Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, if you enjoy that, you want to Johnson Show
like we do, then you might also enjoy the Pursuit
of Happiness show in the afternoon with oh Keinny Webster there.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And as a matter of fact, I think do we
have a clip? Can we play a clip? All right?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
A Soviet arispacecraft crash to Earth fifty three years in orbit.
That's how long it was out there, crashed down to Earth.
It was a tragedy that Katy Perry wasn't on board
that thing. I think that's a tragedy. Hi, everybody, I'm
Kenny Webster. We are broadcasting live on a Monday. And
look who just walked in Local hool again. Jesse Payton
(00:39):
looking at his phone. Hey, yeah, writing tweets?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Are you sharing? You could share? No, I just had
to turn off my location. My parole officer can't know
that I'm here. I get that. Yeah, No, that's ununderstandable.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Yeah, you're in the same building as the Russian consulate
right now, Jesse. I know that because I briefly dated
a woman who wanted to go visit the Russian consulate.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Kenny, let's go, I've known you a very long time.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
You don't have to use the word briefly to describe
your relationships.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Oh there we go. Yeah, good, because I'm gonna how's that?
There we go?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I feel very uncomfortable with you positioning this phallax say
microphone in front of my face.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Kenny, you forgot to say black phallax.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Yeah, Jesse, I hate how you still lead with I
had a very brief relationship with a woman. You could
lead brief out, Okay, Ken, I know, I know, absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
It's no, it's true. That's absolutely correct. Hi, everybody, greetings
to those of you connected with us on social media.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Jesse is here today because we have comedy shows coming up.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
We're gonna be This is commercial for why we're here today,
and then we'll go ahead and start the show. Really,
you and I are gonna be in Jackson, Mississippi, Thursday,
May twenty second, and that's gonna be great, amazing. And
then next night Friday, May twenty third, we're gonna be
in Mandeville. Here. Why don't I put this up on
the screen so people could see that I'm not lying
(01:57):
to them if you're watching us on social media.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
There it is. Yeah, nothing on social media's ever a lie.
So y'all could. Yeah, no, that's true. Here good news.
Here we go, here's the fire, right, Ah, look at that.
Look how handsome we are. Man.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
The thing is, it's kind of misleading because it says
couple's therapy and we look like a couple.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
I know, I've heard that from a lot of people.
They're like, so you're gay. Now I don't get It's like, well,
you know, hey, now I just know I just got
caught fair. No, we figured. We just wanted to monetize
off of it.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
That's it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
But anyway, we're gonna be in Jackson, Mississippi, May twenty second, Mandeville, Louisiana,
May twenty third, Metterie, Louisiana, May twenty fourth. Who wouldn't
want to get marriage advice from two divorced middle aged
men who act like they're twenty.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Two year olds. Yeah, of course that's what we're out here.
We're out here bringing people together. Jesse, you and I
are we love love? Do we not? Well?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
You know, we celebrate love. We celebrate all things relationships.
And so if people want to attend this comedy show,
simply go to jessesfunny dot com. There's a website and
you could purchase tickets and it's a great date night
idea for you and your husband are why for girlfriend
or concubine.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
It's a wonderful date night. And we get a lot
of married couples. We also get single people come. You know,
it's a funny show. It's a comedy show. It is
a spoof parody thing, so we have a lot of
fun with it. But uh, yeah, we get more older,
middle aged couples who come out and you know, it's
a good date night.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
And I and I tell everybody there.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
That my goal in doing this tour of Couple's Therapy,
the relationship theme comedy show, is to get every guy
that comes to my show, uh, is to get him
some that night.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
And I guarantee it. I do a full money back guarantee.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Fellas if you're if you come to the show and
your wife or girlfriend doesn't give you any Uh, Kenny
stays at the Hampton and uh, you could just line
up outside his door.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
It's true, Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm and I'm
a generous lover. Why wouldn't you want to do that? Well,
you know I want up With that in mind, why
don't we start the conversation with this today.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
They're just wired differently, Jesse.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
A shocking portion of gen Z say they could form
a deep emotional bond with an AI generated partner, and
even when consider marrying one. According to a new study,
eighty three per percent of young people that would be
like younger adults born between nineteen ninety seven and twenty
twelve say they could develop a meaningful connection with a chatbot,
while eighty percent said they would even consider marrying one
(04:11):
if it was legal, which I don't think it is.
According to a poll of the most digitally native age group,
this is a staggering seventy five percent of gen z
also said they think AI partners would have the potential
to fully replace human companionship. According to a surveying that
included two thousand young adults people in their early twenties
late teen years.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Would you, ah, mat, you know what, I can't get along.
I can't get around without Siri, So probably yes, because
I'll stop maid conversation and ask Siria questions. So but
I Siri gets mad at me, she'll send me the
wrong way on GPS sometimes, So to make her jealous,
I'll make her read text messages from girls that I'm dating, so.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Well, you know, just like a jealous lover. Siria is
in trouble today.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Apple has to pay an exorbitant amount of money to
people like you and me. You might actually be entitled
to money if you've ever thought your AI may be
listening on your private conversations.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Apparently there's a little paola here.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Eligible Apple customers can now apply for their shirt of
ninety five million Siri snooping payout dollars.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
There was a lawsuit.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Sirih could have been listening to your private conversations at
some point for over a decade.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I'm sure they were.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Who among us hasn't had a conversation about car parts?
And then they looked at their phone and they started
seeing ads for it?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Right, yeah, Well, if Apple owes you money for snooping,
then my ex wife owes me billions that nosy chicks
I had air tags on everything? Is that right?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I feel like the AirTag thing is a weird way
to track someone because doesn't it warn them? I'm told
I don't remember. If someone's driving around in a car
and there's an air tag in the car, at some point,
it will alert them there's.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
A Wi Fi.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah that maybe I don't know, would never but doesn't
that kind of negate the point of the air tag?
Like if someone stole your luggage and they we're driving
away with it, all of a sudden the Apple AirTag
will say, Hey, there's an air tag in here, and
then they'd have the foresight the wherewithal just pull over
the car, runfle through your luggage, find the air tag,
throw it away, and steal your luggage.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
So what's the point of the air tag?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, I don't know the anonymity of that, but yeah,
you would think the only way that it would work
would be to not be detectable.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Getting back to the dating AI thing, Mark Zuckerberg says
that we will be friends with AI, and I want
to dismiss that because he's a weirdo and a strange guy.
