Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You mean, like what Tanya Harding did the Nancy Carrigan.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
No, that's kneecaph.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
My bad. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Okay, So we got racism running ramp but all over
the place, thanks to the Democrats for seeing it and
pointing it out. Sure we got we got a earthquake
in Turkey, Turkey, and a whole.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Lot of problems over there in Constantinople.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yeah, and we got Elon musk is no genius, says
Jasmine Crockett, who is.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
A genius, a genius, very smart.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah. Oh, this one's fun. I like this. The the
Fed's gonna return to collecting student loans again, Okay, shouldn't they?
That's that's kicking back in.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Why is there still a moratorium on that? So people
just don't have to pay their student loans anymore? Because
six years ago some people got a.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Cold, but didn't some people called the Supreme Court tell
Joe Biden that he can't forgive the student loans. Well,
that did it anyway. But if Trump does something the
Supreme Court tells him not to do, then he has
to be impeached. I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Okay, Well that's an interesting point. Obviously those two things
are related. But technically they're different. In one case, it
was about just telling people you never have to pay
your loans again. In the other case, it was telling
them you could take a break from paying your loans
for I was moratorium man pay them up. Yeah, apparently
Billy Ed's got a moratorium on sex at his house
right now.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I'm not sure what that means, but that's something you
ought not to be concerned in yourself with. I'm worried
about you. You know, what goes on with the heat
and the she in behind the closed doors of a
double wad That none of your.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Concern, none of my concern. But for the record, how
are things with you in Prailean?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You like to bring up your own sex life a lot,
now you're bringing up ours.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What I'm concerned. I want to make sure my boys
are getting theirs, you know, I'm worried about I'm concerned
about my bros. You know, I wanna hear about my
recent not even a little bit. No, No, you probably
don't want to really hear about mine either. I'd probably
be more interested in hearing about mister. Actually, what happened
after the Sisa Kendrick Olmer concert.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Actually it happened before the concert, you know, but that's
that's just I'm just saying that magic happened. Let's just
say the sparks, they definitely was there. It was alright.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
According to a liberal logic about hurricanes on the Gulf Coast,
God must hate New Jersey.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Wow, the wildfires just will not go out. I know
New Jersey doesn't sound like a heavily forested place, but
technically it is. It's just not that part that's right
along the edge of New York.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, a wild, massive wildfire in Ocean County. It just
will not stop. Burn thousands of acres forest, thousands of evacuations,
destroyed businesses, closed, several roads. The fire began twelve thirty
pm Tuesday, April twenty second, at the Greenwood Forest Wildlife
Management Area in barn Gat Township, Ocean County.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Then it sound like a funeral home, it does actually
Greenwood Forest. Uh, you want to lay your loved ones
an eternal rest in peace and Greenwood Forest? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
say goodbye to your loved ones in peace. The Greenwood
Forest funeral parlor. You have u see Mike Tyson's house
we live when he was married to that Givens girl
(03:11):
that was in New Jersey. It was a mansion. They
would like a million, six, eight, ten, twelve million dollar
home over there in the woods. Just called him out
a nice spot. That is pretty.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
That was a lot of money back then. It was
nowadays five million dollars to get you like a three
bedroom in Dallas. Probably maybe anyway. As of Wednesday, April
twenty third, seven pm. Last night, the Jones Road wildfire
burned thirteen two hundred and fifty acres.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
It's a lot, I mean, yeah, I think it's a lot. Yeah,
I mean it's a lot. If you owned thirteen thousand,
you'd be you'd be pretty good off. But is it
a lot compared to what they got left?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I mean, I don't know, Billy yet, I don't know.
No one would go to New Jersey. That'd be terrible.
I'm certainly not going to go measure it. If I
had to go to the Upper East Coast, Jersey's the
last place I would go to. Well about Baltimore, is
that the upper East Coast, that kind of the middle.
It's the East Coach. It's in the middle there. We
could call you a Maryland man, then that's right. If
you go there, you'll be a Maryland man for the
(04:09):
rest of your life. And then if I leave there
and the police come looking for me, like, oh, did
you commit crimes while you're in Maryland, I'd say no, no, no,
I'm a Texas man.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yeah, that is a Maryland man. There's two to all
the different guys. And using your logic earlier, we got
the emails from John here who says the logic of
Democrats on that Maryland map means that the Russian troops
that invaded Ukraine they were actually Ukrainians. Well, once they
got there, sure, they immediately became Ukrainians, which means they
(04:38):
have every right to be there and nobody should be
trying to kick them out.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
It's a civil war. Why would we be involved in
a civil That's for Ukraine to worry about that right,
you deal with that. Ukraine. We can't solve that for you.
