Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is getting to the end of April here, which
(00:02):
means for a lot of college kids, graduation time is
right around the corner. How exciting for all the parents
out there to see their kids put on the cap
and ball gown. The guy, I guess it's not a gown. Yeah,
just a gown. It's not a ball gown. That'd be crazy. No,
that men in ball gowns. Men would never wear women's clothing.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
That's the same.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Seems kind of appropriate. They would be called ball gowns.
What are the girls call theirs? Well, actually, you've got
a great point. They all call them vadge gowns. Asking
the tough questions here at the Walton Johnson Show, like
why isn't being here illegally enough of a crime to
get you deported? It's a great question, Billy h No,
(00:44):
we don't have time for the answers. We just like
to ask the tough questions. But back to graduation, because
these kids graduating today, they're gonna be the future leaders
of our Oh my god, no, they're gounna be the
leaders of our country soon.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Well, here's Mary Ryan Brown, Southern mom Hattiesburg, to describe
how excited she is about her little boy graduating from college.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
You are family friends and lovely benefactors. You are cordially
invited to diplomas and Plomas. A graduation celebration feature in
Jent and Pookie's Baby is the DJ Tassels at the Castle.
A tasteful celebration for our ged princess, extra credit card debt.
A commencement bash catered by Carbones. I believe my baby
(01:27):
is graduating. Well, actually, I don't know if he is yet.
He just told me yesterday that he has failing mouth because,
and I quote, all the teacher talks about is TJ
Max and home goods. I said, baby, that lady is
a teacher. She probably has to do a lot of
mouth to make being a Maxinista fit into her budget.
(01:47):
You'd be slaked to that little divorced school. You know,
it's May, because in May I get a break from
all these dance recitals and engagement parties and golf cart
drag race and a moodlight chanting on the pickleball court
and all the Montassori pre school programs where the children
eat humous not humless, humous soul. It's supposed to open
their third eye or something. This year the waning toddlers
(02:09):
are doing some version of Bohemian Rhapsody, some of yours insign.
I haven't seen my husband Greg in weeks. He says,
it's hunting season. I know it's not whatever.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Oh yeah, it's hunting season. Definitely is hunting season. No
it's not. No, we got guy's got to give him.
Oh that's right, it's hunting season. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah, he's probably just hunting. Course, that's why I put
food on the table. You appreciate that. I gotta think
if he's been gone for weeks, Actually, maybe we should
let her know. It seems she should call somebody. Seems
a little concerning to me. Mary Ryan Brown's husband, Greg
seems like a good guy. I worry about Greg sometimes. Yeah,
I know, somebody check in on Greg.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Poor guy.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Well, he made a mistake of marrying a woman who's
a little too on the ball. Yeah, that's his problem.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
She says what your southern tupaware says about you. Oh,
dear lord, all right, So if you haven't heard yet
a parent, this guy in Austin, Texas on Sunday was
just dangling from a crane. I don't know why we're
just learning about this Now this dude, it's a seven
hundred foot crane above downtown Austin. You got to have
some balls or just be an insane person to do
something like this. They have to say, you could measure
(03:17):
the success or the future success of a city by
how many cranes are downtown, but you can also predict
how much traffic.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
You're gonna have in the coming years. Very true.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
This happened Sunday in downtown Austin. Police arrived to nab
the guy, so he climbs down a few flights of
stairs in the crane, then disappears into the neighboring high
rise building. The buildings called Republic Austin. It's apparently under construction.
Apparently he had an accomplish with him. He was able
to get away. They still haven't found the guy. Really,
(03:46):
so he did this on purpose, And since it happened
on Sunday, a lot of people have been joking he
has risen.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Uh yeah, because it was Easter, because he's like kind
of high up in the sky. Blow was in a crane,
right exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Anyway, if you've seen a guy in downtown Austin who
likes to perform stunts and Cranes. The Austin Police Department
would like to have a conversation with you. Maybe it
was you. I'm sure it's friendly. I'm sure it's of course.
I'm sure they could come to some understanding. They just
want to talk to you. It's all seventy voters seventy
and older are the only age group that rates Trump negatively.
According to new research, it turns out it's actually what
(04:20):
you were just ripping on these people graduating from college
right just a second ago, wasn't Billy, I'd just doing this? Yeah,
and those are exactly the people that are voting for
Trump right now.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Yeah, but they're not doing it because they understand the issues.
