Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Scott Vordez Tesla. It's not justfor eighties alternative rock bands anymore. They
have a whole series of vehicles namedTesla, named after the band that did
a remake of Signs by five ManAcoustical Band or whatever. I thought they
(00:21):
were named after the inventor. No, the bann the band was named after
the inventor. No, the bandwas named after the forthcoming Elon Musk company,
and that company was named after theband. Wouldn't it be named before
then? No? No, it'sYin and yang. It's all in harmony.
So a woman has a warning forfellow Tesla drivers. She says,
(00:45):
so, I'm not driving in myTesla, right, it's fully charged.
I unplugged the car, go toget in, it shut the door,
and everything just shut down. Icouldn't open the windows, I couldn't unlock
the door. I was trapped thebreaker Yeah, she couldn't get in the
breaker box. And you think,what would the you're stuck in your car.
(01:08):
Oh, she really couldn't get out. She really couldn't get out.
So what having not driven to Tesla, I presume, lucy, but just
being stuck in a car, whatare the first things that you think of
here the computer failure or electronic failure, Like, how are you going to
(01:29):
get out? Oh, you knowthere's a failure. I got you stuck
in the car. How are yougoing to get out? Probably through the
trunk trunk. Well, because they'vegot that thing, that cord or release,
thank you for that. That beingkidnapped, it comes in quite handy.
Yeah, that has I'm telling Ididn't realize so many people knew about
the release on the trunk because theykeep escaping. I I go through all
(01:56):
this effort of stalking, finding justthe finding just the right moment, throwing
the sack over their head and throwingthem in the trunk and driving off,
and this is not easy, andthen they just get out and the next
thing I know, I look upand my trunk door is open and the
guy's running off. I'm like sonof a gun every time. Well,
(02:21):
it doesn't work now anyway, becauseeverybody knows about it. You cut the
end off and you just poked alittle bit of the cord back into the
little hole and it makes it looklike it's still intact. It took me
a long time to realize I neededa vehicle with a trunk it's before I
just thrown them in the back ofthe pickup bed and apparently it really got
escaped. Yeah, they can juststep out of that like, well,
(02:45):
now what am I gonna do?I went with the trunk and then you
know, then they got out ofthat. So then I bind their hands
and they would just you know,with their teeth, release the trunk and
then they get out. I tellyou it's it's taken. That's really morbid.
It's taken all the fun and easeout of a good solid kidnapping.
(03:07):
How did she get out? Scott, I'm in radio. How do you
think I'm gonna make my money unlessI got people paying ransom? So she's
stuck in the car. You atleast immediately think there's got to be a
way how to hear. Yeah,I can get out through the well.
There's always breaking the window too,and I've got one of those breaking the
window you think. I think awindow in a Tesla costs more than my
(03:29):
first three cars I ever bought,combined, cheaper than the battery a little.
I don't know how easy it isto break a window. If you've
got the window break little hand heldthing, you can do it. I've
got one. Do you really yeahfor going over bridges? Going over bridges?
Yep, yeah, of course youdo. I do, of course,
right there in the door. Youlive in West Omaha and the only
(03:53):
place you ever go is to andfrom the radio station. What bridges are
you driving over? Where you're goingto fall into a river? You could
drown in a bull? Do youhave a bridge that you drive over with
a bullet soup underneath it on yourway to work? Probably? Yeah,
probably, you're probably right. Probablynot soup. It's hobo stoop, you
(04:14):
know what. That was the firstthing I thought of. I was classy
enough not to say that I'm not. That's why we get along. So.
Well, this woman is stuck,and she's still stuck in the tesla.
She's like, are you guys gonnahelp me? I can't lay the
back seats down and get into thetrunk. That this tesla does not have
that capability. Okay, first thingyou'd think of, probably is I gotta
(04:38):
know, bang on the window andlet some passer by. No, I'm
in the car, They'll open thedoor. It's not the first thing I
think of. Well, let's callsomeone like, can you come let me
out? Of my car parking lot. Maybe you did then quickly realize,
probably as the phone was ringing,How in the world are they going to
get me out of this car?There's no right, there's no door handle.
