May 17, 2024 • 18 mins
Comedian Greg Hahn is coming to The Caravan this weekend and he dropped by the studio to give you a little preview of his show...
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
In the studio the aforementioned comedian GregHan. Welcome back to Lord Garry Myers.
Thanks so much for having me.I'm all fired up. I play
a little golf. You play golf. I'm a member. I'm by Hey.
A lot of people think golf isboring. Not if you tackle.
Come on, I'm a member ofwhat I keep saying, member, come
on, master, I'm a masterof the dead pole snap tuc Hug.
(00:21):
Come on. He's got pioneered that. It's got the debt. Where are
you working tonight? I'm at thecaravan. Is it still open? I
hope. So if that's where youhave a job tonight, I'll be there.
It's gonna be great. So areyou there tomorrow as well? I'll
be there tomorrow. Two shows tonight, two shows tomorrow. They just replaced
the carpet they did, Nope,but still come on out a try.
(00:42):
I appreciate that a lot of tensionfocused on golf in this community right now.
A lot of people who usually aren'tinterested in it have gone out there
today. They're soaking wet and theydon't care. They're looking at celebrities.
Just use the driver, Just letthe big dog eat. Use the driver,
every hole of the driver, evenwhen you're putting. Yeah, I
never get out of the cart.Actually, just just hit the ball as
(01:02):
hard as I can walk six feet. Hit it again. Come on,
do it jokes. There's Tiger Woodshitting his drive on number nine right now.
I'm watching it. He's the Pleasedon't go in the trap again.
He's had a rough time of ittoday. Hey he's in the fairway.
That's good. He shot a triplebogie a little while ago. And see
if that were me, I'd havejust gone in. So I'm not going
to eat a sandwich. You knowwhat's great about golf. Thing to do
(01:23):
golf? If you yell four,you're allowed to hit people with your ball.
It's the best I didn't think aboutthat. You yell for that.
You can take a ball with yourhand and hit somebody in the skull.
It's in the rules. I runout of balls immediately. Then I got
a mom down with a cart direct. That's how I do it. I'm
all fired up to be in theveil, baby. Come on. Well,
(01:44):
people love you here, hon,I love it here. This place
is weird. You've built a nicefamily over the years. Why are we
weird? No? Because that's yourmotto. Oh, of course it is.
Keeping it here little weird. It'sgreat, man, just fun.
It's not. I think the guywho owned that store then burned it down,
so he was keeping it weird.I don't know. I haven't sold
any shirts in a week. Let'sburn this place down. I don't sell
(02:06):
I don't sell shirts at my show, but I'll sign whatever you're wearing.
Come on over, everybody. Theone they have today that I just ordered,
I literally just ordered a few minutesago. It says free Scottie,
and it's the mugshot of golfer ScottieScheffler, who was the rest of this
morning. I know they've already people. Man, they monetized things immediately,
don't they. Let's see how manyof these shirts we can sell, because
on Monday, nobody's gonna care.Right. Shirt's only good for right now.
(02:30):
Good grief, what a start,that's what that is. How did
he play? He played brilliantly.After being arrested, they throw him in
jail, they get him out,they bring him back to the course.
His tea times in like twenty minutes. Yeah, he warms up, takes
a couple of swings like you said, just you know, throws a few
of them around there, chased overa couple of guys in a cart and
(02:50):
got out with a blowney sandwich,still wearing his orange jumpsuit. And they
said, that's course regulation. That'sa good pit. That's very funny.
That's great, man. He's thefirst time I've ever seen it a PJA
event where he's wearing his home incarcerationankle bracelet. That's funny. That's very
funny. That's a good joke.I might use that that one tonight.
(03:12):
I'm gonna use that. How's yourlife have you? I'm doing fine.
Has anybody broken your heart since Isaw you last? My love languages do
not disturb. I'm doing good.I just bought a place of Popino Beach
overlooking an iguana. It's nice,man sounds. I try to use a
reverse mortgage. I'm getting older,you know me. You ever done that
when you bang on someone's door tellinghow much they owe you? Doesn't work?
(03:35):
Then I got a realtor. Igot a realtor. She's like,
you need to make a sincere offer. So I'm going around from the bottom
of my heart anyway, I'm doinggood. That's not what they mean by
that, But I understand this guydoing well today playing golf, because sometimes
I'll have like a comedy gig andthe plane is delayed and there's a problem,
and it's an important show, youknow, and if I could just
(03:57):
get there, I murder, Iannihilate because I'm so happy I'm there.
