Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Look, all I'm saying is you had no right to
throw my pop tarts away. They were my pop tarts.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
No, listen to me very carefully. We're changing that diet.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
No, we're not.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Man, Listen, your pop tarts are gonna kill you and
I can't allow that to happen.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Quit saying stupid stuff like is that heart smart? Because
it's none of your business.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Is it heart smart?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Well pop tart? Listen to this man? Okay, hell is
this pop tart rhymes with heart smart?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
No, it's not. How good. Dave, I met this little bee. Yeah,
and this bee was He went, that's the honey and
he said, he said, cheerios, Dude, it's hard healthy. And
I went and bought cheerios from.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Kroger and they tastes like sand.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
This mass the bee. The bee is setting you up.
Have you ever read the ingredients on cheerios? Man?
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
David le Ross's birthday.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Oh okay, how old? How old? No? Really, it's just
it's James.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
It was just an aer What a weirdo.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
He looks like by the way, he looks like if
Niles Crane from Fraser and Doctor Smith from A Lost
in Space made love the baby would look just like
Heavely Roth.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Now you know, here's the thing. You don't know these people.
You think, look, nobody was cooler from eighty two to
eighty sixty two and a half, you know, from in
nineteen eighty two and eighty six. Then then uh right, yeah,
but then you find out that Van Halen brothers are
complete nerds and weirdos, and so is David Lee Roth.
(01:41):
I'd like to see him.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Trying to do that kick that he used to do. Now, no,
he still doesn't.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And by the way, you know he's still really absolutely
and by the way, stole his entire act.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Jim Dandy, Jim Dandy. It's it's not even It's like
he went and just took every from that everything from
the top down from him him. Come on, nuh, I
have a list.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
You got a list, list.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Little secrets. Let's do the list was bad Tony Venetti
when I was out having a heart attack because this show.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Hey, when I see your sister, it makes my heart
go put a pet And sometimes when I see your sister,
she gives me a heart attack.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I sent you a picture of my robe. I brought
my own robe to the hospital. I saw that this
silk robe blue.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Out of the growing up. I used to be a baker.
Now I got a clog.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
We do maka, thank you, thank you, bad Tony. What
is the list, sir?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Of course it comes from rad At the quote or
I'm sorry the question what is the secret that you
can't tell anyone because it will probably ruin your life?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Oh my god, Oh my gosh. No, let's do let's
do a fifth the joke in a second. Guess I
think this list might be interesting.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
I don't know why this would ruin your life, but
at Christmas, my family loves my homemade eggnog. It's just
high end store bought eggnog, and I put a couple
of tiny pieces of eggshell in it to make it
look like I missed a call when I strained it.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Fantastic you and so many Oh that's not a ruin
your life, that now, Dave. We did this on the
Morning show twenty something years ago. A person called in
and he was very He's like, okay, I killed somebody.
And we were like, okay, how did you kill somebody?
Who was like he was did this to my daughter?
(03:38):
And uh And I told him a school get a beer.
He shot him in his car or something like that. Wow,
I was like, he he told so many details. I
was like, I think that caller.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Was We did give us confessions, right, you.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Like this one.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
I have a bad back and from time to time
it goes into full on spasm. One day, I was
getting out of bed and as my foot hit the
floor spasm. I have no idea how, but a perfectly
formed poop fell out of the leg of my shorts
and landed on the floor. Due to my spasm, I
fell and landed on the poop. The commotion woke up
(04:16):
my girlfriend at the time, and she ran to check
on me. I blamed it on the dog.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was so surprised.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
I thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
That is dependent on the girlfriend. It's a good call.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yeah, I had a spasm and lucky look what he did?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Really because it smells like human poop? Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Is there a difference between human poop smell and dog poop? Yes,
ladies and gentlemen. Add to his repertoire, Tony VINEDI poop connoisseur.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Yes, poop a sore secrets. I stopped working about a
year ago. I have no idea what they want from me.
Because I watched twelve hours of shows on my laptop
and worked for a half hour by attending a team
huddle and staying on mute. What hasn't worked for a year?
Watch his stuff on his laptop and goes to a
(05:05):
zoom call and got his job. Still got his job.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Oh, how do I get that job? That'd be so boring? No,
I'm sorry. Oh oh oh, no boring. I love that way.
It'd be awful, awful, awful great.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I'm forty and my parents have no idea that I
never actually graduated from college. I went for almost six years,
never really felt like I knew what I was doing.
School wasn't hard for me, but I just didn't didn't
like it. My parents that were super obsessed with the
idea that you need a degree to get a good job.
Ton of pressure. So I graduated in a winter semester
(05:41):
and decided not to walk the stage since the December
ceremony was always pretty small, and I knew that they
wouldn't think that was weird. Now I have a good
job with a company. It focuses on hiring people based
on experience, but they still don't know that I didn't graduate.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
There are so many people that put down. They graduated
on their resumes. Yes, but they're like twelve hours short
or not even that. They're six hours their two classes
short of graduating. But they just got a job. They
went off in the world and I didn't finish. I
just didn't finish. And guess what that's okay, Yes it is.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
When I got fired from rock radio on the air,
by the grace of God, I expressed interest in sales
sho advertising because I wanted to supplement my income. I
wound up in sales. You're supposed to have.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
A college degree, and you loved it at first.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I didn't mind it a light. But my point is,
you were supposed to have a college degree. It's one
of the requirements. Okay, but get the but you're good
at it though. One of the one of the requirements
was you had to have a college degree within the
first year. I had zero list. I won the President's Club.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I had a heart attack, and your fat asshole stressed
and hated John right, not justice.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I was always yelling had that oh oh god.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Dude, staying on your shore. Gosh.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
People sharing their secrets on Reddit. My fifty four year
old secret would ruin several lives. My childhood best friend's
little brother is actually my son, and his children are
my grandchildren. Wait up, what my childhood best friends little
(07:30):
brother is actually my son and his children are my grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
So she slept with her best friend's dad.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I think that's it.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
And then gay birth. No, that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I know there's gotta be more information.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It makes sense. That doesn't make sense. Childhood best friends
little brother, they all know it, except for the best friend.
They're like, well there's just a baby. No, this doesn't
make sense. That's weird. Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I was at a party for my nephew's birthday and
really had to go. I noticed they had a basement bathroom,
so while the cake was being served, I dropped a
deuce that could peel paint. Oh I was able to
sneak in and out without anybody noticing. Fast forward after
the party and my sister in law and brother in
law were complaining about how two other family members clogged
(08:20):
the upstairs bathroom and stunk up the basement. They said
the smell lasted for days and had to be professionally cleaned.