(05:00):
You can't open the well. There'sgotta be some sort of door handle.
How do you get in? I'venever even stood next to one.
I'm sad in one. I thinksomeone opened the door for me, thanks
lady. So yeah, I mean, but you can't. If you can't
open the car from the inside,you also can't open the car from the
outside. Anyway. She tried,She called someone like, can you get
(05:21):
me? He can't get her out. So now you think, well,
I'll have to. Surely there isa manual right here in the glove box
where I keep my owner's manual andmy gloves, only the driving gloves,
right my driving gloves, and soso she goes to open the glove compartment.
(05:46):
Guess what what won't open? Thecar's battery even will stop the glove
box from opening. It's not justa latch. It's all Tesla powered.
It's powered by the tears of peoplewho follow Elon Musk on Twitter and complain
and cry all the time. Aboutthings he posts. Sorry, I guess
(06:09):
if I'm talking about elon Musk onTwitter, I should call it by its
new name that he gave it.X So now she requests emergency roadside assistance
through the Tesla app. They eventuallytexted her. They got back to her
and said, oh, you're stuckin your Tesla. You have to open
(06:32):
the secret latch to open the door. She's like, where's the secret latch.
That's a real good secret. It'sa secret. We didn't even tell
you. I mean, how manyplays where could it be? And at
some point they told her like,it's over here. Oh, you're not
gonna tell us. Well, thisstory doesn't actually say where it is.
(06:54):
It's super secret. But like mostelectric vehicles, Tesla has a main battery
the powers the car, and asmaller battery the powers the onboard electronics,
including the doors, the windows,the glove box. And when that battery
dies, the doors and windows don'twork. And she said, there's no
warning or nothing, it just dies. It's not even like a low battery
(07:15):
warning. For hey, you shouldget this new. I wonder how much
the smaller battery costs. It's probablynot a double as, probably not even
a D. No, it's sixhundred of them. It's six hundred double
a's double A batteries, and ifjust one of them goes out, they
all go out and you'll never knowwhere's one. No, you got to
(07:38):
replace them all. So she hadno idea there was a manual door release
or she'd ever need one. Soshe's now trying to spread the word far
and wide. Ladies, gentlemen,if you own a Tesla, well,
she's not doing a very good jobof it. She can't tell us where
it is. Look in the owner'smanual to find out where the manual door
(07:59):
release is. All right, I'massuming she got out. Then she says,
I talked with several Tesla owners.Woo, you got a lot of
friends who are Tesla owners, aren'tyou fancy? I talked to several Tesla
owners over the last few weeks,and none of them knew about it.
So I'm trying to educate drivers aboutthe important safety features. And she says,
it seems like the default for whenyou lose power should be the windows
(08:20):
and doors open, not locked.What if it's raining, it should be
reverse logic. And I don't understandwhy they don't do this. So find
out where your manual release is soyou can get out of your car,
or you know another thing you cando. You need to buy a car
that works like a car is supposedto you. What is her name?
(08:41):
First name? Tesla One, Tina, Tesla. One thing I have taken
from this story about Tina, Tessa, Tina, Tesla, Tessa, Tesla.
One thing I have taken about fromthe story about Tina. Don't tell
her any secrets. That girl's asieve. Yeah, show him everybody.
(09:05):
Yeah, she was in fight club, not anymore. Scott Gordies News Radio
eleven ten kfab Jeff email says,Hey, Hey, Jeff, I'm up
in Sioux City, Iowa, andI just wanted to say I love your
humor and you make my morning whileI'm on my route. Thanks man,
But that stresses me out now thatJeff is expecting the show to be funny.
(09:30):
That puts a lot of pressure onme. I like it better when
people come to the radio show anddon't expect it to be funny. And
we might occasionally be funny, butif they're coming here expecting funny, that's
a whole different level of stress andI don't need that in my life.
