Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Language. Please, it's not on conclave days. This man is
a member of a religious group here, clergy. Yes, Kenny
is now want to be priest, so we don't talk
like that in front of him. Thank you, Thank you,
mister Kenna. Defend you. Kelsey Grammer.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
By the way, speaking of Kelsey, Grammer cursed God after
his sister's murder until love restored his faith. This is
actually a tragic story that becomes very beautiful. I like
Kelsey Grammer. ALISAUNI was one of the cooler guys in Hollywood,
clearly the best cast member on Cheers. He shared a
tragedy of his life, a moment of unspeakable loss that
(00:38):
almost broke his faith in God. You know, back in
the nineteen seventies, his sister Karen was murdered, and now
he's not got a new book out. You could purchase
the book if you want. I'm happy to promote it
for him. It's called Karen, A Brother Remembers, and it
honors a life of his sister.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
So it's not about the lady that runs the ha
now in his neighborhood. You know what, that'd be a
good book too.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'll bet I don't have a problem with her because
people always make fun of Karen's But someone's got to
speak up when people.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Aren't acting right. Somebody had to say something anyway, It
says here in the book. Here's an excerpt.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
When the deaths occurred, starting with my grandfather than my dad,
and then when Karen was killed, hanging on to what
I'd always seen as a kind of a gift of
faith became hollow faith. It wasn't working. I thought, why
did I lose this?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I felt betrayed by it, and so I sort of
cursed God at one point and said, you know, hey,
I'd rather you didn't bother to help at all at
this point, because honestly, this was colossal. I'm not interested.
But then something changed. He realized God was there, God
was listening. Life isn't always supposed to be perfect. Sometimes
you get an l so you can appreciate the w
(01:45):
I'm actually kind of winging it here. It did its
first sermon.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, when you get sodomized or whatever they call it,
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa wan they call it when
they make you a preach. That doesn't happen when you're
a priest.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
It happens when you're a choir boy for crying out
loud billy, Yeah, get it.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Right, solemnization. Thank you. I actually didn't know that. I'm
so glad you knew that word, mister Kenneth, I've made
it up.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Here's my question. Why do I let Somalis run for office?
They dragged soldiers through the streets of their country, American soldiers.
Remember Blackhawk Down incident?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh, I remember it, Battle of Mugadishue, Remember that.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I'm sick and tired of ilhan Omar crapping on the constitution,
walking around the US capital saying f you to news
reporters while they asked her why she married her brusband
to get people into the country illegally.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Don't hesitate to tell you how. Look, she loves Somalia
and hates America.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
But where is she America?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And what do we do for her? Here? Saved her life,
saved her.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Life from a refugee camp. And you know how we
don't let foreigners become president? Why do we let foreigners
run for Congress?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Very good question.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
There's no reason at all we needs a foreign born
person to hold an influence. No, it's for America going forward,
that needs to change. I know back in the day,
a lot of people were from different cons I think
there's enough American born people. You know, they won't hire
foreigners at NASA. Guess why, because they're American jobs for Americans.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
We don't outsource federal jobs to people in different countries
because at the very least, let's save these jobs for Americans.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Right. Why would we do that with lawmakers?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Why would we let foreigners from another country decide the
rules in our nation? When you really think about it,
it's insane. And there are very few examples of foreigners
holding these positions in modern day times, and every one
of them has proven overwhelmingly they can't be trusted with
that kind of influence.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
That's exactly right. Both do we learn from any of this,
but apparently not.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Look at this guy that's trying to impeach Trump right now,
what's his name, Shrinu or Ishdu or whatever. That Indian guy,
the guy with Jimmy Fallon Bollywood, Jimmy Fallon with a twope.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Sri or Sri Lanka or whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, get him out of here. Ilhan Omar Tony. That
Rashida what's her name? Done with it. There's one member
of the squad that's born in America, and she's the
only one on the list that's even remotely attractive.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
You ever think about that? I'm just saying, just saying
something to think about.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Say if you were stuck, if you were stuck in
post apocalyptic times with the squad and someone told you,
mister Rowe, humanity mankind can't continue to exist unless you
and one of these women have consensual relations so that
humanity could still be be be birthed, birthing new children.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Who would Okay, who would you choose? I can't. I
don't even know. It's confusing, mister ow you know who
you choose. I know I'm down Juicy Booty.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Absolutely, you're not gonna get with the Muslim You're not
going to hook up with the Hamas Lady or the what.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
If Juicy Booty runs against the jazzy c.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I guess she is part of it. No, you're right,
I forgot about Jasmine. How do you forget about Jasmine?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
That's gonna be tricky because you know big juicy Booty.