Is that what it is? AndI think I think Scheffler sitting in jail,
he feels like he's the U.Yeah, I'm gonna be here for
the rest of my life. Ican't believe what's going on. He cannot
believe that he's there. I'm guessing, right. And then he's on the
course. He's back to his life. Right. Wow, that's gotta be
(04:20):
fun. It was six o'clock inthe morning. Yeah, and all of
a sudden he's in a car.He's he's going into the hit balls and
then do his his first tea atlike seven fifteen. And the next thing
you know, he's in a policecar and he's going downtown, sitting on
pee in a cell. Right,they always say it smells like p I've
never been in this, but theygive you a Matt. We learned that
(04:41):
from his comments. They give youa Matt to sit on. I'll bet
you the Matt's kind of mangy too, don't you think. I think so.
It isn't like Martha Stewart just unrolledthat from cell of fane. Here,
this smells like Guardina's right. Butthen they bust him out right,
the word gets out, this guyis this than that? Was he driving?
Yeah, by the way, hewas driving. It says PGA official
(05:02):
vehicle. It says it on thedoor. It's kind of obvious. Wow.
All right, here's a comment fromScheffler a little while ago after he
finished his round. He's not better. I mean, they're really kind.
I'm grateful to have. Yeah,I'm grateful that we have, you know,
such strong police and you know thereare protectors out there, and you
know, like I said, wejust got into a chaotic situation this morning.
(05:23):
That's really all. It was.Out of a hundred, out of
one hundred and fifty six golfers,he's the most mellow of them all.
He's just this quiet family man guy, doesn't make much noise. People go
he's so boring. It's like,well, he's not very boring anymore.
Plays golf. We thought about washe supposed to do some of them are
kind of funny, and some ofthem have these various person I was very
(05:44):
flat line, very low key guy. I just hit the ball, and
all of a sudden he's in thecenter of this controversy. It's just weird.
Maybe he wears colorful socks or somethinglike that. The guys do that
don't have a personality. They puton the socks. I want to hear
about you, wherever you be,the place I'm all over. You know
I'm doing this. I'm still doingthe corporate shows. Yeah, it's the
same act as my club act.But I'm wearing a suit. You know
(06:06):
what I mean. I can't believeyou have a suit. I've never seen
you suit it up. Yeah.No, Sometimes I wear a suit in
the corporate shows, and I'm goingthe dates. You know, I'm always
looking. Louisville girl would be great. I saw you with a hot chicken
the mall one time. Do youremember that. I think it was Wallace
Kristen. Yeah, should have hungon her, big mistake. Did she
dump you? No? She?Uh, well yeah maybe she did.
(06:26):
Let's go that way. Yeah shedump me, she dumped you, yeah
yeah yeah, yeah, don't sayyou dumped her. No, because you
already said her first date. No, she's a genius, brilliant girl.
You're lucky to get her back.But you know what these dates, with
these dates, you got to letthe lady talk. That's the key,
you know how to do with thesedates. You got to let the woman.
Don't brag it, you know whatI mean. Guys brag a lot.
Like I'm a VIP member of sportsclips. I try not to bring
(06:47):
it up that I could brag allday. I've got out standing penmanship.
My head is waterproof. But here'sthe thing. Let the lady talk.
Let her talk. Ask her questionsyou got her going? Hey are those
your feet like? Nice? Questions? Hey? Open ended? Do you
like stuff? Get her talking.I can't believe she dumps. You give
her the psychological Hey, what kindof an animal would you be if you're
a squirrel? Try that. That'swhat you're doing. These dates. Got
(07:10):
to do it right. There's alood trip doors and trap wires. You
know. Take her to dinner.You ever take a lady to dinner and
then you do the ordering for her? It's romantic? Is it? If
you get it right, It's likea magic trick, you know, I
get myself out of the way.I'll be like, I'll take the filet,
lobster taille nice were low and forthe lady, hot dog small milk.
Nailed it. I can't believe thatyou can't hold on to a girlfriend.
(07:33):
Then after dinner you want to dothe body shots. That's a good
one. Body shot tequila is anythingmore exciting. Gotta lick her neck to
make the salt stick. Then youlick the salt off her neck. Then
she gets a bit of an attitudewhen she realizes you never ordered it.
A tequila too expensive. Oh thatPDA can get in the way sometimes.
(07:55):
And then don't call her. Ifthe date goes well, you can't call
her. That's the key. Don'tdon't call her for four days. Don't
be like me. I call herin four minutes, and then every four
minutes until the authorities are surrounding myhouse. That's how I do it.
I call her while I'm driving herhome. It's weird. I got a
problem. I can every four minutesuntil have you seen that Baby Reindeer thing
(08:16):
that's on it's about a stalker.I think you might be like that woman
and Baby Reindeer on Netflix. Oh, I don't know that it's the hot
series of the summer. Really,I'll be hearing about it. Okay,
they're gonna start calling you Fiona.All right, I'll tune in. I
think her name's Martha, the characterin the show. What her real name?
The lady in real life? Becausebased on a real story. No,
I don't watch any show to bea stalker guy. I'll try not
(08:37):
to. I don't watch any shows. Really. I just for my TV.
By the way, remodeled my placemyself, you know what I mean.