To this day, they still blame the other couple, cause
you never forget that. Oh man, oh my lord, that
is most fowl ink. The cookies I bought for the
(08:41):
company picnic were store bought from a small bakery in town.
I put them in my tupperware. See you in Hell?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, no, what to do? Look? I know for a
fact that people buy lots of pasta, the big trays
of lasagna. Tak it out, they make it, take it out,
put it in another pan, and they're like, oh, I
made this maybe, what do you think of the lasagna?
There's lots of pasta lasagna.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
And with the holidays coming up, those family sized entrees
will keep you out of the kitchen yep, and keep
bellies full.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
And technically if you just take the top off the
with the label on it, it comes in that aluminum
thing that you buy Kroger. Anyway, you could say you
made it yourself. Anyway, So no, no, I made it.
What do you think.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Butternut squash ravioli and pumpkin ravioli?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
While it going lasting today?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Will it lasts? Lots of pasta? Louisville dot Com have
lunch in the coffee shop. The story that everybody thinks
they know is my boyfriend and I voluntarily left our
place of work because our relationship went against the policy
and we valued our relationship more than our jobs. Truth is,
we got caught screwing in my car before working. Left
to avoid repercussions.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Oh uh so I remember. Wow, Look when you're fishing
off the company doc. Sometimes it works.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Out for like twice, that's how it landed.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
We landed right, But most of the time it ends
in ruin of everyone's lives. So let's try not to
do that.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
It makes it, uh makes it quite awkward during the
work day.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Sure, break up? Yeah, yeah, I bet. Okay, here's what
it needs. A flow chart.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
So my childhood friend has two siblings that he doesn't
know exists. They're twins about two now. No, I promised
to keep it a secret. My dad and his dad
are close friends. Now my dad is quite the gossip
and spilled every last detail to me. Apparently their father, handsome,
tall sports prodigy, slept with the doctor who lied about
(10:32):
being on birth control so that she could have his kids.
Oh my lord, because of their superior genetics.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
She was his former doctor who pulled up his private
records in order to score a date with him. So
she got his contact info. She never wanted child support
or a dad in the kids' lives. She just wanted
a donor. Well, guess what that's that heart song. Let's yeah,
let's flip pernically, let's flip that. Make it a male
doctor stalking the girl did all this stuff. Oh yeah,
(11:00):
he's in prison. He's in prison. If that happened in
the prison.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Of love, I'm a prisoner of love, prisoner of love.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I've trapped you to prison of love. We're writing the
song be out next week, and I need you to
bail me out, honey, bail me out.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
I play most video games on easy mode, and I
brag about how I'm so good to my wife, who
doesn't know about games.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
That is so that's so today, it's so nerdy.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Look, I'm on level seventy five, Babe, what'dy'all do last weekend?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That's your deep dark secret again? I got forty seven
thousand on We don't even know what the game is.
Oh what what level?
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Are you? On?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Level level seven?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
He took the time I wanted.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
What if she goes to worgo? Yeah? You know what
my husband's on right right?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's all this question and thought, I
have a good one.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I have a good one lying about my high score?
Are you serious? Are you seven years old?
Speaker 3 (12:07):
About eleven years ago, I contacted my estranged father. We'd
become a strange due to the fact that he abused
my older sister when we were kids. We sent some
emails back and forth, and I lied that I was
doing a college degree thing and needed help with tuition.
He must have sent me about fifty grand, and three
years he found out it was a lie as he
emailed the school looking for some tax documents. I blocked
(12:28):
him and never spoke to him again. Good for her,
he never never paid child support.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
So I feel justified in scamming him. Absolutely, That is justification,
my friend. He just feel a little bit better and poor.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
And here's the thing though, might want to split it
with the little sister, the one that actually got abused. Yeah,
you would think. I don't know what they did with
the money of it. I scammed dad. Here's twenty five k. Yeah, right,
that would have been my first thought. Hey, scam dad,
I'm gonna share this with my little sister that actually
(13:01):
got abused.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I don't know if she did or not. What I
don't know if she shared.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It or not. Oh no, I bobtably. She probably didn't.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Let's see, let me see if it was spread between me,
my siblings, and my mom when we were in financial difficulties.
I played it off as winning big at the casino. Okay,
there's more details.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
She shared it. That's the idea. That's the idea.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
This one's not going to surprise anybody. Everyone knows that
boss that has a banana. In the briefcase, I worked
as a personal assistant to a CEO of a massive,
multimillion dollar software company. My boss doesn't even know how
to convert a document to PDF.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
There are a lot of bosses like that. They get
I don't know how they get their jobs, but they
don't have to know the PDF, right, They've always had
an assistant. Could you get this up and distribute it
to the team.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
I mean, you know, yeah, they delegate management.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
All the kids out there. Get to management as fast
as you can. Do not stay with boots on the ground. Oh,
do not do sales guy, boots on the ground, get
to management, all right, get there.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
One more secrets revealed that time in the early eighties
when I solved my Rubik's cube.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
What was your time?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
I actually just peeled off all the stickers and put
them back on an order.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I didn't do that. I pulled the quars off till
you did not. That never gave me any interesting.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I could get three sides at one point. Now, I
don't see how people just do it and it's done.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
No, no, no, I've you've seen it done in four seconds.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
There's a solution out there.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah you can do it. Yeah, yeah, that's that's great.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Can I tell my uh? Yeah, we're good now jo
secret never told secret story? Yeah, go ahead, Oh here
we go.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Get off your chest, man.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I got cleaned up the best I can. So you
substitute what I say and make it dirtier.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Oh, so reporter is uh interviewing one hundred and ten
year old man and she goes, I'm here with such
and such. He's one hundred and ten years old, sir.
What's your secret? Hey said, well, I once made love
to another man behind a dumpster for a wristwatch. And
she goes, no, no, no, you're secret to life.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Hey, I gotta talk about bargain supply again. East Jefferson Street.
I love Todd and all the guys over there, they've
been there forever. Bargain Supply has their own parking lot.
You drive up East Jefferson Park, right there, a huge
parking lot. They deliver. They'll take the old one away.
The appliances are amazing, brand new appliances you can't find
anywhere else. Their specialties were ge because you know, you
(15:37):
buy here, you make them here, you sew them here.
But Bargain Supply is the best, been around for like
one hundred years, dude, and they have the experience. Here's
a dude deal. Just take the measurements before you go,
and they're gonna they're gonna get you taken care of.
