The Woody Show December 28th 2023 Podcast

The Woody Show December 28th 2023 Podcast

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
It is doomed to the graphic natureof this program. Listener discretion is advised.
The Woody Show. This is theWoody Show. Insensitivity Training class is

(00:38):
now in session. Egg Good morning, everybody, morbody. Today is Thursday.
Mom's birthday, December twenty eighth,on Happy Birthday, twenty twenty three.
Happy birthday, Ma. We arethe Woody Show. Thank you for
being here giving us some of yourvaluable time this morning. I would be

(00:59):
whatdy, that's right, it's GregGory, got Menace, Sea Bass,
Sammy, we got bored, wegot Caroline, the Woody Show production department,
Morgan and Vaughn, and we aretaking our end of the year holiday
breaks, so you know how thisgoes. We've got a full show lined
up for you this morning, someof which you might have heard, but
for everything else, if you haven'theard it too, that's right. We

(01:22):
still like to hear from you yourthoughts on anything that you hear on the
show today. If there's an opinionor a story that you want to add,
there are a lot of ways todo that. Best way, of
course, is the after hours voicemaileight seven seven forty four Woody. That's
eight seven seven forty four Woody.You can email us email at the Woodieshow
dot com and of course, onsocial media you can find us. You
can follow us on the social mediaplatform of your choice at the Woody Show.

(01:47):
Coming up for you on the showtoday, we're gonna consult with the
law offices of Bodega, Menace andSebastian. Right, yeah, so we'll
see what they think about some ofthese cases. We're gonna play Woody Show
Weakest Link. Always a good time. Also, there's another game in the
mix today. Is it a Chineserestaurant or an adult store? All right,
so Chinese restaurant or adult store?Getting to know you Sammy, who's

(02:09):
now been here for a little bitover a year. Was what last October
that you started? Yep. Yeah, so we'll get to know Sammy a
little bit better than we already have. So that's coming up for you on
the Woodi Show this morning. Alwaysinterested in this kind of stuff. I
have my sisters who are both nurses. I have another friend who is a
Oh god, what do you dothe epic when you're the person knows the

(02:30):
epidurals and stuff? What do theycall those anesthesia? No, it's not
anesthesiologist. It's another I've never hadto have an epidural. I don't know
what they're called. Yeah, Idon't anyway, So I got all these
crazy stories of things, you know, people that come through the emergency room
or things that happen at the hospital. But this is the Consumer Product Safety
Commission. Okay. They keep arunning Tallly of er visits. I know

(02:53):
we've gotten to this annual list before, but they note each one with a
short description of how we person gothurt. Okay, and so these are
just specifically the ways that men haveinjured their junk in twenty twenty two.
All right, I looked it upas an anesthetist. That's okay, because
what okay, what's the when someonedoes makeup and stuff? What is that?

(03:15):
Oh? See, that's where Ialways get them stetician esthetician r A
nesthetist. Anesthetist, yeah, anesthetist. And then the other one for makeup
is what esthetician esthetician? Knew thatmakeup doer? Yeah right? Epidural giver
an epidural giver getting epidols. Aperson you had an epidural, I've had

(03:39):
two or three. I think he'saddictive. I think three. You didn't
want to have a natural birth likea water person. No, it was
your I forget what was for backissues? Yeah, backed by the way.
I don't know. I don't knowwhy any woman gives birth without one
or without rugs in general. That'swhat I mean, like you have an

(04:01):
option? Yeah? No, allright, Well that makes you cringe.
This sou will certainly make you cringe, fellas In fact, uh here what
set the tone? A man wentto the er after scrubbing himself too hard
with a loofah. Yeahs hurt onit on his wik Yeah, I guess

(04:25):
he was trying. Oh yeah,he was cleaning it. He used a
loofah on the wheel. Yeah,maybe he was humping it. It definitely
was, yeah you think, ohyeah, I don't know what he was
doing. All right? How aboutthis one? A man accidentally ran straight
into the tip of a mop handle. The mop handle was kind of like
leaning down right now, Yeah,they get worse, all right. Somebody

(04:50):
had tried to circumcise himself with apair of scissors. Man, why scissors?
Scissors? Why? Yeah? Wetalked to somebody on the show years
ago. I don't even think itwas this group. I was working with
a different group. And we hada guy on who tried to give himself
a circumcision after watching a YouTube video. Yeah, and he went like to

(05:15):
a craft store and he got oneof those exact o knives. That's what
he used. He tried. Itwas not successful. Has there ever been
a successful one? I mean theytried that seemed like, I don't know
where the hell sea bass is like. He seems like the kind of guy
who like, oh, that's agood project, I can do it.

(05:35):
I don't think you would mess withhis wiener in any way. This is
some of the ways that men injuredtheir junk in twenty twenty two, according
to this list from the Consumer ProductSafety Commission, who keeps a running tally
of er visits and why each persongot hurt. Or how a guy was
sitting on the toilet holding a nailfile, leaned forward to grab some toilet

(05:55):
paper and stabbed himself in his business. Oh my god. Yeah. No.
Do you ever have something in yourpocket and you go to sit down
all of a sudden stab yourself likeright into the thought with something? I
think so. Yeah. A manwas working out with a friend when an
elastic exercise band slipped out of thefriend's hand and the handle struck him right

(06:17):
in the groin. That's that's likethe world's worst rubber bands stuff. It's
probably like Jim failed Nation. There'sso many crachial incidents bands. I would
never use those. I would neverwork out, but I would never use
that chance I would have abandoned.Let's start there. A guy passed out

(06:41):
of his bachelor party, so hisbuddies glued is junk to his stomach.
I think it was fun. Theywere probably all hammered. This will be
a good idea. Next thing,you know, you wake up and your
penis is glued to your stomach.He's drunk stuff to wiener for men,
this penis is big enough to reachhis stomach. That's awesome. It's pretty
cool. And that they, youknow, did stuff to him while passed

(07:02):
out. The guy ended up inthe er after putting a zip tie around
his junk while getting it on withhis girlfriend. All right, so kind
of like a sea ring idea.Yeah, there's another one similar. Another
guy somehow got his wedding ring stuckat the base of his junk. Okay,
what kind of sausage fingers do youhave? Your wedding ring like here's

(07:25):
here's Mike. Can you imagine gettingCan you imagine getting like a a wiener
in there right? Actual sea ringsyou can go by. Yeah, I
know. A guy was playing withhis dog. Greg relate to this one.
A guy was playing with his dog, fighting him with a pillow like
a little play fighting, like alittle pillow fight kind of dog lunch for

(07:47):
the pillow accidentally bit the guy onhis bag. Oh god, there,
yeah, Greg got bit on theIn fact, his bag got torn.
Dog ey dog. A friend ofa friend's dog. No bike, it
in and a massive martini. Butthe story was what you went over there

(08:11):
for, like a party. Itwas Thanksgiving and I went over there for
dessert. And I walked in carryinga bottle of wine and a cake and
opened the door, and unbeknownst tome, their friend had an Australian shepherd
named Bingo. I'll never forget beingthat mother. F and dog came running
down the stairs and I thought,oh, it's gonna greet me. Nope,
it dove in the air as ifin slow motion, and plunged onto

(08:35):
my groin and bam, bit myright ball and I did not drop the
cake. I did not drop thewine, but I screamed so loud.
They came and tackled the dog andit was just like the scene and stand
by me when he had the leechdown there, I looked down and I'm
trembling and went, oh my god, jeans were ripped open. I undo

(08:56):
my jeans, underwear is bloody andalso ripped open. Lower my underwear.
Testicle is ripped open. My martinito Yeah. Yeah, They're like,
we got to get you to thedoctor. No, it's Thanksgiving, let's
just stay. I'll have a drink. Yeah, He's like, no,
No, I do need to dopair of underwear though, which I got.

(09:18):
A man was using a penis pumpand suddenly heard a pop. That's
gotta be Oh no, does thatmean it's working? Yeah yeah, I
mean you broke right out of yourexisting skin. Yeah, we're gonna need
more skin down here, fellas.Oh man, I don't know if that's
a dude thing, but I'm nota dude, So I mean, I

(09:43):
know this is the Woody Show,welcome Back. So we tried it once
and went great, Well it went, it went somewhere what kind of the
way we thought it was gonna goas fun as that was, maybe we
won't do it again. Although thelisteners had a different idea. They liked

(10:05):
it, and they say, guys, I think you should give medice another
chance to audition to be the replacementhost for what you show weakest link?
Do you have one critique? Though? If we get the answer wrong,
tell us what the right answer is, Like you just kind of pressed on
and never said closure. Okay,Well that require additional reading radio, I

(10:28):
understand, I understand, So keepthat in mind as we're doing this.
This is where we got what isscuore creol made from skrel which is supposed
to be sour crowd. Look,you always have the option to pass yes
and waste that time, but heread it as score creol or score creole

(10:48):
scork creol. All right, so, uh, what do you show weakest
link? Menace? Go ahead toexplain how it works to everybody plays.
Well, we're gonna get a team. This is the team, and if
you this is and I'm gonna aska series of questions and if you get
eight questions right, I will buyus breakfast within twenty four hours. Now,

(11:11):
at the end of each round,you're gonna find out or you're gonna
say who is the weakest link,and you're gonna select that person to not
participate in the next round. We'regonna do three rounds total. Okay,
under the circumstances, what if youdon't get to eight questions, do we
automatically get breakfast? This is anew wrinkle because if you don't even get

(11:33):
to eight questions, that is agood point because the max was seven last
time. Chance. Okay, Iguess I'm gonna buy three breakfasts. Yeah,
let's try it out. Let mejust answer the question. You don't
have to agree to it. I'mjust asking if that's yeah. I mean,
okay, can I at least judgeon it if I would buy breakfast

(11:54):
or not? Because sometimes if you'rea yeah, because if somebody will get
hung up, yeah, if somebodyelse is wasting time like I'm in time.
Yeah. But as much as thathas happened, I don't think we've
ever gotten to less than the eightquestions. It's always been Hey, look,
I'm willing to agree to that,but I'm just saying, if there's
somebody that was wasting extra time,then he's not by it. I'm not

(12:15):
doing it. How about I thinkthat's fair? Or how about this?
Now they're just gonna throw this outthere. If you don't get the eight
questions in two rounds, okay,how about that? That's a good but
I mean so like, okay,so you're going to get into the one
round okay, what but if it'stwo different rounds. He didn't make it
to eight questions, Yeah, thattriggers the breakfast. That's good. I
like that. That's a breakfast trigger. All right, got it? All

(12:39):
right? Okay, who's gonna gofirst? All right? So Ravey is
gonna start first again. How muchtime do we have? Sixty seconds?
Sixty seconds? All right? Areyou ready? Yeah? What a show
week? It's like menace as yourhost. Here we go, Ravey.
What is the capital of Finland?Finland, pass, Helsinki. What is

(13:05):
called what is it called when birdsfly to warmer climates for the winter duration?
Correct? Which fish has no brainor heart? Jellyfish? Correct?
What are the only US states thatcan grow coffee commercially? Washington Incorrect?