Yeah, the bathroom A guy,single guy remodeled it. Put an
eighty five inch TV in the bathroom, had to have the toilet removed.
But anyway, I only watch you. I'll only watch you FC fights.
That's how I do it, youknow, because I used to fight.
You know men, I used tofight. You're a tough guy. I
(08:58):
was the Mangler, lost by fight, changed my name of the Strangler.
Then it became the star spangled Bangler. Come on, Terry, Remember when
I fought that kid wearing the medicalalert bracelet and he nailed me in the
forehead of the ZEPPI pen I tappedout that my rash cleared up doing jokes
everybody. He's working. Greg Han, a h N is at the comedy
(09:20):
the Caravan, the Caravans. Firstthing you'll see is a rug with a
big stain on it in the trashcan come on in. We're a mid
city mall, right, we're open. He has a lot of fun in
there. It's a mid city mall. They just closed the famous bar on
the other end of it. Theback door, the back door. I
shut the door the other night andsaid that's the dead door. Now that
was a dangerous place. I lovedit, you know what I mean.
(09:41):
I used to go out with agirl that got banned from the back door.
Back to the back door. Howhorrible was she? Awesome? She
was awesome, That's how she was. Scottie Scheffler's not welcome there either,
unless he's wearing his home incarceration bracelet. Oh my god, it's actually a
course incarceration bracelet. They let himgo to the course today. Sit tight,
Han, can you do that?That's Greg Han. He's what times
(10:03):
your show? I don't know.He's the Caravan, Mid City maybe two
shows too. You understand it's fiveseventeen PM right now, so you're okay,
Yeah, good, hang around todo another second skyline. All right,
yeah, you gotta get a skyon their store. There you go,
flyway that got you in some othershow? What I thought it was?
Yeah, coming right back on newsradio A forty wha s. I
(10:26):
want to say hi again to GregHan, the comedian. He's in town
to perform tonight at the Caravan.Welcome back. You played this city one
hundred times. They have been onany stage more than this stage my favorite.
It's one of my favorite stages.Why do you love this city so
much? What brings you back?They let me come back? Is that
it Some places don't want me toTheir check place is great. Their check
(10:48):
clears as we're saying, or thelu they're honest. At this place,
it's beautiful. People are fun.You know. I think maybe I got
my show because I got a newshow coming out where I travel the country
eating the State Bird. Come on, it's time at five o'clock Early Bird
Special. Check it out. Comeon. I don't think Cardinals that good.
We're doing jokes. We're doing jokes. I don't think Cardinals that scrumptious.
(11:11):
No, you're gonna be very disappointedby that. That's how that goes,
weren't you in the United States Military? Were you? We don't have
all day? Too slow to getback? How Hello, Yeah, I
was on the ground. I shouldhave been a pilot. Why would you
have been if I was. IfI was a pilot when I was in
the Marine corpse in the Marines,If I was a pilot, then I'd
be flying for Delta by now.Wouldn't that be great? That'd be awesome
(11:33):
if I was your My announcements wouldbe fun good. Even this is a
Commander Han call sign Graham Raper.I've had fourteen hundred aircraft carry landing twenty
seven confirmed kills. We're coming inhot Fogy's on our six. I'd make
him nervous. Back there near theback of the the UH where they're sitting
(11:54):
next to those restrooms. If you'rea civilian trash in the overhead bins,
there's there's an escape back there.Some of them may prefer to you stay
out on my laboratory. Tut thejacket on the house. We're coming in
for land, and get your seatbeltsoff, get up and mingle hot out.
I get that much time you're flyingthe plane every now and again.
(12:15):
I'd just come back on the airon out. At least we would understand
what you were saying, because somany times you're flying and you can't understand
what the guy is saying. There'sthere's the noise that goes along with flying,
and then the guys decides he's amumbler. Well, folks, what
did he say? I like thefront, I like the first class.
(12:35):
Get the hot towel, you everget the hot love that? What are
you supposed to do that thing?After you jam it down your shorts?
Just leave it there at the belland order another one. That's what I
do. That wets bottle. Keepeverybody away from you in the luggage pickup
line. I don't mind flying.You got a nice airport here, like
you know what's named after Muhammad Ali? How many boxers have an airport named
(12:58):
after them? Don't I think there'sa Joe Lewis airport. I don't think
there's a Norton airport. Yeah,yeah, nice, yes, good,
excellent? Yeah, Mike Tyson InternationalAward. No, that's not happening either,
you know, so what would thatbe like? I don't know.
I like airports, I like Ilike hotels, like forty four. He
(13:20):
was very strong. You like hotels? What are you talking about? Oh,
I'm in a nice hotel. Youget a lot of nice. You
know you're at a bad hotel Whenyou check into your room. There's bite
marks in the soap. Isn't thatthe worst? That's not happening. You
hate it? In a shower,curtain sticks to you while you're laying in
bed. Come on, hey,here's the thing. I don't even get
that joke. What's that mean?Small room? I wrote it? Don't
get it. Here's the thing.I might open up my own hotel chain,
(13:43):
call it Greg Hans No Surprises Hotel. I'll work the front desk and
tell people exactly what's going on.Is they come walking in, you know,
hey, welcome to No Surprises.We got a free breakfast bufet.