You know, that's your own get your citizens in check.
But all jokes aside. Actually, that is the reality of
what's happening. Because they suspended elections in Ukraine for the
last few years. The reason why is if they had
an election, there's a pretty good possibility Zelensky would lose
(05:03):
and the people that would win would be pro Russia.
Oh he outlawed the opposition for a lot of their problems.
That would solve everyone on Earth's problems except for Zelensky's problems. Yeah,
but so exactly, I'm alright with it. At the end
of the day, does anyone really care if Ukraine becomes
part of Russia? I'm over, I'm so over pretending to care.
A lot of the Ukrainians wouldn't mind a bit. Last night,
(05:26):
the Vatican had to keep Saint Peter's open all night
to handle the massive crowds.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Is that right. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
They were supposed to close it nine or ten at
night or something like.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
That, and now they're like water Burger and seven Elebens stuff.
They just stay open all night long.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
It kept going till five am, and then they reopened
at six ams. There was like an hour there where
they just cleaned. They probably dusted off the pope.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Oh yeah, and maybe mopped around the casket a little bit,
you know, where the people was trapesing in and out.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
They have him in a very they call it a
very humble, modest wooden coffin, And I thought, like, compared
to what you know, well.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Why bother. Now try to be humble and modest with
all of the just oppressive wealth that the Catholic Church
likes to put on parade for the pope. And then
all of a sudden, oh well, now he's dead. He's
a humble man.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Historically, the pageantry of the Catholic Church knows no bounds.
But I will say this, I think it's important to
be accurate. I don't I know which people want to
satisfy a narrative. And I was a guy that criticized
him for years. And now that he's gone and he's not,
you know, no longer affects the Catholic Church. I'll tell
you I nothing's as great as awful as anyone tells you.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
We made that point so many times. He did a
lot to help the poor.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
He also was a communist, so you know, tomato, tomato,
as we often say, tomato. You know, oh clearly, yeah,
people are always saying he did do a lot to
help the poor. I just want to make that point.
I don't think it's fair on someone's deathbed, did not
acknowledge both their accomplishments and the things you disliked about them.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Did he use his money to help the poor. Did
he use your money to help the poor?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Well, he probably used mine. But on the other hand,
he mostly lived a life of poverty. He was famous
in the Catholic Church for dialing back the opulence, dialing
back the pageantry. He was a guy that didn't think
we should gild everything, cover it, dip everything in gold plating.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
And that differs a bit from previous popes. You know,
maybe because they'd already got everything yielded by the end.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Well, it's yeah, probably true. Yeah, let me look around.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
When you see pictures or video from the from the funeral,
instead of looking at the pope or the crowds, look
in the background, take a look at what they got.
It looked pretty nice. Yeah, better than the inside of opoly.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
It's true. I thought having gilded choir boys took it
a little too far. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I remember seeing the kids going by at the time,
called cord kids on a bus going by. Stay tuned
for more. Waltman Johnson from lou Monty.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
He's the guy that did the Dominic the Donkeys song.
It's not all Christmas jams. You know you got to
turn your mic on there, Bubba.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
You think you have to tell us that I think
everybody already knew who that was.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
You guys knew that was lou Monty. Clearly, I love
lou Monty almost as much as I love space.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Why are you so gay for space? And now the
Walton and Johnson show brezil gay for Space Space Report,
of all the gay for space reports.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I am so gay for space. We have a lot
of listeners that work in the space industry in places
like Waco and South Mississippi and of course Houston, Texas,
and we love them all, yea, but not as much
as we love space itself.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Corpus, Yeah, Corpus.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Probably probably some space stuff over there.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
New Orleans, that dom Ash that that idiot to Elon
Musk couldn't have place down there on the coast souse.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Corpus, I think he does.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, little more Ron huh he He's about the domeest
thing ever.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Hey, this homo Erratic Space Report's probably brought to you
by Merch the online store.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Got not anybody else, It's just ours.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Go to I LOOVEWJ dot com right now today, Go there,
right now and go look at what we've got the
latest Walton Johnson merch. We added the Happy Sinco de
Mayo Alpaca Trump shirt. It's Trump a cartoon Trump eating
a taco wearing a sombrero with an alpaca, And of
course he's got a uh one of those ponchos on too. Well,
of course it's a good look, and you're gonna like
(09:01):
wearing it on Singo to Maya to let people know
you care about one of the most irrelevant Mexican holidays.