So Jeff, you know what,dude, go to hell. Man there
(09:54):
wrong attitude. What I'm not gonnasay it's wrong. I'm I'm just enjoying
reading emails here the woman who gotstuck in the test launch. And I
don't mean to make it like there'sjust some lady who got this has happened
to a lot of people if youmiss the story. There's a small battery
(10:18):
in the Tesla, not the bigold battery, small old battery which,
as Lucy pointed out, takes sixhundred Double A batteries. That's the small
battery in a Tesla. And ifthat, if that goes out, yeah,
it may or may not be true. Could be maybe it's double d's
batteries. So there's a When thatbattery goes out, the doors in the
(10:39):
windows don't work. And if you'reinside the car and the doors and windows
don't work, you're not getting outof the car unless you know where the
secret latch is. There's a manualrelease to open the door, and it's
in the car somewhere, and it'sa secret. And I think it'd be
even funnier if in every Tesla itwas in a different place. That's why
(11:03):
this story says, check your manualso it can tell you the location of
your manual door release. So ifit's me, I love an Easter egg
hunt or like a crossword or aword search. You know what, I've
never done that. I really wantto do one of those escape rooms.
(11:26):
You've never done that. You've neverdone an escape room? Oh yeah,
you should do that. I've doneit a couple of times. One time,
while working at Rod Kosh's Furniture onconsignment, some of my coworkers taped
me up in a box and lockedme in a storage closet kind of you.
Yeah, escape, Yeah, Ihad. I had to escape out
of that. That's a true story. By the way. I won't get
(11:46):
into the long explanation of all that, but yeah, I want to do
an escape room, but I thinkit'd be fun. You get locked in
your tesla, the battery's gone out, you can't open the door. You're
like, oh boy, I've beenwaiting for the day and you gotta And
then to make it even better,suddenly there's just one little battery in there,
(12:09):
like a little battery compartment that takestwo hundred triple A batteries that has
a faint little readout on the screenthat has a countdown clock. And at
the end of the countdown clock yourun out of air. So now the
clock is going and you've got togo all over the car and find the
manual release to get out of yourtesla. How exciting would that be?
(12:31):
How awful would that be? Oh? I'd be excited. It'd be fun.
You need to you know what Iused to tell people P in the
phone book? What we don't havephone books anymore? What psychiatry? Oh?
I thought you were telling me torelieve myself on a phone book.
(12:52):
The letter P P in the phonebook psychiatry is under s. No wonder
you haven't been treated. A Pmakes a sound psychi tree, that's an
S or maybe a C as incycle phonics. Fo Don emails and says,
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regarding the lady who was stuck inthe tesla, I thought you were
going to say. And to makethings worse, it began to rain and
she couldn't put the top up.See that's a good blonde joke. That's
a good blonde joke right there.If you didn't get it, you're blonde
or polish? Who are we allowedto call dumb? Anymore. I don't
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think anybody why why everyone's dumb?You can call radio people that just keep
hanging around being part of the showwhen you never invited them to be for
sixteen years, You've been trying toget rid of me? Aren't you loving
this? Isn't this like the bestpart of your day? She was said
(14:03):
as she's restrained to a chair withthe live mic in her face. Wilford
says, if I'm stuck in myTesla, I got my phone, I
would call my Tesla dealer and shout, get me out of hair. Thank
you for the email, Wilford.Lucy mentioned that you could drown in a
(14:24):
bowl of soup. Chris sent mea link to Peter Griffin at a restaurant
drowning in a bowl of soup.These water wings didn't help at all.
Rick says, that's enough about electriccars. Anyone who buys one should be
locked in it. Whoa, Hey, come on, if someone wants to
buy an electric car, go aheadand buy an electric car. It's when
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we're all mandated to have to buyan electric car that I'm right there with
you. Sarah says, why can'tyou just pull up on the lock?