(13:26):
Hawaii in California? How many feetare in four yards? Greg? In
four yards? Well? Correct?B to B is shorthand for which term
B to b bed and breakfast,back to business incorrect? Right, finish
the famous saying even a stop clockis right twice a day. Correct.

(13:50):
HG is the chemical compound for whatmercury? Correct? Hit and miss are
said? That is it? Lastquestion? All right? Didn't miss her
said out loud? By players inwhat classic board game? Oh, Sammy,

(14:13):
hit and miss. I would haveto pass on that battleship battleship,
you suck battle. That was interestingbecause we all had to kind of guess
who was the question was going toward. Uh huh, Well we only got
five correct and he did get tonine questions, Thank you. Weakest players
were Ravy and Sammy, and Iwould say if you and you know they

(14:35):
do like strength of schedule, especiallyin college football. I would say Raby
had the easiest strength of schedule,and she still missed. Although B to
BT B two B active business,I think business to business. Oh and
in fact, I'm looking at theanswer key B T B B two B
A shorthand for which term back tobusiness business? That's that's kind of open,

(14:56):
open ended, except think Hawaii waseasy in California. Yeah, all
right, so we'll start with Raby. Raby, who's the weakest link,
Sammy, Sammy, who's the weakestlink? Raby? All right? Those
kids with each other out? Allright? Greg? Gory? Sorry,
Rave Ravy, Raby Sea Bass.Yeah it's Raby. You are out the

(15:20):
weakest link. All right, allright, I'll work on I'll work on
the names this time. We circle, I know, but i'll it's for
better for some audio purp It starts, okay, Woody, Greg, Greg
starts because we're going around the room. Right. Oh, I just stopped
because it was the last one started. Sammy was the last one. So
it goes to Greg. Now allright, I don't care. I'll start

(15:41):
if you want up to the host. What a mess, Let's start with
Greg. We'll start with Greg.Here we go weekest link Round number two,
Greg and star Wars? Who builtC three p? L oh god?
Incorrect? Skywalker? All right,Woodie? What short is? What
sport is played with a shuttlecockins Badminton? Correct? Sea Bass? What is

(16:03):
the third letter code for or HairO'Hare International Airport r D? Correct?
Sammy? Who was the voice ofmister Potato Head in toy Story? Oh
oh oh oh, I'm reading hisbog If you're right, that would be
Don Rickles, Greg, the PanamaCanal is located in what continent? Uh,

(16:29):
Central South America incorrect? In NorthAmerica, Woody. What color do
you blue and red? Make?Blue? Red? Orange? Incorrect?
Purple? Sea bass? How manymiddle grams are in one gram? One
thousand? Correct? Sammy, England'sfirst successful colony in the world was located

(16:49):
in what future state? Virginia?Correct? Wow? Okay, that was
eight questions? Eight questions? Allright, well, thanks to Greg's terrible
performance. Star Wars question was Forsome reason, Greg always seems to get
the Star Wars question, was HarryPotter Star Trek reference on it? I'm

(17:11):
sorry I was. I think everyother word in my question was wrong,
but I still figured. Yeah,no, it's going for ciphered the three
letter code for O'Hare? What wasthe third? What third? The Chicago?
Hey man, it is what itis so obviously Sea Best the strongest
link there. Everyone else? Yeahwhat he had Sammy missing one? But
Greg, with I knowble terrible.We'll start with you, Greg, who

(17:37):
you're going to vote for? Well, considering Sea Best things three letters is
one letter, I'll say Sea betsall right, seabas who you're voting for?
Well, not myself, because I'mperfect in the game so far.
Therefore, I will vote for theactual weakest link, Greg Gory. All
right, what about you, Sammy? I will say Greg, all right,
well Greg, I'm sorry, damn, it's going to be a new

(17:57):
record. I don't think I've evermade it to this, but you yes,
never long never good job? Wouldnot like if you're not like softballing
me the question. No, I'mjust going in order. I hate that
I'm still in. I love it. I like to be builded out for
some people, I don't like it. All right, round number three?

(18:18):
Yes? Who starts? You?Oh? I start? All right?
We could say, here we goWoody. In the sentence, did you
ever go to the store? Whichword is an adverb? Go? Incorrect?
That'd be ever Sea Bass? ToWhich continent does Iceland belong North America?
Incorrect? Europe? Sammy? Whowas the fourth fortieth President of the

(18:42):
United States? I don't know?Reagan? Correct? What Sea Bass?
What is the eleventh squared? Whatis the eleventh square? One? Correct?
Was? But that was for Woody. I got back to what he
done? All right. What wasthe number of William Shakespeare's wife? What

(19:03):
was the name of William Shakespeare's wifewho was shared in her name with the
star of the Disney of the ThePrince's Diaries. What star Princess Diaries?
The character name Princess Diaries Diana incorrect? Dan Hathaway, Oh all right?
What if an item costs dollars innine nine cents includes tax? How much

(19:29):
charge will go back to the personwho paid for with? Uh? Bus
right? One more time? Changeyou want? How much change will you
get back? One dollar one cent? That what you're looking for? That
would be two dollars and one cent. I didn't even hear the full question.
No, you're too busy interrupting theother question left. What was the

(19:52):
Shakespeare wife question? Jesus Christ,what was the name of William Shakespeare's wife
who shared her name with the areof Disney's Princess. The answers Anne Hathaway,
Yeah, well an, okay,like because I guess maybe her whole
name was and according to the ways, Oh yeah, either way, no

(20:14):
breakfast for you. Oh no,we got practice. By the way you
asked you just fourteen dollars. Thequestion is supposed to be fifteen dollars.
Yeah, I got it correct,and I was no way there's no way
that you got to eight questions thattime. No, he got to five.
Yeah, so there's two roundshere.You didn't make it to eight.
Oh, he made it to eightin the first two round. Yeah,
in the first round he did.Yeah, go back to the tapes you

(20:37):
No, no, damn it.Eight. That was a mess again,
of course, even though I didn'tpractice that question. All right, So
no breakfast, No, no,no, you got breakfast because I didn't
make it to those No, Ididn't make it at the end, I
know. But yeah, that's cupboard. Yeah, but wait a minute,

(21:03):
I didn't. Yeah, but whatdo I do about the fact that I
want? And I like the randommortar too. It went It went from
Sammy to sea bass to me.He messed it up. All right,
Well there's the wood you show weakestlength. You guys killed that men style.

(21:25):
I like that, all right,job, you did a great job.
Yeah on the men scale. Waybetter. Yeah, for sure,
it'll just keep on getting better andbetter. If you call you, I
promise more. What show next?Hang out? Don't hit me. I'm
not gonna hit you and take aglasses. I'm gonna throw them on the
ground. This well, we haveanother new hour of insensitivity training for a

(21:52):
politically correct world for you. Weare the Woodie Show. O. Good
morning everybody, Thank you for givingus some of your valuable time this morning.
My name is Woody, that's Raby, Greg Gory is here. We
got Menace, what up? SeaBass is here. We've got Sammy Marino.
There's Born, we got Caroline,and we have Morgan who is here
as well. We are taking yourcalls eight seven seven forty four Wooding.

(22:15):
That's eight seven seven forty four Wooding. You can hit us up with a
text over to two to nine eightyseven by popular demand this hour, it's
the Law Offices of Bodega, Menaceand Sebastian. We back baby. Yeah.
So we have these different stories ofyou know, people found themselves with
some kind of legal trouble in thenews and if you need to get off,

(22:37):
they'll get you off good. TheLaw Offices of Bodega, Menace and
Sebastian are two legal quote experts hereon the Woodies Show will give you their
take if they were the defense lawyersfor the people in this particular case,
and then everybody else consider around todecide if they would buy into the reasoning
and defense that they are providing fullswaying arguments. There was there was this

(23:03):
story talking about excuse generator. Thestory I saw this morning about I guess
this happened in twenty sixteen. Thesetwo twins. They were accused of cheating
on a medical school exam because theyhad the exact same answers, and so
they sued the school, arguing thatsimilar scores are common for twins and they
had not signaled answers to each other. It's like, well, we're twins,

(23:26):
duh, we got twin brain.Yeah. Their their argument was that
they were twins. Okay, andthe jury agreed and they were just awarded
one point five million dollars. Nicekidding, Okay, well we're twins.
Is the defense for having the exactsame answers? Exact same answers? Okay,

(23:48):
I don't buy it. I mean, let them retake the test,
yeah, thank you. I mean, if they really want to prove that
they didn't do it, I meanthat would be better than here's one and
a half million bucks. Definitely,I mean that makes But here's the thing
is retake the test there, Butthey weren't allowed to retake the ten years
ago right, and their medical dreamswere derailed by accusations, yes, and

(24:11):
emotional trauma and stuff. It's likedude twins, duh yeah, and and
pretty hot too and hot twins.Right, So how could they cheat that,
Well, they have a future ononly fans. They could be like,
you know, hot chick doctors quoteunquote only fans. Unfortunate that the
patriarchy always goes to only fans.Or but like a medicence of bash and

(24:33):
are standing up for women's rights?Yes, sure, thank you, yeah
you and Gloria already champion of womenright, Yeah, there was mcgreg was
talking about how like, uh,the utility companies, Oh, a bunch
of scammers frauding yea, even ifeven if you like turned everything off the
off, like you'll get that billand they'll say that that month that everything

(24:55):
was turned off and you were outof town, that you're somehow used more
just unusually this month. So youyou have your do you have like your
your case notes together? I doit. Who's now that Cameron's not a
part of things anymore, who's goingto be reading the cases? Well,
we only have one option, really, yeah, because the jury consists of
right and then we have a veryvindictive and I'm not to judge at all

(25:21):
very biased because we can at leastsway Sammy probably. Oh that's a good
point. I'm very fair. Shouldbe a tiebreaker. Okay, so are
you are? You're going to presentthe cases? Yes, they have the
cases. Okay, excellent. Becausewhat he executes everybody, I do love
sending people to the electrics, right, people end up very guilty from the
judge, which was again I pointedthis out before. It's the ultimate irony

(25:42):
because these are people you I know, are being abused by the justice.
What he's number one fear is beingmistakenly convicted and going to jail. Yeah,
and we're throwing all these people injail. Classic psychology. You know
what I started doing. This isa true story out of paranoia. Oh
boy. Every time it says heycan we track you know this app is
tracking or whatever, I go,yep, it's a figure. If you

(26:04):
say no, oh, then youhave an alibi. Yes, look yes
tracking me? Yeah no, becauseyou heard about like these I don't track
your location. They don't track youlike that your buying habits, Yeah,
what you're browsing I'm talking about likeeven the like the navigation apps and things
like that. They'll say can weyeah, exactly, or I have like

(26:26):
this aura ring or whatever like itwants to know what my location is.
Things like that, and even likeyou know between like you know different people
on your contact list, you canshare your location with them. I do
that with a few people. Yes, please do please. Because I thought
about it, I'm like, Wow, if I ever need an alibi and
it's just my word against it aboutwhere I was, I can go.