Scratching dent is the best. I have several scratching dent
from Bargain Supply. So we bought a refrigerator and had
a scratch on a scratch on the side. When you
(15:57):
fit your refrigerator in the space, you don't see the
sides of the refrigerator anyway. I saved hundreds of dollars
on that. Go to Bargain Supply and they have Halloween
and Christmas decorations that are way cheaper than the other place.
Check them out. Bargains supply. Uh he just left, but
go to Uh that's okay, we'll cover it later. Okay,
(16:19):
I got you. News Radio eight forty WHNS.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
So just David Lee Ross solo stuff. It is crazy,
just like Paradise. Yeah yeah, just not Oh yeah, oh
how was my version? You like it? I'm gonna sound
really good on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
It's gonna sound great.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
News Radio eight forty w h as. It's welcome back
Tony Venetti Day. He's labeling everything in the kitchen if
it's heart smart or not.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Oh boy, it's got annoying.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Man.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It's not like Tony to tell us what to eat.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
No, hey, I want to bring in one of my
dear friends, Mau with the hog Fathers. We're talking Holiday
meets Baby. Oh wait a minute, band name Holiday Meets?
Maybe maybe maybe your MIC's not that's.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
The album a good point or the backup band? Something
in the Holiday meets? Yeah you log and the Holiday means.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Think the Philadelphia Eagles did a Christmas album every year?
The offensive Lineman. I think the hog Fathers should do
Holiday meets and sing about their work.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I agree? Are you up for the challenge mouth.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
To sing?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
You're no, I'm just not right now.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Christmas album with the hog Father.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Saw there's Christmas record, the hog.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Father's Christmas Album, and you guys will be like flu
to the loom. Everybody's a different meat.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
It's like a kayak.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
Bobby the Brisket, a chicken drummer, turkey drum and got
meat love Now, Bobby.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
The Brisket, I'm gonna sing AT's sing a love song
because I'm so tender.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
All right? What the hell are talking about?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Master's supply. One of the things not only does a
hog Father's cook some of the best damn barbecue you're
ever gonna have, but they also show you how you
can do it at home. Everybody I know that's gone
to these classes, they keep signing up and keep going
back because well, you learn a lot and you can
impress your friends.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Another another class going on this weekend right now.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
Yep, we're doing the Holiday Meats class us where we're
going to teach people how to make the juiciest, tastiest
turkey they've ever had. You know how turkey tends to
be a.
Speaker 7 (19:09):
Little dry, especially in the in the white meat part
of Not this turkey, Not this turkey. It is wet,
it is.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Moist, moist it is. It ain't no jove turkey, it.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Ain't no joz. That's show.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Wait wait a minute, could two of the female back
singers be wet and succulent?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
No, you can't. You're a dirty boy. You need to
go to confession.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
All right, Okay, what so we know turkey is going
to be on the menu. What else is on the
menu for holiday meats?
Speaker 7 (19:46):
We're going to do an apple bourbon glazed pork loin that.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Again Peter pork, Peter pork loin. And people tend to
think that pork loin is dry, not this one. And
it is succulent, it is juicy, and it.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Is moist, really pushing.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
How many how they meets? You're gonna be uh uh?
How many how they meets? Are you? Are you gonna
be cooking Harry.
Speaker 7 (20:20):
The ham and and no ham, no ham.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
We're gonna do a tenderloin that is gonna be covered
with fresh horse radish and black pepper and roasted and
cooked to medium rare, again moist, succulent, delicious.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Okay, now now you're one of them. Okay, now you're
one of the Stop it, do I just stop it?
Grow up talking about cooking here, Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
How do you describe a delicious cake?
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Moist?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Thank you and wet? Hey now, uh, Tony has a question. Hey,
now I have a question. How many of these meats
a hot? Smart? As I had a boo boo on
my heart?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Thank you man?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Ton So okay, seriously, though, give the rundown on every
every meat that's going You're going to be teaching how
to cook and how to sign up.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Yeah, okay, So we're gonna be doing on turkey.
Speaker 7 (21:31):
We're going to be doing a tenderloin, beef tenderloin, and
we're going to be doing a pork loin. Those are
the three meats. We're going to have an apple bourbon
glaze for the pork loin, the and and actually you
can use the apple bourbon glaze on the turkey as well.
Set The class is Saturday, this Saturday the twelve, from
(21:54):
ten to two, and it's ninety dollars and I think
grill Master's Supply even gives you a ten dollars gift
card that you can use to buy any of the
rubs and sauces that we'll use at during the class.
So we'd love to have as many of you come
(22:16):
out as you can and have a good time. And
as they say in Louisiana, come pass a good time
with us.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yeah, but go ahead and sign up today, right, go ahead?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Uh, sign up today?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
They sign up again.
Speaker 8 (22:33):
Oh, you can go to the Hogfathers bbq dot com,
The Hoogfathers bbq dot com and just click on the
Holiday Meets link on that homepage and I'll take you
to the sign up page.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Now, thanks for the time, Hogfathers, will see you down
the road, amigo. You brother, absolutely take care.
Speaker 8 (22:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Uh my name is Tony the tendon Lund and we
are the they meet.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
Welcome to the shoe. Well, Japan, they've invented a glass.
I remember one time I came up with a magic
trick better than Lance Burton. It was called the Disappearing Pinky.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
And boy did miss Wayne love it. Thank you story.
Could you seriously come in here? What I'm doing?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
What they invent in Japan?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Well, in Japan, they vented a glass that makes you
drink slower?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Who want that? Who would want this?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Well? Maybe you is? He is, the doctor tells Tony Vinetti. Okay,
when it comes to wine, one for women, two for men,
he goes, what bottles.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
No, my wife actually Jackie said that. So we're sitting
there talking and she goes and jack Jaggy goes about alcohol,
and he goes, well, one for women and two for
men because bodywaighting all that in physiology. And she goes bottle.
He goes, no, glass, Jackie glass.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
When we get in the southern covered hot tub, we
pour number one tequila. Yes, we used to go with singles.
Then we moved the doubles. Yeah, about a year ago.
He said, who he kid, just pour me a triple. Yeah,
so I'm already over on my first drink. In Japan,
they made a glass that resembles an hour glass. It's
opening one end when when it's filled with let's say beer,
(24:36):
and your hoist saki or saki, the top half will
go right in your mouth, but the bottom of the
half will slowly release and the last half of the
beverage has to go through the smaller passage in the
middle of the idea is to make it take longer
for someone to enjoy a drink.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Thereby, this sounds like something I would break right thirty
You receive it as a gift and you look at
the person and go.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Why do you hate it?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
What you're doing to me?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Why do you do this? What do you why do
you hate me?
Speaker 1 (25:06):
What is you an idiot? Well? Since the eighteenth century,
unions have been there to protect the rights of workers.