But then Jasmine, she ain't lacking in the booty to
bat me neither. I find Jasmine to be pretty. I mean,
I'm you know, I'll be honest both, you know, equally crazy.
Oh they're all crazy lunatics. Yeah, you ever, I don't
know if you guys are aware of this or not.
Mister O, explain this to me. I've never really understood this. Apparently,
(05:12):
very very unbelievably attractive, beautiful women can sometimes be insane.
Did you know that this is news to all of us.
I know, never heard anything like that before. That's why
I'm gone up. The prettier the woman, the more normal
she is. It turns out, no, yeah, absolutely not no.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
But you know, but like the Insul community will criticize
attractive women for wearing makeup and having fake eyelashes and
stuff like that. I don't think they should do that.
I think that just proves they've never had a woman
spend the night before. Like, all attractive women wear makeup,
you know what I mean. They're like, ah, we prefer
the natural look. There's no natural look. There's just women
that are better at making it look like they're not
(05:50):
wearing makeup.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Huh. You know this, mister Kenneth, I'm unaware of any
of this. I don't want to be a part of
your conversation concerning to these women, and you're generalities that
to concern them.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Well, now that I've taken a vowus celibacy, I'm allowed
to talk about this one about silence.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Don't you also have to take a vow silence? No,
I don't think that's part. That's a ninja. That's a
totally diff Could we bring that back like the monks.
Monks do the silence thing, and look how popular they
are everybody like Kung food, didn't they You never really
hear about the monks, especially the Catholic monks. It's how
they're not talking much. The vowel silence is probably why
(06:27):
you don't hear from them.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Well, if you don't hear from them, how are they
going to say? Happy Mother's Day? Give your mom what
she rarely wants this Mother's Day, a new TV remote
just for her.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
You need a last minute Mother's Day gift for mom, Well,
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Well now thanks to Jamco, those days are over using
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(07:00):
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locking your TV on one station that's guaranteed to make
him avoid the remote completely, the Bravo channel, So all
Mom enjoys the reunion of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
The rest of the family can revel in Dad's frustrating
(07:21):
ability to change the channel. Hippy Kaya, mother, Father, You've
been blocked thanks to the all new electric remote control
jammer from Jamco. Get one for your mom today, because
next month they're programmed to do exactly the opposite for
Father's Day.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Tariffs that taxes down and our podcast is free. This
is the Lawnton in Johnson Show, Ring a mood today.
You know, I'm very excited. They should have started their
voting about fifteen minutes ago if they're on schedule, and
I would imagine the Catholic Church and the Vatican probably
keeping a pretty tight timeline there nine to thirty. Here
(07:56):
is four thirty in the Italy, okay, and so they
should would be writing their names down who they're voting
for and presenting them in that gold and silver urn.
If you watched conclave, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
They have. I didn't think cameras were allowed in there,
but they just showed a camera shot of all the
cardinals standing in front of what looked like red folders,
and then they went to a commercial break on Fox
News for some kind of a advil or something.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Maybe one of the He probably doesn't know it, but
maybe they You know how you slap a guy on
the back and tell him, hey, good luck in there, Padre.
They probably slapped him on the back and stuck one
of those teeny tiny little spy cameras on his what
do they call those things they wear around their necks.
You know, it's like collars, but it's not like a
(08:48):
priest callar. They got one of them things. It's a long,
it's very fancy, very dressy up, the kind of thing. Anyway,
probably gotta slip a spy cam in there so we
can see what's going on. But don't blame the the cardinal.
It ain't his fault.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Says right here, cameras are not allowed in the Sistine
Chapel during the conclave.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
It'll put the little spy cam in there.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
The conclave is highly secretive and strict measures in sure privacy.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Then I wonder why they allowed in the ladies room either.