Ah Sarah is Sarah from the past. Yes, just tell the horse to
(15:07):
open the door for you. Here'sanother company that's pulling back the reins h
on artificial intelligence. McDonald's says therains all right, I'm looking forward to
the story. Mickey D's says aftera thoughtful review, it's calling for a
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little break here with their partnership withIBM. IBM's artificial intelligence is responsible for
what at several locations around the country. And I don't know if what I've
experienced qualifies as the drive through AI, but I imagine it's something that I
think most of us have experienced,and that is, you get a bright,
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shiny, cheerful voice that greets youin the drive through, and you
think that's a robot. That's anAI robot. Most of the people who
work in these jobs aren't always thatchipper. Welcome to McDonald's. Will you
like go calm down? Will yoube using the mobile app today? No,
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I'm in the drive through. SoI thought maybe i'd just tell you
what I want and you'd give itto me at the window. Right,
So it says, welcome to McDonald's, and I take your order, Go
ahead and order when ready whatever,and you say I want a cheeseburger.
No, I want a hamburger.No, a cheeseburger, And now you'll
(16:40):
get nothing and like it. Sorry, I started going into your eighties movie
reference for this segment of the radioprogram Caddy Shack. I'll do it.
So you order your twenty piece chickenMcNugget. Oh is this for several people?
No, this just for me.Don't judge me. AI voice the
drive through window, you order yourfood, and then some people have experienced
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the worst thing, and that isthe artificial intelligence says, welcome to McDonald's.
What do you want? And hesaid, I want a whopper?
Like wrong restaurant, you idiot.So you actually order your food. I
want a quarter poundery with cheese.I want McNuggets, I want chicken wrap,
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I want a breakfast sandwich. Iwant pancakes. I want some orange
juice and a diet doctor pepper.And that's it, and then it reads
it back. You got a happymeal, you got a chicken sandwich,
you got a fish sandwich. You'relike, no, no, go ahead
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and drive through, go and drivearound. You're like, but no,
you got my order wrong. Apparentlythe AI order taking thing wasn't all accurate
in that exchange, and specifically whyMcDonald's is like, we got to call
time out on this is it notesin the story that the technology had trouble
(18:12):
interpreting different accents and dialects, leadingto inaccurate orders. Now is that now
accents? I mean you come tothis country totally legally through our southern border
on a terrorist watch list, andyou're released into the country and it will
(18:34):
figure it out later. It's notmy job. So you're in this country
through that super legal means that Iimagine America is okay with because the president
in the latest Fox News poll isup two points in a nationwide poll,
which means about squat since we don'tdo a nationwide majority vote. It has
(18:59):
to do with the electoral college map. But whatever. Anyway, you're in
this country and you just got herefrom insert foreign land and you have an
accent. I don't know what accentsI'm allowed to do on the radio anymore.
You know, if I sit hereand go, you know, you
just came here from Canada, that'sprobably all right. But then I say
(19:25):
you came here from Canada and theysay welcome, McDonald's, what do you
want, and you're like, upback, you know the standard Canadian accent.
Are you having a seizure? No, that's that's that's Canadian accent.
You know. Then you know McDonald'sjust like pull around. They don't know,
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they don't know what that is.But what if you're just as American
as Grandma's apple pie, but youcan't talk right, you don't talk good,
and you go up there and you'relike, yeah, I'll tell you
what I want to that's a doublecheeseburger. Like, take a guess at
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it. A lot of people whojust you can't understand a word they're saying.
And as far as I'm concerned,I think it's about time that the
people of America finally got one backon those who you when they had human
beings actually working the drive through,because that's the that's just the classic.
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So is that what we're doing,is that what they're doing, they're going
back to that. Somebody, yeahlive, yep, I want a cheeseburger,
large fry, and a large orangedrink, heard her her, her,
You got the adults from the CharlieBrown cartoons working the drive through.
(21:07):
Some fellow Doctor Demento fans will pickup on this whole bit. That's a
I want a cheeseburger, medium fryand a large orange drink. Did you
get that? Her? Her?Her large orange drink. My kids and
I love that bit. So nowI suddenly want to filet of fish and
(21:32):
a large orange drink. I'll beright back. Can you sing the old
McDonald's jingle? Two all be patties? That one? Yeah? That one?
