Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Bombott A, Ben Ring and ding ding Ooh, ladies and gentlemen,
it's Friday. Well it feels like it, doesn't it.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
And you know you've got a couple of days. You
get to do what you want, You get your time off.
But we get some time off too, which means over
the next couple of days, nobody's gonna be here to
tell you which famous people were born on those days.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Never fear, I'll tell you right now. You go through
the whole weekend.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You would do that for us? Will That is awesome?
Nice to you.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
As a matter of fact, We'll start with this morning,
Joss Stone, the singer will turn thirty eight years old.
Jennifer Esposito, fifty two, you release a stands Field. I
used to like that song. I've been all around the
world and I can find my baby. Apparently she found
him and she must have quit singing.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Oh I do I do know that song?
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Fifty nine today? Wow, Peter, Oh that Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
That's definitely what it sounds like.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Musical instrument makes noise like that.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
That would be a high hat bill. Yeah, but it's
probably a drum machine. They're probably it's probably electric electronics.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Pushed the button right that makes the noise for you?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Is this a song about how he was cheating on her?
She just hasn't met him yet.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
He Yeah, I think she probably ain't found the right
baby yet.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
That's all. Well, then this song's about us, you know,
you and me, mister Oh, we're out there looking for
missus right, looking for that baby. Poor guys like us
just can't seem to find the right gal out there.
What a shame me and mister Oh, we just you know,
we're just down on our luck.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
You know, I know I found the right one almost
every night.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, the right one for that night.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Sure, yeah, yeahert Regert remember boone from Animal House. He's
now seventy eight years.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Old, so you're not in college anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
It's also the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. He was in that
one as well. He was.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Joel Gray is now ninety three years old, famous obviously
for as the MC of Cabaret, but he was also
into the fathering business. Jennifer Gray is his daughter, you know,
dirty dancing baby in the corner. Okay, yeah, anyway, Oh,
(02:17):
and Saturday birthdays. Look at these big names, Brooklyn Decker,
Claire Danes will have a birthday tomorrow. Vince Gill, Andy
Garcia will be sixty nine. Nothing, David Letterman.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I can't do it for Andy Garcia. It feels wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Ed O'Neill from Married with Children and Modern Family. He'll
be seventy nine tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Bro, I like it.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
He's cool.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, he's a cool guy man.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
John Kay of Stepping Wolf. He'll be eighty one. Herbie
Hancock eighty five and no longer with us. Tomorrow would
have been the birthdays for Son and Dorty, David Cassidy
of the Partridge Family, Tom Clancy, Tiny Tim big names.
(03:04):
Let it play. You like that? If he gets me
worked out.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
You're not you. You said, two artists in a row,
a white one and a black one. I picked the
white one, and no one. No one's offended by.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
That, oh very offended? Wiki wiki wiki, Well, fear not.
My instrument makes that noise a turntable?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
In a drum machine? I don't knock that off?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Wiki wiki Wiki Sunday lou Bega remember Mumble number five?
Unfortunately I do fifty. I do remember Stroder fifty five.
Max Weinberg will turn seventy four.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Mumble number five.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Ron Pearlman. He was hill boy, he'll be seventy five.
He would not like this show. I can guarantee you that.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
No, he would hate it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
But to be fair, we don't really like him, so
true all kind of like a hill boy there for
a little while, Tilly ruined.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Until you figured out what a douche she was.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
And no longer with us. Al Green not not the
guy who walked out on Trump's speech, the Reverend aw Green,
the superstar soul singer brought us Let's stay together. Actually
he's still with us. He's seventy nine.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Oh he's still alive. Yeah, you just told everybody was dead.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
He's in He's in the section of the no Longer
with Us. But I think it's just a computer thing
where it went to the next page.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Sometimes they put Smokey Robinson on that list. But the
smoke Dog's still alive. Bringing a smoke sure is what
he's known for. This is singing right here.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
This thing is all about, Oh ladies, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know, let's go something. We're about to make babies.
Women ovulate when you hear this song. Someone's getting pregnant
right now just listening to us play this song.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You know, you know they think it was me.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I don't think it was.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Tony Dowe would have his birthday on Sunday, but he's
no longer with us. These are no longer with us people,
Paul Sorvino, Lyle Wagoner, Don Adams, Much Cassidy and Thomas
Jefferson's birthday, all this coming Sunday.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Have you ever read Thomas Jefferson's stuff? It slaps? Dude?
He was good.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You ever read that that thing he wrote up, the
Declaration of Independence?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Dude? I got it framed, read it, I own it,
But no, I've never read it.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Oh yeah, I don't look at it to it. I
like the Bible. Everybody just thinks they know what's in it,
but they've never really read all of it.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Sure you could just make stuff up. No one's gonna know.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Well, we was going to do this day in history.
But that really went long, didn't it.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I don't think so. I think we're still on top.
Oh no, it just seemed long. Yeah it did seem well,
hey fighte me. Yeah, it seems it seemed girthy to me.