(26:48):
Look, it's the next level paranoilabout that. I share my location with
my friends too. But when I'mlike in an uber in case I get
kidnapped or something like, so youknow where I am, but not twenty
four find the body? Yeah,you know. Mind just I don't want
to go to prison for something Ididn't do. Look, I was like,
shop, Well, like we've heardstories about like the Amazon's digital assistance,

(27:14):
you know, a lady, alady keeping track of you know,
conversations or whatever. And it's like, so I figured, like technology can't
be used for good, it doesn'talways have to be used for bad.
That's what I do my Google Maps. It's always on and see, so
you do it all the time.I okay, so it's not whenever the
remember when I Uber tried to chargeme for a cleaning fee because the guy

(27:34):
picked up somebody else or he didn'tpick up anybody at all, and then
I and so I went went likefifty miles this way, like well,
no, here's my Google location thatexact time. I was never in that
care wo wow. It's like heworks for the electric company. Now,
if you if you're regularly doing crime, you don't want to do that.
But yeah, correct, just lawabiding citizens. That's why I say all

(27:55):
the time, like, hey,you want to listen to my calls,
Fine, you're gonna hear some reallyboring stuff. You can hear a lot
radio talk. You're gonna hear alot of that guy. You're gonna hear
some really boring conversations with my wifeabout what's for dinner and what kind of
activities my kids have this afternoon.That's where we differ. Just because you
don't have anything to hide, itdoesn't mean you no no, But I'm
taking I don't necessarily worry about it. And I figure, well, if

(28:15):
that is happening, well then they'llknow, well what a bore this guy
is. And here's where he was. Thanks to his horror ring, we
know that he wasn't in that particularlocation when the murder happened. He was
at Chili's. He was at Chili's. He was in the parlor with a
candlestick, I mean chocolate chip paradisepie. Yeah. So we'll take the

(28:36):
break and then we'll come back withthese cases. Yes, the law offices
of Bodega, Menace and Sebastian.That is next. Hang on, yes,
baby, get it, we're back. Yes, Getty yetty? Yes?
Yeah, so what do you show? So? According to somebody on
the text, I'm not sure becauseI didn't see this part, but those
you know, the lawsuit that wewere talking about, the twin Yeah,

(29:00):
who were cheating allegedly and then therewas cheating. Yeah, apparently in medical
school. Right, according to thearticle, they became lawyers to defend themselves
over the accusations. Oh really,damn, that's pretty smart. That's interesting
they went to law school. Yeah, like I said, I didn't I
didn't see that part and what Isaw and what I read, But pretty
cool. Yeah, it was morelike a like a brief version, brief

(29:23):
you know, cut down version ofus. That's pretty awesome. That's it.
That's pretty interesting. That's very cool. Yeah. So if Menneso or
Sea Bass ever get in trouble,well they can rely on their excuse generating
powers that they bring to the tablejustice generating for the law offices of Bodega
Medicine Sebastian. This all started asa joke basically saying, you know,

(29:47):
if there are two people that canreally explain their way out of something or
excuse their way out of something,it is it is Menace and Sea Bass
called believing in the American justice system. Yeah, objection leading the jury.
Yeah, so well there's no juryyet. This is I'm just stating facts
at this point. I'm looking athim. I'm looking at him. So
the law offices of Bodega, Menaceand Sebastian, they'll get you off if

(30:08):
you ever need some help in thatarea. Now, Sammy has a couple
of cases over there. She's gonnatell us a little bit about the case,
and then Menace and Sea Bass they'regoing to do their best to be
in all, you know, likethe defense lawyers for this particular case.
And then Raby and Greg is thejury. We'll have to give what they

(30:30):
think guilty or not guilty, andI, as the judge, will help
to moderate and if there is areason to rule, all right, what
there's reason to say? What thejury says? Yes, yes, that
is contempt? How to do hisjob? But all right, contempt?
Uh huh? All right? What'sthe first case here? Sam, a

(30:52):
Florida woman found behind a business atthree am with no clothes on from the
waist down. Quia m Russell nikwifa all right and shut her pants off?
Keep that in mind. Okay,we'll come into play. She was
charged with public drunk, public indecencyand two counts of obstruction officers of observing

(31:14):
the two suspicious vehicles behind the businesswith three people outside the vehicles in the
parking area. All three returns tothe vehicles as officers approached them, and
Russell was uncooperative with officers, refusingsays them, yes, right, we're
refusing to provide identification and saying thatthey had no authority. Officers were not

(31:34):
able to determine why Russell was undressedfrom the waist down. Other two people
were not charged, right charge.I will ask the defense to keep their
traps shut while we're getting the detailsof the case. As to not distract
you will have plenty of opportunity tohelp you with your yes. Okay,
all right, So in the caseof what's your name, Lakuifa their pants

(32:00):
pants? To defend this well,first off, Georgia is pretty where this
case happened. It's pretty relaxed onnudity, so I don't even know why
they're going after They have nude beachesby the way, thank you. And
again Greg would agree being nude nota big deal, especially a lady from
the waist downs. But may Iadd, may I add, there was

(32:25):
a medical condition happening at this time. And I don't know if you've ever
been to Georgia. It is mad, moist, dumb, swampy, and
she had a yeast infection and sheneeded to air out the situation. That
is correct. Our client is beingdiscriminated against Nikwifa because of having what the
crime of a smelly vagina called bacterialvaginosis, and she was just airing out

(32:47):
her vagina, not I she's behinda business. Is that on a record?
That is that is on record.That is our defense. It's on
record east infection and bacterial vaginosis.So we're resting people now for having medical
condition. That's discrimination. One ohone. And you might note that the
other two people were not even arrested, so there was no crime being committed

(33:09):
other than airing out your vagina.Case closed, all right? Did the
jerry have any questions? I havea question for the judge? All right?
You said, is that your defense? That's how court works. They
say, why they were naked?Yeah, she's naked, presented in the
news story airing out her cross Shedid so the breaking in defense, that

(33:31):
would be the defense. Okay,but was there a test done of any
kind to determine that there was aexactly our point. They did not even
test her the east infection, bacterialbadge and nosis didn't do you have no
proof that there was a it's nota yeast infection. This is going to

(33:52):
be your defense. Shouldn't you havesome type of hold on? You say?
Was there a test done? Idon't know if you've seen a yeast
infection, my friend, but notest needed? Right kind of visual question?
I don't know. Oh, thereis trails. My question is trails.
Instead of getting combative with police officers, why not just explain the situation

(34:15):
or let them smell your greg asa person who hates the police. You're
gonna think that they were telling thetruth when, oh, this person stopped
resisting arrest. Yeah, type situations. The police say she became a combative.
That is not what actually happened.How many times, Greg, you've
been called unruly by people who weren'teven with me exactly? Is the classic,

(34:42):
Tomas, that's the classic. We'regiving you any excuse sort of so
we can arrest you. May thankyou order. Yeah, I'm gonna ask
the jury to give me their ruling. How do you find one of these
lawyers just said a yeast infection ison the outside. I'd like to different
I like to different account. Thereis visual. They don't know what the

(35:05):
hell they're talking about. It wasa big swing and a miss. She
was belligerent with police allegedly. Okay, you don't know. You'velt guilty for
ravy, Greg Gory. I think, unfortunately, the client might have to
fall on the knife on behalf ofthe half of this law firm Sebastian,
maybe to teach him a valuable lessonthat he's wait, I get called on

(35:35):
my demeanor when you're not even withme, So on behalf of the council.
Strike the guilty. I need backup, going with the jury guilty,
jail guilty, woman, jury goto jail for medical cool need this case
to jail for yours infection on theoy ladies on looking out, you're going

(36:00):
to jail. Oh, my friend, you can see it. Yeah,
that was perhaps a misstep on definitely, I feel like we had it locked
down and sorry. Next case,Sammy please. A teacher's assistant has been
charged with marijuana possession after weed wasdiscovered in his lunch bag. A student
at the school had been placed inthe teacher's lounge to calm down, and
the student then pulled faculty members belongingsout of lockers and began throwing them around

(36:23):
the room. That's when authorities discovereda mason jar containing forty five point three
grams of marijuana divided into three baggiesinside a lunch bag, and that belonged
to twenty eight year old Jimmy Reid, the teacher's assistant. Oh, I
think Jimmy had some plans all right. Allegedly. Allegedly, I will go
to the RepresentUs of the lobs asof Bodega medicin Subastian for the defense I'd

(36:45):
like to cite the case of Ravyversus blaze it issue. Ravy, do
you recall the gift you were givenat Menice's birthday party most recently? It
was an a big jar, bigglass jar. What was that gift?
Raby candy? Candy? And boy, what did that candy look exactly like

(37:06):
weed buds? It looked exactly likeweed buds in a big mason jar,
which is the sort of thing youwould get, like at a farmer's market
somewhere. It wasn't lab that wasnot labeled weed. I picked it up.
I thought, oh my god,I found I thought that's weed.
So you could easily see how someonecould make the reverse supposition, you like,
oh that's that's that's just candy,not marijuana bus especially if it's in

(37:28):
a mason jar. Number one.Number two, this was not in a
mason jar though. This was inbaggies. But yeah, but within within
the mason jar, right, soyou gotta keep candy fresh. I get
that. So baggies inside a masonjar is what we got here. Just
I want to correct the jury.I just want to help details. Number
two. It wasn't like he wasout there selling it some a whole kid

(37:49):
threw his crap on the ground andhis his candy, his alleged crap.
I would like to agen crap.Talk to coworker here, good point.
I'll toss it over to my cocouncil. This is a nuclear cover up
by the student. You're telling me, an unruly student that is put in
a room by himself discovers weed ina teacher's bag. Who you kidding me?

