Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I have it on good authority now that Brian Adams
did not acquire his first guitar at a five and dime.
It was from a regular music shop and it wasn't
even nineteen sixty nine when he did it.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
It wasn't.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
The guy's just nothing but a big, fat faced liar,
and this whole song it's just made up for money.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Next, you're gonna tell me his love doesn't cut like
a knife, it cuts like a fork.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Yes, it's true.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Yeah, Next you're gonna tell me his love doesn't come
straight from the heart, it comes straight from the tip
of his brain.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
What I can't think. They're all very hurtful moments. I
can't think of any other Brian Adams songs that I
just want to do.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Straighten that out after all that five and dime chat
that we had earlier, and it was all for naught.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Look when things go for naught or nipping it in
the butt, I don't like that either.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Oh you gotta nip it sometimes you just gotta nip it.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Or why was that something about the woodpile? Never mind.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
Yeah, we're gonna pass that one by because we want
to celebrate real celebrities who are having birthdays today like Nicholson.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Hello, she's just Jack Nicholson's daughter, that's all. But what
does she look like?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
She also played a rival surfer in a movie, so
she's a movie star. According to Hollywood, she was in
Soul Surfer. About that girl Bethany she lost her Well,
this girl rival surfer, but she's not the one that
cut her arm off. No.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Also Claire Foy. It's a weird last name. Foi. It's
kind of like Poi. She was Queen.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Elizabeth in The Crown in the early on part. She's
forty one. Gina Carano maybe you've heard of her. She
was in The Mandalorian. She's forty three today.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
I like Gina. She seems cool.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Rico swabe hone on sixty.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Uh Taco Grande, remember they read it Gernardo.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Is his real name? Sixty.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Martin Lawrence is also sixty, as is John Cryer, who
was Alan Harper on Two and a half Men. But
of course Ducky pretty in Pink a long time ago.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It does.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Ellen Barkins seventy one now. She was in a movie
called The Big Easy Shah. They ever said that mo
we would share, everybody would share. Bill Belichick is seventy three.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's'm my boy, dude, Bill Belichick, big Bee.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Now his girlfriend hasn't had her birthday yet. She's twenty four,
so she was, you know, one third of his age.
But now that his age has changed, it messes up
the math.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Here's what I wonder. How many pells does that guy
need all of them for her? Yeah? Kareem abadul Jabbar
is seventy eight today, hate Trump? Really?
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Bobby Vinton, the guy that's saying blue Ellad is ninety
years old and now no longer with us. Pope Emeritus
Benedict the sixteenth born on this date, But so was Selena.
I think she's kind of the bigger name there. Remember Selena?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
What the are you? Also?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Dusty Springfield, Jerry Rafferty, Henry Mancini, Charlie Chaplin.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Oh and Wilbur Wright, the guy that taught us all
how to fly?
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Or him or his brother one maybe both? He was
the older brother. He was born on the state eighteen
sixty seven. Okay, what's that look for nothing? I'm just
learning from you. I'm it's your time to shine. I'm
letting you do your thing. Well I didn't do it,
but I can tell.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
I mean, look, as you know, I'm not one of
those Catholics that's not real into the pope. It's a
political leader. In my opinion, it's more about the religion
than the organization for me. But to suggest that some
Tejano singer who had a couple of hits back in
the nineties is somehow more important than the pope.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
It Well, now you like it when Donald Trump says
things just to annoy the media, yeah, and not when
I do it to me. Yeah, well, look this is different,
that's oh, it's different.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah. The media isn't sacred God is. You know that
relation is more about you than I think than it
is about going.
Speaker 5 (04:04):
You know.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
The reason it doesn't bother me because when I get
to cut the line in purgatory and go right into
heaven and you're.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Buddy, and then I'll be up there high five and you.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah, unless you go first? Yeah, and then where's one
of us?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You thinks you are going to pass quickish? I mean,
who's who's going to be the first to go? But
you know John's already gone. I always assume I'll probably
die next.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Oh I thought it would be me.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I don't know, I think I think it would be
him too, mister Kenneff. Yeah, why no, they well, you know,
well they carried Magic Johnson. I think he'll be okay,
you know.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
You never know.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Yeah, but then there's the you know, the other ones.
