October 14, 2025 • 26 mins
According to author and motivational speaker Carla Ondrasik, if you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and falling short of your goals, the problem isn't that you're not trying hard enough—it's that you're trying at all. Carla knows a thing or two about getting things done. She was a powerhouse in the music industry, serving as the former vice president of Creative Writer Development for EMI Music. She helped bring hit songs to life for icons like Barbra Streisand, Cher, Mariah Carey, and Christina Aguilera, and even discovered, signed, and developed her own husband, musical artist John Ondrasik aka Five for Fighting.
In her new book, "Stop Trying! The Life-Transforming Power of Trying Less and Doing More", Ondrasik reveals the hidden science behind why a mindset built on "trying" can lead to anxiety, procrastination, and a fear of failure. It's an evolutionary guide to help you transform from a life of trying to a life of doing.
Aired September 21, 2025: In this podcast, Lisa Foxx talks to her friend Carla Ondrasik about getting the word 'TRY' OUT OF OUR LIVES! It's so much wasted time 'trying' instead of just getting things DONE! Her book is a fantastic read. Shes offers an insight on the SCIENCE behind this, plus work-book-like challenges and just over all help, to convert our inner voice to something much more powerful. VERY MOTIVATING! I didn't know how many things I wasn't getting done until I talked to Carla! Check out her book AND find her on Instagram at @carlaondrasik
In her new book, "Stop Trying! The Life-Transforming Power of Trying Less and Doing More", Ondrasik reveals the hidden science behind why a mindset built on "trying" can lead to anxiety, procrastination, and a fear of failure. It's an evolutionary guide to help you transform from a life of trying to a life of doing.
Aired September 21, 2025: In this podcast, Lisa Foxx talks to her friend Carla Ondrasik about getting the word 'TRY' OUT OF OUR LIVES! It's so much wasted time 'trying' instead of just getting things DONE! Her book is a fantastic read. Shes offers an insight on the SCIENCE behind this, plus work-book-like challenges and just over all help, to convert our inner voice to something much more powerful. VERY MOTIVATING! I didn't know how many things I wasn't getting done until I talked to Carla! Check out her book AND find her on Instagram at @carlaondrasik
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm Lisa Fox and this is the iHeart So Cow Show.
There's a brand new book out, a new philosophy that
could probably help a lot of us out in terms
of how we live our lives. How we live our
lives day to day, Stop trying so much and start
doing more. Yeah, stop trying is the title of the book,
The life transforming power of Trying Less and Doing More,
(00:20):
The new self help book by a motivational speaker and
my dear friend and a former music industry executive, super wife,
super mom, Carla Andrasik. Carlo, congratulations on your this is
your first book, then write your first book.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
This is my first and only book.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yes, And how long have you been wanting to do
this book? I feel like the last time and this
sounds so familiar to me when you told me to
stop trying back in like November of last year. I've
known Carla for a lot of years. I went to
see your husband perform live at the Canyon Club a
while back. We reconnected. We volunteered at Project Angel Food
delivering meals together right before Thanksgiving, and I told her
(01:02):
I was gonna do a big weight loss program through
the radio station. And I said I'm gonna try and
do this new weight loss thing. And she was like, no,
you're not gonna try, You're gonna do it. I was like, wow, okay, boy,
she's fired up about my weight loss program. She's fired up.
This Galla is not messing around. But you didn't tell
(01:22):
me the time that you were doing. You were putting
together this book to essentially really really ingraining people's heads
this whole man, I don't know, trial try. You really
are fired up about this, this movement and this message.
So let's talk about where it came from and why
it's so important to you.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay, Well, the hobby is fire for fighting John on Rask,
the person that you were seeing and sadly in love with.
And you know, honestly, I feel like I was born
this way as a human being who really just jumps
over all the hurdles, like I see the end game
and I go for what I want. But my the
(02:02):
way I was brought up, I was a gambler's daughter,
and there were times in my life where we were
just kind of thrown into situations where it was sink
or swim. You know, you can't when you're doing something,
you have to just go all in to get out
of it. And you know, so from an early age,
I was really trained to just go for it to survive,
(02:26):
and then moving forward in all of my careers, you know,
I was the dream maker. I was in music publishing
for twenty five years and I don't know you are
in the music world, but selling music, like getting a
song to another artist to record, is like selling ice
to eskimos because there's so much competition. You can't see it,
touch it, feel it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Ye.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
So you know the trying mindset, you know you're you're
not going to survive.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
You have to make things happen. You're on the business side,
you have to make things happen. It's business.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yep, you absolutely have to. And there's just such a
clear distinction between trying and doing it. I've always been
triggered by it. When someone says to me, oh, you know,
we're going to try to set up that meeting. I'm
going to try to call you back. I immediately hear
that as it's not going to happen, because nine times
out of ten we trick ourselves. We think when we
(03:17):
say we're going to try to do it, that we're
doing it, but we're really not. We're just talking about it,
thinking about it. We're we're putting, you know, so much
opportunity for failure when you say try.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
And it sounds so non noncommittal. Now that you put
it that way, try it sounds so non committal, and
that's just a waste of everyone's time. I guess right,
I'll try to make it over there. I'll try and
do this. I'll try. Now I'm hating that word try.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
So yeah, I hate it. You will hate it so
much more after this talk. You know, I'm just going
to put this out there for everybody that's listening, and
for you. I'm going to ask you a questions. Would
you put your money in a bank that says, look, Lisa,
we're going to try to, you know, keep trying of
your money, and I'm going to try to have it
available for you when you want to take it out
(04:04):
right and the world you know, falls apart. You wouldn't would.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
No, No, I don't like Yeah, now it feels so
wishy washy. Try What do you mean? No, for sure,
you're going to do it. You're gonna lock it in
and follow through it your promise.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yes, but we try, Like, why do we do that
to ourselves. You know, we don't allow the banks that
the mortgage or your rent, they don't allow you to
try to pay.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that's a fly with them. I'm going to try
to pay my mortgage. No, you're either going to or
you're not going to, and then bad things are going
to happen. So it's just or No. There's no gray area.