But okay, So all that being said, today is National
Cheese fond Do Day, proving once again, every day doesn't
need to be something.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
It's weird. It's also Parkinson's Day. I don't think they mean,
you know, like get in. I think I mean, like,
you know, aware of it, be aware of be aware.
I'm aware of parkinson. I think for people that have
Parkinson's it's kind of hard to forget. I would imagine
try using a pencil to write your name today in history,
proudly brought to you.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
By law Tigers.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You need a law Tiger on your side if you're
a motorcycle rider.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Man, I've heard of that Low Tigers. That's something lawtigers
dot com, I guess. And apparently they have a phone
number two what's that, oh eight hundred law Tigers, and
you just call that up and a woman will talk
dirty to you. It's like a party line or something.
Not so much all right, Today, in eighteen fourteen, Napoleon
abdicates the in is exiled to elbow. So that's the thing.
(06:26):
And today, in eighteen ninety eight, President McKinley asked Congress
dude Clara Warren Spain, because you know how they are
what the Congress stilling? They were like, I yeah, screw
they spit us and Today in nineteen fifty eight. No,
I'm sorry that I feel like I'm playing the wrong
version of this. That's not right. No, that's absolutely not
It's there. It is Today in nineteen fifty eight.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Oh yeah, you see what that is.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Someone wrote another song called Tequila. There's already a song
called tequila. Sorry, George Benson, Dan and Shay. You guys
are not the champs number one hit song on this
day in nineteen fifty eight. And what a good song, dude,
isn't it fun?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Bro?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
This is still this is like one of the first
punk punk songs if you think about it. Today, in
nineteen sixty one, Bob Dylan performs in New York City
for the first time. He opened up for John Lee
Hooker Hooker Hooker, I barely knew her. Today, in nineteen
sixty eight, LBJ signs the Civil Rights Act of nineteen
sixty eight. It wasn't just a clever name. Today, in
(07:23):
nineteen sixty nine, the Beatles recorded get Back Billy Preston
got credit. Yeah, give it up for Billy And Today.
In nineteen seventy four, the Judiciary Committee su poenist President
Dick Nixon for his tapes. Duke yeah, grew up.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I like to look at the state in history for
nineteen eighty three, because that was the year of the birth,
if you will, of the Walton Johnson Show, the greatest
radio show ever as far as we're concerned. I mean,
I think so forty two years ago today, this will
date us a lot. How old the show is up
(07:58):
where we belong. From the movie An Officer and a
Gentleman won the Best Song, Oscar and Meryl Streep got
Best Actress for Sophie's choice. Gandhi be e t for
Best Picture that year. Wow, you could see why. Well, yeah,
he's just Gandhi.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
But if you think about it, Gandhi and Et, I
think kind of the same guy. If you think about it,
I don't.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I shouldn't be thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I mean, think about it.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
But we'll also think about the fact that if Gandhi
didn't win, they might have gotten a bunch of letters
and hate mail and stuff. But if ET loses, not
so much.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, you're not gonna upset the alien community.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
They never write, they never call. I mean maybe now
sometimes they show up, you know, like probea. You know,
he'll billy out in the woods somewhere but hey, I'm
betting that he'll Billy was asking first.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
It's always a hell belly.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
He sees the alien come down, he's like, hey, you
sure got a part.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
He doesn't even know if it is a mouth.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, mouths in space could be in so many different things,
so you don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I always thought it was interesting about having sex with
an alien. There's all these orifices that humans don't even have.
You're assuming, imagine the possibility. Do you have something you're
not using? Yeah, actually that's a fair point, Quickly changing
the subject, A short pep talk by an American Airlines
skate agent is now gone viral on social media because
it's a reminder to be nice to people. This involved
(09:32):
our listeners in Alabama and our listeners in South Carolina
because it was a flight from Birmingham to Charlotte and
apparently it got delayed for almost eight hours. I'm sorry
North Charlotte, North Carolina. Sorry Charleston, South Carolina.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
I feel like where was this plane was going from
one airport to another.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Birmingham to Charlotte apparently got delayed for almost eight hours
last weekend.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Can drive there in that amount of time.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
So she asked people to please be nice to the
flight attendants. They did nothing wrong. Here she has given
her speech and at the end she jokingly called out
of baby crawling on the floor, Well.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
You get on my air crows. Don't get small about
Pretty nice to be on the jam crocket, just like
they have all. I believe it in that this sign
aircraft that's come have those signs on their aircraft is
the sign people just to look at them waiting long
the street or maybe long you do it for me?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Pretty nice to play. You only slow where you go.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Look, go be on that eco. You know you're gonna
get out of the tea. That was the most articulate
woman who ever worked at American Airlines at the Birmingham Airport.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
If it ain't Jasmine Crockett, she's she's doing a pretty
good impression of her.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Is it possible that this is the person Jasmine Crockett
is stealing her personality from?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Could be because five years ago she didn't act and
sound like she sounds today. Uh, what do they call it?
