August 30, 2019 • 43 mins
Annaliese Puccini has lost at love now THREE TIMES on Bachelor shows...but she stops by to see Vanessa and Dean LIVE at the SF GIANTS GAME to reveal how things have changed! Maybe she doesn't suck at dating.... But first she tells us everything that went down with Chris Bukowski on Paradise.
The Married Men from HOW MEN THINK are here to help the singles find love and consider settling down.
Do you still think about your past loves even when you're in a relationship and is that ok???Does Dean like it when a woman is more successful than him...his answer may surprise you. (He reveals something he finds SEXY)
Does the cost of an engagement ring really matter? Did Vanessa like the ring she received during the proposal on her Bachelor season?
and Dean fills us in on what convinced him to return to Paradise.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I Suck Good Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and
I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, Welcome to this week's
episode of Help I Suck At Dating. A very special
episode because we are recording live from Oracle Park, I
can't take you seriously in San Francisco. We're on a
little bit of a time constraint today, so Vanessa and
(00:21):
I are gonna be bulldozing through this episode. We've got
a fun one, We've got analyze here in the stadium
with us. We also have the men from How Men
Think About Dmitri and Rick are going to come on.
And Rick actually has a thirteen year old son who's
the eighth grade who I want to get. I want
to ask he's a good looking young man. I want
to ask him what it's like to date as an
(00:42):
eighth grader. Because obviously we're all, as co host, pretty
removed from eighth grade. I just think it'd be fun
to see maybe how it's changed. We can compare and
contrast how it was for us. I think it's a
good idea all those decades ago. Um, but first, thanks, first, Vanessa,
how are you? I'm good? So we literally just landed,
came straight to the stadium, So at Oracle Park right now.
It's my second time in San Francisco. Um, I've been
(01:05):
to a few baseball games before. When X when when
Montreal had the Expos. We're trying to get them back
real hard. Washington. Yeah, um so now the capitals now
that the capital, So we're trying to I mean, Expos
don't exist anymore, so we're really trying hard to get
them back to Montreal. So I brought my baseball cap.
Hopefully I won't get any popcorn thrown at me today,
but very excited to be here. I haven't seen you
(01:25):
in a while. A minute, Yeah, it's been since Tahoe.
Well you um did a loan solo episode two weeks ago. Yea,
and you were at a wedding this past weekend. I
was at two weddings this past weekend, and that kind
of when's the last time you went to a wedding? Well,
I mean we know that answer. Um. Yeah, I feel
like after I went to those weddings, I love. Maybe
(01:49):
it's because we were on the show and we have
that we're constantly in the spotlight. I just felt like,
I think the day I get married, I just want
to have a barbecue. I'm gonna invite people to a
barbecue in my backyard. Whoever shows up shows up, and
they have they'll have no idea. That's my actual wedding day,
and then that'll be it. Like no one has to
spend money on their hair, no one has to spend
money on buying a dress. I've had a similar thought
(02:10):
to that, actually, but it would be a beach thing.
So I mean, yeah, I think it's it's good. But
what about the weddings gave you that idea. I don't know.
I think it was just, uh, it's a lot, you know,
it's a lot of planning and preparation, and that even
for the guests going watch me have the most elaborate wedding.
After I say this, well, you are kind of like,
uh uh oh God, here here comes an insult. Insult you?
(02:35):
How do I say this? You like nice things? Oh? Really? Well?
Like you? I don't know. I know it looks like
I like nice things, but I like to like you
like nice clothes, and you like to do your hair.
And where jewelry do you? Not? Not? Really? The only
jewelier I'm wearing right now is my ring that my
grandmother gave me looking through your Instagram. I I see
you as like a like a high class and I
(02:57):
like dressing up. Absolutely know, I didn't want to, Oh
you do not know me, but like someone that likes
to like celebrate grand grandly, you know what I mean.
I mean, listen, if we're comparing you to me, yes,
but no, I don't live in a van. I live
in a very nice part of the Especially with you
(03:19):
being like as um and like aware of your own
emotions as you are, I feel like it's gonna be
hard for you not to want to have a big
wedding because I don't know. I mean, listen, I come
from an Italian background, and we the weddings that we do,
the baptism, the confirmations, like everything is always so big
and we sell it. We love to celebrate um And
for me, it's like I want to celebrate with the
(03:40):
people that I see on a daily basis, and that's
the people that I basically see every Sunday, which is
my family and my closest friends. So I don't know,
this is just something that went through my head because
it was a lot. That day was two weddings, and
then the next day, yes, and it was an hour away.
There were an hour away from each other. How did
that end up working out? So one of the morning
wedding and one was an afternoon one was they were
(04:02):
both an afternoon wedding. But my boyfriend came with me
to the first one, which was my close friend, and
then I went to his friend's reception, so I got
to meet all the rest of his friends. Um, which
was crazy because I think I was talking about it
with Annelie, who's here high girl, which okay, So she's like,
I didn't know that you were got You and Josh
were dating for a couple of months. I think people
(04:23):
think that I've we've been dating for longer than how
long is Christmas? December? Jenni Faberite March, April, May, June July. Wow,
you're good nine months? Um, no idea why I just
said that. Oh yeah, So I met the rest of
his friends at the wedding, right, So for me, I
think it's so let me ask you this, being with
your boyfriend, surrounded by love and weddings, all these things
(04:47):
that make you peel all these things, How does that
does it put things into perspective for you at all? Like?
Does it make you want to maybe expedite the process
a little bit or get you more excited for marriage
potentially with Josh, I mean, listen, you know me, I've
always wanted to get married, I've always wanted to have kids,
and I think for the longest time, every time I
(05:07):
started dating someone, I thought, oh, this is the person
for me, because in my romantic head, I thought, if
I'm dating him, for sure, he's going to be the
person and end up with. But with Josh, it's such
a different feeling. It's a sense of like I feel
at home with him, um and yeah. When we're at
the wedding together, I'm like, I can't wait for the
day where I'm walking down the aisle and I just
want to see his face when the first time he
(05:29):
sees me, and those thoughts that go through my mind.
And then a couple of days later, he looked at
me when we woke up and he's like, I'm gonna
marry you, and I'm like, my god, I'm gonna cry.
Can I ask a favorite of you when you get married?
Will you invite me to your wedding and not invite Jared.
(05:50):
That's the favor that I'm asking of you right now,
Like I said it's gonna be a small wedding, so
maybe no one's getting an invite. So it's just being
Josh and I. There you go. If you're listening to this,
I'm going to va it is not. The challenging thing
for me is when I get married, who am I
going to invite? Me? Does? Because I have to continue
(06:10):
the trend of one person can come one So I
guess it's going to go back to me not coming.
I mean as whatever. I always feel like the left,
the one man that's out of the equation. I'm gonna
have a wedding and you're gonna be the only person
in attendance. I love it. Can I what's it called officiate?
You can officiate? Yeah, that'd be great. Um, okay, cool.
So you had the weddings, You are incredibly happy in
your relationship, very happy. But now enough about me, Jane.
(06:34):
So we just watched the last episode of this well
this week's episode on Tuesday. Well, so, just for the
listener's sake, we're recording this episode the Thursday before the
week after I dumped Kalin. So we have not seen
this week's episode of Bachelor in Paradise, but it has
been teased that I returned back to Paradise this week,
but again we have not seen the episode, so we
(06:55):
don't know exactly what happens um and I can't really
talk much about it. Let me just tell you this.
I guess between the time of me leaving and the
time of me being teased coming back, I think I
can tell you what I did. I landed in San Diego.
I drove all the way to the Grand Canyon. I
sat there for a couple of hours, thought about things,
(07:15):
Listen to music, listen to some lectures, read a book,
drove down to Phoenix. Called one of the producers and said, hey,
I want to come back to the beach. What do
you think this is? After how many days after you
left Paradise. This was basically the same day I think
I landed in San Diego and I called them and
I was like, hey, guys, I'm sad you left and
(07:37):
you had immediate regrets. So this is in between time
between obviously, Like I think that's kind of appropriate, right
because I left on the show and I come back
next week, and so yeah, this isn't between time. And
so yeah, so I landed and I was really upset,
and so I called them, We figured it out. I
don't think I can get too much into the nitty
gritty about that right now, but UM, drove to the
Grand Canyon, thought about things, called them. They decided today
would let me come back. And so that's what you're
(07:58):
gonna see next week is me coming back, which will
be fun for us to watch. I think I don't
really know how it's going to go, but my hopes
are high and it should be at least entertaining if
nothing else. Um, But obviously next week, after that all happens,
we can talk about it a little bit more depth. Yes,
because I have so many questions. I actually wrote a draft.
(08:20):
I wrote a list of questions because it's it's so
upsetting to see. And I'm such a fan of Dean
and you know this, So it's so upsetting to see
the self doubt that you have about yourself and how
you think someone else observes more happiness. And I like
how Calin puts you in your spot every now and then,
and she's like, why are you making that decision for me?
(08:40):
So I do want to get into this, but I
guess we'll talk about it next week when you do
reappear hopefully she'll take you back. I do want to.
I'll touch on that really quick, Kenn, we can move
on to the next segment. Um. I think that the
self doubt is more of not that I don't think
I have enough to offer people, but just that I'm
not willing to offer the things that they want to receive.
You know what I mean? Is that just because I
(09:02):
just said I'm in a mode in my life right
now where i want to focus on myself and be selfish, etcetera, etcetera.
But I would love touch more on that next week
when we talk about that, when we're able to talk
about that more depth. Um. So, next up, we are
going to speak with fellow Bachelor contestant and she's going
to update us on her life because she's been dating
and it's getting pretty serious. Can we talk about it?
(09:24):
But we can't wait? Wait, yes, we can talk about it,
but before we talk about it, sorry, the producer is
looking at me with a stink face, like we can't
talk about it a h percent. We can talk about
and we're going to talk about it. Before we do that, though,
We're gonna take one quick break and then really dive
into it with Amlice Okay, we're back. So Anale, Hi,
(09:46):
how are you. I'm doing well and you look great.
You just cut your hair. I love it. I love
the new look. I did a little jop. I thought
like I needed a new do looking hot. It took
us put let's go ahead and edit that part. No,
(10:06):
please keep that alright, as Pillison, last time we talked
to you, we were in Tahoe. That was like four
or five weeks ago something like that. Isn't that short that? Okay,
maybe five six weeks ago. Anyways, phil us in what's
going on in your life? Life has been good? Uh?
