Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Did somebody die, Yes, somebody we know.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Skype is dead. It was twenty two years old. Rest
in peace. It died suddenly.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Oh no, I wouldn't say suddenly.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
You think it died a slow, agonizing, painful, excruciatingly slow,
way too long of death.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I can remember a couple of decades ago when Skype
first showed up on the scene.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
It blew people's minds. And what was it again?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
It was a peer to peer video chat app. Huh,
you know how your phone does FaceTime?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Billy ed, I'd rather it didn't, okay, but sure.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Well, there was a time when iPhones were what would
have been Blackberries or flip phones didn't have that feature.
So the idea that you could go on the internet
and do a video chat with someone was fascinating. It
was like, wow, look, it's the future. Do you remember
there was an episode of the Office where Pam gets
a job in the city and Jim communicates with her
via Skype and everybody in the office is amazed by it.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, but a better one was when Michael wore a
lady close. That's a good one. That's true. He accidentally
to do with Skype. Yeah, but he's right. That was funny.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Why do you why are you picking on him?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
See how he is?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yeah, what's your deal? I'm sick of your anti redneck bullying.
Oh my good, you and the people in your community
now that you guys are.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
A protected class.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I know, ever since Joe Biden came along and said
gay people can do no wrong, you guys really act
like you're like martyrs or saints or something sainty.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I'll go ahead and I'll accept that. Uh that, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Anyway, Skype is officially dead after twenty two years. I
got to think part of the reason why it failed
is because after it became a little irrelevant, there was
a moment where it could have been irrelevant. It could
have been relevant again the pandemic, and they didn't seize
on the opportunity.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Yeah, but at that point we'd moved on to better
ways of doing the same thing, Facebook and Zoom and
you know all that other.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Stuff, right, But Skype could have done that.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Do you remember when you first learned that Blockbuster could
have bought Netflix but they but they didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
They said, uh, yeah, no, we don't want to be
a part of that foolishness.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
When the pandemic hit everybody had to have peer to
peer video meetings. We're all going to stay home and
our boxer shorts and our tank tops and have meetings
on the internet.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And what Apple? Will we use Skype? Nah, Skype's not
ready for that. We'll use Zoom. Wait. Why isn't Skype
ready for that? It existed first, Yeah, but it is.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Skype founded two thousand and three, and then Microsoft eventually
bought it for eight and a half billion dollars.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
What a bad investment that was, exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
It had about one hundred and fifty million monthly users,
but Zoom came along and caught on during the pandemic,
and Skype dropped from one hundred and fifty million to
barely twenty million users. Yeah, that's when they said it's
not coming back. Do you know how easy it would
have been. I mean, maybe it did this and people
(02:54):
just didn't notice.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
But if you could do peer to peer video chat,
why can't you do group video chat?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Like, why didn't they just all right make it so
other people could join the conversation. Nah, maybe it did that,
I don't know, but if it did, nobody noticed.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Skype froze up a lot Now, the technology twenty years
ago not that great compared to today. Sure you know my
my streaming services used to freeze up a lot too,
ten fifteen years ago, whenever Netflix became a thing on TV. Sure,
but it doesn't now it's gotten better.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
You remember that episode of Silicon Valley where they figure
out how to make their software go faster.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yes, I do.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
They said that it could suck and it could blow
out the information at the same time, suck it in
and blow it out, or like sort of like it
was throbbing inwards and then throbbing outwards.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
And maybe if they used a masturbatory guide to demonstrate
how that might work. I don't remember that, Oh sure
you don't anyway. Rest in peace, Skype. It is officially done.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yesterday was its last day, and nobody noticed because nobody
was using it.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Sad to say goodbye to Skype, the Ogi of online
awkward silences. Cause of death could have been a virus,
or maybe it just froze mid sentence. The task manager
attempted to restart, but alas Skype had already logged off
once The King of Can You Hear Me Now? Now
(04:23):
just a ghost app haunting desktops may it rest in pixels.
Reporting from the Skype funeral. I'm heywood Yazumi.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Okay, see, dude, do they actually play this music at
black people funerals?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Mister o? What music is that? What you got boys?
Speaker 4 (04:43):
To?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Man, it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I've heard of not like every time, but I've been.
I don't go to that funerals, to be honest with you,
but I have heard it played.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Like a corny music that they play at white people funerals.
Boy Frank Sinatra as I did it my Way?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Or what's that other thing they play? Not ave Maria?