The gettoization?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
LARPing and loss playing its theater is.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
What Jasmine Crockett is displaying I think.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
You're supposed to say this though, mister Kneth, you're supposed
to go. It was a theater to everybody.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Chill Crooks, criminals, you chill. Waltson and Johnson Radio Network
part of the Masters. People heard us talking about some
Gary player who's supposedly like an legend and in golf.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Well, the best part of the Masters is not golf.
Well it is golf, but it's watching the really really
old guys golf like the seniors.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
They're famous, so everybody's got all this immense respect for them.
And they come out and I don't know who they are,
but two or three of them I've just watched a video.
They can barely walk. I mean they're really old. They're like,
you know, in their eighties and nineties. Some of these
guys that are still out there. They're not actually playing obviously,
but they're being honored. So they get to hit off
the the you know, the first shots to open the tournament,
(11:47):
and the crowd goes wild when they just mentioned their
name because they're famous. And then they come out there
on their crippled knees and they can barely reach. They
got to put the tee in the grass, you know,
so they can hit their ball. And the one guy
was watching on who he is, barely reached the ground
to get the tea in there, and then he stood
back up and everybody applauded, Yeah, you did it. It's
(12:12):
actually pretty fun. I know this is all real golf fans,
because I got a lot of hate email because they
didn't know Gary Player was so popular and so famous
that they actually he used his designs on golf courses
all around the world.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Wait, there's a lot of golfers that listen to this show.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Not a lot, I don't think, not anymore. Between you
and me, I think we've run several of them all. Well,
I don't know why it would be me. Golf's my
favorite game, all of them all bunch of degenerates. I
believe I never said that I would know my favorite sport.
I gotta tell you there's one of your favorite sport?
Was hockey last yesterday?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Well, I mean that in the Cincinnati Bearcats. Whatever team
they're sport, they're involved. Hey we yes, we had an
odd conversation off the air earlier. Praline called the show
she was talking to He did and call the show?
She just called? She called Bailly. She was talking during
commercial and she revealed that she had to change the sheets,
and some of us had heard she called earlier this
(13:09):
week and they had the same conversation, which made one
of us ask the question Billy had.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
That you specifically got real nosy about my family life
and what goes on there. To Hatfield double ad.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I've counted this week so far at least three times
Praline claims to have changed the bed sheets in your bedroom.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Well, it's Friday, so we're probably up to at least
day three or four. It's pretty much every day or
every other day kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Now, you and I have traveled together many times for
the radio show. I'm not aware of you having a
what's the word incontinence problem?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
No, no, not a problem, not a bit. So when
they changed the sheets at the hotel every day, if
you unless you tell them not to. So wait a second,
how often you guys change your bed sheets? I don't
change them at all. But she's she's kind of particular,
and she does like freshly laundered, right out of the
dryer sheets. I can't say it's a blamer on that
(14:03):
I liked the warm sheets. You know, when they come
out out of the dryer. Sure, I like that too,
And then she changes them. She puts them on the bed,
like like said, every day every other day. She's just
constantly just work, work, work, and she's always telling me
how tired she is at the end of the day.
I was like, well, maybe you shouldn't I change the
sheets so many times? How about that?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I asked this question how often you change your bed sheets?
Because I assumed I did it the average amount of time,
which would be once a week, every weekend, I changed
my bed sheets. Okay, and I but you know I
shower before, regardless of the amount of activity or lack
of activity in that week. Oh, believe me, that's not
an issue. Well, boy, by the way, what a boring
thing to do doing that in the bedroom. There's so
(14:42):
many more interesting places to do that. Have you ever
heard up against the refrigerator? I mean, you're not putting
a charcuterie board out on that the bar of viewers now,
are you not? Anymore?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
I wouldn't know.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Another interesting place would be the washer dryer, but that's
probably not as interesting for men as it is for women.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You can get that washing machine to get into that
rent cycle where it's out of balance.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, you got that going. That's the way to go.