But no matter what time you showup, you just missed it. I
hate it when that happens. Weare pet friendly. Your room smells like
a water buffalo. Try our businesscenter, so unplugged coffee or plug it
(14:05):
in? You know, at leastyou're honest. What does a water buffalo
smell like? It doesn't sound likeit smells good. It smells like some
of those pancakes at those free breakfaststhat are actually happening, right, Fine,
you make those waffles yourself. They'reso lazy at these places. Now,
(14:28):
oh, you make your own wafflenow, you know, come on
the world famous waffle house. Well, yeah, that's good. That's where
at those cheap hotels though they say, you know, free breakfast. You
go down there and they have awaffle iron and you're supposed to make it.
I know that is tough. There'scheerios all over everything. Yeah,
cheerios and your oatmeal. It's adisaster. Always some sadists sticking their hand
on the waffle iron to see howmuch they can take. I really have
(14:52):
never seen that. I like theidea. I'm gonna work that in too.
That smells worse than a water buffalo. Is that simmering, searing flesh
on a on a iron. Youtook this joke to a whole new team.
I'm sorry about that. You gotto do what you want with it
there, Greg and Greg Hunt.When you are on stage, do you
mess Do you mess with people inthe audience or you leave them out of
(15:15):
it? I don't know. Iusually, uh, you know, I
don't like people watching me when Iwork. That's like a small, quiet
crowd. I talked to him alittle bit. You know, that changes
the show a little bit. ButI'm not genuinely interested. When I watch
a show and they say, sohow long you've been married, that's I
don't care. I'm not interested,right, so I don't do it in
(15:35):
my show. I just bust outthe jokes. You know what I mean?
Do you think others are insincere whenthey're asking how long you by?
That's part of the bit, Hey, can ey might be fifty years?
Hey, you know, I'm justnot into it. Let's all stand up
and donate one hundred bucks to theSalvation Army. What? Yeah, I
don't know. By the way Ibussed out the jokes, that's much easier
to join the Salvation Army than theUnited States Marines, isn't it. That's
(15:56):
right? But then after the Marines, I can you know what, I
can join one of those patriotic groupswhere you get a gorilla suit in a
goat cart, you put on afez, do a figure eight in the
parade. Can't wait? You knowwhat I mean? Yeah? That looks
like big fun. Where are thosego carts? The rest of the year,
we only see him derby week.Where's that guy doing in the gorilla
(16:18):
suit in the fez the rest ofthe year? Who's he tormenting with a
go cart? Right? Right right, I'll gotta go. I'll get another
job someday, maybe like a nonjob, you know, like conductor.
You ever thought about conducting? No? You know it's you don't even have
a job. The lady's been playingobo for forty years. You don't think
she knows when to come in?You know what I mean? Concierge is
not even gonna plug in my phone. She already knows the tune. Right,
(16:45):
we're gonna do Right of the Valkyriesagain? Okay, when do I
come with da Dad? That's iteasy, That's very easy, Conductor,
I don't know. Yes, comedy. See when you first said can doctor,
I thought train. I thought youwere talking about a train. Oh
that's a good gig too, isn'tit. I mean, yeah, you
(17:06):
just pushed start and then you justsit sit back and yeah, there's no
steering wheel read GQ. It's goodpoint. Yeah, it's all electrified.
Where amen, the gates come down. I can't help, but if your
Toyota is sitting there, I didthe best I could, right, Yeah,
that's director conductor. Yeah, mygreat grandfather was a conductor. He
got a hit by lightning. Comeon, everybody, I'm doing jokes in
(17:30):
here, Harry. Thanks for havingme back to the show. I think
you show myself out. Actually it'stime for you. Got to go work
in a few minutes. Yea,yeah, I guess so. All right,
caravan, mid City mall. Howmany shows tonight? You got to
two tonight to tomorrow? Come onout, everybody, we'll goof off,
we'll climb around. Come on,let's go go see Greg Han a h
in Where do people find you online? Greghn dot com for corporate shows,
(17:52):
Greg Hon dot com. Well tosee that you're at the caravan or wherever
you're going to be next know whereyou'll be? What's their caravan? Yeah,
Greg Han dot com for my schedule, Yeah, at Han Comedy on
x on social media at Han Comedy. Yeah. Whatever, man, come
on, just come on see meand say well hello, Well tonight or
tomorrow? What about Sunday? You'reworking? Then to a Sunday I fly
(18:14):
back to you'll be home. Yeah, you'll be back in the airport putting
a hot towel in your pants.That's right, that's it perfect, Greg
Han. Everybody will see you caravantonight. Back in a minute on news
Radio eight forty WHA s
In the studio the aforementioned comedian GregHan. Welcome back to Lord Garry Myers.