(10:26):
Are we really talking about my dating is a dating podcast? Yes,
I have been dating somebody tell us about it. Dean
loves getting and he's really good at getting information out
of people. So just warning you. Whatever you feel like sharing,
I'm gonna share like the bare minimum because I'm not
ready to dive in completely with details. But but yeah,
(10:49):
I met somebody and he's great, and I feel like, uh,
it's the first time, maybe ever, that I'm like, Wow,
I'm worthy of this kind of relationship and I feels yeah,
I don't know if I don't know, if maybe I
thought in the past that like I deserved somebody this
great and he's really amazing. How did you meet? Uh?
(11:09):
We met at a time. It's a very much like
when you least expected situation. I was. It was right
after doing Paradise and I was done with men for
a bit. I was like, I'm going to just take
a break from dating. I'm not going to date until
maybe the show is done airing, and then you know,
slowly get back into things. I had a couple of
people that wanted to set me up with, you know,
(11:30):
friends of the family or whatever, and I'm like, okay, sure,
but not for a while because I'm just not ready
and I'm taking a break. And then I went out
to bring up be a wing woman basically for a
friend of mine, and she started talking to these guys
and when we became friends with them and then just
have hung out pretty much every day since. Didn't work
out for your friends, No, I mean that was like
(11:51):
she she unfortunately didn't. Well, she actually did meet somebody,
but not that weekend. So yeah, things are good and okay, great,
So that was how long like six weeks ago? Ish,
we're cusping on too many months. Yeah, that's great. It's
always the most interesting time too, because like you're trying
to get to know someone, you're trying to figure out
what they like, what they dis like. Also very weird
because the show started airing like, oh two weeks maybe
(12:15):
after we So, how did you approach that with him?
Because I'm sure he knew that you were from the
Bachelor franchise. He didn't because he's not he's so far
removed from social media and all that sort of stuff,
So that's a great sign. Yeah, So I I just
said it, like on second time we hung out one
on one, or maybe the first time we hung out
one on one, I was like, I gotta be honest
with you, did you know what it was? Did you
(12:36):
know what? Trying to remember if he did, because my
boyfriend still has so many questions. He has no idea
what Paradise is. He's like, oh, she's on it? Why
was she on it? Did she not? Fine? Love? And
I'm like, yeah, it's yeah, I mean that's something how
the conversation was as well. But yeah, I think he
was sort of aware of the show but doesn't know
anything about it. So and then, how was it watching
(12:57):
the show when you were on it with him? Oh?
I didn't did you like, did you like this allow him?
Like you just said you're not watching it or you know.
I actually I have a really really hard time watching
myself back on it. So I wasn't going to watch it.
And then when I found out that I was going
to the reunion, I just binge watched every episode. How
did you feel about your parts on the show? Um so,
(13:19):
I actually had. I had seen my parts, just because
I have friends on the East Coast who would send
me clips because I was I'd have panic attacks like
minor ones before, you know, knowing like okay, tonight's the
night that this part airs, so they would send me
my little clips, and um so I got to see
that in real time. Basically we talk about paradise for
a second. I know it's hard to put yourself back
(13:40):
into that situation, especially now that you're you know, in
a good relationship. What happened with the whole Chris Poukowski thing.
Uh So that that was frustrating to watch back, and
I don't like it's always hard because I don't know
exactly what I can say, and just um he he
was really pursuing me that first week, and they didn't
really show our relationship at all. And I think it's
(14:03):
frustrating watching it back and seeing it be shown as
so one sided because it really wasn't and he really,
I think, struggled with that decision that night. I Christina
sort of like came and had a conversation with him,
and I think I don't know what was going through
his head, but um, but I think he was probably thinking,
(14:24):
oh maybe and at least is more serious, and so
I don't want to be like committing myself to her
for the rest of this time. Um, but I just
wish he would have had that conversation with me, because
if he would have, you would have realized I wasn't
there yet. But do you have any resentment towards Christina
ever coming in and saying that? I mean a little bit.
I feel like whatever she said to Chris was the
same thing she said to Blake when he was I
(14:47):
feel like it was the exact same And yeah, so
I mean, but the thing is is everything happens for
a reason, and I am a firm believer on that,
and I think that, yes, I was disappointed in the
moment because I felt really jipped of the whole experience. Um.
Watching it back then and like my person definitely never
showed up on the beach, So it's you know, it
(15:08):
is what it is. I think I sort of went
back this time thinking, oh, I'm excited to make more
friends and be still open to the possibility of love
because it's sort of worked for me, uh the year before,
you know, Um, so I was hopeful, but I yeah,
I just felt jipped more than anything. Both comparing season
to season. It's hard too because you were there for
(15:30):
a short amount of time this second time around. But
also you it's it's easier to kind of remove yourself
because you got less attached to someone, right, So would
you say that like the first time was better or
the second time was better in your experience? So, and
this is another part of just editing that gets frustrating.
Is I actually, I really really loved how I handled
Paradise this year. I felt like I went in, I
(15:52):
was open, I talked to everyone, which wasn't really shown,
but I did there. I felt like there weren't a
ton of options for me, and I actually did have
a connection with Chris and so it was just an easy,
natural fit to just spend my time with him. But
but I still was happy with how I handled everything. Uh,
(16:13):
maybe some things I would have done slightly different, but
I did feel like I did Paradise the way I
wanted to do Paradise this year, even though it was
only a very short amount of time. And to your point,
like you said earlier, it's hard to look back and
regret anything because you're happy now, right So it's like
everything happened for a reason. Obviously, it's a It's a
good place to be right now because I feel like
my perspective on all of it is just so different,
and I'm really grateful that I met somebody who doesn't
care that I was on a dating show, and you
(16:35):
know that I put myself in this crazy world. You know.
I think that's a classic example of like you said,
it's so cliche, but I really do believe that everything
happens for a reason. Like before I went on the show,
I I fell in love with a guy, and I
thought I was never going to find love again, and
I thought it was the end of the world for me.
And then fast forward three years later, I'm on the
show and I get engaged and I was at a high,
(16:58):
and then the relationship ends and again you're back out
of low and you whenever you're at that point in
your life, you think you're never going to find the
person that you you're meant to be with. And I remember, like,
I want one episode I did, uh my solo episode
was girl talking. Amy was like, you know, I think
you have to stop trying. I think you have to
stop wanting it so much. And it's so true. I
I kind of just said, you know, it'll It'll happen
(17:20):
when it happens. And then it happens in a way
that I really never thought I was going to date
someone that slid into my d ms on Instagram, and
and that's exactly how it happened. So Amy, thank you
for the advice. What I couldn't hear you what I said, Amy,
thank you for the advice. Oh yes, I can give
great advice. Those who cannot do teach anything I do.
(17:44):
But I can give people the best advice, the best advice.
I'm like, Chill, you got this, everything's fine, just let
it come to you, the universal take care of in
the moment. That's not what you want to hear that
in the moment you want to hear like chill, And
I'm not chill, And I've cried the last twelve day.
Is it's like I cannot take my own advice, but
I'm working on Anyways, Analyst, thank you so much for
(18:06):
joining us. We're happy that you're happy. And let me say,
stunning couple. Yeah, he's very good looking. Did we did?
We did get to see them together in their natural habitat. Um.
It's great to see. And I'm not I'm saying this lovingly.
I hope we never see you on another Bachelor's show again,
because I hope this is a relationship to end all
(18:27):
relations But thank you for joining us, and we'll see
you on The Bachelor in Paradise for Union show in
a couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah, okay cool. So for
the listeners out there, we have two more guests from
I Heart Radio's hit new podcast How Men Think. Um,
we have to the co host Dmitri and Rick, and
they are going to tell us, well, I guess we're
just gonna dive into a little bit with them, but
(18:48):
before we do that, we're going to take one quick
break and then jump right into it with them. Okay,
So we are back with two of the co hosts.
Of the four hosts, there's five to a full car
of how men think? Here with us, we have some
Facebook questions. Both of these gentlemen are married, and so
(19:08):
it'll be nice to have a male's married perspective on
these questions. And your Greek so I feel like we
have the same mentality, same kind of way of thinking
when it comes to family and life and relationships. Rick,
and you're white and I'm white. So I think that
we're going to see so we're gonna get a lot
(19:29):
of Okay, guys, before we start, you want to tell
us about your podcast real quick, just so we have
like a good idea of who we're talking to. Listen.
I mean, one of the biggest questions out there is
from women especially is what men are thinking. They always
you know, you get together and you think, listen, this
is what this guy did, this is what he said,
and this is how we reacted to something. How what
(19:49):
what was he thinking? And it's like, stop asking your
girlfriends and just ask a guy. So that's what we are.
We're five guys on the How Men Think Podcasts that
are willing to tell you exactly how guys are thinking.
We don't always agree because guys think different things, but
we're willing to tell you what you want to know. Well,
and I think the other thing about our show is
we're got, we're men at different ages stages of our life.
So like, I have two kids, Dmitria has four kids.
(20:11):
Brooks has zero kids. He's just recently got married. Yeah
next did two years ago? Listed by Brooks like and
Gavin DeGraw for people listening that may not Gavin is hilarious,
Gavin's he's hysterical, he's fantastic, but he's you know, he's
a rock star and he's single, so certainly he brings
that perspective, which is that's kind of a perspective that's
hard to relate to. I feel like not for you.
I would think you seem to have that single rock
(20:34):
star type of personality. Yeah, single, I don't know. That's
the question. And so let's jump into some Facebook. Let
me diverse. This question is from Becca, and I want
both of you guys to answer this as best you
can do. Men still think about their first love, even
when I'm in a happy relationship and a committed relationship,
not and I want them back way just in a
random nostalgic way. So question is either of you, two
(20:57):
married men one or two kids on the four kids,
ever think about the first woman that you ever loved?
I would say yes. I mean, I think it's not
like you're like the question saying is you're not actually
using that to take over your existing love that you're
in a relationship that you're in. But it's it's you're
and you're not comparing by any means, but you're you're
touching onto those feelings, you know, and so what was
(21:17):
that experience like and so? And you may be comparing
it to what you're doing now or how that is.
But I think you're as you go through life and
the older you get, you sort of reflect back on
certain stages of your life. You know, what was like
in high school? What was it like in college? Was
it like right after college? And there may be three
or four different people that you fell in love with
or two or whatever. And I think that I think
it's okay to do that. Yeah, for sure, I think
(21:39):
you want to you want to remember, especially that first one.
I don't think you should sit there and and peruse
in your mind all your relationships or think back at them.
But I think, as they pointed out, they mean, you
know not you know, I want them back to a
sort of way. I think you want to remember that
special time and that special person that. I mean the
person that and they don't even say sexually, they just
say the first love. So it's like the person that
(22:00):
kicked off you having these grown up feelings. I think
that's something you definitely have to remember one just because
it's a nice time in your life, but too because you,
like Rick said, you want to grow from that. Let
me ask you this, So obviously you two are in love,
you're married. Does the love that with our wives? Well,
I think and I actually love each other as well.