And then it does a lot of the heavy lifting
for you. But I asked this question on social media,
how often do you change your bed sheets? And James Parker,
who actually developed our smartphone app, said, when I move.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Oh, I'm yay.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Kyle one of our listeners from Katie Texas. Kyle asked,
you guys own sheets? Yeah, let's up with that. Mary
Elizabeth is actually the editor of Legal Insurrection news outlet
I like to look at. She said, I washed my
sheets at least once a week. I've been doing it
more thanks to night sweats due to paramenopause. When is
that they got param You can get two menopauses?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Now, I don't think it's that kind of pair.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Sandra Jane von Misis in Austrian economics enthusiast says two
to three times per week.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
So you're not alone. Apparently I don't change mine at all. Yeah,
that's woman's work. Okay, but I knew you were say that.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Well, he is right. I I liked it.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh, I will tell you this. Sometimes, you know these
mattresses these days, they're so heavy because they're getting so
thick and pillar tops and all the you know. Sometimes
a woman could barely lift a corner a one of
them things up to put them a little tucked him
curvy parts in under the corners.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
The worst part about the Donald Trump administration is that
the woman that used to change my bed sheets for
me doesn't respond to the text or phone calls. I
don't know where she went or what happened to her. Really, yeah,
I was like, what happened to could Swale? I loved
could Swale.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
She did a good job.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
She was a sweet woman. The price was right. She'd
come over for a hundred bucks and a bottle of
water or swell, nice work. Can't he Wait? What do
you think I'm talking about getting up in the sheets
cleaning my house? Oh? Did you think I meant something else?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I heard you say something about a woman for a
hundred dollars get up in your sheets.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
One hundred dollars plus tapage changed them. Yeah, and she
can drink anything she wants in the freight while she's there.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I let her at Lacroix Spring with sparkling water, whatever
you want, apple juice, and sure if I got it. Really,
usually I don't have that though usually it's kombucha. Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I don't like to say that.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I like to keep a bottle of kombucha around because
it impresses women, but I don't drink it. It's just
been sitting in there for months at this point.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, I'm sure it's fine if.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You open it up. It smells like wine. Is that
what it's supposed to smell like? No, it's and it
fizzes too, It's like fizzy wine.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Ye.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Sure, it's like a fizzy vinegar water.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
You should drink it, though.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I used it one time to clean my countertops and
it stained the counter and then I thought, why would
I want to put that in my bladder. That can't
be good for you. Plus, with a name like kombucha,
doesn't it sound like it's some kind of trick from
a foreign country.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, like one of them Japanese sexact. I don't think
you trust.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
The sounds like someone in South Asia is trying to
sneak into my bladder and poison me.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
So what what were we talking about before we got
off into your apartment.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I didn't even know we were on the air. Is
this this is what we've been back for a little? Wow?
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Now, Saturday Night Live. If this isn't a repeat, it
doesn't say it is uh bragging about the fact John
ham is your host and Lizzo the musical guest.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
That would be weird, because weird. She could probably eat him.
They did a promo for it, and I.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Did she get all skinny? Oh? Man, No, Lizzo lost weight,
but she didn't get skinny.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
No, no, no, she's still obese. She's just not morbidly
morbidly obese anymore. That's weird. Wanted to do that.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
That was probably for the best. Hi, I'm John Hamm
and I'll be hosting SNL this week with musical guest Lizzo,
John Owen, lizz Out Ellen.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
This is awkward. We haven't seen each other since we
all well you know, oh I know, I've lost the threat.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Played in a Fortnite tournament.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
How could you forget?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Oh yeah, I remember now I thought we were talking
about when we all hooked up. Oh yeah, and I
helped awkward.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Well, they don't have good writing anymore.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
They have, they have good stars, good hosts usually, but
the writing it's really more miss than hit these days.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Man. That gives me the perfect segue to talk about
something I read in uh, what is this news outlet
called There's the Rap? The Rap is a liberal Hollywood
news outlet that published an article the other day saying
how the rise of Trump has given way to a
new generation of anti woke comedians. They said, suddenly there's
all these comics like Theo Vaughn and Shane Gillis and
(19:26):
Tony Hinchcliff, and they feel very comfortable making fun of
blacks and gaze and trans and and they're anti woke.
And I have there's another word for anti woke comedy.
Do you know what it is?
Speaker 1 (19:37):
I used to know it comedy. It's just oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
And there is no word for woke comedy. Do you
know why? Because they know such thing as woke comedy?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Oh, you can't. You can't tell jokes about people. You
can't hurt people's feelings, insult them or anything. Anti woke
comedians are real comedians. They tell a joke, the audience laughs,
maybe the audience even goes oh, because it sounds you
shouldn't say it, but then they do. Whereas there's some
comedians that want you to go ooh. I mean, you know,
(20:07):
they're dark and they just they want to disturb you,
and that's their act.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
But then the woke comedians who aren't comedians at all,
people like Stephen Colbert for example, Jimmy Kimmel, John Stewart,
they don't tell jokes, they're just making political points, and
then the audience will applaud.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Right, and I'm not sure why.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Yeah, and Donald Trump's evil. If every joke you tell
gets an applause from the audience and not laughter, you're
not doing comedy. No, you're giving a speech that sucks,
that reminds me. A week from today, we're going to
be at the Southport Hall in New Orleans, Jesse Peyton,
Chad Prather, yours truly. It's called the Right Side of
(20:47):
Comedy the Gulf of America Tour. And then the following
night we're going to be in a Hattiesburg. So get
your tickets now.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Because if you don't get thrown in jail Friday night
in New Orleans, no, No, you better act right.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I'll just tell them, I know, Billy Hatfield.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, that's not gonna help.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
How dare you?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Walton and Johnson
Bombott A, Ben Ring and ding ding Ooh, ladies and gentlemen,
it's Friday. Well it feels like it, doesn't it.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
And you know you've got a couple of days. You
get to do what you want, You get your time off.