Thanks so much for having me.I'm all fired up. I play
a little golf. You play golf. I'm a member. I'm by Hey.
A lot of people think golf isboring. Not if you tackle.
Come on, I'm a member ofwhat I keep saying, member, come
on, master, I'm a masterof the dead pole snap tuc Hug.
(00:21):
Come on. He's got pioneered that. It's got the debt. Where are
you working tonight? I'm at thecaravan. Is it still open? I
hope. So if that's where youhave a job tonight, I'll be there.
It's gonna be great. So areyou there tomorrow as well? I'll
be there tomorrow. Two shows tonight, two shows tomorrow. They just replaced
the carpet they did, Nope,but still come on out a try.
(00:42):
I appreciate that a lot of tensionfocused on golf in this community right now.
A lot of people who usually aren'tinterested in it have gone out there
today. They're soaking wet and theydon't care. They're looking at celebrities.
Just use the driver, Just letthe big dog eat. Use the driver,
every hole of the driver, evenwhen you're putting. Yeah, I
never get out of the cart.Actually, just just hit the ball as
(01:02):
hard as I can walk six feet. Hit it again. Come on,
do it jokes. There's Tiger Woodshitting his drive on number nine right now.
I'm watching it. He's the Pleasedon't go in the trap again.
He's had a rough time of ittoday. Hey he's in the fairway.
That's good. He shot a triplebogie a little while ago. And see
if that were me, I'd havejust gone in. So I'm not going
to eat a sandwich. You knowwhat's great about golf. Thing to do
(01:23):
golf? If you yell four,you're allowed to hit people with your ball.
It's the best I didn't think aboutthat. You yell for that.
You can take a ball with yourhand and hit somebody in the skull.
It's in the rules. I runout of balls immediately. Then I got
a mom down with a cart direct. That's how I do it. I'm
all fired up to be in theveil, baby. Come on. Well,
(01:44):
people love you here, hon,I love it here. This place
is weird. You've built a nicefamily over the years. Why are we
weird? No? Because that's yourmotto. Oh, of course it is.
Keeping it here little weird. It'sgreat, man, just fun.
It's not. I think the guywho owned that store then burned it down,
so he was keeping it weird.I don't know. I haven't sold
any shirts in a week. Let'sburn this place down. I don't sell
(02:06):
I don't sell shirts at my show, but I'll sign whatever you're wearing.
Come on over, everybody. Theone they have today that I just ordered,
I literally just ordered a few minutesago. It says free Scottie,
and it's the mugshot of golfer ScottieScheffler, who was the rest of this
morning. I know they've already people. Man, they monetized things immediately,
don't they. Let's see how manyof these shirts we can sell, because
on Monday, nobody's gonna care.Right. Shirt's only good for right now.
(02:30):
Good grief, what a start,that's what that is. How did
he play? He played brilliantly.After being arrested, they throw him in
jail, they get him out,they bring him back to the course.
His tea times in like twenty minutes. Yeah, he warms up, takes
a couple of swings like you said, just you know, throws a few
of them around there, chased overa couple of guys in a cart and
(02:50):
got out with a blowney sandwich,still wearing his orange jumpsuit. And they
said, that's course regulation. That'sa good pit. That's very funny.
That's great, man. He's thefirst time I've ever seen it a PJA
event where he's wearing his home incarcerationankle bracelet. That's funny. That's very
funny. That's a good joke.I might use that that one tonight.
(03:12):
I'm gonna use that. How's yourlife have you? I'm doing fine.
Has anybody broken your heart since Isaw you last? My love languages do
not disturb. I'm doing good.I just bought a place of Popino Beach
overlooking an iguana. It's nice,man sounds. I try to use a
reverse mortgage. I'm getting older,you know me. You ever done that
when you bang on someone's door tellinghow much they owe you? Doesn't work?
(03:35):
Then I got a realtor. Igot a realtor. She's like,
you need to make a sincere offer. So I'm going around from the bottom
of my heart anyway, I'm doinggood. That's not what they mean by
that, But I understand this guydoing well today playing golf, because sometimes
I'll have like a comedy gig andthe plane is delayed and there's a problem,
and it's an important show, youknow, and if I could just
(03:57):
get there, I murder, Iannihilate because I'm so happy I'm there.
Is that what it is? AndI think I think Scheffler sitting in jail,
he feels like he's the U.Yeah, I'm gonna be here for
the rest of my life. Ican't believe what's going on. He cannot
believe that he's there. I'm guessing, right. And then he's on the
course. He's back to his life. Right. Wow, that's gotta be
(04:20):
fun. It was six o'clock inthe morning. Yeah, and all of
a sudden he's in a car.He's he's going into the hit balls and
then do his his first tea atlike seven fifteen. And the next thing
you know, he's in a policecar and he's going downtown, sitting on
pee in a cell. Right,they always say it smells like p I've
never been in this, but theygive you a Matt. We learned that
(04:41):
from his comments. They give youa Matt to sit on. I'll bet
you the Matt's kind of mangy too, don't you think. I think so.