There's there's always something else coming along. Don't it seem
like they got rid of monkey pox.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
They're coming up with new venereal diseases, and they're coming
up with new insects still, but.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
They're also coming up with new antibiotics, which I'll scare
the hell out.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Of us, honestly. Yeah, I'd rather get vd E than.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Then there's a new antibiotic now because gon a rhea
has gotten to be incurable, that's crazy, and so now
they have to come up with some new cure for GONERIEA.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
My buddy who's a doctor, tells me that he sees
it all the time. He's like a constantly people coming
into the hospital.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Oh oh with other people. No, yeah, but you like,
you know, every time he pees.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Well, but we're buddies and we're and we're both single guys.
So that's a topic of conversation you wry about. Yeah,
that's how it comes up. And he happens to work
in healthcare. And I asked him, you know, why, why
what do you attest that to? And this is what
he told me. And this kind of blew my mind.
So the people have already there's two groups of people
that don't think that they can get hurt. One group
of people is like young, stupid people that party too much.
(05:30):
The other group of people is people that are recently
divorced and I, you know, and he's like, they believe
that because they were in a monogamous relationship for so
long and their socioeconomic status has improved. Now they're single,
and they think, I'll never get anything. But then you
look at where is the place in Florida with the
highest per capita of VD.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
It's that old people camp. It's the old people camp. Yeah,
the village is there's one other group of people that
don't worry about it. Who's that the ones that has
already got it?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah, that's probably You can just go crazy, go book
wild if you need to.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
No, don't go buck wild. People use protection. The official
position of The Walton Johnson Show has used protection.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
It looks like a bad time to wish Harry Connick
Junior a happy anniversary.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
But it is it's on National Eggs Benedict Day. Yeah,
that's why we had an egg Benedict Klapti this morning.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
We had egg Benedict Colacchi's on National egg But it's
also good to you, wasn't It's also National Banana Day, okay, and.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
It's for potaxium, you know. And now Today in History
is proudly brought to you by oh.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah, Low Tigers to help us mention Harry Connick Junior's
ann firsary. Low Tiger's easy to get in touch with
the website easy, you know, lowtiger dot com.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Why would we be celebrating Harry Connick Junior's anniversary.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
That happened on this day in nineteen ninety four, this
called this day in History. He got married married Victoria's
Secrets model Jill Goodacre, who you know, was not a
big fan of our show.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
When we all hung out together, I was wondering why
this was on the list. She kind of stiffed us
a little bit, she did she No, we didn't stiff her.
What exactly, uh you know happened Marti gross party.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
You know, before the parade, everybody, all the VIPs are
in the back room with the velvet ropes, and we
were included, but Hollywood sticks with Hollywood, and Jill was
there with some of her friends from Hollywood and it
was Harry's parade, and you know, so she felt like
she was like queen to the ball. And when we
(07:23):
tried to, you know, just come over, say oh hey, hi,
we're back here too. We're part of the same entourage
as you are. Yo, Like somebody's putting putting the cross
up in front of a vampire.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Stay away, stay back, don't talk to us. We're better
than you.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I always thought Harry Connock Senior was cooler anyway, but
his did he stick with that woman?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Did their marriage make it?
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Are they still in madly in love Senior or Junior
with the woman that's not there?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
No, because it's their anniversary today, so.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
They're still married. Okay, Well, that's what I was trying
to figure out.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
That's why you don't wish people happy anniversary if they're
not together.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Almost as important as Harry Connick Junior's anniversary today. In
eighteen sixty two, slavery was abolished in the district of Columbia.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Eh Selena Pope kind of the same thing there.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I'm told a lot of Russian pilates instructors are listening
to the show lately, so I'm trying to include some
Russian stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
We've been into pilate crowd now Russian plates. So today
in ninetiest kind or the hardest or what I honestly, I.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Always saw pilates and yoga were the same thing. I
just figured.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
I just learned that apparently plates involves the equipment urst.