You guys are in respectively to your own wives. That's
obviously what I what I meant to say there, does
(22:22):
the love that you have it? Because I was a
quite love to like a feeling, right, So I was
in love when I was thirteen, But I can be
in love when I'm twenty eight and it's different love,
but it feels the same way, like in my chest,
you know. Do you would you say that it's a
similar feeling that you have that you get from it. Yeah,
I'd say it's similar, but it it certainly is more
advanced and as you grow mentally, it's like the love
(22:44):
is different, like you you you probably you cherish it
more and you're more aware of what it does for you,
what that companionship does for you. When you're young, you're like,
oh yeah, I love this person and you feel happy
to be around them and they make you feel happy emotionally.
But as you get older, you're like, do you bringing
you You made some good points there from my kids
(23:05):
drop and stuff, and the other thing I was going
to add to that, Dmitri was like, there's a lot
more on the table right now. Right, So you're it's
you can't be thirteen or twenty eight and be Google
Gaga in love with somebody. Uh. You know that you
have kids that you're you're e spreading that love too
as well, you know, and there's friends or and and
your wife. So I would say, Dean, the love is
actually different. I mean, it's still a love, but it's
(23:27):
it's a different feeling and you can't always bring that
back up. Um, and you bring that back up in
certain scenarios. So like you're firstborn, you go back, you
go out on dates, or you go on like a
little you know, uh, take a vacation together. Like those
are things that I look back on and those are
the things that kind of bring back back some of
that loving feeling. Was that a song was that Gavin song?
(23:48):
Wasn't We'll give it to him? And I think you're
exactly right. And as you get older, life is life
is tougher. Man Like when you're young and you're like,
I'm in love, Yeah, we love whatever, going to a concert,
going to the beach. But now it's like, you have
bills and you have responsibilities and you need someone that
can that can be your partner throughout that. And that's
(24:08):
that's really the difference, because you have more of an
appreciation for the love and support to say that they
gifts evolved a little bit. So you're you're both married,
you're both in love, you're both happy. For our listeners
who are experiencing heartbreak or who have never found love,
can you say that you could fall in love more
than once in your lifetime? Sure? Of course. I fell
in love with a girl in the airport the other day.
(24:30):
I just didn't get a opportunity to hang out with her.
No no, no, sorry, what are we taping, Mike? Just
because I didn't get an opportunity to go on on
five days, So there doesn't mean I didn't love it. Actually,
that's actually a funny seguay into our next question from
Katie Lee. She wants to know where can you find
quality guys? Is it dating apps? Is it airports? Is
(24:53):
it the gym? I mean, listen, I found I found
my boyfriend on Instagram, preferably guys that aren't married, you know, honestly,
I think the best case scenario, and this is my
wife and I met. We met through a mutual friend. Um.
I think if you have somebody in common, you cut
out a lot of steps, so you already kind of
(25:13):
vouched for for the person, for both people, and so
we met. She was working with somebody that started as
a sounds convoluted, but she was working with this girl
that I went to college with who started dating a
friend of mine. And then she she was throwing her
birthday party and she said, Hey, invite this guy that
I'm dating and some of his friends. And I think
you might like one of his friends. And she's like,
oh whatever, I'll set this party up. And that's that's
(25:34):
how we met. Okay, So you're saying meet the best
way to meet someone is through mutual friends. I think
that's the best case scenario. Okay, I think it's the
best case scenario. And I think Dmitri and I are
our experiences is a little bit dated, to be honest
with you, you know, and I think nowadays, if you're three,
I think whether it's through Instagram or through the Tinder app,
or through you know, some of those other those apps
(25:56):
that that people use, I think that's an okay way
to meet somebody. Um and it definitely um. It kind
of cuts to the chase in different aspects than having
a common friend. And if that doesn't work, try the
deli counter at the grocery store. That's always a good one,
that is, because you have a similar you know, have
a common thread and salted meats and see what the
(26:18):
pet also pets. Even that's the next question alright from Rainy.
Why does a guy text you first invite you to
hang out, then leave you on open for hours or
days and looking at someone specifically when they plan time.
When the plan time comes around to actually hang out,
then they text you later and ask when are we
(26:38):
hanging out? Going to hurt? He's not. He's not. He's
looking for better options. He's he's when he texts you
that first time, he's at a moment where he's like, oh,
I kind of want to hook up, or I'm thinking
about this person. He throws he cast the line out
you bite right away, and he's like, all right, well
she's on the line. Let me see what else I
can do. Let me see if there's other people out there.
(26:59):
And then he that part bypasses and I'm not saying
this is the right thing to do, but this is
what's happening in that situation. That time bypasses, and then
he's like, oh, he's like, but I gotta I don't
want it to be mad at me. Let me throw
it out there. Hey, when are we hanging out? I
totally agree with dmitri or and it may not be
that they're hanging out with another person. I think they're
just leaking for other things to do. Yeah, you know
in the meantime, Oh yeah, I was gonna go to
the ball game with my friends, or I was gonna
(27:20):
go on a bike ride, or of one of those
things too where you like, you text someone to hang
out when you're board, and then you're not bored anymore
and you don't really want to hang out with them,
you know, like it's the time to hang out with them.
Comes around, you're like, actually, I'm not bored a right.
Bottom line is you're not a priority to him, where
he's like, I absolutely want to hang out with you,
and I'm gonna jump at the chance to hang out
with you. That's so they're also saying tell the girl
not to be too easy because the guys want they
(27:41):
want to chase. They do want to chase, but in
this situation, if that happens, I think you move on
to a different guy. I don't think that's I think
so too. Yeah, all right. Next question is from Megan.
She wants to know, if a girl were to offer
it up on the first date, what a guy always
bite on the chance? Says sleep with her? No, not always.
(28:01):
I think we talked about this recently on on how
men think. I think, yeah, there's and I think Rick's
gonna disagree with me because he did that day as well.
But I think I think, yes, the guy obviously will
want sex, but when it comes down to if he
sees himself with a has a future with this person,
he may be hesitant. He may not want to rush
into it because he he doesn't want to Number one
(28:25):
as you said, we said in just a few minutes ago,
there's something about the chase of something about exploring that
time and taking baby steps in a relationship. I'm gonna
I'm just gonna interrupt you real quick. I'm sorry, because
I'm trying to think of my personal experience this here.
And I've gotten into dates before where I'm like, no
matter what happens, I'm not giving it up. Not nothing's
gonna change my mind. And I get into the to
the to the zone dates going well, it gets offered
(28:47):
up and nine times out of nine I'm not. I'm
biting and I'm taking it. And how many of those
girls have you married? Okay, it's a good point, but
still he's only twenty eight. But that's the point. So yeah,
of course you're doing that. But when you and and
don't get me wrong, I know people that that went
on a date, first date, had sex and they're happily
(29:09):
married with kids. It's possible, but in some guy's minds,
you don't. When you think about settling down and you
think about somebody being the mother to your kids, you
don't want to think, oh, she was just she was
just giving it up. If you have that special connection. Great,
but I don't I don't know if opportunitarly disagree with
you again, Dmitri. Every show that Dmitri and I are
both on, I disagree with everything he says. Yeah, yeah,
(29:30):
I disagree to I mean, I'm I'm coming from the perspective.
So basically, if you want to have sex go out
with Amy? Is that what I'm hearing about. I'm coming
from the perspective out of the date is going well,
and you're getting along with this girl, and then you
get to a certain point of the of the date
then and everyone's kind of ready to play, then let's go.
I agree with that point. I feel like the older
you get, you don't have to make excuses for the
(29:52):
decisions that you make and that at that time. So
if I wanted with I'm not going to explain when
or how my ay friend and night the first time
we had sex. But I mean, we're not going to
get into that. Um. But if he would have stopped
talking to me, for me, that's not someone I want
to do with because I want to be with someone
who respects my decisions. And if I'm making those decisions
(30:12):
based off of what Vanessa wants to do, then that's
the person I want to be with, not because they're
going to be judging me. If you know, I'm sure,
if you know, I'm sure guys have slept around the
first And it comes down to, like, um, what's it called?
Like what guys are allowed to do versus what girls
are allowed to do? Know? Would you be fine? So?
Would you be fine if if you knew that your
(30:32):
boyfriend had sex on every first date he went on,
would that be You're okay? You wouldn't think anything as
long as he's using protection. Let me say this, if
if a guy and a girl go on a date
and they sleep together and that's enough of a reason
for the guy to stop talking to the girl, then
that guy is not a girl that that that's not
a guy that the girl wants. Did anyways? Well that's true,
but I don't mean stop talking. I just think it
(30:53):
in a in in that scenario of would you have
sex every time it was offered up? I wouldn't. And
when I was in college, there were times that I
could have had sex and I didn't because I didn't want.
I didn't I knew I didn't feel that way about
that girl, and I didn't want her thinking that I
did so. But granted, keep in mind I've been married
for fourteen years, so times changed nowadays. At ricks in
(31:14):
my age, if you can have sex, you have it
with anybody again, rick or anywhere? Who plugged his mike
beg okay, Next questions from Ashley. Would you get engaged
if you didn't have the money for a nice ring?
Slash the ring your fiance wanted? So I'd say my
boyfriend and I were getting married, and for me personally,
(31:35):
I don't care. Um I was actually at a I was.
I was at Burkes yesterday and um, I was shopping
around and the woman was like, oh, come, look at
the engagement at the engagement rings, and I'm like, how
much is this? Like sixty? I'm like, ring, you could
find the same ring somewhere else, right, I'm like, I
for me, it's just it's crazy that the guy has
(31:56):
to spend that much money. I mean, of course it's pretty,
but um, I think, why not spend the money that
you know, spend all spend the money on what you
could afford, and then save it on a house or
save it for your children's education. Well that's exactly what
I did. So I knew that I wanted to propose
to my now wife, and at the time I said,
I don't. We don't have endless amounts of money. But
(32:19):
I knew I wanted to propose, and I know we
were ready to get married. So UM, I bought a
ring that I could afford, and I proposed. And then
somewhere down the line, when we were doing better in
our lives and we had more money, UM for an engagement.
I surprised her and I took her and we took
the stone from that original ring, and she picked out
a new band and we put that stone in so
it still has the original stone, but she had a
(32:39):
much nicer ring. Yeah. Why, I mean, because you don't
have enough money, you're gonna put off getting married. I
didn't see that as yeah, I don't. I agree with you, Dumiti.
And I also think that's something you can build upon.
So like you have a you have a diamond, or
you have a stone that you like, and then you
can make a bigger, better one as soon as you know,
as you move on three months salary things? Is that
still a thing is supposed to be three months? Really,
(33:00):
that's what I heard. That's very old timey, you'd have
to like get people to tell us if that's still
a thing, because that is just super from well how
much does it ring go for? Because I when I
heard sixty thou dollars, I think that was pretty based
in Yeah, you come up, dollar ring is pretty common,
but you could get a great ring for five thousand dollars.
