FULL SHOW POD: The Woody Show December 9th 2025 Podcast

I even grossed myself out, News Headlines, Bert Kreischer & More! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
What's due to the graphic nature of this.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Program listener discretion?

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Is it lies.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
The Woody Show.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
America.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
This is the Woody Show Insensitivity Training.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Class is now in session.

Speaker 5 (00:44):
A good morning everybody. Again, it is Tuesday.

Speaker 6 (00:49):
It is December the ninth, twenty twenty five. Hello, welcome
to it. My name's Woody. We are The Woody Show.
That's Greg Gory. We got Menace Hi is our social
media director.

Speaker 5 (01:00):
You can find us, you.

Speaker 6 (01:00):
Can follow us, look for us there at the Woody Show.
Gina grag Good morning. There is Sea Banks. We've got
Sammy Morgan is here. She's our associate producer. We got
Von our video producer. Dumbass Tyler is here, as is
Bort and Menji. The team is all here and we're
provide a very mediocre listening experience for you this morning.

(01:21):
It's it's Tuesday. You know, we'll do what we can.
Not the most exciting day, but coming up for you today,
we have a special in studio guest, Burt Kreischer. The
Machine Nice Bert is gonna be stopping by. Yeah, so
we're gonna we're gonna have that. We've also got the
trending news headlines MESICNA tell us what's happening in the
world of entertainment. We've got the Birthday's porn of Birthday

(01:42):
on the way, that more, whatever else we could do,
get through the morning as quickly as we can on
the Woody Show. Phones are open eight seven seven, send
us eight texts. Like I said, check in over to
two to nine eight seven. So when it comes to
what people want as a gift this year for the holiday,
people were asked.

Speaker 5 (02:01):
What is it.

Speaker 6 (02:01):
You know, so people want cash?

Speaker 5 (02:03):
You got cash?

Speaker 6 (02:04):
You don't say want cash? Fifty eight percent people said
they just prefer to receive money.

Speaker 5 (02:10):
That's a gift.

Speaker 7 (02:11):
Pay my bills.

Speaker 6 (02:12):
The average person is hoping for a round six hundred dollars.

Speaker 8 (02:17):
I would hope that that's one hell.

Speaker 5 (02:20):
Of a gift.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Uh yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:23):
So as far as what they want, let's see here.
I had it all broken down for you. Cash and money,
that's number one. Fifty eight percent wearables, so accessories, clothes, shoes, shoes, jewels,
stuff like that. Twenty nine percent member getting clothes as
a kid. It was like a punishment.

Speaker 5 (02:40):
I hated that it was the worst.

Speaker 6 (02:42):
Stupid belts and stuff, essentials so rent utilities, sure, you know,
things like that and maybe you need a new appliance,
you need a new refrigerator, a new Washington driver, stuff
like that. Gifted experiences people would love to get as
a present of full trip with airfare and hotels.

Speaker 5 (03:03):
I'm down.

Speaker 6 (03:05):
Concert tickets, yeah, or like a like a staycasion, like
a local travel experience kind of close to home.

Speaker 7 (03:11):
Those gonna be very fun.

Speaker 6 (03:12):
And then after that you got gadgets and techs, so
gaming systems, smart devices and computers. And then uh, way
down in the list after that's like more of the
trendy stuff, the Stanley mugs, the skincare products, the La
Boo Boos.

Speaker 9 (03:25):
My God switch for for Christmas this year for them
to play. It's but they want to have one at
their house. They can learn how to play with their grandkids.

Speaker 5 (03:38):
Ye, Mario car, that's easy.

Speaker 6 (03:40):
They can't. Actually, yeah, I mean you guys buy yourself anything.

Speaker 10 (03:45):
Usually, if I set out to do Christmas shopping, the
first thing I buy is for myself. It's like the
only time of the year, though, find something and think
I'm getting.

Speaker 6 (03:54):
This from me.

Speaker 7 (03:55):
I'm not looking for it, like I know what I'm
buying myself this year. But there's something want I'll be like, yeah,
look at me.

Speaker 6 (03:59):
But it's a little yeah. I mean that's how most
people are just kind of like throughout the year.

Speaker 7 (04:04):
I just call it a little treat.

Speaker 6 (04:05):
But if there's like like any one bigger thing, you know, yeah.

Speaker 11 (04:08):
I mean there is, but I'm in the middle of moving,
so I don't even know if I'm gonna have the
space for it.

Speaker 6 (04:13):
But I do want a simulator. Sim I knew already, like.

Speaker 5 (04:18):
I already saw the one I want.

Speaker 6 (04:20):
Why not just get you and that I can come
over because I've always wanted to have one of these.
Remember the old like stand up arcade games. Let's get
pole positioned. Yeah, hell yeah, there you go down.

Speaker 5 (04:32):
That's super fun.

Speaker 6 (04:33):
Pole position close enough, super.

Speaker 7 (04:36):
The best driving games.

Speaker 5 (04:39):
Yeah that's a shifter.

Speaker 11 (04:47):
But you know, like just with like a flight simulator, dude,
they go from like affordable to like, why I just
buy a car?

Speaker 6 (04:56):
I'm actually looking at a flight simulator?

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Really?

Speaker 6 (04:59):
What how big are they? You can get different it depends.
You can get like a desktop kind of version of it.
You can get like a full on it where you're
surrounded by screens and something. First of all, take up
a whole room. That's a ton of room. It's a
boatload of money for stuff like that, and for the
purposes that I would I would want it for. You know,

(05:21):
I don't I don't need something super big like that
because I have an actual plane.

Speaker 12 (05:24):
Exactly you want it for since you have an actual plane.

Speaker 6 (05:26):
Because before, like for flying at least it's the same
avionics that I would have in the plane. So it's
the exact same stuff. So uh, let's say I'm planning
on taking a trip and it's an airport to a
flight that I've never done before. I can, Oh, you
could practice. You can get familiar, get familiar with the routing,
you can get familiar with the airport. You can get
familiar with all the stuff, all the different approaches and

(05:48):
departures and things like that before you even go, which
makes it a lot. It actually makes it. It makes
it a lot safer. And also you can use it
for you can use it for your for your currency.
With instrument training, you can do a certain amount of
like hours.

Speaker 11 (06:01):
And Sammy with the race simulator, it's like if there's
a race happening this weekend, I could do the same
track and it's like I did the race too.

Speaker 6 (06:11):
Yeah, it's basically just it's it's another form of gaming.

Speaker 9 (06:16):
Really, yeah, yeah, for sure. What he is as functional,
like hello, sir, you're welcome to New York. We're happy
to have you here.

Speaker 5 (06:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (06:22):
Well, these flight simulars are pretty like a friend of
mine he does like the Microsoft Flight Simulator, And there's
all kinds of cool stuff that you could do with that.
Just for people who have like a casual interest in
loops and stuff.

Speaker 7 (06:34):
What I'm saying like, don't waste it on real things,
like just do barrel rolls and fight people. I mean,
you could so fun, do top gun.

Speaker 5 (06:41):
You could.

Speaker 6 (06:42):
As far as what the kids are asking for for Christmas,
this this one mom she posted a video and it
was talking about what her eleven year old Christmas look
list looks like and she and she started with calling
it very reasonable. Okay, all right, so I'll read you
what the eleven year old wants and you tell me
this sounds reasonable?

Speaker 5 (07:00):
Okay.

Speaker 6 (07:00):
And I don't know what the brand of the sweatshirt is,
but I know what it is because like my daughter
talks about it every once in a while. But it's
like a ninety dollars sweatshirt, which which which also sounds No,
it's not that, but it also sounds crazy until you
go to like a concert and you see what they
charge for a hood merch right, yeah, ninety eight dollars

(07:21):
Lululemon leggings.

Speaker 7 (07:23):
Oh yeah, over that.

Speaker 12 (07:24):
Wait, how old is the girl level?

Speaker 6 (07:27):
Is there any difference between like regular leggings and the
Lulu Lemon ones?

Speaker 5 (07:30):
Yea, I appreciate.

Speaker 6 (07:33):
I'm saying like if somebody the logo, if you're standing
there and you had a pair of Lululemons on, I
would be able to sit there and like from across
the room, notice that, Oh those are the Lulu lemonsing
the logo.

Speaker 7 (07:44):
Well, they're tighter and spanksier.

Speaker 12 (07:46):
Right, they are tighter. They're going to last longer, and
they're not going to be see through last. Yeah, they
will there.

Speaker 7 (07:52):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (07:52):
Same.

Speaker 7 (07:52):
Remember that whole controversy that people were bending over at
yoga cars go, I see you're smart.

Speaker 12 (07:57):
Yeah, years ago. There, it's a little debacle with that.

Speaker 5 (08:00):
But to this point, isn't Alo the new Lulu Lemon.

Speaker 13 (08:02):
Yes, but anything that's a little bit higher end is
going to be nicer than something that you get at Target.

Speaker 12 (08:07):
It's gonna last longer. You're gonna feel better in it.

Speaker 11 (08:09):
The problem is with Alo though it got super big,
super quick, now it's already fallen off.

Speaker 9 (08:14):
Good because that's the way over every basic bitch. I
see now it has used to have. Ten years ago,
they had little Lemon. I'll tell you in just two
seconds here what the sweatshirt is. Yeah, I'm dying to
out these girls. They love these these stupid shirts.

Speaker 12 (08:27):
And ninety dollars is how much a sweatshirt is?

Speaker 5 (08:30):
God shop?

Speaker 6 (08:32):
Really, she's not going to pick up well measy, and
who's and she should know what I'm calling from work?
It usually means there's something important, and who's wearing through leggings?

Speaker 5 (08:44):
Sorry?

Speaker 6 (08:44):
Sorry, I think I hung it just as she Hello, Hi, Hey,
what's the what's the those sweatshirts that she likes? What
are those sweatshirts?

Speaker 5 (08:52):
Like? They're crazy expensive and she talks about them all
the time.

Speaker 7 (08:57):
Oh, are we the air?

Speaker 5 (09:00):
Yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Right hold on.

Speaker 6 (09:06):
Oh yeah, I have it right here, which means we're
buying one. It's on her list, yeah, because she wants
on her.

Speaker 14 (09:14):
List only because she decided to try a bleach pen.

Speaker 5 (09:18):
Oh is that the one? So she already had one
of those?

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah, she's got two of them.

Speaker 5 (09:22):
Oh my one. So what what's it called? Pink palm
palm pops?

Speaker 6 (09:29):
Pink palm puff? Yeah, like Jeff palm, like.

Speaker 7 (09:36):
Palm tree palm pop.

Speaker 14 (09:39):
I mean it's like whatever is cool on TikTok with
all these like tweens and like young teenage girls.

Speaker 6 (09:44):
Yeah, I mean it's like, I mean, they're like these
crazy thick because now I know the one she's talking
about with that she used she tried to get a
stain off it with a tide pen and justle Yeah,
but they're like these super heavy.

Speaker 5 (09:58):
I mean they are a really good quality.

Speaker 14 (10:00):
They are good quality, but yeah, it's you know, that's
ridiculous gift. I think two years ago said this was
one of two that she bleached. So the first one
is still standing.

Speaker 5 (10:12):
Yeah, would you say menace. The designs are pretty gaudy.

Speaker 7 (10:15):
Yeah, they're pretty basic.

Speaker 12 (10:17):
It looks yeah, it looks like Roxy to me.

Speaker 5 (10:19):
Yeah, like Roxy.

Speaker 14 (10:21):
These giant like the big giant pond and some of
them take.

Speaker 5 (10:25):
The entire back of the sweatshirt. Yeap. What do they
go for? How much do they go for? Eighty bucks?

Speaker 15 (10:32):
Okay, this says ninety plus tax of course, or twenty
five bucks on she and yeah the link loud love.

Speaker 6 (10:42):
Yeah, those those of you cancer and are super flammable.
But so all right, well thanks for picking up.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
Okay, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (10:50):
These are not super cute sweat No, these girls love
it old time. It just looks so bay giant wine flowers.

Speaker 6 (10:57):
Yes, this this woman's eleven year old. She wants the
ninety dollars sweatshirt, the ninety eight dollars Lululemon leggings. She
wants the new iPhone seventeen, and a bunch of makeup
and skincare products, which that stuff is also super huge
with these young girls, like the tweens and teens. And
so her Christmas list told U up to about eighteen
hundred bucks. Oh, a lot of people are flipping out.

Speaker 5 (11:20):
Imagine, yeah, sure she's worse that much. Let's work eighteen
hundred dollars.

Speaker 6 (11:23):
Yeah, yeah, no, probably that's that's a lot of chores, man, Yeah,
that's a lot of choice. And again going back to
I think we brought this up last week. I keep
seeing these videos where parents are asking their kids name
something you got for Christmas last year, and they can't
do it, and they say, name something that we did
as a family last year, like where did we go
last year? And right away, and they can tell you
about a thousand things from it. Something the experience stuff

(11:45):
seems to be way better, Like we just went on
this cruise, you know, like that's way better than whatever
this sweatshirt that she just ruined, you know.

Speaker 5 (11:53):
Eight seven seven forty four.

Speaker 6 (11:54):
Woodie hit us up with the text over to two
two nine eight seven.

Speaker 5 (11:59):
We got some more show for your next hang on
Woody show.

Speaker 16 (12:07):
Hey, everybody, it's managed. Join me Friday, December twelfth, from
noon to two pm in Glendale for the grand celebration
of the Salvation Armies brand new Glendale Thrift Store. I'll
have a bunch of gearaways for concerts, steam park tickets.
They'll even have coffee and donuts. Discover racks of stylish
clothing from everyday favorites to designer brands and one of
a kind treasure's, plus amazing deals on housewares and more.

(12:31):
When you shop or donate, you're helping reuse, recycle, and
support the Salvation Armies programs changing lives here in our Community's.

Speaker 6 (12:44):
All right, welcome back every mony. Well, yeah it is Tuesday.
It's December the ninth and the holidays. Say it's International
Anti Corruption Day.

Speaker 5 (12:52):
You gots that'll make change happy?

Speaker 6 (12:55):
Anti corruption Day, and we're all very excited. It's Christmas
card day.

Speaker 7 (12:58):
Oh yeah, I gotta get those send those out.

Speaker 6 (13:00):
What do you mean get those going? Isn't it too late?

Speaker 5 (13:04):
Certainly less than a week?

Speaker 7 (13:06):
Easy?

Speaker 6 (13:07):
Yeah, this would be the week to do it.

Speaker 9 (13:08):
You can even you can put them off like per.
What I do is for my grandmother all the time.
Like per, I could do a single custom card with
a single custom text.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
Have it.

Speaker 6 (13:16):
I'll be here at her house in four days.

Speaker 7 (13:17):
Yeah that.

Speaker 12 (13:18):
But you send your grandma Christmas cards, I will.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
Send her yeah yeah, ye. What's on the car?

Speaker 9 (13:23):
It's usually a picture of her great grandkids from Christmas.
And then I've got a bunch of.

Speaker 5 (13:30):
So you see.

Speaker 6 (13:30):
You send her the same picture every year, like you mean.

Speaker 9 (13:34):
Of yours or of my nieces and nephews enjoying their
Christmas presents, and then I'll send it to their great grandmother,
my grandmother.