But you know, every now and then, somebody puts a
camera in the ladies room, don't they. You know you're
right about that. People don't. People don't pay this. They
just don't pay attention to the rules anymore.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Somewhere in China someone is paying to watch you go
to the bathroom. I don't think that's appropriate. But we
got bigger news everybody. Finally, there is some representation in
Times Square for obese, dumpy black chicks. There they have
erected a twelve foot plus sized African American woman's statue
in the middle of Times.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Square, like like in New York. Yeah, in New York City,
ya Tom Square. Yeah, there's a big old here. I'll
put it up on the screen so you guys can
look at it. I don't know why they did this,
a big woman. There's no statue of like a tribute
to Michelle Obama.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
No, I don't think so now, as a slender white man,
I just want to know where's my representation.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
They don't have a white guy statue, you know, really
unflattering statue. I'm sorry, but that's just that's just terribly unflattering.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
It's not a good looking person, manny. It's they chose
a very unattractive person of not a flattering outfit.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Nothing. It's just a bad look. But I guess that's
the point, right yep, I think that is the point.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Let me ask the obvious question here? Why also? How
dare you?
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Oh? Oh, how dare you? And finally, who do you
think you are?
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
What do we need this for? You just brought out
all the weapons, didn't you? How dare you?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Look at the nipples are kind of protruding through her shirt.
It looks disgusting, her stretch pants, braids, very disrespectful.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I don't get the point of it at all. Not good.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah, it's a giant statue. Is it a giant statue
of Letitia James? Someone thinks it's Laticia James. Could be
it could be a lot of people online are guessing.
And then there's a photo.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
He's in the New York area, right.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
There's a picture here. I don't know if it's real
or AI generated of white liberals worshiping it. And I
don't know if that is real or not. But that
is kind of what's.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Happening about, right though, don't it? Okay, here's the next
obvious question. Who paid for it? I guess we did.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Huh?
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I mean that'd be my best. That's always us. We
are the suckers who pay for everything.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
And how much did it cost to get an obese
don't be looking woman statue in the middle?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
What was the point? Who whose lives are improved by this?
Who looks at that? Don't see the need?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Finally, we've got a statue of a woman who looks
like she's a part time uber driver and a bad
part of town.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Don't get you got to get somewhere, you know, then
you need her?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, when you got to get somewhere, you need her.
I am excited about Mother's Day though I love my mom.
I love your mom too, Billy ed And.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I know we'll we'll watch yourself now. And you know
what else, I love dogs.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
A new study shows that more than half of Americans
have a meal time ritual for their dog. Do you
have a meal time ritual for a little dick as
a matter of fact, Yes, what do you do?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I mean, if it's the ritual that you always feed
them at the same time in the same place, I
know they probably get a little bored with the same
thing to eat. People think they're doing their dogs a
favor when they give them, you know, table scraps, or
when they change their diet and and oh uh, you
know little fluffy here, he doesn't want the same thing,
boring food over and over again. If they were out
(12:11):
in the wild, they'd be eating the same thing over
and over again.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
You're right, And the ritual is good for their digestive system.
It's also good for their mental health. And it's not
just dogs. Billy ed you know you could do that
with your spouse.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Huh dou what?
Speaker 4 (12:24):
And now what it would sound like if a husband
talked to his wife the same way he talked to
his dog at meal time?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Oh my goodness, who's hungry?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Wifey? Is it you?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Is it you?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yes it is you could got beautiful face. You want
some dinking, you want some yummy numb numbs? Good he
made a special judge for you. Wait, okay, get it.
Who's the best eat in the whole world? You are?
You want a belly rub after?
Speaker 4 (12:50):
What it would sound like if a husband talked to
his wife the same way he talked to his dog
at meal time?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
That's pretty funny, but I don't think it would sound
like that. I think there'd be more slapping and kicking and.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, screaming and you know, probably sirens at some point.
But I forgot one of the routines is that. Yeah,
I always make a little dick sit before I give
him his bowl. Oh that's cool, you that's really meant.