They're doing it because it's trendy.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
And Kamala sucks.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
So what I'll take it somebody, Well, yeah, well we'll
take them. But somebody must have put it on social
media or something, and then they're all like, oh, yeah,
we're gonna vote for Trump, but we're gonna do it
erratically or something like that.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Well it turns out it's ironically ironically.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yeah, it turns out it's the boomers who are the
ones that don't like Trump.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Who is the boomers forget it's the older that's the generation. Yeah,
it's you, Billia. Oh, I don't like Trump now.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Generation Billy had. I'm sick and tired of all these
liberal boomers with their far left com you pick up politics.
Why can't they get in line like us normal people,
us gen xers and millennials and zoomers.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, all of us normals. Yeah, exact way, mister Kenneth.
How old are you? I'm with you? Are you sure? Okay? Anyway?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Change in a poll that will probably come as somewhat
of a shock to a lot of people, Trump is
either in a plus territory or at least solid neutral
ground when it comes to job approval rating against most
age demographics.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Media would love for him to be a lot less popular, right.
They do everything they can to manipulate the numbers, and
they still just can't quite get it where they want it.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
The group of people that do not like Trump are
the septagenarians. It's a weird word, but it's I think
I said it right. Yeah, old people. He's fourteen points
underwater with them. Everyone else, Zoomers, millennials, gen xers seem
to either like Trump or they're on the fence about him.
Especially in fact, people in their forties, they said forty
five point approval rating, forty five percent disapproval rating.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Somebody in that forty two to forty four range. Somewhere
that range for what we're looking at.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
For people in their twenties and thirties, he's above water.
For people in their forties or fifties, it's about equal.
Fifties is actually above water underwater right now? For the geriatrics.
Weirdly enough, well, it hate me. What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I ain't no geriatric? No? But what that? No, billy,
iad you're not? No, No, I ain't. Yeah, he's like
people in wheelchairs and stuff. It's not what that means.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
But no, But it's besides the point, especially not if
they were like wheelchairs for warriors.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Those are usually very young people. They need our help,
they really do.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
You could go to Wheelchairs for Warriors dot org today,
make a tax deductible donation. You'll feel good about yourself after.
And then when you give that money to Wheelchairs for Warriors,
you know that, no matter what happens, it's not going
to end up in the Ukrainian oligarchs bank account.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah. God, I can't stand Ukrainian oligarchs.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
They're the worst. So all the oligarchs in the world,
they are the worst. Well that brings I agree that
in the Chinese. But that brings us to another controversy today,
Russia Ukraine. Donald Trump's trying to reach a deal between
the Ukrainians and the good guys I mean the Russians.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Sorry, and I kid, but.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Again we have to make sure people understand there is
not a good side bad side here.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
It's not, you know, good versus evil.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
It's not like you know, a lot of people, you know,
in their fifties and sixties and older, were raised in
the world of Westerns on TV and then the movies.
And in the old westerns it was clear cut there
was a bad guy and a good guy, the Indians
and the white guy or the bad guy wore a
(07:42):
black hat and the good guy was wearing a white hat.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
That helps me figure it out. Now there we go
back to the old racest days. Black as bad, white
as good. That's what they taught you.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Well, now it turns out the bad guy wears a
green sweater meetings all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Sometimes it's bad guy versus other bad guy.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I agree with you. Here we are I think Zelensky sucks.
But for the record, the liberal media is going to
blame Trump today for trying to give crimea to Russia,
and it's easy to prove that's not what happened.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I thought I already had that and they took it
in the year twenty fourteen. Billy ed, you're a Who's president?
Then thank you? Uh. I could probably go back and
look it up.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You know, you know we got this red line in
the second it was Obama is the red line of
the Putin You better not cross it. Ramos Michelle after you.
She got a big old penis. She's going with you
with it.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
So Trump's offering Russia something they already have, basically to
stop bombing Ukraine, which the Russians were bombing Kiev again yesterday.
It kind of seems like maybe Zolensky doesn't want this
to stop because he's got a nice little Peeni party
going on for him in the world right now.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Not only that, but it's made him an international celebrity.
How many people knew who Zelensky was before this war
of twelve exactly fifteen? Who knows and who is aware
of who he is now? Or everyone on earth now
knows who Zelensky is. They're comparing him to Winston Churchill, Like,
give me a break, and what.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Is all that fame gonna do for him? In the
long run, He's still gonna end up dead. Well, we're
all gonna end up dead. Yeah, So why why tried
so hard to become your world famous?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Well, it's gonna help you. It's gonna keep you alive longer.