That's pretty good?
Speaker 3 (05:03):
That's good, Yeah, especially if you get Aaron Neville to
sing it.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, who's that guy from the Four Tenors? He did
a song? They'd say three, No, it's pretty sure, it's
four okay, maybe five or six?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Sure? Well why stop there? You know? Six or seven? Anyway,
that's one of the songs too that they sing. Yeah, well, mate,
is Skypreston Peace.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I gotta think if I died, instead of doing the
Frank Sinatra version of My Way, I'd have them do
the sid Vicious version.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
That'd be cooler, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I'm on make a note. Yeah, you know if it
happens to come up later, No.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
It will trust me. I think you guys are all
going to outlive me. I accept that it is the plan,
all right. A mom in Kentucky says that her second
grader ordered thirty cases of Dumb Dumb lollipops on Amazon,
which is, for the record, seventy thousand suckers candy. At first,
Amazon wouldn't take any of it back, They wouldn't refunder.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Finally, let me correct.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
You after the way I read the story was, they
called Amazon, they realized what had happened. What a seven
year old ordered seventy that's about four thousand dollars on Amazon?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
And Amazon said, whenever the delivery comes, just refuse the
delivery and send it back and Amazon will refund the money.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I don't have any emotional attachment to this, but on
my screen it says at first Amazon wouldn't take them back,
but ultimately they refunded her.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
First they said, we'll take them back if you refuse
the delivery.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
And then what happened? Does this happen to your house?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
The driver didn't knock, just left them out stack the
boxes on the porch and left. And what would happen
if you left boxes of candy on the front porch
of a hothouse in South Texas separate story. The boxes
were delivered without ringing the bell or knocking. Then the
person that it was at home didn't have a chance
(06:57):
to refuse the little.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
No, I don't want those, send them back to Amazon.
So they got him.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Amazon said, well, we can't take them back now, it's
a food item. If they return a food item once
it's been handed off. But I'm assuming since this occurred
that they have had further contact with Amazon. Probably lawyers
got in touch. News stations picked up on the story.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Next thing you.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Know, Amazon has said, oh yeah, yeah, we'll happily refund
the money.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
But they weren't going to.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Boy, I'm glad you clarified that, because the thought of
Amazon not taking back somebody's refund is literally violence.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
That's not right. That is literally what violence says.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Here's Holly la Fovers talking about the massive order that
her kid made.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
I just panicked, and then when I saw what the
number was, just about finally, this was just a fluke
thing that happened. He told me that he wanted to
have a carnival, and he was ordering the dumb duns
as prozes for his carnival. So yeah, again, he was
being friendly, he was being kind to his friends.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Uh huh, dumb numb.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
So did you consider slapping him for ordering things he
shouldn't have ordered on the internet.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
You know your kid can be.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Disciplined without a swat on the butt. Yeah, just let
him know. Don't do that again. Don't go on the
internet and order seventy thousand suckers and spend thousands of dollars.
By the way, it's not even good candy. It's no
garbage candy. In the hierarchy of candy, I think we
all agree it goes like this. It goes Reese's peanut
butter cups, sour Patch kids, black licorice, everything else.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
We're not agreeing on anything. Noo, body agrees on anything.
But I know you love black licorice. That's what I
got you for your birthday last kind Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah,
I've still got that whole blocked in case you guys
want to just jump in there. Really, you didn't eat
any of it. I've been full. I've just been full.
I feel like you're being a little disingenuous right now. No,
(08:49):
I'm from here.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Oh hold on, I feel like I caught that French disease.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
It makes things happen to you twice Wolton M. Johnson.
Oh this you did not know something? The boy. The
pope has a summer home. It's a palace. It is nice.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
It's a seventeenth century villa and in observatory with a
farmhouse on seventy five acres of farmland.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Is that for every pope or was it just the
one that died? Is that his personal vacation home.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Well they've had it since fifteen ninety six? Does that
answer your question? And it was no, So since Pope
urban the age, it goes back along ways before this
pope was ever alive. Well, not every pope, because this pope,
because this Pope was alive. Right, the first pope was
Saint Peter. He didn't have access to it. But fifteen
hundred years later the Pope's got their hands on this place.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Oh apparently it took him a little while to have mass,
massive fortunateate the Catholic Church is famous for today.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Does that threaten do you feel threatened by that? Is
that boy? You say it like with some stink in
your mouth there, like you're mad about it or whatever. Yeah, well, no,
why do people get mad about the fact that the
Catholic Church has.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Then they get mad about Harvard taking tax dollars? Harvard
got fifty three billion dollars. Set aside, point though, those
nonprofit Catholic Church got plenty of money.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
They did, and they got money from the government. It's
still mope.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I agree, I get it, but I still I still
think the Catholic Church is less damaging than the thing
you're comparing it to.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I think the people that in the Guzza strip are
gonna be happy the pope died.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Well, hang on, I didn't explain to you why I
brought this up. The building, the palace is named after Gandalf.
