The Woody Show July 3rd 2024 Podcast

The Woody Show July 3rd 2024 Podcast

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
It is due to the graphic natureof this program, listener discretion is advised.
The Woody Show. This is theWoody Show. Insensitivity Training. You

(00:28):
are class is now in session.Hey, good morning everybody. It is
midweek, it is Wednesday. Itis July the third, twenty twenty four.

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Yea, we are the Woody Showand as always, we thank you
for being here. Give us someof your valuable time this morning. I'm
whatdy, that's a great gore menace? What there's sea bass Sammy. Many
ways to be a part of theshow. You can call in eight seven
seven forty four Wooding, which afterten am, as you know, becomes
the after hours voicemail. You canalways text us check in with us over
to two two nine eight seven.You can find us and follow us on

(01:15):
all the social media platforms. Lookfor us at the Woody Show, and
of course the good old fashioned email, which is email at the Woodyshow dot
com. Coming up for you onthe show today, a little lost in
translation, We're gonna play one ofour games. Is it a Chinese restaurant
or an adult store? Okay,you know a place where you can get

(01:37):
dildo's and adult movies and stuff likeyeah, yeah, exactly. Some people
go to target a lot. That'sher number one place. The significant Other
quiz again today we had that onewith Greg, and now today it's my
turn to answer questions about my wife. And then we'll get my wife on
the phone and we'll see how wellI know her. The significant Other quiz

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also will check in with the lawoffices of Bodega, Menace and Sebastian.
You're on the Woody Show this morning, and I think this is the most
important conversation that we will have allyear on this show. And there have
been a number of times over theyears this show has served as over the
air birth control. Sure Raby saysit all the time. Mistakes for me.

(02:20):
You're Greg has had moments where he'slike, I get baby fever.
Yeah, every once in a while, right now, like a thousand,
You're like, you know, maybehe and Mario would do the swirl and
then you'll find some lucky lady thatTurkey based it in there, and if
it was a girl, I'd findsomebody to give it to. There you
go. I'm the only person whoworks on this show, and we have

(02:44):
a lot of people that work onthis show. The only one that's got
kids. I'm the only one whocould speak to it, said stakes from
me. I think it shows youthat the type of lifestyle that this industry
leads you to though, this isn'tthe type of industry where it's a good
idea to get married and have kids. But it seems like when I all
the other people that I know,they do the same thing that we do.

(03:04):
The majority of the people on theirshow all have kids. This is
kind of an anomaly. Well yeah, yeah, and I'm actually at a
good place now. You know,it was a lot harder. It's it's
way more difficult in the early theearly years of having kids. It would
be way more fun to be aparent when they're your kids age. Yeah,

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you know, And like parents arealways revealing what people should know before
they have kids, because there's alwaysthese things like where people are like,
oh, well we're gonna get adog first, and then we want to
make sure we have a house,and then I want to make sure other
the maxt number, like there's alwayssomething the same people that make the excuses
for why they're still not married.Oh well before we do that, we
got to make sure we do thisand then we have like are you ever
really, are you ever gonna beready? Because really, if you wait

(03:50):
till you're ready, you're never gonnado a ready to have kids. Well,
I'm thinking about changing jobs, butI'm gonna wait until blah bah blah
blah blah and pay down some deadwe're gonna do this and the other thing,
and then out you'll never do it. Yeah, And no matter how
ready you think you are, ifyou haven't done it before, you're not
ready. And you can figure itout. And I and we were always

(04:10):
so worried about, you know,doing the right thing, and then you
see these idiots and how they doit and their kids are alive and they're
fine, and people are so worriedabout, like, you know, breaking
them. You know they're they're alot harder to break than people think,
but you don't know that until youdo it. But I mean, there's

(04:31):
a list of things, and nowI found this list and I'm gonna share
it with you here in the nextsegment. I wrote this list right before
I was I was going to bea dad, wrote yeah, So I
wrote this list right before my sonwas born, so I didn't have any

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experience firsthand yet. But as Ilook at this list, especially when we're
talking about the early years. Nowmy kids are thirteen and ten, they're
a lot more easy, way moreindependent. It can't be left at home,
well that's we're we're almost there.But they can't for an hour.
Compared to how it was before.We could probably leave them for an hour,

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try it. But if we werejust going to go what if you're
just going to dinner? No,too long? Really? Oh wow?
Too long? Bad parenting? Yeah, it's bad parenting to leave your kids
by themselves when they're not right.O Ye, that's terrible parents. Fourth
grade. When I was in chargeof my brother in second Yeah, that's
some good parenting right there. SoI wrote this list questions to ask yourself

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before having kids. So this waswritten in two thousand and nine, early
two thousand and nine. And asI look at this list, these are
all things that are very very true. I was pretty pretty spot on.
Okay, So if you're thinking aboutit, pay attention to this list.
Ask yourself and be honest with yourself, because there was a service. Is

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eleven percent of parents say that theyregret their choice to have kids. Oh
no, only eleven? Yeah,let me ask you. Let me ask
the listeners the same question. Letme ask you now, if would you
do it all over again? Ifyou could, so you got kids,
whatever stage you're in, yes,Now. The people that have adult kids

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typically they're like, oh, it'sgreat, we're friends and we hang out,
we drink together and what. Okay, y'all stay out of it.
I'm talking about when you like,the people who have kids eighteen, are
under eighteen, they're still You're stilltheir guardian. That's who I'm asking.
I think it's easy when they're adults. Before they give that answer, they

(06:49):
have to think about what their lifewould be like without kids. Sure,
how much money you'd have more timefor you? All right? So you
know, if you have a kidthey're under the age of eighteen, they're
still minor, you're still their gardenguardian. Would you do it all over?
If you could just text yes orno over to two two nine eight

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seven. Then when come back,I'll share with you this list that I
wrote again in two thousand and nine, right before my son was born.
All right, and a lot ofthese things are absolutely true. I think
I really nailed it. So interesting. If you're on the fence, you
might not be or you know,you might be like, oh yeah,
totally fine, and then in thatcase, go for it if it's something
you really want to do. Andthere's some people that's their whole talk about
their whole identity. Yep, right, we're talking about that, Like,

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what's something that people, you know, they base their whole identity. They
based their whole life, their wholeidentity on whatever, you know, sports
or their job or different things.So we'll have this list for you right
after the break here on the WhatIs Show hangs out what you show?
Next? Hey, it's man,it's check out the Lazy Dog Restaurants made
to order lunch specials three dollars offroad trip bles and other delicious meals starting

(07:56):
at only eight dollars and seventy fivecents, available every day until four Yeah,
order for pickup or delivery, freedelivery on orders over twenty five dollars.
Lazy Dog Retstaurants dot com show.We're beginning another new hour of insensitivity
training for a politically corrected world.Body. That's ravy. There's Greg Dory,

(08:18):
John Menis is here, what isup? There's mass right here,
We've got Sammy and then in theWoodie Show production department. There's a board
over there, hid boort, Caroline'shere. He can't see even if he's
with That room is so dark,so dark. That's so you know how
they have on those movies or TVshows. There's like an interrogation room with

(08:43):
the police station and it just lookslike a mirror or whatever. Like all
I can see is kind of thereflection of the room. I can't really
see much in there, but it'sso dark in their design, and not
to mention, board is all dressedin black. Yeah, so I'm assuming
he's having back when I said,hey, board, how are you protection
program? Yeah? And then wegot the phones open at eight seven seven

(09:07):
forty four Wooding. That's eight sevenseven forty four Wooding. You can hit
some of the text over to twotwo nine eighty seven. Find us on
social media at the Woody Show onInstagram and Twitter, or on Facebook,
Facebook, dot com slash the WoodiesShow. Come on, I free this
hour. We have a little gamewe're gonna play. We've done this once
before, went over really well.You guys seem to really like it.