I mean, you raise a good point.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
We do spend an awful lot of time worrying about
trinkets and power, and you don't get to bring any
of that stuff with you when you die.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You don't take it to heaven with you. Now, when you.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Walk through those big pearly gage, you don't get to
bring your Rolex watch, you don't get to bring your
Mercedes Benz, you don't get to bring your coach purse.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Mister Kenneth, that all stays on earth. I'm not sure
about that. Why it might go with me? You want
to get buried alive with your I mean buried dead alive.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
No, but you're a I want to take a couple
of nice things with me, just in case.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
You wouldn't donate that stuff to charity on your deathbed.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Mister, Yes, but I have a couple of items that
I've already set aside.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Okay, okay, what what trinket do you g?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
That's it in the will? And if you're mentioned in
the will, you'll find out?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Am I mentioned in the will? If you're still alive,
you'll find out.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I mean odds, all right, I won't be still Wow.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
What you told seek to understand is I'm not trapped
in here with you, in here with me.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Stay tuned for more. Waltman Johnson. So I guess we've
got like all these states in the Union, right.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Yeah, there's like fifty seven of them or something. There's
Idaho that's still a thing. Huh, Alaska is a thing, right,
that's yeah, that's one of them. You got, you got
the Delaware, you know, still allowed to have Delaware. But
there's one state where there's constantly funny news stories.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Is it in the south? It is? Is it in
the southeast? Yeah? Arkansas along the Wait what you know
not Arkansas yourself?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Well, Arkansas got its moments, but no, we have a
special report for one very specific state that's shaped like
a penis.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
It's the hind down state.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
You've heard of it It's called Florida, Florida Mas, Florida
Manne all.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
The time, went to jail, drank some wine, some wine,
not a few coups. Anyway, when we made.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
This jingle over a decade ago, did you ever think
you'd listened to it thousands of times?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I was hoping we wouldn't. But here it is. It's
a Florida Man Report.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
It's probably brought to you by Heywood Harvest.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
The website is Heywoodharvest dot com and they got some
good products in there that are legal in all fifty states.
But for some reason they don't want us to give
you explicit details on what it is, so you have
to go look for yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, go take a look at Highwood Harvest dot com today.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
We are all I'm assuming satisfied customers, right. Promo code
W and J Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I had a great four to twenty wink wink with
my with my products at Heywood Harvest dot com with
promo code W and jo wandjay wanjay is the promo code.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
There you go, and I here anything like I.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know, Florida is a lot of fun, So I
got a double decker Florida Man Report today. Do you
want the uh with it on me? Do you want
the friendly silly one or do you want the weird
scary one? Oh, weird scary first? As all right, let's
start off with this one. Thirty three year old USPS
driver was arrested for dui earlier post office. Yeah, he
got it. She got arrested. Sorry, so a woman they
(12:21):
let women drive for the post office got a dui
earlier this month. While on duty. She was invited into
a house party while en route, really and admitted to
having some. She said, two shots of vodka. I have
buddies that are cops. Oh my god, my buddies who
are cops. Tell me they always when they're drunk, they
always say they just had.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
A couple of drinks. That's right. So if you're gonna lie,
never say it's a couple, Just say you had one.