You know, you would think Catholics that love Lord of
the Rings would make a bigger deal out of this.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I had no idea. Yeah, it's really.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Cool, and it's got extra terrestrial status. Oh I'm sorry,
extra territorial status. I guess that's different. No, that's the
same thing.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Is it really?
Speaker 5 (10:36):
So?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Aliens? Go there is that? Is this like area fifty
one for the Catholic Church? Kind of hell? The Pope
gets at edge on the rest of us. He's got friends.
He's got friends in out of space. Oh yeah, that's amazing.
I feel I wish you to listen to me now.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I feel like we're playing the wrong kind of music here.
Hang on a second, all right, explain it again, Billy.
So the Pope has an alien autopsy laboratory.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Definitely? Yeah? Wow?
Speaker 3 (11:00):
And who does he take there? No, the Pope has
a mobile health clinic. Now, okay, go ahead, tell us
about it. You're just being ridiculous with all of your
silly alien stories.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
This is a real story.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
The Vatican announced that the late Pope friends is this
popemobile is going to be transformed into a mobile health
clinic for kids in the Gaza Strip.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
It was one of his final wishes before he died.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
So if a kid in the Gaza Strip gets sick
or gets hit by a bomb or something, they're gonna
put him inside of a little.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Bubble, put him into popemobile. It looks like a clown car,
and then he'll be healed. I guess does it have
miracle powers?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
So you're telling me, as they're driving that kid to
the hospital, he has to sit there in a silly
little car.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It looks like a clown car with a bubble on
top of him.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
So everybody in the neighborhood and can see that he
had a mortar shell hit him in the groinal area.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Is that glass or plastic or whatever it is made out?
Is that like bulletproof?
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Right?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Bomb stunle Sultan, because that's about the only way you
safe in the Gozle.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I can't imagine it's bomb resistant, but it's supposed to
be bulletproof.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, I mean that kind of the whole point. How
could it stop a bomb? It's glass?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And I think I found a story you're going to
be very upset with, Okay, dude. Tell a fifty one
year old man walked into a church in Pennsylvania, wandered
around the building for a while, looked through the lost
and found apparently didn't see anything he needed, and then
he approached the pedestal containing the Holy water, Oh God,
(12:30):
and relieved himself in it. I don't like it, I think,
So what do you do when you walk into the
church and there's holy water right by the door?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I was there yesterday. I go every Monday at noon
to Saint Michael's. I put my hand in the little
glass ball there and I and I doubt it's cement,
but it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
And I dab it on my forehead. I do that right,
and saw there's son holy ghost. Put your finger like
a finger bowl to rinse your fingers, so if you've
had a sticky meal, but it's it's blessed water. And
then you rub it on your face.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Some people just tap the water. I like to go
for a swim in it. It just feels good to
have the you know, the Lord on my hands.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
So you rub and you don't.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Know if somebody had relieved themselves in it and it
just didn't get caught on security camera or something.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You don't know, well, I mean you're right, we don't know.
Do you know that that is a second degree misdemeanor,
that's all. It doesn't sound bad enough. There should be
a worse punishment.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
It's called intentional desecration of a venerated object. And they
found this guy pretty quickly because the police are familiar
with him from previous run ins with the law, if
you can believe it or not, convictions for theft, criminal trespassing,
reckless driving, disorderly conduct, driving without a license, and indecent
(13:45):
assault without consent.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So that's the legal term obviously, but in Catholic terminology,
besides calling it sacrilege, it's profanation of a sacred object.
That yeah, it's used to describe the desecrating or misusing
of something that's holy.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
It does sound like a punishment all to be a
little stronger than a misdemeanor.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah, if you were leave yourself on our holy water,
we should be allowed to relieve ourselves on you.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
You know, if you could be in the room with
a guy by yourself for a couple of minutes and
you think you could straighten us, fool out, dude.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
It does piss me off, like it does make me
feel a little fire.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
In my belly. That's say on words.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
It wasn't supposed to be, but thank you. It makes
me angry. You're pod, I am po. Yeah, enough is enough?