(09:28):
So it's back Chinese restaurant or adultstore. Okay, hard to tell between
the two and yeah, there wasa lost in translation thing that I saw.
So this couple they bought this scooterat a ninety nine cent store and
it came with a user manual thathad a bunch of warnings listed that were

(09:48):
the best way to say, justlost in translation. You ever get that
because it's a you know, it'smanufactured some god knows where else, right,
And so they're trying to translate theirinstructions or whatever into English, and
a lot of times it doesn't reallymatch up word for word, and they
don't know because whoever's doing this doesn'tspeak English, and clearly nobody who does

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or understands both looked it over.So you get stuff like don't close fire
on the instruction warnings for this scooterfrom the ninety nine cent store. Like
there was this one Chinese restaurant thatI went to and like on the chopsticks
on the package, it's like thelittle paper sleeve for the chopsticks. Please
enjoy our nice Chinese food this restaurant. Okay, So like clearly lost in

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translation. One of the other warningson here must company with adults when baby
is riding. The protecting people shouldcompany to ensure the safety when riding,
please keep the speed under the walkspeed. Please ride on the planeless ground

(10:54):
on the plane planeless ground. Pleasedon't ride on the forbid in place and
ride in rain day or on theslide road. The forbidden place sounds like
something from the New Lord of theRings kind of does. Don't ride on
your back door exactly. Well,here we go. Here's something else you
can put on the lonely person shoppinglist. A man sized emotional support teddy

(11:18):
bear that's now a thing. Aman size is five feet seven inches tall,
sold as an emotional support pillow.That quote significantly reduces the feeling of
loneliness. Each bear is shaped likea human with five fingers on each hand.
But it's got a it's got ateddy bear head. No, my
god, this very much gives offJeffrey Dahmer vibes. Like if you watch

(11:46):
any that Jeffrey Dahmer stuff. Heyou know, he had that mannequin that
he stole and he cuddled with untilhis grandma found it. Because here's a
picture of a woman with a dressedup one and so wrong the things built
like the rock Oh yeah, reallyis teddy bear head? Yeah? What
loser would buy that some low moneywho's really struggling. Yeah, I'm sure

(12:09):
he's very reasonable. Right, well, your website called puffy bear dot com.
I'm glad you asked their sea bass. They're selling them for one hundred
and sixty dollars plus shipping. Wow. Yeah, if you knew somebody that
had that, you would have tohave a word with them, right right,
a bottle on the from their homesite. It's a chick who oh
oh yeah, like, oh yeah, person. She looks like the girl
from the new Jagass movie Rachel whatever, and she's just like, sit there,

(12:31):
hold up this study. Look abear. There is not a hot
chick on earth who has bought oneof these things to use it for its
legitimate purpose. No, I meandoesn't have a penis no built in anyway.
No. The website says that hearrives naked with no clothes, but
you can dress them up however youwant. Oh my gosh, you have
to dress him too. Yeah,he fits into large and extra large men's

(12:52):
clothing. Again, this is thisis how it shows up at your house,
right just yeah, I mean saysyou don't have to buy. It's
like not like build a berry tobuy a special that you can any close
from anywhere. Yeah, right strapseparately, I say his color is milky
brown. Every every model is this? Howk girl who would never have this
in a thousand years? Oh that'sso pathetic. Soft light, comfortable every

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person. How many pillows you sleepwith? Greg? One? One pillow?
Yeah? We under my head onereally now when I make the bed,
there's like nineties I do, butno worry hurt more than no,
no, no, there's not.First of all, my stomach side sleeper.
Okay, so one pillow under myhead and then I'll have another one

(13:37):
on each side because I usually kindof usually kind of help prop myself up,
so I'm that full on my stomach, so I kind of have one
of the side. But that's justa pillow. Some people like to have
a pillow between their legs, likebetween their knees. Yeah, something like
that. But that's nice, Likeeven like I thought, oh, when
my wife was done with the pregnancypillow she had that, you know,

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that's like a big long I shouldget one of those, yeah, like
maternity pillow, you know, likea body pillow, a body pillows,
And I thought, like that'd becool, man, that things sucked.
It was too big. Yeah,they're really not even like king sized pillows.
Those are too long. Yeah.I just use it in the weather
pillow as like a body pillow.Yeah. I'm telling the best pillows that
I found, And I've tried allkinds really super cheap, you know,

(14:24):
seven dollars ones to really expensive onesto try to find good ones that wouldn't
get me like a headache by sleepingon them. The best pillows I found
there are Simmons Beauty Rest black pillows. They sell in a two pack at
Costco. Really real? Yeah?Really? Is it the foamy ones or
no? They're like it's like awhat do they call it, synthetic down?

(14:48):
Yeah? Yeah, And you knowwhat for me, they're the perfect
firmness. They're not too squishy,they're not too firm, and they they
lasted the decent amount of time,but they'll get completely is formed and all.
Like I like the the gel ones. Yeah, yeah, I tried
those. Do you know what Ilike? Is uh not a sponsor?

(15:09):
Pillows dot Com could be a sponsor. You can get pillows from like all
the different hotels, Like, oh, I like this hotel pillow. You
can order it? Have I seenthe the pillow that's a square. Yes,
the cube, the cube. Yeah, I've been thinking about the cube.
I know, I wonder if it'sany good. Oh, Greg would

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think it was so unsightly it's acube. Yeah, it's like it's a
cube really Yeah, because you haveto get a specialty case for it and
everything. Definitely. Yeah, butthat would be how would you make the
bed? You would it you haveput it somewhere sitting on the top of
your bed. Well, you getit for its natural purpose, which is

(15:52):
to sleep on, then you canhide it somewhere. Greg. If company
is coming over, they wouldn't seeyour cube. Oh no, they would
not. They say it's for sidesleepers specifically. Yeah, and I am
a side sleeper. I have beencontemplating getting the cube just to try it
out. I'll check it out.Yeah, I didn't know if anybody had
tried it yet. No, No, I've never even if anybody listenings,

(16:12):
try to let me know commercials.Yeah, but it does make Instagram feed.
It doesn't make sense because if withthe regular pillow, your your neck
is kind of it is, butthe cube, it's perfectly straight. Now
if you think that's ugly for yourbag. Greg pillow cube also has a
cross sleeper, so they have basicallyone side's the cube for the side sleeper.

(16:33):
The other side has a dent init for your back sleeper so you
don't crank your neck. And soit's basically like a lego blocket that looks
like a sex weg No, itlooks like it looks like it looks like
one of those three M hooks.Yeah, that's a good description. Yeah,
like if you were like to hanga wreath on your front door.
Yeah, like the bottom of thenotcho is where you put like uh,

(16:55):
they they do so covers for them. Great. All right, somebody said
the cube is awesome, really tame. It was weird because I'm a back
and sider, so I always haveto adjust the pillow. Yeah all right,
well let us know on those cubepillows curious, I know, because
it does not look I know itdoesn't, but it does make sense.

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Actually, we have a dumb asscontest coming up for you after the break
Chinese restaurant or adult store. Sowe're gonna play that next on the Woody
Show. Hang, I now knowa small number of incorrect facts. They've
out an extremely large number of thingsthe largest. All right, he wants

(17:37):
to play a little game. Let'sall right, we got a game called
Chinese restaurant or adult store. Okay, we've played this once before, and
I seem to remember everybody doing reallywell except for me. Okay, oh
yeah, I remember this being verydifficult. It is, and that we

(17:57):
all sucked. I think that wasreally good. I think that was as
well. That is true, right, accept mostly, get my list here?
Everything? All right, here wego, I got a I got
a list, ready to go.All right, let the job in.
Here we go. Chinese restaurant oradult store? All right, there we

(18:25):
go. I gotta get gotta setthe tone, all right, all right?
Is it a Chinese restaurant or anadult store? Best kept secret?
Best kept secret? Best kept secret? Is that a Chinese restaurant or an
adult store? Difficult? Already?I'm gonna say adults, adult store secret.

(18:48):
Hmmm, I'm gonna say restaurant,Chinese restaurant, Chinese restaurant. I
think you're trying to throw this off, So I'm gonna say restaurant, restaurant,
Sammy, adult store? Adult store? Best kept secret is an adult
store? Damn? That was tooeasy. No, don't overtake it,
man, I know it could.It's fifty to fifty. Yeah, but

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that was definitely adult trickery was happening. Alright, me too. Uh.
Chinese restaurant or adult store, happytales, Happy tales, Happy tales.
Happy? A Chinese restaurant or anadult store restaurant. I'm gonna go restaurant.

(19:34):
I'm gonna say store, restaurant thatis an adult store. Yeah,
happy tales. I don't want totell you how they hold in those tales,
all right. Chinese restaurant or adultstore. I don't know if I
can say that one. Oh,all right, on to the next fat

(19:59):
fa te k okay, Oh no, you probably can't. Rest Is that
a Chinese restaurant or an adult store? That's a restaurant, rest restaurant,
that is a Chinese restaurant. Youcan see where I was sure he just

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walked in. This is very tough, Okay. Next up, Chinese restaurant
or adult store. My beloveds garden, My beloveds garden. That a restaurant
or an adult store, adult store? All right, ravy restaurant, restaurant,

(20:51):
menis store, all right, adultstore, adult store. I'm sure
that's a delicious restaurant has to be. That is old store. Yeah,
see we're at them. I wantto go. I want to go visit
them. Next up, Chinese restaurantor adult store. The name is top

(21:12):
Off, top off off, topoff t O p O F F top
off restaurant, restaurant door, adultstore. See bess, sorry'm looking at

(21:37):
they've got strap on all right?Yeah, ed you beloved and thrusting toys.
All right, he's not gonna bean answer, right, so that
I didn't listen. That's a topoff store. Who cares? That's an
adult store? All right? Wellit's the game. Who cares? I
meet the game. That's what thegame is focused on. He's got they

(21:57):
got pegging right, tagging supplies.Where's it? Where's it located? It's
online, it's online, all right. Chinese restaurant or adult store. Next
up, fuk you hi u erestaurant, restaurant. I think I've been
there. That is a restaurant,all right, h Next up, Tap

(22:26):
the Asian, Tap the Asian?Is that a Chinese restaurant or an adult
store? Adult adult store, restaurant, adult store? That is a restaurant.