Now there's another group of employees that are looking for
union representation. They got it. The group is the Chippendales.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Wait a minute, first of all, are they still around?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
They're still around? Still a thing? Hey, okay, hey, my
contract clearly says that I only have to do fourteen
winniflops in one night. Okay, it's fifteen.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
But here's the thing. You have a union, so can
you gain little weight? And union's gonna back yet?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Well, let's let's get to that. Okay, all right, So
Chippindale's unionized. About two dozen castmen members unionized with the
Troop at Rio all Swite's Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.
They voted to join the Actors Equity Association and the
paper Work with Labor Boards. The move was made citing
(26:07):
a higher cost of living, a better sense of job security,
workplace safety, accountability and benefits. Nothing on there about the war.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Here's here's here's what I would say. I think they
have a better case than the baristas.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Hey, I mean, sir, if you could bear with us,
you know how hard it is to make coffee.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
You just you asked for a macachina. My contract states
I have fifteen minutes to over that I tend to
use every minute. That's fifteen.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I mean at least of the chimpendhils. You have to
keep in certain shape. You have to look amazing. You know,
you have to get naked. I mean that's a that's
a that's a price to pay. I mean, baristas, you're
pouring a cup of coffee takes three seconds to learn.
I think they have been Uh, those machines are hard.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
It says the novice that's never had to pour a
couple of car solve some problems.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I saw this when I thought of Dwight. I like,
dear Squatchy. Here we go.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
This is dear Squatchy. Elliott writes in Hi, Elliott, thanks
for listening. How can I convince my mom to get
rid of the old pictures of fat me? I've dropped
over one hundred and fifty pounds and have worked hard
to get my body and mind right after years of neglect.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
However, where's your husky section.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Every time I go to her house, it's plastered with
pictures of the old me and none of the man
that I am today. It makes me not want to
go over there. Mom won't take him down and says
they should make me proud to see how far I've
come and how I've changed. The problem is there are
no updated pictures, and seeing all of them makes me
digress into a negative headspace, which in turn makes me
(27:54):
not want to visit. I know it's my issue, but
how can I convince her to change?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
It's easy? Do you want me go first? Simple fixs.
All you gotta do is uh take You get to
get a photoshop for your computer. It's an easy enough
program to work on. You get photoshop, Then you get
headshots of your mother and you put them on disgustingly
obese nude women. You make pictures like that and you
(28:20):
put them all through your house, and then when she
comes over, say, oh, does that make you uncomfortable?
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I think that was Tony's answer to.
Speaker 7 (28:29):
That.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Would be mine to say, Okay, find the worst pictures
of her and put them all over your house and
do uh and do it back. But here's the thing,
So one thing. Let's dive into why she won't put
the new ones up? Does she love the fat Dwight
more than she likes the skinny So let's let's think
about this. So why does she love you more then
(28:51):
than she does now?
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Like?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
What is she doing?
Speaker 3 (28:53):
She doesn't think he's going to keep the weight off?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Why swamp out the pictures so you're just gonna be
fat again?
Speaker 1 (29:00):
If you look at our wedding pictures, it looks like
my wife married John Goodman, only not as attractive John Goodman.
And she keeps these damn things up in the house.
I just tell people it's her first husband. Yeah, it
looks nothing like me. I've got a buzz cut, I've
got a go tea out of beard.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Here's the other thing. No you are, it's not even you.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
She showed me a picture the other night, because it's
not even this week. We're supposed to be in Cobbos
and Lucas.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Yeah, you haven't remind us of that at all.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
So on our Facebook, on our Facebook feeds every day
going back for ten years.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Oh, they're popping out, they're popping up.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
She showed me one from like eight years ago, nine
years ago.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Whatever, you're huge.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
It just so fa my shirt off.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Oh yeah, and she's in a string bikini, and it's like,
how did this happen?
Speaker 3 (29:46):
He must be rich, he must be loaded, he must
be nope down, nope, no matter.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
He must be drugging her on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Well it might be something to that, Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
The other thing is I think, first of all, how
many people could go over to your mom's house.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Well, you're that postman, the ups guy.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
I mean seriously, I mean how many people get down there? Right?
And then just say, Mom, guess what, I love you
so much until you get rid of these fat pictures.
It bothers me a lot. I'm not coming over. So
if that's not enough for her, and then now you're
gonna find out what a psychosis or her problem in
her headspace is when you say, Mom, I hate that
(30:27):
fat person. That's the way I am, and it's driving
me to be healthier. I hate these pictures. And if
this is what you're gonna leave in your house, I'm
not coming over your house. I'll meet you. I'll meet
you someplace or whatever. You want to go to lunch,
We're gonna do that, because I'm gonna eat healthy, not
like the fat kid apparently more. Do you love the.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Fat guy more?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Or do you love the new and improved? Is that
what you do? Is that what you want.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Is your meat succulent? Is your cake suculent and moist?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
She said succulent ten times?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I know, am I the only one that got turned
on when he was saying succulent.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
But yes that he did kind of slow down.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
He did say succulent.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Emphasis on the U lin succubist.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Succubis is a ghost? Oh has sex with guys? Now
a uh no, no, no, yeah, it is the one
that has girls. U sex with girls as an incubus.
Ah ah, you got scubas an incubus. But that's what
they do.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Do you think when you turn into a ghost you
stay gay or straight?
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
If you're gay in real life, are you a gay ghost?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
No, because ghosts don't see genders as admirable. They do
see succulency though. That's the one thing that Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Uh, so there you go. I think mom screwed up
in the head. I think so. I think that. Hey,
by the way, why do you think you were fat? Bro?
She was missing?
Speaker 3 (31:54):
She made you fat? So you never leave the house
you never meet a woman, so you never grow up bingo,
and now you left, she's she's pissed.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Dude. I still think the backup singers need to be
named wet and succulent.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
You just can't let it.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I just it's a perfect name.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Just can't let it go.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
When do you do the band intros?
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah? You know Elin and Elin five nine nine twenty
eight hundred five nine nine twenty eight hundred. Call that number.
They'll sell your house for one percent commission rate. Keep
the equity in your home. The house is gonna sell.
It's the average of Jefferson County six six days, six
and a half days. That's that's the length your house
will stay on for sale. Right it'll sell for the
(32:29):
price you want. Keep the money in your pocket. One
percent commission rate Etlin dot com or five eight hundred.