How dare you come into this? If anyone's going to
disrespect the Catholic Church, it's going to be the leaders
of our religion.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
That's true. They kind of you corner to the market
on that for a while. And before we leave, which
just remind you when we come back tomorrow, I assume
all the cardinals will be sequestered by that point, because
it'll be you know, sickly am here be after lunch
over there and eatlly.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
So they should have shut.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
All the doors and windows, locked everybody in and get
ready to start that vote.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
If you haven't seen Conclave.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
On you know whatever Netflix or wherever it is, now
might be the perfect time.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
And today and the Catholic Church, we remember Saint Dominic Savio.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
He was with Donkey. He was the patron of choir boys.
I don't know. Oh, boy, that's unfortunate.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
It is. Yeah, he was canonized back in nineteen fifty
four by the Pope obviously, and apparently he was a
choir boy.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And I guess he might probably must have died or
something like that. Yeah, if you canonized him, he did.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, well they're all dead. Yeah, that's true. Every saint's
supposed to be dead, Holy death, they say, and rest
in peace to him. But also, you know, he's one
of God's you know, he's a saint. So he's fighting
the spirit war right now. He's among us and around us. Yay,
congratulations to Elon Musk. Apparently the Media Research Center is
giving him an award today for being the best social
(15:56):
media personality. Doesn't that seem a little marginalizing when you
consider what he did?
Speaker 3 (16:00):
That's all he's accomplished in his life. He's big on
social media.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Sure, I think I could think of one more thing
that he does, you know, colonizing mars, maybe neuralink.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
He hasn't yet, but he is planning on it.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
You know, kind of like the COVID vaccine. I'm glad
that he's figuring out how to put computer chips in
people's brains in order to help care paralysis.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
But I would never let him do that to me. Well, no,
that would be ridiculous. You know who else would hate
that idea? Yes, I think I don't forget boys and
eat it every day.
Did somebody die, Yes, somebody we know.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Skype is dead. It was twenty two years old. Rest
in peace. It died suddenly.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Oh no, I wouldn't say suddenly.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
You think it died a slow, agonizing, painful, excruciatingly slow,
way too long of death.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
I can remember a couple of decades ago when Skype
first showed up on the scene.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
It blew people's minds. And what was it again?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
It was a peer to peer video chat app. Huh,
you know how your phone does FaceTime?
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Billy ed, I'd rather it didn't, okay, but sure.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Well, there was a time when iPhones were what would
have been Blackberries or flip phones didn't have that feature.
So the idea that you could go on the internet
and do a video chat with someone was fascinating. It
was like, wow, look, it's the future. Do you remember
there was an episode of the Office where Pam gets
a job in the city and Jim communicates with her
via Skype and everybody in the office is amazed by it.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, but a better one was when Michael wore a
lady close. That's a good one. That's true. He accidentally
to do with Skype. Yeah, but he's right. That was funny.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Why do you why are you picking on him?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
See how he is?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Yeah, what's your deal? I'm sick of your anti redneck bullying.
Oh my good, you and the people in your community
now that you guys are.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
A protected class.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I know, ever since Joe Biden came along and said
gay people can do no wrong, you guys really act
like you're like martyrs or saints or something sainty.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I'll go ahead and I'll accept that. Uh that, thank you.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Anyway, Skype is officially dead after twenty two years. I
got to think part of the reason why it failed
is because after it became a little irrelevant, there was
a moment where it could have been irrelevant. It could
have been relevant again the pandemic, and they didn't seize
on the opportunity.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Yeah, but at that point we'd moved on to better
ways of doing the same thing, Facebook and Zoom and
you know all that other.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Stuff, right, But Skype could have done that.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Do you remember when you first learned that Blockbuster could
have bought Netflix but they but they didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
They said, uh, yeah, no, we don't want to be
a part of that foolishness.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
When the pandemic hit everybody had to have peer to
peer video meetings. We're all going to stay home and
our boxer shorts and our tank tops and have meetings
on the internet.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And what Apple? Will we use Skype? Nah, Skype's not
ready for that. We'll use Zoom. Wait. Why isn't Skype
ready for that? It existed first, Yeah, but it is.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Skype founded two thousand and three, and then Microsoft eventually
bought it for eight and a half billion dollars.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
What a bad investment that was, exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
It had about one hundred and fifty million monthly users,
but Zoom came along and caught on during the pandemic,
and Skype dropped from one hundred and fifty million to
barely twenty million users. Yeah, that's when they said it's
not coming back. Do you know how easy it would
have been. I mean, maybe it did this and people
(02:54):
just didn't notice.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
But if you could do peer to peer video chat,
why can't you do group video chat?
