Dad Starting Over

"She's just stressed." The kids, the job, her mom, the move. You've been telling yourself that for seven years.

Real stress comes and goes. The deadline passes, the mother-in-law goes home, and the couple that's actually okay finds their way back to each other. If yours survived three jobs, two houses, and one good year, it's not stress anymore. It's the climate.

In this video I break down why "she's just stressed" is the most useful...

Cassie is back. She's an occupational therapist who works with neurodiverse kids, she lectures at the college level, she'll have her PhD next May, and she has severe lifelong ADHD herself. She doesn't dance around any of it.

By my estimate the majority of the men in my community are neurodivergent in one flavor or another. This conversation is about what that actually does to a marriage.

We get into:

The man who had a business, a full...

She didn't say she was tired. She didn't say "not tonight." She said she'd rather end the whole marriage than be physical with you again. And now you can't stop hearing it.

In this one I read an email from a man who got hit with that exact line, and I break down what it actually reveals. Not about you. About where things really stand. Because most men take a sentence like that and turn it into a verdict on their worth. That's the tr...

Kate is the admittedly avoidant partner to Tyler Ely, the anxious partner I had on a previous live stream. Tyler read The Dead Bedroom Fix, backed off, and started working on his own security. It helped. We heard his side. This one is hers.

Three years ago they sat in therapy and talked about ending it. Today she cancels plans so she can be around him.

What she gets into:

• Why she stopped believing him even while he was doing every...

She told you she needs to feel "safe" before she can want you again. So you did the logical thing. You got softer. Gentler. More patient. More accommodating. You walked on eggshells and gave her all the space and comfort she asked for.

And she wants you even less than before.

In this one I break down the therapy-language excuse that has trapped a whole generation of good men, and why "being safe" is almost always the thing making it ...

He told himself the same thing for eleven years. Just hold on until the kids are grown, then we'll reconnect. The empty nest came. Nothing changed.

In this one I read a real email from a 58-year-old man sitting in a silent house, asking if it's too late and whether he wasted his window. Then I walk through the final talk. When to have it, how to have it from a place of strength, and why "waiting it out" is the trap that costs men t...

New series, new co-host. Cassie (https://x.com/FutureDrSassy) is an occupational therapist, a researcher, and a certified pelvic floor therapist — and starting now, she and I are going to have the conversations about sex and intimacy that nobody had with any of us growing up.

This first one starts where all of it starts: childhood. What you watched your parents do — the hand-holding, the date nights, the kisses in the ki...

His wife said it five or six times over the course of a year. "If you need it that bad, just go find it somewhere else." He sat her down one night and asked her to confirm it. She did. Twice.

A few weeks later he had one phone call with an old friend from college. Ninety minutes. No flirting. Nothing physical. She was going through her own divorce and needed someone to talk to.

A few days later, his wife went through his phone, found...

Alison Armstrong has been studying men since 1991, when she caught herself bringing out the worst in them and assuming that's who men really were. Thirty-five years later, she's the author of The Queen's Code, the creator of the Understanding Men and Understanding Women courses, and most of her work is teaching WOMEN to stop emasculating men. This week she sat down with a channel full of guys rebuilding after divorce.

We got into: w...

He stopped initiating six months ago. He told himself it was a test. He waited for her to notice. She never did.

In this episode I break down what's actually going on when a husband quietly withdraws from his sexless marriage and his wife doesn't react. Spoiler: it's not what most guys think. It's not her being checked out for a week. It's data. And the data is loud.

We cover:

The quiet test most men eventually run
Greg's email

What if she already loves you as much as she is capable of loving anybody? And it's still not enough for you.

Not because she's cruel. Not because she's punishing you. Not because there's a switch you haven't found yet. The tank just isn't that big.

I had an attachment expert named Cassie on my live stream, and she told me a story I haven't been able to shake. She'd been with an avoidant man who discarded her with no real explanation...

A full hour LIVE with therapist and author Laura How — one of the very few women publicly saying what she says about sexless marriages. So few, in fact, that the wives in her own village have stopped saying hello.

We covered a lot of ground: whether you should stay when the in-love feelings fade, why "I fell out of love" is usually an ego defense, what attachment dysfunction actually is (hint: it's arrested development, and it...

He came home early from a work trip. Didn't text ahead. Walked in and found out the truth.

His wife doesn't have a desire problem. The desire works fine. He's just not part of it.

Derek wrote me after sitting in his car for twenty minutes trying to figure out what to do with what he just found out. In this episode I break down what's actually going on — why the vibrator isn't about preference, what the anxious-avoidant dynamic ...

Here is a recording of impromptu live stream I recently did. No script, no agenda, just me and the chat. And as usual, the unscheduled ones end up being the best ones.

This stream turned into a full clinic on the stuff I hear from men every single day: the guy who told his wife he desired her and got nothing back. The guy 10 years into a sexless marriage who swears he "shouldn't have to" bring it up. The guy engaged to a woman who a...

A man divorces his wife after two years of zero affection post-menopause. He starts dating again, shares his story with a woman he's seeing, and she calls him a narcissist. His ex-wife used the same word. Now he's writing to me wondering if they're right.

In this episode, I break down what actual narcissism is, why the word has become a go-to weapon in relationship conflict, and how to think clearly about whether the label actually ...

She stopped hugging you. She doesn't hold your hand. She shifts away on the couch without even thinking about it. You tell yourself it's just a sex problem. But deep down, you know it's not.

I respond to a letter from Mike — 42, married 11 years — who had the moment where he realized it wasn't just the bedroom that went dead. It was everything.

We break down: 

— The difference between a dead bedroom and a dead m...

Brian finally had the conversation. Sat his wife down, told her the truth — the distance, the loneliness, how much he missed her. She cried. She said she was sorry. She said she didn't want to lose them.

Two weeks later nothing has changed.

In this episode I break down why the crying moment feels like a breakthrough but often isn't, what's actually happening when a woman feels it in the moment and then goes right back to her de...

Tom finally got his wife to agree to couples counseling. He was hopeful for the first time in months. He thought they were finally going to address the real issues — the distance, the intimacy, the disconnection.

Instead every session became a list of everything he's ever done wrong. Old arguments. Ancient history. Things he's already apologized for. And the actual problems — a year without sex, emotional withdrawal &mda...

I went live with divorce coach Karen McMahon from Journey Beyond Divorce (https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com) and this turned into one of the most honest conversations I’ve had about what men actually go through during divorce.

We talked about:

Why “being a good guy” can destroy you in divorce

The hidden damage of codependency

Why men give too much away (money, custody, power)

The fear that keeps men stuck in bad marria...