Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
How's it feeling.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I feel like it hasn't changed my life one single bit,
but I'm.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Supposed to be. It's about the future. It's not about today,
as we've said before. But people want to panic, and
people want to with Trump derangement syndrome. They want you
to panic and hate Trump for making you lose money,
but in the long run, it's supposed to pay off.
I don't know enough about business and economy and tariffs
or any of that to tell you I think it
(00:27):
is true, but I do think Trump knows a lot
about that. I think Elon Musk probably knows a lot
about that. And I think even the people that are
complaining about the tariffs probably know they're wrong, but they
don't want you to know it. Now.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hey, you know what we want to do on the
show right now? Something I think you'll appreciate, mister, mister Kenneth,
a little fashion related news to We've been here too
long to leave early now, Huh, Yeah, we're not leaving early.
We're gonna stay till the end of the show as
a fault, mister Kenneth, have you seen this yet in
your hair salon with the young women of the.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Those girls don't come into my salon.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I have a photo on the screen in here of
yoga pants, except they're a little different than a regular
pair of yoga pey cleavage. Well, will you explain where
the cleavage is? Well, uh, that's butt cleavage right there.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
I want to just point out here.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I know we're supposed to be real conservative, social conservative,
paleo right wing. I'm here for this. I'm fine with it.
I can't believe this didn't happen sooner.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Are you good with that? If you're you know, try
to foresee a future where you have a girlfriend or
a wife. You're okay with her wearing those butt cleavage
pants out and about in public.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
First of all, I'll have you know I have a
lot of girlfriends, yes, which means you have none.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Second of all, you know, my first thought is now
that butt cleavage is a thing. Maybe we should explain
what we're looking at. It's a photo of a pair
of yoga pants, but the back area is cut in
such a way that you could see the butt crack,
but just the top of the butt crack, kind of
like boobs.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
There's a V shape cut out just below the waistband
that the point of the v at the bottom there,
you know, exposes the crack. Right, Well, why don't she
turn them around and wear them the right way? I
think she's got them on backwards.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
It's a weird thing about cleavage, right, whether you're talking
about butt cleavage, which is the new thing, or breast cleavage.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Could you imagine cleavage is so over with the boobs
side boob became a thing and now under boob later,
at some point maybe you'll get all of it, you know,
instead of just like a ring around the rosie. I
assure you cleavage is still a thing. I've seen it today.
(02:40):
We live in an office. But just like duh, cleavage,
big deal.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
But as far as women having breast cleavage or butt
cleavage goes, it's an odd thing because I want you
to imagine if the roles were reversed. I want you
to imagine if men did this. Now, there's only one thing.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Imagine if men dressed or acted like women in many
in the gym.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
There's only one thing men could have cleavage for, right,
there's only one. Could you imagine if I was wearing
pants that were cut so low that you could see
everything but the tip, the tip was covered so the
stalk is okay, right, the nipples covered, right, the tip's covered.
That's the general the correlation here, sure, right, but the
but the but the top half you could see it.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Wouldn't that be bizarre? What if a man showed up
with butt cleavage in the gym? And I don't mean
like you know, somebody's really hot attractive, but I mean like, well,
you know, yours or something. It wouldn't work for me.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
No, Here's why people would think I was wearing fur underpants.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
That's right. Where is this?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
There's no explanation for that anyways, So good, so you're
gonna start to see this. And my other concern is,
and again I want to point out I'm pro this
the butt cleavage thing on women. I'm okay with it,
but pun intended. But ecoli, where does that come from?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
What's preventing us from the bacteria of your nether regions
other than a pair of underpants and a pair of.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
We she wants you to touch it? I just think
she wants you to look at it.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay, but it's gonna rub on the chair. Do you
not touch the chair when you walk into the room?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Are you not wearing pants. I mean, I'm wearing them. Well,
then keep them on, but no, keep her a ecoli
off of you.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Hang on, you're gonna touch the chair. Right, Let's pretend
somebody was using this studio yesterday. A stretch, I know,
but it happens. Sometimes people will come in and let's
pretend whoever was in here yesterday it was another radio
show down the hall needed to use our studio. And
it happens, and they had a guest, a female guest
with the butt cleavage going on. And let's pretend she
didn't shower that day. And let's pretend she sat on
(04:41):
this chair. And then let's pretend mister Kenneth comes in
and touches the chair. Hours later, you have now got
her butt germs on your hand.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Don't touch the seat of the chair. Touch the upper
higher back of the chair. That's the only place to
touch it right there. What uh huh? And now speak
enough touching it. You've probably touched things with your hand
in the last twenty four hours that I don't want
on my chair either.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Well, like George Carlin pointed out, maybe that's the best
thing for us, you know, maybe this woman is actually
helping society, get.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
A little germs on you ever now, and then let
your body learn how to fight its own fight.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Here's what I can't figure out. Is she causing the
next pandemic? Or is she preventing it? I don't actually
know the answer. I'd like to know eight six six.