This is good to get him to get, you know,
be used to certain things. I like to sing a
song to Melton when I'm feeding him. Do you sing
(13:21):
the same song every time? Or do you mix it
up depending on the mood?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
You know one of the crooners. He likes the uh,
he likes the rat Pack. He likes Dean Martin. Oh,
well you can't go wrong with you know, Frank. You know,
love and marriage.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I kind of thing when the moon hits your rye
like a big pizza, big a pizza pie. That's that's
kibble you get dried dog food.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, he loves it, and I give him a scoop
of pumpkin pure because it's good for his digestive system.
Sometimes I take a bite of it, and I gotta
tell you it's not bad, you know, really, yeah, what
he eats is pretty good. I gotta think, Okay, you know,
I have to know that some days when I'm feeling
lazy and I don't want to go to the grocery store,
I'll just eat his dog food with pumpkin pure.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
And it happens. Yeah, right, don't feel bad. I'm sure
everybody does it occasionally. You know, they put the nutrients
in it. It's healthy for you. You know, it's great,
and and it's helped my coat. Look how nice my
fur is. I know, I was looking at the fur
on your forearm, your your four forum fur right fur
arm exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I feel like it's shiny, yeah, and you know, and
it makes it looks good almost as good as the fashion.
And I love WJ dot Com promo code Summer twenty
will get you a discount on our Memorial Day.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
So look like the nutrition's already started helping you with
that shedding problem. I don't see nearly as much hair
on the floor underneath your chair.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
No, I that was just because I had a rash
because I slept overnight with that homeless guy in front
of the building outside.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Yeah Itchy, Yeah it was Itchy. Yeah that was his name.
I thought you've met him. I met Itchy. Yeah he
knew John. Don't forget boys and girls too. Everybody does
eat it every day. Hey again, you've reached the end
of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That
means you listened all the way to the end. Does
it mean we're going away now never to be heard again?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
No, no, no, there will be a new show tomorrow.
Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or we're off work.
But as always, you could go to waltonand Johnson dot
com and you could find all kinds of cool stuff there.
Our news blog links to our social media accounts. Believe
it or not, our personal lives are very boring. If
you comment on our social media pages, we might reply yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear from you. Yeah, so,
what's the big deal. Go to Walton Johnson dot com today.
I'm told there's a store. Oh yes, we do have
a lovely store and you could buy things there. Walton
Johnson dot com. What's not to Love
Language. Please, it's not on conclave days. This man is
a member of a religious group here, clergy. Yes, Kenny
is now want to be priest, so we don't talk
like that in front of him. Thank you, Thank you,
mister Kenna. Defend you. Kelsey Grammer.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
By the way, speaking of Kelsey, Grammer cursed God after
his sister's murder until love restored his faith. This is
actually a tragic story that becomes very beautiful. I like
Kelsey Grammer. ALISAUNI was one of the cooler guys in Hollywood,
clearly the best cast member on Cheers. He shared a
tragedy of his life, a moment of unspeakable loss that
(00:38):
almost broke his faith in God. You know, back in
the nineteen seventies, his sister Karen was murdered, and now
he's not got a new book out. You could purchase
the book if you want. I'm happy to promote it
for him. It's called Karen, A Brother Remembers, and it
honors a life of his sister.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
So it's not about the lady that runs the ha
now in his neighborhood. You know what, that'd be a
good book too.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'll bet I don't have a problem with her because
people always make fun of Karen's But someone's got to
speak up when people.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Aren't acting right. Somebody had to say something anyway, It
says here in the book. Here's an excerpt.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
When the deaths occurred, starting with my grandfather than my dad,
and then when Karen was killed, hanging on to what
I'd always seen as a kind of a gift of
faith became hollow faith. It wasn't working. I thought, why
did I lose this?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I felt betrayed by it, and so I sort of
cursed God at one point and said, you know, hey,
I'd rather you didn't bother to help at all at
this point, because honestly, this was colossal. I'm not interested.
But then something changed. He realized God was there, God
was listening. Life isn't always supposed to be perfect. Sometimes
you get an l so you can appreciate the w
(01:45):
I'm actually kind of winging it here. It did its
first sermon.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, when you get sodomized or whatever they call it,
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa wan they call it when
they make you a preach. That doesn't happen when you're
a priest.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
It happens when you're a choir boy for crying out
loud billy, Yeah, get it.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Right, solemnization. Thank you. I actually didn't know that. I'm
so glad you knew that word, mister Kenneth, I've made
it up.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Here's my question. Why do I let Somalis run for office?