(22:47):
That's probably a guy named Tap,right, yeah, tap is like,
yeah, yeah, well I knewa guy named Tam, guy named
there's a new guy named Tam.Maybe there's okay, you don't know,
you don't know, absolutely snows,yeah, thank you. Oh my god,
a dress just like that, soit's purple on its pants. Oh

(23:07):
well yeah. Also kinda kind ofchewed on that one. It's tap the
Asian product. Tap the Asian Tapstands for the Asian product. Okay,
yeah, let's see it's like anice place. What about the hidden vault?
The hidden vault? The hidden vault? Is that a Chinese restaurant or
an adult store? A store?Everybody's on that's a that's an adult store.

(23:36):
Let's go there, let's go,let's go, let's go on a
field trip to the adult store.It's in as in a strip mall next
to the House of Vinyl and DAHair connect all. This next one is
come den, yeah, k U, M D E MS what I need

(24:00):
in my bedroom? You know whatI'm saying? Hell yeah, bro,
restaurant? Is that a Chinese restaurantor an adult storet adult store? That
is a restaurant? Yes, Ibelieve it's in Australia. Also, how's
there pot. I don't think theyhave pie this Chinese restaurant. All right,

(24:22):
here, I'll give you one more. So do Fun? So do
Fun restaurant? Restaurant, restaurant store? I said restaurant here. That was
the first one to say stra restaurant. So do Fun is an Asian restaurant,
easy peasy menace. You might havebeen there because it's in New York.

(24:45):
Yeah, oh yeah, then Ihaven't been there. Yeah, I
went to another place called Enjoyable Place. So it's my friend tarm was there
when you're in Manhattan? The onlyChinese restaurant? Did you go to?
His Panda Express? We all knowthat. Do they have an elevator?
Well, that's how you play aChinese restaurant or adult store. You gave

(25:07):
us ten I was fifty to fifty. Oh no, we're gonna take a
quick break. We got some moreWoodies show for you next. Hang,
Okay, this guy seems cool,probably won't murder me. Yeah, this
is the Woodie Show. I gota tremendous amount of satisfaction out of the
story when I read it. Thiswoman shared a story about how she was

(25:33):
hired for a brand new department ather company, which the other departments didn't
like because if this department worked asplanned, it was going to take some
of the business away from them.But they're like restructuring a bunch of different
things, you know. Okay,So the leaders of those other departments conspired
against her and did everything in theirpower not to give her an office.

(25:56):
And I've seen something similar play outbefore where people being petty about the offices,
I mean, like a physical officespace for someone to work. And
so there was one guy in particulararound here that was really big on that.
I think you know who I'm talkingabout, Pugashell guy. Yeah,
yeah, So we always called him. He was big on that kind of

(26:17):
thing. Well, I think youcan just work here in this cubicle.
So anyway, she didn't have anormal place to work, and instead of
bitching about it, she just didher job wherever she could find a spot.
Like some days it was in themail room, other days it was
in the break room, and she'sjust sitting there doing her workt her mouth

(26:37):
shut, did her work, andher plan was that the right people would
eventually notice, and they did.One day, the President came through the
mail room asked why, hey,why are you working in here. Aren't
you in an office? And shewas clearly annoyed. She told the president
that she didn't have an office becauseshe was told there weren't any available,
according to whom mister so and so. Yeah, well, you've been working

(27:00):
here for what three months? Icould have found you a space by now.
So now the boss. She's pissed. She asked a few more questions
than made her way off to misterso and so's office. The president then
called the woman too the conference room, where mister so and so and the
other managers who had been messing withher were all sitting at the conference room

(27:21):
table like kids who were called tothe principal's office. There were a pile
of keys on the table to theoffices of each person in that room.
But the president then handed her akey to the conference room where they were
sitting and said, this is youroffice. Now make it your own.
Your office is the largest office oncampus. Enjoy, and then she walked
out. She said it was thebest drop the mic she'd ever seen in

(27:44):
her life, and all the otherpeople at the table became really good colleagues
except for mister so and so.Oh Wow, that was it, and
the conference room must be huge.Yeah. Well, remember we got the
conference room at that one radio stationwhere we first worked by your Eggs.
There used to be a conference roomand they made that into our office and
it was gigantic. Was okay,Yeah, I forgot about that. That
converted because it was right between theprogram director's office and the studio. That

(28:06):
was huge. It was gigantic.Yeah. We had our own corner,
corner of the corner, right likewhen they said go to your corners,
we could all go to our corner. Yeah. Now we're in there so
tight and Raby don't even sit inthere. Well, that's more room for
you to pile papers on there there, it's most I stick to my own

(28:27):
section. Have an corner you wantedto take over that you could put them
on medicine, Sea Bass and Iare the only ones that are in that
office. I just thought I thoughtthat was I thought that was awesome in
there too much? Good Lord,not when you guys are there with me.
The bus ass but is still lingersLinger. So there was one day
last week where it was during abreak I had to run in there to

(28:52):
uh go grab something out of theoffice. I swear to God, I
walked right into someone's call and yeah, dude, and he wasn't even in
there. It reads so bad likefresh, I know, fresh horrific.
It sounds like it is we needto buy air air circulation. Yeah yeah,
but it's the smells that keeps methere. But like going back to

(29:15):
the work thing, when when peopleare are jerks to your work, like
those middle manager types, and thenit gets the attention of the upper level
management. Man, is that satisfying? It happened, Uh, it happened
to us, well to me specifically, I got called into this meeting and
there was that middle manager pucashell guysitting there and he started having this conversation
and I'm like, man, Ithought you were out of my life,

(29:37):
Like why are you here? AndI pointed right at his face. I
think my my finger was like soI said why is And so there was
another person across the desk. I'mlike, why is he here? Like
well blah, I'm like, hegoes, aMule ball. I'm like,
if you're my boss, you canfire me right now. He goes,
well, I am your boss.You're not my boss. If you wanted
to fire me, you'd have togo to like seven people above you.

(29:57):
Yeah, and so like, well, I bought it. Okay, okay.
Anyway, the guy who's like theboss of the cluster of radio stations
that we're at, like the marketpresident, he walked by. He saw
something tense was going on, andhe knows that I don't like this dude,
and he opened his uh, openedthe door of the office. He

(30:18):
goes, what's going on here?I'm like, I don't know. What
did I say a couple of things, and this guy jumped Pucas Shell jumps
in and says, well. Hesays, I'm not his boss, and
he goes, well, you're not. I said I told him he's not
my boss because he can't fire him. He goes, well, that's true.
He goes, you can't fire him. He goes, I can't fire
him. I'd have to get permissionfrom somebody to fire him. Like so
neither one of you were my boss. Why are we having this conversation?

(30:40):
Man? That was so satisfying.And then the people at like the corporate
offices, they took this guy completelyout of our universe. So we never
had to deal with this guy everagain. It was it was great.
He was never then up in ourbusiness about stuff. But he thought he
helped us with so many things.Oh, he's always in the way,
he causing problems. Yeah. Sowhen the guy at the corporate level,

(31:03):
when he told me, you knowwhat, I'm just gonna move him completely
out of your like you you don'thave to deal with him anymore, I'm
like yeah. So, like I'dwalked by his office like a day or
two later, and I just lookedat him my smile, I'm like,
hey, man, because I knew. I knew he had that conversation.
He wasn't happy about it. Hewas a freak. He very much had

(31:25):
that Mike the Show Killer sort ofthing, where like his he thought his
job was to insert himself in everythingand make life harder for everyone. Yeah,
that's not your job. Yeah.And the thing is, just like
Mike the Show Killer, when hegot outside of work, he was really
cool, nice guy. You canhang out with him, have beers or
whatever, and he was cool.But man, here at work, man,

(31:45):
that guy sucked. But man wasthat satisfying. The person across the
desk when I pointed in his facefreaked out. You could just see like
the nerves like, oh my god, because that was her boss. Yeah,
so serious, So whose side doesshe take? You know, she
knew I was right, but atthe same time, you always really I