I had one. You know there, you're lying too well.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I mean, if you're drunk, you're drunk. Okay, don't drink
a drunk. She's delivering the mail. They invite her into.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
A house where a party is going on, and she
drinks vodka and then goes back to the route.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, and then interesting, they were having a party during
the day like that, I never get invited to a
day party.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I love day drinking.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Day drinking so much better than drinking at night because
you don't get all hungover, you're not exhausted. You got
to sleep at a normal times.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Probably a longer story than we have time for to
explain to you why you don't get invited to those
parties anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Here's a woman who witnessed the drunk postal worker.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
We saw a mail truck driving in the wrong direction
in the same lane that we were in. She proceeded
to drive in zigzags all the way down the road
until she got to the stop sign, where she proceeded
to kick a solo cup out of the side of
the mail truck. She was literally off roading in the
(13:37):
mail truck, all.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Right, she was doing what in the off roading she
was driving office said.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
She was off loading, Like, okay, if that's what the
girls call it, the just peking office side at the
mail trust. And here's another story for you. So just
to say that she was trying to avoid some of
the horrible potholes that are you know, in the street, and.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
That's why she was zigzagging around. I mean Honestly, there's
probably a handful.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Of creative excuses she could have given, but she was
too drunk to think of him.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
I will warn you by this. Hopefully it never happens
to you. But if you see a male truck coming
towards you, sure a postal truck because now people think, well,
is it a female or a male truck?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah, let him hate you. That's government money.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
If you like your truck or your car, do not
hit that because those things are built sot.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I mean, it's like a tank. Its solid.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
It ain't made out of that fiberglass and plastic like
your car is.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
No, they're actually good anyway. Here's another news story that
has Florida written all over it. There's an animal tracker
in Jacksonville. The guy's name is Mike Dragic, aka the
blue Collar Brawler. He's even got a cool nickname. And
Mike is apparently an animal wrangler. He had to leave
his Easter dinner early so he could wrangle at gator
at a woman's house. Here he is trapping it in
(14:52):
a trash container. We've seen this before. It's just funny
when it happens on Easter.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
He's right, the trash can they kiss a long Huh,
it's fun ga can and check him out.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Look at this dude, muscle tea, right, tattoos, sleeveless shirt.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
You want to be him, don't you. Well, no, just
the whole shebang. He's got four the Man written all
over him. You want that.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I mean, I am kind of like a blue collar
brawler kind of guy, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, yeah, that's what over everybody always says. I feel
like me and Mike were the same kind of guy.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
He lays the trash container down, gets the gator in it,
stands the bin back up.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
And closes the lid. Ye all to the delight of
the woman.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
We've seen it before because we live in the South
and we have gators here.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
But I think she rewarded him for his efforts. Uh,
you know, off camera.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
This wasn't a porn hob video, mister, Oh of course though. Yeah,
I mean, honestly, you probably did nowadays.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
With them, chances all, they do have video of whatever
took place inside after they videoed what took place outside,
because these cameras everwhere now yeah, you know, they got
cameras about the size of my little well on your
little nevermind, they got small cameras as well.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Planned speaking of unintentional porn stars, Peanut the Squirrel is
back in the news again, and you're probably wondering what
does that have to do with porn. Well, I'll quickly
remind you Peanut the Squirrel died early in twenty twenty four.
Were murdered, murdered by the government. Didn't just die of
his own natural causes or nothing. And in the wake
of this death happening, it really upset Americans because Peanut
(16:22):
had four hundred thousand followers on Instagram. Peanut was owned
by a first responder and his girlfriend that were living
in New York somewhere. Well, it turns out the two
of them were only fans models, and after people on
the internet learned that they were using Peanut the Squirrel
to promote an online pornography website. So it really divided
the left and right. Some conservatives said it shouldn't matter,
some liberals said it should. But then similarly, some conservatives
(16:45):
and liberals both either supported or vilified the guy. Peanut
was a victim. Yeah, Peanut did nothing wrong and then
they killed him for it. Well, now, new documents revealed
that the New York Department of Environmental Conservation did not
initially take out to address complaints made about the safety
of Peanut the squirrel months before his death. Now that's
one way of reporting it. That's how People magazine is reporting.
(17:09):
Another way of reporting on this, which I think is
a little more accurate, is the New York Department of
Environmental Conservation planned for weeks to rate that home and
kill Peanut the squirrel.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
It was the thing they were discussed. It was premeditated months.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, you're telling me government officials spent months, weeks, months
planning out.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
The death of a squirrel.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Oh boy, they finally raided the guys home and decapitated
Peanut the squirrel. Somebody should write a thesis paper titled
how a dead squirrel helped Donald Trump win the twenty
twenty four election, because that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
You don't thinking I should do it, though, are you?
Speaker 4 (17:44):
No?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I want the article to be well written, bild, gotcha?
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Push. You don't know anything about the story, and you know,
and I don't really think you could spell, and you
probably couldn't use a typewriter, and you got it, you
know computer processing. Plus you know they have certain standards
AP Style Guide that kind of thing. Frankly, I notice
you drink a lot when you're doing the same menial
task for a long time with your Yeah, it's pretty
unlikely you'd even be able to write a paper like that.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Uh, thank God, take some pressure off of me, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
And it's like you stand around all day long and
your IQ just drops and drops and drops. And the
more you stand here, the more smelly you get, and
the less time you spend showering, the stinky your art.