There's no gray area. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
But where it really, where it really gets me is
when people say I'm trying to lose weight. Like when
I heard you say that, I'm like, no, Lisa, I
care about you and I want you to make this
happen because I know it's important to you, and I
don't want you to have the mindset going in I'm
going to try to do it because you're going to
half hearted. You're going to give all these excuses. Well
(04:59):
I tried, but I could didn't because I'm so busy.
Well I tried, but Eric, you know, kept bringing home donuts.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
You know, Ah, but guess who's down twenty eight pounds you.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
But I will say though, I'm grateful for the weight
last program I did through the radio station because it
helped me stick to it. Because you know, I'm on
the air talking about it. So it's a promise, a
follow through, and it really helped motivate me to.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Stick to it, accountable account It.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Helped make me accountable and that's what I needed, you know.
And then you know, we have the fires in January,
and I'm just so grateful that we didn't end up
doing all the terrible emotional eating. Well we are emotional drinking,
but not emotional eating, and we're a downweight and our
health is very important to us now more than ever.
But also it helps with mental health. Exercising, eating clean,
(05:49):
eating healthy, it's all so important. So I get it,
just like your books, stop trying and start doing, and
we've been doing in terms of our health and the
exercise and the clean eating, all the stuff we've been
doing it. We want to continue doing it and not
wasting time talking about wanting to do it. We're doing it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Like when you say you're trying to do anything, you
are focusing on the effort more than the outcome. You're
focusing on that it's going to be a struggle. I'm
going to try to do it right, it's all built
in there. But when you when you ultimately just say, look,
I'm going to do this, you're just now in doo mode.
You're in You're focusing on the result, You're not focusing
(06:28):
on the struggle. And trying is something that we all do,
so I really really want to make sure that I
say this. You know, we are taught to try at
a very young age. Try harder, try your best, just
try it like we do, believe that it's doing. We've
we've been fooled, We've been tricked into the mindset because
(06:51):
we'd be much better off telling the people that we
love and care about don't try, because that means you're
going to half heart your attempt and you are going
to lean on excuses and blame. You're not going to
be accountable. Do it and just focus on that because
that's going to fuel you. And there is definitely neuroscience
behind our brain when we try and when we do.
(07:13):
When you try, it's like low low lighting up, low vibration,
but when you do, it's firing. It's literally physically when
you look at the picture, it's brighter when you're doing,
and all of the synapsises are connected and going. There's
so much other like science behind it. But I also
want to say that just because you commit to doing something,
(07:36):
it does not guarantee success. Even if you say I'm
going to do this, it's not guaranteed it's going to happen,
but you are one hundred percent guaranteed a better chance
of it happening if you do instead of try to
do it.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
And and honestly, Carla, we know, we all know at
this stage of the game, when we have failed, we
learn our biggest lessons. And sometimes failure is a big
eye opener and a big wake up call to do
things different or better next time. I mean, it's a
learning lesson. There are big lessons we learned when you
fail as well.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Right, Oh my god, it's the that's the number one
reason that we say we'll try because we're so afraid
to fail. Commit to it. I'm going to fail, and
you just hit the nail on the head. It's I
welcome failure. It is the best thing that can happen
to you. This book journey. I'm on, I have no
idea what I'm doing, and if something works, great. If
(08:29):
it doesn't work, okay, I'm going to learn the lesson
and pivot and kind of go about it and do
it another way.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
So you talk about the science behind this concept, Carla,
how did you dive into that part of it?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Well, when I was writing the book, you know, people
do want science back research, and then as I talk
about it, and then sometimes questions lead to me discovering
like what is the science behind that? So here's something
really fun that not a lot of people know. So
when you are a person that has the big to
do list, it's really your try to do list, because
(09:02):
you're not doing them. It's just you're just adding on, well,
I've got I'm trying to do this, I'm trying to
do this, I'm trying to do this, and you tend
to get very stressed and anxious, and then guess what happens.
You can't even complete anything on the list because you're
mentally exhausted, you're emote, you know, you're just thinking about
all that stuff and it overwhelms you. So there's something
(09:23):
called the Zygarnic effect. So here's some science behind it.
When you make a list of all the stuff you're
trying to do, our brain processes the list as unfinished business.
So it's an open loop literally in our brain. It's
an open loop that wants to close itself. So imagine
in your house you have the big screen TV on
(09:45):
and all the lights on, and all the energy is
going towards those things that are open. Right, You're wasting
all that energy because they're just lit up and shining
and no one's watching them and no one's using them.
And our brain does the same thing. It keeps firing
and paying attention to what we don't have completed. It
wants to close the loop. And so when you complete
(10:07):
a task, the loop closes, it goes away. You experience
immediate calm and more room in your mental mindset and
your brain to go complete another task. This is why
Cliffhanger's work. The entertainment industry knows this. It leaves the
unopened ending. And what do we do. We think about
it like I can't wait till Thursday night to watch
(10:28):
the season finale?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah yeah, And what radio we do? It's the art
of the teas. Coming up, your chance to win this?
Coming up? Did land you want to go? Coming up?
We do it every day on the radio shows. Yeah,
there you go.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
That's an open loop. But you know, and that works.
But for us, when we have all those open loops,
think about it. Think about your list like what are
you trying to get done? Just like this week, Lisa.