Speaker 7 (13:44):
Their parents don't do that.

Speaker 5 (13:45):
Oh yeah, but this is.

Speaker 9 (13:46):
Like a special like for me, you know, because she's
because my great great great my grandmother is she's like
big into photography and art and stuff like that.

Speaker 5 (13:51):
So you're bonding and more. Yeah, it's actually rather thoughtful. Yeah,
was routing. I'm in there too as well.

Speaker 6 (14:01):
Yeah, forgot my Christmas tick brought on?

Speaker 9 (14:04):
Am I still get from her every Christmas and birthday?
Fifty dollars check handy?

Speaker 6 (14:11):
Oh nice? Yeah, I think I told you my grandfather
every year for your birthday, you would just get however
old you were, So if you were like twelve, if
you got twelve bucks.

Speaker 5 (14:20):
Oh wow, that's cute. Yeah, it's kill.

Speaker 6 (14:22):
Today's National pastry Day. Yes, it's National Lama Day, sure,
and a techno day ocho. Yeah, it was Today in
history nineteen nineteen seventeen ninety.

Speaker 5 (14:37):
Two, Yes, French Revolution something other.

Speaker 6 (14:42):
The first recorded cremation in America was conducted the guy.
He was a colonial statesman who specified in his will
how he wished his body to be disposed of. He
asked her body to be burned and his ashes scattered
over his plantation in North Carolina. I'm sure sure by
the help.

Speaker 7 (15:00):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 6 (15:03):
Also today in history, this is nineteen nineteen sixty Domino's
Pizza was found in Menace. So today I've got the
birthdays of the port of birthday coming up here in
just a second. First Menace gonna tell us what's happening
in the world of entertainment.

Speaker 11 (15:20):
Well, old school actor Dick Van Dyke is being talked
about a lot this week because his birthday is finally
on Saturday. He's gonna be turning one hundred years old,
and he believes that he lives so long because he
ditched two things. What were those two things, Greg.

Speaker 5 (15:33):
Gotta be cigarettes, I would guess probably drinking.

Speaker 7 (15:37):
Definitely alcohol.

Speaker 6 (15:38):
Yeah, I was thinking that, but I don't want to
say it's cigarettes and Mustang.

Speaker 5 (15:42):
Yeah, he went low carb.

Speaker 11 (15:48):
Your keto, Well, you are pretty much correct, because he
said that ditching booze and cigarettes helped him, and he
said that he was like super hardcore in the fifties
of drinking and smoke, and by nineteen seventy two he
checked himself into a hospital because he was just having
too much fun blown alcoholic and he admitted that quitting

(16:11):
those was really hard, but he's still today at one
hundred that the smoking was so hard to cut that
he still choose a nicotine gum.

Speaker 5 (16:21):
Really, yeah, I.

Speaker 6 (16:23):
Know people that kicked heroin and cigarettes on the same
day and they said heroin was way easier.

Speaker 9 (16:28):
Oh my god, And we should have seen the drinking
thing the whole time. She was always like falling over
furniture and stuff. Well also all of his old interviews,
he was like drinking and smoking.

Speaker 6 (16:39):
Everybody was America and the American because a while cigarettes
were healthy for.

Speaker 5 (16:44):
You, they would prescribe for stress.

Speaker 11 (16:47):
Yeah, amazing back when America ruled. Yeah, all right. Moved
on to Bethany Frankel. She is a Bravo TV and
alcohol mogul from Skinny Girl Vodka vodka.

Speaker 5 (16:59):
But she says that.

Speaker 11 (17:01):
She shouldn't begin hate because she's been racking up millions
of dollars in real estate profits from all the houses
that she's been buying and selling. But the reason, because
I'm getting into it, the reason that she responded like
this is because she is in Architectural Digest.

Speaker 5 (17:18):
Do you have that right?

Speaker 6 (17:19):
I get the print copy of it.

Speaker 11 (17:23):
She's getting a lot of hate because she's actually in
the latest issue and her Florida home is just getting
roasted by these people saying what were some of the quotes.

Speaker 5 (17:34):
The quotes were, what is this home?

Speaker 11 (17:36):
Goods all happening in one place, made in China dupes
featured in arch Now Architecture Yet we call it arc
ad not even bad taste, just no taste.

Speaker 5 (17:53):
You can look at up. They got a thing on
Entertainment Tonight's YouTube page.

Speaker 11 (17:57):
Rolling blind and accent wall paper, coffee tables made as
side tables.

Speaker 6 (18:03):
Dude.

Speaker 5 (18:04):
Yeah, wow, people are just scorching.

Speaker 6 (18:06):
I'm sure you'll read all about it, Greg and your
subscription to how About how About Greg gets any physical magazine?

Speaker 10 (18:13):
Still, I know it's pretty Yeah, it's a gift every
year from my father.

Speaker 6 (18:17):
Did you write a check and put it in the
envelope and send.

Speaker 10 (18:19):
It in for your gift from my dad? And he
renews it every year. But the thing I love.

Speaker 5 (18:25):
It to defend Greg.

Speaker 9 (18:25):
Yeah, Architectural Digest is this kind of thing you would
want a large, glossy photo of exactly.

Speaker 5 (18:30):
This is not just this is not people, you know.

Speaker 11 (18:33):
I just do see Greg roasting her house.

Speaker 10 (18:35):
Though I have gone on their Instagram page and I'll
criticize people's houses, just require a design her.

Speaker 8 (18:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (18:44):
She also followed up that she paid to sorry four
point two million dollars for this home, and she got
it at a discount because it was in foreclosure it's
actually worth six million dollars.

Speaker 7 (18:54):
You know, I don't. I've never really seen her on Housewives,
but I like her. She always pops up on my
Instagram and she's always calling out big companies for being
a holes and like like big brands like air, Mais
and Prada. I like her. She's a she's sassy, ballsy.

Speaker 11 (19:09):
Yeah, I'm off and on on Bethany. I mean, I
can't deny like she made something out of nothing and
became a multi millionaire of with this vodka company. But
sometimes like it's just too many comments on too many things.

Speaker 6 (19:24):
Her soho apartment looks sub home goods. It looks like.

Speaker 5 (19:30):
We're judging, yeah.

Speaker 11 (19:32):
Thinking in the kind of in the same realm. Moving
on to Zoey Deschanel. Who is h who is she?
It's a new girl, but she's also engaged to one
of the property brothers, Yeah, Jonathan Scott. And she was
asked on a red carpet just recently like, hey, uh,
why aren't you guys married yet? Because I thought they
were married, But they have had a long engagement since

(19:54):
twenty twenty three, so a couple of years, you didn't.

Speaker 5 (19:57):
I thought they're just boyfriend girlfriend really.

Speaker 11 (19:59):
Yeah, and she says, well, the bar is very high.
I'm putting our wedding together, so it's taking a long
time and we're in no rush because we're practically married already.

Speaker 7 (20:09):
So does I mean the bar is high on her
stupid wedding, like just get married?

Speaker 5 (20:14):
I don't know.

Speaker 11 (20:14):
Yeah, people are expecting like a super elaborate wedding for
some reason.

Speaker 6 (20:19):
We don't know, I would think, because you know, they're
just stupid money.

Speaker 11 (20:22):
Yeah, I don't know, but she says it's taking time
to put it all together. She's also it's her third marriage,
so I mean she's no rush.

Speaker 5 (20:29):
Yeah, she is married the guy from Ben Gibbert and
then Joe Jacob chigak narks.

Speaker 11 (20:34):
Oh sure, I don't know the Joe guy, but Ben
from the band job for Cutie Go, there you go.

Speaker 9 (20:41):
So she's like a total salute. Oh geez, she doesn't
know what death does his part means?

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Right?

Speaker 11 (20:49):
Okay, all right, Moving on to Star Wars fans, I
guess what You're gonna be able to watch Star Wars
the original in theaters the fiftieth anniversary that's coming up. Yes,
it was released in nineteen seventy seventh.

Speaker 5 (21:03):
Great like the.

Speaker 6 (21:04):
Nineteen seventy seven version of the one that they came
out with. Remember George Lucas did.

Speaker 5 (21:08):
All those digit Java.

Speaker 11 (21:09):
No, they said that it's not gonna You're not gonna
get the digit Java. It's gonna happen February nineteenth, twenty
twenty six, so you're gonna be able to watch the
og in theater.

Speaker 6 (21:18):
It was fun when I went to uh seed Back
to the Future in the theater back in October when
they did that for the anniversart.

Speaker 5 (21:25):
Yeah, that was cool.

Speaker 6 (21:26):
That's especially if it's one of your favorite movies. It's
cool to go back to the theater definitely and see.
It's a cool It would have.

Speaker 7 (21:32):
Been fun if they played old trailers. Yeah with it too.

Speaker 6 (21:35):
All right, thank you very much, menace, No problem, John
for the birthdays and your porn. On birthday here on
this Tuesday morning.

Speaker 5 (21:42):
Go show it's Shiverday. We're going It's Shiver Day. We're
gonna sit like it's Shiver Day, and you know we
don't do what birthday starting with the celebrities.

Speaker 6 (21:53):
Happy birthday to Simon Helberg, who was a Howard Wallawood
saw in the Big Bang Theory. He's forty five Cool
from Green Day is fifty three. Kurt Engel, the WWE
Superstar is fifty seven. Felicity Huffman from Desperate Housewives and
she was also Inmate number seven seven eight oh six
Dash one one two. Do you remember that that whole

(22:14):
college admissions?

Speaker 5 (22:15):
I think.

Speaker 6 (22:17):
She's sixty three today, also from Desperate Housewives. Jesse Metcalf,
he was like the gardener. Yeah, uh, Greg, John you right.
You just look up Jesse metca film you'll know. Oh yeah,
he was also in Dallas. He's forty seven years old today.

Speaker 12 (22:35):
He's also in some Hallmark movies like you.

Speaker 6 (22:38):
Dame Judy Dench is ninety one today, you recognize dude.
He was on Uhi.

Speaker 5 (22:45):
What was the first show you listed?

Speaker 6 (22:47):
Desperate house Bats? Yeah, as they never watched it. But
John Malcovich is seventy two. Actor Bow Bridges is eighty four.
And Donnie Osben, who I would have sworn was dead
like three decades ago.

Speaker 5 (22:58):
Really yeah, I don't. I never had.

Speaker 6 (23:00):
I always heard like the Osmond's right, yeah, and then
Donnie Osmond yea.

Speaker 5 (23:05):
And for whatever reason I put it back in like.

Speaker 6 (23:06):
The you know, the seventies, Yeah, like the Beach Blanket
Bingo kind.

Speaker 10 (23:10):
Of like, yeah, but he was shy basically, but I
had no idea I had Yeah in his sixties, right
he has he's sixty eight.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (23:17):
Next year it's gonna be one hell of a birthday
Mega hot next year. Yeah. Your porn of birthday today
is Stephanie Love in Today's Birthday Girl. She's been pounded
harder and longer than the heavy bag at Morgan's Gym
ninety five. Fine adult film she's been in, including Mormon
Milf Goes Double Vadge. She was in wood in the

(23:38):
Hood Volume one, also in Till Sex Do Us Part?
Stephanie's love sloppy and intense first anal she was in
Open House, Open Mouth, Nice Yeah, and then who can
forget her unfreedomble role in her Rumpus is Scrumptious Volume seven.
That's a Stephanie Love who's thirty five years old.

Speaker 5 (23:59):
Today. I'm at your corner birthday, your celebrity birthdays, and that.

Speaker 6 (24:03):
Is a Tuesday morning look at what's happening around the
world of entertainment here on the Woody Show.

Speaker 11 (24:12):
Show.

Speaker 5 (24:13):
All right, welcome back everybody.

Speaker 6 (24:15):
Hey, all right, So if you still think Sebastian Maniscalco
is funny. Here's some more therapy for that awesome. This
is another clip that somebody hitped us too. This is
another one from his Hulu special It Ain't Right, which
is just came out this year, and it's about couples
watching TV. And this is a really great example of it.

(24:37):
When you listen to what he says and you took
out the audience laughing, would you once crack a smile?
This cured me, cured me. Would you crack a smile
or a laugh? Because I don't know what they're laughing
at here, and I'm not just trying to knock the
guy to knock him at this point, like I'm literally

(24:59):
s like I'm literally curious, Like I'm baffled. I love
all right, here we go, so again Sebastian Maniscalco from
his Hulu special It Ain't Right. This is about couples
watching TV.

Speaker 4 (25:10):
We're not the TV couple. My wife and I we
don't watch a lot of TV. I'm sure everybody knows
a couple. That's that's all they do, telling you what
to watch. Why didn't you see him?

Speaker 8 (25:22):
They're like, oh my god.

Speaker 11 (25:29):
Rorris, why Probably he's probably doing something physical to.

Speaker 5 (25:36):
He's doing Doc Brown.

Speaker 6 (25:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (25:38):
But also and a lot of comedians talk about this too.
When they become super famous, they don't even know even that.
They asked themselves, did they think that they're what they're
doing is even funny.

Speaker 5 (25:50):
Because everyone's here to see me, they already love me.

Speaker 6 (25:53):
Yeah, alright, they got away till the fifth off or someone?

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Well, what.

Speaker 5 (26:05):
Sometimes we don't end up on random stuff.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
We're watching this Jeffrey Dahmer.

Speaker 17 (26:10):
If you don't know who Jeffrey Dahmer was, he was
eating people in the late eighties.

Speaker 5 (26:16):
Oh, will turn it on.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
Now.

Speaker 4 (26:20):
My wife is the positive wife, constantly asking me to
pause the program.

Speaker 5 (26:27):
Twenty minutes since she's like, could you pause it?

Speaker 2 (26:30):
Okay?

Speaker 5 (26:30):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (26:31):
What are we gonna talk about?

Speaker 4 (26:33):
She's like, I don't understand what's going on here.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
He's eating people.

Speaker 5 (26:39):
There's not a lot of plot, twist, fame. I don't
know what to tell you. He Got Hungry? That's the movie.

Speaker 6 (26:48):
Who doesn't know who Dahmer is?

Speaker 5 (26:51):
What just happened?

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Again?

Speaker 10 (26:53):
She put that into the AI program that you use
and take out the laughter. It would make it even
funny and it would be fun.

Speaker 6 (27:00):
Have you seen that where they do that with episodes
of Friends.

Speaker 5 (27:02):
Yes, it's weird, it's disturbing.

Speaker 6 (27:04):
There was this one episode I just saw, well, part
of an episode I saw where it was Ross and whoever.

Speaker 5 (27:12):
It was.

Speaker 6 (27:12):
Wasn't it the boss of Rachel's boss, who was played
by famous act Paul Rudd. Oh, Paul, Yeah, so yeah
it was. It was a scene between Ross and whoever.
Paul Rudd was Phoebe's boyfriend. And it was the most
awkward because man, nothing was funny and it was just
dead silent.

Speaker 11 (27:32):
It was so bad, but you thought it was funny
at the time because people were laughing.

Speaker 5 (27:36):
Oh yeah, you had the Q laugh.

