, Dean, do you think Calin
is your soul mate? And if yes or no, do
you believe in soulmates? I don't know if I really
believe in soul mates. I we've talked about this on
the podcast a while ago. I like, I was curious
about it. I was like, I wonder if Calen thinks
I'm her soul mate? So I texted her. She says, yes,

(42:49):
I would I would say yes, but with an ASTERIXX
of saying I don't really believe in soul mates. So
that makes no sense. Caitlin is my soul mate, I
just don't believe in him. If soul mates are a thing,
I would say, yeah, she's my solmmate. Well that's a
very sweet answer. I don't believe silmmates are real. So
I say, now she thinks that we're sol mates? And

(43:12):
all right, appreciating that al right, next one for you. Well,
it's a nice it's a nice answer. It's gonna be
a nicer um, Jared, does actually have a limit on
how long you'll grow your hair? Uh? Yeah, I don't
think she wants it any longer than it is right now.
I actually just got a trim, but it's still not
that sure. I am going to cut it short, probably

(43:33):
sometime over the winter, maybe early next year, somewhere around there.
Go back to like the length I had at the wedding.
Does she have any input on the length? Though she
likes this length, She likes this length a lot, she
doesn't want it pretty much any longer than this, you know,
Like like I stated before, Tom cruise a mission possible too.
That's like the longest it's going to get. But I
like the long hair. I uh, it's just like, as

(43:55):
you know, man, it's just like, especially in this heat,
holy crap, it's like a mop on your head. I
don't know how a lot of people with long hair
do it, but I do miss my short hair at
times as well. So I'm I'm excited to cut my
hair short, but I also know once I do, I'm
going to immediately regret it. Hair is so funny because like,
I'll like go back through old pictures and I'll see
myself with short hair and I'm like, wow, I was

(44:17):
so much more handsome with short hair. And then I'll
go back further to where my hair was even longer
than it is now, and I was like, man, I
was so much more handsome with that long, long hair.
It's like, it doesn't make any sense. I don't understand
any of Like so pretty much you're just saying you're
always handsome. Oh I'm so handsome. I just think I
think in the present moment that I'm always in, I'm like,
I'm the least attractive version of myself, and for some reason,

(44:39):
I look back at old pictures and I'm like, wow,
you're so much better looking back then, especially better looking
than you are now, you know what I mean. And
I'm sure like in a year, I'm going to look
back on a picture that I took of myself yesterday
and be like, wow, dude, you were so much more
handsome in Montana when you recorded that podcast and your
brothers truck in the parking lot of a breakfast diner.
But who knows. I think obviously you're peaking right now,

(45:03):
but your second highest peak was definitely right around the
last paradise you were on with Kaylin. I love you're
so consistent with us walking onto the beach and the
all black outfit, because at the wedding you look great too.
But dude, when you walk down those stairs, both I'll
never forget. Ashley and I looked at each other and

(45:24):
was like, like, I dare Kylin to not leave with
this guy. I dare her to try. That's funny, because
you know, I didn't feel cute in that moment. I
remember that moment so specifically because I like wanted my
hair to be nice, and you know how like, especially
when you have long hair, you want to like shampoo
it and condition it like a day or two before.
You want people like before it looks it's best, right,

(45:47):
so you kind of like get like prepare a couple
of days in advance. And I remember, like I think
in the hotel I was staying in, there was no
conditioner or something like that, and so I couldn't condition
my hair, and I was like, Ah, this is gonna suck.
I'm gonna walk down there and my hair is gonna
be all greasy and gross and I remember that day
like I was like trying to like style it appropriately.
They wouldn't let me wear my head band, which I
was wearing all season because I was in like a weird,
awkward stage and I was like, oh, my hair is

(46:09):
just not going to be good. But then it looked
good on camera. I think there was like some editing
or something involved, because it did look pretty good. Yeah, Oh,
it looked amazing. I don't think it was editing. I
think it was just the glow. All right, we'll do
one more question before we go into our email. Uh,
this is for both of us. Would you rather be
stuck in a room with your significant other? Or wait? Wait,

(46:31):
would you rather be stuck in a room with your
significant other or with your celebrity crush? My significantly hold
on sorry, because it says would you rather be stuck
in a room with your significant other with your ex
or celebrity crush? Oh how is that even a question?
Of course, my significant other with your X. So it

(46:54):
would be like you, actually you Ashley and Kayla like
in a room together, or you and Penelope Cruz, Well,
Penelope Cruises and my my crush. I mean, she's very attractive,
who is. Jennifer Lopez was my crush for quite some
time still is obviously, I would say Rachel, Well, Rachel

(47:14):
McAdams was a big crush. Emma Stone was a big crush.
Like all very basic answers, who's yours, I'm gonna try
to think of a better one. Um, my celebrity crush,
I mean Galgant dots up there, obviously, Yeah, she's cool.
I think my celebrity crush. I'm gonna get in trouble
for saying this. I guess it's like. The only only