Holidays so irrelevant they don't even celebrate it in Mexico itself.
Ain't that beautiful, But tell that stop you from enjoying
some margaritas and tacos on sint Goo to Miyo.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Well, part of space are we going to?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Uh Flower Mounds, Texas?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
It ain't in space, that's in Dallam. Yeah, that's correct,
you're correct about that far mid cities technically, the Fort
Worth and the Dallas people won't make sure they separate
themselves from the mid cities. Here. It's up there by
a grapevine lake. That's I used to live south of
their little waite years ago. You heard of it there? Yeah,
been there none.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I spent a little bit of time in the Metroplex.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Have you yes, I have. Have you noticed the we
used to live in White Settlement, Texas until they made
them change the name of that.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's a Caucasian settlement. Yeah, yeah, to DIEI settlement now.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And then I moved to an area called Mansville, which
they really only started calling it that after I moved there.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Really, what was it called before that?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
This Ville? Really it's just some ville.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
All right. So our buddy Alex Stein, for those that
don't know, we're friends with that. We brought him to
town before for comedy shows. He's a good friend of ours.
Alex Stein is a brilliant word smith.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Crazy, brilliant yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Something so a little crazy. He's the guy who famously
pointed out that AOC had a big booty. She's a
big booty Latin.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
She never said the word juicy, but she certainly added it.
She called herself a juicy booty Latin. Anyway, AOC has
nothing to do with this.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Alex Stein intended the Flower Mound, Texas City Council meeting
earlier this week. I bet that was a barn burner
there so he could address the controversy involving the all
female space crew crew. They're calling him not passengers aboard
the Blue Origin penis shaped rocket, No.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
We get in gay for Space.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Good evening, Honorable Council Members of Flower Mountain. I am
Primetime ninety nine Alex Stein, your profit of truth and
assessful of cosmic lies, and I stand before you, trembling
with righteous fury to expose the intergalactic abomination that threatens
our souls.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
You've all seen the media attention.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Of Jeff Bezos's Blue Origin space.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Mission last week. But I'm here to rip the veil
off this satanic charade. A phallic shaped rocket, a throbbing
monument to Bezos's ego, carrying a coven of space harlots.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
That's amazing, lesbian pop star icon Katy Perry, Oprah's secret
lover Gail King, and Jeff's AI program sex puppet Lauren Sanchez.
And that's hard for me to say because I love
big booty Latinas.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
But it's true.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
These Jezebels didn't go to space.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
They staged a blasphemous ritual in the firmament.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
To mock God, in harvest our despair and Titan Bezos's
chokehold on humanity's spirit, all to outshine Elon Musk in
their billionaire blood feud. Ye, I've studied every space mission
since the Nazis slithered over here in Operation paper Clip
to fake the Apollo landings, and those swastika loving freaks
(12:00):
at least had the decency to wear bulky space.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Suits with kookie boots, because.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Hitler worshiped footwear even more than he worshiped large of
it's been listening.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I digress, but these.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Kinky boots should have been kinky boots.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Kinky what are kinky boots?
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
You there's a whole other world.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I'll open your eyes to some of the.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
The people at farre Mound were not prepared for what
Alex had to drop that day.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, but they have that rule where they have to
let you speak for like what a minute or something
before they can shut you down.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Thank one of them went to the bathroom and it
may have gave him a little more time. Yeah, they
just got it walked away for a while, like we
don't have time for this, you know. Counsulman Roberts has
got the Hershey squirts, He's got a.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Run in the other room. Real quick. Here's the latest
results from the latest shock pole. This is unbelievable. That's
why they call it a shock bowl. I'm shocked. In
the year twenty twenty four, they did a study of
of of rich people, billionaires especially.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I've heard of them.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Turns out the rich got than the rest of us
did in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And that kind of what always happens.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Though, what does the saying the rich good richer? Yeah,
it's shocking. And then what do they say about the poor?
Mister up poor? Uh, give running, it's out. I don't
know what they say about the pope.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
They got to fix that. That's not catchy enough. Rich
get richer, poor get running the poor that sucks the
poor get uh, you know crabs, they just stay poor.