You're one of the busiest people I know, and you're
a doer, but there has to be some things that
you've had on you know, like, oh my gosh, I've
been trying to to organize my emails or trying to
(11:02):
clean out the glove compartment in my car. Like whatever
it is, big or small, you want to get it
done and close that loop, yes, and give yourself some
calm and some space.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I love creating lists and I love crossing things off
the list. I'm a big cross things off the list
kind of a person. And my man, Eric Is he
likes to kind of take us time, and I'm like, nope,
let's get to We're gonna run a list and we're
gonna cross it off. Let's check it off the list.
Let's get it done. Make the call the doctor, get
your new medications ordered. And again since the fires, he's
always got to make calls to FEMA, and always on
(11:35):
the phone with the insurance company, and always on the lawyer,
and you know, just things that we have to accomplish,
trying to find a contractor. I mean, it's just it's
a lot, but creating lists and crossing things off the
list is definitely how I like to do things. Yeah, behind,
because that's doing, because it's doing.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Because it's doing. And you know, the fire is a
great example of you don't get stuff done that you
need to get done. You don't have forever sometimes right,
And you know, in medicine, you mentioned making doctor's appointments.
Think about Here's where I get really triggered. Think about
the person that says, you know, I've been trying to
make my annual dermatology appointment. So I'm trying to find
(12:13):
a new doctor. I'm trying to find the best month
to go. I've been trying to get somebody on the phone,
and they ultimately, because they're trying, they're not doing it.
They're just thinking that they're doing it. They may miss
some big disc importance. It's important thing, It's really big.
It affects everything, our careers, our health, our happiness, even
(12:36):
our relationships. Like what do you mean I'm trying to
spend more time with my kids? What does that look like?
It looks like maybe you took a Friday afternoon and
went out for pizza, but what about next Friday? Like,
trying is a half hearted thing. Yeah I tried, I
did it whatever. But doing means setting aside you know,
significant amount of time that's constant. That's really creating connection.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
You know, I'm trying to work on my marriage. I'm
going to try to get a better you know. Yep.
So it's everywhere, the trying is everywhere. But once you
get it, it's really great and you're and you become
really more respected from people around you because you become accountable. Sure,
you're not someone that lets people down. You will be
(13:20):
the person that gets the raise that you are noticed
in the office because wow, he didn't try to set
that meeting up, he did it. Wow, he didn't try
to get me the list. He got me the list.
And you'll have less fear, You'll have so much more confidence.
Like the more you do, it's unbelievable. I could talk
to you for five hours on the benefits of just
(13:40):
doing it. Not eliminating try, but really becoming hyper hyper
aware of what you're doing. When you're trying, it's just
such a nothing world. There's no action for it. You're
either doing or not.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I'm looking at your book as how you lay out
your chapters in terms of getting people to change his
language in our head. Essentially, that's what I think your
book is trying to do. No, it wants what your
book wants us to do to accomplish doing, and it's doing.
It's getting that word try out of our mouths, out
of our brain, out of our lives. What does it
mean to try? What do we try in the first place?
(14:14):
How try and hold us back? How leaving a no
try life? I mean, how how does your book help
people break that cycle and put our put these words
into action and help us have a little more hutzva,
help us have a little more you know, gung ho,
and help us be more fired up about doing and
not all this wishy washy trying. How does your book
(14:35):
help us do that?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Well, the first thing it does is it really makes
you become aware of what it means to try. So
it's the real version of it's not as the dictionary says,
an attempter, an effort. It's and I'll maybe kind of
sort of do it if ish I feel like it
later effort. It really hones in on what does it
mean when you say you're trying, and forces you to
look at that, and then it talks about why We
(14:59):
do it because we're taught to try, because we're afraid
of failure, because it's so hard for us to say no.
It's one of my favorite actors.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Sure, sure, you.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Know we offered to Okay, I'll try to make it
to your fundraiser, or I'll try to make it to
the whatever. Because and instead of just saying you know what,
thank you, but no, because what happens, and I talk
about all of this in the book, is it's not
kinder to the person that you're saying, i'll try to
because now they have kind of a hope that you
might show up. They might wait extra time for you,
(15:32):
they may save a seat for you. They're going to
be wondering if you're coming or not. So that's not nice.
But to yourself. Now you go home and you're thinking, oh,
I said I would try to go, I could go,
I should go. I'm going to feel bad if I
don't go. Now you put yourself through all this like
mental torture about because you said you would try it.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Get us. It's a lot of wasted time.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
It is instead of I'm not going, and now you
get to enjoy your night and have a glass of
wine on the back porch and look out at the
ocean and have beautiful evening. So so the book talks
about you know what it means, why we do it?
And then moving forward is becoming aware, learning how to
say no, learning to recognize the areas of your life
where you might be afraid, and learning that fear is
(16:16):
the greatest thing that can happen to you. And then
I have two sections. One is called Soulful Solutions and
the other is Trailblazing Tips. And I love the Soulful
Solutions because, for example, in there, I talk about the
power of silence. When I was writing this book, many
people had no idea that I was writing the book because,
(16:39):
oh my god, whether it came from a place of love, jealousy,
or whatever, I did not want to open myself up
to them saying, oh my gosh, Carla, really another self
help book. Really you have never written a book. Oh
my god, it's going to take up some like all
that negative energy.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Oh yeah, always hate you and it does.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Affect you, right, you can't so I block it out.