(47:37):
non photographer celebrity that I follow on Instagram is Alexis Wren,
So I would say that's my celebrity crush. Alexis Wren.
Who's that? She's just like some girl I'm gonna go
and follow right now. I feel guilty about it actually,
to be honest, Well, is she like? Who is this

(47:58):
human being? Oh? She's ford seen the blonde? She was like,
I'm dancing with the stars. She used to day. J Aubreds,
who I also followed, who I've also been meaning to
unfollowed because he's just like weird? Is it this person? Yeah?
That was my celebrity crush and Caitlyn could confirm that too,
But like I said, I'm going I'm going through with
the unfollowing right this, Yeah, unfollowed. We don't need that. Hey,

(48:20):
I well, I kind of wanted to resent brought this
question up. Ash. Would you rather be stuck in a
room with me or leonarder A DiCaprio You had to
choose one? Are you serious? Wow? That's so sweet. She
said she'd rather be stuck in a room with me
rather than Leo. Ash, You're so sweet, I said, you too,

(48:42):
and no, I did. All right, Well, let's get into
an email before we head, added, I want to answer this.
You didn't ask me any of the other other questions.
I want to answer this first one to read that
one for me? How does Dean deal with differences of
religion with Calin? And how would work with your kids
if you guys have kids. You were holding that one,
and I think that you were doing it because you

(49:02):
thought I didn't want to answer it. But I do
want to answer it, and I'm going to answer it
right now. We have different takes on religion. Calin and
I obviously I am agnostic more or less raised Presbyterian
since transitioned into agnosticism. So I don't really believe in anything.
I don't disbelieve in anything, but I'm just kind of
like convinced me. Like if something came down and they

(49:25):
were like, Okay, like this is real, here's proof, I'd like, Okay, cool,
that makes sense, I believe. Now. Calin is pretty Christian.
She goes to church pretty often. She's got like her
uh religious texts that she has around, like she writes,
you know, her daily prayers and all that kind of stuff.
And I think that there is probably a growing number
of these like inter faith or lack there of relationships,

(49:48):
And that's kind of why I wanted to answer it. Um.
I think the biggest thing is just like openness to
talk about it a and like an understanding that just
because you think something different than the other person doesn't
mean the other person is more wrong or less right
than you are, you know what I mean. So, like
when it comes to religion, Caitlin and I I like

(50:09):
support her religion and like her religious efforts and all
that kind of stuff. And I think, at the end
of the day, like she's not throwing it in my face,
Like she's not like throwing Christianity in my face, and
as long as she's not doing that, I totally don't care.
Like she can do whatever she wants, she can believe
whatever she wants. I like to press her on a
couple of certain things, you know, like factual reasonings as

(50:31):
to like why things are the way that they are,
especially when it comes to religious texts. I'll press her
on it, just like to a gain clarity for myself,
and I like him, just curious to see like what
she has to say about a lot of that stuff.
And so she is always going to be Christian and
I love that, and I think that she definitely should
and if we have kids, I I guess right. We

(50:51):
have never really talked about that. Yeah, because that that
was my next question. Because obviously it's fine that you
guys can say, hey, I believe this, I believe that,
and we can live and love each other of that.
But then how do you do the kids. What are
you going to do with your with little baby Dean? Well,
once a little baby Dean comes into the world in February. Uh,
we haven't really talked about it. Ashley and I think

(51:13):
are both very similar on our religious beliefs. Um it's
not a big factor in our lives. Um. You know,
we don't go to church. Um. I think both of
us like to believe in a higher power, but we
definitely are also agnostic to a you know, a certain extent.

(51:37):
You know, I think we both believe that something is there,
we just don't know what it is. So, UM, I
think that's how we're going to kind of raise our kids.
And you know, I'm You're going to introduce our kids
to a lot of different ideas and and beliefs. And
I want them to be exposed to a bunch of
different ideas and and you know we'll we'll well, we'll

(51:57):
work together as a family through it. You grew up Catholic, right,
so you like went to church every Sunday with your parents. No,
I mean we would go to church occasionally. We were
not good churchgoers. Uh. So that's why it was never
really like a huge factor in my life. We always
believed in the presence of God and and to a
certain extent, I do now today, um, because I want to. Um,

(52:22):
But I also realized that you know, there might not
be But you know, I choose to believe, uh in
a higher power because I want to. I'll take your
opinion on this. Then let's say Kylin and I have
a kid and she wants to take it to church,
take it as if it's just a thing. She wants
to take the kid to church to like instill some

(52:43):
religious values in it at a young age. But I
don't and I don't care about it. So would you
say that, like, just them too, you should go to
church and I stay home? Or should I be supportive
and go with them all even though I don't believe
in it? You know what I mean? Like, what would
you advise someone like someone in my situation, and that's
to do well? I would say that you should go

(53:04):
with them and explain things, you know, because I think
probably one of the reasons why you're agnostic is as
you grow older, things are more explained to you, and
I think then you look through a different lens at
certain things in your life. And so I think if
you wanted to just you know, give your child as

(53:25):
much knowledge as possible to let them make the best decision,
then I would go with them. I wouldn't like just
be like, oh, you do whatever you want to do
and then we're not going to talk about it. I
think the best course would be you to join them,
because like, if you're agnostic, then you don't really care
about going to church. Like you can go, you can
go and take it. Wake up early on Sunday and
freaking drive to the church and sit through the family trip.