Pick up the phone right now. Make a ton of
money off your house. Back after this on news Radio
eight forty whas
Look, all I'm saying is you had no right to
throw my pop tarts away. They were my pop tarts.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
No, listen to me very carefully. We're changing that diet.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
No, we're not.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Man, Listen, your pop tarts are gonna kill you and
I can't allow that to happen.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Quit saying stupid stuff like is that heart smart? Because
it's none of your business.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Is it heart smart?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Well pop tart? Listen to this man? Okay, hell is
this pop tart rhymes with heart smart?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
No, it's not. How good. Dave, I met this little bee. Yeah,
and this bee was He went, that's the honey and
he said, he said, cheerios, Dude, it's hard healthy. And
I went and bought cheerios from.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Kroger and they tastes like sand.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
This mass the bee. The bee is setting you up.
Have you ever read the ingredients on cheerios? Man?
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
David le Ross's birthday.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Oh okay, how old? How old? No? Really, it's just
it's James.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
It was just an aer What a weirdo.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
He looks like by the way, he looks like if
Niles Crane from Fraser and Doctor Smith from A Lost
in Space made love the baby would look just like
Heavely Roth.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Now you know, here's the thing. You don't know these people.
You think, look, nobody was cooler from eighty two to
eighty sixty two and a half, you know, from in
nineteen eighty two and eighty six. Then then uh right, yeah,
but then you find out that Van Halen brothers are
complete nerds and weirdos, and so is David Lee Roth.
(01:41):
I'd like to see him.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Trying to do that kick that he used to do. Now, no,
he still doesn't.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
And by the way, you know he's still really absolutely
and by the way, stole his entire act.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Jim Dandy, Jim Dandy. It's it's not even It's like
he went and just took every from that everything from
the top down from him him. Come on, nuh, I
have a list.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
You got a list, list.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Little secrets. Let's do the list was bad Tony Venetti
when I was out having a heart attack because this show.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Hey, when I see your sister, it makes my heart
go put a pet And sometimes when I see your sister,
she gives me a heart attack.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I sent you a picture of my robe. I brought
my own robe to the hospital. I saw that this
silk robe blue.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Out of the growing up. I used to be a baker.
Now I got a clog.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
We do maka, thank you, thank you, bad Tony. What
is the list, sir?
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Of course it comes from rad At the quote or
I'm sorry the question what is the secret that you
can't tell anyone because it will probably ruin your life?
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Oh my god, Oh my gosh. No, let's do let's
do a fifth the joke in a second. Guess I
think this list might be interesting.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
I don't know why this would ruin your life, but
at Christmas, my family loves my homemade eggnog. It's just
high end store bought eggnog, and I put a couple
of tiny pieces of eggshell in it to make it
look like I missed a call when I strained it.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Fantastic you and so many Oh that's not a ruin
your life, that now, Dave. We did this on the
Morning show twenty something years ago. A person called in
and he was very He's like, okay, I killed somebody.
And we were like, okay, how did you kill somebody?
Who was like he was did this to my daughter?
(03:38):
And uh And I told him a school get a beer.
He shot him in his car or something like that. Wow,
I was like, he he told so many details. I
was like, I think that caller.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Was We did give us confessions, right, you.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Like this one.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
I have a bad back and from time to time
it goes into full on spasm. One day, I was
getting out of bed and as my foot hit the
floor spasm. I have no idea how, but a perfectly
formed poop fell out of the leg of my shorts
and landed on the floor. Due to my spasm, I
fell and landed on the poop. The commotion woke up
(04:16):
my girlfriend at the time, and she ran to check
on me. I blamed it on the dog.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I was so surprised.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
I thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
That is dependent on the girlfriend. It's a good call.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yeah, I had a spasm and lucky look what he did?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Really because it smells like human poop? Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Is there a difference between human poop smell and dog poop? Yes,
ladies and gentlemen. Add to his repertoire, Tony VINEDI poop connoisseur.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Yes, poop a sore secrets. I stopped working about a
year ago. I have no idea what they want from me.
Because I watched twelve hours of shows on my laptop
and worked for a half hour by attending a team
huddle and staying on mute. What hasn't worked for a year?
Watch his stuff on his laptop and goes to a
(05:05):
zoom call and got his job. Still got his job.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Oh, how do I get that job? That'd be so boring? No,
I'm sorry. Oh oh oh, no boring. I love that way.
It'd be awful, awful, awful great.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I'm forty and my parents have no idea that I
never actually graduated from college. I went for almost six years,
never really felt like I knew what I was doing.
School wasn't hard for me, but I just didn't didn't
like it. My parents that were super obsessed with the
idea that you need a degree to get a good job.
Ton of pressure. So I graduated in a winter semester
(05:41):
and decided not to walk the stage since the December
ceremony was always pretty small, and I knew that they
wouldn't think that was weird. Now I have a good
job with a company. It focuses on hiring people based
on experience, but they still don't know that I didn't graduate.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
There are so many people that put down. They graduated
on their resumes. Yes, but they're like twelve hours short
or not even that. They're six hours their two classes
short of graduating. But they just got a job. They
went off in the world and I didn't finish. I
just didn't finish. And guess what that's okay, Yes it is.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
When I got fired from rock radio on the air,
by the grace of God, I expressed interest in sales
sho advertising because I wanted to supplement my income. I
wound up in sales. You're supposed to have.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
A college degree, and you loved it at first.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I didn't mind it a light. But my point is,
you were supposed to have a college degree. It's one
of the requirements. Okay, but get the but you're good
at it though. One of the one of the requirements
was you had to have a college degree within the
first year. I had zero list. I won the President's Club.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
I had a heart attack, and your fat asshole stressed
and hated John right, not justice.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
I was always yelling had that oh oh god.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Dude, staying on your shore. Gosh.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
People sharing their secrets on Reddit. My fifty four year
old secret would ruin several lives. My childhood best friend's
little brother is actually my son, and his children are
my grandchildren. Wait up, what my childhood best friends little
(07:30):
brother is actually my son and his children are my grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
So she slept with her best friend's dad.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I think that's it.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
And then gay birth. No, that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I know there's gotta be more information.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It makes sense. That doesn't make sense. Childhood best friends
little brother, they all know it, except for the best friend.
They're like, well there's just a baby. No, this doesn't
make sense. That's weird. Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
I was at a party for my nephew's birthday and
really had to go. I noticed they had a basement bathroom,
so while the cake was being served, I dropped a
deuce that could peel paint. Oh I was able to
sneak in and out without anybody noticing. Fast forward after
the party and my sister in law and brother in
law were complaining about how two other family members clogged
(08:20):
the upstairs bathroom and stunk up the basement. They said
the smell lasted for days and had to be professionally cleaned.