It isn't like Martha Stewart just unrolledthat from cell of fane. Here,
this smells like Guardina's right. Butthen they bust him out right,
the word gets out, this guyis this than that? Was he driving?
Yeah, by the way, hewas driving. It says PGA official
(05:02):
vehicle. It says it on thedoor. It's kind of obvious. Wow.
All right, here's a comment fromScheffler a little while ago after he
finished his round. He's not better. I mean, they're really kind.
I'm grateful to have. Yeah,I'm grateful that we have, you know,
such strong police and you know thereare protectors out there, and you
know, like I said, wejust got into a chaotic situation this morning.
(05:23):
That's really all. It was.Out of a hundred, out of
one hundred and fifty six golfers,he's the most mellow of them all.
He's just this quiet family man guy, doesn't make much noise. People go
he's so boring. It's like,well, he's not very boring anymore.
Plays golf. We thought about washe supposed to do some of them are
kind of funny, and some ofthem have these various person I was very
(05:44):
flat line, very low key guy. I just hit the ball, and
all of a sudden he's in thecenter of this controversy. It's just weird.
Maybe he wears colorful socks or somethinglike that. The guys do that
don't have a personality. They puton the socks. I want to hear
about you, wherever you be,the place I'm all over. You know
I'm doing this. I'm still doingthe corporate shows. Yeah, it's the
same act as my club act.But I'm wearing a suit. You know
(06:06):
what I mean. I can't believeyou have a suit. I've never seen
you suit it up. Yeah.No, Sometimes I wear a suit in
the corporate shows, and I'm goingthe dates. You know, I'm always
looking. Louisville girl would be great. I saw you with a hot chicken
the mall one time. Do youremember that. I think it was Wallace
Kristen. Yeah, should have hungon her, big mistake. Did she
dump you? No? She?Uh, well yeah maybe she did.
(06:26):
Let's go that way. Yeah shedump me, she dumped you, yeah
yeah yeah, yeah, don't sayyou dumped her. No, because you
already said her first date. No, she's a genius, brilliant girl.
You're lucky to get her back.But you know what these dates, with
these dates, you got to letthe lady talk. That's the key,
you know how to do with thesedates. You got to let the woman.
Don't brag it, you know whatI mean. Guys brag a lot.
Like I'm a VIP member of sportsclips. I try not to bring
(06:47):
it up that I could brag allday. I've got out standing penmanship.
My head is waterproof. But here'sthe thing. Let the lady talk.
Let her talk. Ask her questionsyou got her going? Hey are those
your feet like? Nice? Questions? Hey? Open ended? Do you
like stuff? Get her talking.I can't believe she dumps. You give
her the psychological Hey, what kindof an animal would you be if you're
a squirrel? Try that. That'swhat you're doing. These dates. Got
(07:10):
to do it right. There's alood trip doors and trap wires. You
know. Take her to dinner.You ever take a lady to dinner and
then you do the ordering for her? It's romantic? Is it? If
you get it right, It's likea magic trick, you know, I
get myself out of the way.I'll be like, I'll take the filet,
lobster taille nice were low and forthe lady, hot dog small milk.
Nailed it. I can't believe thatyou can't hold on to a girlfriend.
(07:33):
Then after dinner you want to dothe body shots. That's a good
one. Body shot tequila is anythingmore exciting. Gotta lick her neck to
make the salt stick. Then youlick the salt off her neck. Then
she gets a bit of an attitudewhen she realizes you never ordered it.
A tequila too expensive. Oh thatPDA can get in the way sometimes.
(07:55):
And then don't call her. Ifthe date goes well, you can't call
her. That's the key. Don'tdon't call her for four days. Don't
be like me. I call herin four minutes, and then every four
minutes until the authorities are surrounding myhouse. That's how I do it.
I call her while I'm driving herhome. It's weird. I got a
problem. I can every four minutesuntil have you seen that Baby Reindeer thing
(08:16):
that's on it's about a stalker.I think you might be like that woman
and Baby Reindeer on Netflix. Oh, I don't know that it's the hot
series of the summer. Really,I'll be hearing about it. Okay,
they're gonna start calling you Fiona.All right, I'll tune in. I
think her name's Martha, the characterin the show. What her real name?
The lady in real life? Becausebased on a real story. No,
I don't watch any show to bea stalker guy. I'll try not
(08:37):
to. I don't watch any shows. Really. I just for my TV.
By the way, remodeled my placemyself, you know what I mean.
Yeah, the bathroom A guy,single guy remodeled it. Put an
eighty five inch TV in the bathroom, had to have the toilet removed.