(33:24):
The trick is like with with property. Find someone that's
going through a bad divorce and they're willing to sell
it for cheap. I mean, if you don't care about carl,
like you know, bad mojo or whatever, just do that
stop like a good will or something, maybe a thrift. Still,
don't you think it's the design and not necessarily the
size of the Oh yeah, I saw I saw this woman.
Now that I'm like, I'm always looking at women's hands
(33:45):
to see what their rings look like, so I'm trying
to get an idea, and I saw this woman that
the diamond wasn't big, but it was. It was so original.
It was like a tear drop or a pear, a
pair shape with like little bit gets on the side. Um,
but the diamonds were very very small, but it was
so original and beautiful. Yeah, finally, just a diamond band,
like it just depends who you are. But that should
not be a reason to not get engaged like that,
(34:07):
Is that bleep crazy? Because listen, my engagement ring was big,
Neil Lane, thank you. It was too big. It was
a big you can't mouth answers on a podcast because
we can't see yourself. Didn't love that ring? I mean
it was it was too big for me, Dean. You
kind of when she was describing the ring, you kind
of shuddered for a second when you heard bad guts?
(34:28):
Were you thinking, Carbs, Oh, that's not I don't want
to I want bad guts on my ring for sure. Okay.
Lisa wants to know if guys get insecure? She says,
do they ever feel like a girl might be too
good for them? So that's why they won't approach a
girl or swipe right on the app? What do you
guys think? I think so too. Yeah. I think I
think that there is definitely get insecure, weird piority complex
(34:49):
I think sometimes. I mean, we're sitting here with you,
Johnny Handsome, I mean, how do you not feel does
not like it? If a woman is more successful than
the I personally love it. So what's funny. Actually is
this girl that I did a little bit last year
for sometime. It is a very very successful commercial real
estate agent. And she says, and she's a beautiful girl,
(35:10):
and she says she goes on dates frequently, right, and
she would meet all these guys and she like makes
like five times as much money as they do, and
all of them would like shy away from her for it.
But I was like, that's like literally one of the
sexiest things you could possibly tell me, Like, that's so
sick that you're like a determined, successful, like driven person. Obviously,
I heard a lot of guys are getting insecured by
her telling them that my wife is the CEO of
a company of a big company. To me, that's hot.
(35:33):
I think that's hot. And I'm like, I don't I
don't want her being like, oh, how was word like?
She she is brilliant, she went to business school, And
I think that's a turn on. And and I have
zero insecurities about that, because if they're putting that much
effort into their work, they're gonna they know what it
takes to have something successful, So that can translate into
a marriage as well. And she knows how difficult it
is to be a co host of a podcast, then
(35:53):
it is very challenging at that time, Rick, what do
you think. I think it's I I don't get in
scure about that. No, I think it's actually a huge
accomplishment if if the woman or the significant other actually
is very successful. I think it's I think it's a
turn on. I think it's um. I think I mean,
why would you want to have or fuel and secure
about somebody that's working their own tail off? And yeah,
(36:17):
I think it's great and in general, I mean when
we did our podcast from Tahoe, Rick did it in
a speedo, so he doesn't get insecure about that comes
with a lot of I don't know exactly what it is,
but well no I do because I saw him. Yeah,
I'm just saying it's impressive because a lot of practice.
I don't know. All right, So we have one final
segment and Rick, obviously, with your blessing, we want to
(36:37):
get Peter on. Okay, So Peter's your son, Yes, extremely handsome,
thank you eighth grade. So Peter and I and well
I guess all of us met Peter on the elevator
and I swear I was like this kid's like eight teen.
He must be a senior in high school or something
like that. He shakes my hand, he literally pulls my
hand in half because he's got the strongest script. I've
ever seen. Blown away by this kid. When I was
(36:58):
thirteen years old, I was like the biggest loser in
the world, and this kid has something that just no
other kid has. So we're going to talk to him
a little bit and see what dating as a thirteen
year old in eighth grade is like nowadays. I actually
thought he was a child actor when when in the elevator,
I was like, Oh, what movie are you looking? If
you people who do know about the Bachelard franchise, he
looks like a mini Robert Graham. Yes, that's what you said.
(37:21):
I could, I know, I could definitely say it's to
know as it's the lips. Peter. Do you want thanks
for saying that? So? Peter was pulled from class early today.
He was taking a history test, but we pulled him
out to bring him to this podcast. Peter, what is
it like for you to be dating as an eighth grader?
It's very awkward. Do you have a girlfriend? Yeah? You do? Rick?
Did you know about that? How many girlfriends. I didn't
(37:43):
know about this one one. I like that answer. Um,
why is it weird to date as an eighth grader? Because,
like you're, everybody's going through puberty. You can be at
different stages. So how did you and your girlfriend meet school?
And how long have you been dating for? You have
to talk into the two years long relationship for a year?
(38:05):
And have you guys kissed each other yet? Know? Okay, okay,
playing slow. I respect that a lot. Rick. How old
were you when you had your first Guess? I was
in first grade. Yeah that's a lie. Swear to god.
It was weird now looking back on it, it was.
I was in first grade. Nicki Webb, early bloomer, remember
her name too. Does Peter ever come to you for advice? Um?
(38:26):
Not now, not not anymore? You know. Yeah. I think
in the future we'll we'll talk. We'll have to sit down.
But um, yeah, I mean most of the advice that
he's going through. Uh he talked to his mother about,
you know, in terms of their girlfriends and stuff. What
is it? What is it like with the relationship. You
guys text each other, you talk on the phone. Is
it we only set each other at school? We text
each other and school, okay, and that school. Yeah, so
(38:48):
there's not a lot of FaceTime going on or hanging
out on a person. Well, one time we FaceTime and
we um fell asleep on the FaceTime that my mom
got super mad at me. That's really romantic, it is.
I think that's cool FaceTime. But I say that over
the phone all the time. Why was she upset? Because
I woke up at twelve and they were Also they
didn't have a like, they didn't have a minute. That
(39:10):
a minute was all. That's right, that's right. So what
is it about this girl that you like a lot? Personality? Yeah,
you guys have a lot in common. Yeah, like what
exactly sport? You guys like sports? Very allergic to bees.
Oh that's okay, simpler times you were saying it, man's simpler.
You know, the older you get, the more it takes.
But yeah, when you're an eighth grade all takes. You
(39:32):
want to avoid these me too. Let's go hang out together,
not near honey? Are you? Do you see it lasting
until you guys go to high school and through high
school and all that kind of stuff. Maybe you think
she's the one. I don't know, he's were only thirty.
You don't ask somebody at that age about the one
we should be asking you. I'm just trying to get
to know him and his girlfriend a little bit better. Okay,
(39:55):
but so you don't know yet. That's that's at the
end of the day. What are you gonna KISR? Do
you have any plans to kiss her? I feel like
it has to come in the moment. So how does
someone at your thirteen How does a thirteen year old
decide this is my girlfriend? Like? What makes it your girlfriend?
We just talk about it, like, I think it's through
time I get to know the person. So you guys
(40:16):
were talking about it for a while then eventually were like,
let's just be a boyfriend girlfriends And so if she
was like talking to another boy, you'd get probably prett jealous.
Then yeah, not really. I like the confidence. That's healthy.
That's good. I don't know where he gets it from.
But um, all right, well, hey Peter, thanks for sharing
about the relationship. Um, we wish you nothing but the best. Obviously.
I guess it's a little too early, apparently to be
(40:37):
asking her if she's I think for sure, because do
you know what it takes? Do you know when you
know the one. Yes, you do. But that's my point.
He's thirteen, like he shouldn't even be thinking that day
to reveal? Are they insta official term? Are you insta official? Pure?
Did you post our picture on your Instagram? What are
(41:02):
you waiting for? Well? I don't know is that a
true thing? Like do? If you are you actually officially
dating when somebody posts the picture of the other person
that you're then you would get bullied. Then you get bullied.
Why would you get bullied? I don't know, because you're
being too romantic and what and it's eighth grade and
it's eighth grade. Maybe wait till high school for that. Yeah, listen, Peter,
(41:23):
when you want to know more about girls, I know
you want to ask your dad just listen to the
How Men Think podcast? And he doesn't allow me to.
But at the win because you're not ready when when
it's time, I would rather you have, you know, balancing
you know, thoughts as supposed to just hearing because I
know you what your dad thinks about stuff. It's okay,
listen to the group, okay, or maybe listen to help
us like your dating too in conjunction with you can
(41:45):
get it. You can get a good dichotomy there. All right, Well,
we gotta wrap it up because we are going to
go watch this baseball game. Thank you guys for joining
us on this episode. Ready for your big moment. Yes,
I'm actually seeing the national anthem tonight, but for some
weird reason, they're let me do that. I don't know why,
are you really no? I'm just bringing the ball out
to the You're I don't know, just bringing the bus.
Pretty that's a big deal. Are you throwing the picture?
You're bringing the ball out? I think I'm bringing the
ball out. I did throw the first pitch out of
(42:07):
the Angels game, actually a couple of months ago, which
is pretty cool. Did you throw right down the middle?
Had thurn baseball in like a decade, and I was
I didn't practice it all. I threw it right down there.
That's perfect, which is better than most of the Angels
pitchers are doing right now. Yap um, big thank you
to Hotel Via for hosting us. Hotel Via is a
new boutique hotel in San franz most dynamic neighborhood. The
Rooftop at Via Hotel is VIA's three thousand square foot
(42:28):
rooftop lounge that delivers some of the most stunning and
dramatic scenery in San Francisco. Located across the street from
the iconic Oracle Park, the most beautiful ballpark in America,
and a half mile from the state of the art
Chase Center, Hotel Via is at the epicenter of the best.
It is a beautiful hotel. And I actually had the
food I had. I dined already, so the food is amazing.
Their croissans are great, their salads are amazing. So big
(42:52):
thank you to Dmitri and Rick. Meet you and Rick.
Make sure to check out their podcast, um and think
it's on. I Heart Radio and you guys are killing
it right. I remember your first episode had like was
like the number one rated episode of all or something
like like ever, y're hilarious. I mean, thanks for having
us on, so you know that, what's the number? Let's
listen to podcasts in history. I always kind of reflect
(43:14):
on a little bit. I'm kind of like I feel
like I'm out of stage of my life for like
I don't really give it. You know, it's like you
willing to share stories how I feel, and I think
that's kind of the whole point of the show. You
know how men. Thanks having fun doing that. Yeah, it's great,
it's fantastic. Thanks for having Thanks for having us on.