To this day, they still blame the other couple, cause
you never forget that. Oh man, oh my lord, that
is most fowl ink. The cookies I bought for the
(08:41):
company picnic were store bought from a small bakery in town.
I put them in my tupperware. See you in Hell?
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, no, what to do? Look? I know for a
fact that people buy lots of pasta, the big trays
of lasagna. Tak it out, they make it, take it out,
put it in another pan, and they're like, oh, I
made this maybe, what do you think of the lasagna?
There's lots of pasta lasagna.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
And with the holidays coming up, those family sized entrees
will keep you out of the kitchen yep, and keep
bellies full.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
And technically if you just take the top off the
with the label on it, it comes in that aluminum
thing that you buy Kroger. Anyway, you could say you
made it yourself. Anyway, So no, no, I made it.
What do you think.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Butternut squash ravioli and pumpkin ravioli?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (09:25):
While it going lasting today?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Will it lasts? Lots of pasta? Louisville dot Com have
lunch in the coffee shop. The story that everybody thinks
they know is my boyfriend and I voluntarily left our
place of work because our relationship went against the policy
and we valued our relationship more than our jobs. Truth is,
we got caught screwing in my car before working. Left
to avoid repercussions.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Oh uh so I remember. Wow, Look when you're fishing
off the company doc. Sometimes it works.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Out for like twice, that's how it landed.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
We landed right, But most of the time it ends
in ruin of everyone's lives. So let's try not to
do that.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
It makes it, uh makes it quite awkward during the
work day.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Sure, break up? Yeah, yeah, I bet. Okay, here's what
it needs. A flow chart.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
So my childhood friend has two siblings that he doesn't
know exists. They're twins about two now. No, I promised
to keep it a secret. My dad and his dad
are close friends. Now my dad is quite the gossip
and spilled every last detail to me. Apparently their father, handsome,
tall sports prodigy, slept with the doctor who lied about
(10:32):
being on birth control so that she could have his kids.
Oh my lord, because of their superior genetics.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
She was his former doctor who pulled up his private
records in order to score a date with him. So
she got his contact info. She never wanted child support
or a dad in the kids' lives. She just wanted
a donor. Well, guess what that's that heart song. Let's yeah,
let's flip pernically, let's flip that. Make it a male
doctor stalking the girl did all this stuff. Oh yeah,
(11:00):
he's in prison. He's in prison. If that happened in
the prison.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Of love, I'm a prisoner of love, prisoner of love.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I've trapped you to prison of love. We're writing the
song be out next week, and I need you to
bail me out, honey, bail me out.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
I play most video games on easy mode, and I
brag about how I'm so good to my wife, who
doesn't know about games.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
That is so that's so today, it's so nerdy.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Look, I'm on level seventy five, Babe, what'dy'all do last weekend?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That's your deep dark secret again? I got forty seven
thousand on We don't even know what the game is.
Oh what what level?
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Are you? On?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Level level seven?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
He took the time I wanted.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
What if she goes to worgo? Yeah? You know what
my husband's on right right?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's all this question and thought, I
have a good one.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I have a good one lying about my high score?
Are you serious? Are you seven years old?
Speaker 3 (12:07):
About eleven years ago, I contacted my estranged father. We'd
become a strange due to the fact that he abused
my older sister when we were kids. We sent some
emails back and forth, and I lied that I was
doing a college degree thing and needed help with tuition.
He must have sent me about fifty grand, and three
years he found out it was a lie as he
emailed the school looking for some tax documents. I blocked
(12:28):
him and never spoke to him again. Good for her,
he never never paid child support.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
So I feel justified in scamming him. Absolutely, That is justification,
my friend. He just feel a little bit better and poor.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
And here's the thing though, might want to split it
with the little sister, the one that actually got abused. Yeah,
you would think. I don't know what they did with
the money of it. I scammed dad. Here's twenty five k. Yeah, right,
that would have been my first thought. Hey, scam dad,
I'm gonna share this with my little sister that actually
(13:01):
got abused.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I don't know if she did or not. What I
don't know if she shared.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It or not. Oh no, I bobtably. She probably didn't.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Let's see, let me see if it was spread between me,
my siblings, and my mom when we were in financial difficulties.
I played it off as winning big at the casino. Okay,
there's more details.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
She shared it. That's the idea. That's the idea.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
This one's not going to surprise anybody. Everyone knows that
boss that has a banana. In the briefcase, I worked
as a personal assistant to a CEO of a massive,
multimillion dollar software company. My boss doesn't even know how
to convert a document to PDF.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
There are a lot of bosses like that. They get
I don't know how they get their jobs, but they
don't have to know the PDF, right, They've always had
an assistant. Could you get this up and distribute it
to the team.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
I mean, you know, yeah, they delegate management.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
All the kids out there. Get to management as fast
as you can. Do not stay with boots on the ground. Oh,
do not do sales guy, boots on the ground, get
to management, all right, get there.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
One more secrets revealed that time in the early eighties
when I solved my Rubik's cube.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
What was your time?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
I actually just peeled off all the stickers and put
them back on an order.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I didn't do that. I pulled the quars off till
you did not. That never gave me any interesting.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
I could get three sides at one point. Now, I
don't see how people just do it and it's done.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
No, no, no, I've you've seen it done in four seconds.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
There's a solution out there.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah you can do it. Yeah, yeah, that's that's great.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Can I tell my uh? Yeah, we're good now jo
secret never told secret story? Yeah, go ahead, Oh here
we go.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Get off your chest, man.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I got cleaned up the best I can. So you
substitute what I say and make it dirtier.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Oh, so reporter is uh interviewing one hundred and ten
year old man and she goes, I'm here with such
and such. He's one hundred and ten years old, sir.
What's your secret? Hey said, well, I once made love
to another man behind a dumpster for a wristwatch. And
she goes, no, no, no, you're secret to life.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Hey, I gotta talk about bargain supply again. East Jefferson Street.
I love Todd and all the guys over there, they've
been there forever. Bargain Supply has their own parking lot.
You drive up East Jefferson Park, right there, a huge
parking lot. They deliver. They'll take the old one away.
The appliances are amazing, brand new appliances you can't find
anywhere else. Their specialties were ge because you know, you
(15:37):
buy here, you make them here, you sew them here.
But Bargain Supply is the best, been around for like
one hundred years, dude, and they have the experience. Here's
a dude deal. Just take the measurements before you go,
and they're gonna they're gonna get you taken care of.
Scratching dent is the best. I have several scratching dent
from Bargain Supply. So we bought a refrigerator and had
a scratch on a scratch on the side. When you
(15:57):
fit your refrigerator in the space, you don't see the
sides of the refrigerator anyway. I saved hundreds of dollars
on that. Go to Bargain Supply and they have Halloween
and Christmas decorations that are way cheaper than the other place.