(32:07):
made it really awkward. Oh allright, we got to take a break.
More wood he shows the next hangon the fun fact every time we
take a break, Woody powers downlike an animatronic and there the wood show
wood We got in a minute.This freaks is the weirdoss door, the

(32:27):
Woody shot. We have made thesignificant others week here on the show.
So we started with a menace,and then it was Greg's turn, right,
and then today it's my turn.And so this new survey we found
it is just asking people to givetheir significant other letter grades and a bunch

(32:47):
of different aspects of their relationship.And so the way we've been doing this
is we'll go through the ten thingsand uh, you know, in this
case, I will grade myself andthen we're gonna get my wife on the
line, and then my wife willhave to grade me in these different areas,
and then we'll compare and contrast,you know, how I feel I
do in these different areas, andthen what she thinks. Okay, all

(33:09):
right, all right, So ifanything, it's unfair to the person here
on the show, not to theto the partner or the significant other.
At least that's the way it's designed. They've all been pretty compatible because they
didn't they didn't ask to be apart of this, you know, end
up here. I have no ideaon the answers. Yeah, but I
don't know you and your wife howit's going to be. Okay, Well,

(33:34):
who's going to ask the questions?I got them, all right.
You gotta be weird for me toask the questions of myself, kind of
weird. Making an effort with yourpartner's family and parents, I would say
a B plus B plus. Yeah, Yeah, I agree. Yeah,
I'm not going to say an A, but I'll give myself a B plus.

(33:55):
With her mom and dad A plusA plus. Yeah. You host
them a lot, you visit thema lot. Yeah, and I like
them. I genuinely like them.They're they're really nice people. I lucked
out in that department. Yeah.Yeah, but I would say with like
family and friends B plus. Ifyou are at their house, that might
be a little generous, especially whenyou factor in like the friends and stuff.

(34:15):
Yeah, let's go with B B. If you're at their house and
Let's say your father in law hasto run an errand do you ever go
with him and it's just the oneon one time with him? Uh No,
he just usually takes off without tellinganybody. Okay, he's in the
back drinking beer. Yeah, romanceoverall romance. Uh d. I'm with

(34:37):
menace on this one. My wifeand I and we both feel the same
way on this. We think thewhole romance thing is real cheesy. We
don't do Valentine's Day. We reallydon't do the anniversary thing. My wife
said that she would probably barf ifeither one of us ever used the term
make love, make love, youknow what I mean, so ironically.
Yeah, it's not that I don'tIt's not that I don't do nice things

(34:59):
or thought things for her, butit's not like rose petals leading to the
bed and you know, the oversizedteddy bear and you know that kind of
stuff. Not not into that.I'm not writing her poetryscape in the shape
of a Heart. No being spontaneousf yeah, you know, because everything

(35:21):
would just you know, and that'smore a function of kids. Like we
used to be way more spontaneous ina lot of different ways before the kids.
But you know, the kids.That enters a whole new, a
whole new level of messing up yourschedule. You know, you want to
do something, but you can't.Why kids, activity, school stuff all

(35:42):
that. So yeah, I wouldsay, and the same would go for
her. I mean she's not wecan't be spontaneous anymore listening. Uh,
I'll say, be minus because I'myou know, I've always got a lot
of things that I'm thinking about,you know, like I can never really

(36:02):
turn my mind off. My wife'sgonna say f by the way, and
no, but that's not fair becauseI am listening. She thinks just because
I'm not like stopping everything and staringright at her, that I'm not listening
about what we want to have fordinner next week, or well, we're
working on this trip four months fromnow. Who do you think we should

(36:24):
get to watch the kids? That'sfour months? Like that kind of stuff.
I'm listening, but it doesn't requiremy immediate full attention, you see
what I'm saying. But like whenit comes to something you know that she's
talking about, or if I couldtell when it's important, you know,
like if something like bothering her orwhatever, and then she's obviously got my
full attention. I will stop everything. But if it's just like you know,

(36:45):
day to day operations of the householdtype stuff, yeah, I'm listening,
but I'm also you know, inthe middle, because half the time
she'd come up to me when I'min the middle of something. Yeah,
humor, humor. Uh, I'llsay B plus. I think it's a
plus, but it's not appreciated theway that I would like it to be,

(37:08):
like porn texts and stuff, becausethat's funny to me. Yeah,
I know, like when you know, she's sitting there and she's zoned out
on her phone or whatever, I'llfind some gnarly like porn image online and
I'll just send it to her andshe goes, would you stop it?
Yeah? Or you know, I'llmake up I'll make up stupid words.
The songs that are on the radiowhen we're in the car. It's usually

(37:30):
about her boobs or you know,sex stuff or just just inappropriate stuff in
general. And you know, sometimesit makes her laugh, but other times
it's not appreciated the way it shouldbe. Then you pull over and make
love right, So I'll say I'llsay B plus. I'm not sure what
she'll say, oh, totally sexlife. Uh uh, you mean like

(37:57):
doing it, doing it, Iwould say, ce and the Again,
a lot of function of that istwo things. Number one, our schedule
and having a lot of times I'mgoing to bed before the kids are even
going to bed, and so Imean that makes it difficult. And then
also just the kids in general,you know, so that makes it.

(38:22):
That makes it difficult now like vacationsor whatever that when it's when it's going
down, it's stud time, studtime. Yeah. But overall, I'll
say, I'll say, see,all right, overall for play skill B
plus really plus I use my mouthfor a living guys. Patience b B

(38:47):
isn't boy Wow? All right,Yeah, I'm the patient one with the
kids, believe it or not.I agree he is more patient with the
kids then, and I am patientat home now. I don't like procrastinating,
like, all right, let's go, let's do it, you know,
like we've already like I don't needto go back and forth in this

(39:07):
indecisiveness and whatever. Let's make adecision. My wife is the queen of
indecisiveness. Let's just do it.You know, a lot of times here
at work, it's a little bitdifferent because I'll have to clear something with
the schedule at home, which shekeeps, and so you know, yeah,
there's a there's a patience thing,like you know, maybe I'm not
I don't know, it's interested inher response to that, Yeah, taste

(39:28):
of movies and TV. Oh,she's gonna say, D I think I
have a great taste, but wehave very different tastes, like I like,
you know, Sons of Anarchy,Boardwalk Empire, shows like that,
sports, uh yeah, and she'llwatch some of the sports stuff, but
she doesn't like any violence. Likethe most violent thing that she would ever
watch would be Die Hard. Yeah, really like cartoon there's violence. So

(39:50):
like I couldn't get her into BreakingBad, like I want her to watch
Breaking Bad forget you know now myends I'm watching that. I gotta watch
that stuff on my own. Soyeah, so for yourself, my grade
for myself is a yeah. Imean it's your own taste. Yeah,
I don't know how anything else gradethat time, she's gonna say D.
All right, all right, shesays, I have awful taste in uh,
in TV, and then awful tastein music. Oh all right,

(40:14):
she calls it fruity alternatives. Thesame person that considers Britney Spears to be
like Elvis Presce Show Go figure.All right, we got them all.
And then the bonus manscaping question,mascaping, I'll give that a B plus
B plus, all right. I'mnot as meticulous as Greg would be.
I think Greg gets his regular haircutlike whatever, a couple of weeks,

(40:37):
week and a half, two weeks. Yeah, does it grow so damn
fast? Does look at it?Yeah? I have no idea, which's
good answer. Overall, your gradesare relatively generous. That's a pretty good
grade. One average you think yougot, well, you have a T
and a C and then high b'sand a's. Yeah, pretty good.
But yeah, I mean hers willbe again lower because I'm very interested to

(40:58):
hear her. Yeah, because likehumor, like I said, not really
appreciated. So that might be lowerthan my TV and movie thing. That'll
be lower. Romance overall, that'sgonna be low because we're not you know,
that's that kind of stuff. Now, rave you've known him the longest,
you think he missed the mark onanything. I think the biggest difference
will probably be in patience. Butwe're not at home with him. But

(41:22):
you see me at home, Ido, and and I agreed with you
that you're very patient with the kids. But overall, umbrella, you know,
umbrella patience, I would give youlike a c. Yeah. Okay,
all right, Well we'll get mywife on the horn. Cool.
Well, see what she has tosay. That's coming up next, part
two of the Significant Other Quiz foryou here this morning on the Woody Show.