Did you know that, dude, I know it.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I didn't know that. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Well, today, in nineteen seventeen, Lennon returns to Russia to
start the Bolshevik Revolution.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
That's even before the Beatles. Yeah, it was way before
the Beatles.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
Today, in nineteen twenty two, Annie Oakley, it's one hundred
Clay targets in a row.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
That was a record at the time.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Right today in nineteen twenty Today, in nineteen twenty nine,
the Cleveland Indians are the first I'm sorry, the baseball
team from Cleveland is the first MLB team to have
numbers on their jerseys. If you enjoyed the grape stomping
episode of I Love Lucy, it happened today in nineteen
fifty six.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Everybody loved it. Today in nineteen sixty.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Three, MLK Junior writes his letter from a Birmingham jail,
and I think all of our listeners in Alabama had
to memorize.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
That letter part of a public school project. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Today, in nineteen seventy two, two giant pandas arrived in
the US from China.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
That calls a Nixon. Why can't we get the pandas
to bone, isn't it? It's hard to know. It's hard
to get them to want to have sex with each other?
Can they not find it? Are they just not interested?
That would explain a lot. Today.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
In two thousand and seven, mass shooting at Virginia tech
Ooh that was not good. Kills thirty two people. I
always thought it was so weird what they were listening to.
It was a collective soul song. They who well that
not they the shooter a shooter as he walked around
killing people. This is the cheerful song he had in
his headphones. This is the kind of music you hear
(09:43):
when you're in the lobby of a hotel, like not
even a nice like a mid priced hotel. This is
the kind of music you hear like on a soccer
mom radio station.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
It's not a bad song.
Speaker 3 (09:53):
Actually, my buddy Johnny Rabb has been the drummer for
this band for the last ten years.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
But now it's calls on people who want to kill people.
It must be weird to perform it live. But also
it's one of their biggest hits. Well, so what you
have to uh?
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Anyway, while we enjoy this murderer music today. In twenty eighteen,
Kendrick Lamar wins a Pulletzer Prize. He was the first
rapper to ever win a Pulitzer. Yeah, Kendrick Lamar got
a Pulletry Prize.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yeah. Isn't he coming here next week? I'll be in
Houston next a week from today, I think, Yeah, anybody
got tickets? Uh no, no, you can't get You know
who's gonna be living, who's gonna be winning?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah, says I like her. Oh you go step back,
you go to union, getting in line for that.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
She has a popular song called I Just Killed My
Axe and I just want to make the point here.
I think that's a terrible name for a song.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Besides, if you go wist, she will break this white
boy in half and then write a song about it.
What you don't seem to understand is I'm not trapped
in here with you. You're trapped in here with me.
Stay tuned for more, Waltman Johnson. You had to know
(11:01):
it's coming at some point.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Left wingers have targeted everything else at this point to
soothe their deranged ideology, and it was just a matter
of time before man's best friend ended up in the.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Crosshairs Man's best friend. Yeah, tacos, no dogs, Bill yet?
Oh yeah, I like dog too. I like tacos. Well
that's not you know, the same thing.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
It turns out, after destroying all your childhood memories, all
your favorite things you grew up with, now the leftists
are coming after your.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Dog Bill yet. Well, I can't have monogus. Listen to this.
This was just published here in Mother Jones. Dogs have
extensive and multifarious environmental impacts, disturbing wildlife, polluting waterways, contributing
to carbon emissions.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Are you telling me that the environmentalists are saying animals
are bad for nature?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Isn't it great and animals are bad for the planet.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Well, they're gonna get rid of all the animals because
obviously they're damaging the earth.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
That was my first thought.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
But the way they're making it sound is like, well,
you're breeding to any of them, and you're cross breeding
and you're making weird new species.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You know, if we wouldn't taken care of how many
the planet would be completely overrun if it wasn't for
Bob Barker on the price is right telling you just
paying new to your pet. Honestly, we've been doing that
for forty years and there's still more dogs and cats
than we need. I can't think of They're in shelters everywhere.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
I can't think of a reason not to put Bob
Barker's face on the Mount Rushmore up there. You got
to do it, absolutely, yeah. An Australian review of existing
studies has argued that quote the environment impact of owning
a dog is far greater, more insiduous, and more concerning
than generally recognized sus Of course the Australians are behind
this well. Naturally, they've run out of people to beat
(12:42):
up and throw it in tournament camps for not wearing.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
COVID masks, right, they gotta find something else to do.