Check them out. Bargains supply. Uh he just left, but
go to Uh that's okay, we'll cover it later. Okay,
(16:19):
I got you. News Radio eight forty WHNS.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
So just David Lee Ross solo stuff. It is crazy,
just like Paradise. Yeah yeah, just not Oh yeah, oh
how was my version? You like it? I'm gonna sound
really good on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
It's gonna sound great.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
News Radio eight forty w h as. It's welcome back
Tony Venetti Day. He's labeling everything in the kitchen if
it's heart smart or not.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Oh boy, it's got annoying.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Man.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
It's not like Tony to tell us what to eat.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
No, hey, I want to bring in one of my
dear friends, Mau with the hog Fathers. We're talking Holiday
meets Baby. Oh wait a minute, band name Holiday Meets?
Maybe maybe maybe your MIC's not that's.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
The album a good point or the backup band? Something
in the Holiday meets? Yeah you log and the Holiday means.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Think the Philadelphia Eagles did a Christmas album every year?
The offensive Lineman. I think the hog Fathers should do
Holiday meets and sing about their work.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I agree? Are you up for the challenge mouth.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
To sing?
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
You're no, I'm just not right now.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Christmas album with the hog Father.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Saw there's Christmas record, the hog.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Father's Christmas Album, and you guys will be like flu
to the loom. Everybody's a different meat.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
It's like a kayak.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
Bobby the Brisket, a chicken drummer, turkey drum and got
meat love Now, Bobby.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
The Brisket, I'm gonna sing AT's sing a love song
because I'm so tender.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
All right? What the hell are talking about?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Master's supply. One of the things not only does a
hog Father's cook some of the best damn barbecue you're
ever gonna have, but they also show you how you
can do it at home. Everybody I know that's gone
to these classes, they keep signing up and keep going
back because well, you learn a lot and you can
impress your friends.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Another another class going on this weekend right now.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
Yep, we're doing the Holiday Meats class us where we're
going to teach people how to make the juiciest, tastiest
turkey they've ever had. You know how turkey tends to
be a.
Speaker 7 (19:09):
Little dry, especially in the in the white meat part
of Not this turkey, Not this turkey. It is wet,
it is.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Moist, moist it is. It ain't no jove turkey, it.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
Ain't no joz. That's show.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Wait wait a minute, could two of the female back
singers be wet and succulent?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
No, you can't. You're a dirty boy. You need to
go to confession.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
All right, Okay, what so we know turkey is going
to be on the menu. What else is on the
menu for holiday meats?
Speaker 7 (19:46):
We're going to do an apple bourbon glazed pork loin that.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Again Peter pork, Peter pork loin. And people tend to
think that pork loin is dry, not this one. And
it is succulent, it is juicy, and it.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Is moist, really pushing.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
How many how they meets? You're gonna be uh uh?
How many how they meets? Are you? Are you gonna
be cooking Harry.
Speaker 7 (20:20):
The ham and and no ham, no ham.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
We're gonna do a tenderloin that is gonna be covered
with fresh horse radish and black pepper and roasted and
cooked to medium rare, again moist, succulent, delicious.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Okay, now now you're one of them. Okay, now you're
one of the Stop it, do I just stop it?
Grow up talking about cooking here, Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
How do you describe a delicious cake?
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Moist?
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Thank you and wet? Hey now, uh, Tony has a question. Hey,
now I have a question. How many of these meats
a hot? Smart? As I had a boo boo on
my heart?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Thank you man?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Ton So okay, seriously, though, give the rundown on every
every meat that's going You're going to be teaching how
to cook and how to sign up.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Yeah, okay, So we're gonna be doing on turkey.
Speaker 7 (21:31):
We're going to be doing a tenderloin, beef tenderloin, and
we're going to be doing a pork loin. Those are
the three meats. We're going to have an apple bourbon
glaze for the pork loin, the and and actually you
can use the apple bourbon glaze on the turkey as well.
Set The class is Saturday, this Saturday the twelve, from
(21:54):
ten to two, and it's ninety dollars and I think
grill Master's Supply even gives you a ten dollars gift
card that you can use to buy any of the
rubs and sauces that we'll use at during the class.
So we'd love to have as many of you come
(22:16):
out as you can and have a good time. And
as they say in Louisiana, come pass a good time
with us.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Yeah, but go ahead and sign up today, right, go ahead?
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Uh, sign up today?
Speaker 1 (22:30):
They sign up again.
Speaker 8 (22:33):
Oh, you can go to the Hogfathers bbq dot com,
The Hoogfathers bbq dot com and just click on the
Holiday Meets link on that homepage and I'll take you
to the sign up page.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Now, thanks for the time, Hogfathers, will see you down
the road, amigo. You brother, absolutely take care.
Speaker 8 (22:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Uh my name is Tony the tendon Lund and we
are the they meet.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
Welcome to the shoe. Well, Japan, they've invented a glass.
I remember one time I came up with a magic
trick better than Lance Burton. It was called the Disappearing Pinky.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
And boy did miss Wayne love it. Thank you story.
Could you seriously come in here? What I'm doing?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
What they invent in Japan?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Well, in Japan, they vented a glass that makes you
drink slower?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Who want that? Who would want this?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Well? Maybe you is? He is, the doctor tells Tony Vinetti. Okay,
when it comes to wine, one for women, two for men,
he goes, what bottles.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
No, my wife actually Jackie said that. So we're sitting
there talking and she goes and jack Jaggy goes about alcohol,
and he goes, well, one for women and two for
men because bodywaighting all that in physiology. And she goes bottle.
He goes, no, glass, Jackie glass.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
When we get in the southern covered hot tub, we
pour number one tequila. Yes, we used to go with singles.
Then we moved the doubles. Yeah, about a year ago.
He said, who he kid, just pour me a triple. Yeah,
so I'm already over on my first drink. In Japan,
they made a glass that resembles an hour glass. It's
opening one end when when it's filled with let's say beer,
(24:36):
and your hoist saki or saki, the top half will
go right in your mouth, but the bottom of the
half will slowly release and the last half of the
beverage has to go through the smaller passage in the
middle of the idea is to make it take longer
for someone to enjoy a drink.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Thereby, this sounds like something I would break right thirty
You receive it as a gift and you look at
the person and go.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Why do you hate it?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
What you're doing to me?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Why do you do this? What do you why do
you hate me?
Speaker 1 (25:06):
What is you an idiot? Well? Since the eighteenth century,
unions have been there to protect the rights of workers.