(41:43):
Hang you know about wid it's significantothers. A week here on the
Woodie Show, I already gave mygrades for the quiz new survey asking people
to give their significant other letter gradesand a bunch of different aspects of their

(42:06):
relationship. And we start with theperson on here on the wood Show grading
themselves, and then we call theirpartner or spouse and get them on the
phone to get their grade and seeand compare and contrast how it's going to
go. Now we have some peoplein the text asking if we're gonna get
my wife's trainer's grade. Idea.But please welcome the show. It's my

(42:30):
wife, it's a Jay, goodmorning. Yeah, Hi any okay?
Hi, So Joe, all right, so again I want you to answer
these questions honestly, we're not worriedabout feelings here. We have a couple
of kids, so we're stuck witheach other. But dono e bellish either.
This is not for necessarily entertainment purposes. It's just to get the real
answers. She was trying to getsome stuff out of me the other night

(42:52):
about yeah, what these questions wereabout. I'm like, I'm not telling
you anything. Yeah, want toyou know? Few pointers are him?
Like, where are we heading withthis? Right? That's fine, so
Raby will be asking the questions herewe go. All right, great Woody
on making an effort with your familyand friends and parents. So he's great

(43:19):
with my mom and dad. He'salways my parents. I've give him an
a on that. He's pricky withother members of my family, some of
my friends, not all of them. You know, I wanted to to
kind. So I guess overall isthat you're looking for an overall grade?
I would say B plus. Okay, you gave himself a bed the same

(43:39):
thing. I pretty much had thesame right off. Yeah, I can't
name names. Well, her friendAaron sucks. That's all right, that's
good. You're not missing anythings.She sucks all right, take on romance

(44:00):
overall romance, I would say,see, yeah, I mean, but
that's okay, Like you know,any of these you know, like that
type of things not really my thing. I'm sure you guys know, like
you probably talked about it. Wedon't celebrate that day. We don't really

(44:22):
you know, I know that motionstuff. You know, it's just not
our not our jam. So yeah, you said the same thing himself.
Yeah, honey, no you're notbecause we know that we don't. We
just really as if we really don'tdo it. That's that's it. It's

(44:43):
like you know, everyone I didsay, every once in a while,
do something you know, no,no, no, like always give you
cars like ten year anniversary and outof your way to make some really I
made cars various and sweet cards thatare it was an anniversary card about sixty
nine, Greg, I don't knowis ten years the card anniversary? Yeah?

(45:07):
Paper? What years? Paper?I think paper is a random number.
Like, but we agree we don'tdo really anniversary either. So but
Jen, do you have a sentimentalbox where you keep all the cards and
stuff like that? Yeah? Yeah, every single card he's giving me from
day one. I do. It'scalled the garbage. What about anything?

(45:30):
What about being spontaneous? Well,again, it's hard with kids. But
if it's something that just is thetwo of us, I would say,
I mean pretty good. But wedon't and there's not a lot of opportunity
to like, hey, let's goto Vegas this weekend, you know,
right. So he said that hefigured kids into the mix and gave it
an s. Yeah, because youcan't do it. Let's say, see,

(45:55):
I guess yeah, it's just impossiblewhen you have kids, you know,
you always have hud. But knowinghim, I think that if he
had an opportunity, it would beI would give it a bee. Well,
yeah, I mean it was veryI used to be a lot of
fun. Yeah, he was crazyfun. It is a significant other week
here on the Woody Show, andwe have my wife Jen on the phone.

(46:19):
She's giving us her grades on thesedifferent areas of our relationship. What
about listening? Mmmm, that dependsis they're an electronic involved is the iPhone?
And of course yeah put it down. Okay, overall minus and I
feel like maybe I'm being nice theterritory. He gave himself a B minus.

(46:45):
Oh please, I said, Isaid that I listened when it's important.
When it's important, I listen.But if you're trying to talk to
me about plans that are two monthsaway, I might know. That's what
bees like you. It's not fairto for you to decide what's important.

(47:07):
If this is something I'm trying totalk to you about, it's important to
me. Girl. That one.What about humor? Oh okay, really
okay. Yeah, he's very funny, like my my favorite, saying that
he does, although sometimes I heloves to make up songs for like heout,

(47:34):
yeah, more specifically songs that Iprobably love, and he'll try and
like ruin for me by putting insome bold lyrics lyric that you should out
so it's you know, okay,it makes me love. He gave himself

(47:54):
a B plus, saying that notall of his efforts are appreciated. Well
they, I mean the way theyshould be, Yeah, the way they
should be highly regarded. H No, No, I mean that's definitely true.
There's sometimes where it's like, allright, shut your mouth. But
for the most part, he's afunny guy. Oh a plush all right.

(48:16):
Like when we first note, Ithought he was probably gay because very
like a stereotypical you know, likeeverything is neat and orderly and clean,
and he had a cleaning lady andhe had a cat. So I was
like, oh my god, thisguy is gay my wife's cat. Yeah,
we diss okay, and then Ijust got I'll take ninety backay.

(48:38):
But no, he's definitely a pluson that one for sure. Yeah,
that's when his apartment looked like amuseum. I didn't like to go in
then because yeah, you'll just standin the corner. Yeah, anything was
perfect, I know, right,kind of like a psycho. Great.
Yeah, grade your sex life?Uh, this is show kids threw up

(49:01):
everything. People, so just sayno. But I would say be minus.
When we are able to get iton. It's great. We have
fun, we enjoy it, weknow what the anyone likes, and we
do all the very things. Butyou know that the kids kind of screwed
up. So I would take meminus too. Obviously. Going to thirty,

(49:24):
you know, it's not very hotdinner, and I can't exactly run
away for a quickie speaking what doeshe like? What do you do?
You don't want to know. It'sdisturbing diapers, it's not it's actually electric

(49:51):
shock. Even let me not letme. But he's not given them the
like lingerie. Yeah yeah, whymenace it's eighties. Yeah, not doing
anything. It's like, let's justnot freaky. Just like we'll watch like
together stuff like that. Yeah.Yeah, like I'll make her talk like

(50:14):
a dirty whore or something. Youknow, that's cool. What about overall
four play skill like a c ohwow, he's confident on that one.
He gave himself a B plus pluson that. All right, well I
minus plus. I mean, youdon't have to change your grade. Really

(50:40):
yeah, I don't really care aboutthat stuff either. Well okay, I
said, I said B plus,using the explanation that I make a living
with my mouth. Yes, okay, yes, I see where you're going.
Yeah, sokay. Patience. He'sway more patient with the kids than

(51:04):
I want. I for sure wouldhave already stold them like, so he's
very patient with the kids. Ithink overall, I give him be minus.
Okay. I know, I knowyou guys probably experience a different person,
ye a little bit, but that'sI mean, that's expected because you

(51:28):
guys are under different circumstances obviously,and you know, have pressure and all
that. Like, and he andI are together we're just okay, trying
to figure out, you know,dinner or the weekend plans or whatever.
So I would give him a bee, for sure. But I have seen
him that over the silliest stuff,which makes me laugh and then obviously get

(51:52):
my kids out of the room tobe freaking out because he has to hang
something on the wall. And youknow, I hate that. Hanging pictures
sucks. I hate it that bad. Yes, it is screw taste that
no one's talking about. It iseasy or difficult, it's just annoying.
You got to have the right thingand then you got to make sure it's

(52:13):
perfect. You it's perfect. Yeah, that's what you can smart. That's
fun, Yeah, super fun.Great. His taste in movies and TV
e uh d, that's what hesaid you would give him. He gave
himself an A everybody would give himselfand myself an A plus. To be
fair, I watched every minute ofgree and now I'm not just for housewives,

(52:37):
and I watched as girls like hestingto an episode of The Crowns.
You know, so I get it. He's into the Sons of anarchy.
And you know, what was thatone that you like? Honey? Breaking
bad Borderwalk Empire. Yeah, I'mnot watching that stuff. Like I'm good,
I like silly, can't be right. Yeah, she's a real prude

(53:00):
when it comes to anything violent.You don't like violence, Yeah, I
don't like it. The last oneis manscaping, uh minus yea down there?
Control is a crotch everybody plus Nono really? Whoa? No way?

(53:24):
You really do know someone where hetakes care of it and where to
go, and it's you know,as it should be, you know,
he and I like it. Yeah, but then it turns to nineteen seventy
three. No, no, god, that's an embellishment. Whoa that is

(53:51):
beliship, Yeah, we get it. Does he put beads on it?
Great as a hat? Like bothere Captain Jack Sparrow yea hid weapons in
its gross? Yeah there? Jeez, it's trimmed up? Wow enough?

(54:16):
Wow? Does he a special occasion? Yeah? Does he spruce it up
for vacation? You know, I'mlike, we're not doing it tonight,
right, but for vacation, doeshe spruce it up? Yeah? Diet
Yeah, sure, okay, sovacation. But then it gets unruly in
seventies between seventy you know, wow, you very revealing, very revealing.