That's called the power of silence. You just people that
are doing they don't have time, they're not talking about
all the stuff that they're trying to do. And then
you know, just one other thing I'll throw in right now,
is our brain kind of tricks us. So when you're
at a party and you're talking to someone that says, well,
(17:22):
I'm trying to develop a podcast and I've been trying
to write a book on the subject of house cleaning. Okay,
in that moment, that person, they're getting hits of serotonin
and doorphins, dopamine, like all the stuff is hitting them
because it feels like they're doing it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I'm telling you because I want to impress you, right,
is that part of that like, oh, yeah, I'm doing
this something about doing this and that. Yeah, I've got
all these things going like how cool am I?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yes? And it gives you a high. But guess what
when you leave that party, what are you doing about it?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Nothing? Nothing, nothing. That's a bunch of bs. Well, and
I like to carl I see as I flipped the
pages of your book, Stop Trying, The Life Transforming Power
of Trying Less and Doing More by Carla Andrasik. I
like that it's a very work book friendly and you
can like I can write in here you're asking questions,
So like even towards the end here not to give
(18:12):
the book away, but things like writing down the thing
I will begin doing is what is my motivation for
doing this thing? Like you're asking people questions, write down
or just essentially give us a project and ask asking
us to ask ourselves real questions and keep it real.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
One hundred percent. And it's a very quick book, by
the way, Like you could open it up on a
flight from LA to New York and read the whole thing,
and when you get off that plane, you're a different person.
Your motivation and your insight into how you operate is
completely different. So you finish that book and you can
(18:51):
immediately start using even while you're reading it, the tools
and the tricks that I give you. And there was
I going to have time for one little quick story.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Yeah, of course.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
This is how quickly it works. And this is what
I really want to stress to everyone, is it's not
a process. It can happen within an hour. It could
happen within twenty four hours. I used to take my
kids to the park to get on the bus in
the morning, and there was a guy that was walking
around the park with these giant headphones on. And I
was in the music business and I always wondered, like,
(19:22):
what's he listening to? But I never wanted to bother him,
so I don't know. After a couple of months of this,
one day he had the headphones off and I went
up to him and I said, Hi, I was in
the music business. I'm wondering if you're listening to my
friend Li Safox on the radio and you know, what
are you listening to? And he goes, oh, well, I
listened to a lot of self help motivational podcasts and talks,
(19:47):
and there's so much that I'm trying to get done
that I don't have the inspiration to do. And I
heard the word try, and I just looked at this
guy and I said, tell me just one thing, one
thing trying to do. And he said, well, I've been
trying to get back into swimming. It's what I love
to do. I'm out of shape. I need to get
(20:07):
in shape and lose some weight. And I looked at
him and I simply said, why don't you stop trying
to go swim and go swim and that was it.
That was the end of our conversation. I actually thought
I'm never going to see him again.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I just swimming at your house. So I was like,
come on to my house.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Twenty four hours later, I have to be at the
park at the same time bring the kids to the bus,
and I hear this guy screaming from across the park.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I did it.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
I swam and you know what, he's I interviewed him
for the book. He's still swimming. Changed his job. Like
by the time this this call ends, somebody could go,
you know what, I'm not going to try to call
my brother that I have been meaning to call and
pick up the phone, do it and say I'm sorry
(21:00):
or something. I'm going to do it right now. It's
that immediate, it's that incredible. So yeah, So that guy
is one of my favorite stories. I love that is
his trying process was listening. He kept wondering, worrying, listening
to all the self help instead of just doing it.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Doing it, Yeah, doing the work. And you know, your
Instagram is so great too, because you share so many
anecdotes from the book and some examples of real life
situations when you didn't try, but when you did, and
so many great success stories of you doing exactly that.
What's your Instagram and how can people find you? That way?
Speaker 2 (21:36):
It's at Carla on drawsick O N D R A
S I K. And it's Carla with a C. And
I have my website is stop dash Trying dot com
and there's a if you sign up there you get
the try baby test, which is a test that can
see if you're a try baby. I came up with
(21:56):
that word, you know, for all those people that are
just doc in trimode and complaining about everything they don't have.
So stop dash trying dot com and yeah, follow me
because it's been a lot of fun for me to
share why I wrote the book how you can use
these little tips every day to get out of your
trying mindset. I recently talked about eat the frog.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I love that. I love that mentality to share the
eat the frog because of my old boss, Angela Perelli
shared that analogy with me years ago. And I have
been living my life with that mentality of eating the
frog and find that I'm often telling other people to
do the same.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Okay, So eat the frog was first attributed I believe,
to Mark Twain, believe it or not, and it is
what he says is if you have to eat a frog,
it's best to do it. First thing in the morning.
So what that means is you do this thing that
you are most resistant in doing, the thing that you dread,
(22:59):
the thing that you've been procrastinating. If you do that
first thing, everything else in your day is lighter and
easier because you've just gotten the worst part and now
you've started momentum. And so you know, there's so many
reasons by the end of the day we have decision fatigue.
So you'll eliminate all that. And if you eat your
(23:20):
frog first thing in the morning, it may be disgusting
and greasy and yiky and growth.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
But it's done. It's done, but it's done.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah. And here the other thing, it's usually not as
bad as you think it is. It's usually like, oh
my god, it took me ten minutes to do that,
but I thought I was going to be doing it
all morning. And when you know, doing is so much
easier than what you create in your brain of how
art it's going to be.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, and it's a wonderful way too. Also again, cross
it off the list, and you know, open up the
rest of your day for more magical things to happen. Essentially,
so and now I feel like I want to change
the way we even use the tea word. I'm gonna
call it the tea word. Now, I'm not gonna even
say try. I feel like I want to say it
like a little whiny way. If you're gonna use the
word try, it means you're not doing And in the
(24:08):
words of Carla Andrasik, it just means I don't believe you.
I don't believe you. But you don't need to impress me.
You need to do it for yourself. So you need
to be doing so you're creating magic in your world.
You know, we're only here for so long, so you
need to create and make things happen and not be
a whiny little hmm and complain about stuff all the time.
We are here to make magic happen. And Carla's book
(24:30):
is all about that. She has a wealth of information
and you'll be doing book signs around town and talks
around town, all the info on your website and your Instagram.