(53:46):
You get some coffee on the way. I mean, honestly,
of course, each family needs to decide what's best for themselves.
But if you're asking for my advice, that would be
my advice. Yeah, that's good advice. That's good advice. And
if it's on a Sunday, hey, maybe I can sneak
my phone in and watch some some NFL read Zone
or something. Well, of this sermon is going on. Anyways,
we are going to get to one quick email and
then we are gonna let you guys get the heck

(54:07):
out of here, because I'm sick of sitting in this truck. Um.
The email is this from chat? Do you have anyone
out there that wants to read this? Anyone in the
podcasting universe that wants to read this. I'll read it
if you're if you yeah, I haven't read in a while.
Um okay, Hi Miames Eastern And this is an email

(54:29):
from Chad. A couple of months ago. I slept with
one of my family friends. The family is literally my
second family. We spent all major holidays together, we go
on vacations. She has four years younger than me, and
it's like my little sister. I have never thought of
her as attractive and this was just a drunk mistake.
I am now super nervous and anxious about being around

(54:51):
her family, and I hope no one ever finds out.
How do I not act awkward when I see her? Help? Damn? Wow? Wow,
So you hooked up with your little sister. That's that's dude,
Thank you the sweeth holme Alabama music. Oh god, d
If you sleep with someone, please don't ever describe them

(55:13):
as then as a little sister. Like what the hell? Man?
I so god, I don't know. This is just weird
and I've never thought of her as attractive, and this
was a drunk mistake. I just I guess. Okay, let's

(55:33):
let's start by saying this, Hey, she never needs to
know that you don't find her attractive and be that
you think it was a drunken mistake. Those things should
never leave your mouth again when it comes to talking
about this, especially with her. Yeah, you just just freaking
go talk to her and say, hey, that was great,
but we never are going to do it again. That's

(55:54):
what I would say. And if we and like maybe
throw in like and also if we could like kind
of keep it a seak, great, that would be really great. Um,
I don't know, that's my advice. What do you think?
I don't know. There's there has to be more than
that that has to happen. But uh, Bob, yeah, I
don't know. This one kind of stumps me. I just think, like, yeah,
go talk to her. Hopefully the family doesn't find out.

(56:16):
Hopefully you guys can move on. Talk to her. That's important.
But don't say it was a drink mistake and I
don't find you attractive. Yeah, definitely don't say that. Just
say hey, it was you know, one night. I'm not
sure if we should do this again. You know, it's
complicated his situation. Uh yeah, I got nothing. It's just
like so awkward. I got nothing for you on this one. Sorry, Chad.

(56:38):
You can drop from experience on this one, can't you, Obviously?
I mean I haven't. I haven't slept for like a
close family friend like that, And I have not regretted
anyone I've ever had sex with every sex is a
gift that should be cherished and treasured. Beautiful, beautiful, But damn,
I think I agree with you guys, So you gotta say, uh, hey,

(57:02):
that was fun. Uh. You know, I wouldn't expect it
to happen again because of the the complexities around our
relationship and how we know each other. Um. I very
much treasure you as a friend and I would like
to continue that friendship. And if it were me, I

(57:22):
would want to be Uh, I would probably want to
distance myself from this person for a while. Yeah, maybe
don't go to the family parties for a little while. Yeah, yeah,
I mean, you know, I don't know. I don't know
how old Chad is. But like you know, I don't
know how often these events are happening these days. But yeah,
I would maybe sit out the next barbecue or two

(57:42):
and uh and uh. But but you know, have a
conversation whether he and be honest, because you don't want
her to feel like like, oh, hey we did this
and then he just like disappeared. What happened? Um, But yeah,
don't don't say that you don't find a attractive and
then it was a mistake. That's good advice to not
let that leave your mouth, right I I agree with
your take. The complexities thing really sold me. You are

(58:04):
a man with a very great vocabulary. Thank you, Thank
you where economy is important to me? All Right? I
think that's gonna do it. On this week's episode of
Help I Suck at Dating, Eastan, thank you so much
for reading that email, and thank you Chad for us
where does that email was? Thank you for setting in
Wishing you the best of luck with that buddy, and
please keep emailing us. Everybody listening. We love your emails.

(58:27):
It's Dean's favorite part of the podcast. It is legitimately
the only reason he sticks around. I Suck at Dating
at i heeart media dot com. You can also follow
us at help I Suck at Dating on Instagram. Thank
you to everybody who chimed in for the questions on Instagram.
Thank you Alex Rodriguez for posting a dumb picture so
we can talk about it. Uh, And I think that's
gonna do it. So what can they do next week? Deean,

(58:49):
Oh my gosh, they could tune in because Jared, we
might just suck a little bit less. Follow help by
Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you
listen a podcast m HM