(54:43):
Jen. Anytime you like, youguys can spot check whenever you'd like.
I'm willing to offer up a spotcheck. You know what to do with
you know, countries with nuclear armsSlectors are here, Yeah, inspecters are
here. Man, it's take alook. Yeah, but a reminder of
the phone for yeah, a determinatedate. All right, podcast? All

(55:04):
right? You guys mashed up onalmost everything. Yeah that yeah, yeah
that one. There you go.That's hilarious, Ran Henderson. I'm stuck

(55:25):
in a position where I can't evendefend myself without dropping trout shows, The
Woody Show, Box Moms, BoxBox Show eight seven. Just keep in

(55:50):
mind over the weekend if you wantto leave us a drunk dial voicemail,
that's the place to do it.Oh yeah, or anything else as you're
listening to the show on the podcast, you got a thought, even you
see something, got something you wantto make sure that we know about.
I can't leave myself notes all thetime now, but just leave us a
message eight seven seven forty four.What is the eight seven seven forty four?
What are gonna give you a call? Here? From the after hours

(56:13):
voicemail? We did that a lotof the antiquing thing my new obsession.
Yeah, Greg's new upsession has becomea cliche gay, he said, totally.
But here's an after hours voicemail.Somebody laughs, Gregory, I think
I might have a martial answer toyour question of who's buying all these antique
sconces. We've remodeled a historical homeat nineteen twenty eight, and they want

(56:39):
to keep the same fixtures, samesconceous. So I believe the people who
are looking for this stuff are restorationistsor remodeling. They're willing to be eight
hundred dollars or more to keep theaesthetic of the nineteen hundreds. Look keep
teaching. Yeah, okay, itmakes sense. But when if you saw

(57:00):
the one store I went into thathad literally thousands subsconses. I don't know
at any given time how many thousandsof people are restoring a nineteen spouse that
needs fourteen hundreds. I mean,you watch it, you watch HGTV.
I bet you they can sell allthose to those those people down in Mississippi,

(57:20):
the old town, oh HOMETOWNE.Well, I think when you're a
couple of little Scots. You mentionedthis before, and I think you're right.
It's like people like mixing the yeahold in the in the model.
True, there's another one, Greg, This is Jen. Greg was talking
about antiques, and I always thoughtantique stores should have like a donation bucket

(57:40):
for people that appreciate it and wantto support their business, but don't want
to buy any of the craft.Right. Yeah, it's mission Yeah kind
of like that. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to buy your twelve
thousand dollars sculpture of a hand.But thanks for being open. Here's gold
the look at it. Thanks foropening a business. Maybe that's where you
just buy a couple of their dumbkeys, those old keys you said,

(58:01):
like Ford keys, Chevy key,yes, five dollars eight or another salt
and pepper shaker. Yeah, thereyou go. Leave your out powers voicemail
eight seven seven forty four. Woodie, don't hit me. Hey, I'm
not gonna hit you on and seehis lists and I'm going to throw them
on the ground. This well,we have another new hour. I've insensitivity

(58:23):
training for a politically correct world foryou. We are the Woodie Show.
Okay, morning everybody, Oh,thank you for giving us some of your
valuable time this morning. My nameis Woody. That's Ravy, Yeah,
Greg Gory is here. We gotMenace, what up? Sea Bass Yeah
is here. We've got Sammy Marino. Hey, there's bored. We got
Caroline and we have Morgan who ishere as well. We are taking your

(58:45):
calls. Eight seven seven forty fourWooding. That's eight seven seven forty four
Wooding. You can hit us upwith the text over to two to nine
eighty seven by popular demand this hour. It's the Law Offices of Bodega,
Menace and Sebastian. We back baby. Yeah. So we have these different
stories of you know, people foundthemselves with some kind of legal trouble in

(59:06):
the news and if you need toget off, they'll get you off and
good. The Law Offices of Bodega, Menace and Sebastian are two legal quote
experts here on the Woodies Show willgive you their take if they were the
defense lawyers for the people in thisparticular case, and then everybody else consider
around to decide if they would buyinto the reasoning and defense that they are

(59:30):
providing powerful swaying arguments. There wasthis story talking about excuse generator. The
story I saw this morning about Iguess this happened in twenty sixteen. These
two twins. They were accused ofcheating on a medical school exam because they
had the exact same answers, andso they sued the school, arguing that

(59:52):
similar scores are common for twins andthey had not signaled answers to each other.
It's like, well, we're twins, we got twin brain. Yeah.
Their their argument was that they weretwins, and the jury agreed,
and they were just awarded one pointfive million dollars. Nice kidding. Okay,

(01:00:12):
well we're twins is the defense forhaving the exact same answers, exact
same answers? Okay, I don'tbuy. I mean, let them retake
the test, thank you. Imean, if they really want to prove
that they didn't do it, Imean, that would be better than here's
one and a half million bucks.Definitely, I mean that makes sense.

(01:00:34):
But here's the thing, is retakethe test. But they weren't allowed to
retake the ten years ago, right, and their medical dreams were derailed by
accusations, yes, and emotional traumaand stuff. It's like dude, twins,
duh yeah, and and pretty hottoo hot twins? Right, So
how could they cheat that well theyhave a future on OnlyFans. They could

(01:00:57):
be like, you know, hootchick doctors quote unquote only fans. Unfortunate
that the patriarchy always goes to onlyfans or but a medicine subashi and are
standing up for women's right, yes, sure, thank you, yeah you
and Gloria Alredy champion of women rightYuh there was mcgreg was talking about how
like, uh, the utility companies, oh, bunch of scammers frauding even

(01:01:22):
if even if you like turned everythingoff the off, like you'll get that
bill and they'll say that that monththat everything was turned off and you were
out of town, that you're somehowused more this month. Somebody had texted
in on that speaking of exact answersor whatever. This guy had gotten his
neighbor's bill by accident, opened itup and then he realized, oh,
this is the neighbor's bill. Thenwhen he got his actual bill, it

(01:01:44):
was the exact same to the pennywhoa you need more proof than that,
ladies, take it to the SupremeCourt. They lie a bunch of high
school students in Texas. They tookthe s A T. But they're going
to have to take that test againafter the school mailed them out to be

(01:02:05):
scanned and they fell off the UPStruck sly after it picked them up.
It sounds like the driver maybe didn'tclose the back door or something. UPS
issued an apology said they've been workingwith the school to recover as many of
the tests as possible. The lastwe heard, fifty five test sheets were
still missing, So all those kidswill have to retake the SAT. Ye.

(01:02:32):
No, that would suck. Sodo you have your do you have
like your your case notes together?I do. Who's now that Cameron's not
a part of things anymore, who'sgoing to be reading the cases? Well?
We only have one option, really, yeah, because the jury consists
of and then we have a veryvindictive and judge at all very biased because

(01:03:00):
we can at least way Sami.Probably that's a good point. I'm very
fair. Should be a tiebreaker.Okay, So are you are you're going
to present the cases? Yes?They have the cases. Okay, excellent,
because what he executes everybody. Ido love sending people to the electric
right. People end up very guiltyfrom the judge, which again I pointed
this out before, it's the ultimateirony. Because these are people I know

(01:03:21):
are being abused by the justice andwhat he's number one fear is being mistakenly
convicted and going to jail. Yeah, and we're throwing all these people in
jail. Classic psychology. You knowwhat I started doing. This is a
true story and a paranoia. Everytime it says hey, can we track
you know this app is tracking orwhatever, I go, yep, it's
a figure. If you say no, then you have an alibi. Yes,

(01:03:46):
tracking, Yeah, because you heardabout like these they don't track their
location tracking like that, the buyinghabits, Yeah, what you're browsing.
I'm talking about like even the likethe navigation at and things like that.
Yeah, exactly. Or I havelike this aura ring or whatever, like
it wants to know what my locationis, things like that, and even

(01:04:09):
like you know between like you knowdifferent people on your contact list, you
can share your location with them.I do that with a few people.
Yes, please do it. Please, Because I thought about it, I'm
like, Wow, if I everneed an alibi and it's just my word
against it about where I was,I can go. Look, that's the
next level paranoia about that. Ishare my location with my friends too.