But I use it for everything now once I figured
out how much it could do any problem. I have
a woman's angry at me. I don't understand this. I'm
asking AI, is this a pimple or is it a herpies?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Or what?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
You know?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
What the hell?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
You know? What I mean?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Like any question I have to ask it. By the way,
it was a pimple. It's fine. But still I was
gonna say, this would be a weird way for you
to tell me.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
But oh, that reminds me Jesse. You might have heard it. No,
But in all seriousness, Mark Zuckerberg a weirdo.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
But is he right?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I mean, look at all these young adults saying they
would marry Ai Kenny.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
The only robot I could have a relationship with is
my refrigerator. So that's it. It's the only thing I'll
wake up three times in the middle of the night
to go visit.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Have you ever messed with the smart refrigerators?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
It tells you when you're out of almond milk, which
I think causes autism.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Right, yeah, I think it does too.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
No, But what I like to do is go to
home depot and set the internet screens with the I
like to go to uh to porn sites and set
them there for in public.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
And like lows or whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Absolutely, you just set them to that and then people
walk by and they get to see midget porn.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, And that's great for young moms because then that's
a conversation they won't have to have later on.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, and and well, I hate that. I that I'm
pretty redundant because I'm only five eight. So when I
say midget porn, I also mean porn.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I think you're slightly above average for at least you're
in the window there.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
You're not like every girl who's ever lied to me.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Kid, I'm just trying to be a nice all right,
here's here's another question. I once met a famous midget
porn star in the airport at Shreefport, which is one
of the five which is one of the five places
where I'm a famous person. Right, if I'm in the
airport in Shreef, Louisiana, people will approach me. And I
ran into a woman whose name is Bridget the Midgety.
All weekend we were there doing in appearance. All weekend long,
(08:07):
people kept walking up to us. Hey, man, you guys
at the Walton Johnson show. Did you know Bridge at
the midgets in town? You should go hang out with her?
And I don't know why they kept wanting us to
do that. Finally we meet her at the airport and
she she's exactly what she thinks. She's short for a midget.
Jesse right, little eddy bitty thing, her. What is it
the help her dog, her support dog. What's the word
(08:28):
for that, emotional support dog? No, I think it was
like service dog. Yeah, her service dog was a mini
docs and it was a little dick. It was a
little Richard, you know what I mean, a little wiener dog.
I was fascinated by that and so small, And all
I could think about is if someone sexually attracted this woman,
(08:48):
are they.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Is that just a low key way of being a pedophile?
What do you think? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I don't have the midget kink, so I'm into Yeah,
it's my it's not my bag. I'm not sure that,
but it does make sense. If you get turned on
anything that's two foot eleven, I don't want you around
my children.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
It's very strange. All right, here's another one.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
A while back, they proposed a law federally, which passed
in a few states but not across the country, outlawing
child sex dolls. Now, to me, I think we kill
the pedophiles. I don't think you could fix them. I
don't think you could cure them. But as a mixed
bag of feelings about this, on one hand, I don't
want to think that that exists.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
On the other hand, isn't that just a shortcut for
federal agents to figure out who the pedophiles are.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Like anybody that bought this thing? If we keep the
sex doll legal? Horrible?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I know, But is that a way to figure out
who the predators are, to figure out and maybe give
them an alternative?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
I mean you think if it's if it's saved one kid.
I yeah, that's the argument against that. What you just
said is like, is it teaching them to do it?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah? No, I don't know that's fair. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
I do know that if you kill them, they can't
rape a kid anymore. I'm pro execution. You're very conservative
on that, very very much. So what's your most liberal policy,
weed or something?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Weed?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, we'd gay marriage.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
I don't care. Yeah, I don't care what you do.
I don't care if you do adults. For me, it
used to be war. I don't want to fund both
sides of every war. But now that's a that's a
conservative policy. Now it changed. I couldn't have been a
Republican twenty years ago. Yeah, and I'm not you know,
I can't tell you anything on an international policy.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I don't know anything. Can I grow up white trash?
So I'm not still very knowledgeable? Still white trash. Yeah
you could be white trash though and watch the news.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You know that, right? I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
No, So my most liberal will probably be, uh, you know,
being pro choice. I guess, you know, because I think
it could be a case by case basis or you know,
with stipulations.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Is how I feel.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I'm not one hundred percent pro life, but I've I've never.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Been in a I've never had a scare. I just
changed my phone number. Is that it? And usually that works? Really?
That's a thank you Jesse for that.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Hey, if you're watching us live right now on social media,
don't don't go anywhere. This will continue seconds from now.
If you're listening on the radio good news, you're about
to hear about some great local companies where you can
invest your money.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Hello, my name is Pedro. My favorite things to do
as smuggle drugs, pro create like a rabbit, and listen
to Pursuit of Happiness Radio with producer Kini Peace Stoopy.
All Right.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
An old photo surfaced of the Pope at a White
Sox game. He not only talks about how he's experienced it.
Imagine that being a white Sox fan.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Tough. Jesse as at Barack Obama white Sox fan. He
claimed he was. He said, I was from Chicago.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Well he's from Hawaii or Keya or wherever he actually
is from. But I don't really think he's a baseball fan.
I don't think so either. It's a pandering thing.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Hillary Couil likes to eat apple pie at his baseball games.
I'm like, you're just saying the most American stereotype cliche
things you ever heard.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, and he married a tranny. We know he doesn't
eat pie.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
He's trying to find that many were talking about with
the bridget.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
That's exactly correct.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
If you're just getting connected to us, we've been talking
about well, Jesse is a you know, he's an he's topical,
he's up to date on what's going on in the world.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But he's not. You're not like a foreign policy expert.
Now I'm not. You're more I'm a I'm a Penish joke.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Well that's yeah, Well that's okay, because maybe you could
help me figure this one out. Is Emmanuel Macron doing
cocaine for those of you that are watching us on
social media. This will make slightly more sense than it
will to people on the radio. But don't worry, we'll
we'll explain to you what we're looking at. Right now,
the president of France, Emmanuel Macron, who just coincidentally is
(12:39):
also accused of marrying a tranny, I don't know if
he did or not, is in a room with cameras
and they're talking about Ukraine or something.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
It doesn't matter, let's see. Hang on, here's the caption.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Macron, starmer and Merz caught on a video on their
return from Kiev. A bag of white powder is on
the table. Emmanuel Macron quickly pockets it hides a spoon,
a little mini spoon. No explanation given. Now Zelenski is
known to be a cocaine enthusiast. He had just hosted
them in the room. People are saying, to connect the dots.
(13:10):
We have a little video this year, and there's definitely
a white baggy by the way, who wears a dress
shirt with a hoodie. That's a weird only the French.