Thanks guys big, thank you to Analyze Puccini as well
for joining us. Um and we will talk to you
(43:35):
next week. We'll give you some Paradise updates. Hopefully we'll
all be together next week. I think we might be.
Will you probably be from from my bedroom anyways, be
sure to the next week, where maybe we will suck
a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating
with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or
wherever you listen to podcast
I Suck Good Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and
I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, Welcome to this week's
episode of Help I Suck At Dating. A very special
episode because we are recording live from Oracle Park, I
can't take you seriously in San Francisco. We're on a
little bit of a time constraint today, so Vanessa and
(00:21):
I are gonna be bulldozing through this episode. We've got
a fun one, We've got analyze here in the stadium
with us. We also have the men from How Men
Think About Dmitri and Rick are going to come on.
And Rick actually has a thirteen year old son who's
the eighth grade who I want to get. I want
to ask he's a good looking young man. I want
to ask him what it's like to date as an
(00:42):
eighth grader. Because obviously we're all, as co host, pretty
removed from eighth grade. I just think it'd be fun
to see maybe how it's changed. We can compare and
contrast how it was for us. I think it's a
good idea all those decades ago. Um, but first, thanks, first, Vanessa,
how are you? I'm good? So we literally just landed,
came straight to the stadium, So at Oracle Park right now.
It's my second time in San Francisco. Um, I've been
(01:05):
to a few baseball games before. When X when when
Montreal had the Expos. We're trying to get them back
real hard. Washington. Yeah, um so now the capitals now
that the capital, So we're trying to I mean, Expos
don't exist anymore, so we're really trying hard to get
them back to Montreal. So I brought my baseball cap.
Hopefully I won't get any popcorn thrown at me today,
but very excited to be here. I haven't seen you
(01:25):
in a while. A minute, Yeah, it's been since Tahoe.
Well you um did a loan solo episode two weeks ago. Yea,
and you were at a wedding this past weekend. I
was at two weddings this past weekend, and that kind
of when's the last time you went to a wedding? Well,
I mean we know that answer. Um. Yeah, I feel
like after I went to those weddings, I love. Maybe
(01:49):
it's because we were on the show and we have
that we're constantly in the spotlight. I just felt like,
I think the day I get married, I just want
to have a barbecue. I'm gonna invite people to a
barbecue in my backyard. Whoever shows up shows up, and
they have they'll have no idea. That's my actual wedding day,
and then that'll be it. Like no one has to
spend money on their hair, no one has to spend
money on buying a dress. I've had a similar thought
(02:10):
to that, actually, but it would be a beach thing.
So I mean, yeah, I think it's it's good. But
what about the weddings gave you that idea. I don't know.
I think it was just, uh, it's a lot, you know,
it's a lot of planning and preparation, and that even
for the guests going watch me have the most elaborate wedding.
After I say this, well, you are kind of like,
uh uh oh God, here here comes an insult. Insult you?
(02:35):
How do I say this? You like nice things? Oh? Really? Well?
Like you? I don't know. I know it looks like
I like nice things, but I like to like you
like nice clothes, and you like to do your hair.
And where jewelry do you? Not? Not? Really? The only
jewelier I'm wearing right now is my ring that my
grandmother gave me looking through your Instagram. I I see
you as like a like a high class and I
(02:57):
like dressing up. Absolutely know, I didn't want to, Oh
you do not know me, but like someone that likes
to like celebrate grand grandly, you know what I mean.
I mean, listen, if we're comparing you to me, yes,
but no, I don't live in a van. I live
in a very nice part of the Especially with you
(03:19):
being like as um and like aware of your own
emotions as you are, I feel like it's gonna be
hard for you not to want to have a big
wedding because I don't know. I mean, listen, I come
from an Italian background, and we the weddings that we do,
the baptism, the confirmations, like everything is always so big
and we sell it. We love to celebrate um And
for me, it's like I want to celebrate with the
(03:40):
people that I see on a daily basis, and that's
the people that I basically see every Sunday, which is
my family and my closest friends. So I don't know,
this is just something that went through my head because
it was a lot. That day was two weddings, and
then the next day, yes, and it was an hour away.
There were an hour away from each other. How did
that end up working out? So one of the morning
wedding and one was an afternoon one was they were
(04:02):
both an afternoon wedding. But my boyfriend came with me
to the first one, which was my close friend, and
then I went to his friend's reception, so I got
to meet all the rest of his friends. Um, which
was crazy because I think I was talking about it
with Annelie, who's here high girl, which okay, So she's like,
I didn't know that you were got You and Josh
were dating for a couple of months. I think people
(04:23):
think that I've we've been dating for longer than how
long is Christmas? December? Jenni Faberite March, April, May, June July. Wow,
you're good nine months? Um, no idea why I just
said that. Oh yeah, So I met the rest of
his friends at the wedding, right, So for me, I
think it's so let me ask you this, being with
your boyfriend, surrounded by love and weddings, all these things
(04:47):
that make you peel all these things, How does that
does it put things into perspective for you at all? Like?
Does it make you want to maybe expedite the process
a little bit or get you more excited for marriage
potentially with Josh, I mean, listen, you know me, I've
always wanted to get married, I've always wanted to have kids,
and I think for the longest time, every time I
(05:07):
started dating someone, I thought, oh, this is the person
for me, because in my romantic head, I thought, if
I'm dating him, for sure, he's going to be the
person and end up with. But with Josh, it's such
a different feeling. It's a sense of like I feel
at home with him, um and yeah. When we're at
the wedding together, I'm like, I can't wait for the
day where I'm walking down the aisle and I just
want to see his face when the first time he
(05:29):
sees me, and those thoughts that go through my mind.
And then a couple of days later, he looked at
me when we woke up and he's like, I'm gonna
marry you, and I'm like, my god, I'm gonna cry.
Can I ask a favorite of you when you get married?
Will you invite me to your wedding and not invite Jared.
(05:50):
That's the favor that I'm asking of you right now,
Like I said it's gonna be a small wedding, so
maybe no one's getting an invite. So it's just being
Josh and I. There you go. If you're listening to this,
I'm going to va it is not. The challenging thing
for me is when I get married, who am I
going to invite? Me? Does? Because I have to continue
(06:10):
the trend of one person can come one So I
guess it's going to go back to me not coming.
I mean as whatever. I always feel like the left,
the one man that's out of the equation. I'm gonna
have a wedding and you're gonna be the only person
in attendance. I love it. Can I what's it called officiate?
You can officiate? Yeah, that'd be great. Um, okay, cool.
So you had the weddings, You are incredibly happy in
your relationship, very happy. But now enough about me, Jane.
(06:34):
So we just watched the last episode of this well
this week's episode on Tuesday. Well, so, just for the
listener's sake, we're recording this episode the Thursday before the
week after I dumped Kalin. So we have not seen
this week's episode of Bachelor in Paradise, but it has
been teased that I returned back to Paradise this week,
but again we have not seen the episode, so we
(06:55):
don't know exactly what happens um and I can't really
talk much about it. Let me just tell you this.
I guess between the time of me leaving and the
time of me being teased coming back, I think I
can tell you what I did. I landed in San Diego.
I drove all the way to the Grand Canyon. I
sat there for a couple of hours, thought about things,
(07:15):
Listen to music, listen to some lectures, read a book,
drove down to Phoenix. Called one of the producers and said, hey,
I want to come back to the beach. What do
you think this is? After how many days after you
left Paradise. This was basically the same day I think
I landed in San Diego and I called them and
I was like, hey, guys, I'm sad you left and
(07:37):
you had immediate regrets. So this is in between time
between obviously, Like I think that's kind of appropriate, right
because I left on the show and I come back
next week, and so yeah, this isn't between time. And
so yeah, so I landed and I was really upset,
and so I called them, We figured it out. I
don't think I can get too much into the nitty
gritty about that right now, but UM, drove to the
Grand Canyon, thought about things, called them. They decided today
would let me come back. And so that's what you're
(07:58):
gonna see next week is me coming back, which will
be fun for us to watch. I think I don't
really know how it's going to go, but my hopes
are high and it should be at least entertaining if
nothing else. Um, But obviously next week, after that all happens,
we can talk about it a little bit more depth. Yes,
because I have so many questions. I actually wrote a draft.
(08:20):
I wrote a list of questions because it's it's so
upsetting to see. And I'm such a fan of Dean
and you know this, So it's so upsetting to see
the self doubt that you have about yourself and how
you think someone else observes more happiness. And I like
how Calin puts you in your spot every now and then,
and she's like, why are you making that decision for me?
(08:40):
So I do want to get into this, but I
guess we'll talk about it next week when you do
reappear hopefully she'll take you back. I do want to.
I'll touch on that really quick, Kenn, we can move
on to the next segment. Um. I think that the
self doubt is more of not that I don't think
I have enough to offer people, but just that I'm
not willing to offer the things that they want to receive.
You know what I mean? Is that just because I
(09:02):
just said I'm in a mode in my life right
now where i want to focus on myself and be selfish, etcetera, etcetera.
But I would love touch more on that next week
when we talk about that, when we're able to talk
about that more depth. Um. So, next up, we are
going to speak with fellow Bachelor contestant and she's going
to update us on her life because she's been dating
and it's getting pretty serious. Can we talk about it?
(09:24):
But we can't wait? Wait, yes, we can talk about it,
but before we talk about it, sorry, the producer is
looking at me with a stink face, like we can't
talk about it a h percent. We can talk about
and we're going to talk about it. Before we do that, though,
We're gonna take one quick break and then really dive
into it with Amlice Okay, we're back. So Anale, Hi,
(09:46):
how are you. I'm doing well and you look great.
You just cut your hair. I love it. I love
the new look. I did a little jop. I thought
like I needed a new do looking hot. It took
us put let's go ahead and edit that part. No,
(10:06):
please keep that alright, as Pillison, last time we talked
to you, we were in Tahoe. That was like four
or five weeks ago something like that. Isn't that short that? Okay,
maybe five six weeks ago. Anyways, phil us in what's
going on in your life? Life has been good? Uh?
(10:26):
Are we really talking about my dating is a dating podcast? Yes,
I have been dating somebody tell us about it. Dean
loves getting and he's really good at getting information out
of people. So just warning you. Whatever you feel like sharing,
I'm gonna share like the bare minimum because I'm not
ready to dive in completely with details. But but yeah,
(10:49):
I met somebody and he's great, and I feel like, uh,
it's the first time, maybe ever, that I'm like, Wow,
I'm worthy of this kind of relationship and I feels yeah,
I don't know if I don't know, if maybe I
thought in the past that like I deserved somebody this
great and he's really amazing. How did you meet? Uh?