But we get some time off too, which means over
the next couple of days, nobody's gonna be here to
tell you which famous people were born on those days.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Never fear, I'll tell you right now. You go through
the whole weekend.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You would do that for us? Will That is awesome?
Nice to you.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
As a matter of fact, We'll start with this morning,
Joss Stone, the singer will turn thirty eight years old.
Jennifer Esposito, fifty two, you release a stands Field. I
used to like that song. I've been all around the
world and I can find my baby. Apparently she found
him and she must have quit singing.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Oh I do I do know that song?
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Fifty nine today? Wow, Peter, Oh that Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
That's definitely what it sounds like.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Musical instrument makes noise like that.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
That would be a high hat bill. Yeah, but it's
probably a drum machine. They're probably it's probably electric electronics.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Pushed the button right that makes the noise for you?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Is this a song about how he was cheating on her?
She just hasn't met him yet.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
He Yeah, I think she probably ain't found the right
baby yet.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
That's all. Well, then this song's about us, you know,
you and me, mister Oh, we're out there looking for
missus right, looking for that baby. Poor guys like us
just can't seem to find the right gal out there.
What a shame me and mister Oh, we just you know,
we're just down on our luck.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
You know, I know I found the right one almost
every night.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, the right one for that night.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Sure, yeah, yeahert Regert remember boone from Animal House. He's
now seventy eight years.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Old, so you're not in college anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
It's also the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. He was in that
one as well. He was.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Joel Gray is now ninety three years old, famous obviously
for as the MC of Cabaret, but he was also
into the fathering business. Jennifer Gray is his daughter, you know,
dirty dancing baby in the corner. Okay, yeah, anyway, Oh,
(02:17):
and Saturday birthdays. Look at these big names, Brooklyn Decker,
Claire Danes will have a birthday tomorrow. Vince Gill, Andy
Garcia will be sixty nine. Nothing, David Letterman.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I can't do it for Andy Garcia. It feels wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Ed O'Neill from Married with Children and Modern Family. He'll
be seventy nine tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Bro, I like it.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
He's cool.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah, he's a cool guy man.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
John Kay of Stepping Wolf. He'll be eighty one. Herbie
Hancock eighty five and no longer with us. Tomorrow would
have been the birthdays for Son and Dorty, David Cassidy
of the Partridge Family, Tom Clancy, Tiny Tim big names.
(03:04):
Let it play. You like that? If he gets me
worked out.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
You're not you. You said, two artists in a row,
a white one and a black one. I picked the
white one, and no one. No one's offended by.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
That, oh very offended? Wiki wiki wiki, Well, fear not.
My instrument makes that noise a turntable?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
In a drum machine? I don't knock that off?
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Wiki wiki Wiki Sunday lou Bega remember Mumble number five?
Unfortunately I do fifty. I do remember Stroder fifty five.
Max Weinberg will turn seventy four.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Mumble number five.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Ron Pearlman. He was hill boy, he'll be seventy five.
He would not like this show. I can guarantee you that.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
No, he would hate it.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
But to be fair, we don't really like him, so
true all kind of like a hill boy there for
a little while, Tilly ruined.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Until you figured out what a douche she was.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
And no longer with us. Al Green not not the
guy who walked out on Trump's speech, the Reverend aw Green,
the superstar soul singer brought us Let's stay together. Actually
he's still with us. He's seventy nine.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Oh he's still alive. Yeah, you just told everybody was dead.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
He's in He's in the section of the no Longer
with Us. But I think it's just a computer thing
where it went to the next page.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Sometimes they put Smokey Robinson on that list. But the
smoke Dog's still alive. Bringing a smoke sure is what
he's known for. This is singing right here.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
This thing is all about, Oh ladies, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You know, let's go something. We're about to make babies.
Women ovulate when you hear this song. Someone's getting pregnant
right now just listening to us play this song.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
You know, you know they think it was me.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I don't think it was.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Tony Dowe would have his birthday on Sunday, but he's
no longer with us. These are no longer with us people,
Paul Sorvino, Lyle Wagoner, Don Adams, Much Cassidy and Thomas
Jefferson's birthday, all this coming Sunday.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Have you ever read Thomas Jefferson's stuff? It slaps? Dude?
He was good.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You ever read that that thing he wrote up, the
Declaration of Independence?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Dude? I got it framed, read it, I own it,
But no, I've never read it.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Oh yeah, I don't look at it to it. I
like the Bible. Everybody just thinks they know what's in it,
but they've never really read all of it.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Sure you could just make stuff up. No one's gonna know.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Well, we was going to do this day in history.
But that really went long, didn't it.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
No?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I don't think so. I think we're still on top.
Oh no, it just seemed long. Yeah it did seem well,
hey fighte me. Yeah, it seems it seemed girthy to me.