And there is a little spoon there. They start taking
photos and you notice Emmanuel mccron realizes it's there, and
then he hides the bag and the other guy hides
the spoon. People are claiming that they're doing cocaine. There's
(13:31):
the Ukraine flag in the background. It would certainly be
on It would certainly be on brand for these people
to use coke. I don't know, what do you think?
I think it's Alka Seltzer and Alcasilsa doesn't sponsor the show,
so they had to move it.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna go with that. Now, that's
definitely cocaine. Come on, it's coke. It certainly looks like it.
You know, wasn't there another one of these? A while back?
There's a band called what the hell are they called?
There's a band from Italy that got into trouble at
the Eurovision Awards for supposedly snorting cocaine and Manu Skin
(14:07):
that's the name of the band. Watch this video and
tell me if you think this guy is snorting cocaine. Look,
this is a very famous band.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
They had just won an award and a lot of
people claim he's snorting cocaine. And then his bandmate notices
the cameras on him and he shoves him. It does
look an awful lot, like he's snorting cocaine? Right, it does?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
What if it didn't amber heard do it on the stand?
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Is that right? Oh that's what people think. Yeah, it
looked like she that looks close as well. Isn't it
weird that people will just do cocaine in places where
they're supposed to be responsible.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
And you know what's funny is an I'm not gonna
say his name, but I tour with a lot of
comedians that have been on the road with a lot
and may smoking marijuana in a green room is a
normal thing, even in red states where it's not legal.
And uh, they'll let comics smoke weed and the green
room in a lot of places. But now a lot
of entertainers will try to get cocaine and do it
as well, and they do it openly like it's no
(14:59):
big deal.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
It's crazy. It makes me I don't like it. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
In the eighties or the seventies, cocaine was socially acceptable,
and then people realized how bad it was for your health.
Back then, there was a magazine called High Times. You're
familiar with this. High Times magazine would talk about cocaine
like it was no different from marijuana, And then the
studies started coming on people realized cocaine is infinitely more
dangerous than marijuana.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
On the other hand, has health benefits and stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
But I don't know, maybe we're just misjudging the coca
addicts because we don't use coke. Well, I've never even
try cocaine, can you know me. I've been sober my
whole life. I've never even been drunk, so I'm not
an expert on drugs.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Ironically, though, on tour, the guys call me Cocaine.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
That's my nickname. Why do they call you Cocaine Jesse.
They say it's because I'm white.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I'm fun at parties and before every show they all
do me in a bathroom stall.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Oh I ca Yeah, come to couple's therapy. Thank you
very much for explain to us, Jesse. All right, moving
along here in the news speaking of coke, Segue. It
brings me no pleasure to bag on pepsi, but the
people have with their almighty dollar. Recently, doctor Pepper became
the number two slot for sodas pop Pepsi's been knocked
down to three, so it's coke. Doctor Pepper, the former
(16:10):
king of pop that's you know, I'm from the Midwest.
Although it has been a few decades now, has been supplemented,
supplanted by what some may consider a surprising choice, doctor Pepper.
Is this just evidence that there's more people in the
South than we thought. Doctor Pepper very popular and very
popular in this That's my favorite drink. I got it
right here. That's what I'm drinking right now. You're drinking
doctor Petner. Not allowed to say that. I don't know
(16:31):
what I'm doing, but I love it. You could drink
doctor pepper is the best.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
It's sweet, and you go anywhere, and I hate most
bars that are all coke based.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
It's just cokes, Brighte and diet coke. But it doesn't
have any what is it. It doesn't have like, uh,
caffeine in it. For me, that's the best part of
soda pop.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
You know. It's the caffeine you don't do you know,
isn't that obvious? Right? Yeah? Uh, that's why you just
you supplement it with cocaine.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Yeah that she did caffeine free. But all right, I'm
doing a crappy job of segueing from one thing to
the other. But if you're gonna have a coke, you
might have it with a burger. And this is technically
a political talk show, so it brings me to this. Today,
here's our guy, John Cornyn, Senator John Cornyn, one of
the biggest rhinos in the state.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
People hate this guy.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Apparently in the he helped Joe Biden pass a gun law,
and he's was fervently anti Trump right up until he
needed to pretend he was pro Trump. Recently, he was
seen on social media pretending to read a copy of
Art of the Deal, and he was on page five
or something. He's take a picture of me reading this book.
Nobody thinks you're reading the book. And now is this
(17:37):
on Chimney Rock or fountain View not far away from
our radio station.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Trump Burger Htown just opened up.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
John Cornyn went to Trump Burger, which has no actual
affiliation with the Trumps. It's just owned by a fan
of Donald Trump who sells Hamburger's, and he was photographed
standing out in front of it as if he is
the a beef loving mega enthusiast. I don't know if
you've seen the picture of his brisket on the internet,
but it's pretty sad.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
It leads me to believe he doesn't eat beef. What
do you think? Yeah, he definitely looks like a flameing
homosexual there.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Sorry, I don't know if I'm yeah, I just I
think it's like, what size burgers do you? I feel
like trum Burger would only have one sized burger and
that would be huge, huge, huge, huge, huge.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Corning upset some people a while back when he posted
this photo of his brisket on social media. Now you've
lived in Texas for a while, Josey, would you react
to what we're looking at here?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
It looks like meat loaf? Is it? Catch up?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Like? What?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
That's terrible?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
This alone should get him kicked out of office, wouldn't
you think?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
So?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
That's who among us? And he made it. He clearly
didn't smoke it. I think he made it in the oven.
You can't make brisket in the oven. That's awful unless
you're unless you're Jewish, and then you could do whatever
you want. I'm not judging you, but yeah, that was
definitely made by a white lady.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
You think so? Yeah, that doesn't look good at all?
Are you what? Who makes the best brisket? The blacks?
I would think so? Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
If I see an old black woman cooking food. I'm
I'm happy, I'm good with it. Well, definitely ribs, right, yeah, absolutely.
You ever been to Memphis. I've seen a dead body
in Memphis and minutes later I still wanted to eat ribs.
Oh wow, Yeah, he was out in front of the
Blue City Cafe. Have you performed in Memphis before?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
You have several times?
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Been never there, but yeah, that's an interest.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Were you with Bridge at the Midget?
Speaker 3 (19:16):
No, I wasn't. I was with my ex wife. I've
told this story on the radio a thousand times. We're
driving to Beale Street from the freeway. We're on a
road trip Christmas week, late Christmas night, we're driving through Memphis.
Blue City Cafe is open twenty four hours a day.