Speaker 11 (27:38):
That's also what's happening in the arena. It was like, well,
other people are laughing, so I'm laughing.

Speaker 6 (27:42):
Yeah, it's like sympathy po game.

Speaker 5 (27:43):
Yeah. Eight seven seven forty four Woodie look.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
At it was just his look all right?

Speaker 6 (27:57):
And into another new hour in Stoctivity, Training for a
Politically Correct World. Wood Greg mannis Gina gram Seabath, Sammy
Morgan's here, what's up?

Speaker 5 (28:06):
Phones open?

Speaker 6 (28:07):
Eight seven seven four Woody text us over to nine
eight seven.

Speaker 5 (28:16):
I love a good Greg Gory confession.

Speaker 6 (28:19):
This is so gross, Greg Greg tells us stuff and
then immediately regrets, right, And I've never learned.

Speaker 10 (28:27):
Yeah he doesn't. It's been but it's weird. It's like
cathartic to something, and then you feel maybe normal.

Speaker 6 (28:36):
All you know is Greg said even he even grossed
himself out also, But God knows what this about. The regret,
it lasts for years and it never comes back to you.
I've heard a lot about it, you know, gross stuff
from Greg. Like he was trying to get that dog
turd out of the wood chips the landscaping, and the

(28:56):
wood chip kind of got stuck as he was trying
to like fling it, fling it in and all of
a sudden it released and the turd or part of
the turd went like right into his mouth.

Speaker 11 (29:07):
You can't recover from that dogs poop because that makes it,
it makes it a little better.

Speaker 6 (29:13):
Have you ever picked up a stranger's dogs poops?

Speaker 16 (29:16):
Nobody?

Speaker 2 (29:17):
I know.

Speaker 12 (29:17):
I've thought about it when I see it, and then I'm.

Speaker 5 (29:19):
Like, no, I'm not touching that.

Speaker 6 (29:20):
I've got I've got a really strong stomach. I've got
a very strong visual constitution, Like I can look at
a lot of stuff. You told one thing I cannot
do man, I cannot pick up dog pooper. I could
do it with the I could do it with the
scooper thing, but like getting down.

Speaker 5 (29:37):
You can't just do the bag and just I can
do it.

Speaker 6 (29:40):
But that is something that actually grosses me out. It
grossed out about stuff, but that grosses me out warm
I thought about you and then and then I thought
about you menace, because there was this post that popped
up and it was they were looking at uh at
stones under a microscope, like kidney stones under a microsco

(30:00):
and that grossed me out about how that just kind
of naturally formed these perfect ninety degree angles. It looked
like it looked like the Fortress of Solitude from Superman.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
It does.

Speaker 6 (30:11):
I'm like, yeah, gusting enough if somebody had sculpted, like, oh,
that's cool. But the fact that it just formed naturally.

Speaker 7 (30:21):
Found out about you what he is you're afraid of
or grossed out by dots?

Speaker 6 (30:25):
Not afraid it's growth the tripophobia thing. Yeah, it's not afraid,
it's just it's it's gross, Like you never learned about that.

Speaker 7 (30:33):
Yeah, my kid has that. I thought it was fake
until what he's like, No, I have it.

Speaker 6 (30:36):
But most things gross. Greg got but the fact that
he even grossed himself.

Speaker 10 (30:41):
Yeah, it's and it's there's some I guess, level of
shame to it that it's so it's twofold. My parents
recently visited. They stay in the guest room and when
they leave, when when any guest leaves my house, I
start cleaning immediately, so within one hour it looks like
nobody had been there. So I was doing this simple
chore of stripping the bed of the sheets, washing them,

(31:03):
and then making the bed. And what did that chore
make me do? Sweat Like it's not even that hot,
and I was sweating, and I thought, Okay, first of all,
that's disgusting. Why am I sweating by doing a simple chore?
Make it probably making the bed? And I thought, that
is disgusting. I'm so gross. How am I sweating doing simple.

Speaker 6 (31:25):
But still it's a you're doing some kind of like
physical activity.

Speaker 10 (31:28):
But barely disproportionately sweaty to the point where I thought,
you know what, I should probably take another shower. That's
how sweaty I am?

Speaker 5 (31:39):
Gross?

Speaker 10 (31:40):
How gross is that? So I take a shower and
then I shortly after that time to go to bed.
So I'm still not damp from the shower. But I'm
freshly showered and I'm lying in bed, and I have
an itch right around my belly button. So I start scratching,
and I end up putting my finger into my belly
button and I scoop out what felt like four pounds

(32:03):
of wet junk. I don't know if it was just
lint or lint or cotton.

Speaker 6 (32:12):
Or it was an indescribable like lint ball.

Speaker 5 (32:16):
I guess lint would be cotton kind of well, yeah,
I guess so cotton shirts kind of grayish wet because
it just showered, and so what do I do with it?
Of course I had to smell it.

Speaker 6 (32:27):
Yeah, anytime for whatever reason, anytime you like you scratch
your balls or put your finger in your belly button.

Speaker 5 (32:33):
I don't know if it's just a dude thing.

Speaker 11 (32:35):
The women do that too, like you smell it, smell it. Oh,
I had to smell it, and it was vile. You
gotta check if you're clean.

Speaker 5 (32:42):
So gross? Do you do that right?

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Menace?

Speaker 5 (32:43):
Of course?

Speaker 6 (32:44):
Yeah, Like if you have you scratched behind your ear
or you guys fellas, do you guys do that? Like
you put your finger in your belly button, scratch your
nuts or something like that. You gotta smell your fingers,
smell it.

Speaker 5 (32:53):
I don't do that, Tyler, how about you.

Speaker 6 (32:54):
I'm sure Tyler does it. God, no, monster, I don't
want to.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
Of course he does.

Speaker 6 (33:00):
Every five minutes, rub the back of your ear and
smell it. You ever get like an inch like maybe
the top of your ass, and you scratch that and
then you smell that.

Speaker 7 (33:07):
Well, I guess it's like a caveman thing, like to
see if you're healthy.

Speaker 6 (33:10):
I'm sure that's what it is. It goes back to caveman.

Speaker 5 (33:13):
Sorry, you just like it again. It's testing like how.

Speaker 6 (33:17):
Clean you are? An extra I know.

Speaker 10 (33:20):
I almost did too, and I was like making myself
ill by smelling. It smelled so bad and it was,
uh it kept going. I thought, how deep is the
belly button? So I do the scoop and I get
a good chunk of it out to the point where
I I ball it up, you know, and I like
went like I kind of like less of a flick

(33:42):
and more like a little tossed to the floor.

Speaker 6 (33:44):
And I have that you would do that.

Speaker 10 (33:47):
And I have a rug on my bedroom floor and
when it hit the rug, it kind of went like
you could hear it Land, You hear it Land?

Speaker 5 (33:54):
Wow?

Speaker 6 (33:55):
Is that bad you when you shower you don't clean
your belly button?

Speaker 5 (33:58):
I thought, I did you know?

Speaker 6 (34:00):
I dig in there now because I had kind of
the similar experience with you, Like there was one point
where I did have an itch and I itched it
and I felt like a you know, like kind of
like a like a like a belly button booger. Yeah,
And I got it out there. And from that point
on it was like, man, I really get in there.
I make sure there's a ton of soap in there.
And it hurts though. And also as a fat guy, Uh,
your belly button's deep, yeah, but it's not clean.

Speaker 5 (34:24):
It can get like really itchy, and then it gets
itchy and.

Speaker 10 (34:26):
Then it gets red after you scoop everything out. So
now in the shower, I do make a point to
kind of get in there. But this particular time, I
was like, have I ever cleaned? Have you ever cleaned
your house? And you think, especially you would, you're a
clean guy, And then you move a table or a
couch and you think, have I ever cleaned?

Speaker 7 (34:45):
Field of dust bunnies?

Speaker 10 (34:46):
That's how I feel about my body. I'm a clean guy.
Until I did this, I thought, what the hell have
I ever cleaned myself?

Speaker 6 (34:54):
And even when you do clean your belly button after
during showers or whatever, like, man, it could be the
middle of the day and you scratching there and you
could smell like for whatever reason, it creates a funk.
Dig your finger in your belly button right now and
then take a whip and swirl it around around. Remember
I used to have to do COVID test with a
little swabby.

Speaker 7 (35:16):
It doesn't okay, it doesn't smell like anything, but I'm
also getting over cold, that's anything.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Greg.

Speaker 12 (35:22):
So how long did you play with this thing before
you finally put it in.

Speaker 10 (35:24):
The I had to make sure that I was empty,
so like there was nothing in there. So let's just know,
let's say five minutes.

Speaker 5 (35:31):
I can't believe you put it on the floor.

Speaker 6 (35:32):
That's like I would vacuum it. But when you had it,
you were rolling in your fingers. Did you hold onto
it for a while because you kept like.

Speaker 10 (35:38):
You know, you got to make sure it's throwable because
it sometimes you roll it around and then it just
sticks to your finger. So I made sure it was
dry enough to throw it. I do that when I
get like a really good booger. Sometimes like I'll just
like like, man, this thing is massive. I almost like
just keep not admiring it, but you just keep like
looking at it before you toss it. Have you ever

(35:58):
done it where it's like so goofy and wet that
you kind of stretch your fingers apart and it's like
pizza dough.

Speaker 6 (36:05):
And then you balllet ballt.

Speaker 11 (36:08):
Or if you have like a really big toenail that
you remove, yeah, piece of toe skin and it's like
you're like you're kind of proud of it, so you
kind of display it and look at it.

Speaker 5 (36:19):
I don't have like we're like, like you have toe
heel toe heels get dry and I'll like scrape them off.

Speaker 6 (36:27):
With You get a little big piece and you're like, oh,
that's huge Minnesota, like super thick, almost like a shoe.

Speaker 5 (36:37):
Yeah, like thickness, callous.

Speaker 10 (36:41):
It's kind of like an oil change for your car.
You kind of forget about it and then until it's due.
So this is let this be a reminder clean out
your belly button, okay, because it's foul. It was gross
and I and I felt disgusting. I felt like that's
such a loser.

Speaker 7 (36:56):
Is this a gender thing? Because mine, I really don't
believe it smell.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
Smelling.

Speaker 12 (37:02):
I mean I have more of like an any OUTI
stuff can't get stuck in it.

Speaker 5 (37:05):
Any audi, in any audi, I.

Speaker 7 (37:07):
Don't smell anything you want to smell it?

Speaker 6 (37:09):
No, there there, And you got big nails too, like
you could really do the yeah yeah, get yeah, she
samples get.

Speaker 5 (37:18):
Down into her soul. Yea with those things, I feel
I feel you it was gross.

Speaker 6 (37:23):
Yeah, I feel it was never ending eight seven seven
forty four. What a lot of people are you know,
relating to you on the text now that some people said,
you know, just getting older is the worst, you know,
Like Greg, I feel you stuff like that. Maybe you're
going through menopause. It's you're sweating so easily.

Speaker 5 (37:40):
Maybe these are the hot flash manopause, male menopod.

Speaker 7 (37:45):
Well, I'm sure your hormones are changing really yeah.

Speaker 6 (37:48):
Are becoming more chicklike. I mean like chicks become more
dude like, and dudes become more chick like.

Speaker 5 (37:53):
I walk from the washing machine to the bedroom and
make a bed and I sweat.

Speaker 7 (37:59):
Well aesthetic were you sick?

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Did you have?

Speaker 12 (38:02):
It could also be like vitamins. I started getting night
sweats and it was because I was low on iron.

Speaker 7 (38:08):
Eat more stakums.

Speaker 5 (38:09):
I mean, you are pretty fat. I know.

Speaker 6 (38:11):
Well you can said you were text to two dine
seven use a Q tube of peroxide for your belly
button because you can actually get a yeast infection in there.

Speaker 5 (38:17):
Thank oh my god.

Speaker 11 (38:21):
Atologieslogy and it Seizonology show.

Speaker 6 (38:29):
Ratings come out every week and if they're not good
or good enough, Greg mentioned his parents, we're here visiting
and what to go, you know, clean the room and
pulled the sheets off the bed and everything as soon
as they left. Yeah, So it got me thinking because

(38:50):
I've been wanting to bring this up because I saw
this this clip, and man, can I relate to this?
Do your parents? And I'm a grown ass man, I'm
pushing fifty years old, and my parents and it's all parents.
It's it's both my mom and my stepdad, and my
dad and my step mom and even my wife's parents.

(39:13):
They're the biggest secret keepers. Like oh yeah, like when
there's stuff going on, stuff that they would if I
didn't share the stuff with them that they're not sharing
with us, they would be so upset. Yeah, Like if
there was maybe like a health concern I was looking into,

(39:34):
or things of that nature, or something going on with
one of the kids, or something going on with Jen.

Speaker 5 (39:39):
They probably preface it with we didn't want to worry you,
right right.

Speaker 6 (39:43):
I'm almost fifty years old. Yes, I can take like
I'm a grown ass person, Like do your parents keep
stuff from you? And then you find out out like
what do you mean you've been like going through test
four whatever?

Speaker 5 (39:57):
Or why are you just telling me this now?

Speaker 8 (40:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (40:01):
I mean if my parents do that, they're doing it
well because I don't know of any examples. Yeah, yeah,
I think that's a lot.

Speaker 5 (40:07):
With my in laws. My in laws are super secretive.

Speaker 6 (40:10):
Really oh really, Also, I would say, yeah, if I
had to power rank, I would say I would say
that my in laws are the most secretive, followed by
my mother and my stepfather their vaults.

Speaker 5 (40:22):
And then what do you think they're hiding though?

Speaker 6 (40:24):
Just oh like for a while, Yeah, I found out
that my you know, my stepfather was like undergoing like
all this stuff for like a possible heart condition and
was wearing like a Wolter monitor, and there's like this
big concern and I'm like.

Speaker 5 (40:35):
What I talk to you every week, every week. Yeah,
and she never once brought that up, never brought it up.

Speaker 7 (40:41):
Is she one of these Well you didn't ask, Oh,
I was supposed to know.

Speaker 6 (40:44):
And even when I do ask things sometimes I get
a run around, like they clearly just aren't interested. But
it doesn't work the other way, Like if I did
share something correct, they.

Speaker 5 (40:55):
Would be so mad. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (40:58):
I just at what point do you become an adult enough? Yeah,
because you're just concerned, like you care or you want
to be able to help, or you want to be
able to I don't know.

Speaker 11 (41:07):
I support the heart I mean, did it end up
being anything serious with the heart monitor thing?

Speaker 6 (41:13):
He's got some kind of thing, but it's super manageable.
It's not super concerning, is.

Speaker 5 (41:18):
That when they shared it with you?

Speaker 6 (41:19):
When they found out?

Speaker 5 (41:20):
No, you know what I found out. I remember.