But okay, So all that being said, today is National
Cheese fond Do Day, proving once again, every day doesn't
need to be something.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
It's weird. It's also Parkinson's Day. I don't think they mean,
you know, like get in. I think I mean, like,
you know, aware of it, be aware of be aware.
I'm aware of parkinson. I think for people that have
Parkinson's it's kind of hard to forget. I would imagine
try using a pencil to write your name today in history,
proudly brought to you.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
By law Tigers.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You need a law Tiger on your side if you're
a motorcycle rider.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Man, I've heard of that Low Tigers. That's something lawtigers
dot com, I guess. And apparently they have a phone
number two what's that, oh eight hundred law Tigers, and
you just call that up and a woman will talk
dirty to you. It's like a party line or something.
Not so much all right, Today, in eighteen fourteen, Napoleon
abdicates the in is exiled to elbow. So that's the thing.
(06:26):
And today, in eighteen ninety eight, President McKinley asked Congress
dude Clara Warren Spain, because you know how they are
what the Congress stilling? They were like, I yeah, screw
they spit us and Today in nineteen fifty eight. No,
I'm sorry that I feel like I'm playing the wrong
version of this. That's not right. No, that's absolutely not
It's there. It is Today in nineteen fifty eight.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Oh yeah, you see what that is.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Someone wrote another song called Tequila. There's already a song
called tequila. Sorry, George Benson, Dan and Shay. You guys
are not the champs number one hit song on this
day in nineteen fifty eight. And what a good song, dude,
isn't it fun?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Bro?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
This is still this is like one of the first
punk punk songs if you think about it. Today, in
nineteen sixty one, Bob Dylan performs in New York City
for the first time. He opened up for John Lee
Hooker Hooker Hooker, I barely knew her. Today, in nineteen
sixty eight, LBJ signs the Civil Rights Act of nineteen
sixty eight. It wasn't just a clever name. Today, in
(07:23):
nineteen sixty nine, the Beatles recorded get Back Billy Preston
got credit. Yeah, give it up for Billy And Today.
In nineteen seventy four, the Judiciary Committee su poenist President
Dick Nixon for his tapes. Duke yeah, grew up.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I like to look at the state in history for
nineteen eighty three, because that was the year of the birth,
if you will, of the Walton Johnson Show, the greatest
radio show ever as far as we're concerned. I mean,
I think so forty two years ago today, this will
date us a lot. How old the show is up
(07:58):
where we belong. From the movie An Officer and a
Gentleman won the Best Song, Oscar and Meryl Streep got
Best Actress for Sophie's choice. Gandhi be e t for
Best Picture that year. Wow, you could see why. Well, yeah,
he's just Gandhi.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
But if you think about it, Gandhi and Et, I
think kind of the same guy. If you think about it,
I don't.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I shouldn't be thinking about it.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I mean, think about it.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
But we'll also think about the fact that if Gandhi
didn't win, they might have gotten a bunch of letters
and hate mail and stuff. But if ET loses, not
so much.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
Yeah, you're not gonna upset the alien community.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
They never write, they never call. I mean maybe now
sometimes they show up, you know, like probea. You know,
he'll billy out in the woods somewhere but hey, I'm
betting that he'll Billy was asking first.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
It's always a hell belly.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
He sees the alien come down, he's like, hey, you
sure got a part.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
He doesn't even know if it is a mouth.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, mouths in space could be in so many different things,
so you don't want to know.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah, that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I always thought it was interesting about having sex with
an alien. There's all these orifices that humans don't even have.
You're assuming, imagine the possibility. Do you have something you're
not using? Yeah, actually that's a fair point, Quickly changing
the subject, A short pep talk by an American Airlines
skate agent is now gone viral on social media because
it's a reminder to be nice to people. This involved
(09:32):
our listeners in Alabama and our listeners in South Carolina
because it was a flight from Birmingham to Charlotte and
apparently it got delayed for almost eight hours. I'm sorry
North Charlotte, North Carolina. Sorry Charleston, South Carolina.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
I feel like where was this plane was going from
one airport to another.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Birmingham to Charlotte apparently got delayed for almost eight hours
last weekend.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Can drive there in that amount of time.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
So she asked people to please be nice to the
flight attendants. They did nothing wrong. Here she has given
her speech and at the end she jokingly called out
of baby crawling on the floor, Well.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
You get on my air crows. Don't get small about
Pretty nice to be on the jam crocket, just like
they have all. I believe it in that this sign
aircraft that's come have those signs on their aircraft is
the sign people just to look at them waiting long
the street or maybe long you do it for me?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Pretty nice to play. You only slow where you go.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Look, go be on that eco. You know you're gonna
get out of the tea. That was the most articulate
woman who ever worked at American Airlines at the Birmingham Airport.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
If it ain't Jasmine Crockett, she's she's doing a pretty
good impression of her.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Is it possible that this is the person Jasmine Crockett
is stealing her personality from?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Could be because five years ago she didn't act and
sound like she sounds today. Uh, what do they call it?