Two all be pace BEI saucelas,cheese, pickles, sp seed bun
Wow. Scott Bories News Radio eleventen kfa B
Scott Vordez Tesla. It's not justfor eighties alternative rock bands anymore. They
have a whole series of vehicles namedTesla, named after the band that did
a remake of Signs by five ManAcoustical Band or whatever. I thought they
(00:21):
were named after the inventor. No, the bann the band was named after
the inventor. No, the bandwas named after the forthcoming Elon Musk company,
and that company was named after theband. Wouldn't it be named before
then? No? No, it'sYin and yang. It's all in harmony.
So a woman has a warning forfellow Tesla drivers. She says,
(00:45):
so, I'm not driving in myTesla, right, it's fully charged.
I unplugged the car, go toget in, it shut the door,
and everything just shut down. Icouldn't open the windows, I couldn't unlock
the door. I was trapped thebreaker Yeah, she couldn't get in the
breaker box. And you think,what would the you're stuck in your car.
(01:08):
Oh, she really couldn't get out. She really couldn't get out.
So what having not driven to Tesla, I presume, lucy, but just
being stuck in a car, whatare the first things that you think of
here the computer failure or electronic failure, Like, how are you going to
(01:29):
get out? Oh, you knowthere's a failure. I got you stuck
in the car. How are yougoing to get out? Probably through the
trunk trunk. Well, because they'vegot that thing, that cord or release,
thank you for that. That beingkidnapped, it comes in quite handy.
Yeah, that has I'm telling Ididn't realize so many people knew about
the release on the trunk because theykeep escaping. I I go through all
(01:56):
this effort of stalking, finding justthe finding just the right moment, throwing
the sack over their head and throwingthem in the trunk and driving off,
and this is not easy, andthen they just get out and the next
thing I know, I look upand my trunk door is open and the
guy's running off. I'm like sonof a gun every time. Well,
(02:21):
it doesn't work now anyway, becauseeverybody knows about it. You cut the
end off and you just poked alittle bit of the cord back into the
little hole and it makes it looklike it's still intact. It took me
a long time to realize I neededa vehicle with a trunk it's before I
just thrown them in the back ofthe pickup bed and apparently it really got
escaped. Yeah, they can juststep out of that like, well,
(02:45):
now what am I gonna do?I went with the trunk and then you
know, then they got out ofthat. So then I bind their hands
and they would just you know,with their teeth, release the trunk and
then they get out. I tellyou it's it's taken. That's really morbid.
It's taken all the fun and easeout of a good solid kidnapping.
(03:07):
How did she get out? Scott, I'm in radio. How do you
think I'm gonna make my money unlessI got people paying ransom? So she's
stuck in the car. You atleast immediately think there's got to be a
way how to hear. Yeah,I can get out through the well.
There's always breaking the window too,and I've got one of those breaking the
window you think. I think awindow in a Tesla costs more than my
(03:29):
first three cars I ever bought,combined, cheaper than the battery a little.
I don't know how easy it isto break a window. If you've
got the window break little hand heldthing, you can do it. I've
got one. Do you really yeahfor going over bridges? Going over bridges?
Yep, yeah, of course youdo. I do, of course,
right there in the door. Youlive in West Omaha and the only
(03:53):
place you ever go is to andfrom the radio station. What bridges are
you driving over? Where you're goingto fall into a river? You could
drown in a bull? Do youhave a bridge that you drive over with
a bullet soup underneath it on yourway to work? Probably? Yeah,
probably, you're probably right. Probablynot soup. It's hobo stoop, you
(04:14):
know what. That was the firstthing I thought of. I was classy
enough not to say that I'm not. That's why we get along. So.
Well, this woman is stuck,and she's still stuck in the tesla.
She's like, are you guys gonnahelp me? I can't lay the
back seats down and get into thetrunk. That this tesla does not have
that capability. Okay, first thingyou'd think of, probably is I gotta
(04:38):
know, bang on the window andlet some passer by. No, I'm
in the car, They'll open thedoor. It's not the first thing I
think of. Well, let's callsomeone like, can you come let me
out? Of my car parking lot. Maybe you did then quickly realize,
probably as the phone was ringing,How in the world are they going to
get me out of this car?There's no right, there's no door handle.