And it's available on Amazon already.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Right or pre order, oh yeah, pre order Amazon, Bards
and Noble target wspots.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah. Stop trying. The live transforming power of trying less
and doing more by Carla Androsik. It's about getting you
a fart up to be more of a doer and
less of a complainer who tries and waste a lot
of time talking about stuff. This is just going to
get you fired up to start taking action and getting
things done.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm not trying to empower people. I am empowering it.
You are doing it. I will catch you every time
you say that word, the big bonker that comes down
from the sign, like bonk you on the head, zoich.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
In my face. It's amazing and I appreciate this whole
thing that you're doing. And it's really just to put
this out there to some people that are listening right
now about less of the t word, less of the try,
and more of the doing. Let's get people fired up
to live and do great things. So thank you so
much for the book Stop Trying. Order it now on Amazon,
and you have a big book event on the West
(25:41):
Side in a couple of weeks so they can follow
all that and find out more on your website and
also carl it Andrassic on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Thank you Lisa so much.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Love you girl, appreciate your time. And now we're going
to just do this. We just did it. See we
did it. We did the interview. We did it. We're
not going to try to talk on the radio in it.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Yes, we can do it.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yay. Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. This is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Thank you, Thanks, thanks
I'm Lisa Fox and this is the iHeart So Cow Show.
There's a brand new book out, a new philosophy that
could probably help a lot of us out in terms
of how we live our lives. How we live our
lives day to day, Stop trying so much and start
doing more. Yeah, stop trying is the title of the book,
The life transforming power of Trying Less and Doing More,
(00:20):
The new self help book by a motivational speaker and
my dear friend and a former music industry executive, super wife,
super mom, Carla Andrasik. Carlo, congratulations on your this is
your first book, then write your first book.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
This is my first and only book.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yes, And how long have you been wanting to do
this book? I feel like the last time and this
sounds so familiar to me when you told me to
stop trying back in like November of last year. I've
known Carla for a lot of years. I went to
see your husband perform live at the Canyon Club a
while back. We reconnected. We volunteered at Project Angel Food
delivering meals together right before Thanksgiving, and I told her
(01:02):
I was gonna do a big weight loss program through
the radio station. And I said I'm gonna try and
do this new weight loss thing. And she was like, no,
you're not gonna try, You're gonna do it. I was like, wow, okay, boy,
she's fired up about my weight loss program. She's fired up.
This Galla is not messing around. But you didn't tell
(01:22):
me the time that you were doing. You were putting
together this book to essentially really really ingraining people's heads
this whole man, I don't know, trial try. You really
are fired up about this, this movement and this message.
So let's talk about where it came from and why
it's so important to you.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Okay, Well, the hobby is fire for fighting John on Rask,
the person that you were seeing and sadly in love with.
And you know, honestly, I feel like I was born
this way as a human being who really just jumps
over all the hurdles, like I see the end game
and I go for what I want. But my the
(02:02):
way I was brought up, I was a gambler's daughter,
and there were times in my life where we were
just kind of thrown into situations where it was sink
or swim. You know, you can't when you're doing something,
you have to just go all in to get out
of it. And you know, so from an early age,
I was really trained to just go for it to survive,
(02:26):
and then moving forward in all of my careers, you know,
I was the dream maker. I was in music publishing
for twenty five years and I don't know you are
in the music world, but selling music, like getting a
song to another artist to record, is like selling ice
to eskimos because there's so much competition. You can't see it,
touch it, feel it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Ye.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
So you know the trying mindset, you know you're you're
not going to survive.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
You have to make things happen. You're on the business side,
you have to make things happen. It's business.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yep, you absolutely have to. And there's just such a
clear distinction between trying and doing it. I've always been
triggered by it. When someone says to me, oh, you know,
we're going to try to set up that meeting. I'm
going to try to call you back. I immediately hear
that as it's not going to happen, because nine times
out of ten we trick ourselves. We think when we
(03:17):
say we're going to try to do it, that we're
doing it, but we're really not. We're just talking about it,
thinking about it. We're we're putting, you know, so much
opportunity for failure when you say try.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
And it sounds so non noncommittal. Now that you put
it that way, try it sounds so non committal, and
that's just a waste of everyone's time. I guess right,
I'll try to make it over there. I'll try and
do this. I'll try. Now I'm hating that word try.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
So yeah, I hate it. You will hate it so
much more after this talk. You know, I'm just going
to put this out there for everybody that's listening, and
for you. I'm going to ask you a questions. Would
you put your money in a bank that says, look, Lisa,
we're going to try to, you know, keep trying of
your money, and I'm going to try to have it
available for you when you want to take it out
(04:04):
right and the world you know, falls apart. You wouldn't would.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
No, No, I don't like Yeah, now it feels so
wishy washy. Try What do you mean? No, for sure,
you're going to do it. You're gonna lock it in
and follow through it your promise.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yes, but we try, Like, why do we do that
to ourselves. You know, we don't allow the banks that
the mortgage or your rent, they don't allow you to
try to pay.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that's a fly with them. I'm going to try
to pay my mortgage. No, you're either going to or
you're not going to, and then bad things are going
to happen. So it's just or No. There's no gray area.
There's no gray area. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
But where it really, where it really gets me is
when people say I'm trying to lose weight. Like when
I heard you say that, I'm like, no, Lisa, I
care about you and I want you to make this
happen because I know it's important to you, and I
don't want you to have the mindset going in I'm
going to try to do it because you're going to
half hearted. You're going to give all these excuses. Well
(04:59):
I tried, but I could didn't because I'm so busy.
Well I tried, but Eric, you know, kept bringing home donuts.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
You know, Ah, but guess who's down twenty eight pounds you.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
But I will say though, I'm grateful for the weight
last program I did through the radio station because it
helped me stick to it. Because you know, I'm on
the air talking about it. So it's a promise, a
follow through, and it really helped motivate me to.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Stick to it, accountable account It.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Helped make me accountable and that's what I needed, you know.