(11:09):
We met at a time. It's a very much like
when you least expected situation. I was. It was right
after doing Paradise and I was done with men for
a bit. I was like, I'm going to just take
a break from dating. I'm not going to date until
maybe the show is done airing, and then you know,
slowly get back into things. I had a couple of
people that wanted to set me up with, you know,
(11:30):
friends of the family or whatever, and I'm like, okay, sure,
but not for a while because I'm just not ready
and I'm taking a break. And then I went out
to bring up be a wing woman basically for a
friend of mine, and she started talking to these guys
and when we became friends with them and then just
have hung out pretty much every day since. Didn't work
out for your friends, No, I mean that was like
(11:51):
she she unfortunately didn't. Well, she actually did meet somebody,
but not that weekend. So yeah, things are good and okay, great,
So that was how long like six weeks ago? Ish,
we're cusping on too many months. Yeah, that's great. It's
always the most interesting time too, because like you're trying
to get to know someone, you're trying to figure out
what they like, what they dis like. Also very weird
because the show started airing like, oh two weeks maybe
(12:15):
after we So, how did you approach that with him?
Because I'm sure he knew that you were from the
Bachelor franchise. He didn't because he's not he's so far
removed from social media and all that sort of stuff,
So that's a great sign. Yeah, So I I just
said it, like on second time we hung out one
on one, or maybe the first time we hung out
one on one, I was like, I gotta be honest
with you, did you know what it was? Did you
(12:36):
know what? Trying to remember if he did, because my
boyfriend still has so many questions. He has no idea
what Paradise is. He's like, oh, she's on it? Why
was she on it? Did she not? Fine? Love? And
I'm like, yeah, it's yeah, I mean that's something how
the conversation was as well. But yeah, I think he
was sort of aware of the show but doesn't know
anything about it. So and then, how was it watching
(12:57):
the show when you were on it with him? Oh?
I didn't did you like, did you like this allow him?
Like you just said you're not watching it or you know.
I actually I have a really really hard time watching
myself back on it. So I wasn't going to watch it.
And then when I found out that I was going
to the reunion, I just binge watched every episode. How
did you feel about your parts on the show? Um so,
(13:19):
I actually had. I had seen my parts, just because
I have friends on the East Coast who would send
me clips because I was I'd have panic attacks like
minor ones before, you know, knowing like okay, tonight's the
night that this part airs, so they would send me
my little clips, and um so I got to see
that in real time. Basically we talk about paradise for
a second. I know it's hard to put yourself back
(13:40):
into that situation, especially now that you're you know, in
a good relationship. What happened with the whole Chris Poukowski thing.
Uh So that that was frustrating to watch back, and
I don't like it's always hard because I don't know
exactly what I can say, and just um he he
was really pursuing me that first week, and they didn't
really show our relationship at all. And I think it's
(14:03):
frustrating watching it back and seeing it be shown as
so one sided because it really wasn't and he really,
I think, struggled with that decision that night. I Christina
sort of like came and had a conversation with him,
and I think I don't know what was going through
his head, but um, but I think he was probably thinking,
(14:24):
oh maybe and at least is more serious, and so
I don't want to be like committing myself to her
for the rest of this time. Um, but I just
wish he would have had that conversation with me, because
if he would have, you would have realized I wasn't
there yet. But do you have any resentment towards Christina
ever coming in and saying that? I mean a little bit.
I feel like whatever she said to Chris was the
same thing she said to Blake when he was I
(14:47):
feel like it was the exact same And yeah, so
I mean, but the thing is is everything happens for
a reason, and I am a firm believer on that,
and I think that, yes, I was disappointed in the
moment because I felt really jipped of the whole experience. Um.
Watching it back then and like my person definitely never
showed up on the beach, So it's you know, it
(15:08):
is what it is. I think I sort of went
back this time thinking, oh, I'm excited to make more
friends and be still open to the possibility of love
because it's sort of worked for me, uh the year before,
you know, Um, so I was hopeful, but I yeah,
I just felt jipped more than anything. Both comparing season
to season. It's hard too because you were there for
(15:30):
a short amount of time this second time around. But
also you it's it's easier to kind of remove yourself
because you got less attached to someone, right, So would
you say that like the first time was better or
the second time was better in your experience? So, and
this is another part of just editing that gets frustrating.
Is I actually, I really really loved how I handled
Paradise this year. I felt like I went in, I
(15:52):
was open, I talked to everyone, which wasn't really shown,
but I did there. I felt like there weren't a
ton of options for me, and I actually did have
a connection with Chris and so it was just an easy,
natural fit to just spend my time with him. But
but I still was happy with how I handled everything. Uh,
(16:13):
maybe some things I would have done slightly different, but
I did feel like I did Paradise the way I
wanted to do Paradise this year, even though it was
only a very short amount of time. And to your point,
like you said earlier, it's hard to look back and
regret anything because you're happy now, right So it's like
everything happened for a reason. Obviously, it's a It's a
good place to be right now because I feel like
my perspective on all of it is just so different,
and I'm really grateful that I met somebody who doesn't
care that I was on a dating show, and you
(16:35):
know that I put myself in this crazy world. You know.
I think that's a classic example of like you said,
it's so cliche, but I really do believe that everything
happens for a reason. Like before I went on the show,
I I fell in love with a guy, and I
thought I was never going to find love again, and
I thought it was the end of the world for me.
And then fast forward three years later, I'm on the
show and I get engaged and I was at a high,
(16:58):
and then the relationship ends and again you're back out
of low and you whenever you're at that point in
your life, you think you're never going to find the
person that you you're meant to be with. And I remember, like,
I want one episode I did, uh my solo episode
was girl talking. Amy was like, you know, I think
you have to stop trying. I think you have to
stop wanting it so much. And it's so true. I
I kind of just said, you know, it'll It'll happen
(17:20):
when it happens. And then it happens in a way
that I really never thought I was going to date
someone that slid into my d ms on Instagram, and
and that's exactly how it happened. So Amy, thank you
for the advice. What I couldn't hear you what I said, Amy,
thank you for the advice. Oh yes, I can give
great advice. Those who cannot do teach anything I do.
(17:44):
But I can give people the best advice, the best advice.
I'm like, Chill, you got this, everything's fine, just let
it come to you, the universal take care of in
the moment. That's not what you want to hear that
in the moment you want to hear like chill, And
I'm not chill, And I've cried the last twelve day.
Is it's like I cannot take my own advice, but
I'm working on Anyways, Analyst, thank you so much for
(18:06):
joining us. We're happy that you're happy. And let me say,
stunning couple. Yeah, he's very good looking. Did we did?
We did get to see them together in their natural habitat. Um.
It's great to see. And I'm not I'm saying this lovingly.
I hope we never see you on another Bachelor's show again,
because I hope this is a relationship to end all
(18:27):
relations But thank you for joining us, and we'll see
you on The Bachelor in Paradise for Union show in
a couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah, okay cool. So for
the listeners out there, we have two more guests from
I Heart Radio's hit new podcast How Men Think. Um,
we have to the co host Dmitri and Rick, and
they are going to tell us, well, I guess we're
just gonna dive into a little bit with them, but
(18:48):
before we do that, we're going to take one quick
break and then jump right into it with them. Okay,
So we are back with two of the co hosts.
Of the four hosts, there's five to a full car
of how men think? Here with us, we have some
Facebook questions. Both of these gentlemen are married, and so
(19:08):
it'll be nice to have a male's married perspective on
these questions. And your Greek so I feel like we
have the same mentality, same kind of way of thinking
when it comes to family and life and relationships. Rick,
and you're white and I'm white. So I think that
we're going to see so we're gonna get a lot
(19:29):
of Okay, guys, before we start, you want to tell
us about your podcast real quick, just so we have
like a good idea of who we're talking to. Listen.
I mean, one of the biggest questions out there is
from women especially is what men are thinking. They always
you know, you get together and you think, listen, this
is what this guy did, this is what he said,
and this is how we reacted to something. How what
(19:49):
what was he thinking? And it's like, stop asking your
girlfriends and just ask a guy. So that's what we are.
We're five guys on the How Men Think Podcasts that
are willing to tell you exactly how guys are thinking.
We don't always agree because guys think different things, but
we're willing to tell you what you want to know. Well,
and I think the other thing about our show is
we're got, we're men at different ages stages of our life.
So like, I have two kids, Dmitria has four kids.
(20:11):
Brooks has zero kids. He's just recently got married. Yeah
next did two years ago? Listed by Brooks like and
Gavin DeGraw for people listening that may not Gavin is hilarious,
Gavin's he's hysterical, he's fantastic, but he's you know, he's
a rock star and he's single, so certainly he brings
that perspective, which is that's kind of a perspective that's
hard to relate to. I feel like not for you.
I would think you seem to have that single rock
(20:34):
star type of personality. Yeah, single, I don't know. That's
the question. And so let's jump into some Facebook. Let
me diverse. This question is from Becca, and I want
both of you guys to answer this as best you
can do. Men still think about their first love, even
when I'm in a happy relationship and a committed relationship,
not and I want them back way just in a
random nostalgic way. So question is either of you, two
(20:57):
married men one or two kids on the four kids,
ever think about the first woman that you ever loved?
I would say yes. I mean, I think it's not
like you're like the question saying is you're not actually
using that to take over your existing love that you're
in a relationship that you're in. But it's it's you're
and you're not comparing by any means, but you're you're
touching onto those feelings, you know, and so what was
(21:17):
that experience like and so? And you may be comparing
it to what you're doing now or how that is.
But I think you're as you go through life and
the older you get, you sort of reflect back on
certain stages of your life. You know, what was like
in high school? What was it like in college? Was
it like right after college? And there may be three
or four different people that you fell in love with
or two or whatever. And I think that I think
it's okay to do that. Yeah, for sure, I think
(21:39):
you want to you want to remember, especially that first one.
I don't think you should sit there and and peruse
in your mind all your relationships or think back at them.
But I think, as they pointed out, they mean, you
know not you know, I want them back to a
sort of way. I think you want to remember that
special time and that special person that. I mean the
person that and they don't even say sexually, they just
say the first love. So it's like the person that
(22:00):
kicked off you having these grown up feelings. I think
that's something you definitely have to remember one just because
it's a nice time in your life, but too because you,
like Rick said, you want to grow from that. Let
me ask you this, So obviously you two are in love,
you're married. Does the love that with our wives? Well,
I think and I actually love each other as well.
You guys are in respectively to your own wives. That's
obviously what I what I meant to say there, does
(22:22):
the love that you have it? Because I was a
quite love to like a feeling, right, So I was
in love when I was thirteen, But I can be
in love when I'm twenty eight and it's different love,
but it feels the same way, like in my chest,
you know. Do you would you say that it's a
similar feeling that you have that you get from it. Yeah,
I'd say it's similar, but it it certainly is more
advanced and as you grow mentally, it's like the love
(22:44):
is different, like you you you probably you cherish it
more and you're more aware of what it does for you,
what that companionship does for you. When you're young, you're like,
oh yeah, I love this person and you feel happy
to be around them and they make you feel happy emotionally.