It affects all of us, and just being down Win.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Would have been fine. Oh well then no, no, billy
id you won't have to write it. No good I
say this calls for action. And now nip it in
the bud. First sign of youngster's going wrong, You got
to nip it in the bud. Nipp it. Stay tuned
for more. Waltman Johnson
It is getting to the end of April here, which
(00:02):
means for a lot of college kids, graduation time is
right around the corner. How exciting for all the parents
out there to see their kids put on the cap
and ball gown. The guy, I guess it's not a gown. Yeah,
just a gown. It's not a ball gown. That'd be crazy. No,
that men in ball gowns. Men would never wear women's clothing.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
That's the same.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Seems kind of appropriate. They would be called ball gowns.
What are the girls call theirs? Well, actually, you've got
a great point. They all call them vadge gowns. Asking
the tough questions here at the Walton Johnson Show, like
why isn't being here illegally enough of a crime to
get you deported? It's a great question, Billy h No,
(00:44):
we don't have time for the answers. We just like
to ask the tough questions. But back to graduation, because
these kids graduating today, they're gonna be the future leaders
of our Oh my god, no, they're gounna be the
leaders of our country soon.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Well, here's Mary Ryan Brown, Southern mom Hattiesburg, to describe
how excited she is about her little boy graduating from college.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
You are family friends and lovely benefactors. You are cordially
invited to diplomas and Plomas. A graduation celebration feature in
Jent and Pookie's Baby is the DJ Tassels at the Castle.
A tasteful celebration for our ged princess, extra credit card debt.
A commencement bash catered by Carbones. I believe my baby
(01:27):
is graduating. Well, actually, I don't know if he is yet.
He just told me yesterday that he has failing mouth because,
and I quote, all the teacher talks about is TJ
Max and home goods. I said, baby, that lady is
a teacher. She probably has to do a lot of
mouth to make being a Maxinista fit into her budget.
(01:47):
You'd be slaked to that little divorced school. You know,
it's May, because in May I get a break from
all these dance recitals and engagement parties and golf cart
drag race and a moodlight chanting on the pickleball court
and all the Montassori pre school programs where the children
eat humous not humless, humous soul. It's supposed to open
their third eye or something. This year the waning toddlers
(02:09):
are doing some version of Bohemian Rhapsody, some of yours insign.
I haven't seen my husband Greg in weeks. He says,
it's hunting season. I know it's not whatever.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Oh yeah, it's hunting season. Definitely is hunting season. No
it's not. No, we got guy's got to give him.
Oh that's right, it's hunting season. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah, he's probably just hunting. Course, that's why I put
food on the table. You appreciate that. I gotta think
if he's been gone for weeks, Actually, maybe we should
let her know. It seems she should call somebody. Seems
a little concerning to me. Mary Ryan Brown's husband, Greg
seems like a good guy. I worry about Greg sometimes. Yeah,
I know, somebody check in on Greg.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Poor guy.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Well, he made a mistake of marrying a woman who's
a little too on the ball. Yeah, that's his problem.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
She says what your southern tupaware says about you. Oh,
dear lord, all right, So if you haven't heard yet
a parent, this guy in Austin, Texas on Sunday was
just dangling from a crane. I don't know why we're
just learning about this Now this dude, it's a seven
hundred foot crane above downtown Austin. You got to have
some balls or just be an insane person to do
something like this. They have to say, you could measure
(03:17):
the success or the future success of a city by
how many cranes are downtown, but you can also predict
how much traffic.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
You're gonna have in the coming years. Very true.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
This happened Sunday in downtown Austin. Police arrived to nab
the guy, so he climbs down a few flights of
stairs in the crane, then disappears into the neighboring high
rise building. The buildings called Republic Austin. It's apparently under construction.
Apparently he had an accomplish with him. He was able
to get away. They still haven't found the guy. Really,
(03:46):
so he did this on purpose, And since it happened
on Sunday, a lot of people have been joking he
has risen.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Uh yeah, because it was Easter, because he's like kind
of high up in the sky. Blow was in a crane,
right exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Anyway, if you've seen a guy in downtown Austin who
likes to perform stunts and Cranes. The Austin Police Department
would like to have a conversation with you. Maybe it
was you. I'm sure it's friendly. I'm sure it's of course.
I'm sure they could come to some understanding. They just
want to talk to you. It's all seventy voters seventy
and older are the only age group that rates Trump negatively.
According to new research, it turns out it's actually what
(04:20):
you were just ripping on these people graduating from college
right just a second ago, wasn't Billy, I'd just doing this? Yeah,
and those are exactly the people that are voting for
Trump right now.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Yeah, but they're not doing it because they understand the issues.