(01:04:30):
But when I'm like in an uberin case I get kidnapped or something like,
so you know where I am,not twenty four second? Where to
find the body? Yeah? Youknow, minds just I don't want to
go to prison for something I didn'tdo. Look like, well, like
we've heard stories about like the Amazon'sdigital assistance, you know, a lady

(01:04:51):
keeping track of you know, conversationsor whatever. And it's like, so
I figured, like technology can't beused for good and always have to be
used for bad. That's what Ido. My Google Maps is always on
and see so you do it thetime? I okay, it's whenever.
The Remember when I Uber tried tocharge me for a cleaning fee because the
guy picked up somebody else or hedidn't pick up anybody at all, and

(01:05:15):
then I and so I went wentlike fifty miles this way, like well,
no, here's my Google location forthat exact time. I was never
in that. Wow, it's likehe works for the electric company. Now,
if you if you're regularly doing crime, you don't want to do that.
But yeah, just law abiding citizens. That's why I say all the
time, like hey, you wantto listen to my calls? Fine,
you're gonna hear some really boring stuff. You can hear a lot of radio

(01:05:36):
talk. You're gonna hear a lotof complaining about hockey and football. Yeah,
you're gonna hear a lot of that. Cut You're gonna hear some really
boring conversations with my wife about what'sfor dinner and what kind of activities my
kids have this afternoon. That's wherewe differ. Just because you don't have
anything to hide doesn't mean you no. No. But I'm taking I don't

(01:05:58):
necessarily worry about it, and Ifigure, well, if that is happening,
well then they'll know what a borethis guy is. And here's where
he was. Thanks to his horrorring, we know that he wasn't in
that particular location when the murder happened. He was at Chili's. He was
at Chili's. He was in theparlor with a candlestick, I mean chocolate
chip paradise pie. Yeah. Sowe'll take the break and then we'll come

(01:06:19):
back with these cases. Yes,the law offices of Bodega, Menace and
Sebastian. That is next. Hangon, you asked for an answer.
I gave you a question. Whatyou show a bit? Yes, baby,
get it, We're back? Yes, get it yet? Yes?
Yes? So what do you show? So according to somebody on the text,

(01:06:41):
I'm not sure because I didn't seethis part, but those yeah,
the lawsuit they were talking about thetwins, Yeah, who were cheating allegedly
and then there was cheating. Yeah, apparently in medical school right according to
the article, they became lawyers todefend themselves over the acush. Really damn

(01:07:01):
so pretty smart. That's interesting tolaw school. Yeah, like I said,
I didn't I didn't see that partand what I saw and what I
read. But cool. Yeah,it was more like a like a brief
version, brief, you know,cut down version of us. That's pretty
awesome. That's it. That's prettyinteresting. That's very cool. Yeah.
So if Menneso or Sea Bass everget in trouble, well they can rely
on their excuse generating powers that theybring to the table justice generating for the

(01:07:30):
law offices of Bodega Medicine Sebastian.This all started as a joke basically saying,
you know, if there are twopeople that can really explain their way
out of something or excuse their wayout of something, it is it is
Menace and Sea Bass in the Americanjustice system objection and leading the jury.
Yeah, so well there's no juryyet. This is I'm just stating facts
at this point. I'm looking atthem. I'm looking at them. So

(01:07:53):
the law offices of Bodegan Medicine,Sebastian, they'll get you off if you
ever need some help in that area. Now, Sammy has a couple of
cases over there. She's gonna tellus a little bit about the case.
And then Menace and Sea Bass they'regonna do their best to be in all,
you know, like the defense lawyersfor this particular case. And then

(01:08:15):
Raby and Greg is the jury.We'll have to give what they think guilty
or not guilty, and I,as the judge, will help to moderate
and if there is a reason torule, all right, what Yeah,
there's reason to say what the jurysays. Yes, yes, that is
contempt to do his job. Butall right, contempt? Uh huh?

(01:08:36):
All right, what's the first casehere? Sam a Florida woman found behind
a business at three am with noclothes on from the waist down. M
Russell Nikifa, all right and shuther pants off. Keep that in mind.
Okay, we'll come into play.She was charged with public drunk,

(01:08:57):
public indecency and two counts of obstructionofficers of observing the two suspicious vehicles behind
the business with three people outside thevehicles in the parking area. All three
returns to the vehicles as officers approachedthem, and Russell was uncooperative with officers,
refusing, says them, yes right, we're refusing to provide identification and

(01:09:20):
saying that they had no authority.Officers were not able to determine why Russell
was undressed from the waist down.The other two people were not charged charge.
I will ask the defense to keeptheir traps shut while we're getting the
details of the case as to notdistract you. Will have plenty of opportunity

(01:09:41):
to help her. Yes, allright, So in the case of what's
your name, Lakwifa, their pantsare no pants to defend this menace.
Well, first off, Georgia ispretty where this case happened. It's pretty
laxed on nudities. I don't evenknow why they're going after They have nude
beaches by the way, thank you, And again Greg would agree being nude

(01:10:05):
not a big deal, especially alady from the waist down. Also,
but may I add may I addthere was a medical condition happening at this
time, and I don't know ifyou've ever been to Georgia. It is
mad, moist, dumb, swampy, and she had a yeast infection and
she needed to air out the situation. That is correct. Our client is

(01:10:28):
being discriminated against Nikwifa because of havingwhat the crime of a smelly vagina called
bacterial vaginosis, and she was justairing out her vagina, not if she's
behind a business. Is that ona record? That is that is on
record? That is our defense.It's on record east infection and bacterial vaginosis.
So we're arresting people now for havingmedical condition. That's discrimination. One

(01:10:50):
oh one you You might note thatthe other two people were not even arrested,
so there was no crime being committedother than airing out your virgin case
closed. Did Jerry have any questions? I have a question for the judge.
All right, you said, isthat your defense? That's how court

(01:11:11):
works. They say, why theywere naked, She's naked, presented in
the news story airing out her cross. She didn't breaking a defense, that
would be the defense, okay,But was there a test done of any
kind to determine that there was aexactly our point. They did not even
test her the east infection bacterial badgeerknows this. Didn't you have no proof

(01:11:35):
that there was a it's not ayeast infection. This is going to be
your defense. Shouldn't you have sometype of hold on you say? Was
there a test done? I don'tknow if you've seen a YaST infection,
my friend, but no test needed? Right kind of visual? Follow my
question? I don't know if that'sOh, there is trails. My question

(01:11:59):
is trails. Instead of getting combativewith police officers, why not just explain
the situation or let them smell yourGreg? As a person who hates the
police, you're gonna think that theywere telling the truth. When, Oh,
this person stopped resisting arrest type situations, the police say she became a
combative. That is not what actuallyhappened. How many times Greg, have

(01:12:21):
you've been called unruly by people whoweren't even with me? Exactly? Is
the classic toss? That's the classicwe're giving you any excuse of so we
can arrest you. May thank youorder. Yeah, I'm gonna ask the
jury to give me their ruling.How do you find one of these lawyers

(01:12:44):
just study yeast infection is on theoutside. I'd like to different. I'd
like to different from my counsel withit. They don't know what the hell
they're talking about. It was abig swing and a miss. She was
belligerent with police allegedly. Okay,you don't know you'velty guilty for ravy Greg
Gory. I think, unfortunately theclient might have to fall on the knife

(01:13:06):
on behalf of the half of uhthis law firm Sebastian, maybe to teach
him a valuable lesson that he shouldwait, I get called on my demeanor
when you're not even with me,so on behalf of counsel. Strike the

(01:13:30):
guilty, backup, jo going withthe jury. Guilty woman, jury go
to jail for medical okay, cool, need this case to jail for yours
infection on the okay, Ladies,be on the lookout. You're going to
jail. Oh, my friend,you can see it. Yeah, that

(01:13:51):
was perhaps a miss step on.I feel like I had it locked down
and next case please. A teacher'sassistant has been charged with marijuana possession after
weed was discovered in his lunch bag. A student at the school had been
placed in the teacher's lounge to calmdown, and the student then pulled faculty
members belongings out of lockers and beganthrowing them around the room. That's when

(01:14:14):
authorities discovered a mason jar containing fortyfive point three grams of marijuana divided into
three baggies inside a lunch bag,and that belonged to twenty eight year old
Jimmy Reid, the teacher's assistant.Oh, I think Jimmy Hanson plans all
right, allegedly, allegedly, Iwill go to the representis of the lobs
as of Bodega Medicine, Sebastian forthe defense. I'd like to cite the

(01:14:35):
case of Ravy versus blaze it issue. Ravy, do you recall the gift
you were given at Venice's birthday partymost recently? It was an a big
jar, big glass jar. Uhwhat was that gift? Ravey? Candy?
Candy? And boy what did thatcandy look exactly like weed buds?

(01:14:55):
It looked exactly like weed buds anda big mason jar. Which is this
the thing you would get like ata farmer's market somewhere. It wasn't label,
that was not labeled weed. Ipicked it up, I thought,
oh my god, I found aton. I thought that's weed. So
you could easily see how someone couldmake the reverse supposition, like, oh,
that's that's that's just candy, notmarijuana. Bus especially if it's in

(01:15:15):
a mason jar. Number one.Number two, this was not in a
mason jar though, This was inbaggies. But yeah, but within within
the mason jar, right, soyou gonna keep candy fresh? I get
that. So baggies inside a masonjar is what we got here. Just
I want to correct the jury.Just want to details. Number two.
It wasn't like he was out thereselling it. Some a whole kid threw

(01:15:38):
his crap on the ground and hishis candy, his alleged crap. I
would like to alleged crap. Talkto coworker here, good point. I'll
toss it over to my co counsil. This is a nuclear cover up by
the student. You're telling me,an unruly student that is put in a
room by himself, discovers weed ina teacher's bag. Who kidding me?