And then you know, we have the fires in January,
and I'm just so grateful that we didn't end up
doing all the terrible emotional eating. Well we are emotional drinking,
but not emotional eating, and we're a downweight and our
health is very important to us now more than ever.
But also it helps with mental health. Exercising, eating clean,
(05:49):
eating healthy, it's all so important. So I get it,
just like your books, stop trying and start doing, and
we've been doing in terms of our health and the
exercise and the clean eating, all the stuff we've been
doing it. We want to continue doing it and not
wasting time talking about wanting to do it. We're doing it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Like when you say you're trying to do anything, you
are focusing on the effort more than the outcome. You're
focusing on that it's going to be a struggle. I'm
going to try to do it right, it's all built
in there. But when you when you ultimately just say, look,
I'm going to do this, you're just now in doo mode.
You're in You're focusing on the result, You're not focusing
(06:28):
on the struggle. And trying is something that we all do,
so I really really want to make sure that I
say this. You know, we are taught to try at
a very young age. Try harder, try your best, just
try it like we do, believe that it's doing. We've
we've been fooled, We've been tricked into the mindset because
(06:51):
we'd be much better off telling the people that we
love and care about don't try, because that means you're
going to half heart your attempt and you are going
to lean on excuses and blame. You're not going to
be accountable. Do it and just focus on that because
that's going to fuel you. And there is definitely neuroscience
behind our brain when we try and when we do.
(07:13):
When you try, it's like low low lighting up, low vibration,
but when you do, it's firing. It's literally physically when
you look at the picture, it's brighter when you're doing,
and all of the synapsises are connected and going. There's
so much other like science behind it. But I also
want to say that just because you commit to doing something,
(07:36):
it does not guarantee success. Even if you say I'm
going to do this, it's not guaranteed it's going to happen,
but you are one hundred percent guaranteed a better chance
of it happening if you do instead of try to
do it.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
And and honestly, Carla, we know, we all know at
this stage of the game, when we have failed, we
learn our biggest lessons. And sometimes failure is a big
eye opener and a big wake up call to do
things different or better next time. I mean, it's a
learning lesson. There are big lessons we learned when you
fail as well.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Right, Oh my god, it's the that's the number one
reason that we say we'll try because we're so afraid
to fail. Commit to it. I'm going to fail, and
you just hit the nail on the head. It's I
welcome failure. It is the best thing that can happen
to you. This book journey. I'm on, I have no
idea what I'm doing, and if something works, great. If
(08:29):
it doesn't work, okay, I'm going to learn the lesson
and pivot and kind of go about it and do
it another way.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
So you talk about the science behind this concept, Carla,
how did you dive into that part of it?
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Well, when I was writing the book, you know, people
do want science back research, and then as I talk
about it, and then sometimes questions lead to me discovering
like what is the science behind that? So here's something
really fun that not a lot of people know. So
when you are a person that has the big to
do list, it's really your try to do list, because
(09:02):
you're not doing them. It's just you're just adding on, well,
I've got I'm trying to do this, I'm trying to
do this, I'm trying to do this, and you tend
to get very stressed and anxious, and then guess what happens.
You can't even complete anything on the list because you're
mentally exhausted, you're emote, you know, you're just thinking about
all that stuff and it overwhelms you. So there's something
(09:23):
called the Zygarnic effect. So here's some science behind it.
When you make a list of all the stuff you're
trying to do, our brain processes the list as unfinished business.
So it's an open loop literally in our brain. It's
an open loop that wants to close itself. So imagine
in your house you have the big screen TV on
(09:45):
and all the lights on, and all the energy is
going towards those things that are open. Right, You're wasting
all that energy because they're just lit up and shining
and no one's watching them and no one's using them.
And our brain does the same thing. It keeps firing
and paying attention to what we don't have completed. It
wants to close the loop. And so when you complete
(10:07):
a task, the loop closes, it goes away. You experience
immediate calm and more room in your mental mindset and
your brain to go complete another task. This is why
Cliffhanger's work. The entertainment industry knows this. It leaves the
unopened ending. And what do we do. We think about
it like I can't wait till Thursday night to watch
(10:28):
the season finale?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Yeah yeah, And what radio we do? It's the art
of the teas. Coming up, your chance to win this?
Coming up? Did land you want to go? Coming up?
We do it every day on the radio shows. Yeah,
there you go.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
That's an open loop. But you know, and that works.
But for us, when we have all those open loops,
think about it. Think about your list like what are
you trying to get done? Just like this week, Lisa.
You're one of the busiest people I know, and you're
a doer, but there has to be some things that
you've had on you know, like, oh my gosh, I've
been trying to to organize my emails or trying to
(11:02):
clean out the glove compartment in my car. Like whatever
it is, big or small, you want to get it
done and close that loop, yes, and give yourself some
calm and some space.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I love creating lists and I love crossing things off
the list. I'm a big cross things off the list
kind of a person. And my man, Eric Is he
likes to kind of take us time, and I'm like, nope,
let's get to We're gonna run a list and we're
gonna cross it off. Let's check it off the list.
Let's get it done. Make the call the doctor, get
your new medications ordered. And again since the fires, he's
always got to make calls to FEMA, and always on
(11:35):
the phone with the insurance company, and always on the lawyer,
and you know, just things that we have to accomplish,
trying to find a contractor. I mean, it's just it's
a lot, but creating lists and crossing things off the
list is definitely how I like to do things. Yeah, behind,
because that's doing, because it's doing.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Because it's doing. And you know, the fire is a
great example of you don't get stuff done that you
need to get done. You don't have forever sometimes right,
And you know, in medicine, you mentioned making doctor's appointments.