The gettoization?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
LARPing and loss playing its theater is.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
What Jasmine Crockett is displaying I think.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
You're supposed to say this though, mister Kneth, you're supposed
to go. It was a theater to everybody.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Chill Crooks, criminals, you chill. Waltson and Johnson Radio Network
part of the Masters. People heard us talking about some
Gary player who's supposedly like an legend and in golf.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Well, the best part of the Masters is not golf.
Well it is golf, but it's watching the really really
old guys golf like the seniors.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
They're famous, so everybody's got all this immense respect for them.
And they come out and I don't know who they are,
but two or three of them I've just watched a video.
They can barely walk. I mean they're really old. They're like,
you know, in their eighties and nineties. Some of these
guys that are still out there. They're not actually playing obviously,
but they're being honored. So they get to hit off
the the you know, the first shots to open the tournament,
(11:47):
and the crowd goes wild when they just mentioned their
name because they're famous. And then they come out there
on their crippled knees and they can barely reach. They
got to put the tee in the grass, you know,
so they can hit their ball. And the one guy
was watching on who he is, barely reached the ground
to get the tea in there, and then he stood
back up and everybody applauded, Yeah, you did it. It's
(12:12):
actually pretty fun. I know this is all real golf fans,
because I got a lot of hate email because they
didn't know Gary Player was so popular and so famous
that they actually he used his designs on golf courses
all around the world.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Wait, there's a lot of golfers that listen to this show.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Not a lot, I don't think, not anymore. Between you
and me, I think we've run several of them all. Well,
I don't know why it would be me. Golf's my
favorite game, all of them all bunch of degenerates. I
believe I never said that I would know my favorite sport.
I gotta tell you there's one of your favorite sport?
Was hockey last yesterday?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Well, I mean that in the Cincinnati Bearcats. Whatever team
they're sport, they're involved. Hey we yes, we had an
odd conversation off the air earlier. Praline called the show
she was talking to He did and call the show?
She just called? She called Bailly. She was talking during
commercial and she revealed that she had to change the sheets,
and some of us had heard she called earlier this
(13:09):
week and they had the same conversation, which made one
of us ask the question Billy had.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
That you specifically got real nosy about my family life
and what goes on there. To Hatfield double ad.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I've counted this week so far at least three times
Praline claims to have changed the bed sheets in your bedroom.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Well, it's Friday, so we're probably up to at least
day three or four. It's pretty much every day or
every other day kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Now, you and I have traveled together many times for
the radio show. I'm not aware of you having a
what's the word incontinence problem?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
No, no, not a problem, not a bit. So when
they changed the sheets at the hotel every day, if
you unless you tell them not to. So wait a second,
how often you guys change your bed sheets? I don't
change them at all. But she's she's kind of particular,
and she does like freshly laundered, right out of the
dryer sheets. I can't say it's a blamer on that
(14:03):
I liked the warm sheets. You know, when they come
out out of the dryer. Sure, I like that too,
And then she changes them. She puts them on the bed,
like like said, every day every other day. She's just
constantly just work, work, work, and she's always telling me
how tired she is at the end of the day.
I was like, well, maybe you shouldn't I change the
sheets so many times? How about that?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
I asked this question how often you change your bed sheets?
Because I assumed I did it the average amount of time,
which would be once a week, every weekend, I changed
my bed sheets. Okay, and I but you know I
shower before, regardless of the amount of activity or lack
of activity in that week. Oh, believe me, that's not
an issue. Well, boy, by the way, what a boring
thing to do doing that in the bedroom. There's so
(14:42):
many more interesting places to do that. Have you ever
heard up against the refrigerator? I mean, you're not putting
a charcuterie board out on that the bar of viewers now,
are you not? Anymore?
Speaker 3 (14:53):
No?
Speaker 1 (14:53):
I wouldn't know.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Another interesting place would be the washer dryer, but that's
probably not as interesting for men as it is for women.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
You can get that washing machine to get into that
rent cycle where it's out of balance.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Yeah, you got that going. That's the way to go.
And then it does a lot of the heavy lifting
for you. But I asked this question on social media,
how often do you change your bed sheets? And James Parker,
who actually developed our smartphone app, said, when I move.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Oh, I'm yay.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Kyle one of our listeners from Katie Texas. Kyle asked,
you guys own sheets? Yeah, let's up with that. Mary
Elizabeth is actually the editor of Legal Insurrection news outlet
I like to look at. She said, I washed my
sheets at least once a week. I've been doing it
more thanks to night sweats due to paramenopause. When is
that they got param You can get two menopauses?