They dragged soldiers through the streets of their country, American soldiers.
Remember Blackhawk Down incident?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh, I remember it, Battle of Mugadishue, Remember that.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I'm sick and tired of ilhan Omar crapping on the constitution,
walking around the US capital saying f you to news
reporters while they asked her why she married her brusband
to get people into the country illegally.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Don't hesitate to tell you how. Look, she loves Somalia
and hates America.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
But where is she America?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And what do we do for her? Here? Saved her life,
saved her.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Life from a refugee camp. And you know how we
don't let foreigners become president? Why do we let foreigners
run for Congress?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Very good question.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
There's no reason at all we needs a foreign born
person to hold an influence. No, it's for America going forward,
that needs to change. I know back in the day,
a lot of people were from different cons I think
there's enough American born people. You know, they won't hire
foreigners at NASA. Guess why, because they're American jobs for Americans.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
We don't outsource federal jobs to people in different countries
because at the very least, let's save these jobs for Americans.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Right. Why would we do that with lawmakers?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Why would we let foreigners from another country decide the
rules in our nation? When you really think about it,
it's insane. And there are very few examples of foreigners
holding these positions in modern day times, and every one
of them has proven overwhelmingly they can't be trusted with
that kind of influence.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
That's exactly right. Both do we learn from any of this,
but apparently not.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Look at this guy that's trying to impeach Trump right now,
what's his name, Shrinu or Ishdu or whatever. That Indian guy,
the guy with Jimmy Fallon Bollywood, Jimmy Fallon with a twope.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Sri or Sri Lanka or whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, get him out of here. Ilhan Omar Tony. That
Rashida what's her name? Done with it. There's one member
of the squad that's born in America, and she's the
only one on the list that's even remotely attractive.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
You ever think about that? I'm just saying, just saying
something to think about.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Say if you were stuck, if you were stuck in
post apocalyptic times with the squad and someone told you,
mister Rowe, humanity mankind can't continue to exist unless you
and one of these women have consensual relations so that
humanity could still be be be birthed, birthing new children.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Who would Okay, who would you choose? I can't. I
don't even know. It's confusing, mister ow you know who
you choose. I know I'm down Juicy Booty.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Absolutely, you're not gonna get with the Muslim You're not
going to hook up with the Hamas Lady or the what.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
If Juicy Booty runs against the jazzy c.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I guess she is part of it. No, you're right,
I forgot about Jasmine. How do you forget about Jasmine?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
That's gonna be tricky because you know big juicy Booty.
But then Jasmine, she ain't lacking in the booty to
bat me neither. I find Jasmine to be pretty. I mean,
I'm you know, I'll be honest both, you know, equally crazy.
Oh they're all crazy lunatics. Yeah, you ever, I don't
know if you guys are aware of this or not.
Mister O, explain this to me. I've never really understood this. Apparently,
(05:12):
very very unbelievably attractive, beautiful women can sometimes be insane.
Did you know that this is news to all of us.
I know, never heard anything like that before. That's why
I'm gone up. The prettier the woman, the more normal
she is. It turns out, no, yeah, absolutely not no.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
But you know, but like the Insul community will criticize
attractive women for wearing makeup and having fake eyelashes and
stuff like that. I don't think they should do that.
I think that just proves they've never had a woman
spend the night before. Like, all attractive women wear makeup,
you know what I mean. They're like, ah, we prefer
the natural look. There's no natural look. There's just women
that are better at making it look like they're not
(05:50):
wearing makeup.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Huh. You know this, mister Kenneth, I'm unaware of any
of this. I don't want to be a part of
your conversation concerning to these women, and you're generalities that
to concern them.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Well, now that I've taken a vowus celibacy, I'm allowed
to talk about this one about silence.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Don't you also have to take a vow silence? No,
I don't think that's part. That's a ninja. That's a
totally diff Could we bring that back like the monks.