But as you get older, you're like, do you bringing
you You made some good points there from my kids
(23:05):
drop and stuff, and the other thing I was going
to add to that, Dmitri was like, there's a lot
more on the table right now. Right, So you're it's
you can't be thirteen or twenty eight and be Google
Gaga in love with somebody. Uh. You know that you
have kids that you're you're e spreading that love too
as well, you know, and there's friends or and and
your wife. So I would say, Dean, the love is
actually different. I mean, it's still a love, but it's
(23:27):
it's a different feeling and you can't always bring that
back up. Um, and you bring that back up in
certain scenarios. So like you're firstborn, you go back, you
go out on dates, or you go on like a
little you know, uh, take a vacation together. Like those
are things that I look back on and those are
the things that kind of bring back back some of
that loving feeling. Was that a song was that Gavin song?
(23:48):
Wasn't We'll give it to him? And I think you're
exactly right. And as you get older, life is life
is tougher. Man Like when you're young and you're like,
I'm in love, Yeah, we love whatever, going to a concert,
going to the beach. But now it's like, you have
bills and you have responsibilities and you need someone that
can that can be your partner throughout that. And that's
(24:08):
that's really the difference, because you have more of an
appreciation for the love and support to say that they
gifts evolved a little bit. So you're you're both married,
you're both in love, you're both happy. For our listeners
who are experiencing heartbreak or who have never found love,
can you say that you could fall in love more
than once in your lifetime? Sure? Of course. I fell
in love with a girl in the airport the other day.
(24:30):
I just didn't get a opportunity to hang out with her.
No no, no, sorry, what are we taping, Mike? Just
because I didn't get an opportunity to go on on
five days, So there doesn't mean I didn't love it. Actually,
that's actually a funny seguay into our next question from
Katie Lee. She wants to know where can you find
quality guys? Is it dating apps? Is it airports? Is
(24:53):
it the gym? I mean, listen, I found I found
my boyfriend on Instagram, preferably guys that aren't married, you know, honestly,
I think the best case scenario, and this is my
wife and I met. We met through a mutual friend. Um.
I think if you have somebody in common, you cut
out a lot of steps, so you already kind of
(25:13):
vouched for for the person, for both people, and so
we met. She was working with somebody that started as
a sounds convoluted, but she was working with this girl
that I went to college with who started dating a
friend of mine. And then she she was throwing her
birthday party and she said, Hey, invite this guy that
I'm dating and some of his friends. And I think
you might like one of his friends. And she's like,
oh whatever, I'll set this party up. And that's that's
(25:34):
how we met. Okay, So you're saying meet the best
way to meet someone is through mutual friends. I think
that's the best case scenario. Okay, I think it's the
best case scenario. And I think Dmitri and I are
our experiences is a little bit dated, to be honest
with you, you know, and I think nowadays, if you're three,
I think whether it's through Instagram or through the Tinder app,
or through you know, some of those other those apps
(25:56):
that that people use, I think that's an okay way
to meet somebody. Um and it definitely um. It kind
of cuts to the chase in different aspects than having
a common friend. And if that doesn't work, try the
deli counter at the grocery store. That's always a good one,
that is, because you have a similar you know, have
a common thread and salted meats and see what the
(26:18):
pet also pets. Even that's the next question alright from Rainy.
Why does a guy text you first invite you to
hang out, then leave you on open for hours or
days and looking at someone specifically when they plan time.
When the plan time comes around to actually hang out,
then they text you later and ask when are we
(26:38):
hanging out? Going to hurt? He's not. He's not. He's
looking for better options. He's he's when he texts you
that first time, he's at a moment where he's like, oh,
I kind of want to hook up, or I'm thinking
about this person. He throws he cast the line out
you bite right away, and he's like, all right, well
she's on the line. Let me see what else I
can do. Let me see if there's other people out there.
(26:59):
And then he that part bypasses and I'm not saying
this is the right thing to do, but this is
what's happening in that situation. That time bypasses, and then
he's like, oh, he's like, but I gotta I don't
want it to be mad at me. Let me throw
it out there. Hey, when are we hanging out? I
totally agree with dmitri or and it may not be
that they're hanging out with another person. I think they're
just leaking for other things to do. Yeah, you know
in the meantime, Oh yeah, I was gonna go to
the ball game with my friends, or I was gonna
(27:20):
go on a bike ride, or of one of those
things too where you like, you text someone to hang
out when you're board, and then you're not bored anymore
and you don't really want to hang out with them,
you know, like it's the time to hang out with them.
Comes around, you're like, actually, I'm not bored a right.
Bottom line is you're not a priority to him, where
he's like, I absolutely want to hang out with you,
and I'm gonna jump at the chance to hang out
with you. That's so they're also saying tell the girl
not to be too easy because the guys want they
(27:41):
want to chase. They do want to chase, but in
this situation, if that happens, I think you move on
to a different guy. I don't think that's I think
so too. Yeah, all right. Next question is from Megan.
She wants to know, if a girl were to offer
it up on the first date, what a guy always
bite on the chance? Says sleep with her? No, not always.
(28:01):
I think we talked about this recently on on how
men think. I think, yeah, there's and I think Rick's
gonna disagree with me because he did that day as well.
But I think I think, yes, the guy obviously will
want sex, but when it comes down to if he
sees himself with a has a future with this person,
he may be hesitant. He may not want to rush
into it because he he doesn't want to Number one
(28:25):
as you said, we said in just a few minutes ago,
there's something about the chase of something about exploring that
time and taking baby steps in a relationship. I'm gonna
I'm just gonna interrupt you real quick. I'm sorry, because
I'm trying to think of my personal experience this here.
And I've gotten into dates before where I'm like, no
matter what happens, I'm not giving it up. Not nothing's
gonna change my mind. And I get into the to
the to the zone dates going well, it gets offered
(28:47):
up and nine times out of nine I'm not. I'm
biting and I'm taking it. And how many of those
girls have you married? Okay, it's a good point, but
still he's only twenty eight. But that's the point. So yeah,
of course you're doing that. But when you and and
don't get me wrong, I know people that that went
on a date, first date, had sex and they're happily
(29:09):
married with kids. It's possible, but in some guy's minds,
you don't. When you think about settling down and you
think about somebody being the mother to your kids, you
don't want to think, oh, she was just she was
just giving it up. If you have that special connection. Great,
but I don't I don't know if opportunitarly disagree with
you again, Dmitri. Every show that Dmitri and I are
both on, I disagree with everything he says. Yeah, yeah,
(29:30):
I disagree to I mean, I'm I'm coming from the perspective.
So basically, if you want to have sex go out
with Amy? Is that what I'm hearing about. I'm coming
from the perspective out of the date is going well,
and you're getting along with this girl, and then you
get to a certain point of the of the date
then and everyone's kind of ready to play, then let's go.
I agree with that point. I feel like the older
you get, you don't have to make excuses for the
(29:52):
decisions that you make and that at that time. So
if I wanted with I'm not going to explain when
or how my ay friend and night the first time
we had sex. But I mean, we're not going to
get into that. Um. But if he would have stopped
talking to me, for me, that's not someone I want
to do with because I want to be with someone
who respects my decisions. And if I'm making those decisions
(30:12):
based off of what Vanessa wants to do, then that's
the person I want to be with, not because they're
going to be judging me. If you know, I'm sure,
if you know, I'm sure guys have slept around the
first And it comes down to, like, um, what's it called?
Like what guys are allowed to do versus what girls
are allowed to do? Know? Would you be fine? So?
Would you be fine if if you knew that your
(30:32):
boyfriend had sex on every first date he went on,
would that be You're okay? You wouldn't think anything as
long as he's using protection. Let me say this, if
if a guy and a girl go on a date
and they sleep together and that's enough of a reason
for the guy to stop talking to the girl, then
that guy is not a girl that that that's not
a guy that the girl wants. Did anyways? Well that's true,
but I don't mean stop talking. I just think it
(30:53):
in a in in that scenario of would you have
sex every time it was offered up? I wouldn't. And
when I was in college, there were times that I
could have had sex and I didn't because I didn't want.
I didn't I knew I didn't feel that way about
that girl, and I didn't want her thinking that I
did so. But granted, keep in mind I've been married
for fourteen years, so times changed nowadays. At ricks in
(31:14):
my age, if you can have sex, you have it
with anybody again, rick or anywhere? Who plugged his mike
beg okay, Next questions from Ashley. Would you get engaged
if you didn't have the money for a nice ring?
Slash the ring your fiance wanted? So I'd say my
boyfriend and I were getting married, and for me personally,
(31:35):
I don't care. Um I was actually at a I was.
I was at Burkes yesterday and um, I was shopping
around and the woman was like, oh, come, look at
the engagement at the engagement rings, and I'm like, how
much is this? Like sixty? I'm like, ring, you could
find the same ring somewhere else, right, I'm like, I
for me, it's just it's crazy that the guy has
(31:56):
to spend that much money. I mean, of course it's pretty,
but um, I think, why not spend the money that
you know, spend all spend the money on what you
could afford, and then save it on a house or
save it for your children's education. Well that's exactly what
I did. So I knew that I wanted to propose
to my now wife, and at the time I said,
I don't. We don't have endless amounts of money. But
(32:19):
I knew I wanted to propose, and I know we
were ready to get married. So UM, I bought a
ring that I could afford, and I proposed. And then
somewhere down the line, when we were doing better in
our lives and we had more money, UM for an engagement.
I surprised her and I took her and we took
the stone from that original ring, and she picked out
a new band and we put that stone in so
it still has the original stone, but she had a
(32:39):
much nicer ring. Yeah. Why, I mean, because you don't
have enough money, you're gonna put off getting married. I
didn't see that as yeah, I don't. I agree with you, Dumiti.
And I also think that's something you can build upon.
So like you have a you have a diamond, or
you have a stone that you like, and then you
can make a bigger, better one as soon as you know,
as you move on three months salary things? Is that
still a thing is supposed to be three months? Really,
(33:00):
that's what I heard. That's very old timey, you'd have
to like get people to tell us if that's still
a thing, because that is just super from well how
much does it ring go for? Because I when I
heard sixty thou dollars, I think that was pretty based
in Yeah, you come up, dollar ring is pretty common,
but you could get a great ring for five thousand dollars.