(01:16:00):
Taking the side of the student introuble, Yes, as opposed to this
calm business teacher. Absolutely ridiculous.You're taking the student student, not you,
but the cops. The cops aretaking the side of the student that
he discovered this weed in the teacher'sbag. This student is absolutely unruly that
he has to be put in aroom. So we're taking his side of

(01:16:21):
the stories that he did not plantthis. Not only he's so bad,
he's in the room, he didn'tbecomes more un really inside the room.
And on top of that, studentteachers are America's heroes. We really can't
go after them. If it wastrue, if it was his weed,
let them have weed. Yeah,exactly, even if it were, which
we're not saying it is. Buteither way, I'm not taking the side

(01:16:45):
of a student that is put ina room by himself. No discovers weed.
Obviously, there has been issues inthe past that he has to be
put in this room by himself.To get your co cansel. Also,
forty five point three grams is anounce and a half. Let's come on,
it's all right, let's go tothe jury. Is the jury have
any further questions for the defense?All right, Gregory, We're gonna start

(01:17:09):
with you. This kid sounds likea mega snoop, not guilty for the
teachers as system. Not guilty teacher'sassistant. I mean, I don't think
he's a snoop. He was justbeing angry and just destroying. He was
destructive. I don't think he wasnecessarily snooping. But I also not guilty,

(01:17:30):
not guilty, thank you, anda very rare show of mercy.
I am also going to rule notthat I need to carry this one,
because both jurors have decided that theteacher assistant is not guilty. But I
also put in just a little privatenote on the side there not guilty,
not guilty. You can't take theword of some no good kid, thank

(01:17:54):
you, who, by the way, as somebody on the text points out,
shouldn't have been putting the teachers loudthere going through bags. Yeah,
yeah, that's all right. We'regonna take a break and then we'll come
back. We got some more.We'll get one more case from the law
offices of Bodega, Menace and Sebastian. If you find yourself in a situation,
the law offices of Bodega, Menaceand Subatgetan will be there for you.

(01:18:17):
They'll get you off. Take yourfeet up on the dashboards, back
in a few show. This show, Yeah, this is the wooty show.
Yeah, the law offices of Bodega, Menace and Sebastian. Yes we
have we have time for one morecase. If you guys have it in

(01:18:40):
you, I don't know if youused up all your lying energy and smart
lying Red. You're not the judge. That's why judge kick you right out.
That's not the legal system where actuallyhave one guy who's in charge no
matter what, and he can neverbe removed your challenge in this court.
That is absolutely the way it goes, All right, Sammy, what is
the next case? A woman approacheda five year old and then attempted to

(01:19:03):
hand the child's suspected marijuana. Allegedly, that's when the child's mother confronted the
woman, and then the woman pulledout a concealed fire and pointed it at
the mother's head and then fired ashot into the air and said the next
one's for you. There were twosmall children standing next to the victim when
the shot rang out. There wasa nine millimeter shell casing that was recovered

(01:19:25):
at the scene, and a warrantwas issued along with a search warrant for
the woman. She was arrested ather home, where investigators found a nine
milimeter handgun under her mattress and arecord check showed that the firearm was stolen
during a robbery incident. All right, so I do have a clarification in
this one. You said that shepulled out a concealed fire. Was it

(01:19:50):
a flame or did you mean tosay fire arm? I will help the
reader here. That is how thestory was written. Yeah, did she
pull out an actual fire? Bythe news matches Mario throwing a fireball?
So on one hand, that shouldhave proofreading would have helped. On the
other hand, that was that wasthe way the actual news story was.

(01:20:13):
She's not here to interpret, sheis here just to report, right,
but also sometimes you might have alittle bit of an analytical mind on yourself.
How am I saying anyway? Eitherway, you want to start it
all start? First off, thisis in Berkeley. Everything is legal,
So I don't even know why thisis a story, right, But we'll
go ahead and we'll dive in.Yeah, uh, we're just gonna believe

(01:20:35):
that the five year old and themother on this entire story. I wasn't
doing nothing. I was just mindingmy business and this crazy lady walked up
and try to sell weed. I'dlike to see you or give weed to
my kids, to say, thecase of Halloween candy versus everybody. No
one is giving your No one isgiving your kid drugs, especially a five

(01:20:55):
year old. No, because drugsare expensive. And that's that's easy.
Right. If you try to aska five year old to tell you a
story or what happened, they talkin circles. So I'm sure the mother
overreacted this woman. This was anexcuse for whatever pre beep she had yeah
to go after this woman, andthe woman was just defending herself. Then

(01:21:16):
the gun. Let me say aboutshe fired what a warning shot over her
head? Right? Not at anybody? Right? I would like to point
what do you love the show Yellowstone? Wouldn't the whole world beat better if
we all just acted like we wereon the Dutton ranch? Right? I'm
not allowed to sway the jury.The I know what the answer to that
is. And all she did wasfire a warning shot and had warning shot

(01:21:40):
on the Dutton ranch. That's ranchjustice right there. Didn't hurt nobody.
She was like menace was saying.She was being approached by an angry mother
for because I was Yeah, becauseI was selling your five year old weed.
That's what really happened. Okay,ten seconds and the gun was from
a family member at the house.Yeah, we don't care, We don't
know. I could have been anyway. Self defense. The details of the

(01:22:02):
case, that is the defense beingoffered up by the losses of Bodega Medicine,
Sebastian. We will go to Rabyon this one. That is a
massive swing in a miss defending somesort of evil bitch who just breaks out
of firearm and fireflight in front oftwo little kids. Mega super ultra guilty
the mother. I'm sure the mother'sdemeanor was over here to check my ears.

(01:22:29):
I'm sorry. You know what,I realized. I have the power
to shut off microphones as you should, like they do in courtrooms where they
just turn the microphone off like somelike a city council meeting. Sometimes they
do that in communist child at thetime, order, I say, order
baldy as well, menace, I'llput you on a sixty day juice cleanse
whoa calm down, Greg Gory.I do agree one hundred percent with your

(01:22:55):
premise that nobody just walks up toa random kid, not to sell,
to give the pot away. Here'smy pot, random kid. I agree
with your premise one hundred percent.But to answer that with gun, I'm
sorry. Guilty. Warning shot,Greg, Warning shots. It's the mother
or girl with the jury in thispicture case. I do find them guilty.

(01:23:20):
I know what he didn't. Youare no rips. There is the
h law offices of Bodega, Menaceand Sebastian Dies. Please for three.
You find yourself in trouble, they'llgive you a hand. We're much better
not in North Korea. They'll giveyou a hand. They'll get you off.

(01:23:42):
We're gonna take a break more woodHe Shows. Next hangout will be
right back. Buila wouldn't approve theWoody Show All right. Time to wrap
up and get the hell out ofhere. Everybody, we must thank you
so much. I know it's astruggle sometimes for the stitting to the Woody
Show. Wow, but hopefully enjoyyourself this morning. Do us a favor.

(01:24:04):
Give us a follow on social mediaat the Woody Show, Twitter and
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sure you're commenting too, Especially onFacebook. You will know that Ravy will
read your comment. Oh yeah,Raby that she's always on there she is,
Yeah, she loves that and anyway, Yeah, Facebook dot com Slash
the Woody Show. And on theon the YouTube page we have all those

(01:24:26):
animated podcasts. You can go backcheck out the dyq videos, some of
the Sea Bass will they Take ItBack videos, and other things that we've
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videos that we post on the daily. You can find that YouTube dot com
Slash the Woody Show. Call ourFirst Impressions hotline if you're a new listener
or a relatively new listener of theshow. We're always interested to see what

(01:24:48):
you think, what you feel aboutthe show, what you like, what
you don't like, what you wantto hear more or less of that first
Impressions hotline. Toll free eight threethree Join Fun. That's eight three three
fun, Raby, anything else that'sit? Alright? C Bass Menace,
anything you want to add that isit all right? Gregory? How about
some imparting words of wisdom? Yeah, you know, most families are temperamental,

(01:25:09):
half temper half mental, true sometimesmore you say, mine's mostly mental,
mostly mental, I'm gonna chip offthe old block. I'll thank you
very much, Gregory. Of course, the rest of you guys can suck
it. We will catch back heretomorrow. Have a great day. S
M D double M. I quitthis bitch.