(38:10):
We're taking the side of the studentin trouble, yes, as opposed
to this calm business teacher. Absolutelyridiculous. You're telling that the student student,
not you, but the cops.The cops are taking the side of
the student that he discovered this weedin the teacher's bag. This student is
absolutely unruly that he has to beput in a room, So we're taking

(38:32):
his side of the stories that hedid not plant this not he's so bad
he's in the room, he thenbecomes more unrually inside the room. And
on top of that, student teachersare America's heroes. We really can go
after them. If it was true, if it was his weed, let
them have weed. Yeah, exactly, even if it were, which we're
not saying it is. But eitherway. I'm not taking the side of

(38:57):
a student that is put in aroom by himself. No discovers weed.
Obviously there has been issues in thepast that he has to be put in
this room by himself. Want toget in your co counsel. Also,
forty five point three grams just anounce and a half. Let's suck.
Come on, it's called that.All right, let's go to the jury.
Is the jury have any further questionsfor the defenses at all? All

(39:19):
right, Greg Gory, We're gonnastart with you. This kid sounds like
a mega snoop. Not guilty forthe teacher's assistant. Not a guilty teacher's
assistant. I mean, I don'tthink he's a snoop. He was just
being angry and just destroying. Hewas destructive. I don't think he was
necessarily snooping. But I also notguilty. Not guilty, thank you,

(39:43):
and a very rare show of mercy. I am also going to rule not
that I need to carry this onebecause both jurors have decided that the teacher
assistant is not guilty. But Ialso put in just a little private note
on the side there not guilty,uh, not guilty. You can't take
the word of some no good kid. Thank you, who, by the

(40:07):
way, as somebody on the textpoints out, shouldn't have been putting the
teachers lounge. Yeah there going through. Yeah, yeah, that's snoop.
All right, We're gonna take abreak and then we'll come back. We
got some more. We'll get onemore case from the law offices of Bodega,
Menace and Sebastian. If you findyourself in a situation, the law
office of Bodega, Menace and Subastianwill be there for you. They'll get

(40:30):
you off. This is the show. Yeah, this is the witty show
yet, the law Offices of Bodega, Menace and Sebastian. Yes, we
have we have time for one morecase. If you guys have it in
you, I don't know if youused up all your lying energy and smartly

(40:53):
register you're not the judge. That'swhy kick you right out. That's a
legal system works. You have oneguy who's in charge no matter what.
That's right, and he can neverbe removed her challenge in this court.
That is absolutely the way it goesAlight, Sammy, what is the next
case? A woman approached a fiveyear old and then attempted to hand the

(41:13):
child's suspected marijuana. Allegedly, that'swhen the child's mother confronted the woman,
and then the woman pulled out aconcealed fire and pointed it at the mother's
head and then fired a shot intothe air and said the next one's for
you. There were two small childrenstanding next to the victim when the shot
rang out. There was a ninemillimeter shell casing that was recovered at the

(41:34):
scene, and a warrant was issuedalong with a search warrant for the woman.
She was arrested at her home,where investigators found a nine milimeter handgun
under her mattress and a record checkshowed that the firearm was stolen during a
robbery incident. All right, soI do have a clarification in this one.

(41:55):
You said that she pulled out aconcealed fire flame or did you mean
to say firearm? Will I willhelp the reader here? That is what
how the story was written. Didshe pull out an actual fire by the
news matches Mario throwing a fireball?So on one hand, that should have
that proofreading would have helped, Buton the other hand, that was that

(42:16):
was the way the actual news storywas she's not here to interpret. She
is here just to report, right, but also sometimes you might have a
little bit of an analytical mind onyourself. How am I saying? Anyway?
Either way you want to start itall start? First off, this
is in Berkeley. Everything is legal, So I don't even know why this
is a story, right, butwe'll go ahead and we'll dive in.

(42:39):
Yeah. Uh, we're just gonnabelieve that the five year old and the
mother on this entire story. Iwasn't doing nothing. I was just mind
my business and this crazy lady walkedup and try to sell weed. I
like to see you or give weedto my case. I like to say
the case of Halloween candy versus everybody. No one is giving your No one

(43:00):
is giving your kid drugs, especiallya five year old. No, because
drugs are expensive. And that's that'seasy right there. If you tried to
ask a five year old to tellyou a story or what happened, they
talk in circles. So I'm surethe mother overreacted this woman. This was
an excuse for whatever pre beep shehad, yeah to go after this woman,

(43:21):
and the woman was just defending herself. Then the gun and I'll let
me say that she fired what awarning shot over her head? Right,
not at anybody? Right. Iwould like to point what do you love
the show Yellowstone? Wouldn't the wholeworld be better if we all just acted
like we were on the Dutton ranch? Right? I'm not allowed to swear

(43:42):
the jury this, Okay, Iknow what the answer to that is.
Yeah, And all she did wasfire a warning shot and a warning shot
on the Dutton ranch. That's ranchjustice right there. Didn't hurt nobody.
She was like Menace was saying,she was being approached by an angry mother
for because I was Yeah, becauseI was selling your five year old weed.
That's what really happened, Okay,ten seconds and the gun was from

(44:06):
a family member at the house.Yeah, we don't care. I don't
know. It could have been anyway, wouldn't self defense the details of the
case, that is the defense beingoffered up by the loss of Bodega Medicine,
Sebastian. We will go to Rabyon this one. That is a
massive swing in a miss defending somesort of evil bitch who just breaks out
of firearm and firelight in front oftwo little kids. Mega were ultra guilty

(44:30):
the mother. I'm sure the mother'sdemeanor was over here. Just check my
ass. I'm sorry. You knowwhat, I realized. I have the
power to shut off microphones as youshould, like they do in courtrooms where
they just turn the microphone off,like and some like the city council meeting.
Sometimes they do that in Communist allthe time. Order, I say,
order Baldy as well, Menace,I'll put you on a sixty day

(44:55):
juice cleanse, calm down, greatGory. I do agree one hundred percent
with your premise that nobody just walksup to a random kid not to sell,
to give the pot away. Here'smy pot, random kid. I
agree with your premise one hundred percent. But to answer that with gun,

(45:15):
I'm sorry, guilty, Warning shot, Greg, warning shots, it's the
mother. I agree with the juryin this picure case. I do find
them guilty. Guilty. I knowwhat. He doesn't block. You are
no rip. She's really going tobe missed. One. There is the

(45:37):
h law offices of Bodega, Menaceand Sebastian Guys for for three. You
find yourself in trouble, they'll giveyou a hand. We're much better.
Not in North Korea, they'll giveyou a hand, they'll get you off.
We're gonna take a break more whathe shows next, hang on,
the show will be right back.We're back Doity Show. We're beginning another

(46:05):
new hour of insensitivity training pre PoliticallyCorrect Worldddy, that's Ravy, there's Greg
Gory. John Menis is here.What is up the mass Here? We've
got Sammy. And then in theWoodie Show production department, there's a board
over there, Hi Board, Caroline'shere. You can't see even if he's
with That room is so dark thatyou know how they have on those movies

(46:34):
or TV shows. There's like aninterrogation room at the police station, and
it just looks like a mirror orwhatever, Like all I can see is
kind of the reflection of the room. I can't really see much in there,
but it's so dark in there.And not to mention, Bord is
all dressed in black, so I'massuming he's waving back when I said,
hey, Board, how are youprogram? Yeah? And then we got

(46:59):
the phones open at eight seven sevenforty four Wooding. That's eight seven seven
forty four Wooding. You can hitsome of the text over to two two
nine eighty seven find us on socialmedia at The Woody Show on Instagram and
Twitter, or on Facebook, Facebookdot com slash the Woodies Show. Come
on up free this hour. Wehave a little game we're gonna play.
We've done this once before, wentover really well. You guys seem to

(47:20):
really like it, so it's back. Chinese restaurant or adult store? Are
to tell between the two? Andyeah, there was a lost in translation
thing that I saw sod This couplethey bought this scooter at a ninety nine
cent store and it came with auser manual that had a bunch of warnings
listed that were the best way tosay, just lost in translation. You

(47:44):
ever get that? Because it's ayou know, it's manufactured some god knows
where else, right, and sothey're trying to translate their instructions or whatever
into English, and a lot oftimes it doesn't really match up word for
word, and they don't know becausewhoever's doing this doesn't speak English. Clearly,
nobody who does or understands both lookedit over. So you get stuff
like don't close fire on the instructionwarnings for the scooter from the ninety nine

(48:09):
cent store, Like there was thisone Chinese restaurant that I went to,
and on the chopsticks on the package, it's like the little paper sleeve for
the chopsticks. Please enjoy our niceChinese food this restaurant. Okay, So
like clearly lost in translation one ofthe other warnings on here must company with

(48:31):
adults when baby is riding. Theprotecting people should company to ensure the safety
when riding. Please keep the speedunder the walk speed. Okay. Please
ride on the planeless ground on theplane planeless ground. Please don't ride on

(48:52):
the forbidden place and ride in rainday or on the slide road. Forbidden
place sounds like something from the NewLord of the yea kind of does.
Don't ride on your back door exactly. And I would add like another layer
to this mistranslation. Greg, isthey bought this way or what store?
Did they buy the scooter? Theninety nine cents four fifteen dollars? I

(49:12):
said, how is it ninety ninecents? I was just talking a bored
about that. He said that theninety nine cent store. Nothing's ninety nine
cents anymore, which I get inflation. They can kind of change the name.
I think it's just called ninety nineor something that nine ninety nine,
and it's like five ninety nine andeight ninety nine day, seven ninety nine.
Dollar general. What's a dollar?Well, no, dollar general.