Now there's another group of employees that are looking for
union representation. They got it. The group is the Chippendales.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Wait a minute, first of all, are they still around?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
They're still around? Still a thing? Hey, okay, hey, my
contract clearly says that I only have to do fourteen
winniflops in one night. Okay, it's fifteen.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
But here's the thing. You have a union, so can
you gain little weight? And union's gonna back yet?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Well, let's let's get to that. Okay, all right, So
Chippindale's unionized. About two dozen castmen members unionized with the
Troop at Rio all Swite's Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.
They voted to join the Actors Equity Association and the
paper Work with Labor Boards. The move was made citing
(26:07):
a higher cost of living, a better sense of job security,
workplace safety, accountability and benefits. Nothing on there about the war.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Here's here's here's what I would say. I think they
have a better case than the baristas.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Hey, I mean, sir, if you could bear with us,
you know how hard it is to make coffee.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
You just you asked for a macachina. My contract states
I have fifteen minutes to over that I tend to
use every minute. That's fifteen.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I mean at least of the chimpendhils. You have to
keep in certain shape. You have to look amazing. You know,
you have to get naked. I mean that's a that's
a that's a price to pay. I mean, baristas, you're
pouring a cup of coffee takes three seconds to learn.
I think they have been Uh, those machines are hard.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
It says the novice that's never had to pour a
couple of car solve some problems.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I saw this when I thought of Dwight. I like,
dear Squatchy. Here we go.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
This is dear Squatchy. Elliott writes in Hi, Elliott, thanks
for listening. How can I convince my mom to get
rid of the old pictures of fat me? I've dropped
over one hundred and fifty pounds and have worked hard
to get my body and mind right after years of neglect.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
However, where's your husky section.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Every time I go to her house, it's plastered with
pictures of the old me and none of the man
that I am today. It makes me not want to
go over there. Mom won't take him down and says
they should make me proud to see how far I've
come and how I've changed. The problem is there are
no updated pictures, and seeing all of them makes me
digress into a negative headspace, which in turn makes me
(27:54):
not want to visit. I know it's my issue, but
how can I convince her to change?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
It's easy? Do you want me go first? Simple fixs.
All you gotta do is uh take You get to
get a photoshop for your computer. It's an easy enough
program to work on. You get photoshop, Then you get
headshots of your mother and you put them on disgustingly
obese nude women. You make pictures like that and you
(28:20):
put them all through your house, and then when she
comes over, say, oh, does that make you uncomfortable?
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I think that was Tony's answer to.
Speaker 7 (28:29):
That.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Would be mine to say, Okay, find the worst pictures
of her and put them all over your house and
do uh and do it back. But here's the thing,
So one thing. Let's dive into why she won't put
the new ones up? Does she love the fat Dwight
more than she likes the skinny So let's let's think
about this. So why does she love you more then
(28:51):
than she does now?
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Like?
Speaker 2 (28:52):
What is she doing?
Speaker 3 (28:53):
She doesn't think he's going to keep the weight off?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Why swamp out the pictures so you're just gonna be
fat again?
Speaker 1 (29:00):
If you look at our wedding pictures, it looks like
my wife married John Goodman, only not as attractive John Goodman.
And she keeps these damn things up in the house.
I just tell people it's her first husband. Yeah, it
looks nothing like me. I've got a buzz cut, I've
got a go tea out of beard.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
Here's the other thing. No you are, it's not even you.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
She showed me a picture the other night, because it's
not even this week. We're supposed to be in Cobbos
and Lucas.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Yeah, you haven't remind us of that at all.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
So on our Facebook, on our Facebook feeds every day
going back for ten years.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Oh, they're popping out, they're popping up.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
She showed me one from like eight years ago, nine
years ago.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Whatever, you're huge.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
It just so fa my shirt off.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Oh yeah, and she's in a string bikini, and it's like,
how did this happen?
Speaker 3 (29:46):
He must be rich, he must be loaded, he must
be nope down, nope, no matter.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
He must be drugging her on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Well it might be something to that, Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
The other thing is I think, first of all, how
many people could go over to your mom's house.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
Well, you're that postman, the ups guy.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
I mean seriously, I mean how many people get down there? Right?
And then just say, Mom, guess what, I love you
so much until you get rid of these fat pictures.
It bothers me a lot. I'm not coming over. So
if that's not enough for her, and then now you're
gonna find out what a psychosis or her problem in
her headspace is when you say, Mom, I hate that
(30:27):
fat person. That's the way I am, and it's driving
me to be healthier. I hate these pictures. And if
this is what you're gonna leave in your house, I'm
not coming over your house. I'll meet you. I'll meet
you someplace or whatever. You want to go to lunch,
We're gonna do that, because I'm gonna eat healthy, not
like the fat kid apparently more. Do you love the.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Fat guy more?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Or do you love the new and improved? Is that
what you do? Is that what you want.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Is your meat succulent? Is your cake suculent and moist?
Speaker 2 (30:54):
She said succulent ten times?
Speaker 1 (30:56):
I know, am I the only one that got turned
on when he was saying succulent.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
But yes that he did kind of slow down.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
He did say succulent.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
Emphasis on the U lin succubist.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Succubis is a ghost? Oh has sex with guys? Now
a uh no, no, no, yeah, it is the one
that has girls. U sex with girls as an incubus.
Ah ah, you got scubas an incubus. But that's what
they do.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Do you think when you turn into a ghost you
stay gay or straight?
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
If you're gay in real life, are you a gay ghost?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
No, because ghosts don't see genders as admirable. They do
see succulency though. That's the one thing that Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Uh, so there you go. I think mom screwed up
in the head. I think so. I think that. Hey,
by the way, why do you think you were fat? Bro?
She was missing?
Speaker 3 (31:54):
She made you fat? So you never leave the house
you never meet a woman, so you never grow up bingo,
and now you left, she's she's pissed.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Dude. I still think the backup singers need to be
named wet and succulent.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
You just can't let it.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I just it's a perfect name.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Just can't let it go.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
When do you do the band intros?
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Yeah? You know Elin and Elin five nine nine twenty
eight hundred five nine nine twenty eight hundred. Call that number.
They'll sell your house for one percent commission rate. Keep
the equity in your home. The house is gonna sell.
It's the average of Jefferson County six six days, six
and a half days. That's that's the length your house
will stay on for sale. Right it'll sell for the
(32:29):
price you want. Keep the money in your pocket. One
percent commission rate Etlin dot com or five eight hundred.
Pick up the phone right now. Make a ton of
money off your house. Back after this on news Radio
eight forty whas
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Intentionally Disturbing
Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.