Think about Here's where I get really triggered. Think about
the person that says, you know, I've been trying to
make my annual dermatology appointment. So I'm trying to find
(12:13):
a new doctor. I'm trying to find the best month
to go. I've been trying to get somebody on the phone,
and they ultimately, because they're trying, they're not doing it.
They're just thinking that they're doing it. They may miss
some big disc importance. It's important thing, It's really big.
It affects everything, our careers, our health, our happiness, even
(12:36):
our relationships. Like what do you mean I'm trying to
spend more time with my kids? What does that look like?
It looks like maybe you took a Friday afternoon and
went out for pizza, but what about next Friday? Like,
trying is a half hearted thing. Yeah I tried, I
did it whatever. But doing means setting aside you know,
significant amount of time that's constant. That's really creating connection.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
You know, I'm trying to work on my marriage. I'm
going to try to get a better you know. Yep.
So it's everywhere, the trying is everywhere. But once you
get it, it's really great and you're and you become
really more respected from people around you because you become accountable. Sure,
you're not someone that lets people down. You will be
(13:20):
the person that gets the raise that you are noticed
in the office because wow, he didn't try to set
that meeting up, he did it. Wow, he didn't try
to get me the list. He got me the list.
And you'll have less fear, You'll have so much more confidence.
Like the more you do, it's unbelievable. I could talk
to you for five hours on the benefits of just
(13:40):
doing it. Not eliminating try, but really becoming hyper hyper
aware of what you're doing. When you're trying, it's just
such a nothing world. There's no action for it. You're
either doing or not.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I'm looking at your book as how you lay out
your chapters in terms of getting people to change his
language in our head. Essentially, that's what I think your
book is trying to do. No, it wants what your
book wants us to do to accomplish doing, and it's doing.
It's getting that word try out of our mouths, out
of our brain, out of our lives. What does it
mean to try? What do we try in the first place?
(14:14):
How try and hold us back? How leaving a no
try life? I mean, how how does your book help
people break that cycle and put our put these words
into action and help us have a little more hutzva,
help us have a little more you know, gung ho,
and help us be more fired up about doing and
not all this wishy washy trying. How does your book
(14:35):
help us do that?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Well, the first thing it does is it really makes
you become aware of what it means to try. So
it's the real version of it's not as the dictionary says,
an attempter, an effort. It's and I'll maybe kind of
sort of do it if ish I feel like it
later effort. It really hones in on what does it
mean when you say you're trying, and forces you to
look at that, and then it talks about why We
(14:59):
do it because we're taught to try, because we're afraid
of failure, because it's so hard for us to say no.
It's one of my favorite actors.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Sure, sure, you.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Know we offered to Okay, I'll try to make it
to your fundraiser, or I'll try to make it to
the whatever. Because and instead of just saying you know what,
thank you, but no, because what happens, and I talk
about all of this in the book, is it's not
kinder to the person that you're saying, i'll try to
because now they have kind of a hope that you
might show up. They might wait extra time for you,
(15:32):
they may save a seat for you. They're going to
be wondering if you're coming or not. So that's not nice.
But to yourself. Now you go home and you're thinking, oh,
I said I would try to go, I could go,
I should go. I'm going to feel bad if I
don't go. Now you put yourself through all this like
mental torture about because you said you would try it.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Get us. It's a lot of wasted time.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
It is instead of I'm not going, and now you
get to enjoy your night and have a glass of
wine on the back porch and look out at the
ocean and have beautiful evening. So so the book talks
about you know what it means, why we do it?
And then moving forward is becoming aware, learning how to
say no, learning to recognize the areas of your life
where you might be afraid, and learning that fear is
(16:16):
the greatest thing that can happen to you. And then
I have two sections. One is called Soulful Solutions and
the other is Trailblazing Tips. And I love the Soulful
Solutions because, for example, in there, I talk about the
power of silence. When I was writing this book, many
people had no idea that I was writing the book because,
(16:39):
oh my god, whether it came from a place of love, jealousy,
or whatever, I did not want to open myself up
to them saying, oh my gosh, Carla, really another self
help book. Really you have never written a book. Oh
my god, it's going to take up some like all
that negative energy.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Oh yeah, always hate you and it does.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Affect you, right, you can't so I block it out.
That's called the power of silence. You just people that
are doing they don't have time, they're not talking about
all the stuff that they're trying to do. And then
you know, just one other thing I'll throw in right now,
is our brain kind of tricks us. So when you're
at a party and you're talking to someone that says, well,
(17:22):
I'm trying to develop a podcast and I've been trying
to write a book on the subject of house cleaning. Okay,
in that moment, that person, they're getting hits of serotonin
and doorphins, dopamine, like all the stuff is hitting them
because it feels like they're doing it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
I'm telling you because I want to impress you, right,
is that part of that like, oh, yeah, I'm doing
this something about doing this and that. Yeah, I've got
all these things going like how cool am I?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yes? And it gives you a high. But guess what
when you leave that party, what are you doing about it?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Nothing? Nothing, nothing. That's a bunch of bs. Well, and
I like to carl I see as I flipped the
pages of your book, Stop Trying, The Life Transforming Power
of Trying Less and Doing More by Carla Andrasik. I
like that it's a very work book friendly and you
can like I can write in here you're asking questions,
So like even towards the end here not to give
(18:12):
the book away, but things like writing down the thing
I will begin doing is what is my motivation for
doing this thing? Like you're asking people questions, write down
or just essentially give us a project and ask asking
us to ask ourselves real questions and keep it real.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
One hundred percent. And it's a very quick book, by
the way, Like you could open it up on a
flight from LA to New York and read the whole thing,
and when you get off that plane, you're a different person.