I guess something. Yeah, they got to come up with
a better thing.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
The only reason anybody's poor is because of rich people.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Rich people have all the money and they're keeping you
from having any Yeah, it's because they have more that
you have less. That's how that's how economics works, right, dumb, dumb?
Or is it that the rich people own companies that
hire you to pay you money? Money? I like that,
you like money? Sure? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Parts of the Toronto Pearson International Airport are on lockdown
after a man was shot. Police and paramedics are swarming
the area. I'm gonna wone departures just happened recently? Yeah,
I guess so they made George.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Springer make it home safely or is he stuck in Houston.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
This news just came in front of me about twenty
fifteen minutes ago it broke.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
They published it like within the since the top of
the hour here Toronto was playing di Astro's Last Night.
You know former astro George Bringer. Uh, you know, now
he's a Canadian. Now he's a Canadian man. Oh, sure,
he's in Canada. That's how it works.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, you go to Canada, you're Canadian. Anyway. The thirties
there have confirmed in adult mail has been shot. They
say it was an isolated incident. But if you were
flying to Toronto today on a business trip, you might
want to check your phone and see if the apps
got a delay or who knows.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
How important could that trip be anyway?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I mean, you're going to Canada.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
What even happens in Canada? Just you know, call him
you can probably get the same thing.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
Dad.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Look, I don't know much about anything, but I'll tell
you this. Everything that happens in Canada sucks bucks and
we don't need Canada. We don't care about Canada, we
don't want Canada. If we invaded Canada tomorrow, wouldn't add
anything to our GDP, It wouldn't do anything to the.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Hell our country. Would they even notice? No, I don't
think so.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Nope, they're probably too drunk right now on fermented maple syrup. Yeah,
that's disgusting. What do they ever look at the Canadian food?
They ruined bacon, they ruined French fries. I know you
think that putin putin French fries is good.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
It's not. It's not putin like the leaders name in
French fries after Russia.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
That's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
It's gravy and cheese. I mean, we don't like gravy
and cheese.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Okay, just put gravy and cheese on it. Then why
you kind of name it after the Russian dictator?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
I don't get that.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
That's disgusting. You people sicken me. Look at you with
your stupid sports sitting around curling. What do you get
a broom and staying on ice while you drink? Oh lord,
aren't you ashamed of yourselves?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Your beers?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Or twice as big because you don't have anything important
to do today.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
All to be but I don't think they all aren't.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
You Canadians a shame. Look at you in the mirror
with your stupid accent. She look so dumb.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I forgot to mention when you brought up Nallas and
the Metroplex, mid Cities all that kind of stuff. Uh, this,
this was a little upseting to some people. Fox News
had a story on reach about I forty five being
a test area for the new driverless eighteen wheelers.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's right, Oh my god, we knew that was going
to well.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I think it's actually pretty I mean it's good. You know,
it's already so fed up on I forty five. I
don't think people are going to notice a few more
big rig wrecks.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Wow, just like that, Just like that, Now we've got
robots screwing things up for us.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Was that better or worse than the illeal aliens that
didn't pass a commercial driver's license test before they got
behind the wheel?
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I know, But enough about Canadians. Leave them out of this,
stop it.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Hey. Pete Hagsath yesterday.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Made an interesting point about clearing out DEI and critical
race theory at the Pentagon at.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
The Defense Department.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
That means no more distractions, no more social engineering nope,
no more climate change worship, no more gay stuff, no
more electric tanks, no more gender confusion, no more pronouns,
no more excuses, no more quotas, no more woke bullsh undermines,
(17:08):
commanders and command climates. We are laser focused on our
mission of warfighting.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Bro, you hear that, that's what I think.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
That's my guy. Pete hegsath Man.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
The testopsterone levels probably just peaked. You know.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
He wrote that in the script. He wrote the word
bs in the script.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
He was reading it off a que card.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Some people don't like that he's drunk all the time
at work, but honestly, I think that's cool. I want
our commander of the Pentagon to have a little bit
of moonshine in his veins.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Pumping it just brings out the warfighter in him a
little more. I think, Yeah, man up.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
I don't like gay people, I don't like Muslims, I
don't like abortions, I don't like anything liberals.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
But I really like to get along with people called
the Jibba Jabba. Walton and Johnson
You mean, like what Tanya Harding did the Nancy Carrigan.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
No, that's kneecaph.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
My bad. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Okay, So we got racism running ramp but all over
the place, thanks to the Democrats for seeing it and
pointing it out. Sure we got we got a earthquake
in Turkey, Turkey, and a whole.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Lot of problems over there in Constantinople.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Yeah, and we got Elon musk is no genius, says
Jasmine Crockett, who is.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
A genius, a genius, very smart.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah. Oh, this one's fun. I like this. The the
Fed's gonna return to collecting student loans again, Okay, shouldn't they?