Speaker 6 (41:23):
I had that whole thing where the Urgent Care put
me on like two steroid packs back to back for
those gnarly sinus infections, right, and I had these crazy
heart palpitations. I was convinced I was having like some
kind of heart attack or whatever, because I'm very rarely
on any kind of medication, and so I freaked out
and my doctor's like, no, no, no, it's just the
side effect of this. But I'm like, are you sure,

(41:45):
because I've never felt like he's like, look, you're at
the time I was forty, They're like, we'll put you through,
I'll put your stress test, we'll do whatever, just to
kind of get in. It's a good time to do
a baseline for your heart health at forty. That way,
going forward will have something, you know, as an adult
to kind of comparative, right, And so I did the
Halter monitor, and then that's when I got the information

(42:06):
that the previous year, oh well, you know John, uh,
you know had this hard thing Like what are you
talking about hearts since when?

Speaker 5 (42:14):
Yeah, they just want to protect you, yeah.

Speaker 6 (42:16):
Or I find out that you know, my uh, you know,
my stepmother had like some kind of like cancer scare
or like you know, yeah, yeah, you don't hear anything.

Speaker 11 (42:24):
I mean, I I mean, your parents are divorced as well,
but so like, I don't know, I have two different sides.
I have one parent that just like shares everything with
not much information. So it's like the end of the
world every single day. And then I've called the next
day and like what about the thing that was going on.
Oh no, no big deal, you know. So it's like

(42:45):
everything is like nine one one emergency every time it
comes up, no matter what it is. Well, and then
so that's just like I don't even know what to
take serious anymore. Yeah, on that kind of stuff. And
then the other one doesn't really want to share anything
unless it's something because.

Speaker 6 (42:59):
Again I saw all this this clip. It's a therapist.
Her name is Mary Beth so Much, and she made
a post about this that's gone viral, this one specifically
about boom er parents, which my parents are, Yeah, baby
boomers who keep news secret from their grown kids.

Speaker 3 (43:15):
We're going to play the part of the parent. Well,
grandma's been on life support for the last week and
it's not looking good. So we wanted to wait until
we knew for sure that it wasn't looking good, till
we called okay, we're back now. I understand protecting your
children from information that may not be like developmentally appropriate
when it comes to illness with family members, but these
are adult children now. The lack of communication regarding important

(43:38):
family health events has not only increased their anxiety now
because they don't trust that you'll tell them, but it's
resulted in a fracture in your relationship or a breach
of trust.

Speaker 6 (43:47):
I would tell you that is absolutely honest. Yeah, and
that is true. That is exactly what my reaction was.
My reaction was like, you know what, FM, I'm not
telling them anything. I know, you'll tell them how my
day was. And so like when I and for a
while there, Mike calls were very much yeah, good, good,
and whatever was going on.

Speaker 5 (44:05):
Didn't even bring it up?

Speaker 7 (44:05):
Did they notice?

Speaker 3 (44:07):
Like what do you mean?

Speaker 5 (44:08):
Because the calls were the calls.

Speaker 6 (44:09):
Were pretty short because you don't get into anything, there's
nothing to really talk about it. They're not sharing what's
going on in your life. Then you're taking away your
own ammo of I share with you? Why didn't you
because because I've always done that?

Speaker 5 (44:19):
But I you know, it was again, this is a
this is a petty react. I was going to say,
but oh yeah, you're not petty.

Speaker 6 (44:26):
Petty. I mean, I'm not going to tell you, but
I'm saying, but I got mad about it.

Speaker 7 (44:30):
I get that, And like she said, what else are
you not sharing with me? What else do I have
to stress about that You're not gonna, you know, let
me in on that would drive me insane.

Speaker 6 (44:39):
And I have said before, I'm like, hey, when stuff
like this happened, like in whatever it was, and when
stuff like this in particular happens, like, you gotta.

Speaker 5 (44:46):
Let me know.

Speaker 12 (44:47):
Is it typically?

Speaker 13 (44:48):
And I'm asking out of experience for me, is is
it your reaction that makes them not want to say
anything right away?

Speaker 6 (44:54):
Because I'm super supporting.

Speaker 12 (44:55):
My parents have done that to me before, where it's
like we're gonna not maybe tell her.

Speaker 7 (44:59):
I'm opposite they oh, no, trauma dump on me every day.

Speaker 13 (45:02):
Oh well, I just mean like my childhood dog when
they were gonna put them down the next day. My
mom didn't want to tell me because she didn't want
me to get upset.

Speaker 5 (45:09):
But at this point, I'm in, you do cry very easily,
so I could see maybe I didn't.

Speaker 12 (45:13):
I didn't as much back that, but yeah I did.

Speaker 13 (45:15):
It was a very traumatizing thing, obviously, and my mom
didn't want to tell me at all, but my dad
was like, we should tell her. They told me the
night before, and I mean I went and I went
with them, but their initial decision was to just not
tell me and all of a sudden not come home.

Speaker 6 (45:28):
I'm actually not a very even emotionally even keeled when
it comes to because I'll take stuff, I'll analyze it,
I'll think about it, and then how you know I
I do enjoy a good problem solver type situation. And
so that's typically what I go right into. So when
my mom was, you know, having all these issues with
you know, hip replacement, and that got screwed up because
the surgeon did something wrong and she had to have

(45:49):
a revision surgery and blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 5 (45:50):
Blah, and she had to go these tests.

Speaker 6 (45:52):
But the tests and the insurance companies are not getting
back to I go, hey, and she's losing her mental
you know, uh, you know, her her mind's exploding because
you know, all this anxiety. I said, hey, just go
get the test. And where does this where? I go, Hey,
just go get the test if you need like, I'll
cover it. I'll cover it and then we'll figure out
the insurance part later. For your peace of mind, go

(46:13):
get it done, Like why are you waiting around for me?

Speaker 5 (46:14):
Just go get it done.

Speaker 6 (46:15):
So that's that's more of my approach, right, And you know,
sometimes people just need to also hear you know what
that does suck and said, you know what, I'm sure
it's gonna be fine. That's one thing I learned when
my mom was going through her her cancer treatments. She's like,
you know, I really appreciate everybody's like, well wishes and
they're raw, raw and everything else, because sometimes you just

(46:35):
want someone to say, you know what, this.

Speaker 7 (46:37):
Really sucks, validate when I'm going like, yeah, commiserate with
you exactly.

Speaker 6 (46:41):
So I try to do knowing for her. I try
to get you know, a little bit of that in there,
but also like some type of you know, help that
I can provide well in.

Speaker 5 (46:50):
Your next conversation with her, maybe end the talk with
anything else you want to share.

Speaker 6 (46:55):
Ye, well, even just like the last conversation I have,
because I, you know, uh, had experienced a couple of
friends who lost parents and they had no idea like
how anything was set up.

Speaker 5 (47:06):
So like who do I even talk to?

Speaker 6 (47:08):
Because now they were because now they were in charge
of like cleaning things up, tying up blue sends.

Speaker 5 (47:14):
And I realized that, man, I really don't know anything.

Speaker 6 (47:17):
Yeah, I don't know who I would go to. I
don't know, like is there a person in contact like
and so and so. I sat them down at one
point and I asked them the question, and man, you
would have thought I was asking about intimate details of
their bedroom life. And I got the biggest blowoff and
I go really, oh yeah, and almost like and I said, hey,

(47:41):
I don't want a dime of your mind. I don't
want anything. I don't need anything from you.

Speaker 5 (47:45):
I don't want to.

Speaker 6 (47:47):
I guess all I'm asking. I just want to know
what I would do or what am I? What am
I supposed? Am I supposed to do anything in that situation?
Or is it if it's handled, tell me it's handled. Yes, yeah,
that's all I need to know. But if there's like
a key under a math that opens a box that
has instructions, I just can I have that?

Speaker 16 (48:02):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (48:03):
Exactly.

Speaker 7 (48:03):
When I went through this with my dad, it was
everything that could go wrong did go wrong. It was
horrible from every single and I was losing my mind
and my mom goes, what can I do to help?

Speaker 3 (48:12):
I go?

Speaker 7 (48:13):
You cannot put me through this again? Yeah, so we
got everything sorted out.

Speaker 6 (48:17):
Yeaheah, I wish I had that. I just want I
want to know the plan.

Speaker 3 (48:20):
You have to know?

Speaker 11 (48:21):
Well, I'm asking, what did they say? Is because is
it put on another sibling?

Speaker 6 (48:26):
Uh No, I was just told that I would get
I would get a phone call from somebody. I don't
know who that somebody is, right, you'll.

Speaker 5 (48:34):
Know when it's so I'm sure.

Speaker 6 (48:36):
I'm sure it's like a lawyer of some kind or
can you have a name, right, Like, That's what I'm saying.
And it's not because my sister will pretty much go
around the whole house with like little like green dots
and put the stickers on stuff she wants.

Speaker 5 (48:49):
Like I am the opposite.

Speaker 6 (48:50):
I don't want anything that has nothing to do with
Like I'm not digging in to find out like what,
I just want to know what I'm supposed to do
if that got it when that time happened.

Speaker 7 (49:00):
And you know, well you're supposed to answer the phone
when it rings.

Speaker 5 (49:02):
Yeah, yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 6 (49:04):
If that's the case, fine, But man, like I guess
the phone is just to let them know that they
they passed.

Speaker 5 (49:11):
Let you know, well, I would know that they passed.
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (49:14):
As far as like the affairs and things.

Speaker 5 (49:16):
Like that, go, like what do you want?

Speaker 7 (49:18):
You got to push harder?

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Do we have?

Speaker 3 (49:20):
Do we have?

Speaker 5 (49:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (49:21):
Are there any kind of like directive, right, like what
do you want after the fact? Yeah, even even before
you die. If you're in the hospital and you're you're
on a machine, like am I supposed to and they
ask me because I'm your your son?

Speaker 5 (49:31):
Like what do I tell them?

Speaker 7 (49:33):
You need to appeal to their sense of guilt and
like why would you do this to me?

Speaker 5 (49:36):
Right? What about me?

Speaker 2 (49:38):
No?

Speaker 7 (49:38):
Seriously, like you're not going to be responsive and I'm
just supposed to make the decisions, like, don't do that
to me. That's so I said to my mother. It worked.

Speaker 6 (49:46):
Yeah, So I mean, look, I'm trying, you know, to
keep it in my mind when kids ask questions as
long as it's age appropriate.

Speaker 5 (49:54):
I saw that.

Speaker 6 (49:55):
I'm like, that's really good. That's a really good point,
because you don't you do trust them us, like they're
not telling you something.

Speaker 5 (50:00):
Yep.

Speaker 6 (50:00):
And if you're already that person who's wired that way
to feel that people are keeping stuff from you or
you know, you can't trust somebody, which I certainly have.
I suffer from that big time. You know, it makes
it more different. I don't I don't want that for
I don't want my kids to feel that way. Yeah,
about me or about you know, my wife and I.

Speaker 7 (50:18):
Although if I was your kid, I'd be like, yeah,
he's got to figure it out, like all your stuff.

Speaker 5 (50:22):
Like I would know you, like I would assume. I mean,
just look at me, you know exactly got everything figured out.
This is a guy that's got stuff figured out. Okay,
sure he knows if he wants the plug polled or not.

Speaker 6 (50:34):
Yeah, eight seven seven forty four wooding you kids set
us a text over to two two ninety seven so
much What was the name of that that therapy at
the clip from that lady?

Speaker 5 (50:42):
Her name is Mary Beth so much s O M
I C H.

Speaker 6 (50:47):
And yeah again, if you're just tuning in and you
got parents that keep stuff from you, this is what
she had to.

Speaker 3 (50:51):
Say, going to play the part of the parent. Well,
grandma's been on life support for the last week and
it's not looking good. So we wanted to wait until
we knew for sure that it was looking good, till
we called, Hey, we're back now.

Speaker 6 (51:02):
I understand protecting.

Speaker 3 (51:03):
Your children from information that may not be like developmentally
appropriate when it comes to illness with family members, but.

Speaker 7 (51:09):
These are adult children now.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
The lack of communication regarding important family health events has
not only increased their anxiety now because they don't trust
that you'll tell them, but it's resulted in a fracture
in your relationship or a breach of trust.

Speaker 5 (51:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (51:24):
True.

Speaker 6 (51:24):
Interesting, and Mary Beth so much. And that that clips
going viral, It keeps popping up. Maybe it's a my algorithm,
you know, Yes, send that to your mom.

Speaker 5 (51:33):
Okay, my hands are around.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Do you feel each individual pomp?

Speaker 5 (51:42):
Yeah, a lot of people in the text understanding.

Speaker 6 (51:44):
Then that last conversation we're having about parents keeping secrets
from their adult kids, things like they should tell you,
they should know if you should be hip and said, man,
what do you keep asking questions?

Speaker 5 (51:55):
Because it's so hard to figure out after the facts.

Speaker 7 (51:57):
It's true, it's almost impossible.

Speaker 6 (51:59):
And then this textas came over to two two ninety seven.
I wasn't expecting to wake up to a heavy topic,
but I needed to hear it because I was beginning
to feel that I was the only one going through this. Now. Yeah,
both my parents passed away, but they would never tell
us anything that was going on until it was over
or too late. My mom would have surgery and tell
us after Yes, exactly, that's my that's my dad and stepmom.

(52:20):
Like my stepmom had some like kind of like surgic
cool thing going and I had no idea to have
to the fact my dad had aggressive skin cancer that
required radiation and didn't know until the doctor called me
to tell me and schedule the radiation treatments because someone
needed to drive him.

Speaker 5 (52:34):
Oh horribly secretive.

Speaker 7 (52:36):
That's crazy.

Speaker 10 (52:37):
Yeah, Well, instead of being petty and doing what they
do to you, to them like, I'm not going to
tell them anything now, just have that conversation with your mom.

Speaker 5 (52:45):
Mom.

Speaker 6 (52:45):
From here on out, I want to be in the loop.
I have had that conversation. That's exactly what I did.
I mean for I'm saying for. It didn't last very long,
but for a few weeks there, I'm like, you know what,
forget it. I'm not telling them anything. Yeah, Like why
am I expected to share every little detail? Because they
want to know everything? You know, That's how parents are.
They want to know.

Speaker 5 (53:02):
They want to know everything.

Speaker 6 (53:04):
Are you taking solid BMS?

Speaker 5 (53:06):
They want to know everything? Maybe the what was the
reaction when you have that conversation a lot of stonewalling.

Speaker 6 (53:14):
Really, Yeah, well, you know, we we were we wanted
to know what was going on, and you know, some
things are just not necessary because it turns out to
be nothing, and.

Speaker 5 (53:25):
Like, okay, well, no, I do understand that.

Speaker 6 (53:28):
But at the same time, as parents get older and
you're an adult, I'm damn near fifty again, you know,
I'm concerned and I want to make sure that they
are okay and they have for doing what they need
to do.

Speaker 5 (53:41):
Yeah, the same way. It's weird.

Speaker 6 (53:42):
It's a it's a role reverse totally after a certain point,
and I feel like I'm at that tipping point and
from here on out it's going to be more of
my looking out for them.

Speaker 5 (53:52):
Oh you know, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (53:54):
I tell my parents to text me when they get home. Yeah,
this story I love. I'm sure you've seen something about it.
The eighty eight year old dude in Detroit ed bombas
he was working at the grocery store, and that influencer
asked him about his story. He's an army vet. He
had retired, but he's back to working forty hours a
week because you know, wife died and then his old

(54:15):
job went bankrupt and they eliminated his pension. He had
a pension and the company that he worked for he
had the pension for went bankrupt and so now no pension.
Can you imagine that all you're in retirement?