They've been arresting people for memes. All the meme guys,
everyone with a spicy memes in jail. Now now they're
coming for your dog. None of this is surprising, nop.
What you need to understand about Rabin, environmentalism and liberalism
as a whole.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Is their lunatics. It exists, It exists to suck the
joy out of you, Bill.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yet, well, yeah they do that. It's kind of like
doesn't Islam also suck the joy out of everything?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Well?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yeah, that's well, I'm just saying it's really easy to
win an argument with an environmentalists, though there's a trick
to it, right, because remember, when you're having a debate
or in argument, you're never going to change the other
person's mind. Don't try to do that. Your goal should
be to convince the other person in the room that
you're right. The other person, the person that's just sitting
there that's not involved. Because when you're arguing with someone
(13:30):
about abortion or Israel or whatever it is, yes, the
other person at the bar, the other person at the
dinner table, start the argument with this, I want to
do what's best for all of mankind. And then the
environmentalist is going to say I don't think humans belong
on Earth, and you've won the arguments because that's it.
As soon as you get them to admit that. If
you start your argument with I want to do what's
(13:52):
best for humanity, the environmentalist is going to say, well, actually,
there's too many humans on planet Earth and we need
to eradicate them like they're.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Conchroach knife and tell them to get busy. Oh god,
got it. Then one less human and less for you
to worry about there.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
For I know we've heard this before because Joe Rogan
said it once, and it's so true. If you're deciding
between orcas and humans, and you choose the side of
killer whales, fine, feed them, let them live with the orcas,
throw them in the ocean, dine on that. You don't
want to be a human, I'm sorry you're on the
orcas side, you coward. Seriously, you're a trader to your
own species. Give me a break.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I have to read you something.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
And I know Gail King has been a treat for
our listeners for you know, off and on for years,
but this is so great. There's some controversy about whether
Gail and her five compadres are astronauts or whether they
just sat in the couch hol like on a carnival ride.
(14:53):
Gail makes it clear that she is not having this
cynicism that some of you might have expressed, she says.
Gail comes out for those who are brushing off this
mission as just a ride, huh, saying that just makes
the whole trip sound frivolous, and she's not having it.
(15:18):
By the way, that's how she's defending the carnival.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
You mean, you're fifty million dollar eleven minute trip to space,
that's the one that's not frivolous. Frivolous, isn't one hundred
million dollars eleven minute trip to space? That's not even
the funniest thing, she said, And that's hilarious. Oh, and
that's hilarious. She just keeps piling on. One of the
things I enjoy about this show is that there's never
any shortage of content for us to make fun of
the ridiculous things that happen in the world. This sound
(15:43):
might have been sitting in front of me for five
hours now, and I've not touched it yet. Touch it it, Kenny,
Ladies and gentlemen, Gail King, And.
Speaker 5 (15:50):
I'm so proud of us. I really am proud of
me because I never well and I'm so proud of us.
I really am proud of me because you're proud of you?
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Are you proud of you?
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Well?
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Next, next, next chapter of this book. I just want
to say, I'm very proud of me. We have a
popular morning show that can be heard in dozens.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Of market Very very proud of ourselves. Yeah, we're so proud.
The Wendy's fast food chain found the beef.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
They have a beef with Katy Perry and mainly it's
like with the Gail King and everything else.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Okay, so.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Wendy's when somebody posted a picture that Gail King or
Katy Perry in this case had just come back from space.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
She was on their knees kissing the ground like she'd
been gone for weeks or months or nine months stuck
into space. Yes, it was you know, ten minutes.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
So Wendy's posted the picture in their tweet and they said,
can we send her back? Casha the pop star piled
on I'm posting a picture of herself sipping from a
Windy's cup. Love it with no caption needed. Other celebrities
also dunking, Olivia mun Olivia Wilde, Emily Ridikowski, Amy Schumer.
(17:10):
Mostly women have a problem with these women, and now
Windy's the fast food chain. You know, they They've got
in all this publicity and stuff, and it helps that
they had a ad campaign years ago called Where's the
Beef and Neahy had the Beef. It's just crazy, dude,
(17:31):
you're giving me an excuse. It almost makes it seem frivolous.