(05:00):
You can't open the well. There'sgotta be some sort of door handle.
How do you get in? I'venever even stood next to one.
I'm sad in one. I thinksomeone opened the door for me, thanks
lady. So yeah, I mean, but you can't. If you can't
open the car from the inside,you also can't open the car from the
outside. Anyway. She tried,She called someone like, can you get
(05:21):
me? He can't get her out. So now you think, well,
I'll have to. Surely there isa manual right here in the glove box
where I keep my owner's manual andmy gloves, only the driving gloves,
right my driving gloves, and soso she goes to open the glove compartment.
(05:46):
Guess what what won't open? Thecar's battery even will stop the glove
box from opening. It's not justa latch. It's all Tesla powered.
It's powered by the tears of peoplewho follow Elon Musk on Twitter and complain
and cry all the time. Aboutthings he posts. Sorry, I guess
(06:09):
if I'm talking about elon Musk onTwitter, I should call it by its
new name that he gave it.X So now she requests emergency roadside assistance
through the Tesla app. They eventuallytexted her. They got back to her
and said, oh, you're stuckin your Tesla. You have to open
(06:32):
the secret latch to open the door. She's like, where's the secret latch.
That's a real good secret. It'sa secret. We didn't even tell
you. I mean, how manyplays where could it be? And at
some point they told her like,it's over here. Oh, you're not
gonna tell us. Well, thisstory doesn't actually say where it is.
(06:54):
It's super secret. But like mostelectric vehicles, Tesla has a main battery
the powers the car, and asmaller battery the powers the onboard electronics,
including the doors, the windows,the glove box. And when that battery
dies, the doors and windows don'twork. And she said, there's no
warning or nothing, it just dies. It's not even like a low battery
(07:15):
warning. For hey, you shouldget this new. I wonder how much
the smaller battery costs. It's probablynot a double as, probably not even
a D. No, it's sixhundred of them. It's six hundred double
a's double A batteries, and ifjust one of them goes out, they
all go out and you'll never knowwhere's one. No, you got to
(07:38):
replace them all. So she hadno idea there was a manual door release
or she'd ever need one. Soshe's now trying to spread the word far
and wide. Ladies, gentlemen,if you own a Tesla, well,
she's not doing a very good jobof it. She can't tell us where
it is. Look in the owner'smanual to find out where the manual door
(07:59):
release is. All right, I'massuming she got out. Then she says,
I talked with several Tesla owners.Woo, you got a lot of
friends who are Tesla owners, aren'tyou fancy? I talked to several Tesla
owners over the last few weeks,and none of them knew about it.
So I'm trying to educate drivers aboutthe important safety features. And she says,
it seems like the default for whenyou lose power should be the windows
(08:20):
and doors open, not locked.What if it's raining, it should be
reverse logic. And I don't understandwhy they don't do this. So find
out where your manual release is soyou can get out of your car,
or you know another thing you cando. You need to buy a car
that works like a car is supposedto you. What is her name?
(08:41):
First name? Tesla One, Tina, Tesla. One thing I have taken
from this story about Tina, Tessa, Tina, Tesla, Tessa, Tesla.
One thing I have taken about fromthe story about Tina. Don't tell
her any secrets. That girl's asieve. Yeah, show him everybody.
(09:05):
Yeah, she was in fight club, not anymore. Scott Gordies News Radio
eleven ten kfab Jeff email says,Hey, Hey, Jeff, I'm up
in Sioux City, Iowa, andI just wanted to say I love your
humor and you make my morning whileI'm on my route. Thanks man,
But that stresses me out now thatJeff is expecting the show to be funny.
(09:30):
That puts a lot of pressure onme. I like it better when
people come to the radio show anddon't expect it to be funny. And
we might occasionally be funny, butif they're coming here expecting funny, that's
a whole different level of stress andI don't need that in my life.