They're doing it because it's trendy.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
And Kamala sucks.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
So what I'll take it somebody, Well, yeah, well we'll
take them. But somebody must have put it on social
media or something, and then they're all like, oh, yeah,
we're gonna vote for Trump, but we're gonna do it
erratically or something like that.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Well it turns out it's ironically ironically.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Yeah, it turns out it's the boomers who are the
ones that don't like Trump.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Who is the boomers forget it's the older that's the generation. Yeah,
it's you, Billia. Oh, I don't like Trump now.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Generation Billy had. I'm sick and tired of all these
liberal boomers with their far left com you pick up politics.
Why can't they get in line like us normal people,
us gen xers and millennials and zoomers.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, all of us normals. Yeah, exact way, mister Kenneth.
How old are you? I'm with you? Are you sure? Okay? Anyway?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Change in a poll that will probably come as somewhat
of a shock to a lot of people, Trump is
either in a plus territory or at least solid neutral
ground when it comes to job approval rating against most
age demographics.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Media would love for him to be a lot less popular, right.
They do everything they can to manipulate the numbers, and
they still just can't quite get it where they want it.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
The group of people that do not like Trump are
the septagenarians. It's a weird word, but it's I think
I said it right. Yeah, old people. He's fourteen points
underwater with them. Everyone else, Zoomers, millennials, gen xers seem
to either like Trump or they're on the fence about him.
Especially in fact, people in their forties, they said forty
five point approval rating, forty five percent disapproval rating.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Somebody in that forty two to forty four range. Somewhere
that range for what we're looking at.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
For people in their twenties and thirties, he's above water.
For people in their forties or fifties, it's about equal.
Fifties is actually above water underwater right now? For the geriatrics.
Weirdly enough, well, it hate me. What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
I ain't no geriatric? No? But what that? No, billy,
iad you're not? No, No, I ain't. Yeah, he's like
people in wheelchairs and stuff. It's not what that means.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
But no, But it's besides the point, especially not if
they were like wheelchairs for warriors.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Those are usually very young people. They need our help,
they really do.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
You could go to Wheelchairs for Warriors dot org today,
make a tax deductible donation. You'll feel good about yourself after.
And then when you give that money to Wheelchairs for Warriors,
you know that, no matter what happens, it's not going
to end up in the Ukrainian oligarchs bank account.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah. God, I can't stand Ukrainian oligarchs.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
They're the worst. So all the oligarchs in the world,
they are the worst. Well that brings I agree that
in the Chinese. But that brings us to another controversy today,
Russia Ukraine. Donald Trump's trying to reach a deal between
the Ukrainians and the good guys I mean the Russians.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Sorry, and I kid, but.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Again we have to make sure people understand there is
not a good side bad side here.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
It's not, you know, good versus evil.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
It's not like you know, a lot of people, you know,
in their fifties and sixties and older, were raised in
the world of Westerns on TV and then the movies.
And in the old westerns it was clear cut there
was a bad guy and a good guy, the Indians
and the white guy or the bad guy wore a
(07:42):
black hat and the good guy was wearing a white hat.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
That helps me figure it out. Now there we go
back to the old racest days. Black as bad, white
as good. That's what they taught you.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Well, now it turns out the bad guy wears a
green sweater meetings all the time.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Sometimes it's bad guy versus other bad guy.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I agree with you. Here we are I think Zelensky sucks.
But for the record, the liberal media is going to
blame Trump today for trying to give crimea to Russia,
and it's easy to prove that's not what happened.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I thought I already had that and they took it
in the year twenty fourteen. Billy ed, you're a Who's president?
Then thank you? Uh. I could probably go back and
look it up.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
You know, you know we got this red line in
the second it was Obama is the red line of
the Putin You better not cross it. Ramos Michelle after you.
She got a big old penis. She's going with you
with it.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
So Trump's offering Russia something they already have, basically to
stop bombing Ukraine, which the Russians were bombing Kiev again yesterday.
It kind of seems like maybe Zolensky doesn't want this
to stop because he's got a nice little Peeni party
going on for him in the world right now.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Not only that, but it's made him an international celebrity.
How many people knew who Zelensky was before this war
of twelve exactly fifteen? Who knows and who is aware
of who he is now? Or everyone on earth now
knows who Zelensky is. They're comparing him to Winston Churchill, Like,
give me a break, and what.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Is all that fame gonna do for him? In the
long run, He's still gonna end up dead. Well, we're
all gonna end up dead. Yeah, So why why tried
so hard to become your world famous?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Well, it's gonna help you. It's gonna keep you alive longer.