That's that's kicking back in.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Why is there still a moratorium on that? So people
just don't have to pay their student loans anymore? Because
six years ago some people got a.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Cold, but didn't some people called the Supreme Court tell
Joe Biden that he can't forgive the student loans. Well,
that did it anyway. But if Trump does something the
Supreme Court tells him not to do, then he has
to be impeached. I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Okay, Well that's an interesting point. Obviously those two things
are related. But technically they're different. In one case, it
was about just telling people you never have to pay
your loans again. In the other case, it was telling
them you could take a break from paying your loans
for I was moratorium man pay them up. Yeah, apparently
Billy Ed's got a moratorium on sex at his house
right now.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
I'm not sure what that means, but that's something you
ought not to be concerned in yourself with. I'm worried
about you. You know, what goes on with the heat
and the she in behind the closed doors of a
double wad That none of your.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Concern, none of my concern. But for the record, how
are things with you in Prailean?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You like to bring up your own sex life a lot,
now you're bringing up ours.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What I'm concerned. I want to make sure my boys
are getting theirs, you know, I'm worried about I'm concerned
about my bros. You know, I wanna hear about my
recent not even a little bit. No, No, you probably
don't want to really hear about mine either. I'd probably
be more interested in hearing about mister. Actually, what happened
after the Sisa Kendrick Olmer concert.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Actually it happened before the concert, you know, but that's
that's just I'm just saying that magic happened. Let's just
say the sparks, they definitely was there. It was alright.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
According to a liberal logic about hurricanes on the Gulf Coast,
God must hate New Jersey.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Wow, the wildfires just will not go out. I know
New Jersey doesn't sound like a heavily forested place, but
technically it is. It's just not that part that's right
along the edge of New York.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, a wild, massive wildfire in Ocean County. It just
will not stop. Burn thousands of acres forest, thousands of evacuations,
destroyed businesses, closed, several roads. The fire began twelve thirty
pm Tuesday, April twenty second, at the Greenwood Forest Wildlife
Management Area in barn Gat Township, Ocean County.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Then it sound like a funeral home, it does actually
Greenwood Forest. Uh, you want to lay your loved ones
an eternal rest in peace and Greenwood Forest? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
say goodbye to your loved ones in peace. The Greenwood
Forest funeral parlor. You have u see Mike Tyson's house
we live when he was married to that Givens girl
(03:11):
that was in New Jersey. It was a mansion. They
would like a million, six, eight, ten, twelve million dollar
home over there in the woods. Just called him out
a nice spot. That is pretty.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
That was a lot of money back then. It was
nowadays five million dollars to get you like a three
bedroom in Dallas. Probably maybe anyway. As of Wednesday, April
twenty third, seven pm. Last night, the Jones Road wildfire
burned thirteen two hundred and fifty acres.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
It's a lot, I mean, yeah, I think it's a lot. Yeah,
I mean it's a lot. If you owned thirteen thousand,
you'd be you'd be pretty good off. But is it
a lot compared to what they got left?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I mean, I don't know, Billy yet, I don't know.
No one would go to New Jersey. That'd be terrible.
I'm certainly not going to go measure it. If I
had to go to the Upper East Coast, Jersey's the
last place I would go to. Well about Baltimore, is
that the upper East Coast, that kind of the middle.
It's the East Coach. It's in the middle there. We
could call you a Maryland man, then that's right. If
you go there, you'll be a Maryland man for the
(04:09):
rest of your life. And then if I leave there
and the police come looking for me, like, oh, did
you commit crimes while you're in Maryland, I'd say no, no, no,
I'm a Texas man.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Yeah, that is a Maryland man. There's two to all
the different guys. And using your logic earlier, we got
the emails from John here who says the logic of
Democrats on that Maryland map means that the Russian troops
that invaded Ukraine they were actually Ukrainians. Well, once they
got there, sure, they immediately became Ukrainians, which means they
(04:38):
have every right to be there and nobody should be
trying to kick them out.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
It's a civil war. Why would we be involved in
a civil That's for Ukraine to worry about that right,
you deal with that. Ukraine. We can't solve that for you.