(33:24):
The trick is like with with property. Find someone that's
going through a bad divorce and they're willing to sell
it for cheap. I mean, if you don't care about carl,
like you know, bad mojo or whatever, just do that
stop like a good will or something, maybe a thrift. Still,
don't you think it's the design and not necessarily the
size of the Oh yeah, I saw I saw this woman.
Now that I'm like, I'm always looking at women's hands
(33:45):
to see what their rings look like, so I'm trying
to get an idea, and I saw this woman that
the diamond wasn't big, but it was. It was so original.
It was like a tear drop or a pear, a
pair shape with like little bit gets on the side. Um,
but the diamonds were very very small, but it was
so original and beautiful. Yeah, finally, just a diamond band,
like it just depends who you are. But that should
not be a reason to not get engaged like that,
(34:07):
Is that bleep crazy? Because listen, my engagement ring was big,
Neil Lane, thank you. It was too big. It was
a big you can't mouth answers on a podcast because
we can't see yourself. Didn't love that ring? I mean
it was it was too big for me, Dean. You
kind of when she was describing the ring, you kind
of shuddered for a second when you heard bad guts?
(34:28):
Were you thinking, Carbs, Oh, that's not I don't want
to I want bad guts on my ring for sure. Okay.
Lisa wants to know if guys get insecure? She says,
do they ever feel like a girl might be too
good for them? So that's why they won't approach a
girl or swipe right on the app? What do you
guys think? I think so too. Yeah. I think I
think that there is definitely get insecure, weird piority complex
(34:49):
I think sometimes. I mean, we're sitting here with you,
Johnny Handsome, I mean, how do you not feel does
not like it? If a woman is more successful than
the I personally love it. So what's funny. Actually is
this girl that I did a little bit last year
for sometime. It is a very very successful commercial real
estate agent. And she says, and she's a beautiful girl,
(35:10):
and she says she goes on dates frequently, right, and
she would meet all these guys and she like makes
like five times as much money as they do, and
all of them would like shy away from her for it.
But I was like, that's like literally one of the
sexiest things you could possibly tell me, Like, that's so
sick that you're like a determined, successful, like driven person. Obviously,
I heard a lot of guys are getting insecured by
her telling them that my wife is the CEO of
a company of a big company. To me, that's hot.
(35:33):
I think that's hot. And I'm like, I don't I
don't want her being like, oh, how was word like?
She she is brilliant, she went to business school, And
I think that's a turn on. And and I have
zero insecurities about that, because if they're putting that much
effort into their work, they're gonna they know what it
takes to have something successful, So that can translate into
a marriage as well. And she knows how difficult it
is to be a co host of a podcast, then
(35:53):
it is very challenging at that time, Rick, what do
you think. I think it's I I don't get in
scure about that. No, I think it's actually a huge
accomplishment if if the woman or the significant other actually
is very successful. I think it's I think it's a
turn on. I think it's um. I think I mean,
why would you want to have or fuel and secure
about somebody that's working their own tail off? And yeah,
(36:17):
I think it's great and in general, I mean when
we did our podcast from Tahoe, Rick did it in
a speedo, so he doesn't get insecure about that comes
with a lot of I don't know exactly what it is,
but well no I do because I saw him. Yeah,
I'm just saying it's impressive because a lot of practice.
I don't know. All right, So we have one final
segment and Rick, obviously, with your blessing, we want to
(36:37):
get Peter on. Okay, So Peter's your son, Yes, extremely handsome,
thank you eighth grade. So Peter and I and well
I guess all of us met Peter on the elevator
and I swear I was like this kid's like eight teen.
He must be a senior in high school or something
like that. He shakes my hand, he literally pulls my
hand in half because he's got the strongest script. I've
ever seen. Blown away by this kid. When I was
(36:58):
thirteen years old, I was like the biggest loser in
the world, and this kid has something that just no
other kid has. So we're going to talk to him
a little bit and see what dating as a thirteen
year old in eighth grade is like nowadays. I actually
thought he was a child actor when when in the elevator,
I was like, Oh, what movie are you looking? If
you people who do know about the Bachelard franchise, he
looks like a mini Robert Graham. Yes, that's what you said.
(37:21):
I could, I know, I could definitely say it's to
know as it's the lips. Peter. Do you want thanks
for saying that? So? Peter was pulled from class early today.
He was taking a history test, but we pulled him
out to bring him to this podcast. Peter, what is
it like for you to be dating as an eighth grader?
It's very awkward. Do you have a girlfriend? Yeah? You do? Rick?
Did you know about that? How many girlfriends. I didn't
(37:43):
know about this one one. I like that answer. Um,
why is it weird to date as an eighth grader? Because,
like you're, everybody's going through puberty. You can be at
different stages. So how did you and your girlfriend meet school?
And how long have you been dating for? You have
to talk into the two years long relationship for a year?
(38:05):
And have you guys kissed each other yet? Know? Okay, okay,
playing slow. I respect that a lot. Rick. How old
were you when you had your first Guess? I was
in first grade. Yeah that's a lie. Swear to god.
It was weird now looking back on it, it was.
I was in first grade. Nicki Webb, early bloomer, remember
her name too. Does Peter ever come to you for advice? Um?
(38:26):
Not now, not not anymore? You know. Yeah. I think
in the future we'll we'll talk. We'll have to sit down.
But um, yeah, I mean most of the advice that
he's going through. Uh he talked to his mother about,
you know, in terms of their girlfriends and stuff. What
is it? What is it like with the relationship. You
guys text each other, you talk on the phone. Is
it we only set each other at school? We text
each other and school, okay, and that school. Yeah, so
(38:48):
there's not a lot of FaceTime going on or hanging
out on a person. Well, one time we FaceTime and
we um fell asleep on the FaceTime that my mom
got super mad at me. That's really romantic, it is.
I think that's cool FaceTime. But I say that over
the phone all the time. Why was she upset? Because
I woke up at twelve and they were Also they
didn't have a like, they didn't have a minute. That
(39:10):
a minute was all. That's right, that's right. So what
is it about this girl that you like a lot? Personality? Yeah,
you guys have a lot in common. Yeah, like what
exactly sport? You guys like sports? Very allergic to bees.
Oh that's okay, simpler times you were saying it, man's simpler.
You know, the older you get, the more it takes.
But yeah, when you're an eighth grade all takes. You
(39:32):
want to avoid these me too. Let's go hang out together,
not near honey? Are you? Do you see it lasting
until you guys go to high school and through high
school and all that kind of stuff. Maybe you think
she's the one. I don't know, he's were only thirty.
You don't ask somebody at that age about the one
we should be asking you. I'm just trying to get
to know him and his girlfriend a little bit better. Okay,
(39:55):
but so you don't know yet. That's that's at the
end of the day. What are you gonna KISR? Do
you have any plans to kiss her? I feel like
it has to come in the moment. So how does
someone at your thirteen How does a thirteen year old
decide this is my girlfriend? Like? What makes it your girlfriend?
We just talk about it, like, I think it's through
time I get to know the person. So you guys
(40:16):
were talking about it for a while then eventually were like,
let's just be a boyfriend girlfriends And so if she
was like talking to another boy, you'd get probably prett jealous.
Then yeah, not really. I like the confidence. That's healthy.
That's good. I don't know where he gets it from.
But um, all right, well, hey Peter, thanks for sharing
about the relationship. Um, we wish you nothing but the best. Obviously.
I guess it's a little too early, apparently to be
(40:37):
asking her if she's I think for sure, because do
you know what it takes? Do you know when you
know the one. Yes, you do. But that's my point.
He's thirteen, like he shouldn't even be thinking that day
to reveal? Are they insta official term? Are you insta official? Pure?
Did you post our picture on your Instagram? What are
(41:02):
you waiting for? Well? I don't know is that a
true thing? Like do? If you are you actually officially
dating when somebody posts the picture of the other person
that you're then you would get bullied. Then you get bullied.
Why would you get bullied? I don't know, because you're
being too romantic and what and it's eighth grade and
it's eighth grade. Maybe wait till high school for that. Yeah, listen, Peter,
(41:23):
when you want to know more about girls, I know
you want to ask your dad just listen to the
How Men Think podcast? And he doesn't allow me to.
But at the win because you're not ready when when
it's time, I would rather you have, you know, balancing
you know, thoughts as supposed to just hearing because I
know you what your dad thinks about stuff. It's okay,
listen to the group, okay, or maybe listen to help
us like your dating too in conjunction with you can
(41:45):
get it. You can get a good dichotomy there. All right, Well,
we gotta wrap it up because we are going to
go watch this baseball game. Thank you guys for joining
us on this episode. Ready for your big moment. Yes,
I'm actually seeing the national anthem tonight, but for some
weird reason, they're let me do that. I don't know why,
are you really no? I'm just bringing the ball out
to the You're I don't know, just bringing the bus.
Pretty that's a big deal. Are you throwing the picture?
You're bringing the ball out? I think I'm bringing the
ball out. I did throw the first pitch out of
(42:07):
the Angels game, actually a couple of months ago, which
is pretty cool. Did you throw right down the middle?
Had thurn baseball in like a decade, and I was
I didn't practice it all. I threw it right down there.
That's perfect, which is better than most of the Angels
pitchers are doing right now. Yap um, big thank you
to Hotel Via for hosting us. Hotel Via is a
new boutique hotel in San franz most dynamic neighborhood. The
Rooftop at Via Hotel is VIA's three thousand square foot
(42:28):
rooftop lounge that delivers some of the most stunning and
dramatic scenery in San Francisco. Located across the street from
the iconic Oracle Park, the most beautiful ballpark in America,
and a half mile from the state of the art
Chase Center, Hotel Via is at the epicenter of the best.
It is a beautiful hotel. And I actually had the
food I had. I dined already, so the food is amazing.
Their croissans are great, their salads are amazing. So big
(42:52):
thank you to Dmitri and Rick. Meet you and Rick.
Make sure to check out their podcast, um and think
it's on. I Heart Radio and you guys are killing
it right. I remember your first episode had like was
like the number one rated episode of all or something
like like ever, y're hilarious. I mean, thanks for having
us on, so you know that, what's the number? Let's
listen to podcasts in history. I always kind of reflect
(43:14):
on a little bit. I'm kind of like I feel
like I'm out of stage of my life for like
I don't really give it. You know, it's like you
willing to share stories how I feel, and I think
that's kind of the whole point of the show. You
know how men. Thanks having fun doing that. Yeah, it's great,
it's fantastic. Thanks for having Thanks for having us on.
Thanks guys big, thank you to Analyze Puccini as well
for joining us. Um and we will talk to you
(43:35):
next week. We'll give you some Paradise updates. Hopefully we'll
all be together next week. I think we might be.
Will you probably be from from my bedroom anyways, be
sure to the next week, where maybe we will suck
a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating
with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or
wherever you listen to podcast
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