Speaker 1 (03:01):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Like, why didn't they just all right make it so
other people could join the conversation. Nah, maybe it did that,
I don't know, but if it did, nobody noticed.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Skype froze up a lot Now, the technology twenty years
ago not that great compared to today. Sure you know my
my streaming services used to freeze up a lot too,
ten fifteen years ago, whenever Netflix became a thing on TV. Sure,
but it doesn't now it's gotten better.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
You remember that episode of Silicon Valley where they figure
out how to make their software go faster.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yes, I do.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
They said that it could suck and it could blow
out the information at the same time, suck it in
and blow it out, or like sort of like it
was throbbing inwards and then throbbing outwards.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
And maybe if they used a masturbatory guide to demonstrate
how that might work. I don't remember that, Oh sure
you don't anyway. Rest in peace, Skype. It is officially done.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yesterday was its last day, and nobody noticed because nobody
was using it.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Sad to say goodbye to Skype, the Ogi of online
awkward silences. Cause of death could have been a virus,
or maybe it just froze mid sentence. The task manager
attempted to restart, but alas Skype had already logged off
once The King of Can You Hear Me Now? Now
(04:23):
just a ghost app haunting desktops may it rest in pixels.
Reporting from the Skype funeral. I'm heywood Yazumi.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Okay, see, dude, do they actually play this music at
black people funerals?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Mister o? What music is that? What you got boys?
Speaker 4 (04:43):
To?
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Man, it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I've heard of not like every time, but I've been.
I don't go to that funerals, to be honest with you,
but I have heard it played.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Like a corny music that they play at white people funerals.
Boy Frank Sinatra as I did it my Way?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Or what's that other thing they play? Not ave Maria?
That's pretty good?
Speaker 3 (05:03):
That's good, Yeah, especially if you get Aaron Neville to
sing it.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, who's that guy from the Four Tenors? He did
a song? They'd say three, No, it's pretty sure, it's
four okay, maybe five or six?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Sure? Well why stop there? You know? Six or seven? Anyway,
that's one of the songs too that they sing. Yeah, well, mate,
is Skypreston Peace.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I gotta think if I died, instead of doing the
Frank Sinatra version of My Way, I'd have them do
the sid Vicious version.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
That'd be cooler, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I'm on make a note. Yeah, you know if it
happens to come up later, No.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
It will trust me. I think you guys are all
going to outlive me. I accept that it is the plan,
all right. A mom in Kentucky says that her second
grader ordered thirty cases of Dumb Dumb lollipops on Amazon,
which is, for the record, seventy thousand suckers candy. At first,
Amazon wouldn't take any of it back, They wouldn't refunder.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Finally, let me correct.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
You after the way I read the story was, they
called Amazon, they realized what had happened. What a seven
year old ordered seventy that's about four thousand dollars on Amazon?
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
And Amazon said, whenever the delivery comes, just refuse the
delivery and send it back and Amazon will refund the money.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
I don't have any emotional attachment to this, but on
my screen it says at first Amazon wouldn't take them back,
but ultimately they refunded her.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
First they said, we'll take them back if you refuse
the delivery.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
And then what happened? Does this happen to your house?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
The driver didn't knock, just left them out stack the
boxes on the porch and left. And what would happen
if you left boxes of candy on the front porch
of a hothouse in South Texas separate story. The boxes
were delivered without ringing the bell or knocking. Then the
person that it was at home didn't have a chance
(06:57):
to refuse the little.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
No, I don't want those, send them back to Amazon.