I mean, you raise a good point.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
We do spend an awful lot of time worrying about
trinkets and power, and you don't get to bring any
of that stuff with you when you die.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You don't take it to heaven with you. Now, when you.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Walk through those big pearly gage, you don't get to
bring your Rolex watch, you don't get to bring your
Mercedes Benz, you don't get to bring your coach purse.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Mister Kenneth, that all stays on earth. I'm not sure
about that. Why it might go with me? You want
to get buried alive with your I mean buried dead alive.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
No, but you're a I want to take a couple
of nice things with me, just in case.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
You wouldn't donate that stuff to charity on your deathbed.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Mister, Yes, but I have a couple of items that
I've already set aside.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Okay, okay, what what trinket do you g?
Speaker 3 (10:01):
That's it in the will? And if you're mentioned in
the will, you'll find out?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Am I mentioned in the will? If you're still alive,
you'll find out.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I mean odds, all right, I won't be still Wow.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
What you told seek to understand is I'm not trapped
in here with you, in here with me.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Stay tuned for more. Waltman Johnson. So I guess we've
got like all these states in the Union, right.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Yeah, there's like fifty seven of them or something. There's
Idaho that's still a thing. Huh, Alaska is a thing, right,
that's yeah, that's one of them. You got, you got
the Delaware, you know, still allowed to have Delaware. But
there's one state where there's constantly funny news stories.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Is it in the south? It is? Is it in
the southeast? Yeah? Arkansas along the Wait what you know
not Arkansas yourself?
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Well, Arkansas got its moments, but no, we have a
special report for one very specific state that's shaped like
a penis.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
It's the hind down state.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
You've heard of it It's called Florida, Florida Mas, Florida
Manne all.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
The time, went to jail, drank some wine, some wine,
not a few coups. Anyway, when we made.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
This jingle over a decade ago, did you ever think
you'd listened to it thousands of times?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I was hoping we wouldn't. But here it is. It's
a Florida Man Report.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
It's probably brought to you by Heywood Harvest.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
The website is Heywoodharvest dot com and they got some
good products in there that are legal in all fifty states.
But for some reason they don't want us to give
you explicit details on what it is, so you have
to go look for yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah, go take a look at Highwood Harvest dot com today.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
We are all I'm assuming satisfied customers, right. Promo code
W and J Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
I had a great four to twenty wink wink with
my with my products at Heywood Harvest dot com with
promo code W and jo wandjay wanjay is the promo code.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
There you go, and I here anything like I.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know, Florida is a lot of fun, So I
got a double decker Florida Man Report today. Do you
want the uh with it on me? Do you want
the friendly silly one or do you want the weird
scary one? Oh, weird scary first? As all right, let's
start off with this one. Thirty three year old USPS
driver was arrested for dui earlier post office. Yeah, he
got it. She got arrested. Sorry, so a woman they
(12:21):
let women drive for the post office got a dui
earlier this month. While on duty. She was invited into
a house party while en route, really and admitted to
having some. She said, two shots of vodka. I have
buddies that are cops. Oh my god, my buddies who
are cops. Tell me they always when they're drunk, they
always say they just had.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
A couple of drinks. That's right. So if you're gonna lie,
never say it's a couple, Just say you had one.