But anyway, I only watch you. I'll only watch you FC fights.
That's how I do it, youknow, because I used to fight.
You know men, I used tofight. You're a tough guy. I
(08:58):
was the Mangler, lost by fight, changed my name of the Strangler.
Then it became the star spangled Bangler. Come on, Terry, Remember when
I fought that kid wearing the medicalalert bracelet and he nailed me in the
forehead of the ZEPPI pen I tappedout that my rash cleared up doing jokes
everybody. He's working. Greg Han, a h N is at the comedy
(09:20):
the Caravan, the Caravans. Firstthing you'll see is a rug with a
big stain on it in the trashcan come on in. We're a mid
city mall, right, we're open. He has a lot of fun in
there. It's a mid city mall. They just closed the famous bar on
the other end of it. Theback door, the back door. I
shut the door the other night andsaid that's the dead door. Now that
was a dangerous place. I lovedit, you know what I mean.
(09:41):
I used to go out with agirl that got banned from the back door.
Back to the back door. Howhorrible was she? Awesome? She
was awesome, That's how she was. Scottie Scheffler's not welcome there either,
unless he's wearing his home incarceration bracelet. Oh my god, it's actually a
course incarceration bracelet. They let himgo to the course today. Sit tight,
Han, can you do that?That's Greg Han. He's what times
(10:03):
your show? I don't know.He's the Caravan, Mid City maybe two
shows too. You understand it's fiveseventeen PM right now, so you're okay,
Yeah, good, hang around todo another second skyline. All right,
yeah, you gotta get a skyon their store. There you go,
flyway that got you in some othershow? What I thought it was?
Yeah, coming right back on newsradio A forty wha s. I
(10:26):
want to say hi again to GregHan, the comedian. He's in town
to perform tonight at the Caravan.Welcome back. You played this city one
hundred times. They have been onany stage more than this stage my favorite.
It's one of my favorite stages.Why do you love this city so
much? What brings you back?They let me come back? Is that
it Some places don't want me toTheir check place is great. Their check
(10:48):
clears as we're saying, or thelu they're honest. At this place,
it's beautiful. People are fun.You know. I think maybe I got
my show because I got a newshow coming out where I travel the country
eating the State Bird. Come on, it's time at five o'clock Early Bird
Special. Check it out. Comeon. I don't think Cardinals that good.
We're doing jokes. We're doing jokes. I don't think Cardinals that scrumptious.
(11:11):
No, you're gonna be very disappointedby that. That's how that goes,
weren't you in the United States Military? Were you? We don't have
all day? Too slow to getback? How Hello, Yeah, I
was on the ground. I shouldhave been a pilot. Why would you
have been if I was. IfI was a pilot when I was in
the Marine corpse in the Marines,If I was a pilot, then I'd
be flying for Delta by now.Wouldn't that be great? That'd be awesome
(11:33):
if I was your My announcements wouldbe fun good. Even this is a
Commander Han call sign Graham Raper.I've had fourteen hundred aircraft carry landing twenty
seven confirmed kills. We're coming inhot Fogy's on our six. I'd make
him nervous. Back there near theback of the the UH where they're sitting
(11:54):
next to those restrooms. If you'rea civilian trash in the overhead bins,
there's there's an escape back there.Some of them may prefer to you stay
out on my laboratory. Tut thejacket on the house. We're coming in
for land, and get your seatbeltsoff, get up and mingle hot out.
I get that much time you're flyingthe plane every now and again.
(12:15):
I'd just come back on the airon out. At least we would understand
what you were saying, because somany times you're flying and you can't understand
what the guy is saying. There'sthere's the noise that goes along with flying,
and then the guys decides he's amumbler. Well, folks, what
did he say? I like thefront, I like the first class.
(12:35):
Get the hot towel, you everget the hot love that? What are
you supposed to do that thing?After you jam it down your shorts?
Just leave it there at the belland order another one. That's what I
do. That wets bottle. Keepeverybody away from you in the luggage pickup
line. I don't mind flying.You got a nice airport here, like
you know what's named after Muhammad Ali? How many boxers have an airport named
(12:58):
after them? Don't I think there'sa Joe Lewis airport. I don't think
there's a Norton airport. Yeah,yeah, nice, yes, good,
excellent? Yeah, Mike Tyson InternationalAward. No, that's not happening either,
you know, so what would thatbe like? I don't know.
I like airports, I like Ilike hotels, like forty four. He
(13:20):
was very strong. You like hotels? What are you talking about? Oh,
I'm in a nice hotel. Youget a lot of nice. You
know you're at a bad hotel Whenyou check into your room. There's bite
marks in the soap. Isn't thatthe worst? That's not happening. You
hate it? In a shower,curtain sticks to you while you're laying in
bed. Come on, hey,here's the thing. I don't even get
that joke. What's that mean?Small room? I wrote it? Don't
get it. Here's the thing.I might open up my own hotel chain,
(13:43):
call it Greg Hans No Surprises Hotel. I'll work the front desk and
tell people exactly what's going on.Is they come walking in, you know,
hey, welcome to No Surprises.We got a free breakfast bufet.