So they got him.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Amazon said, well, we can't take them back now, it's
a food item. If they return a food item once
it's been handed off. But I'm assuming since this occurred
that they have had further contact with Amazon. Probably lawyers
got in touch. News stations picked up on the story.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Next thing you.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Know, Amazon has said, oh yeah, yeah, we'll happily refund
the money.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
But they weren't going to.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Boy, I'm glad you clarified that, because the thought of
Amazon not taking back somebody's refund is literally violence.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
That's not right. That is literally what violence says.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Here's Holly la Fovers talking about the massive order that
her kid made.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
I just panicked, and then when I saw what the
number was, just about finally, this was just a fluke
thing that happened. He told me that he wanted to
have a carnival, and he was ordering the dumb duns
as prozes for his carnival. So yeah, again, he was
being friendly, he was being kind to his friends.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Uh huh, dumb numb.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
So did you consider slapping him for ordering things he
shouldn't have ordered on the internet.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
You know your kid can be.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Disciplined without a swat on the butt. Yeah, just let
him know. Don't do that again. Don't go on the
internet and order seventy thousand suckers and spend thousands of dollars.
By the way, it's not even good candy. It's no
garbage candy. In the hierarchy of candy, I think we
all agree it goes like this. It goes Reese's peanut
butter cups, sour Patch kids, black licorice, everything else.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
We're not agreeing on anything. Noo, body agrees on anything.
But I know you love black licorice. That's what I
got you for your birthday last kind Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah,
I've still got that whole blocked in case you guys
want to just jump in there. Really, you didn't eat
any of it. I've been full. I've just been full.
I feel like you're being a little disingenuous right now. No,
(08:49):
I'm from here.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
Oh hold on, I feel like I caught that French disease.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
It makes things happen to you twice Wolton M. Johnson.
Oh this you did not know something? The boy. The
pope has a summer home. It's a palace. It is nice.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
It's a seventeenth century villa and in observatory with a
farmhouse on seventy five acres of farmland.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Is that for every pope or was it just the
one that died? Is that his personal vacation home.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Well they've had it since fifteen ninety six? Does that
answer your question? And it was no, So since Pope
urban the age, it goes back along ways before this
pope was ever alive. Well, not every pope, because this pope,
because this Pope was alive. Right, the first pope was
Saint Peter. He didn't have access to it. But fifteen
hundred years later the Pope's got their hands on this place.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Oh apparently it took him a little while to have mass,
massive fortunateate the Catholic Church is famous for today.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Does that threaten do you feel threatened by that? Is
that boy? You say it like with some stink in
your mouth there, like you're mad about it or whatever. Yeah, well, no,
why do people get mad about the fact that the
Catholic Church has.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Then they get mad about Harvard taking tax dollars? Harvard
got fifty three billion dollars. Set aside, point though, those
nonprofit Catholic Church got plenty of money.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
They did, and they got money from the government. It's
still mope.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
I agree, I get it, but I still I still
think the Catholic Church is less damaging than the thing
you're comparing it to.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
I think the people that in the Guzza strip are
gonna be happy the pope died.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Well, hang on, I didn't explain to you why I
brought this up. The building, the palace is named after Gandalf.
You know, you would think Catholics that love Lord of
the Rings would make a bigger deal out of this.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
I had no idea. Yeah, it's really.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Cool, and it's got extra terrestrial status. Oh I'm sorry,
extra territorial status. I guess that's different. No, that's the
same thing.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Is it really?
Speaker 5 (10:36):
So?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Aliens? Go there is that? Is this like area fifty
one for the Catholic Church? Kind of hell? The Pope
gets at edge on the rest of us. He's got friends.
He's got friends in out of space. Oh yeah, that's amazing.
I feel I wish you to listen to me now.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I feel like we're playing the wrong kind of music here.
Hang on a second, all right, explain it again, Billy.
So the Pope has an alien autopsy laboratory.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Definitely? Yeah? Wow?
Speaker 3 (11:00):
And who does he take there? No, the Pope has
a mobile health clinic. Now, okay, go ahead, tell us
about it. You're just being ridiculous with all of your
silly alien stories.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
This is a real story.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
The Vatican announced that the late Pope friends is this
popemobile is going to be transformed into a mobile health
clinic for kids in the Gaza Strip.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
It was one of his final wishes before he died.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
So if a kid in the Gaza Strip gets sick
or gets hit by a bomb or something, they're gonna
put him inside of a little.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
Bubble, put him into popemobile. It looks like a clown car,
and then he'll be healed. I guess does it have
miracle powers?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
So you're telling me, as they're driving that kid to
the hospital, he has to sit there in a silly
little car.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It looks like a clown car with a bubble on
top of him.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
So everybody in the neighborhood and can see that he
had a mortar shell hit him in the groinal area.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Is that glass or plastic or whatever it is made out?