Monks do the silence thing, and look how popular they
are everybody like Kung food, didn't they You never really
hear about the monks, especially the Catholic monks. It's how
they're not talking much. The vowel silence is probably why
(06:27):
you don't hear from them.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Well, if you don't hear from them, how are they
going to say? Happy Mother's Day? Give your mom what
she rarely wants this Mother's Day, a new TV remote
just for her.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
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(07:00):
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Mom enjoys the reunion of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
The rest of the family can revel in Dad's frustrating
(07:21):
ability to change the channel. Hippy Kaya, mother, Father, You've
been blocked thanks to the all new electric remote control
jammer from Jamco. Get one for your mom today, because
next month they're programmed to do exactly the opposite for
Father's Day.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Tariffs that taxes down and our podcast is free. This
is the Lawnton in Johnson Show, Ring a mood today.
You know, I'm very excited. They should have started their
voting about fifteen minutes ago if they're on schedule, and
I would imagine the Catholic Church and the Vatican probably
keeping a pretty tight timeline there nine to thirty. Here
(07:56):
is four thirty in the Italy, okay, and so they
should would be writing their names down who they're voting
for and presenting them in that gold and silver urn.
If you watched conclave, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
They have. I didn't think cameras were allowed in there,
but they just showed a camera shot of all the
cardinals standing in front of what looked like red folders,
and then they went to a commercial break on Fox
News for some kind of a advil or something.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Maybe one of the He probably doesn't know it, but
maybe they You know how you slap a guy on
the back and tell him, hey, good luck in there, Padre.
They probably slapped him on the back and stuck one
of those teeny tiny little spy cameras on his what
do they call those things they wear around their necks.
You know, it's like collars, but it's not like a
(08:48):
priest callar. They got one of them things. It's a long,
it's very fancy, very dressy up, the kind of thing. Anyway,
probably gotta slip a spy cam in there so we
can see what's going on. But don't blame the the cardinal.
It ain't his fault.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Says right here, cameras are not allowed in the Sistine
Chapel during the conclave.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
It'll put the little spy cam in there.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
The conclave is highly secretive and strict measures in sure privacy.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Then I wonder why they allowed in the ladies room either.
But you know, every now and then, somebody puts a
camera in the ladies room, don't they. You know you're
right about that. People don't. People don't pay this. They
just don't pay attention to the rules anymore.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Somewhere in China someone is paying to watch you go
to the bathroom. I don't think that's appropriate. But we
got bigger news everybody. Finally, there is some representation in
Times Square for obese, dumpy black chicks. There they have
erected a twelve foot plus sized African American woman's statue
in the middle of Times.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Square, like like in New York. Yeah, in New York City,
ya Tom Square. Yeah, there's a big old here. I'll
put it up on the screen so you guys can
look at it. I don't know why they did this,
a big woman. There's no statue of like a tribute
to Michelle Obama.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
No, I don't think so now, as a slender white man,
I just want to know where's my representation.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
They don't have a white guy statue, you know, really
unflattering statue. I'm sorry, but that's just that's just terribly unflattering.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
It's not a good looking person, manny. It's they chose
a very unattractive person of not a flattering outfit.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Nothing. It's just a bad look. But I guess that's
the point, right yep, I think that is the point.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Let me ask the obvious question here? Why also? How
dare you?
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Oh? Oh, how dare you? And finally, who do you
think you are?
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Like?
Speaker 1 (10:24):
What do we need this for? You just brought out
all the weapons, didn't you? How dare you?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Look at the nipples are kind of protruding through her shirt.
It looks disgusting, her stretch pants, braids, very disrespectful.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I don't get the point of it at all. Not good.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Yeah, it's a giant statue. Is it a giant statue
of Letitia James? Someone thinks it's Laticia James. Could be
it could be a lot of people online are guessing.
And then there's a photo.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
He's in the New York area, right.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
There's a picture here. I don't know if it's real
or AI generated of white liberals worshiping it. And I
don't know if that is real or not. But that
is kind of what's.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Happening about, right though, don't it? Okay, here's the next
obvious question. Who paid for it? I guess we did.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Huh?
Speaker 1 (11:06):
I mean that'd be my best. That's always us. We
are the suckers who pay for everything.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
And how much did it cost to get an obese
don't be looking woman statue in the middle?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
What was the point? Who whose lives are improved by this?
Who looks at that? Don't see the need?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Finally, we've got a statue of a woman who looks
like she's a part time uber driver and a bad
part of town.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Don't get you got to get somewhere, you know, then
you need her?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, when you got to get somewhere, you need her.