Speaker 5 (54:24):
A god?

Speaker 6 (54:25):
Anyway, So the video went viral and people donated money
to help get him retired. Well, how much do they
bring in? One point seven million dollars? Damn? I still
believe in society. I know, every once in a while
you see a really cool story like that. And yeah,
he started crying when he was presented the check. He said,

(54:46):
he just feels like his wife is looking down on
him and that this weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

Speaker 18 (54:51):
There's a little bit this may be overwhelming, but we
do have a little surprise for you. So if you
would like to come with me, I want to reveal
that this is one of the largest individual fundraises and
go fundme history. If you want, you will be able
to retire because we've raised you one point seven seven
million dollars.

Speaker 5 (55:12):
Can I express it in any words?

Speaker 3 (55:16):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Thankful I am to all the people.

Speaker 6 (55:19):
Well, you can start by getting on your knees and
opening your mouth. Yeah you know what I'm saying. I
would That's how I would say thank you. Smile like,
can you can figure your own way?

Speaker 5 (55:30):
To do it, I guess.

Speaker 6 (55:30):
But you know, if anybody's given me one point seven
seven million.

Speaker 5 (55:33):
Dollars, I'm giving them anything they want. Yeah, I might
suck it as a thank you.

Speaker 7 (55:39):
Okay, keep that mind.

Speaker 5 (55:40):
Pray.

Speaker 6 (55:40):
Yeah, I never have to have the embarrassment because you've
never seen me again. True eight seven seven forty four
Woody text over to two two nine eighty seven.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
God eight seven seven forty four.

Speaker 19 (55:52):
Woody's where you came out up because you're gonna live
in internal life and the HELLISHO.

Speaker 5 (56:06):
Okay, I think I know what that is.

Speaker 2 (56:09):
Yeah, this is the Woody Show.

Speaker 6 (56:11):
Well, ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls, please welcome to the
Woody Show Studio.

Speaker 5 (56:15):
The machine berg Kreischer Tom Sgurga gets you a shout out.
I was talking to him to this to him this
morning on the car. Yeah, he said, what are you doing?
I said, I'm going into radio and he goes, radio radio,
who are you doing? And I said Woody and he goes,
oh that makes sense. He goes, yeah, Well, we still

(56:39):
have a goal.

Speaker 6 (56:40):
We just crossed off a bucket list item for menace
going first class to Dubai on Emirates Airlines. We still
have a bucket list item for the show is to
get Tom in here like we've.

Speaker 5 (56:51):
Never had that.

Speaker 6 (56:51):
I know he doesn't do it last Stuf and he
probably will never come in I'm saying, but it's on there,
and so whenever you have one of those conversations, please
mention to him.

Speaker 5 (56:58):
I'm gonna have to include ecstasy. Fine, I'm sure you
to do is get him on a bender Tuesday night bender, Yeah,
where we take ecstasy around four in the morning, Okay,
and I'll be like, let's stop by Woody.

Speaker 6 (57:10):
Yeah. Well we'll tell Tom we said hi, and he
still counts because we love him.

Speaker 5 (57:16):
He just finished his tour, his specials coming out Christmas Day. Yeah,
and it's going to be so good. Nice.

Speaker 6 (57:22):
Well, let me let me talk real quick about what
Bert's got going on, because man, there's so much stuff
happened in all these different Woody Show cities. Well, we'll
start with just this week. So Sunday, Bert's going to
be in Saint Louis, so for friends listening on one
O five seven point, he'll be at the Enterprise Center.
And then January twenty second, twenty third, Austin, Texas, So

(57:43):
everybody listening on one oh one X there in Austin.
He'll be at the Moody Theater on February twenty sixth,
Fort Wayne, Indiana at the Allen County War Memorial Colisseum.
And then uh, let's see you got March twentieth, Pittsburgh
at PPG Paints Arena. So one of five nine the
X listener get ready to go see Bert there. April third,
Atlantic City, New Jersey, so our friends listening to one

(58:05):
of four five. And then Indio, California, so all ninety
eighty seven or Palm Springs affiliate. May twenty second, you
can go see Bert there. But even before, not before
all that. But in addition to all of that, he's
hosting this full throttle festival, which I've seen you talk
about it on your Instagram. It's like a pre party
at the Daytona five hundred. That's on Valentine's Day. It's Saturday,

(58:28):
February fourteenth. Tell us more about that, because this sounds
pretty crazy, bads.

Speaker 5 (58:32):
So I have a great relationship with NASCAR, and we've
worked with him with Something's Burned in on two Bears,
and I enjoy Nascar, and so I and I and
oddly enough, you know they're kind of my people. If
I go to a NASCAR event, I'm.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Like, I.

Speaker 5 (58:47):
Mean you are Florida Me. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (58:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (58:48):
So I said, you know, let's do something in this
comedy medium. Marre, who puts on all the big events,
was like, let's do like a pre party. And I
was like, they're like, comedy. I go, you gotta do
music too. Here's the thing about NASCAR. You go in
and you bring your camper and you unpack everything and
you and that is your spot kind of locked down,
and you have planned events for you not to leave.
So I go, if you go there, you've got to

(59:10):
make an event that's big enough for someone to pack
up the bikes, put everything down, put the grill away,
and come over. And so they're like, what do you mean.
I was like, there's only one name that comes to mind.
It's Leonard Skinnered. If I can get Leonard Skinnered and
get Diplo, Diplow is gonna do the after Leonard Slendard
Skinnered and Diplos. And then I just sent it back

(59:32):
to all my comedy friends and I was like, I
was like, if you want to be on the show
Favored Nations, I'll I'll bring you out I'll pay you,
but like, I'm not gonna promote it with comics. I'm
gonna put all the music out and then we'll just
go up and like in between acts about the day
and just everyone does sets. We'll mess around. We'll make
it fun and loose. We got barbecue we bring in Ernest.
There's an amazing talent. Uh barbecue beer. It's gonna be

(59:53):
a blast.

Speaker 11 (59:53):
That's awesome and the medium rare people that those are
the best parties I've ever been to in my lifet
they locked.

Speaker 5 (01:00:01):
Down the best corporate partners in the world. No, you'll
have the best time any of these parties that they
put on. But I mean we went to Shacks Funhouse
and it was they do Shacks House, they do Ronx
Beach Party. They we know, we know about all those
ye dude, yeah over the top. Yeah yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:00:20):
So when you buy a ticket to this, like you
also see the race or is like I honestly, so
this is like the day before of.

Speaker 5 (01:00:29):
Course everyone gets everyone goes to NASCAR and gets there
the day before, two days before. I mean as far
as a weekend event, and it's.

Speaker 6 (01:00:38):
So for tickets for the again, it's the pre party
for the Daytona five hundred Saturday February fourteenth. Just go
to Bert Bertburt dot com. And then the other thing
that looks super fun is the fully Loaded at Sea.
It's a it's a cruise, which is happening. It's next year.
It's twenty twenty sixth November, so nineteenth through the twenty

(01:00:58):
third out of Miami. Me goes to like Cosamel and
a bunch of your other comic friends and stuff will
be I know, Whitney Commings is part of that. There's
gonna be some music on there.

Speaker 5 (01:01:08):
And the crazy thing is I look at these events
I put together so like we're talking about being an
adult the other day or just earlier, and I've always
had I've always had a crisis with like the kind
of adult I am. Like all my friends invested in companies,
you know, like they're like, oh, we need and you invested,
like in an ice machine or something. Can I tell
you a company I didn't invest in that my that
I really regret? Uh? Was it fifteen years ago? A

(01:01:32):
cody called Pallenteer. Pallenteer, what do they make or what
do they do? They're running the world?

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Right?

Speaker 5 (01:01:41):
They changed their name or they changed fair in general.
P l A and T are Peter Company. Oh yes,
and now he does this company. No no, no, that's
the new one, the new one. I could have invested
in that too. Damn I'm friends with his billionaire who
just likes my comedy.

Speaker 6 (01:02:03):
Any software powers, real time AI driven decisions and critical
government and commercials.

Speaker 5 (01:02:09):
Okay, well, fifteen years ago, can I tell you even
a bigger miss? You ready for even a bigger miss?
One day, I'm on Rogan and Brian Redband goes, we
should buy this thing called bitcoin. Yeah, and I didn't
have any money and Joe's like, what is it? We
were breaking it down. This is at the beginning of
bitcoin and do you understand it now? I still don't it,

(01:02:31):
But I also don't get Picasso right, like I don't
get I remember. Do you remember the craze when everyone
was doing what was the h Art thing? Like Tom
came to me, this is this is the crisis I'm
having with my identity. Tom came to me and he's like, Yo,

(01:02:52):
n f T s We're gonna go big on him.
I'm gonna sell NFTs from the show. So I want
to sell the kool aid. N f T and I
was like, what is it Someone will own the moment
you said I drink thirty chounds of kool aid. I
how can that happen? He goes, We'll make like a
picture and we'll send it to them and then they
own it. But it's like, really, like do they're paying

(01:03:14):
like ten thousand dollars for it? I was like, for
the time I said something, whatever they want, Tom made
a killing on NFTs, I refused to do it. So
I was like, I don't understand it, and I feel
like people are gonna get upset one day when they
go you keep saying kool aid, I own that. You
can't say kool aid or what. I don't know exactly.

Speaker 6 (01:03:34):
I'm the same I got what do you actually even
when you get explained it, it doesn't make sense right.

Speaker 11 (01:03:40):
Yeah, But I mean the NFT art thing was obviously
it was really stupid, but the NFT like access thing
was actually really cool. And that's the thing that kind
of like has stood out so like somebody could maybe
buy NFT to be to go to every mean greed
that Bert ever does for the rest of his life.

Speaker 6 (01:03:56):
So it's like a golden ticket.

Speaker 5 (01:03:58):
Yeah, basically, it's transform into that cancer. Yeah, I have
so many people with cancer on my phone right now. Yeah,
I have so many people with cancer on my phone.

Speaker 7 (01:04:09):
To make a wish gune.

Speaker 5 (01:04:10):
No, Okay, So I had this one time. This is
what happened. I had a joke. I'm not I'm not
telling them on staging works. It really messed me up.
I was doing I was doing crowd work when I
was younger comic ikind of do CrowdWork clips because crowd
work when I was doing it was was only when
you were in trouble on stage. And now I'm working
on it because I'd like to get better at it,
but I'm also working on it now. We're special Anyway.
So I was in Cincinnati and there was a group

(01:04:32):
of black women. They're all wearing the same shirt, and
I'm like, Hey, what's up, sisters? Is there is there
a family reunion this week? And they're like huh, I
when's the cookout? And they're like what are you talking about?
I go, where's Big Mama And they're like we're not related?
And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. You guys are
all wearing the same colored shirt and they're like, it's pink.

(01:04:53):
I was like, and and they're like, we have breast cancer.
I was like, oh my god. I was like, what
an unlucky family. And they're like, we're not related, we're
just all black. And I'm like, oh bad. So the
show goes horribly. I cannot get out of the hole.
I'm like, you guys are doing good right now, and
the one girl's like, no, mine came back and it

(01:05:14):
doesn't look good. I'm stage four and I'm like how
many stages are there? And she's like four. And I
was like, oh, that doesn't sound good. So I go
can you do it? S oud of tequila? And she
was like, oh yeah, I'm dying do whatever I want.
I can ride a motorcycle tomorrow. So I was like
all right. The end of the show, the woman comes
up to me. She goes, hey, that sucked. I want
my money back. I was broke and I was like, listen,

(01:05:37):
I can't give you your money back. I don't make
that much money. I say, here's what I'll do. I
owe you, so I'm gonna give you my number. And
then any time you're feeling down, you get feeling lonely,
you're feel inside, you feel scared, you call me. I'm
gonna write jokes just for you, just for you. I'm
gonna write a ton of jokes just for you that
I think you'll like, and I will start telling you
jokes you.

Speaker 6 (01:05:56):
Just don't want jokes that kill. Yeah, get out now
that's a good one, thank you.

Speaker 5 (01:06:02):
So two weeks later, I'm in my backyard. I'm having
red wine and my phone rings and I look at
it and it says black cancer. I didn't. I didn't.
I wanted to be prepared, Burt, that's what you put
her in the phone? Yeah, I don't. Yeah, what am
I gonna put Latifa? And then how places where they
put on the receiving Yeah, exactly, they get fired. That

(01:06:24):
would be a funny Starbucks just described you. Yeah, double
chin smells like whiskey black cancer as black cancer calls.
So black cancer calls, and I go, I knew it.
It wasn't gonna go well. When I go, hey, you're
still alive, she went, start with the jokes. So the
first joke I told her, I was like, what did
mister tisay after he pushed fifty cent in the pool?

(01:06:46):
It's quiet for saying? She goes, what now? I go,
I fitted the.

Speaker 6 (01:06:48):
Pool and she hung up.

Speaker 5 (01:06:54):
She hung up. This is like fifteen years ago, so
I was thinking of putting that in the New Hour.

Speaker 6 (01:06:58):
So I'm messing went on.

Speaker 5 (01:07:00):
I was like going to the front row Abby, shout
out to Abby, I hope you're listening. She goes, I
have cancer. I said what. She goes, I have cancer?
And I said, well, Abby, give me your phone number,
and I go, have you ever sad or if you
ever feel like I go, you can call me? It
works great. Abby's beating her cancer. She went in for
it's great by start doing that at my shows and

(01:07:22):
not everyone beats cancer. Yeah, and you're and you're dealing
with I have this. I mean not to get like
too deep, but I have like a fourteen year old
that I'm texting with and I am not equipped to
deal with what he's going through.

Speaker 6 (01:07:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:07:34):
And it's like two morons. I was like, I mean,
I was like, have you been laid yet?

Speaker 6 (01:07:42):
Like can we get you laid?

Speaker 5 (01:07:43):
And might make this happen. I know you're trying to
be nice, but you may end up in jail. I don't.
I don't I know, And I'm like, I don't know
what to say to him. He's sixteen. He's sixteen. He
gets he just his dis it's bad and he can't
drive enough. I hope he's not listening. If he is,
are you guys in the organ Yeah yeah, yeah yeah,
but uh, it's not out to Colton. He's a great kid.

(01:08:06):
He's a great kid. But I realized I'm ill equipped
to deal with what these what people are going through.
You're I'm trying the kids.

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
Man.

Speaker 5 (01:08:16):
I'll tell you what the Gangster movie. I'm really into hats, right,
I'm really into hats. But I'm also very uh, I'm
very cheap. So I have this company, clink Room, who
sends me custom hats. They it's made by designers, no
one else. They're one offs. No one ever else gets them.
I mean you can buy them on this clink Room site.
But they're dope and they're fitted. And they send me

(01:08:36):
like twelve hats at the beginning of every month, and
they're really sick. So I say to my office, I go, yo,
Colton is losing his hair. He loved his hair. Colton,
if you're listening, I hope you know. I'm just giving
you love, buddy. He's losing his hair. He loved his hair.
He's little getting a little insecure. I want you to
send him a ton of hats because we have we
have snapback hats that I'll never wear, and we have

(01:08:57):
a lot of cool ones. So Colton text me a
picture sure, and it's him with like fifteen clink Room hats.
And my first instinct, where ago were those my hats?
They send him my hat? I go, those are good hats.
I'm really upset. I go, I go, hey, guys, don't
send him my hats. Those are my hats. And then

(01:09:19):
they're like, no, we reached out to clink Room. They
sent him his fitted sized hats, and I went, oh, okay,
I have other hats.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
You know.