You know, that's your own get your citizens in check.
But all jokes aside. Actually, that is the reality of
what's happening. Because they suspended elections in Ukraine for the
last few years. The reason why is if they had
an election, there's a pretty good possibility Zelensky would lose
(05:03):
and the people that would win would be pro Russia.
Oh he outlawed the opposition for a lot of their problems.
That would solve everyone on Earth's problems except for Zelensky's problems. Yeah,
but so exactly, I'm alright with it. At the end
of the day, does anyone really care if Ukraine becomes
part of Russia? I'm over, I'm so over pretending to care.
A lot of the Ukrainians wouldn't mind a bit. Last night,
(05:26):
the Vatican had to keep Saint Peter's open all night
to handle the massive crowds.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Is that right. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
They were supposed to close it nine or ten at
night or something like.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
That, and now they're like water Burger and seven Elebens stuff.
They just stay open all night long.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
It kept going till five am, and then they reopened
at six ams. There was like an hour there where
they just cleaned. They probably dusted off the pope.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Oh yeah, and maybe mopped around the casket a little bit,
you know, where the people was trapesing in and out.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
They have him in a very they call it a
very humble, modest wooden coffin, And I thought, like, compared
to what you know, well.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Why bother. Now try to be humble and modest with
all of the just oppressive wealth that the Catholic Church
likes to put on parade for the pope. And then
all of a sudden, oh well, now he's dead. He's
a humble man.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Historically, the pageantry of the Catholic Church knows no bounds.
But I will say this, I think it's important to
be accurate. I don't I know which people want to
satisfy a narrative. And I was a guy that criticized
him for years. And now that he's gone and he's not,
you know, no longer affects the Catholic Church. I'll tell
you I nothing's as great as awful as anyone tells you.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
We made that point so many times. He did a
lot to help the poor.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
He also was a communist, so you know, tomato, tomato,
as we often say, tomato. You know, oh clearly, yeah,
people are always saying he did do a lot to
help the poor. I just want to make that point.
I don't think it's fair on someone's deathbed, did not
acknowledge both their accomplishments and the things you disliked about them.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Did he use his money to help the poor. Did
he use your money to help the poor?
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Well, he probably used mine. But on the other hand,
he mostly lived a life of poverty. He was famous
in the Catholic Church for dialing back the opulence, dialing
back the pageantry. He was a guy that didn't think
we should gild everything, cover it, dip everything in gold plating.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
And that differs a bit from previous popes. You know,
maybe because they'd already got everything yielded by the end.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Well, it's yeah, probably true. Yeah, let me look around.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
When you see pictures or video from the from the funeral,
instead of looking at the pope or the crowds, look
in the background, take a look at what they got.
It looked pretty nice. Yeah, better than the inside of opoly.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
It's true. I thought having gilded choir boys took it
a little too far. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I remember seeing the kids going by at the time,
called cord kids on a bus going by. Stay tuned
for more. Waltman Johnson from lou Monty.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
He's the guy that did the Dominic the Donkeys song.
It's not all Christmas jams. You know you got to
turn your mic on there, Bubba.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
You think you have to tell us that I think
everybody already knew who that was.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
You guys knew that was lou Monty. Clearly, I love
lou Monty almost as much as I love space.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Why are you so gay for space? And now the
Walton and Johnson show brezil gay for Space Space Report,
of all the gay for space reports.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I am so gay for space. We have a lot
of listeners that work in the space industry in places
like Waco and South Mississippi and of course Houston, Texas,
and we love them all, yea, but not as much
as we love space itself.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Corpus, Yeah, Corpus.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Probably probably some space stuff over there.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
New Orleans, that dom Ash that that idiot to Elon
Musk couldn't have place down there on the coast souse.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Corpus, I think he does.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yeah, little more Ron huh he He's about the domeest
thing ever.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Hey, this homo Erratic Space Report's probably brought to you
by Merch the online store.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Got not anybody else, It's just ours.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Go to I LOOVEWJ dot com right now today, Go there,
right now and go look at what we've got the
latest Walton Johnson merch. We added the Happy Sinco de
Mayo Alpaca Trump shirt. It's Trump a cartoon Trump eating
a taco wearing a sombrero with an alpaca, And of
course he's got a uh one of those ponchos on too. Well,
of course it's a good look, and you're gonna like
(09:01):
wearing it on Singo to Maya to let people know
you care about one of the most irrelevant Mexican holidays.