Some of the best ribs you ever had in your life,
and you can get him at two in the morning
or two in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
We're pulling in from down the street.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
We see a man standing a cop next to a
man laying on the ground with a bicycle, and my
wife says to me, oh, that man fell off his bike. Well,
it's good that that CoP's going to help him. Boy,
he really must be heard. He's not getting up, and
we keep getting closer and closer. She's like, why doesn't
the police officer help him stand up? And at some
point seconds later she realizes he's dead right, And it
(19:58):
is a long, awkward pause, and I, I say, we're
still gonna get ribs, right, I mean, you know, I
don't want to not eat. We came all this way.
Maybe it was Joe Biden on the bike. No, I
that's right, it was him giving his inauguration speech.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I want to go back to Trump Burger because I
wonder if you go there and you if they change
the fries from French fries and they call them American fries.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Now I think they do be awesome. You want to
go eat there? I haven't been. I'm down.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I would definitely love We've given this guy in a
free advertising are three of my favorite things in the world,
Trump's Burgers in h Down.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Do you think so? I love it? I love that too, Jesse.
You know what else?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
I love traveling with you? This upcoming week not this weekend,
but next you and I are heading to one of
the coolest places in America, metaie.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
And that's that's gonna be exciting. We're going there.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Hang on, why don't I get that back on the screen.
Do I still have that here? For those that don't know.
Jesse Payton a very funny comedian. And I will be
in Jackson on Thursday. Not this Thursday, but next Thursday.
We're gonna be in that's the capitol in Mississippi. Do
you think we can get Tate Reeves to visit us?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Hey? Yeah, let's do it. We'll give him free tickets.
You know, the governor's name is Tates. Do you have
any to say about that? Uh?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
As long as there's no inn in taint Tate? Okay, okay,
Oh that's way different. Have you ever met a guy?
Have you ever meditate?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I have not. So there's a guy. There's a senator
named Lindsay. Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
There's a governor named Tate? Oh wow, and who doesn't
sound very intimidating.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Would you name your son Lindsay? No, I've never I've
like that.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Remember the owner in the GM of the Rockets used
to be Carol and Leslie. No, Carol Dawson and Leslie Alexander. Yeah,
that's it's very uh uh gender affirming.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
What's like a boy named Sue the Johnny Cash song?
Maybe it makes you into hardcore badass. You know Dick, Butkase,
you have a name like Dick Buckets, you're gonna grow up.
It kicks some ass, that's it, or you're gonna get
your ass kicks. You don't have any other choice with
Dick Buckets.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
It's like Endamica Sue his last name Sue, and he
steps on people's head.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
That's a good point. It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
I don't know who that is, but I love hearing
football player and he steps on dudes' faces when their
face mask comes off.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I need to learn more about sports. Yeah, he's a
lot sport.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Sports references are more in the indie rocket references that
I'm more. You go say together, we cover all the bases,
which is why we do couples therapy.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
There's were you can't miss us.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
That's right, politicians, nobody cares about sports athletes.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
You hate the bands. You've never heard of absolutely reference
of all.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Anyway, we want you guys to go, hey, I love
you all. Let's read some comments real quick before we
get out of here. Lindsey Lendsy Lendsey on YouTube says
loved seeing you guys in Hattiesburg.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Jesse drug my husband like no other made our night?
Speaker 3 (22:29):
What happened? What does she talk? Did you make fun
of her husband? I think I forget his name? What's
her name? Does she Lensey Lendsey? Does she show her
husband's name? Because I might have so. I love doing
crowd work, but I'm never mean.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
I don't roast the audience members when I When I
do CrowdWork, I like to do fun, engaging stuff. And
a couple's therapy is a lot of fun because we
take questions from the audience, and you ask relationship questions
and me and King get to make it funny.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
And we're real good at that.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, I feel the same way. Margaret says, Happy Mother's Day, Jesse.
What did you do for Mother's Day?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
This year?
Speaker 3 (22:57):
I drove fourteen straight hours non stop from Gatlinburg home.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Lindsay, my road assistant.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
She's got she's prescribed to adderall, and I took one
of her adderalls, and I drove fourteen straight hours only
stopping for gas. It's legal math, it's since there's Yeah,
it was awful.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I didn't sleep a wink lass I used to when
I was in my twenties.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I had a prescription for adderall, and I will tell you,
I think it was harder to quit doing adderall than
it was alcohol or Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I don't it's very addicting. I don't know it was.
Maybe it's not.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
And I was doing fine, and then we stopped at
a gas station and I squeegeed the windshield to clean
all the bugs off. But I was so messed up
on adderall that I squeegeed the bugs off the grill,
the hood, the side mirrors, and then I detailed the
whole car at Pump six at Buckie's in Mandible, which
will also be visiting again this week.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
James Lindsay says, James, you kept calling him Jimmy. According
to her, at the Hattiesburg I kind of remember that, Yes,
b D, Jimmy. I did do that. B D large
large mans launched docks in Jimmy.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Do you remember right before the Haddisburg Show, we were
at a gas station and there were three obese black
women in the parking lot of the gas station in bikinis,
and they were doing a photo shoot in front.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Of what I like a nineteen ninety four Tundra.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
It was like a nie I think it was an Ultima.
It's like we in these streets, and they would not
talk to me. I wanted to get my photo taken
with them.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I don't know. Was I not charming enough for them?
Speaker 3 (24:29):
I don't know it was you very waspy, especially were
in that environment. I'm Italian, I think, right, you think
I do I look waspy? I think I looked like
the dude who would say I'm not racist. My car's Italian.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
It's German. Oh that's even worse.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
That's way worse. Giddy all right, everybody, we love you all.
Hopefully you guys make hey. If y'all don't mind, we're
just moving around here on a Monday. If you guys
don't mind sharing this for us, we wish you would.
Dida says good afternoon. Didadda says our meals should always
have a refreshing drink. Doctor Pepper zero is awesome, says Jenny.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
For zero. I would never well, I just had a
Coke zero soon.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
It's the best doctor Member zero is the best sugar
free drink out there. The promotions guy in the studio
right next to us here drinks diet Mountain dew, and
whenever I see him thinking drinking, I'm like, you're the
guy Yeah, you're the reason they.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Keep making this. No, it's it's hey, buddy.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Of all the things they put in mountain dew, sugar's
the best thing for.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You, Bud. Hey, I love you all. Thank you so
much for watching. Share this video. If you don't mind.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
If you're joining us on the radio, you know, keep
your hands at two intent drive safely, everybody. We'll be
back bright and early tomorrow morning for more of what
you bought a radio. You are listening to the Pursuit
of Happiness Radio. Tell the government to kiss your ass
(25:48):
when you listen to this show.
Hey, if you enjoy that, you want to Johnson Show
like we do, then you might also enjoy the Pursuit
of Happiness show in the afternoon with oh Keinny Webster there.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And as a matter of fact, I think do we
have a clip? Can we play a clip? All right?