I love WJ.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Well.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Putting your butt germs on everything protects society in the
long run and make us stronger?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Will it make us weaker?
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Boy, no, ain't and O. I was watching this movie
the other night. I was on a bad blind date.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
We went to see Pride and Prejudice, which is a
Jane Austen book starring some guy that's looked like Matthew Broderick,
but he was British.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's a different guy.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
And in the film, the young woman goes on a
date and while she's on the date, it starts to rain,
and their reaction is they're like, well, I guess we
won't see her again. It starts raining out there, like, well,
what's gonna happen. Well, she's gonna get sick and she'll
have to stay wherever she is until she's not sick anymore.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Right, he's got the called No, she can't come back here.
She's got the call. That's your only daughter.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You're just gonna leave her somewhere because well in the
seventeen hundred, sure you didn't want her to come home
with the cold.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
She'd kill everyone.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Stay out there on your date with the young man
who's courting you and kill his family.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
And you went to see this movie on purpose. I
got catfished. Oh you thought she was gonna get some.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Remember two chins. Remember I explained her went on a
date with a young woman. She looked very thin in
all of her photos and then she showed up.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Were they old pictures or were they photoshopped? Or does
she just know how to pose? It's hard to girls
know how to you know, turn a certain angle, put
this foot in front of this foot, cross him over,
and then they look like they're like forty pounds later.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Right, And it's hard to tell anymore now because AI. Right,
there's this woman who's running as a primary candidate against
Dan Crenshaw, and we wanted her to be a good candidate,
but it looks like she's a grifter and a con artist.
And one of the things that tipped us off is
in her AI generated profile photo on her website or
social accounts.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
She looks skinny and pretty.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
But then if you see her out at like a
tea party, town hall event, she looks like the.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Before photo of a weight loss center.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
She's a I don't think and you know, it's like,
you can be fat and ugly and run for office.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I'll still vote for you, but you do.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
But you can't be a liar. That's right away. It's
like you're lying to me about being fat and ugly. Well,
now I don't trust you about anything, just on the
fact that you're fat and ugly. Ted Cruise is fat and.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Ugly and we love him, but he's not obese. I
don't think he's just you know, a little soft, little pud.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Have you seen him lately with the mustache. Well, he's
had a goateee for years now. He grew out the
mustache a little more. It looks Honestly, I think it's
a good look. I think it's a cool I think
he needs the facial hair.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yet, if you're a Cuban politician, you need to grasp
onto that ride, that Cuban lightning all the way to
the Bongo Party. I guess I don't know what a
Cuban guys do bongo party.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah that makes sat Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Anyway,
do that. Ted cruzsty only.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
A Johnson roses of billion, mister Kenneth and mister Road too,
chub Bell fem feing truth.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Walton and Johnson. No, you gotta tell the story. You
gotta tell the story faster than that. Yeah, this is
gonna take old day. We ain't got that kind of time.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
You can't say, let me tell you about a friend
of mine, and then we all wait while you do
up bass solo. Do get your bass guitar out of here. Okay,
lightning round of soundbites we've been sitting on all morning.
Here's Chuck Schumer in twenty eighteen saying that Trump's proposed
tariffs against China are a great eyeaans rewind it, please
thank you.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Look, I think the President's doing the right thing. China
has been taking advantage of us for two decades. They're
stealing our intellectual property, which means stealing our good paying jobs.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
I agree with Chuck Schumer in twenty eighteen. I think
you've got Chuck doesn't agree with Chuck though not now.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Mike Pence literally spent a year going around the country
arguing in favor of Trump's tariff policies.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Now he's against. Our president is going to keep fighting
for trade deals that are free and fair and reciprocal
and are a win for Americans in the city and on.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
The far Mike pensid twenty nineteen was right about tariffs
against our foreign countries. All right, here's the Osbourne's telling
you that Donald Trump's the nicest guy they've ever met.