Your motivation and your insight into how you operate is
completely different. So you finish that book and you can
(18:51):
immediately start using even while you're reading it, the tools
and the tricks that I give you. And there was
I going to have time for one little quick story.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Yeah, of course.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
This is how quickly it works. And this is what
I really want to stress to everyone, is it's not
a process. It can happen within an hour. It could
happen within twenty four hours. I used to take my
kids to the park to get on the bus in
the morning, and there was a guy that was walking
around the park with these giant headphones on. And I
was in the music business and I always wondered, like,
(19:22):
what's he listening to? But I never wanted to bother him,
so I don't know. After a couple of months of this,
one day he had the headphones off and I went
up to him and I said, Hi, I was in
the music business. I'm wondering if you're listening to my
friend Li Safox on the radio and you know, what
are you listening to? And he goes, oh, well, I
listened to a lot of self help motivational podcasts and talks,
(19:47):
and there's so much that I'm trying to get done
that I don't have the inspiration to do. And I
heard the word try, and I just looked at this
guy and I said, tell me just one thing, one
thing trying to do. And he said, well, I've been
trying to get back into swimming. It's what I love
to do. I'm out of shape. I need to get
(20:07):
in shape and lose some weight. And I looked at
him and I simply said, why don't you stop trying
to go swim and go swim and that was it.
That was the end of our conversation. I actually thought
I'm never going to see him again.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I just swimming at your house. So I was like,
come on to my house.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Twenty four hours later, I have to be at the
park at the same time bring the kids to the bus,
and I hear this guy screaming from across the park.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
I did it.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
I swam and you know what, he's I interviewed him
for the book. He's still swimming. Changed his job. Like
by the time this this call ends, somebody could go,
you know what, I'm not going to try to call
my brother that I have been meaning to call and
pick up the phone, do it and say I'm sorry
(21:00):
or something. I'm going to do it right now. It's
that immediate, it's that incredible. So yeah, So that guy
is one of my favorite stories. I love that is
his trying process was listening. He kept wondering, worrying, listening
to all the self help instead of just doing it.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Doing it, Yeah, doing the work. And you know, your
Instagram is so great too, because you share so many
anecdotes from the book and some examples of real life
situations when you didn't try, but when you did, and
so many great success stories of you doing exactly that.
What's your Instagram and how can people find you? That way?
Speaker 2 (21:36):
It's at Carla on drawsick O N D R A
S I K. And it's Carla with a C. And
I have my website is stop dash Trying dot com
and there's a if you sign up there you get
the try baby test, which is a test that can
see if you're a try baby. I came up with
(21:56):
that word, you know, for all those people that are
just doc in trimode and complaining about everything they don't have.
So stop dash trying dot com and yeah, follow me
because it's been a lot of fun for me to
share why I wrote the book how you can use
these little tips every day to get out of your
trying mindset. I recently talked about eat the frog.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I love that. I love that mentality to share the
eat the frog because of my old boss, Angela Perelli
shared that analogy with me years ago. And I have
been living my life with that mentality of eating the
frog and find that I'm often telling other people to
do the same.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Okay, So eat the frog was first attributed I believe,
to Mark Twain, believe it or not, and it is
what he says is if you have to eat a frog,
it's best to do it. First thing in the morning.
So what that means is you do this thing that
you are most resistant in doing, the thing that you dread,
(22:59):
the thing that you've been procrastinating. If you do that
first thing, everything else in your day is lighter and
easier because you've just gotten the worst part and now
you've started momentum. And so you know, there's so many
reasons by the end of the day we have decision fatigue.
So you'll eliminate all that. And if you eat your
(23:20):
frog first thing in the morning, it may be disgusting
and greasy and yiky and growth.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
But it's done. It's done, but it's done.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah. And here the other thing, it's usually not as
bad as you think it is. It's usually like, oh
my god, it took me ten minutes to do that,
but I thought I was going to be doing it
all morning. And when you know, doing is so much
easier than what you create in your brain of how
art it's going to be.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, and it's a wonderful way too. Also again, cross
it off the list, and you know, open up the
rest of your day for more magical things to happen. Essentially,
so and now I feel like I want to change
the way we even use the tea word. I'm gonna
call it the tea word. Now, I'm not gonna even
say try. I feel like I want to say it
like a little whiny way. If you're gonna use the
word try, it means you're not doing And in the
(24:08):
words of Carla Andrasik, it just means I don't believe you.
I don't believe you. But you don't need to impress me.
You need to do it for yourself. So you need
to be doing so you're creating magic in your world.
You know, we're only here for so long, so you
need to create and make things happen and not be
a whiny little hmm and complain about stuff all the time.
We are here to make magic happen. And Carla's book
(24:30):
is all about that. She has a wealth of information
and you'll be doing book signs around town and talks
around town, all the info on your website and your Instagram.
And it's available on Amazon already.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Right or pre order, oh yeah, pre order Amazon, Bards
and Noble target wspots.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah. Stop trying. The live transforming power of trying less
and doing more by Carla Androsik. It's about getting you
a fart up to be more of a doer and
less of a complainer who tries and waste a lot
of time talking about stuff. This is just going to
get you fired up to start taking action and getting
things done.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm not trying to empower people. I am empowering it.
You are doing it. I will catch you every time
you say that word, the big bonker that comes down
from the sign, like bonk you on the head, zoich.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
In my face. It's amazing and I appreciate this whole
thing that you're doing. And it's really just to put
this out there to some people that are listening right
now about less of the t word, less of the try,
and more of the doing. Let's get people fired up
to live and do great things. So thank you so
much for the book Stop Trying. Order it now on Amazon,
and you have a big book event on the West
(25:41):
Side in a couple of weeks so they can follow
all that and find out more on your website and
also carl it Andrassic on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Thank you Lisa so much.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Love you girl, appreciate your time. And now we're going
to just do this. We just did it. See we
did it. We did the interview. We did it. We're
not going to try to talk on the radio in it.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Yes, we can do it.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Yay. Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. This is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Thank you, Thanks, thanks
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