But no matter what time you showup, you just missed it. I
hate it when that happens. Weare pet friendly. Your room smells like
a water buffalo. Try our businesscenter, so unplugged coffee or plug it
(14:05):
in? You know, at leastyou're honest. What does a water buffalo
smell like? It doesn't sound likeit smells good. It smells like some
of those pancakes at those free breakfaststhat are actually happening, right, Fine,
you make those waffles yourself. They'reso lazy at these places. Now,
(14:28):
oh, you make your own wafflenow, you know, come on
the world famous waffle house. Well, yeah, that's good. That's where
at those cheap hotels though they say, you know, free breakfast. You
go down there and they have awaffle iron and you're supposed to make it.
I know that is tough. There'scheerios all over everything. Yeah,
cheerios and your oatmeal. It's adisaster. Always some sadists sticking their hand
on the waffle iron to see howmuch they can take. I really have
(14:52):
never seen that. I like theidea. I'm gonna work that in too.
That smells worse than a water buffalo. Is that simmering, searing flesh
on a on a iron. Youtook this joke to a whole new team.
I'm sorry about that. You gotto do what you want with it
there, Greg and Greg Hunt.When you are on stage, do you
mess Do you mess with people inthe audience or you leave them out of
(15:15):
it? I don't know. Iusually, uh, you know, I
don't like people watching me when Iwork. That's like a small, quiet
crowd. I talked to him alittle bit. You know, that changes
the show a little bit. ButI'm not genuinely interested. When I watch
a show and they say, sohow long you've been married, that's I
don't care. I'm not interested,right, so I don't do it in
(15:35):
my show. I just bust outthe jokes. You know what I mean?
Do you think others are insincere whenthey're asking how long you by?
That's part of the bit, Hey, can ey might be fifty years?
Hey, you know, I'm justnot into it. Let's all stand up
and donate one hundred bucks to theSalvation Army. What? Yeah, I
don't know. By the way Ibussed out the jokes, that's much easier
to join the Salvation Army than theUnited States Marines, isn't it. That's
(15:56):
right? But then after the Marines, I can you know what, I
can join one of those patriotic groupswhere you get a gorilla suit in a
goat cart, you put on afez, do a figure eight in the
parade. Can't wait? You knowwhat I mean? Yeah? That looks
like big fun. Where are thosego carts? The rest of the year,
we only see him derby week.Where's that guy doing in the gorilla
(16:18):
suit in the fez the rest ofthe year? Who's he tormenting with a
go cart? Right? Right right, I'll gotta go. I'll get another
job someday, maybe like a nonjob, you know, like conductor.
You ever thought about conducting? No? You know it's you don't even have
a job. The lady's been playingobo for forty years. You don't think
she knows when to come in?You know what I mean? Concierge is
not even gonna plug in my phone. She already knows the tune. Right,
(16:45):
we're gonna do Right of the Valkyriesagain? Okay, when do I
come with da Dad? That's iteasy, That's very easy, Conductor,
I don't know. Yes, comedy. See when you first said can doctor,
I thought train. I thought youwere talking about a train. Oh
that's a good gig too, isn'tit. I mean, yeah, you
(17:06):
just pushed start and then you justsit sit back and yeah, there's no
steering wheel read GQ. It's goodpoint. Yeah, it's all electrified.
Where amen, the gates come down. I can't help, but if your
Toyota is sitting there, I didthe best I could, right, Yeah,
that's director conductor. Yeah, mygreat grandfather was a conductor. He
got a hit by lightning. Comeon, everybody, I'm doing jokes in
(17:30):
here, Harry. Thanks for havingme back to the show. I think
you show myself out. Actually it'stime for you. Got to go work
in a few minutes. Yea,yeah, I guess so. All right,
caravan, mid City mall. Howmany shows tonight? You got to
two tonight to tomorrow? Come onout, everybody, we'll goof off,
we'll climb around. Come on,let's go go see Greg Han a h
in Where do people find you online? Greghn dot com for corporate shows,
(17:52):
Greg Hon dot com. Well tosee that you're at the caravan or wherever
you're going to be next know whereyou'll be? What's their caravan? Yeah,
Greg Han dot com for my schedule, Yeah, at Han Comedy on
x on social media at Han Comedy. Yeah. Whatever, man, come
on, just come on see meand say well hello, Well tonight or
tomorrow? What about Sunday? You'reworking? Then to a Sunday I fly
(18:14):
back to you'll be home. Yeah, you'll be back in the airport putting
a hot towel in your pants.That's right, that's it perfect, Greg
Han. Everybody will see you caravantonight. Back in a minute on news
Radio eight forty WHA s
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