(49:35):
It means it's a dollar in generalgenerally. Where they stopped being a true
dollars generally, right, yeah,yeah, you called just somewhere around right,
Yeah, our dollars included. Well, there's the other one. Five
and below five and below is actuallyfive and below. We will it's home.
Not all the stuff my kids lovethat store. Yeah, and I've

(49:58):
seen like some of the cell phoneowned accessories or whatever. They're more than
five bucks. Really it's not okay, I mean whatever. Here's here was
one more loss in translation. Don'tmake the hands and legs around the wheel
and the turning part, so thatwould be the wheel I imagine, and
the turning part don't write, Ilike, don't ride it and the turning

(50:21):
place that sounds like sexy. Well, here we go. Here's something else
you can put on the Lonely Personshopping list. A man sized emotional support
teddy bear that's now a thing.A man's size surpris five feet seven inches
tall, sold as an emotional supportpillow. That quote significantly reduces the feeling

(50:43):
of loneliness. Each bear is shapedlike a human with five fingers on each
hand, but it's got a it'sgot a Teddy bear head noise. Oh
my god, this is this verymuch gives off Jeffrey Dahmer vibes. Like
if you watch that Jeffrey Dahmer stuff. He you know, he had that
mannequin that he stole and he cuddledwith until his grandma found it. That

(51:07):
is freezycause here's a picture of awoman with the dressed up one and that's
not so wrong. The thing's builtlike the rock. Oh yeah, really
is teddy bear head? Yeah?What loser would buy that? Somebody who's
really struggle? Yeah, I'm sureit's very reasonable. Right. Well,
a website called puffy bear dot com. I'm glad you asked their seas.
They're selling them for one hundred andsixty dollars plus shipping. Oh wow,

(51:30):
yeah, if you knew somebody thathad that, you would have to have
a word with them, right aright bottle on the from their home site.
It's a chick who oh oh yeah, like, oh yeah, she
looks like the girl from the newJagass movie Rachel whatever, and she's just
like sit there, hold up thisstudy, look a bear. There was
not a hot chick on earth whohas bought one of these things to use

(51:52):
it for its legitimate purpose. No, I mean doesn't have a penis no
built in anyway. The website saysthat he arrives naked with no clothes,
but you can dress them up howeveryou want. Oh my gosh, you
have to dress him too. Yeah, he fits into large and extra large
men's clothing. Again, this isthis is how it shows up at your
house, right, just yeah,I mean says you don't have to buy
It's like not like build a berryto buy specialty. You can get any

(52:13):
clothes from anywhere. Yeah, rightstrap Separately, I say his color is
milky brown. Every every model isthis? Howk girl? Who would never
have this in a thousand years?Right? Oh that's so pathetic. Soft
light, comfortable, conform every person. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Greg? One? One pillow?Yeah, well under my head one

(52:37):
really? But now when I makethe bed, there's nineties you do I
do? No worry hurts more thanno, No, there's not on rest
of all my stomach side sleeper.Okay, so one pillow under my head,
and then I'll have another one oneach side because I usually kind of
usually kind of help prop myself up, so I'm that full on my stomach,

(52:57):
so I kind of have one theside. But that's just the Some
people like to have a pillow betweentheir legs, like between their knees.
Yeah, something like that. Butthat's nice. Like even like I thought,
oh, when my wife was donewith the pregnancy pillow, because she
had that, you know that's likea big long I should get one of
those. Yeah, like maternity pillow, you know, like a body pillow,

(53:20):
a body pillow. I used tohave one of those, and I
thought, like that'd be cool.Man. That things sucked. It was
too big. Yeah, they're reallynot even like king size pillows. Those
are too long. Yeah. Ijust used it in the weather pillow as
like a body pillow. Yeah.I'm telling you. The best pillows that
I found, and I've tried allkinds really super cheap, you know,
seven dollars ones to really expensive onesto try to find good ones that wouldn't

(53:43):
give me like a headache by sleepingon them. The best pillows I found
there are Simmons Beauty Rest black pillows. They sell in a two pack at
Costco. Really real? Yeah?Really? Is it the foamy ones or
no? They're like it's like awhat do they call it? Synthetic down?
Yeah? Yeah, and you knowwhat my wife likes though. For

(54:05):
me, they're the perfect firmness.They're not too squishy, they're not too
firm, and they uh, theylasted the decent amount of time and they'll
getting completely misformed and all. LikeI like the gel ones. Yeah,
yeah, I tried those. Doyou know what I like? Is uh
not a sponsor. Pillows dot Comcould be a sponsor. You could get

(54:27):
billows from like all the different hotels, Like, Oh, I like this
hotel pillow. You can order it. Have I seen the pillow that's a
square? Yes? The cube cube? Yeah, I've been thinking about the
cube. I know, I wonderif it's any good. Oh, Greg
would think it was still unsightly.It's a cube. Yeah, it's it's

(54:47):
a cube. Really yeah, squishesdown because you have to get a specialty
case for it and everything. Ohdefinitely, yeah, but that would be
unsightly. How would you make youwouldn't you somewhere sitting on top of your
bed? Well, you get itfor its natural purpose, which is to
sleep on. Then you can hideit somewhere. Greg, if company is

(55:08):
coming over, they wouldn't see yourcube, Pulo, No, they would
not. They say it's for sidesleepers specifically. Yeah, and I am
a size sleeper. I have beencontemplating getting the cube just to try it
out. I'll check it out.Yeah, I didn't know if anybody had
tried it yet. No, No, I've never even if anybody listenings.
Try to let me know commercials.But it does make Instagram feed. It

(55:31):
doesn't make sense because if with theregular pillow, your your neck is kind
of it is, but the cubeit's perfectly straight. Now if you think
that's ugly for your beg, Greg, pillow cube also has a cross sleeper,
so they have basically one side's thecube for the side sleeper. The
other side has a dent in itfor your back sleeper so you don't crank

(55:51):
your neck. And so it's basicallylike a lego blocket that looks like a
sex weg. It looks like itlooks like it looks like one of those
three M hooks out. Yeah,that's a good description. Yeah, Like
if you're like to hang a wreathon your front door. Yeah, like
we're the bottom of the notch.That is where you put like uh oh
they do so they do so coversfor them. Great? All right,

(56:12):
Yeah, somebody said the cube isawesome, real cube pillow. Well it's
weird because I'm a back and sider, so I'm always having to adjust the
pillow. Yeah, I turn allright, Well let us know on those
cube pillows. Curious, I know, because it does not look I know
it doesn't, but it does makesense. Actually, we have a dumb
ass contest comeling up for you afterthe break, Chinese Restaurant or Adult Store.

(56:35):
So we're going to play that nexton the Woody Show. Hang,
I now know a small number ofincorrect facts. They've out an extremely large
number of things. The largest manin the universe show all right wants he
wants to play a little game.Let's play. All right, we got

(56:57):
a game called Chinese Restaurant or AdultStore. We've played this once before,
and I seem to remember everybody doingreally well except for me. Okay,
oh yeah, I remember this beingvery difficult it is, and that we
all sucked good. I think thatwas really good. I think that well

(57:19):
that is true, right, exceptmostly get my list here everything all right,
here we go, I got aI got a list, ready to
go. All right, lights joband here we go. Chinese restaurant or
adult store? All right, therewe go. I gotta get to gotta

(57:40):
set the tone, all right?All right? Is it a Chinese restaurant
or an adult store? Best keptsecret? Best kept secret? Best kept
secret is that a Chinese restaurant oran adult store? Difficult already to say

(58:00):
adults adult store secret. Hmmm,I'm gonna say restaurant, Chinese restaurant,
Chinese restaurant. I think you're tryingto throw us off, So I'm gonna
say restaurant, restaurant, sammy,adult store, adult store? Best kept
secret is an adult store? Damn, that was too easy. Don't overtake

(58:20):
it, man, I know itcould. It's fifty to fifty. Yeah,
but that was definitely adult trickery washappening alright me too, Uh,
Chinese restaurant or adult store? Happytales, Happy tales. Happy tales means

(58:42):
that a Chinese restaurant or an adultstore restaurant. I'm gonna go restaurant.
I'm gonna say store, restaurant,that is an adult store? Yeah,
happy tales. I don't want totell you how they hold in those tales.
All right, Chinese restaurant or adultstore. I don't know if I

(59:07):
can say that one. Oh,all right, On to the next fat
f A T K okay, Ohno, you probably can't, Hilaire restaurant.
Is that a Chinese restaurant or anadult store? That's a restaurant,

(59:28):
rest restaurant. That is a Chineserestaurant. You can see where I was?
Yeah, sure, I see aboutyou. He just walked in.
Its very tough. Okay, wait, Next up, Chinese restaurant or adult
store. My beloved's garden, Mybeloveds garden was at a restaurant or an

(59:58):
adult store? Adult store? Allright? Ravy restaurant, restaurant, menace
store? All right, adult store, adult store. I'm sure that's a
delicious restaurant has to be that isan adult store. Yeah, see,
we're at them. I want togo. I want to go visit them.

(01:00:22):
Next up, Chinese restaurant or adultstore. The name is top off,
top off, top off, topoff, t O P O F
F top off restaurant, restaurant,rest door, adult store, See Benz,

(01:00:46):
sorry looking at they've got strap onsall right, yeah, at your
beloved guard and thrusting toys. Allright's not gonna be an answer, right,
So I didn't listen to that's atop off store. Who cares?
That's an adult store? All right? Well it's the game. Who cares?

(01:01:07):
I mean the game. That's whatthe game is as focused on.
They got pegging, pegging supplies.Where's it? Where's it located? It's
online? It's online, all right. Chinese restaurant or adult store? Next
up, fuk you hi u erestaurant, restaurant. I think I've been

(01:01:30):
there. That is a restaurant,all right. Next up, tap the
Asian, Tap the Asian? Isit a Chinese restaurant or an adult store?