Speaker 3 (00:17):
A Soviet arispacecraft crash to Earth fifty three years in orbit.
That's how long it was out there, crashed down to Earth.
It was a tragedy that Katy Perry wasn't on board
that thing. I think that's a tragedy. Hi, everybody, I'm
Kenny Webster. We are broadcasting live on a Monday. And
look who just walked in Local hool again. Jesse Payton
(00:39):
looking at his phone. Hey, yeah, writing tweets?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Are you sharing? You could share? No, I just had
to turn off my location. My parole officer can't know
that I'm here. I get that. Yeah, No, that's ununderstandable.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Yeah, you're in the same building as the Russian consulate
right now, Jesse. I know that because I briefly dated
a woman who wanted to go visit the Russian consulate.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Kenny, let's go, I've known you a very long time.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
You don't have to use the word briefly to describe
your relationships.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Oh there we go. Yeah, good, because I'm gonna how's that?
There we go?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I feel very uncomfortable with you positioning this phallax say
microphone in front of my face.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Kenny, you forgot to say black phallax.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Yeah, Jesse, I hate how you still lead with I
had a very brief relationship with a woman. You could
lead brief out, Okay, Ken, I know, I know, absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
It's no, it's true. That's absolutely correct. Hi, everybody, greetings
to those of you connected with us on social media.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Jesse is here today because we have comedy shows coming up.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
We're gonna be This is commercial for why we're here today,
and then we'll go ahead and start the show. Really,
you and I are gonna be in Jackson, Mississippi, Thursday,
May twenty second, and that's gonna be great, amazing. And
then next night Friday, May twenty third, we're gonna be
in Mandeville. Here. Why don't I put this up on
the screen so people could see that I'm not lying
(01:57):
to them if you're watching us on social media.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
There it is. Yeah, nothing on social media's ever a lie.
So y'all could. Yeah, no, that's true. Here good news.
Here we go, here's the fire, right, Ah, look at that.
Look how handsome we are. Man.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
The thing is, it's kind of misleading because it says
couple's therapy and we look like a couple.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
I know, I've heard that from a lot of people.
They're like, so you're gay. Now I don't get It's like, well,
you know, hey, now I just know I just got
caught fair. No, we figured. We just wanted to monetize
off of it.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
That's it. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
But anyway, we're gonna be in Jackson, Mississippi, May twenty second, Mandeville, Louisiana,
May twenty third, Metterie, Louisiana, May twenty fourth. Who wouldn't
want to get marriage advice from two divorced middle aged
men who act like they're twenty.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Two year olds. Yeah, of course that's what we're out here.
We're out here bringing people together. Jesse, you and I
are we love love? Do we not? Well?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
You know, we celebrate love. We celebrate all things relationships.
And so if people want to attend this comedy show,
simply go to jessesfunny dot com. There's a website and
you could purchase tickets and it's a great date night
idea for you and your husband are why for girlfriend
or concubine.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
It's a wonderful date night. And we get a lot
of married couples. We also get single people come. You know,
it's a funny show. It's a comedy show. It is
a spoof parody thing, so we have a lot of
fun with it. But uh, yeah, we get more older,
middle aged couples who come out and you know, it's
a good date night.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
And I and I tell everybody there.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
That my goal in doing this tour of Couple's Therapy,
the relationship theme comedy show, is to get every guy
that comes to my show, uh, is to get him
some that night.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
And I guarantee it. I do a full money back guarantee.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Fellas if you're if you come to the show and
your wife or girlfriend doesn't give you any Uh, Kenny
stays at the Hampton and uh, you could just line
up outside his door.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
It's true, Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm and I'm
a generous lover. Why wouldn't you want to do that? Well,
you know I want up With that in mind, why
don't we start the conversation with this today.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
They're just wired differently, Jesse.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
A shocking portion of gen Z say they could form
a deep emotional bond with an AI generated partner, and
even when consider marrying one. According to a new study,
eighty three per percent of young people that would be
like younger adults born between nineteen ninety seven and twenty
twelve say they could develop a meaningful connection with a chatbot,
while eighty percent said they would even consider marrying one
(04:11):
if it was legal, which I don't think it is.
According to a poll of the most digitally native age group,
this is a staggering seventy five percent of gen z
also said they think AI partners would have the potential
to fully replace human companionship. According to a surveying that
included two thousand young adults people in their early twenties
late teen years.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Would you, ah, mat, you know what, I can't get along.
I can't get around without Siri, So probably yes, because
I'll stop maid conversation and ask Siria questions. So but
I Siri gets mad at me, she'll send me the
wrong way on GPS sometimes, So to make her jealous,
I'll make her read text messages from girls that I'm dating, so.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Well, you know, just like a jealous lover. Siria is
in trouble today.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Apple has to pay an exorbitant amount of money to
people like you and me. You might actually be entitled
to money if you've ever thought your AI may be
listening on your private conversations.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Apparently there's a little paola here.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Eligible Apple customers can now apply for their shirt of
ninety five million Siri snooping payout dollars.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
There was a lawsuit.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Sirih could have been listening to your private conversations at
some point for over a decade.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
I'm sure they were.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Who among us hasn't had a conversation about car parts?
And then they looked at their phone and they started
seeing ads for it?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Right, yeah, Well, if Apple owes you money for snooping,
then my ex wife owes me billions that nosy chicks
I had air tags on everything? Is that right?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
I feel like the AirTag thing is a weird way
to track someone because doesn't it warn them? I'm told
I don't remember. If someone's driving around in a car
and there's an air tag in the car, at some point,
it will alert them there's.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
A Wi Fi.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah that maybe I don't know, would never but doesn't
that kind of negate the point of the air tag?
Like if someone stole your luggage and they we're driving
away with it, all of a sudden the Apple AirTag
will say, Hey, there's an air tag in here, and
then they'd have the foresight the wherewithal just pull over
the car, runfle through your luggage, find the air tag,
throw it away, and steal your luggage.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
So what's the point of the air tag?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, I don't know the anonymity of that, but yeah,
you would think the only way that it would work
would be to not be detectable.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah, Mark Zuckerberg.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Getting back to the dating AI thing, Mark Zuckerberg says
that we will be friends with AI, and I want
to dismiss that because he's a weirdo and a strange guy.
But I use it for everything now once I figured
out how much it could do any problem. I have
a woman's angry at me. I don't understand this. I'm
asking AI, is this a pimple or is it a herpies?