Speaker 5 (01:09:29):
Well, Burt Crier, the machine is here.

Speaker 6 (01:09:31):
He's hanging out with us for the hour. We're gonna
take a quick break and then we'll come back here
on the Woody Show more with Bert next.

Speaker 2 (01:09:40):
My cancer around my ankle? Do you feel each individual
pump pump?

Speaker 6 (01:09:47):
We've spent so much money over the past at a
handful of months on these prizes and stuff.

Speaker 5 (01:09:53):
You'd be shocked and be shocked that my wife is
so and I don't know if the word is cheap
or good with money, that our mortgage I think is
like three grand. Wow. Nice, that's insane. Yeah. Yeah, and
it's a we live on an acre. And when La
put like down, okay, right, I think she paid for
the I think she paid for the lot in cash. Yeah,

(01:10:14):
and then paid for the rent of I think we
were just paying off the renovation.

Speaker 6 (01:10:18):
That's awesome.

Speaker 5 (01:10:19):
Yeah, she's just so good with it.

Speaker 6 (01:10:20):
It's like MENACE's wife. MENACE's wife is really good. Like
she'll get free rental cars when yeah, you know, I
will go to the same place at the same time. Right,
their rental car was free. Mine was like five hundred
bucks for thirty one hours.

Speaker 5 (01:10:32):
Yeah, you know, how did that happen?

Speaker 11 (01:10:34):
Greg's wind was blown the other day. I'm like, I
don't even know who the mortgage company is.

Speaker 5 (01:10:38):
Now, how do you not know? I'm gonna blow you away?
Right now, I'm going to blow you away. I found
out recently. We have our old house. We rent to
my sister's this old assistant, her family. There's a young family,
and it's the mortgage is literally nothing, and we don't
ask for more than the mortgage because a little bit
more just in case there are damages. So that it's

(01:11:00):
a great deal. It's in Valley Village. Wow. And my
sister Kytie goes, yeah, they're there. They don't use air
conditioning or lights ever. So their electric bill was nothing,
and I went, wait, electric bills are on how much
you use electricity. You didn't know that, And I go, No,

(01:11:22):
I had no clue. I'm gonna blow your mind. I'm
gonna I'm gonna make somebody was a standard. Okay, here,
hear me out, hear me out. I move into a
dorm at eighteen. I then move into a fraternity house.
Everything's all in one six hundred dollars a month. That's it,
all right. And then I move into apartment with a
bunch of guys six hundred dollars a month. That's it.
I go then move to New York eight hundred dollars
a month. That's it, it's all inclusive. I then move in.

(01:11:46):
I moved out to l A.

Speaker 6 (01:11:47):
I sublet a room twelve hundred dollars a month.

Speaker 5 (01:11:50):
That's it. Thirteen hundred dollars a month in the next place.
That's it. It's one cover. I then get Leam pregnant.
We move in together. She runs the apartment building. I've
never paid a bill in my life. I had no
clue the whole I thought it was a wives tale
when they go when they go, uh hey, turn the
light off when you leave a room. I was like, oh,
what a friend it goes. I'm gonna blow your mind

(01:12:10):
this one. Okay, all right, everyone started zero and I'm
gonna I'm gonna hear something. So someone told me that
there's four time zones in America, in continental or continental US. Okay,
you didn't know that. No, you travel, if you do,
if you if you tell me the math, I go, oh, yeah, yeah,

(01:12:31):
that doesn't make sense. You got you got Eastern, uh, Central, right, Mountain, Mountain, Pacific. Yeah,
but the time difference from l A to New York
is only three hours? Correct, So where's the fourth hour?

Speaker 3 (01:12:43):
M hm?

Speaker 2 (01:12:45):
Oh?

Speaker 12 (01:12:46):
Like how is there? How can there be four times?
There's three hour difference total?

Speaker 5 (01:12:52):
All right, that's a really good question.

Speaker 6 (01:12:54):
But aren't three in the contiguous and then you have
like Alaska and Hawaii?

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
No?

Speaker 6 (01:12:57):
No, no, no, you're talking about just are ye.

Speaker 5 (01:13:00):
So, by the way, by the way, I just want
to thank everyone in this room for being as stupid
as I was.

Speaker 6 (01:13:06):
Eastern is three three hours, Central is two hours behind.
One mountains.

Speaker 7 (01:13:12):
Yeah, and then there's there's ours I mean yeah, then
there's specific where's the fourth hour?

Speaker 6 (01:13:17):
What do you mean the fourth? Oh yeah, hour's time difference?
What time is it right now?

Speaker 5 (01:13:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:13:21):
All right, so yeah I got seven thirty seven thirty.
What time is It's tenth ten thirty. So where's the
fourth It's nine thirty in central eight thirty.

Speaker 5 (01:13:32):
It's just the fourth is wherever you're yeh zero.

Speaker 3 (01:13:43):
Like that.

Speaker 5 (01:13:43):
Oh I got, I figured the ricle out. Okay, it's
like I got. I figured out time travel. Wherever the
fourth I was with the scholar brothers and they're like,
hold on, you're confusing us. Now it worked called Yeah,
you're in an time zone. Yeah, you're in two.

Speaker 10 (01:14:05):
That's right, Three, then four then b yeah you see.
I wish we could go back in time to where
I was now adding.

Speaker 5 (01:14:13):
Because he's an idiot film dumb while the machine. Bert
Kreischer is here.

Speaker 6 (01:14:20):
We talked about the Tona five hundred party that's happening,
the Full Throttle Festival that's not until February. Then he's
got the fully Loaded at Sea twenty twenty six cruise.
Information about both those events you can get by going
to Bert bert bert dot com. Also, Bert's got a
new Netflix series it's going to be released on January

(01:14:40):
twenty seconds called Free Bert Nice And I've seen you
posting different things when you were filming and doing that stuff.
But it's six episodes, right, It's basically it's a it's
a scripted version of like your.

Speaker 5 (01:14:53):
Life, fictionalized fictionalized life. I don't think I've ever lived
a life in my life.

Speaker 6 (01:14:59):
I can say it's kind of like everybody loves Rayment
and not really that. It's more like a curb you're
enthusias because it's not Larry David, but it's a fictionalized,
you know, version of It's.

Speaker 5 (01:15:09):
It's it's a it's a it's. I mean, it's tough
to explain, but it's because it's a really wild series.
Is it much like time Zone? It's hard to explain. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's uh, it takes a wild turn. It's it's a
it's it is. It's about the time of my life
when I was at an identity crist I'm always in
an identity crisis. But it was like the girls were
going to school. I kind of felt like a loser

(01:15:30):
because all the dads had jobs, and I was like
this guy in flip flops and yeah, workout shorts and
a sleeveless sweatshirt. And I always smelled like booze and
I just was an outsider. And and then there was
a period where I tried to like I tried to
reinvent myself and fit in and it it did not
work in real life. It put back where horrifically. I

(01:15:50):
just started dress trying to dress the part and and
like I you know, like grow up. Yeah, and it
just did not work. And and so it's based on
that period and much like my regular life. I mean,
I'll give you a little hint, but the story arc
is I overshare about my daughters on a podcast or
on a TV show, Like when I told about Isla's
period on Conan. We wanted to use that exact one,

(01:16:14):
but it was it was too close to home, and
I have said no. And so it's I overshare about
my daughters and I mess everything up for my daughters
in school, and I try to fix it and I
make it worse and it turns into a wild spiral.
And so it's it's very enjoyable. I really hope people
like it.

Speaker 7 (01:16:30):
It's a cautionary tail.

Speaker 2 (01:16:32):
It is.

Speaker 5 (01:16:32):
And it's a hard R comedy. Great, so I mean
aggressive family, like a nice hard one like like like,
and the little girl the little girls in at Eva
and Leelu are monsters. But I will say that little
girl Leelu like she steals it. It is she plays Isla.

(01:16:53):
And imagine if you lived with a child for eighteen
nineteen years and then you willed it down to six episode,
You're like, this kid is insane.

Speaker 6 (01:17:03):
Well, it's called Free Bert. It's gonna be on Netflix
on January twenty second. Is it one of those where
all six episodes will be released at the.

Speaker 5 (01:17:11):
Same time, or is it like one a week? And
we made made so that you you watched the very
end of one and you're dying to see what happens
in two. And you watch the very end of two
and you're like, oh my god, what happened to ye school?
Jeff G. Yeah, it's good Jeff G. Good morning.

Speaker 2 (01:17:30):
What are you?

Speaker 1 (01:17:30):
Good morning?

Speaker 5 (01:17:31):
Squad?

Speaker 1 (01:17:31):
What a wild ending to last night's Chargers Eagles game.

Speaker 5 (01:17:34):
Hurts keats, throws.

Speaker 6 (01:17:37):
Picked up.

Speaker 17 (01:17:41):
And the Chargers win for once, My Chargers didn't charger
the ending man, God bless the Chargers defense. They kept
us in the game and helped us win it. And
you can't say enough about the toughness of quarterback Justin
Herbert broken hand got sacked seven times, but was still
the team's leading rusher man. And before we move on,
I gotta play you this audio from Chargers coach Jim

(01:18:02):
Harbaugh on how much this win means to him.

Speaker 9 (01:18:05):
Didn't I put in the discussion the birth of my
seven children, my marriage, You know, in the conversation.

Speaker 17 (01:18:13):
Dude is so goofy man. But what a great coach
Chargers and Chiefs. Next weekend hockey Kings beat the Mammoth
four two. You got the Ducks and Penguins this afternoon
at four, and check this out.

Speaker 1 (01:18:23):
What you show.

Speaker 17 (01:18:24):
Mike Tyson is fighting Floyd Mayweather in an exhibition match
in March in Africa, matches being sponsored by AARP and
Icy Hot. Just kidding, And let's go ahead and end
this morning on a positive note. Dodgers manager Dave Roberts
spoke with Japanese media this week and told a great
story about show Hal.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
Tany helping out his ailing teammate's mother.

Speaker 6 (01:18:45):
Listen to this.

Speaker 8 (01:18:45):
We had a couple of years ago his mom was
had cancer and shohe made a very very big contribution
to help get his mom. One of his teammate it's treatment.

Speaker 5 (01:19:01):
Great athlete and a great person.

Speaker 1 (01:19:03):
Love to hear that. I'm Jeff G. And that's your
so col Sports.

Speaker 5 (01:19:05):
All right, Jeff Gbday the Woody Show, the Machine.

Speaker 6 (01:19:13):
Bert Kreischer with us. You can check him out on
all social media platforms at Burt Kreischer. His website is
Bert bertbert dot com, which is where you can find
all the information about that pre party, the Full Throttle
Festival happening before the Daytona five hundred in February, the
Burt Kreischer fully loaded at c Cruise. That's happening November

(01:19:34):
of next year. We got Burt Burt bert dot com.
And of course this weekend he'll be in Saint Louis.
Then he's going to Austin, Texas in January February, Fort Wayne, Indiana,
March twentieth, Pittsburgh April third, Atlantic City, New Jersey, May
twenty second, Indio, California. All Woodies show cities, so go
see Burt Kreischer. Details of more again Bert bertbert dot com.

(01:19:58):
We did have while you're here, we figured you'd be
a good person to having studio because Gina has had
a question for the Fellows.

Speaker 7 (01:20:04):
I've been thinking about this.

Speaker 16 (01:20:05):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:20:06):
You really are a man's man, a man.

Speaker 7 (01:20:08):
You're definitely going to have an answer.

Speaker 6 (01:20:10):
I didn't cry. You cry more than the average guy
does cry. You try more than anybody.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
I know.

Speaker 5 (01:20:19):
What is that? Is it always been that way? No,
it's just I was just gonna say, because dude, I
don't know what's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:20:24):
Man?

Speaker 5 (01:20:25):
How old are you again? You're okay? So I'm forty nine?

Speaker 1 (01:20:28):
Is it low? T?

Speaker 2 (01:20:29):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:20:29):
Because he does right mystery? Twenty five pounds?

Speaker 3 (01:20:32):
Bro?

Speaker 5 (01:20:32):
Yeah? Maybe has it? Has it chilled since you started with?

Speaker 2 (01:20:36):
No? No?

Speaker 5 (01:20:36):
No? If there are certain stories that if I start
telling you, I'll start crying, And there are stories that
don't matter that if I tell, like if we watched
our we watched the pilot or the trailer to my
new show, and uh Leanne can tell when I start crying,
then no one sees it. She I cry watch it.

(01:20:57):
Just put herand on my leg and I was like, sorry,
I cry so much. My wife will ridicule me. You're
getting soft. It's fun to cry, It's nice but it's
weird when you cry. It like weird things. It's like, uh,
the end of Endgame, right with when when Spider Man
starts to disintegrate and he looks and he looks at

(01:21:20):
Iron Man and he goes, iron Man tell me, I
don't want to die. And I started sobbing, and my
daughter goes, I know you're a big Spider Man fant.
I was like, no, it's it's like I feel. I'm
going to tell you a video of me crying. I'll
get it.

Speaker 6 (01:21:36):
I'll get it loaded, I'll give you to you.

Speaker 5 (01:21:37):
I did not want to. I was driving down the street.
It was last Saturday, and uh widespread panics. Sak song
came on and I just heard the lyrics clearly for
the first time, and I started crying on the corner
of UH, in the corner of Woodman and Chadler, I
just sobbing, crying, And then I was like, what what's
the what's the song? Uh? Uh hooking up the Pieces? No, No,

(01:22:04):
it's uh ain't like grand Uh No, it's Plane.

Speaker 2 (01:22:09):
No.

Speaker 5 (01:22:10):
Wait wait, I didn't know you were watched for a
Pana fan. No, I just know a few songs. Oh well,
look it up. Is very important. Yeah, it's a man's
man kind of question.

Speaker 6 (01:22:22):
Yeah, and uh, we'll see, we'll see what all the
fellows in the room thing and everybody listen, of course,
fellaws chime in on the text over to two two
nine eight seven.

Speaker 7 (01:22:28):
Because I think we all think we know the answer,
but I want to hear it from you guys. We
who ladies, Yeah, ladies, Okay, what has been consistently the
best throughout your life? Hand parties, mouth parties, or sexistently consistently?
What's because I think women would just be like, oh, sex,

(01:22:50):
but I've heard from guys that that is not the case.
And I'm curious.

Speaker 6 (01:22:54):
All right, So either handy, mouth party or or sex
or what's been consistently the best.

Speaker 5 (01:23:00):
I'm gonna I'm gonna take this one. And as a
man that's going through a lot of issues with this,
I will say mouth parties wildly dropped off. Yeah, I
mean quantity, No, no, no, I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:23:14):
I was.

Speaker 14 (01:23:15):
I was.