This is Ozzie, Jack, Sharon and Kelly.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
It pains me to actually say this, but every interaction
I've ever had with Donald Trump, he's been nothing but
a gentleman and nice to me. He when I did
the Apprentice with him, he was very supportive of you
both because you were both working on your sobriety, and
(09:45):
he kept saying well done about the pair of you.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
So sorry, mom did the Apprentice for a month?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Of course.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah, oh, he doesn't remember it, if he ever knew
in the first place.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I'm sorry you were on a TV show. If Donald Trump,
All right, here's another one here. This is about a
Texas politician, but he could be anywhere. This is a
Democrat named Senator Roland Gutierrez. Now, if you saw Roland
Gutierrez at the Trader Joe's.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh boy, I'm looking at him on TV there.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You would think his name was Bob Smith. You would
think this guy's name was Skyler Callum or some white
guy named like that. Here he is talking about how
white people having jobs.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Is a problem that needs to get fixed.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Go ahead, it's only two Latino as you gative directors
in the state of Texas, all was one.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Hundred and thirty five black and round is only four.
That's it?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Are we We're not treating everybody the same one hundred
and twenty white guys have the job, where white women
don't have the job. Black men and black women don't
have the job, Brown women don't have the job. Somebody
decided building and the powers that be these commissions that
these white men were the way we wanted to go.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And that's not racism to you, all right, col Now
do the Houston Rockets and watching this white guy say
this is ridiculous? And could it also possibly be that
the the black and the browns and the women didn't
want that job. Maybe they didn't go out after that job.
Maybe they didn't apply for it or run for it
(11:30):
or fill out the proper form for it. Maybe they
didn't want it.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
He's talking about how they're getting rid of diversity and
equity programs in the state of Taxis.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Well, they're going to force black people into jobs now,
just so we have diversity. Well, mister O, you like,
that's not like way we're hitting. What is because white
people just can't help, even when they think they're helping.
They can't help but force black people to do stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
If white flight is racist, then gentrification can't be racist.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
If gentrification is read kid one hundred and eighty degrees,
which side, there's a full racism circle.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
There's too many white guys working on this construction site.
Do you think this guy right here, rolland Gutierrez has
ever walked into a Chinese buffet, noticed everybody working there
was the same race, and then tried to persecute them
for racism.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I don't think he has.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I'm kind of tired of this idea that white men
being employed is a problem that needs to be fixed white.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
There's too many white guys with a job in here.
I'm sick and tired of it.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I want to see a black lady shovel manure at
a horse farm. Like, what, that seems worse than they
won't do it. I'll force them to Eyeah, that historically
has never been a problem before. Where's my whip?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
They love?
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Whim whip crack.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, it is weird that a white man's saying this too,
Like the white guy's like not enough black women on
the construction site.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Okay, easy there, white guy.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I know your last name is Gutierrez, but you're gonna
benefit from all the same things any other white guy
would benefit from if you walked into it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
WHOA, I'm sure he'll turn all of the benefits down
because he's just that kind of great man that the
rest of us should try to be like. U.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Sure, Yeah, this obscure government position is overwhelming. We won race.
That must be bigotry. Please protect us.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Earlier we were talking about the amount of tax and
the amount of debt we're in and how did it
happen we spent all our money and more. You know
what I noticed? And I know math is racist and
it's also very hard, but I got one of them iPhones,
and that is pretty good math. If you divide the
(13:31):
thirty six trillion dollars that we're currently upside down with
by five hundred and thirty five politicians that run this country.
You'll see exactly where all that money went. Yeah, they're
the reason we're in the debt we're in right now.
Between the fact that we gave a bunch of chump
money to other countries that hate us and still charge
(13:52):
us to do business with them, but they don't think
we ought to charge them. We're just giving away money.
And then the rest of it goes to the five
hundred and thirty five giver or take petitians. And of
course they've got employees, and they got what they call him,
people that go up there and just talk about stuff
for a living. Lobbyist or politicians lobbyist. Yes, that's them.
Sure they got that. So between all the politicians and
(14:12):
the lobbyists, you can immediately see that thirty six trillion
dollars went right in their pocket.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Oh yeah, I went right into the garbage can. Hey,
before we get out of here, here's a funny thing.