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Or what?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
You know?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
What the hell?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
You know? What I mean?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Like any question I have to ask it. By the way,
it was a pimple. It's fine. But still I was
gonna say, this would be a weird way for you
to tell me.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
But oh, that reminds me Jesse. You might have heard it. No,
But in all seriousness, Mark Zuckerberg a weirdo.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
But is he right?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I mean, look at all these young adults saying they
would marry Ai Kenny.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
The only robot I could have a relationship with is
my refrigerator. So that's it. It's the only thing I'll
wake up three times in the middle of the night
to go visit.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Have you ever messed with the smart refrigerators?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
It tells you when you're out of almond milk, which
I think causes autism.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Right, yeah, I think it does too.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
No, But what I like to do is go to
home depot and set the internet screens with the I
like to go to uh to porn sites and set
them there for in public.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
And like lows or whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Absolutely, you just set them to that and then people
walk by and they get to see midget porn.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
That's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, And that's great for young moms because then that's
a conversation they won't have to have later on.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, and and well, I hate that. I that I'm
pretty redundant because I'm only five eight. So when I
say midget porn, I also mean porn.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I think you're slightly above average for at least you're
in the window there.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
You're not like every girl who's ever lied to me.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Kid, I'm just trying to be a nice all right,
here's here's another question. I once met a famous midget
porn star in the airport at Shreefport, which is one
of the five which is one of the five places
where I'm a famous person. Right, if I'm in the
airport in Shreef, Louisiana, people will approach me. And I
ran into a woman whose name is Bridget the Midgety.
All weekend we were there doing in appearance. All weekend long,
(08:07):
people kept walking up to us. Hey, man, you guys
at the Walton Johnson show. Did you know Bridge at
the midgets in town? You should go hang out with her?
And I don't know why they kept wanting us to
do that. Finally we meet her at the airport and
she she's exactly what she thinks. She's short for a midget.
Jesse right, little eddy bitty thing, her. What is it
the help her dog, her support dog. What's the word
(08:28):
for that, emotional support dog? No, I think it was
like service dog. Yeah, her service dog was a mini
docs and it was a little dick. It was a
little Richard, you know what I mean, a little wiener dog.
I was fascinated by that and so small, And all
I could think about is if someone sexually attracted this woman,
(08:48):
are they.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Is that just a low key way of being a pedophile?
What do you think? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I don't have the midget kink, so I'm into Yeah,
it's my it's not my bag. I'm not sure that,
but it does make sense. If you get turned on
anything that's two foot eleven, I don't want you around
my children.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
It's very strange. All right, here's another one.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
A while back, they proposed a law federally, which passed
in a few states but not across the country, outlawing
child sex dolls. Now, to me, I think we kill
the pedophiles. I don't think you could fix them. I
don't think you could cure them. But as a mixed
bag of feelings about this, on one hand, I don't
want to think that that exists.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
On the other hand, isn't that just a shortcut for
federal agents to figure out who the pedophiles are.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Like anybody that bought this thing? If we keep the
sex doll legal? Horrible?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
I know, But is that a way to figure out
who the predators are, to figure out and maybe give
them an alternative?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
I mean you think if it's if it's saved one kid.
I yeah, that's the argument against that. What you just
said is like, is it teaching them to do it?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah? No, I don't know that's fair. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
I do know that if you kill them, they can't
rape a kid anymore. I'm pro execution. You're very conservative
on that, very very much. So what's your most liberal policy,
weed or something?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Weed?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, we'd gay marriage.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
I don't care. Yeah, I don't care what you do.
I don't care if you do adults. For me, it
used to be war. I don't want to fund both
sides of every war. But now that's a that's a
conservative policy. Now it changed. I couldn't have been a
Republican twenty years ago. Yeah, and I'm not you know,
I can't tell you anything on an international policy.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I don't know anything. Can I grow up white trash?
So I'm not still very knowledgeable? Still white trash. Yeah
you could be white trash though and watch the news.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You know that, right? I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:32):
No, So my most liberal will probably be, uh, you know,
being pro choice. I guess, you know, because I think
it could be a case by case basis or you know,
with stipulations.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Is how I feel.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I'm not one hundred percent pro life, but I've I've never.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Been in a I've never had a scare. I just
changed my phone number. Is that it? And usually that works? Really?
That's a thank you Jesse for that.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Hey, if you're watching us live right now on social media,
don't don't go anywhere. This will continue seconds from now.
If you're listening on the radio good news, you're about
to hear about some great local companies where you can
invest your money.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Hello, my name is Pedro. My favorite things to do
as smuggle drugs, pro create like a rabbit, and listen
to Pursuit of Happiness Radio with producer Kini Peace Stoopy.
All Right.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
An old photo surfaced of the Pope at a White
Sox game. He not only talks about how he's experienced it.
Imagine that being a white Sox fan.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Tough. Jesse as at Barack Obama white Sox fan. He
claimed he was. He said, I was from Chicago.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Well he's from Hawaii or Keya or wherever he actually
is from. But I don't really think he's a baseball fan.
I don't think so either. It's a pandering thing.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Hillary Couil likes to eat apple pie at his baseball games.
I'm like, you're just saying the most American stereotype cliche
things you ever heard.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Yeah, and he married a tranny. We know he doesn't
eat pie.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
He's trying to find that many were talking about with
the bridget.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
That's exactly correct.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
If you're just getting connected to us, we've been talking
about well, Jesse is a you know, he's an he's topical,
he's up to date on what's going on in the world.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But he's not. You're not like a foreign policy expert.
Now I'm not. You're more I'm a I'm a Penish joke.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Well that's yeah, Well that's okay, because maybe you could
help me figure this one out. Is Emmanuel Macron doing
cocaine for those of you that are watching us on
social media. This will make slightly more sense than it
will to people on the radio. But don't worry, we'll
we'll explain to you what we're looking at. Right now,
the president of France, Emmanuel Macron, who just coincidentally is
(12:39):
also accused of marrying a tranny, I don't know if
he did or not, is in a room with cameras
and they're talking about Ukraine or something.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
It doesn't matter, let's see. Hang on, here's the caption.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
Macron, starmer and Merz caught on a video on their
return from Kiev. A bag of white powder is on
the table. Emmanuel Macron quickly pockets it hides a spoon,
a little mini spoon. No explanation given. Now Zelenski is
known to be a cocaine enthusiast. He had just hosted
them in the room. People are saying, to connect the dots.
(13:10):
We have a little video this year, and there's definitely
a white baggy by the way, who wears a dress
shirt with a hoodie. That's a weird only the French.