Is that like bulletproof?
Speaker 4 (11:59):
Right?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Bomb stunle Sultan, because that's about the only way you
safe in the Gozle.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I can't imagine it's bomb resistant, but it's supposed to
be bulletproof.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
Yeah, I mean that kind of the whole point. How
could it stop a bomb? It's glass?
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And I think I found a story you're going to
be very upset with, Okay, dude. Tell a fifty one
year old man walked into a church in Pennsylvania, wandered
around the building for a while, looked through the lost
and found apparently didn't see anything he needed, and then
he approached the pedestal containing the Holy water, Oh God,
(12:30):
and relieved himself in it. I don't like it, I think,
So what do you do when you walk into the
church and there's holy water right by the door?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I was there yesterday. I go every Monday at noon
to Saint Michael's. I put my hand in the little
glass ball there and I and I doubt it's cement,
but it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
And I dab it on my forehead. I do that right,
and saw there's son holy ghost. Put your finger like
a finger bowl to rinse your fingers, so if you've
had a sticky meal, but it's it's blessed water. And
then you rub it on your face.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Some people just tap the water. I like to go
for a swim in it. It just feels good to
have the you know, the Lord on my hands.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
So you rub and you don't.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Know if somebody had relieved themselves in it and it
just didn't get caught on security camera or something.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You don't know, well, I mean you're right, we don't know.
Do you know that that is a second degree misdemeanor,
that's all. It doesn't sound bad enough. There should be
a worse punishment.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
It's called intentional desecration of a venerated object. And they
found this guy pretty quickly because the police are familiar
with him from previous run ins with the law, if
you can believe it or not, convictions for theft, criminal trespassing,
reckless driving, disorderly conduct, driving without a license, and indecent
(13:45):
assault without consent.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So that's the legal term obviously, but in Catholic terminology,
besides calling it sacrilege, it's profanation of a sacred object.
That yeah, it's used to describe the desecrating or misusing
of something that's holy.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
It does sound like a punishment all to be a
little stronger than a misdemeanor.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah, if you were leave yourself on our holy water,
we should be allowed to relieve ourselves on you.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
You know, if you could be in the room with
a guy by yourself for a couple of minutes and
you think you could straighten us, fool out, dude.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
It does piss me off, like it does make me
feel a little fire.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
In my belly. That's say on words.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
It wasn't supposed to be, but thank you. It makes
me angry. You're pod, I am po. Yeah, enough is enough?
How dare you come into this? If anyone's going to
disrespect the Catholic Church, it's going to be the leaders
of our religion.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
That's true. They kind of you corner to the market
on that for a while. And before we leave, which
just remind you when we come back tomorrow, I assume
all the cardinals will be sequestered by that point, because
it'll be you know, sickly am here be after lunch
over there and eatlly.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
So they should have shut.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
All the doors and windows, locked everybody in and get
ready to start that vote.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
If you haven't seen Conclave.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
On you know whatever Netflix or wherever it is, now
might be the perfect time.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
And today and the Catholic Church, we remember Saint Dominic Savio.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
He was with Donkey. He was the patron of choir boys.
I don't know. Oh, boy, that's unfortunate.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
It is. Yeah, he was canonized back in nineteen fifty
four by the Pope obviously, and apparently he was a
choir boy.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
And I guess he might probably must have died or
something like that. Yeah, if you canonized him, he did.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, well they're all dead. Yeah, that's true. Every saint's
supposed to be dead, Holy death, they say, and rest
in peace to him. But also, you know, he's one
of God's you know, he's a saint. So he's fighting
the spirit war right now. He's among us and around us. Yay,
congratulations to Elon Musk. Apparently the Media Research Center is
giving him an award today for being the best social
(15:56):
media personality. Doesn't that seem a little marginalizing when you
consider what he did?
Speaker 3 (16:00):
That's all he's accomplished in his life. He's big on
social media.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Sure, I think I could think of one more thing
that he does, you know, colonizing mars, maybe neuralink.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
He hasn't yet, but he is planning on it.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
You know, kind of like the COVID vaccine. I'm glad
that he's figuring out how to put computer chips in
people's brains in order to help care paralysis.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
But I would never let him do that to me. Well, no,
that would be ridiculous. You know who else would hate
that idea? Yes, I think I don't forget boys and
eat it every day.
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