Holidays so irrelevant they don't even celebrate it in Mexico itself.
Ain't that beautiful, But tell that stop you from enjoying
some margaritas and tacos on sint Goo to Miyo.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Well, part of space are we going to?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Uh Flower Mounds, Texas?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
It ain't in space, that's in Dallam. Yeah, that's correct,
you're correct about that far mid cities technically, the Fort
Worth and the Dallas people won't make sure they separate
themselves from the mid cities. Here. It's up there by
a grapevine lake. That's I used to live south of
their little waite years ago. You heard of it there? Yeah,
been there none.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I spent a little bit of time in the Metroplex.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Have you yes, I have. Have you noticed the we
used to live in White Settlement, Texas until they made
them change the name of that.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's a Caucasian settlement. Yeah, yeah, to DIEI settlement now.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
And then I moved to an area called Mansville, which
they really only started calling it that after I moved there.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Really, what was it called before that?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
This Ville? Really it's just some ville.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
All right. So our buddy Alex Stein, for those that
don't know, we're friends with that. We brought him to
town before for comedy shows. He's a good friend of ours.
Alex Stein is a brilliant word smith.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Crazy, brilliant yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Something so a little crazy. He's the guy who famously
pointed out that AOC had a big booty. She's a
big booty Latin.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
She never said the word juicy, but she certainly added it.
She called herself a juicy booty Latin. Anyway, AOC has
nothing to do with this.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Alex Stein intended the Flower Mound, Texas City Council meeting
earlier this week. I bet that was a barn burner
there so he could address the controversy involving the all
female space crew crew. They're calling him not passengers aboard
the Blue Origin penis shaped rocket, No.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
We get in gay for Space.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Good evening, Honorable Council Members of Flower Mountain. I am
Primetime ninety nine Alex Stein, your profit of truth and
assessful of cosmic lies, and I stand before you, trembling
with righteous fury to expose the intergalactic abomination that threatens
our souls.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
You've all seen the media attention.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Of Jeff Bezos's Blue Origin space.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Mission last week. But I'm here to rip the veil
off this satanic charade. A phallic shaped rocket, a throbbing
monument to Bezos's ego, carrying a coven of space harlots.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
That's amazing, lesbian pop star icon Katy Perry, Oprah's secret
lover Gail King, and Jeff's AI program sex puppet Lauren Sanchez.
And that's hard for me to say because I love
big booty Latinas.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
But it's true.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
These Jezebels didn't go to space.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
They staged a blasphemous ritual in the firmament.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
To mock God, in harvest our despair and Titan Bezos's
chokehold on humanity's spirit, all to outshine Elon Musk in
their billionaire blood feud. Ye, I've studied every space mission
since the Nazis slithered over here in Operation paper Clip
to fake the Apollo landings, and those swastika loving freaks
(12:00):
at least had the decency to wear bulky space.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Suits with kookie boots, because.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
Hitler worshiped footwear even more than he worshiped large of
it's been listening.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I digress, but these.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Kinky boots should have been kinky boots.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Kinky what are kinky boots?
Speaker 5 (12:13):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:14):
You there's a whole other world.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I'll open your eyes to some of the.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
The people at farre Mound were not prepared for what
Alex had to drop that day.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, but they have that rule where they have to
let you speak for like what a minute or something
before they can shut you down.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Thank one of them went to the bathroom and it
may have gave him a little more time. Yeah, they
just got it walked away for a while, like we
don't have time for this, you know. Counsulman Roberts has
got the Hershey squirts, He's got a.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Run in the other room. Real quick. Here's the latest
results from the latest shock pole. This is unbelievable. That's
why they call it a shock bowl. I'm shocked. In
the year twenty twenty four, they did a study of
of of rich people, billionaires especially.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I've heard of them.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Turns out the rich got than the rest of us
did in twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And that kind of what always happens.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Though, what does the saying the rich good richer? Yeah,
it's shocking. And then what do they say about the poor?
Mister up poor? Uh, give running, it's out. I don't
know what they say about the pope.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
They got to fix that. That's not catchy enough. Rich
get richer, poor get running the poor that sucks the
poor get uh, you know crabs, they just stay poor.