Speaker 5 (01:23:15):
I thought you were asking which maintained its enjoyment the most.
Man Like, the first time you got a hand party,
You're like, You're like, this is pretty good. It was
nothing compared to a mouth party.

Speaker 6 (01:23:29):
Big wheels are cool until you get a bike. Bike
is cool until you get a car. The car is
good until you have like a private jet or something, right,
I mean like it's it's just a based on your experience,
but it's it's it's more.

Speaker 5 (01:23:40):
You can't go big wheels, all right, you gotta think,
you gotta think all equal forms of transportation tricycle, Okay.
So like, uh, let's just say a hand party is
a car, okay, what it is? All right? A mouth
party is a motorcycle?

Speaker 7 (01:23:53):
Okay, dangerous?

Speaker 5 (01:23:56):
And then the first time you have sex, it's like
it's like a hoverboard. I mean, unprotected sects is better
than cocaine the first time. The first time you have
it is like there is a lord and I live
in here.

Speaker 16 (01:24:16):
Dangerous.

Speaker 6 (01:24:16):
Well, I think I think we all, I think we
all agree that. Okay, So can we all eliminate as fellas?
Can we all eliminate hand party?

Speaker 7 (01:24:24):
Keep the handy on the table.

Speaker 5 (01:24:25):
I'll tell you right now. I'll tell you right now
if if if mouth parties are motorcycles, I've seen the
fatality numbers and I'm not getting on.

Speaker 6 (01:24:33):
Them, and I'll tell you.

Speaker 5 (01:24:34):
I'll tell you.

Speaker 6 (01:24:35):
So what's the problem with hold on, what's so, what's
the problem with the mouth party?

Speaker 2 (01:24:38):
Now?

Speaker 5 (01:24:39):
It's just not as they're still nice. But I can't
if the first one I ever got, first mouth party
I ever got, I was in Room one eleven in
Sally Hall, in a bunk bed, in a bunk bed,
and her head was hitting the ceiling and I remember going,
I'm gonna get absbestos from the But I remember that

(01:25:01):
feeling was overwhelming and I was in and out in
a matter of seconds. I mean, I think, I mean really,
it was like watching a kid play with a loaded gun.
You just didn't know what happened, and then next you know,
she was like back into the left, like JFK. But
now I look at those and if you said to me, hey, listen,
I need you to You're gonna get a mouth party

(01:25:23):
from your wife, and you need to complete said mouth
party before the end of this Game of Thrones episode,
I'd be like, good luck. Really, yeah, I just they
don't is.

Speaker 6 (01:25:32):
That I don't know that sounds like a criticism of
style points.

Speaker 5 (01:25:37):
First time I got a mouth party from my wife,
I was like, this chick might be a slut. She
is so good.

Speaker 6 (01:25:44):
I mean, how many of these she's.

Speaker 5 (01:25:49):
Like watching there they go can you break into the mainframe?
And the guy goes, give me your computer? WHOA. But
but I will say, if we're talking consistency, yes, a
hand party has always delivered the same exact way. It
is not changed.

Speaker 6 (01:26:07):
It's not better or worse. It is like pasta. It's
always good.

Speaker 5 (01:26:11):
So you cheeseburger. Hand party is a cheeseburger. It's hard
to play with a cheeseburger. A mouth party is sushi. Yeah,
you're rolling the dice on it sometimes.

Speaker 2 (01:26:20):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (01:26:21):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:26:21):
I feel like consistency would be the mouth party, right,
I have a vastly different answer. I think I think
the one that's like hit or miss could be the
hand party.

Speaker 5 (01:26:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:26:32):
Maybe you haven't had the right hand party that it's
it's it's so, it's it's almost interesting. It's like, yes,
it's fun.

Speaker 5 (01:26:40):
Aggressive party, like a surprise hand party. Yeah. But when
I was.

Speaker 10 (01:26:46):
When I was a surprise when chicks, I would just
say sex but consistently good throughout life.

Speaker 6 (01:26:52):
Mouth party, Wow, Yeah, sure that would be the top
mouth party.

Speaker 7 (01:26:57):
I just heard horror stories about hand parties.

Speaker 6 (01:27:00):
Yeah, because.

Speaker 5 (01:27:02):
Dry aggress like you get what you can get.

Speaker 6 (01:27:06):
Listen, but they usually start unexpected. Hand party is kind
of like dry humping and like like it's like that
that seems to be the training wheels of your of
your sex life.

Speaker 5 (01:27:17):
I just said to my wife the other day, like,
there's so like when I hand party myself, there's certain
things I can't watch porn anymore. I don't know why,
it just doesn't. It's I don't know, everyone's too young,
and it's just not not what I I'm used to doing,
you know, crying too much, Yeah, crying black dudes. So

(01:27:38):
and so I said to her, I said, there's three
things I think of in our in our sex that
I go back to moments where you got a little
unbridled where it caught me off guard and I loved it.
And she goes really and one of them is a
hand party. One of them was just I mean, I'll
give you the details so that you understand what I'm
talking about. We do we do her mouth party first,

(01:27:58):
right a little bit, and so normally we go straight
to sex and that's what happens. But there's something on
this woman. There's like the there's a full moon and
she changed, she got she caught side guard on me okay,
side guard, meaning I'm in like a uma plata like
it's a it's a it's She went jiu jitsu on me,

(01:28:19):
you making it like and just like from one from
her and then right not to sex and got on
me and just started going to town and within minutes
I went, whoa hand party and caught me off guard.
I tapped so quick, really, and I and I go.
I didn't expect that. I didn't want that, but it's
what I needed. Yeah. See, totally agree with Bert.

Speaker 6 (01:28:42):
Hand party is all reliable, reliable.

Speaker 5 (01:28:45):
You Hey, listen, when you're in the car and you
get a you get a hand party out of nowhere,
You're like, what the come on? It always shows up,
it always delivers. He's like your high school coach. He's
never gonna let you down.

Speaker 7 (01:28:55):
So you're saying that a hand party always can add
the element of surprise. Looks sex sex is it's a.

Speaker 5 (01:29:03):
Family dinner for Thanksgiving, a lot of set up, a
lot of mood. Both of you have to be into it.
Both of you have to be into it right. If
her adds on into it, then all of a sudden
you're having sex and she's got a weird look. On
her face like, and then you feel creepy, and then
you feel creepy and then she breaks a sweat and
you're like, uh oh dude, a surprise hand surprise party.

(01:29:24):
You're driving back from the beach, and then all of
a sudden she just leans over. You're like, oh, okay, yeah, context, yeah, contact.
If you're watching TV and all of a sudden, somebody's
playing down there, and then you realize we're taking this
all the way.

Speaker 6 (01:29:40):
It makes it better.

Speaker 5 (01:29:41):
And then a surprise mouth party sometimes is a little
much like the cars next to us.

Speaker 6 (01:29:49):
You're like, oh, god, did I she's you know, yeah,
I worked out this morning. Text says, uh, their votes
for sex. Women aren't great at hand parties and mouth
parties have dropped off for me over the years. Okay,
I see that's I don't know. That's always the welcome
guest is the mouth party. The hand party is kind
of inconsistent. Sex seems to be more like kind of
old reliable because as a dude from way, I could

(01:30:09):
see where it's very hit or miss, because you know
that you guys are more complicated.

Speaker 5 (01:30:13):
But mouth parties are like camping. They're fun when you're young,
but when you're older. You're like, this is very interesting. Wow, wow,
all right, well no, this is helpful, this is really
but you're also talking to a married man. Yeah, I
only shop at one store, get it now. If we're

(01:30:33):
in a car, it's some sweetish chick. My wife's dad,
my wife dad dad in peace. I don't know if
I want the eye contact from a stranger.

Speaker 6 (01:30:49):
Well, I think that's a good place to end.

Speaker 5 (01:30:51):
Thank you absolutely, Bert Kreischer.

Speaker 6 (01:30:54):
Ladies and gentlemen at Bert Kreischer on all the social
media platforms you can find them Bert bird bird dot com.
Check out the details on the pre party for the
Daytona five hundred, the Full Throttle Festival happening in February,
the Fully Loaded at Sea cruise next November. Of course
all the shows. The guy just can't be home. It's
like minutes, can't bet. I'm gonna see if I can

(01:31:15):
sneak home and get a hand party in now. She
just got out of bed. Always got to be on
the run. And then the Netflix series Free Bert will
be released on January twenty second six episodes.

Speaker 5 (01:31:27):
Check it out. The Machine Burt Christy, we love you
so much. I'm gonna send you a gift box for
free Bert when it comes out, but I need you
to open it on air.

Speaker 6 (01:31:38):
Oh sweet, okay, yeah, you know what, we never get those.
I know obviously all the other shows to get those
like these cool gifts and they post them on their
social media. We don't get an We'll get one for Bert.

Speaker 5 (01:31:48):
Getting on and boy, you're gonna love it and it's
gonna live in this studio for the rest.

Speaker 6 (01:31:53):
Well, we love you man, Thank you, guys, I love
you coming in and say hi to Tom for us
and like legitimately and uh you know I'm not I'm
not saying that because he hates radio. He said we counted,
so yeah, that's a legitimate Hello. All right, we got
to take a quick break. More Woody show his next Hanging.

Speaker 2 (01:32:11):
The Woody Show. We'll be right back.

Speaker 6 (01:32:15):
Show Moses Martin.

Speaker 2 (01:32:20):
Do you know who that is?

Speaker 5 (01:32:21):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (01:32:21):
Yeah, uh no.

Speaker 6 (01:32:24):
He is the son of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrock.
And he's got a band, because of course he does,
wouldn't he. It's called People I've Met and they released
a new song. It's called Promise. Do you want to
hear a little clip? Yeah, that's all right, So you
know from the loins of Chris Martin.

Speaker 5 (01:32:43):
Can you just speak.

Speaker 6 (01:33:09):
This is kind of like a similar kind of you know,
cold is yeah right, yeah, it kind of sounds low.
They call it low fly, low fly, low low fly,
low fi. A low five fie that was fly Mena
said something like that, I think it's like some new
cool term like that. I'm you know, to might understand. Yeah,

(01:33:31):
this is low fly low fly, like low fi. But
it kind of like the same kind of vocal style. Yeah,
a little bit of like I'm me quite mellow.

Speaker 5 (01:33:41):
Yeah, right, that's what I was nineteen years old.

Speaker 6 (01:33:44):
I just wanted to because you never hear. Last time
we had Chris martin in he said he was going
to the mall to go spy on his daughter because
she was working at the at the clothing store, right,
and he just wanted to see her at work. It's
so funny the idea of like Chris Barton going into
like a mall to you go spy and his daughter
and he's like pretending it's like all women's clothes, but
he's like pretending to be interested in stuff. See now
that that was that's an example of a story that

(01:34:07):
as he's telling the story, like not. I didn't start crying,
but like I start like, you know, getting like oh,
because I think about like, you know, I'll probably do
like my daughter gets a job, I'll totally.

Speaker 5 (01:34:15):
Go spy on her. For sure. I'll go check out
and see what she's doing. I think I can sully stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:34:22):
You know.

Speaker 5 (01:34:23):
Yeah, And that's the thing.

Speaker 6 (01:34:24):
It's like Dad, she was like, go away, yeah, yeah. Now,
definitely a song that I did a lot in the
band that I did a lot of that band, Dogma Society.
Oh yeah, I played for a while back and Gina
grad with the trending news headlines.

Speaker 7 (01:34:44):
Well, after another drawing, there is still no winner in
the Powerball jackpot. One lucky person in Florida did take
home a million bucks, but the prize now moves up
to about nine hundred and thirty million dollars. The lump
sum on that's going to be around four hundred and
twenty nine million.

Speaker 6 (01:34:58):
I'm telling you, man, they're gonna have somebody right for Christmas.
It given me the Christmas miracle. There will be a
whole thing they've got it planned.

Speaker 4 (01:35:04):
Now.

Speaker 7 (01:35:04):
That would be a nice yeah, that'd be a nice
little side bet. But that number is going to drop
to like two hundred and seventy million after taxes. The
next drawing for the power Ball will be tomorrow night,
and you think your prediction it's a no go because
we're waiting to get closer to Christmas.

Speaker 5 (01:35:18):
Okay, yep, so.

Speaker 6 (01:35:19):
Got another week before somebody wins. It'll be like one
of the highest how he already is. But even ve interesting,
don't I want somebody to win because I'm sick of
the story?

Speaker 3 (01:35:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:35:29):
Same, very much.

Speaker 5 (01:35:30):
So well.

Speaker 7 (01:35:31):
Last night's Monday night football game between the Chargers and
the Eagles went into overtime after tying nineteen nineteen. Both
teams made a lot of mistakes, especially Eagles quarterback, who
threw several interceptions and even lost the ball on one play.
In overtime, the Chargers scored first with a field goal
to take a twenty two to nineteen lead. The Eagles
got one last chance to score, but through another interception

(01:35:53):
near the end zone that finished the game. The Chargers
now have nine wins and four losses. The Eagles fall
to eight wins and five loss and have lost three
games in a row by the way, but they're still
leading their division and the finalists for the Heisman trophy
were announced yesterday, and the favorite to win is Indiana
quarterback Fernando Mendoza. He led his team to an undefeated

(01:36:13):
season and their first conference championship in sixty years. Almost
Vanderbilt quarterback Diego Pavia He's also a finalist after leading
his team to the best season in school history. Ohio
State quarterback Julian Sayan made the list for leading his
team to one of the top playoff spots this year,
and Notre Dame running back Jeremiah Love is the only

(01:36:35):
non quarterback finalist after an outstanding season with over thirteen
hundred rushing yards and eighteen touchdowns.

Speaker 6 (01:36:41):
So, so just the trophy, is there any kind of
like a cash prize with that close you get when
you win the Heisman.

Speaker 5 (01:36:49):
That could be built into some mini and yeah, yeah,
it's not back.

Speaker 7 (01:36:54):
Yeah, you know, it's like they say, like, once you're
an Oscar nominee or an Oscar winner, your price Well yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:37:00):
Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, that that goes without saying.
But I know, like sometimes there's like a.

Speaker 7 (01:37:05):
You know, not huge, but they're still some some Well,
the winner will be named on Saturday.

Speaker 11 (01:37:10):
Went to the USC like a couple of years ago,
and they still had OJ's heisman.

Speaker 16 (01:37:15):
Probably still happened.

Speaker 5 (01:37:18):
You wouldn't stand at anybody back then.

Speaker 2 (01:37:19):
Nah.

Speaker 7 (01:37:21):
Last week, Netflix announced that they had come to an
agreement with Warner Brothers, you know, to buy the studio
for eighty three billion dollars. Well, the deal hasn't been finalized.
It's under a ton of scrutiny. Scrutiny rather, and to
make things even more complicated, Paramount has announced that they're
putting a bid on Warner Brothers.

Speaker 6 (01:37:37):
How does that work though, because I thought Netflix they had.

Speaker 5 (01:37:40):
A deal trade company, which means you can do a
hostile bid.

Speaker 9 (01:37:44):
Yeah, you can do a hostile bid, because you can
then if you own enough, if you enough, if you
convince enough shareholders that your price is a better price.
Those shareholders holders can, because the publicly traded, vote out
the old board and then approve your deal.