Earlier we were playing sound bites of William Shatner. They're
making a hologram William Shatner for after he dies, so
you could still hear from him.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Oh that's another thing. Ozzie's gonna be doing too. So
you see where I'm going with this.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Ozzy Osbourne isn't even dead yet, and Sharon's already a
head of working on his hologram version. I do wonder like,
who's going to interrupt Sharon in the middle of her
rant about being on the Apprentice to ask Sharon, Hey, how.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Do you know Donald Trump? Again? I'm as and I'm
the Prince of Dog and this. Yeah, okay, so we
screamed her name a lot in that reality show.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I feel like we don't need a hologram for that's
got to be the easiest hologram to make.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
He doesn't.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
He's already absolutely incoherent and has no sense of consciousness
or where he is from one minute to the next. Well,
some AI software would be complicated and complex. You would
need to be able to interact with it and have
it understand depth and brevity and nuances and stuff. For
Ozzy Osbourne's hologram to work correctly. It can't understand those things. Hey,
(15:27):
you know what I would do today while we're off
the air. I would download the Walton and Johnson's smartphone
app because it's free.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yea, I'd already done that. What do you wait?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
No, and I would go to I LOOVEWJ dot com
right now and get some great stuff for spring and
summer coming up.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Gulf of America hoodies.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
And towels, Miami Doge Department of Government Efficiency beach towels,
don't tread on memes, t shirts, Fat jd Vance coffee mugs,
make frying oil tallow again, the Doge Father, mousepads Man.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
That's a lot of stuff. Feel free to take your
time linger at our website if you will. Yeah, John
Wooden Rush, don't forget boys and girls too, eat it
every day. Hey again, you've reached the end of though
Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That means you
listened all the way to the end.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again? No, no, no, there will be a news
show tomorrow. Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or
we're off work. But as always, you could go to
waltonand Johnson dot com and you could find all kinds
of cool stuff there. Our news blog links to our
social media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal lives
are very boring. If you comment on our social media pages,
we might.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Reply, Yeah, chances are we're just sitting around waiting to
hear from you. Yeah, so, what's the big deal. Go
to Walton Johnson dot com today. I'm told there's a store.
Oh yes, we do have a lovely store and you
could buy things there. Walton Johnson dot com. What's not
to love.
How's it feeling.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I feel like it hasn't changed my life one single bit,
but I'm.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Supposed to be. It's about the future. It's not about today,
as we've said before. But people want to panic, and
people want to with Trump derangement syndrome. They want you
to panic and hate Trump for making you lose money,
but in the long run, it's supposed to pay off.
I don't know enough about business and economy and tariffs
or any of that to tell you I think it
(00:27):
is true, but I do think Trump knows a lot
about that. I think Elon Musk probably knows a lot
about that. And I think even the people that are
complaining about the tariffs probably know they're wrong, but they
don't want you to know it. Now.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hey, you know what we want to do on the
show right now? Something I think you'll appreciate, mister, mister Kenneth,
a little fashion related news to We've been here too
long to leave early now, Huh, Yeah, we're not leaving early.
We're gonna stay till the end of the show as
a fault, mister Kenneth, have you seen this yet in
your hair salon with the young women of the.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Those girls don't come into my salon.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
I have a photo on the screen in here of
yoga pants, except they're a little different than a regular
pair of yoga pey cleavage. Well, will you explain where
the cleavage is? Well, uh, that's butt cleavage right there.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
I want to just point out here.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
I know we're supposed to be real conservative, social conservative,
paleo right wing. I'm here for this. I'm fine with it.
I can't believe this didn't happen sooner.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Are you good with that? If you're you know, try
to foresee a future where you have a girlfriend or
a wife. You're okay with her wearing those butt cleavage
pants out and about in public.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
First of all, I'll have you know I have a
lot of girlfriends, yes, which means you have none.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Second of all, you know, my first thought is now
that butt cleavage is a thing. Maybe we should explain
what we're looking at. It's a photo of a pair
of yoga pants, but the back area is cut in
such a way that you could see the butt crack,
but just the top of the butt crack, kind of
like boobs.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
There's a V shape cut out just below the waistband
that the point of the v at the bottom there,
you know, exposes the crack. Right, Well, why don't she
turn them around and wear them the right way? I
think she's got them on backwards.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
It's a weird thing about cleavage, right, whether you're talking
about butt cleavage, which is the new thing, or breast cleavage.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Could you imagine cleavage is so over with the boobs
side boob became a thing and now under boob later,
at some point maybe you'll get all of it, you know,
instead of just like a ring around the rosie. I
assure you cleavage is still a thing. I've seen it today.