So Jeff, you know what,dude, go to hell. Man there
(09:54):
wrong attitude. What I'm not gonnasay it's wrong. I'm I'm just enjoying
reading emails here the woman who gotstuck in the test launch. And I
don't mean to make it like there'sjust some lady who got this has happened
to a lot of people if youmiss the story. There's a small battery
(10:18):
in the Tesla, not the bigold battery, small old battery which,
as Lucy pointed out, takes sixhundred Double A batteries. That's the small
battery in a Tesla. And ifthat, if that goes out, yeah,
it may or may not be true. Could be maybe it's double d's
batteries. So there's a When thatbattery goes out, the doors in the
(10:39):
windows don't work. And if you'reinside the car and the doors and windows
don't work, you're not getting outof the car unless you know where the
secret latch is. There's a manualrelease to open the door, and it's
in the car somewhere, and it'sa secret. And I think it'd be
even funnier if in every Tesla itwas in a different place. That's why
(11:03):
this story says, check your manualso it can tell you the location of
your manual door release. So ifit's me, I love an Easter egg
hunt or like a crossword or aword search. You know what, I've
never done that. I really wantto do one of those escape rooms.
(11:26):
You've never done that. You've neverdone an escape room? Oh yeah,
you should do that. I've doneit a couple of times. One time,
while working at Rod Kosh's Furniture onconsignment, some of my coworkers taped
me up in a box and lockedme in a storage closet kind of you.
Yeah, escape, Yeah, Ihad. I had to escape out
of that. That's a true story. By the way. I won't get
(11:46):
into the long explanation of all that, but yeah, I want to do
an escape room, but I thinkit'd be fun. You get locked in
your tesla, the battery's gone out, you can't open the door. You're
like, oh boy, I've beenwaiting for the day and you gotta And
then to make it even better,suddenly there's just one little battery in there,
(12:09):
like a little battery compartment that takestwo hundred triple A batteries that has
a faint little readout on the screenthat has a countdown clock. And at
the end of the countdown clock yourun out of air. So now the
clock is going and you've got togo all over the car and find the
manual release to get out of yourtesla. How exciting would that be?
(12:31):
How awful would that be? Oh? I'd be excited. It'd be fun.
You need to you know what Iused to tell people P in the
phone book? What we don't havephone books anymore? What psychiatry? Oh?
I thought you were telling me torelieve myself on a phone book.
(12:52):
The letter P P in the phonebook psychiatry is under s. No wonder
you haven't been treated. A Pmakes a sound psychi tree, that's an
S or maybe a C as incycle phonics. Fo Don emails and says,
(13:20):
regarding the lady who was stuck inthe tesla, I thought you were
going to say. And to makethings worse, it began to rain and
she couldn't put the top up.See that's a good blonde joke. That's
a good blonde joke right there.If you didn't get it, you're blonde
or polish? Who are we allowedto call dumb? Anymore. I don't
(13:41):
think anybody why why everyone's dumb?You can call radio people that just keep
hanging around being part of the showwhen you never invited them to be for
sixteen years, You've been trying toget rid of me? Aren't you loving
this? Isn't this like the bestpart of your day? She was said
(14:03):
as she's restrained to a chair withthe live mic in her face. Wilford
says, if I'm stuck in myTesla, I got my phone, I
would call my Tesla dealer and shout, get me out of hair. Thank
you for the email, Wilford.Lucy mentioned that you could drown in a
(14:24):
bowl of soup. Chris sent mea link to Peter Griffin at a restaurant
drowning in a bowl of soup.These water wings didn't help at all.
Rick says, that's enough about electriccars. Anyone who buys one should be
locked in it. Whoa, Hey, come on, if someone wants to
buy an electric car, go aheadand buy an electric car. It's when
(14:46):
we're all mandated to have to buyan electric car that I'm right there with
you. Sarah says, why can'tyou just pull up on the lock?