Speaker 7 (01:37:58):
And that's exactly what's going on, SeaBASS, thank you. While
Netflix was offering Warner Brothers showholders twenty seven dollars and
seventy five cents a share, Paramount is offering thirty bucks
a share. That makes their bit worth over one hundred
and eight billion.

Speaker 6 (01:38:13):
So it goes from like eighty three billion, one hundred
and eight billion exactly. But again, it's like when you
buy a house and let's say i'm i'm I'm in
agreement to buy Greg's house right for X number of
dollars right, at what point does it become finally where
like Gina just can't come in at the last second
and say, well, Greg, I'll give you giv.

Speaker 7 (01:38:34):
Well, they're not nscro yet.

Speaker 5 (01:38:35):
The Warner Brothers, Okay, this is how this is how
Elon got Twitter essentially.

Speaker 7 (01:38:40):
Well, Paramount says their public offer is the same one
they gave Warner Brothers in private and then it provides
quote superior value and a more certain and quicker path
to completion. And Warner brother says they got the offer,
they're considering it.

Speaker 5 (01:38:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:38:53):
I know, like there's a lot of people, like the
traditional Hollywood people that would like to see Paramount keep
Warner Brothers because it keeps the tradition people kind of together.
And who was it Martin Scorsese or whatever he was
talking about how this is really the truly the death
of the industry of Netflix gets Warner Brothers that it's over,
the industry is dead. Yeah, did you see the meme
most Okay, but I'm saying that's the difference between the

(01:39:14):
old school and the news school, right, Like the old
school people don't want to see, like the the streamers
come in and take over a Hollywood institution produced that.

Speaker 5 (01:39:26):
For Netflix.

Speaker 7 (01:39:27):
Well, and did you see the meme where it's in
a screen. It's on a movie screen and it says
like Netflix, this does not know is not compatible with
your WiFi.

Speaker 5 (01:39:38):
I guess you had to see it.

Speaker 7 (01:39:42):
All eyes up here. Okay, Anyway, everybody was doing their
own little thing. Anyone sick of hearing about Luigi Mangioni
or is it just me?

Speaker 6 (01:39:50):
Yep?

Speaker 7 (01:39:50):
Okay, Well let's talk about him.

Speaker 5 (01:39:51):
He's back in.

Speaker 7 (01:39:53):
Back in court for more pre trial hearings. Police bodycam
video showed the moment cops opened up his backpack when
he went and when he was caught in Pennsylvania, that's
when they found a fully loaded gun magazine hid in
a pair of wet underwear, and that was enough for
the cops to arrest him. Later at the station, police
discovered a nine millimeter handgun, a silencer, a phone, and
a manifesto, along with notes and items that suggest a

(01:40:15):
potential escape plan and hatred toward health insurers. Mangioni's defense
is arguing, of course that this is all this all
needs to be thrown out because the search of the
backpack was unconstitutional. But this is, of course, can be
another decision the judge is going to have to make
before the actual trial begins.

Speaker 5 (01:40:32):
Well, yeah, they were saying they checked the backpack because
they feared there might be a bomb in there.

Speaker 7 (01:40:36):
Well that sounded reasonable reason to check it. Or is
that like when you know in South Park when they
shoot an animal and it was coming right for us,
Like you just say what you're supposed to say.

Speaker 6 (01:40:45):
But I mean again, if all the evidence is there
that this guy did it, which we all know that
he did it, right.

Speaker 7 (01:40:51):
I feel like he's a well I guess we know
that he like opinion.

Speaker 5 (01:40:58):
Knows, Yeah, correct, we know that he did it. Yeah,
I don't I don't know.

Speaker 6 (01:41:01):
I'm just again of the mind. I don't care how
they got it, because everybody once we'll find some evidence
and it's whether the question is did you do it
or not?

Speaker 5 (01:41:10):
True?

Speaker 6 (01:41:10):
And if you did it and there's a smoking gun,
there's all this hardcore evidence, I don't care how you
got it.

Speaker 10 (01:41:14):
But but but for somebody else paranoid is going to
jail as you are for something that you didn't do.
I get that, but you have to follow certain protocol
and it's.

Speaker 5 (01:41:24):
Called the constitutions called I don't know being an American.

Speaker 6 (01:41:27):
But again, did you really do it? My paranoid is
that's something you honestly didn't do and you get convicted
of it.

Speaker 10 (01:41:34):
Right, but maybe you got convicted of something you didn't
do because they didn't follow the rules on this side
of the case and it aimed at you. You never know,
you should be even support of this.

Speaker 11 (01:41:44):
And my thing is from the evidence, I believe that
he did it, but again, like his uh he was
masked in the video and things like that, you have
to make it like one clear before you just.

Speaker 6 (01:41:57):
Say he did it.

Speaker 5 (01:41:58):
Yeah, you know, juries incredibly stupid he did it.

Speaker 6 (01:42:02):
I can't stand the people who are like you know this,
this free Luigi. That drives me nuts. Just imagine if
your family what this person did for a living, they
weren't like, quote breaking the law or you know what
I mean, like we always root for the bad guy. Yes,
you know, I think that's a lot with the true
crime stuff that people get into, and you know, they

(01:42:25):
they start twisting reality with you know, TV shows or
maybe the things that they watch, and so they love that.

Speaker 7 (01:42:31):
Well, that's the thing I hate about true crime. I
hate people who glorify serial killers and.

Speaker 5 (01:42:34):
Stuff like that.

Speaker 7 (01:42:35):
I think it's disgusting.

Speaker 6 (01:42:36):
Just think about it, like if it's somebody that you
knew horrible. You know, your dad goes to work with
the insurance company and then you know, here's this guy. Oh,
but he's cute.

Speaker 7 (01:42:44):
On that note, Greg and I, I think the thing
that we take the most offense too is that he's hot.

Speaker 6 (01:42:48):
He's not hot like all I can see. I think
I said it to you, Gena, because you worked with
the guy for so long. I said, if they were
going to do like some kind of like biopic on
Adam Carolla, he like this one picture, if he could
be cast as young Adam.

Speaker 12 (01:43:02):
Reckon.

Speaker 7 (01:43:02):
I do not understand why people think he's hot.

Speaker 9 (01:43:04):
Where did bad air okay greatly the body guys the
body shot, yeah, which I don't know.

Speaker 7 (01:43:09):
I wasn't staring at his body that was all over
the New Weird.

Speaker 10 (01:43:12):
How his lawyers want those pictures to be admissible? Can
we have our client forget suit and tie?

Speaker 5 (01:43:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:43:17):
Shirtless.

Speaker 5 (01:43:18):
Forget how you search his backpack? Yeah, the blow hair
and the thick eyebrows.

Speaker 11 (01:43:24):
Yeah, I just proved that if people think you're really
good looking, you can be a whole horrible person and
just get a pass.

Speaker 5 (01:43:31):
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 7 (01:43:32):
Well remember Cinnabon lady, you know, the super racist cinabunch chick.
Well she's the ex employee now at Cinnebon. She's the one,
of course, went viral on tic shop for her racist tirade,
and she's coming out saying she's not racist at all,
you guys. She went to social media and made a
post saying, quote, ps to the racism. If you look
at my Facebook from twenty ten, you'll see on there

(01:43:52):
that I have a blended family and my son was
colored colored.

Speaker 5 (01:43:56):
Hold on, there's more.

Speaker 7 (01:43:58):
She then backtracked.

Speaker 5 (01:43:59):
I know you're allowed to use.

Speaker 7 (01:44:01):
She then backtracked in another comment, saying that her son
had darker skin because he suffers from Addison's disease and
that he was discriminated against by being called chocolate.

Speaker 5 (01:44:09):
So he had color.

Speaker 7 (01:44:11):
Yeah, he had a little extra color, not.

Speaker 5 (01:44:13):
Using colored as in like oh this colored boys, who knows.

Speaker 7 (01:44:17):
It's also come out that she has a long rap
sheet featuring charges of child and endangerment, disorderly conduct, domestic abuse,
and drug possession. And that cherry on the Sunday is
the fundraiser for this loser lady has grown to over
one hundred and twenty seven thousand dollars. Good god, Ye
what kind of society is this? Anyway? That's what's going on, Woodie.

Speaker 5 (01:44:39):
Well, thank you very much, Gina grad We are the
Woody Show. Is the Woody Show.

Speaker 6 (01:44:49):
So I had some exciting news for Grego because you know,
days have been getting shorter since the clocks were changed
back in November.

Speaker 5 (01:44:57):
Still haven't gotten used to it.

Speaker 6 (01:44:59):
Sunday, December twenty first is the winter solstice. That's the
shortest day of the year. The sun will rise at
seven fifteen in the morning and set at four twenty
three pm.

Speaker 5 (01:45:12):
That is a nine hour and eight.

Speaker 6 (01:45:14):
Minute day to sure. And then from there the days
will start.

Speaker 5 (01:45:18):
To get longer.

Speaker 6 (01:45:19):
In some areas they gain an extra hour of daylight
before February really ok, and then the trend of longer
days continues until the summer solstice, which is on June twentieth.

Speaker 5 (01:45:30):
Let's go to that now, yeah, let's go because Greg,
just this it's not a fact.

Speaker 6 (01:45:36):
This year especially, I can't get used to it.

Speaker 5 (01:45:39):
Yeah, I agree with Greg. Access has shifted.

Speaker 10 (01:45:43):
It is completely different. Every single night I'm thinking, like,
I guess it's time to call it a day.

Speaker 5 (01:45:48):
Oh it's six fifteen. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 6 (01:45:52):
Can't man, My sleep scores have been so good because
my body gets into that like you know mode. Yeah,
whatever it does where it starts to wind down, that
wind down face.

Speaker 5 (01:46:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:46:03):
I mean, I'm a fan of lazy, but this just
promotes laziness too much. Like during the week it's it's great.
During the weekend, I'm like, oh yeah, wow dark, it
seems incredibly early. Something I wanted to bring up. This
news reporter in New Zealand was filming a segment and
she was setting up for another take when out of nowhere, man,
this seagull came flying in real low and hit her directly.

Speaker 5 (01:46:24):
In the face.

Speaker 7 (01:46:25):
It was crazy.

Speaker 5 (01:46:26):
Did you see it?

Speaker 6 (01:46:27):
Like yeah, here's the aftermath, Like, yeah, I love those
comments where you see him on on social media. But
did this hurt the seagull or something? But did this
hurt the you know whatever? So anyway, it got back,
it took it took off it's back in this guy.

(01:46:48):
So yeah, the reporter's a little cut above her eye. Otherwise,
okage clean to the blood, went right back to work,
which is cool.

Speaker 3 (01:46:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:46:54):
Yeah, unlike a baseball player where a hangnail, they'll be
out for like two months or I didn't thinking about that.
Aaron Rodgers playing with a broken wrist and then you know,
Justin Herbert playing with a surgically repaired hand in a
contact sport, you get stitches and then you're back on
the ice.

Speaker 5 (01:47:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:47:12):
And yet we had we had a coworker that called
out because she was anxious about a concert that we
were going to have to attend, like a really awesome
concert that we were going to have to attend for work. Yeah.
And and and she called out that day because of
that event, Yeah, because she was anxious about the event.

Speaker 5 (01:47:31):
Damn the following day. Yeah. But again going back to.

Speaker 6 (01:47:36):
Going back to you know, athletes like baseball players are
the worst. They have the most simple injuries and it
keeps him on the sidelines for so long. And meanwhile,
you see hockey players, you know, football players, although they
got to change the I never understood exactly what it
was turf toe when they say oh yeah, and they're

(01:47:56):
out for ecending period of time. It's it's a pretty
gnarly injured. That's why it keeps them out for so long.
They changed the name because it doesn't sound tough enough
turf to sounds like something that like a baseball. Yeah,
they stubbed their anyway, here's here's a little audio when
the seagulls smoked.

Speaker 5 (01:48:11):
This chick in the face is going to be short
lived in.

Speaker 6 (01:48:18):
Sounded like it and also warning warning fun accent ah
is going to be short.

Speaker 2 (01:48:24):
Lived to in.

Speaker 12 (01:48:28):
Yeah, yeah, oh my god, my eyes.

Speaker 2 (01:48:38):
Yeah, am i am?

Speaker 6 (01:48:43):
You didn't even realize?

Speaker 5 (01:48:44):
Am I blat? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:48:46):
Just rub a good on you. Yeah, this is a
nice Yeah when you get home. Yeah, just put a
couple on the bobbie. I know it's New Zealand, it's
not Australia, but it's the same thing. So if it's
how you your pot for Australia, it's got to be
how's your cake for New Zealand? How's your.

Speaker 5 (01:49:07):
It's all the same, all accents. Yeah, we love him
in the same categor right, More Woody Shows next.

Speaker 6 (01:49:12):
Time Insensitivity Training for a politically worlds The Woody Show.

Speaker 5 (01:49:19):
Well, it's gonna do it Tuesday morning in the books.

Speaker 6 (01:49:22):
Yeah, check out the full show podcasts Just go to
the woodieshow dot com or get it wherever you find
podcast once again including Spotify. Knock on wood We're still there,
yeah for right now on the podcast today, First and foremost.

Speaker 5 (01:49:36):
Thanks to our friend comedian Bird Christ and hanging out
with us. Uh you missed it.

Speaker 6 (01:49:44):
You can get caught up on the podcast that and
everything else like Greg story about how he even grossed
himself out and training, these headlines and a whole bunch more.
Coming back here tomorrow with another fresh shot a gas
for a year. Also Woody Show rent relief. Yeah, we
could be paying your rent or mortgage for the month
of January. More knots Berry Farm tickets. Also tomorrow Woody

(01:50:06):
Show Crossfire with Hammer and Hank in Half Baked. We
got that, and a visit from old Saint Dick. It's
a Sea Bass Santa so generous once again for us.
This year we'll have that radio's most immature game, Guess
whose gas?

Speaker 2 (01:50:22):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (01:50:23):
Is all that?

Speaker 6 (01:50:24):
More Wednesday here on the Woody Show. Anything you got
for us in the meantime you can leave on the
after hours voicemail that numbers eight seven, seven forty four.
Woody find us, follow us on social media, look for
us there at the Woody Show.

Speaker 5 (01:50:37):
Greg Gory parting words of wisdom.

Speaker 10 (01:50:38):
Please Yeah, In just a few weeks you might start
getting messages asking if you're taking part in dry January.
It is very important that you block those people.

Speaker 6 (01:50:49):
Because again, Greg can't imagine a single day without a Drake,
a whole week, or a month. A month, Hey, forgive it,
about it. Even Burke Crich has been able to do it.
I know, I repeat, I cannot do it. No, I
will block you, all right. Thank you very much, Greg Gory,
thank you so much for giving the Woodie Show some

(01:51:10):
of your valuable time this morning. You know we love it,
appreciate you for that. The rest of you guys can
suck it. We'll catch back here on Wednesday. Have a
great day, s MD Doublem.

Speaker 5 (01:51:19):
Your mom's a bitch, You was a bitch, and happy Holidays.

Speaker 2 (01:51:21):
All you hold is bitches,