I am excited about Mother's Day though I love my mom.
I love your mom too, Billy ed And.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I know we'll we'll watch yourself now. And you know
what else, I love dogs.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
A new study shows that more than half of Americans
have a meal time ritual for their dog. Do you
have a meal time ritual for a little dick as
a matter of fact, Yes, what do you do?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I mean, if it's the ritual that you always feed
them at the same time in the same place, I
know they probably get a little bored with the same
thing to eat. People think they're doing their dogs a
favor when they give them, you know, table scraps, or
when they change their diet and and oh uh, you
know little fluffy here, he doesn't want the same thing,
boring food over and over again. If they were out
(12:11):
in the wild, they'd be eating the same thing over
and over again.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
You're right, And the ritual is good for their digestive system.
It's also good for their mental health. And it's not
just dogs. Billy ed you know you could do that
with your spouse.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Huh dou what?
Speaker 4 (12:24):
And now what it would sound like if a husband
talked to his wife the same way he talked to
his dog at meal time?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Oh my goodness, who's hungry?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Wifey? Is it you?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Is it you?
Speaker 4 (12:34):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yes it is you could got beautiful face. You want
some dinking, you want some yummy numb numbs? Good he
made a special judge for you. Wait, okay, get it.
Who's the best eat in the whole world? You are?
You want a belly rub after?
Speaker 4 (12:50):
What it would sound like if a husband talked to
his wife the same way he talked to his dog
at meal time?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
That's pretty funny, but I don't think it would sound
like that. I think there'd be more slapping and kicking and.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Yeah, screaming and you know, probably sirens at some point.
But I forgot one of the routines is that. Yeah,
I always make a little dick sit before I give
him his bowl. Oh that's cool, you that's really meant.
This is good to get him to get, you know,
be used to certain things. I like to sing a
song to Melton when I'm feeding him. Do you sing
(13:21):
the same song every time? Or do you mix it
up depending on the mood?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
You know one of the crooners. He likes the uh,
he likes the rat Pack. He likes Dean Martin. Oh,
well you can't go wrong with you know, Frank. You know,
love and marriage.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
I kind of thing when the moon hits your rye
like a big pizza, big a pizza pie. That's that's
kibble you get dried dog food.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, he loves it, and I give him a scoop
of pumpkin pure because it's good for his digestive system.
Sometimes I take a bite of it, and I gotta
tell you it's not bad, you know, really, yeah, what
he eats is pretty good. I gotta think, Okay, you know,
I have to know that some days when I'm feeling
lazy and I don't want to go to the grocery store,
I'll just eat his dog food with pumpkin pure.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
And it happens. Yeah, right, don't feel bad. I'm sure
everybody does it occasionally. You know, they put the nutrients
in it. It's healthy for you. You know, it's great,
and and it's helped my coat. Look how nice my
fur is. I know, I was looking at the fur
on your forearm, your your four forum fur right fur
arm exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I feel like it's shiny, yeah, and you know, and
it makes it looks good almost as good as the fashion.
And I love WJ dot Com promo code Summer twenty
will get you a discount on our Memorial Day.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
So look like the nutrition's already started helping you with
that shedding problem. I don't see nearly as much hair
on the floor underneath your chair.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
No, I that was just because I had a rash
because I slept overnight with that homeless guy in front
of the building outside.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Yeah Itchy, Yeah it was Itchy. Yeah that was his name.
I thought you've met him. I met Itchy. Yeah he
knew John. Don't forget boys and girls too. Everybody does
eat it every day. Hey again, you've reached the end
of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you. That
means you listened all the way to the end. Does
it mean we're going away now never to be heard again?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
No, no, no, there will be a new show tomorrow.
Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or we're off work.
But as always, you could go to waltonand Johnson dot
com and you could find all kinds of cool stuff there.
Our news blog links to our social media accounts. Believe
it or not, our personal lives are very boring. If
you comment on our social media pages, we might reply yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
Chances are we're just sitting around waiting to hear from you. Yeah, so,
what's the big deal. Go to Walton Johnson dot com today.
I'm told there's a store. Oh yes, we do have
a lovely store and you could buy things there. Walton
Johnson dot com. What's not to Love
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