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Now, I don't think it's that kind of pair.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Sandra Jane von Misis in Austrian economics enthusiast says two
to three times per week.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
So you're not alone. Apparently I don't change mine at all. Yeah,
that's woman's work. Okay, but I knew you were say that.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Well, he is right. I I liked it.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh, I will tell you this. Sometimes, you know these
mattresses these days, they're so heavy because they're getting so
thick and pillar tops and all the you know. Sometimes
a woman could barely lift a corner a one of
them things up to put them a little tucked him
curvy parts in under the corners.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
The worst part about the Donald Trump administration is that
the woman that used to change my bed sheets for
me doesn't respond to the text or phone calls. I
don't know where she went or what happened to her. Really, yeah,
I was like, what happened to could Swale? I loved
could Swale.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
She did a good job.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
She was a sweet woman. The price was right. She'd
come over for a hundred bucks and a bottle of
water or swell, nice work. Can't he Wait? What do
you think I'm talking about getting up in the sheets
cleaning my house? Oh? Did you think I meant something else?
Speaker 1 (16:51):
I heard you say something about a woman for a
hundred dollars get up in your sheets.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
One hundred dollars plus tapage changed them. Yeah, and she
can drink anything she wants in the freight while she's there.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I let her at Lacroix Spring with sparkling water, whatever
you want, apple juice, and sure if I got it. Really,
usually I don't have that though usually it's kombucha. Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
I don't like to say that.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I like to keep a bottle of kombucha around because
it impresses women, but I don't drink it. It's just
been sitting in there for months at this point.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, I'm sure it's fine if.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
You open it up. It smells like wine. Is that
what it's supposed to smell like? No, it's and it
fizzes too, It's like fizzy wine.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
Ye.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Sure, it's like a fizzy vinegar water.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
You should drink it, though.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
I used it one time to clean my countertops and
it stained the counter and then I thought, why would
I want to put that in my bladder. That can't
be good for you. Plus, with a name like kombucha,
doesn't it sound like it's some kind of trick from
a foreign country.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah, like one of them Japanese sexact. I don't think
you trust.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
The sounds like someone in South Asia is trying to
sneak into my bladder and poison me.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
So what what were we talking about before we got
off into your apartment.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
I didn't even know we were on the air. Is
this this is what we've been back for a little? Wow?
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Now, Saturday Night Live. If this isn't a repeat, it
doesn't say it is uh bragging about the fact John
ham is your host and Lizzo the musical guest.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
That would be weird, because weird. She could probably eat him.
They did a promo for it, and I.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Did she get all skinny? Oh? Man, No, Lizzo lost weight,
but she didn't get skinny.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
No, no, no, she's still obese. She's just not morbidly
morbidly obese anymore. That's weird. Wanted to do that.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
That was probably for the best. Hi, I'm John Hamm
and I'll be hosting SNL this week with musical guest Lizzo,
John Owen, lizz Out Ellen.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
This is awkward. We haven't seen each other since we
all well you know, oh I know, I've lost the threat.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Played in a Fortnite tournament.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
How could you forget?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Oh yeah, I remember now I thought we were talking
about when we all hooked up. Oh yeah, and I
helped awkward.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Well, they don't have good writing anymore.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
They have, they have good stars, good hosts usually, but
the writing it's really more miss than hit these days.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Man. That gives me the perfect segue to talk about
something I read in uh, what is this news outlet
called There's the Rap? The Rap is a liberal Hollywood
news outlet that published an article the other day saying
how the rise of Trump has given way to a
new generation of anti woke comedians. They said, suddenly there's
all these comics like Theo Vaughn and Shane Gillis and
(19:26):
Tony Hinchcliff, and they feel very comfortable making fun of
blacks and gaze and trans and and they're anti woke.
And I have there's another word for anti woke comedy.
Do you know what it is?
Speaker 1 (19:37):
I used to know it comedy. It's just oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
And there is no word for woke comedy. Do you
know why? Because they know such thing as woke comedy?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Oh, you can't. You can't tell jokes about people. You
can't hurt people's feelings, insult them or anything. Anti woke
comedians are real comedians. They tell a joke, the audience laughs,
maybe the audience even goes oh, because it sounds you
shouldn't say it, but then they do. Whereas there's some
comedians that want you to go ooh. I mean, you know,
(20:07):
they're dark and they just they want to disturb you,
and that's their act.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
But then the woke comedians who aren't comedians at all,
people like Stephen Colbert for example, Jimmy Kimmel, John Stewart,
they don't tell jokes, they're just making political points, and
then the audience will applaud.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Right, and I'm not sure why.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Yeah, and Donald Trump's evil. If every joke you tell
gets an applause from the audience and not laughter, you're
not doing comedy. No, you're giving a speech that sucks,
that reminds me. A week from today, we're going to
be at the Southport Hall in New Orleans, Jesse Peyton,
Chad Prather, yours truly. It's called the Right Side of
(20:47):
Comedy the Gulf of America Tour. And then the following
night we're going to be in a Hattiesburg. So get
your tickets now.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Because if you don't get thrown in jail Friday night
in New Orleans, no, No, you better act right.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
I'll just tell them, I know, Billy Hatfield.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah, that's not gonna help.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
How dare you?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Walton and Johnson
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