(01:01:52):
Adults? Adult store? Restaurant?Adult store? That is a restaurant.
That's probably a guy named Tap,right yeah, Tap, like yeah,
yeah, well I knew a guynamed Tam. A new guy named
there's a new guy named Tam.Maybe there's a guy. Oh okay,

(01:02:13):
you don't know, you don't knowabsolutely, but meda snows yeah, thank
you? Oh my god? Adress just like that? So it's purple
on its pants? Oh well yeah, Also, you kinda kind of cheated
on that one. It's tap theAsian product. Tap the Asian tap stands
for the Asian product. Okay,yeah, let's see it's like a nice

(01:02:34):
place. What about the hidden vault, the hidden vault, the hidden vault?
Is that a Chinese restaurant or anadult store? Adult? Everybody's on
that's a that's an adult store.Let's go there, let's go, let's
go, let's go on a fieldtrip to the adult store. It's in

(01:02:55):
a US in a strip mall nextto the House of Vinyl and DA Hair
connect nice all right, This nextone is come down. Yeah k U
M D e M. That's whatI named my bedroom. You know what
I'm saying. Hell yeah, bro. Restaurant? Is that a Chinese restaurant

(01:03:19):
or an adult storet adult store?That is a restaurant? Yes, I
believe it's in Australia. Also,how's there pop? I don't think they
have pie this Chinese restaurant. Allright, here, I'll give you one
more. So do fun so funso do fun restaurant, restaurant, restaurant

(01:03:45):
store, I said, restaurant.Oh I didn't hear. You're the only
one that was the first one tosay restaurant. So do Fun is an
Asian restaurant easy pas Menace. Youmight have been there because it's in New
York. Yeah, oh no,not a timewhere so oh yeah, then
I haven't been there. Yeah,to another place called Enjoyable Place. Yeah,

(01:04:08):
it's the same. It's so funhe is. Yeah, my friend
Tim was there. When you're inManhattan, the only Chinese restaurant you go
to is Panda Express. We allknow that. Do they have an elevator?
Well, that's how you play aChinese restaurant or adult store. He
gave us ten I was fifty tofifty. Oh no, we're gonna take
a quick break. We got somemore Woodies show for you. Next,

(01:04:29):
Hank Woody show is going to stepAway'll be right back though soon. I
think of kittens. Okay, thisguy seems cool, probably won't murder me.
Yeah, this is the Woodie Show. I got a tremendous amount of
satisfaction kind of the story when Iread it. This woman shared a story

(01:04:50):
about how she was hired for abrand new department at her company, which
the other departments didn't like because ifthis department worked as planned, it was
going to take some of the businessaway from them, but they're like restructuring
a bunch of different things, youknow. Okay, So the leaders of
those other departments conspired against her anddid everything in their power not to give

(01:05:15):
her an office. And I've seensomething similar play out before where people were
being petty about the offices. Imean, like a physical office space for
someone to work. And so therewas one guy in particular around here that
was really big on that. Ithink you know who I'm talking about,
puckashell guy. Yeah, yeah,So we always called him. He was
big on that kind of thing.Absolutely, well, I think you can

(01:05:38):
just work here in this cubicle.So anyway, she didn't have a normal
place to work, and instead ofbitching about it, she just did her
job wherever she could find a spot. Like some days it was in the
mail room, other days it wasin the break room, and she's just
sitting there doing her workpt her mouthshut, did her work, and her
plan was it the right piece.People would eventually notice, and they did.

(01:06:02):
One day, the President came throughthe mailroom asked why, hey,
why are you working in here?Aren't you in an office? And she
was clearly annoyed. She told thePresident that she didn't have an office because
she was told there weren't any available, according to whom, Oh, mister
so and so middle manager. Yeah, well you've been working here for what
three months? I could have foundyou a space by now. So now

(01:06:25):
the boss. She's pissed. Sheasked a few more questions than made her
way off to mister so and so'soffice. The president then called the woman
too the conference room, where misterso and so and the other managers who
had been messing with her were allsitting at the conference room table like kids
who were called to the principal's office. There were a pile of keys on
the table to the offices of eachperson in that room. But the president

(01:06:49):
then handed her a key to theconference room where they were sitting and said,
this is your office. Now makeit your own. Your office is
the largest office on campus. Enjoy, and then she walked out. She
said it was the best drop themic she'd ever seen in your life.
And all the other people at thetable became really good colleagues except for mister
so and so. Wow, thatwas it, and the conference room must

(01:07:11):
be huge. Yeah, well,remember we got the conference room at that
one radio station where we first workedmy rights. It used to be a
conference room and they made that intoour office and it was gigantic. It
was okay, yeah, I forgotabout that. That converted because it was
right between the program director's office andthe studio. That was huge, massive,
It was gigantic. Yeah. Weeach had our own corner on the
corner of the room. Corner.That's right. Like when they said go

(01:07:33):
to your corners, we could allgo to our corner. Yeah. Now
we're in there so tight window ReaganRaby, don't even sit in there.
No, well, that's more roomfor you to pile papers on there there.
It's most I stick to my ownsection. You have a nice corner
you wanted to take over that,you could put them on medicine. SeaBASS

(01:07:54):
and I are the only ones thatare in that office. I just I
just thought that was I thought thatwas awesome. Seams parts in there too.
He does good Lord, not whenyou guys are there with me,
bus as, but it's still lingers. It lingers. So there was one
day last week where it was duringa break, I had to run in
there to uh go grab something outof the office. I swear to god,

(01:08:15):
I walked right into someone's calling.Yeah dude, and he wasn't even
in there. It reads so badlike fresh, I know, fresh horrific.
That sounds like it is we needa better air circulation. Yeah,
but it's the smells that keeps meout of there. Just like going back
to the work thing, when whenpeople are are jerks to your work,

(01:08:38):
like those middle manager types, andthen it gets the attention of the upper
level management. Man, is thatsatisfying? It happened, Uh, it
happened to us, well to mespecifically. I got called into this meeting
and there was that middle manager PukaShell guy sitting there and he started having
this conversation and I'm like, man, I thought you were out of my
life, Like why are you here? And I pointed right at as I

(01:09:00):
think my finger was like so,I said why is And so there was
another person across the desk. I'mlike, why is he here? Like
well blah, I'm like, hegoes a ball. I'm like, if
you're my boss, you can fireme right now. He goes, well,
I am your boss. I'm like, you're not my boss. If
you wanted to fire me, you'dhave to go to like seven people above
you it's the best. Yeah,and so like, uh, hey,
well I bought uh okay, okay. Anyway, the guy who's like the

(01:09:27):
boss of the cluster of radio stationsthat we're at, like the market president,
he walked by and he saw somethingtense was going on and he knows
I don't like this dude, andhe opened his uh open the door of
the office. He goes, what'sgoing on here? I'm like, I
don't know, what did ye?I say a couple of things, and
this guy jumped Pucas Shell jumps inand says well. He says, I'm
not his boss, and he goes, well, you're not. I said,

(01:09:48):
I told him he's not my bossbecause he can't fire me. He
goes, well, that's true.He goes, you can't fire him.
He goes, I can't fire him. I'd have to get permission from somebody
to fire him. Like, soneither one of you are my boss?
Why are we having this com conversation? Man? That was so satisfying.
And then the people at like thecorporate offices, they took this guy completely
out of our universe, so wenever had to deal with this guy ever
again. It was a day.It was great. He was never then

(01:10:12):
up in our business about stuff,but he helped us with so many things.
Oh yes, he was always inthe way causing problem. Yeah,
but it was so when the guyat the corporate level when he told me,
you know what, I'm just gonnamove him completely out of your like
you you don't have to deal withhim anymore, I'm like, oh yeah.
So like I I'd walked by hisoffice like a day or two later,

(01:10:34):
and I just looked at him mysmile. I'm like, hey,
man, because I knew. Iknew he had that conversation. He wasn't
happy about it. He was afreak. He very much had that Mike
the Show Killer sort of thing,where like his he thought his job was
to insert himself in everything and makelife harder for everyone. Yeah, that's
not your job. Yeah. Andthe thing is, just like Mike the

(01:10:54):
Show Killer, when he got outsideof work, he was really cool,
nice guy guy. You can hangout with him, have beers or whatever,
and he was cool. But man, here at work, man,
that guy sucked. But man wasthat satisfying. The person across the desk
when I pointed in his face freakedout. You could just see like the

(01:11:15):
nerves like, oh my god,because that was her boss. Yeah,
so serious? So whose side doesshe take? You know? She knew
I was right, but at thesame time you all was really I made
it really awkward. All right,we got take a break more Woody shows.
Next, hang on the show.Well, time to get to know

(01:11:42):
the newest person who was joined theWoodies show. Her name is Sammy Marino.
There, she is right there,and so we do this with all
the new people. That's how welearned that Christina lived in Croatia, right,
very interesting. Yeah, that wasa story her getting to know you
thing. So Sammy, everybody inhere in the room is prepared some questions

(01:12:04):
and we're just going to try toget to know you a little bit better.
Now. I do know that you'refrom Massachusetts originally, right right,
and then you moved to California withyour family in junior high I think we
talked about that, right and thenshe she graduated from Valencia High School in
Valencay, California, Santa Karita.And did you did you play any sports

(01:12:24):
growing up? I was a cheerleader. Cheerleader, yes, all right,
now is that a real sport?Yes? And no? To me,
sports are competitive. So if I'mcheering at a game, not necessarily because
I'm not competing against anybody, butwhen you are at a competition, because
there's cheer competitions. Yes, okay, Now were you a bitchy cheerleader or

(01:12:45):
like? Where did you get alongwith everybody? Yeah? You mean,
girl? I think I got alongwith everybody? Yeah, because I I
mean I you know, I didn'tknow a lot of cheerleaders, no way,
like I had. You know,he switched schools, so I did.
And I also had friends in likeeach little group, you know what
I mean. So like I like, you know, I knew people who

(01:13:09):
are cheerleaders. I wouldn't say they'relike my best friends or whatever, but
you know, it's a it's toughbeing popular. Usually it was the jocks
that hung out with the cheerleaders.Yeah. Yeah, who wants to start
with the questioning what do you dofor fun? I really like to crochet?
Crochet, but it's a very surprisingthing, crochet. What do you

(01:13:34):
make? Blankets? Stars? Reallythings? Yeah? What can you make?
I'm a Harry Potter fan, StarWars fan. Okay, you know
I yeah, I'm a Star Warsfan. Okay, I think we did
mention this. We were talking inthe interview process. Now, you just

(01:13:54):
recently and when I say recently,like over the last handful of years saw
Star Wars. Yes, I hadno interest in Star Wars whatsoever. When
I heard about it, I justsaid no, not for me. I
decided to watch all of them duringthe pandemic and I loved it. I
just couldn't get enough. Yeah.Interesting, So you're in your early thirties