And there is a little spoon there. They start taking
photos and you notice Emmanuel mccron realizes it's there, and
then he hides the bag and the other guy hides
the spoon. People are claiming that they're doing cocaine. There's
(13:31):
the Ukraine flag in the background. It would certainly be
on It would certainly be on brand for these people
to use coke. I don't know, what do you think?
I think it's Alka Seltzer and Alcasilsa doesn't sponsor the show,
so they had to move it.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna go with that. Now, that's
definitely cocaine. Come on, it's coke. It certainly looks like it.
You know, wasn't there another one of these? A while back?
There's a band called what the hell are they called?
There's a band from Italy that got into trouble at
the Eurovision Awards for supposedly snorting cocaine and Manu Skin
(14:07):
that's the name of the band. Watch this video and
tell me if you think this guy is snorting cocaine. Look,
this is a very famous band.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
They had just won an award and a lot of
people claim he's snorting cocaine. And then his bandmate notices
the cameras on him and he shoves him. It does
look an awful lot, like he's snorting cocaine? Right, it does?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
What if it didn't amber heard do it on the stand?
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Is that right? Oh that's what people think. Yeah, it
looked like she that looks close as well. Isn't it
weird that people will just do cocaine in places where
they're supposed to be responsible.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
And you know what's funny is an I'm not gonna
say his name, but I tour with a lot of
comedians that have been on the road with a lot
and may smoking marijuana in a green room is a
normal thing, even in red states where it's not legal.
And uh, they'll let comics smoke weed and the green
room in a lot of places. But now a lot
of entertainers will try to get cocaine and do it
as well, and they do it openly like it's no
(14:59):
big deal.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
It's crazy. It makes me I don't like it. I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
In the eighties or the seventies, cocaine was socially acceptable,
and then people realized how bad it was for your health.
Back then, there was a magazine called High Times. You're
familiar with this. High Times magazine would talk about cocaine
like it was no different from marijuana, And then the
studies started coming on people realized cocaine is infinitely more
dangerous than marijuana.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
On the other hand, has health benefits and stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
But I don't know, maybe we're just misjudging the coca
addicts because we don't use coke. Well, I've never even
try cocaine, can you know me. I've been sober my
whole life. I've never even been drunk, so I'm not
an expert on drugs.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Ironically, though, on tour, the guys call me Cocaine.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
That's my nickname. Why do they call you Cocaine Jesse.
They say it's because I'm white.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I'm fun at parties and before every show they all
do me in a bathroom stall.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Oh I ca Yeah, come to couple's therapy. Thank you
very much for explain to us, Jesse. All right, moving
along here in the news speaking of coke, Segue. It
brings me no pleasure to bag on pepsi, but the
people have with their almighty dollar. Recently, doctor Pepper became
the number two slot for sodas pop Pepsi's been knocked
down to three, so it's coke. Doctor Pepper, the former
(16:10):
king of pop that's you know, I'm from the Midwest.
Although it has been a few decades now, has been supplemented,
supplanted by what some may consider a surprising choice, doctor Pepper.
Is this just evidence that there's more people in the
South than we thought. Doctor Pepper very popular and very
popular in this That's my favorite drink. I got it
right here. That's what I'm drinking right now. You're drinking
doctor Petner. Not allowed to say that. I don't know
(16:31):
what I'm doing, but I love it. You could drink
doctor pepper is the best.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
It's sweet, and you go anywhere, and I hate most
bars that are all coke based.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
It's just cokes, Brighte and diet coke. But it doesn't
have any what is it. It doesn't have like, uh,
caffeine in it. For me, that's the best part of
soda pop.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
You know. It's the caffeine you don't do you know,
isn't that obvious? Right? Yeah? Uh, that's why you just
you supplement it with cocaine.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Yeah that she did caffeine free. But all right, I'm
doing a crappy job of segueing from one thing to
the other. But if you're gonna have a coke, you
might have it with a burger. And this is technically
a political talk show, so it brings me to this. Today,
here's our guy, John Cornyn, Senator John Cornyn, one of
the biggest rhinos in the state.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
People hate this guy.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Apparently in the he helped Joe Biden pass a gun law,
and he's was fervently anti Trump right up until he
needed to pretend he was pro Trump. Recently, he was
seen on social media pretending to read a copy of
Art of the Deal, and he was on page five
or something. He's take a picture of me reading this book.
Nobody thinks you're reading the book. And now is this
(17:37):
on Chimney Rock or fountain View not far away from
our radio station.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Trump Burger Htown just opened up.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
John Cornyn went to Trump Burger, which has no actual
affiliation with the Trumps. It's just owned by a fan
of Donald Trump who sells Hamburger's, and he was photographed
standing out in front of it as if he is
the a beef loving mega enthusiast. I don't know if
you've seen the picture of his brisket on the internet,
but it's pretty sad.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
It leads me to believe he doesn't eat beef. What
do you think? Yeah, he definitely looks like a flameing
homosexual there.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Sorry, I don't know if I'm yeah, I just I
think it's like, what size burgers do you? I feel
like trum Burger would only have one sized burger and
that would be huge, huge, huge, huge, huge.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Corning upset some people a while back when he posted
this photo of his brisket on social media. Now you've
lived in Texas for a while, Josey, would you react
to what we're looking at here?
Speaker 2 (18:29):
It looks like meat loaf? Is it? Catch up?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Like? What?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
That's terrible?
Speaker 3 (18:32):
This alone should get him kicked out of office, wouldn't
you think?
Speaker 2 (18:35):
So?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
That's who among us? And he made it. He clearly
didn't smoke it. I think he made it in the oven.
You can't make brisket in the oven. That's awful unless
you're unless you're Jewish, and then you could do whatever
you want. I'm not judging you, but yeah, that was
definitely made by a white lady.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
You think so? Yeah, that doesn't look good at all?
Are you what? Who makes the best brisket? The blacks?
I would think so? Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
If I see an old black woman cooking food. I'm
I'm happy, I'm good with it. Well, definitely ribs, right, yeah, absolutely.
You ever been to Memphis. I've seen a dead body
in Memphis and minutes later I still wanted to eat ribs.
Oh wow, Yeah, he was out in front of the
Blue City Cafe. Have you performed in Memphis before?
Speaker 2 (19:11):
You have several times?
Speaker 3 (19:12):
Been never there, but yeah, that's an interest.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Were you with Bridge at the Midget?
Speaker 3 (19:16):
No, I wasn't. I was with my ex wife. I've
told this story on the radio a thousand times. We're
driving to Beale Street from the freeway. We're on a
road trip Christmas week, late Christmas night, we're driving through Memphis.
Blue City Cafe is open twenty four hours a day.