I had one. You know there, you're lying too well.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I mean, if you're drunk, you're drunk. Okay, don't drink
a drunk. She's delivering the mail. They invite her into.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
A house where a party is going on, and she
drinks vodka and then goes back to the route.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, and then interesting, they were having a party during
the day like that, I never get invited to a
day party.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
I love day drinking.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Day drinking so much better than drinking at night because
you don't get all hungover, you're not exhausted. You got
to sleep at a normal times.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Probably a longer story than we have time for to
explain to you why you don't get invited to those
parties anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Here's a woman who witnessed the drunk postal worker.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
We saw a mail truck driving in the wrong direction
in the same lane that we were in. She proceeded
to drive in zigzags all the way down the road
until she got to the stop sign, where she proceeded
to kick a solo cup out of the side of
the mail truck. She was literally off roading in the
(13:37):
mail truck, all.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Right, she was doing what in the off roading she
was driving office said.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
She was off loading, Like, okay, if that's what the
girls call it, the just peking office side at the
mail trust. And here's another story for you. So just
to say that she was trying to avoid some of
the horrible potholes that are you know, in the street, and.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
That's why she was zigzagging around. I mean Honestly, there's
probably a handful.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Of creative excuses she could have given, but she was
too drunk to think of him.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
I will warn you by this. Hopefully it never happens
to you. But if you see a male truck coming
towards you, sure a postal truck because now people think, well,
is it a female or a male truck?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Yeah, let him hate you. That's government money.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
If you like your truck or your car, do not
hit that because those things are built sot.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I mean, it's like a tank. Its solid.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
It ain't made out of that fiberglass and plastic like
your car is.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
No, they're actually good anyway. Here's another news story that
has Florida written all over it. There's an animal tracker
in Jacksonville. The guy's name is Mike Dragic, aka the
blue Collar Brawler. He's even got a cool nickname. And
Mike is apparently an animal wrangler. He had to leave
his Easter dinner early so he could wrangle at gator
at a woman's house. Here he is trapping it in
(14:52):
a trash container. We've seen this before. It's just funny
when it happens on Easter.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
He's right, the trash can they kiss a long Huh,
it's fun ga can and check him out.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Look at this dude, muscle tea, right, tattoos, sleeveless shirt.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
You want to be him, don't you. Well, no, just
the whole shebang. He's got four the Man written all
over him. You want that.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I mean, I am kind of like a blue collar
brawler kind of guy, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, yeah, that's what over everybody always says. I feel
like me and Mike were the same kind of guy.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
He lays the trash container down, gets the gator in it,
stands the bin back up.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
And closes the lid. Ye all to the delight of
the woman.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
We've seen it before because we live in the South
and we have gators here.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
But I think she rewarded him for his efforts. Uh,
you know, off camera.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
This wasn't a porn hob video, mister, Oh of course though. Yeah,
I mean, honestly, you probably did nowadays.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
With them, chances all, they do have video of whatever
took place inside after they videoed what took place outside,
because these cameras everwhere now yeah, you know, they got
cameras about the size of my little well on your
little nevermind, they got small cameras as well.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Planned speaking of unintentional porn stars, Peanut the Squirrel is
back in the news again, and you're probably wondering what
does that have to do with porn. Well, I'll quickly
remind you Peanut the Squirrel died early in twenty twenty four.
Were murdered, murdered by the government. Didn't just die of
his own natural causes or nothing. And in the wake
of this death happening, it really upset Americans because Peanut
(16:22):
had four hundred thousand followers on Instagram. Peanut was owned
by a first responder and his girlfriend that were living
in New York somewhere. Well, it turns out the two
of them were only fans models, and after people on
the internet learned that they were using Peanut the Squirrel
to promote an online pornography website. So it really divided
the left and right. Some conservatives said it shouldn't matter,
some liberals said it should. But then similarly, some conservatives
(16:45):
and liberals both either supported or vilified the guy. Peanut
was a victim. Yeah, Peanut did nothing wrong and then
they killed him for it. Well, now, new documents revealed
that the New York Department of Environmental Conservation did not
initially take out to address complaints made about the safety
of Peanut the squirrel months before his death. Now that's
one way of reporting it. That's how People magazine is reporting.
(17:09):
Another way of reporting on this, which I think is
a little more accurate, is the New York Department of
Environmental Conservation planned for weeks to rate that home and
kill Peanut the squirrel.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
It was the thing they were discussed. It was premeditated months.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah, you're telling me government officials spent months, weeks, months
planning out.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
The death of a squirrel.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Oh boy, they finally raided the guys home and decapitated
Peanut the squirrel. Somebody should write a thesis paper titled
how a dead squirrel helped Donald Trump win the twenty
twenty four election, because that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
You don't thinking I should do it, though, are you?
Speaker 4 (17:44):
No?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
I want the article to be well written, bild, gotcha?
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Push. You don't know anything about the story, and you know,
and I don't really think you could spell, and you
probably couldn't use a typewriter, and you got it, you
know computer processing. Plus you know they have certain standards
AP Style Guide that kind of thing. Frankly, I notice
you drink a lot when you're doing the same menial
task for a long time with your Yeah, it's pretty
unlikely you'd even be able to write a paper like that.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Uh, thank God, take some pressure off of me, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
And it's like you stand around all day long and
your IQ just drops and drops and drops. And the
more you stand here, the more smelly you get, and
the less time you spend showering, the stinky your art.
It affects all of us, and just being down Win.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Would have been fine. Oh well then no, no, billy
id you won't have to write it. No good I
say this calls for action. And now nip it in
the bud. First sign of youngster's going wrong, You got
to nip it in the bud. Nipp it. Stay tuned
for more. Waltman Johnson
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