(01:14:16):
thirty four, thirty four, andthen we learned recently that she's been married.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, thatwas gonna be my question. Yeah,
because you mentioned it just the otherday and that we didn't really ask
too much about it. When didyou get married? How long were you
married? I got married I thinkwhen I was twenty seven and I was

(01:14:38):
married a mile so yeah, lifemoment. Yeah I was married for a
year. Oh wow, oh mygod. Yeah, okay, so you
know I was married once before?Was was it did something happen? Was
it like a like a big blowup or like my wife, my first

(01:14:59):
wife and I we just we gotmarried really young. By the time we
were thirty, we were completely differentpeople. Uh, they're trying to figure
out how answer honestly. Yeah,his drinking was a problem for Oh.
The thing is that it's like,oh, so you didn't know about this
before you got married, and Idid, but it just got worse,

(01:15:23):
okay, oh yeah, yeah,and so you pulled the rip chord before,
right, yeah, And you knowwhat the smartest thing you did was
not have kids. Yeah, LikeI knew with my first wife, like,
no kids like that would have becausethen if it doesn't work out,
if it doesn't work out, youknow, like this is the person that
you're gonna have to feel with.Oh yeah, if it doesn't. It
sound like you knew it wasn't gonnawork out. Yeah, well at the

(01:15:45):
time, because when when you firstget married and got married young, it
was one of those things like wewere just married for a while and neither
one of us was interested in havingkids, and all of a sudden she
gained an interest in having kids andpretty strongly, and I still wasn't there.
I was. I was always,much like some of the other people
that we know, very much anever kids guy for the longest time until
until my wife now, and mywife was always very much a never kids

(01:16:09):
person. Right. Yeah. Sohave you have you ever been to jail.
I have not been to jail.No, that's what You've been arrested.
Because I've been arrested a couple oftimes. I've never been in jail.
Have you been arrested? Don't yougo to jail after you get arrestled.

(01:16:32):
Don't take you to jail in betweenthat A lot of people don't know
about, which is called the drunkTank. Okay, nice? Oh yeah,
and that's at the jail, right, Is that not about the jail.
So I was about nineteen at thetime, and I had gone to
Mexico with my friends. We justdecided to go over the border and go

(01:16:55):
to Mexico and we got very drunk. And it was when I was coming
back into the United States and Iwas nineteen and I was very drunk that
they went they arrested me and theysaid, you know, basically, come
with me, and then they shuttleeveryone to the drunk Tank, which is
in San Diego, and you justsleep there for the night on mats and
then you wake up and go home. Awesome. In Mexico, the legal

(01:17:16):
drinking age is eighteen, right orany age. Yeah. Well, I'm
saying like, if you go theresorts and you know you have h Yeah,
you can drink there the street.Hold on, there's more to this
story, because you're not just inthe backseat of a car and the border
patrol. Hold on, you're drunk. We're taking What do you do right?
We walked over. Well, here'sthe thing. I was blacked out
there you go, so I don'tremember getting arrested, and I came to

(01:17:44):
in handcuffs, sitting in like abungalow with throw up all over me and
no shoes on. So that wasthe same. But all of my friends
have this story like waking up inthe drunk tank. What happened? Yeah,
what happened? No one told youwhat like your friends didn't have any
kind of story, like you're gettingmouthy with they did control or something.
It's not that I got mouthy,but I guess they just asked me how

(01:18:06):
old I was, and I guessI decided I was gonna lie, but
I'm a terrible liar, so Isaid twenty one, twenty nineteen, I'm
nineteen years old and I'm allowed tobe drunk in Mexico. And they were
like, all right, let's seeyour idea. And I was nineteen.
They were just like yeah, you'regonna come with us. You'll probably covered
in pit, right, and then, so what happened? Did your parents
have to come get you or howdoes that work? My friends had called

(01:18:29):
my sister. My sister did callmy parents in the middle of the night,
and my dad answered the phone andshe said, Sam got arrested in
Mexico. Can you imagine that call? Yeah, and nobody goes where she
is? Uh? And my dadsaid, well, she got herself in
there, she can get herself outand hang up the phone. Were your
parents really strict? No? No, no, But my sister did find

(01:18:54):
me. She somehow called around everywhere, and so when I woke up,
she had come walked through the door, and I was just so grateful.
All right, Greg Gory, Iwant to know if you consider yourself a
shy person, and I'm asking thatfor a reason. I am shy at
first, and then I open up. Okay, yeah it sounds like most

(01:19:15):
people. Yeah, I mean thatmakes sense quite honestly. We're trying to
feel her out too, you know, because like we are wildly inappropriate exact
year, and like we have to, like I remember when like Cameron or
Randy or whoever worked on this showstarted, like everybody and I even told
Sam, I was like, everybodyis on their best behavior just so you

(01:19:35):
know, we're trying to feel outlike just how Yeah, I mean,
because we joke about all kinds ofstuff, and I want to know what
your take is on cancel culture.Oh, I mean I think it's out
of hand. I mean when itcomes to that, it's everybody having opinions

(01:19:57):
on stuff that they know probably verylit about. I don't. I just
don't like it. Yeah, Imean, do you get into politics at
all? Do you get into likelike see, that's the thing is,
like we we don't like to getinto that kind of stuff at all.
No, there's no win there exactly. Like we don't like vehical correctness obviously
because we just want to be likelike what we're talking about off the air,
like how we are just talking toeach other whatever, like there's no

(01:20:19):
harm, no foul whatever, likewhat we're talking We bust each other's balls
and have fun, you know.But there's some you know that when you
get into people like in their takeon stuff. Now, it's like you
can't even you can't do that rightbecause of political correctness. It doesn't mean
anything That's the thing is with thehot topics, you're not going to change
anybody's mind. I guess that's myopinion is that people get so strong on

(01:20:42):
what they believe, and they're justtrying to get you to believe what they
believe, and it's just a viciouscycle of that. Nobody's been planning on
changing their minds. Are you intolike horoscopes, full moons, planets being
aligneda is your chockrah? Yeah?Let me ask you a question. Are

(01:21:03):
you ever going to say to us, well, mercury is in retrograde?
Wait? You, I will tellyou every single time it's in retrograde?
What does mean? What does thatmean? It's when mercury is essentially stalled,
so it's not moving forward, butappears to be moving backwards, but
it's not. It's just in oneplace. Okay, So how's that affect

(01:21:24):
us? Well, it affects communicationand technology and things like that, so
you will notice miscommunications and technology goingdown and all. But how stuff,
what do you mean? How?Yeah? What does the position of that
planet have to do with communication andtechnology? Well? I guess I don't
know the answers say moments ago,because people talking about stuff they really don't

(01:21:46):
know anything about it. Yeah.True, we used to, like you
just said that, we used toorder this guy and every once in a
while he would just be in awowl mood, very really bad mood,
and just like, oh, avoidhim. He's in a bad mood,
and you go, sorry, guys, mercury retro grade. How does it
affect your body? And right?Menace? So you only have one sister,

(01:22:11):
that's it? No, No,you have multiple. I have two
older sisters and a younger brother.Oh really? And uh is your parents
still together? Are they still married? Yes? My parents are still married.
Oh so it's all. It's agood example for the kids, setting
together for the kids like that.Now, do you ever see yourself because
after because I was swore off gettingremarried and then here I am married and

(01:22:31):
kids. I do you have anyinterest in getting remarried at some point or
having kids or any of that kindof stuff. I do, but I'm
not so attached to it. Likeif I if I find somebody who I
really love and I want to getmarried and I want to have kids with
them, yes I would do that, but I don't have any plans without
having a person in my life.And thinking that I have to Yeah,

(01:22:54):
okay, that's fair enough. Whatis the coolest thing that has happened in
your life to this point? Oh, the coolest, like the coolest thing
other than meeting Raving, I meanto do for somebody else or like somebody
got the witness. There's Yeah,there's been a lot of cool things in
my life. But I would saygoing to the World Series. Yeah,

(01:23:18):
going to the World Series. That'swhat menace that was on me. The
thing is is that I had neverbeen to a championship sort of game like
that, and just the energy isoff the charts. I would go to
every single championship game of every sportjust to be in the energy of that

(01:23:39):
crowd, Like I wish I couldrelive it all the way. It's differently
you go to a championship game ofany it's different. Yeah. Yeah,
there's just like the play is fast, you know, the energy is just
like palpable, Like you feel you'renot even on the field or you know,
on the ice read but you justfeel that. Yeah. Like,
I mean your teams are I know, we we've discussed a little bit.
You're you're a Patriots fan, Yes, you're Red Sox fan. Good lord,

(01:24:03):
so many strikes. Yeah, didyou know this ahead of time?
I thought I did not. Allright, so we're talking to the newest
member of the Woody Show. SammyMorino is here, and we're gonna take
a quick break. We'll come backif you have a couple of stories as
listeners. If you have a storyor I'm sorry story a question for Sammy,

(01:24:26):
hit us up on the text twoto nine eighty seven, and then
we'll get a couple more questions inthere, and that'll be coming up right
after the break. It is theWoody Show. Hango. Okay, the
bloody bullet points next. Who thehell you adult baby? All right,
well, we have some more questions. Sammy Marino is our newest remember here

(01:24:48):
at the Woody Show. She's anew producer here on the show. And
we've got some questions here from listeners. Okay, yeah, now, Greg,
you said that you saw I wanton the text that you wanted to
ask. Yes, this is perhapsmy favorite question off the text. Okay,
question for Sammy. What is seventythree minus four sixty nine? Yes,

(01:25:15):
that's high on Greg's lines. SoI'll throw back for we'll throw back
for Yeah, the listeners here,I have an interviewer. The other day
we played radio's must mature game GuessWhose Gas? What did you think of
it? Did you like it?You didn't seem to laugh too hard?