Some of the best ribs you ever had in your life,
and you can get him at two in the morning
or two in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
We're pulling in from down the street.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
We see a man standing a cop next to a
man laying on the ground with a bicycle, and my
wife says to me, oh, that man fell off his bike. Well,
it's good that that CoP's going to help him. Boy,
he really must be heard. He's not getting up, and
we keep getting closer and closer. She's like, why doesn't
the police officer help him stand up? And at some
point seconds later she realizes he's dead right, And it
(19:58):
is a long, awkward pause, and I, I say, we're
still gonna get ribs, right, I mean, you know, I
don't want to not eat. We came all this way.
Maybe it was Joe Biden on the bike. No, I
that's right, it was him giving his inauguration speech.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I want to go back to Trump Burger because I
wonder if you go there and you if they change
the fries from French fries and they call them American fries.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Now I think they do be awesome. You want to
go eat there? I haven't been. I'm down.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
I would definitely love We've given this guy in a
free advertising are three of my favorite things in the world,
Trump's Burgers in h Down.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Do you think so? I love it? I love that too, Jesse.
You know what else?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
I love traveling with you? This upcoming week not this weekend,
but next you and I are heading to one of
the coolest places in America, metaie.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
And that's that's gonna be exciting. We're going there.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Hang on, why don't I get that back on the screen.
Do I still have that here? For those that don't know.
Jesse Payton a very funny comedian. And I will be
in Jackson on Thursday. Not this Thursday, but next Thursday.
We're gonna be in that's the capitol in Mississippi. Do
you think we can get Tate Reeves to visit us?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Hey? Yeah, let's do it. We'll give him free tickets.
You know, the governor's name is Tates. Do you have
any to say about that? Uh?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
As long as there's no inn in taint Tate? Okay, okay,
Oh that's way different. Have you ever met a guy?
Have you ever meditate?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
I have not. So there's a guy. There's a senator
named Lindsay. Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
There's a governor named Tate? Oh wow, and who doesn't
sound very intimidating.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Would you name your son Lindsay? No, I've never I've
like that.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Remember the owner in the GM of the Rockets used
to be Carol and Leslie. No, Carol Dawson and Leslie Alexander. Yeah,
that's it's very uh uh gender affirming.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
What's like a boy named Sue the Johnny Cash song?
Maybe it makes you into hardcore badass. You know Dick, Butkase,
you have a name like Dick Buckets, you're gonna grow up.
It kicks some ass, that's it, or you're gonna get
your ass kicks. You don't have any other choice with
Dick Buckets.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
It's like Endamica Sue his last name Sue, and he
steps on people's head.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
That's a good point. It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
I don't know who that is, but I love hearing
football player and he steps on dudes' faces when their
face mask comes off.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
I need to learn more about sports. Yeah, he's a
lot sport.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Sports references are more in the indie rocket references that
I'm more. You go say together, we cover all the bases,
which is why we do couples therapy.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
There's were you can't miss us.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
That's right, politicians, nobody cares about sports athletes.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
You hate the bands. You've never heard of absolutely reference
of all.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
Anyway, we want you guys to go, hey, I love
you all. Let's read some comments real quick before we
get out of here. Lindsey Lendsy Lendsey on YouTube says
loved seeing you guys in Hattiesburg.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Jesse drug my husband like no other made our night?
Speaker 3 (22:29):
What happened? What does she talk? Did you make fun
of her husband? I think I forget his name? What's
her name? Does she Lensey Lendsey? Does she show her
husband's name? Because I might have so. I love doing
crowd work, but I'm never mean.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
I don't roast the audience members when I When I
do CrowdWork, I like to do fun, engaging stuff. And
a couple's therapy is a lot of fun because we
take questions from the audience, and you ask relationship questions
and me and King get to make it funny.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
And we're real good at that.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, I feel the same way. Margaret says, Happy Mother's Day, Jesse.
What did you do for Mother's Day?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
This year?
Speaker 3 (22:57):
I drove fourteen straight hours non stop from Gatlinburg home.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Lindsay, my road assistant.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
She's got she's prescribed to adderall, and I took one
of her adderalls, and I drove fourteen straight hours only
stopping for gas. It's legal math, it's since there's Yeah,
it was awful.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I didn't sleep a wink lass I used to when
I was in my twenties.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I had a prescription for adderall, and I will tell you,
I think it was harder to quit doing adderall than
it was alcohol or Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I don't it's very addicting. I don't know it was.
Maybe it's not.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
And I was doing fine, and then we stopped at
a gas station and I squeegeed the windshield to clean
all the bugs off. But I was so messed up
on adderall that I squeegeed the bugs off the grill,
the hood, the side mirrors, and then I detailed the
whole car at Pump six at Buckie's in Mandible, which
will also be visiting again this week.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
James Lindsay says, James, you kept calling him Jimmy. According
to her, at the Hattiesburg I kind of remember that, Yes,
b D, Jimmy. I did do that. B D large
large mans launched docks in Jimmy.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Do you remember right before the Haddisburg Show, we were
at a gas station and there were three obese black
women in the parking lot of the gas station in bikinis,
and they were doing a photo shoot in front.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Of what I like a nineteen ninety four Tundra.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
It was like a nie I think it was an Ultima.
It's like we in these streets, and they would not
talk to me. I wanted to get my photo taken
with them.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
I don't know. Was I not charming enough for them?
Speaker 3 (24:29):
I don't know it was you very waspy, especially were
in that environment. I'm Italian, I think, right, you think
I do I look waspy? I think I looked like
the dude who would say I'm not racist. My car's Italian.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
It's German. Oh that's even worse.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
That's way worse. Giddy all right, everybody, we love you all.
Hopefully you guys make hey. If y'all don't mind, we're
just moving around here on a Monday. If you guys
don't mind sharing this for us, we wish you would.
Dida says good afternoon. Didadda says our meals should always
have a refreshing drink. Doctor Pepper zero is awesome, says Jenny.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
For zero. I would never well, I just had a
Coke zero soon.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
It's the best doctor Member zero is the best sugar
free drink out there. The promotions guy in the studio
right next to us here drinks diet Mountain dew, and
whenever I see him thinking drinking, I'm like, you're the
guy Yeah, you're the reason they.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Keep making this. No, it's it's hey, buddy.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Of all the things they put in mountain dew, sugar's
the best thing for.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You, Bud. Hey, I love you all. Thank you so
much for watching. Share this video. If you don't mind.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
If you're joining us on the radio, you know, keep
your hands at two intent drive safely, everybody. We'll be
back bright and early tomorrow morning for more of what
you bought a radio. You are listening to the Pursuit
of Happiness Radio. Tell the government to kiss your ass
(25:48):
when you listen to this show.
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