I guess something. Yeah, they got to come up with
a better thing.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
The only reason anybody's poor is because of rich people.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Rich people have all the money and they're keeping you
from having any Yeah, it's because they have more that
you have less. That's how that's how economics works, right, dumb, dumb?
Or is it that the rich people own companies that
hire you to pay you money? Money? I like that,
you like money? Sure? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Parts of the Toronto Pearson International Airport are on lockdown
after a man was shot. Police and paramedics are swarming
the area. I'm gonna wone departures just happened recently? Yeah,
I guess so they made George.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Springer make it home safely or is he stuck in Houston.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
This news just came in front of me about twenty
fifteen minutes ago it broke.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
They published it like within the since the top of
the hour here Toronto was playing di Astro's Last Night.
You know former astro George Bringer. Uh, you know, now
he's a Canadian. Now he's a Canadian man. Oh, sure,
he's in Canada. That's how it works.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, you go to Canada, you're Canadian. Anyway. The thirties
there have confirmed in adult mail has been shot. They
say it was an isolated incident. But if you were
flying to Toronto today on a business trip, you might
want to check your phone and see if the apps
got a delay or who knows.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
How important could that trip be anyway?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I mean, you're going to Canada.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
What even happens in Canada? Just you know, call him
you can probably get the same thing.
Speaker 5 (14:46):
Dad.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Look, I don't know much about anything, but I'll tell
you this. Everything that happens in Canada sucks bucks and
we don't need Canada. We don't care about Canada, we
don't want Canada. If we invaded Canada tomorrow, wouldn't add
anything to our GDP, It wouldn't do anything to the.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Hell our country. Would they even notice? No, I don't
think so.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Nope, they're probably too drunk right now on fermented maple syrup. Yeah,
that's disgusting. What do they ever look at the Canadian food?
They ruined bacon, they ruined French fries. I know you
think that putin putin French fries is good.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
It's not. It's not putin like the leaders name in
French fries after Russia.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
That's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
It's gravy and cheese. I mean, we don't like gravy
and cheese.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Okay, just put gravy and cheese on it. Then why
you kind of name it after the Russian dictator?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
I don't get that.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
That's disgusting. You people sicken me. Look at you with
your stupid sports sitting around curling. What do you get
a broom and staying on ice while you drink? Oh lord,
aren't you ashamed of yourselves?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Your beers?
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Or twice as big because you don't have anything important
to do today.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
All to be but I don't think they all aren't.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
You Canadians a shame. Look at you in the mirror
with your stupid accent. She look so dumb.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
I forgot to mention when you brought up Nallas and
the Metroplex, mid Cities all that kind of stuff. Uh, this,
this was a little upseting to some people. Fox News
had a story on reach about I forty five being
a test area for the new driverless eighteen wheelers.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's right, Oh my god, we knew that was going
to well.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
I think it's actually pretty I mean it's good. You know,
it's already so fed up on I forty five. I
don't think people are going to notice a few more
big rig wrecks.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Wow, just like that, Just like that, Now we've got
robots screwing things up for us.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Was that better or worse than the illeal aliens that
didn't pass a commercial driver's license test before they got
behind the wheel?
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I know, But enough about Canadians. Leave them out of this,
stop it.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Hey. Pete Hagsath yesterday.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Made an interesting point about clearing out DEI and critical
race theory at the Pentagon at.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
The Defense Department.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
That means no more distractions, no more social engineering nope,
no more climate change worship, no more gay stuff, no
more electric tanks, no more gender confusion, no more pronouns,
no more excuses, no more quotas, no more woke bullsh undermines,
(17:08):
commanders and command climates. We are laser focused on our
mission of warfighting.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Bro, you hear that, that's what I think.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
That's my guy. Pete hegsath Man.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
The testopsterone levels probably just peaked. You know.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
He wrote that in the script. He wrote the word
bs in the script.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
He was reading it off a que card.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Some people don't like that he's drunk all the time
at work, but honestly, I think that's cool. I want
our commander of the Pentagon to have a little bit
of moonshine in his veins.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Pumping it just brings out the warfighter in him a
little more. I think, Yeah, man up.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
I don't like gay people, I don't like Muslims, I
don't like abortions, I don't like anything liberals.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
But I really like to get along with people called
the Jibba Jabba. Walton and Johnson
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