(01:25:36):
Hurt? Did you like it?I did like it? Are you lying
now? You could be computed.I don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt
our feelings. I mean it wasfine. Yeah, okay, fine.
What's the one thing people misunderstand aboutyou? That's a question off the text.
I would say that I can comeoff at the start people think I'm

(01:26:01):
very bitchy because I'll be cold anddistant sort of to new people, and
then they see me with people thatI know and then are like, well,
why is she being this way tome? Because I'm very nice and
friendly to people that I know.So I can come off when I'm new
as being bitchy. You and Rabycould be sisters from that yet though,
Yeah? Right? C bass.On a scale of one to ten,

(01:26:24):
that's a question from the text.I have won four. I know how
my makeup on this morning, I'dgive them a six, A six,
yeah, solid sick, a hardsix. Does she blaze it? Yes?
I used to a lot more nowI haven't in quite a while.
Yeah, don't give You're more ofa drinker, right, more of a

(01:26:45):
drinker, more of a drinker.And then we come back to blazing light
beer. That's your thing, lightbeer beer. What famous person does Sammy
most look like? That's a questionfor us, Well, not like what
would you say? This is?These are questions for her. It's like,
well, I can say people thatwhat I've been told by other people
is I've got I've got Kara DeLavigne, I think because of the eyebrows,

(01:27:10):
and I've got like sure who thatis? Oh really, she's like a
model. And I've gotten like alike a young Michelle Pfeiffer, but that's
I And I've gotten Jessica Simpson.I mean, these people are all across
the board. None of them lookalike, so I don't know how I
look like any of them. Okay, uh Sea mass what is your question?

(01:27:31):
Well, first short one to begin, Let's say you owed let's say
the Show of Breakfast because or someother promise you made. It's got a
wager where if if we won,you would provide breakfast. What is the
maximum allowed amount of time it wouldtake for that breakfast to show up in
studio. Probably about a week thatsounds good. Not a week? Okay?

(01:27:56):
What would anything over a week?Would that be? Well, that
would be be over by then youwouldn't Yeah, be too long. It's
too long, right you feel bad? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
yeah, you would feel like acomplete loser, right, Yeah,
Like I would feel like I wasn'tdoing my job. Yeah, yeah,
talking about I want to see.Bass's favorite question is do pineapples belong on
pizza? Oh? Yeah, Ilove that question. It's so interesting,

(01:28:18):
great question. No, of course, are you pro or against Georges?
Against against cargo shorts? Actually?Four four? Yeah? I think they
serve a purpose and to me,yeah all rights. Have you ever attended
a like a rally or a marchor any sort of political or otherwise I'm

(01:28:42):
not talking about like a victory paradeeven like an Activisty, what's the closest
thing to that sort of thing you'veyou've hit in? Yeah? Never,
I mean never, the closest thing. I did a walk for diabetes,
I mean, but no, noprotests, no protests? What? Okay?
Follow up? What could get youabout to protest or march or is
there anything that would get you to, uh, you know, go to

(01:29:03):
Michael's, get the materials, makea sign. Yeah, I'm just not
that person. I don't know thatthere's anything right. So if you're a
fan, you were in prisoned inI don't know China, you wouldn't go
say please free them. But Ifeel like I would be a one person

(01:29:25):
march. I don't want protesting bymyself. Don Marino. A favorite movie,
Oh, favorite movie. I don'teven know why this is coming to
mind right now, but I'll saywhen Harry met Sally, when like a
person like you hang out, Ilike stuff like that. Yeah, what
about favorite music? Country? Ilike country music? And then I yeah,

(01:29:49):
and then I like like singer songwriters. I love Billy Joel. I
love Billy Joel. So I don'tknow what category that is? Okay,
old person like Raby's Uh, Raby'smain crush is Jason Momoa. Is that
still accurate, Rave? Or havewe moved on to very crush worthy for
sure? Yeah? All right?Like who is your ultimate celebrity crush?

(01:30:14):
Okay, right now, my ultimatecelebrity crush for real is Adam Devine.
I love it. Yes, Iknow I get that right, but I
think he's the best. You knowmore and partly Greg. He's from the
movie Jackxy, my new favorite movie. Yes, I love that such a
good Have you seen Jacksy? Idid watch it? Not so damn funny?

(01:30:38):
Yes it is, But I everthink a phone could be funny?
No, I didn't. Movie isa miracle. It's so good. Well,
we're happy you're here. I hope. I'm happy to be here.
I hope we haven't made a badimpression. Again, everybody's been trying to
be on there. I think theirbest behavior because we're trying to like not
scare people away immediately. Sure,yeah, what you disagree with that statement?

(01:31:01):
Ray, I feel like I've beenon my typical behavior. Yeah,
okay. I think honesty out ofthe gate is important. Okay, but
would you say that for the restof us, like you, guys,
Greg, I've been Yeah. Greg'squestion was, would you report me to

(01:31:21):
HR? Yeah, that's the mostimportant thing. Yes, should be inappropriate.
I've been pin drop quiet. What'syour stance on adult males wearing crocs?
It's a question on the text morespecifically with the little charm things in
them, the jibs jibs. Whatdo you think of the jib game.

(01:31:43):
I mean, I just feel likeyou do you people who wear crocs say
they're so comfortable and they want torock them. Let them Okay, I
mean, if you're looking at thelook you're going, why don't look at
it and say, oh, whata fashionable person? Now all right,
Sammy Marino, everybody, we're gonnatake a break next time the show in

(01:32:08):
sensitivity training for a politically correct worldshow. I don't care about your feelings.
Greg Gory had a story again,Greg, just got this dog?
How long did you get this dog? We got her in July, so
late julyau heince late July. Atleast once a week, Greg's coming in
here complaining about something having new withthe dog. Yeah I don't think she
destroyed or yeah exactly, heat on. And then we get into the whole

(01:32:30):
thing about how much he regrets gettingthe dog. Oh, I got dog
poop in my mouth that day,right exactly? So what now? So
we have this small little corner ofour backyard. The backyard itself is very
small, and we wanted to getthe artificial turf put in, but then
we got estimates and thought, damn, who are we? Bill Gates can't
afford it, So during the rainyseason, we put down some grass seed,

(01:32:55):
hoping that it'll just grow naturally.Well, the grass seed obviously attracts
a lot of birds. The dogCallie, not to be confused with MENACE's
sister, has realized that there's alwaysbirds now hanging out there, and lately
the birds include doves. If youknow anything about doves, you know they
don't move very quickly. So yesterdayI let Callie out to do her little

(01:33:16):
business and she goes chasing after thisdove. The dove's like and tries to
take off Callie's Callie freaks it outso bad and as chasing after this dove
that I'm thinking, stupid dove goairborne, but no, it's going perfectly
straight right into the sliding glass door, flops onto the ground. Callie rabs

(01:33:42):
it, blood spurts out, feathers. The bird poops because obviously it's literally
scared to death. Blood feathers flyingaround. I am wearing Ravey's favorite outfit
of jeans flip flops with socks,trying to trying to chase Callie around the
pool. I'm like, leave it, drop it, drop it, glly,

(01:34:06):
drop it, drop it. AndI'm running around the backyard chasing her
drop it, leave it, andthere's feathers and there's blood, and there's
this dead eff and dove. Actuallyit was dying. It wasn't quite dead
yet. Wings are still going.Like she finally drops this thing, she
wants to grab it again. SoI pick her up, put her into

(01:34:29):
the house, and I run out, thinking like maybe this bird can be
saved. No, the bird isa crumpled, bloody, mangled mess.
And I watched it kind of doits last three or four like woo flops,
and then the wing went oo.You watched it, watched it die?
Did you flush it? Or oh? Hell no? I went inside

(01:34:54):
called Mario and said, you havea job. When you get home,
you need to go scoop up thisbird and put it in the trash can
because I had already taken the trashout. He was out on the street
and I'm like, I'm not walkinga dead bird in my pooper scooper all
the way to the street. It'sI can't even do it. So he
had to come home, sweep itinto the pooper scooper and take it out.
And I witnessed this bird getting murderedand then on the way to the

(01:35:15):
garbage cans by the way, littledroplets of blood. It was so disturbing
and I couldn't none see it.Today I'm laughing about it, but yesterday
I was shaking, and I thought, like, what should we bury the
bird? Like what do we dowith the bird ceremony? And then I
started getting mad at Dubs, likewhy don't you fly faster? You see
the bird? You have the benefitof being a bird, go up,

(01:35:40):
go your yeah, instead straight intoa wall. Idiot, stupid bird.
But it's not fun to watch abird's last breath. So did the dog
have like a whole mouthful of bloodor feathers? It wasn't a mouthful of
blood, but she definitely had inher little feathers. And then I thought

(01:36:01):
I told her to her face,I said, you are not going to
kiss me today with your bird mouth? Yeah. How sad was she she
was? She could tell I wasmad all night. She was looking at
me like, yeah, he toldthat dog, don't kiss me. You
care with your Hey, that's someserious punishment, that's consequences her action,

(01:36:26):
And she could tell that you weremad, Like I understand I was mad.
The insect thing could you have athing with insects? But like,
why wouldn't you clean the bird up? It was doves are big, and
it just grossed me out and itwas so mangled and you could see a
little trickle of blood. He's calling, Mario, when you get home you
have a job, Sure, said, I'll take care of it. And

(01:36:48):
then you, like, you know, walk up to him afterwards, put
your hands on his chest. YouI love it when you fix stuff.
I told him how brave he wasfire fighter. I didn't examine. Yeah,
I said, you're my hero.I should try to say that.
Yeah. Yeah, clearly it wasa needed saving mouth the mouth on it,

(01:37:11):
mouth to beef hot walk around.Well, here's the question is is
Kelly gonna get daddy kisses today?I think I'm gonna make her wait another
day? Right right? That alearner diary. Guys. The Woody Show

(01:37:31):
more fun than Gone Rhea. Imean, I've had Goney a few times
and I haven't had Gone show.All right, Dot to wrap up,
get out of here, Okay,Thursday check. It is the Woody Show,
ladies and gentlemen, Tomorrow is Friday. On Friday on the Woody show'

(01:37:55):
gonna give you a chance to winsome stuff with the d U i Q.
That'll be tomorrow's dumbass test and anythingwe could do to get through that
morning into the weekend that happens tomorrowFriday here on the Woody Show. All
right, Braby men A Sea Bass, Sammy, anything you'd like to add
great gory parting words of wisdom please, Well, speaking about starting your morning,
start your morning with a long run, and that way your day cannot

(01:38:17):
get any worse. See, thatwas part of my thinking going back to
do I wake up before work likewith our hours that's early? Yeah,
that's crazy. I decided no goodcharge you like once a week like Ray
with the Mandalorian thing. Yeah,that's fine, that's every day. Not
exactly right. All right, Thankyou very much, Greg Gory, Thank

(01:38:41):
you so much for give it theWoodies show some of your valuable time this
morning. You know we love it, appreciate you for that. The rest
of you guys could suck it.Catch back here on Friday. Have a
great day. S MD double M. I quit this bitch.