Ah Sarah is Sarah from the past. Yes, just tell the horse to
(15:07):
open the door for you. Here'sanother company that's pulling back the reins h
on artificial intelligence. McDonald's says therains all right, I'm looking forward to
the story. Mickey D's says aftera thoughtful review, it's calling for a
(15:28):
little break here with their partnership withIBM. IBM's artificial intelligence is responsible for
what at several locations around the country. And I don't know if what I've
experienced qualifies as the drive through AI, but I imagine it's something that I
think most of us have experienced,and that is, you get a bright,
(15:52):
shiny, cheerful voice that greets youin the drive through, and you
think that's a robot. That's anAI robot. Most of the people who
work in these jobs aren't always thatchipper. Welcome to McDonald's. Will you
like go calm down? Will yoube using the mobile app today? No,
(16:17):
I'm in the drive through. SoI thought maybe i'd just tell you
what I want and you'd give itto me at the window. Right,
So it says, welcome to McDonald's, and I take your order, Go
ahead and order when ready whatever,and you say I want a cheeseburger.
No, I want a hamburger.No, a cheeseburger, And now you'll
(16:40):
get nothing and like it. Sorry, I started going into your eighties movie
reference for this segment of the radioprogram Caddy Shack. I'll do it.
So you order your twenty piece chickenMcNugget. Oh is this for several people?
No, this just for me.Don't judge me. AI voice the
drive through window, you order yourfood, and then some people have experienced
(17:03):
the worst thing, and that isthe artificial intelligence says, welcome to McDonald's.
What do you want? And hesaid, I want a whopper?
Like wrong restaurant, you idiot.So you actually order your food. I
want a quarter poundery with cheese.I want McNuggets, I want chicken wrap,
(17:29):
I want a breakfast sandwich. Iwant pancakes. I want some orange
juice and a diet doctor pepper.And that's it, and then it reads
it back. You got a happymeal, you got a chicken sandwich,
you got a fish sandwich. You'relike, no, no, go ahead
(17:51):
and drive through, go and drivearound. You're like, but no,
you got my order wrong. Apparentlythe AI order taking thing wasn't all accurate
in that exchange, and specifically whyMcDonald's is like, we got to call
time out on this is it notesin the story that the technology had trouble
(18:12):
interpreting different accents and dialects, leadingto inaccurate orders. Now is that now
accents? I mean you come tothis country totally legally through our southern border
on a terrorist watch list, andyou're released into the country and it will
(18:34):
figure it out later. It's notmy job. So you're in this country
through that super legal means that Iimagine America is okay with because the president
in the latest Fox News poll isup two points in a nationwide poll,
which means about squat since we don'tdo a nationwide majority vote. It has
(18:59):
to do with the electoral college map. But whatever. Anyway, you're in
this country and you just got herefrom insert foreign land and you have an
accent. I don't know what accentsI'm allowed to do on the radio anymore.
You know, if I sit hereand go, you know, you
just came here from Canada, that'sprobably all right. But then I say
(19:25):
you came here from Canada and theysay welcome, McDonald's, what do you
want, and you're like, upback, you know the standard Canadian accent.
Are you having a seizure? No, that's that's that's Canadian accent.
You know. Then you know McDonald'sjust like pull around. They don't know,
(19:52):
they don't know what that is.But what if you're just as American
as Grandma's apple pie, but youcan't talk right, you don't talk good,
and you go up there and you'relike, yeah, I'll tell you
what I want to that's a doublecheeseburger. Like, take a guess at
(20:18):
it. A lot of people whojust you can't understand a word they're saying.
And as far as I'm concerned,I think it's about time that the
people of America finally got one backon those who you when they had human
beings actually working the drive through,because that's the that's just the classic.
(20:45):
So is that what we're doing,is that what they're doing, they're going
back to that. Somebody, yeahlive, yep, I want a cheeseburger,
large fry, and a large orangedrink, heard her her, her,
You got the adults from the CharlieBrown cartoons working the drive through.
(21:07):
Some fellow Doctor Demento fans will pickup on this whole bit. That's a
I want a cheeseburger, medium fryand a large orange drink. Did you
get that? Her? Her?Her large orange drink. My kids and
I love that bit. So nowI suddenly want to filet of fish and
(21:32):
a large orange drink. I'll beright back. Can you sing the old
McDonald's jingle? Two all be patties? That one? Yeah? That one?
Two all be pace BEI saucelas,cheese, pickles, sp seed bun
Wow. Scott Bories News Radio eleventen kfa B
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