(02:40):
We live in an office. But just like duh, cleavage,
big deal.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
But as far as women having breast cleavage or butt
cleavage goes, it's an odd thing because I want you
to imagine if the roles were reversed. I want you
to imagine if men did this. Now, there's only one thing.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Imagine if men dressed or acted like women in many
in the gym.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
There's only one thing men could have cleavage for, right,
there's only one. Could you imagine if I was wearing
pants that were cut so low that you could see
everything but the tip, the tip was covered so the
stalk is okay, right, the nipples covered, right, the tip's covered.
That's the general the correlation here, sure, right, but the
but the but the top half you could see it.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Wouldn't that be bizarre? What if a man showed up
with butt cleavage in the gym? And I don't mean
like you know, somebody's really hot attractive, but I mean like, well,
you know, yours or something. It wouldn't work for me.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
No, Here's why people would think I was wearing fur underpants.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
That's right. Where is this?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
There's no explanation for that anyways, So good, so you're
gonna start to see this. And my other concern is,
and again I want to point out I'm pro this
the butt cleavage thing on women. I'm okay with it,
but pun intended. But ecoli, where does that come from?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
What's preventing us from the bacteria of your nether regions
other than a pair of underpants and a pair of.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
We she wants you to touch it? I just think
she wants you to look at it.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Okay, but it's gonna rub on the chair. Do you
not touch the chair when you walk into the room?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Are you not wearing pants. I mean, I'm wearing them. Well,
then keep them on, but no, keep her a ecoli
off of you.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Hang on, you're gonna touch the chair. Right, Let's pretend
somebody was using this studio yesterday. A stretch, I know,
but it happens. Sometimes people will come in and let's
pretend whoever was in here yesterday it was another radio
show down the hall needed to use our studio. And
it happens, and they had a guest, a female guest
with the butt cleavage going on. And let's pretend she
didn't shower that day. And let's pretend she sat on
(04:41):
this chair. And then let's pretend mister Kenneth comes in
and touches the chair. Hours later, you have now got
her butt germs on your hand.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Don't touch the seat of the chair. Touch the upper
higher back of the chair. That's the only place to
touch it right there. What uh huh? And now speak
enough touching it. You've probably touched things with your hand
in the last twenty four hours that I don't want
on my chair either.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Well, like George Carlin pointed out, maybe that's the best
thing for us, you know, maybe this woman is actually
helping society, get.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
A little germs on you ever now, and then let
your body learn how to fight its own fight.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Here's what I can't figure out. Is she causing the
next pandemic? Or is she preventing it? I don't actually
know the answer. I'd like to know eight six six.
I love WJ.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Well.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Putting your butt germs on everything protects society in the
long run and make us stronger?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Will it make us weaker?
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Boy, no, ain't and O. I was watching this movie
the other night. I was on a bad blind date.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
We went to see Pride and Prejudice, which is a
Jane Austen book starring some guy that's looked like Matthew Broderick,
but he was British.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
It's a different guy.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
And in the film, the young woman goes on a
date and while she's on the date, it starts to rain,
and their reaction is they're like, well, I guess we
won't see her again. It starts raining out there, like, well,
what's gonna happen. Well, she's gonna get sick and she'll
have to stay wherever she is until she's not sick anymore.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Right, he's got the called No, she can't come back here.
She's got the call. That's your only daughter.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You're just gonna leave her somewhere because well in the
seventeen hundred, sure you didn't want her to come home
with the cold.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
She'd kill everyone.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Stay out there on your date with the young man
who's courting you and kill his family.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
And you went to see this movie on purpose. I
got catfished. Oh you thought she was gonna get some.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Remember two chins. Remember I explained her went on a
date with a young woman. She looked very thin in
all of her photos and then she showed up.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Were they old pictures or were they photoshopped? Or does
she just know how to pose? It's hard to girls
know how to you know, turn a certain angle, put
this foot in front of this foot, cross him over,
and then they look like they're like forty pounds later.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Right, And it's hard to tell anymore now because AI. Right,
there's this woman who's running as a primary candidate against
Dan Crenshaw, and we wanted her to be a good candidate,
but it looks like she's a grifter and a con artist.