But what they did.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
You're making me play my favorite rap song, Clara Peller
the House b Yep, that's a good bro This song
slaps dude, and I don't even like rap, but I'm
gonna put up with it for this one. It's hard
to believe, but back in the early eighties and the
late seventies, rap songs on the radio were only there
for novelty.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
It was a way to get that.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
It was a way to allow Rodney Dangerfield to have
a song on the radio because he could never sing
they don't get No Respect and boo and by the way,
I don't get no Respect and where's the Beef are worth?
They exact same song, right. I know, most people won't
even know what I'm talking about, but back in the eighties,
Rodney had a song called I Don't Get No Respect.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Stop's ringing the bell? And that's what she started to
yell where's the beef? How would you like to be
the backup singer in the Where's the Beef?
Speaker 3 (18:22):
Song from nineteen eighty four, and all Clara Peller does
to say where's the beef?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Don't you imagine they made more money doing that in
nineteen eighty four than we did doing this.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Bro, They made so much money off the song.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Clara Peller had her own line of chewing gum back
in the nineteen eighties, because Where's the Beef was such
a fun thing to say that people wanted to chew
beef flavored gum.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
You could buy it in stores. Oh, your lord, and
that's still not as ridiculous as what Gail King just said.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
You And I'm so proud of us, I really am
proud of Maybe.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Now some serious news though, from the world of Hollywood
and celebrity. Your bold little nase X had to be hospitalized.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Oh wait, hang on a second, everybody, this is a thing?
Oh is it? Now? It's time again for another edition
of medical coincidences.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Was it the COVID vaccine or was it all the
unprotected gay sacks? We don't know which one and want
a bit of telling. But the one thing is for sure.
This report's brought to you by.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
My Legacy Video dot Com. I was thinking about them
the other day.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
You know, the people in your family, your grandparents or
your dad, or somebody you know, whoever in your family,
good storytellers. Years from now, when they're gone, or maybe
they're gone already, you have to tell the story that
they used to tell, and you can't do it the
way they did. Wouldn't it be better to see them
and hear them tell it their own way? What if
(19:46):
you do that with my legacy video.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
What if you had a ken Burn's quality documentary what
they did that your grandkids could give to their grandkids.
That would be a fascinating thing to look at someday.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
It's good website. Look into it if you're interested in
my Legacy Video dot Com. Fortunately, nasaxs you can't procreate.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
He can't or he won't.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Well, I don't think men can't get birth now the
Trump's president. That's part of American history is over. Well, yeah,
he could choose a better partner, maybe like a woman.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
The guy who did a music video where he gives
the Devil a lap dance shortly after Cowboy Boots shortly
after appearing on Sesame Street. The guy who marketed himself
as a kid star and then went out and did
basically gay porn in a music video is in trouble.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
What became of little Nash.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
He ended up at the hospital Monday with facial paralysis.
But it's only on the right side of his face,
he says, I'm all look funny for a little bit,
but you know that's it right now.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I can't even laugh. Half of his face won't laugh. Wow,
that's that's wild now. If I'm not mistaken the facial paralysis,
he says.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
He doesn't know how it happened, and they're looking into it. Yeah,
I mean, I can't help but remember some kind of
a like a stroke or that syndrome.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Research links COVID nineteen vaccines to temporary facial paralysis in
thousands of patients. Large scale setting in South Korea finds
a notable increase in facial palsy cases. Polsy is such
a funny word within twenty eight days of COVID nineteen vaccination,
highlighting the need for post vaccination monitoring.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Uh oh, but I'm sure he'll be fine, of course
he will.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
I wonder if Helly used that facial paralysis thing to
like record a song about getting drunk and crunk or something.
You know, while his face sounds that way, probably can't
rap correctly.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
You gotta make it why you can't.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Probably it's true normally. I mean, just listen to how
great his voice is here. Oh, I'm sorry, that's Billy
Ray Cyrus.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
It's not that Bind being a popular a puck, a
puck a cop. Bind's being extremist. Walton and Johnson Radio
Network