And one of the things that tipped us off is
in her AI generated profile photo on her website or
social accounts.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
She looks skinny and pretty.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
But then if you see her out at like a
tea party, town hall event, she looks like the.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Before photo of a weight loss center.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
She's a I don't think and you know, it's like,
you can be fat and ugly and run for office.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I'll still vote for you, but you do.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
But you can't be a liar. That's right away. It's
like you're lying to me about being fat and ugly. Well,
now I don't trust you about anything, just on the
fact that you're fat and ugly. Ted Cruise is fat and.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Ugly and we love him, but he's not obese. I
don't think he's just you know, a little soft, little pud.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Have you seen him lately with the mustache. Well, he's
had a goateee for years now. He grew out the
mustache a little more. It looks Honestly, I think it's
a good look. I think it's a cool I think
he needs the facial hair.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Yet, if you're a Cuban politician, you need to grasp
onto that ride, that Cuban lightning all the way to
the Bongo Party. I guess I don't know what a
Cuban guys do bongo party.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah that makes sat Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Anyway,
do that. Ted cruzsty only.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
A Johnson roses of billion, mister Kenneth and mister Road too,
chub Bell fem feing truth.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Walton and Johnson. No, you gotta tell the story. You
gotta tell the story faster than that. Yeah, this is
gonna take old day. We ain't got that kind of time.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
You can't say, let me tell you about a friend
of mine, and then we all wait while you do
up bass solo. Do get your bass guitar out of here. Okay,
lightning round of soundbites we've been sitting on all morning.
Here's Chuck Schumer in twenty eighteen saying that Trump's proposed
tariffs against China are a great eyeaans rewind it, please
thank you.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
Look, I think the President's doing the right thing. China
has been taking advantage of us for two decades. They're
stealing our intellectual property, which means stealing our good paying jobs.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
I agree with Chuck Schumer in twenty eighteen. I think
you've got Chuck doesn't agree with Chuck though not now.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Mike Pence literally spent a year going around the country
arguing in favor of Trump's tariff policies.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Now he's against. Our president is going to keep fighting
for trade deals that are free and fair and reciprocal
and are a win for Americans in the city and on.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
The far Mike pensid twenty nineteen was right about tariffs
against our foreign countries. All right, here's the Osbourne's telling
you that Donald Trump's the nicest guy they've ever met.
This is Ozzie, Jack, Sharon and Kelly.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
It pains me to actually say this, but every interaction
I've ever had with Donald Trump, he's been nothing but
a gentleman and nice to me. He when I did
the Apprentice with him, he was very supportive of you
both because you were both working on your sobriety, and
(09:45):
he kept saying well done about the pair of you.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
So sorry, mom did the Apprentice for a month?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Of course.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah, oh, he doesn't remember it, if he ever knew
in the first place.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I'm sorry you were on a TV show. If Donald Trump,
All right, here's another one here. This is about a
Texas politician, but he could be anywhere. This is a
Democrat named Senator Roland Gutierrez. Now, if you saw Roland
Gutierrez at the Trader Joe's.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh boy, I'm looking at him on TV there.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
You would think his name was Bob Smith. You would
think this guy's name was Skyler Callum or some white
guy named like that. Here he is talking about how
white people having jobs.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Is a problem that needs to get fixed.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Go ahead, it's only two Latino as you gative directors
in the state of Texas, all was one.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Hundred and thirty five black and round is only four.
That's it?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Are we We're not treating everybody the same one hundred
and twenty white guys have the job, where white women
don't have the job. Black men and black women don't
have the job, Brown women don't have the job. Somebody
decided building and the powers that be these commissions that
these white men were the way we wanted to go.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And that's not racism to you, all right, col Now
do the Houston Rockets and watching this white guy say
this is ridiculous? And could it also possibly be that
the the black and the browns and the women didn't
want that job. Maybe they didn't go out after that job.
Maybe they didn't apply for it or run for it
(11:30):
or fill out the proper form for it. Maybe they
didn't want it.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
He's talking about how they're getting rid of diversity and
equity programs in the state of Taxis.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Well, they're going to force black people into jobs now,
just so we have diversity. Well, mister O, you like,
that's not like way we're hitting. What is because white
people just can't help, even when they think they're helping.
They can't help but force black people to do stuff.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
If white flight is racist, then gentrification can't be racist.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
If gentrification is read kid one hundred and eighty degrees,
which side, there's a full racism circle.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
There's too many white guys working on this construction site.
Do you think this guy right here, rolland Gutierrez has
ever walked into a Chinese buffet, noticed everybody working there
was the same race, and then tried to persecute them
for racism.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I don't think he has.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I'm kind of tired of this idea that white men
being employed is a problem that needs to be fixed white.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
There's too many white guys with a job in here.
I'm sick and tired of it.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I want to see a black lady shovel manure at
a horse farm. Like, what, that seems worse than they
won't do it. I'll force them to Eyeah, that historically
has never been a problem before. Where's my whip?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (12:37):
They love?
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Whim whip crack.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, it is weird that a white man's saying this too,
Like the white guy's like not enough black women on
the construction site.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Okay, easy there, white guy.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
I know your last name is Gutierrez, but you're gonna
benefit from all the same things any other white guy
would benefit from if you walked into it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
WHOA, I'm sure he'll turn all of the benefits down
because he's just that kind of great man that the
rest of us should try to be like. U.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Sure, Yeah, this obscure government position is overwhelming. We won race.
That must be bigotry. Please protect us.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Earlier we were talking about the amount of tax and
the amount of debt we're in and how did it
happen we spent all our money and more. You know
what I noticed? And I know math is racist and
it's also very hard, but I got one of them iPhones,
and that is pretty good math. If you divide the
(13:31):
thirty six trillion dollars that we're currently upside down with
by five hundred and thirty five politicians that run this country.
You'll see exactly where all that money went. Yeah, they're
the reason we're in the debt we're in right now.
Between the fact that we gave a bunch of chump
money to other countries that hate us and still charge
(13:52):
us to do business with them, but they don't think
we ought to charge them. We're just giving away money.
And then the rest of it goes to the five
hundred and thirty five giver or take petitians. And of
course they've got employees, and they got what they call him,
people that go up there and just talk about stuff
for a living. Lobbyist or politicians lobbyist. Yes, that's them.
Sure they got that. So between all the politicians and
(14:12):
the lobbyists, you can immediately see that thirty six trillion
dollars went right in their pocket.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Oh yeah, I went right into the garbage can. Hey,
before we get out of here, here's a funny thing.
Earlier we were playing sound bites of William Shatner. They're
making a hologram William Shatner for after he dies, so
you could still hear from him.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Oh that's another thing. Ozzie's gonna be doing too. So
you see where I'm going with this.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Ozzy Osbourne isn't even dead yet, and Sharon's already a
head of working on his hologram version. I do wonder like,
who's going to interrupt Sharon in the middle of her
rant about being on the Apprentice to ask Sharon, Hey, how.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Do you know Donald Trump? Again? I'm as and I'm
the Prince of Dog and this. Yeah, okay, so we
screamed her name a lot in that reality show.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I feel like we don't need a hologram for that's
got to be the easiest hologram to make.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
He doesn't.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
He's already absolutely incoherent and has no sense of consciousness
or where he is from one minute to the next. Well,
some AI software would be complicated and complex. You would
need to be able to interact with it and have
it understand depth and brevity and nuances and stuff. For
Ozzy Osbourne's hologram to work correctly. It can't understand those things. Hey,
(15:27):
you know what I would do today while we're off
the air. I would download the Walton and Johnson's smartphone
app because it's free.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Yea, I'd already done that. What do you wait?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
No, and I would go to I LOOVEWJ dot com
right now and get some great stuff for spring and
summer coming up.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Gulf of America hoodies.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
And towels, Miami Doge Department of Government Efficiency beach towels,
don't tread on memes, t shirts, Fat jd Vance coffee mugs,
make frying oil tallow again, the Doge Father, mousepads Man.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
That's a lot of stuff. Feel free to take your
time linger at our website if you will. Yeah, John
Wooden Rush, don't forget boys and girls too, eat it
every day. Hey again, you've reached the end of though
Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That means you
listened all the way to the end.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again? No, no, no, there will be a news
show tomorrow. Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or
we're off work. But as always, you could go to
waltonand Johnson dot com and you could find all kinds
of cool stuff there. Our news blog links to our
social media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal lives
are very boring. If you comment on our social media pages,
we might.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Reply, Yeah, chances are we're just sitting around waiting to
hear from you. Yeah, so, what's the big deal. Go
to Walton Johnson dot com today. I'm told there's a store.
Oh yes, we do have a lovely store and you
could buy things there. Walton Johnson dot com. What's not
to love.
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