Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Mister, I get a rolling on this. A fully grown
man should never use emojis unless he's flirting with a woman.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Unless there's the possibility of getting through, and then it's
whatever you want to do that as long as you
pay off.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
You know, in the right way, because to me, emoji
usage is very emasculating.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
It.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
But if it gets you laid, he.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Said, with a heart with a crack in it, yeah,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
There's always exceptions to everything. For example, you.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Wouldn't send a birthday cake to I don't know, mister
t this morning. You know, Well, that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Just because it's your birthday, it doesn't have to be
your birthday to get the grocery store birthday cake.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's true. A famous actor once told us. Apparently you
can go in and get a birthday cake and eat
it even if it's not your birthday.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yeah, exactly, even if it's not your birthday, Dad.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
What's on your face?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Birthday cake? I just ate a birthday cake.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Whose birthday is it?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
No, Biden, they sell him at the grocery store. You
can get him anytime you want, any even if it's
not your birthday.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Even if it's mister T's birthday.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah, not not yours, even if it's way, Happy birthday
to be a Barkas, be a barrakas. That's my guide.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Ye, clubber Lang, which one was the better name? Clubber
is a great name for a boxer, don't you think,
especially one that doesn't, you know, have the finesse of
a skillful pugilist.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
So I'm going to guess that that was probably that
was his name in Rocky right, was that yeah? In
Rocky three? Because I don't remember that, but it made
sense as soon as you said it, kind of like
the lyrics to the Cheers theme.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Sure. Yeah, Now you know, mister T is seventy three
years old today.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I've hung out with him before. There's photos on the
internet of us hanging out, and he told me that
even though he doesn't wear the gold around his neck anymore,
he still has the gold in his heart. Oh, of
course he did, because apparently the bank can't repossess.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
The gold in your heart. Yeah, they can't get that
and a bank of company everything else.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
That's what he told me.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Oh, happy birthday to goat Jay. I guess he pronounce
this goat got ya. That's also how it's spelled.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
She famously sang the song Somebody that I Used to Know,
which made like a weird comeback recently because that song
that women use in TikTok videos hypnotize, that uses the
same beat. No, not hypnotize. What's it called anxiety, That's
what it's called. Yeah, anyway, anyway, goat Yay forty five.
(02:34):
Oh yeah, he's old and washed up at this point. Yeah,
Judge Ryan Hold, that was Billy Rosewood and Beverly Hills Cop.
But he was also Brad in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
He's now sixty eight years old. See, it's the same song,
but this is doughci anxiety, different lyrics. You could just
take a song that already exists, changed the lyrics. Al
(02:54):
Franken is seventy four, Boo, Al Frankin sucks.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Leo Sayer sent seven. Ronald Isley of the Isisley Brothers
is eighty four. Somebody's singing over your birthday of Ronald Eisley.
That ain't cool. I would never down with that. I
don't have any songs by Ronald Eyes no longer with us,
notorious be it.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Gee.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
That's why I said the word hypnotized. I had this
on the screen.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
He would have been fifty three, but he didn't quite
make it. You gotta wonder if he was still alive
right now.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
If he was, what would he say, knowing his death
helped launch the career of a rape monster.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
If he was alive today, he wouldn't have much to
say about his death, would he? Well?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
I mean, okay, his old friend, Okay, good time travel?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Do you? I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
The butterfly effect no.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Longer with us. Also, Richard Hatch, remember the guy they
said he was on the Battlestar Galactica. I thought Richard
Hatch was together that was on Survivor. Oh, but then
he's still alive, So this guy's different Richard Hat.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
No, that's jeff Probs.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
There's more than one guy.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
It's also Jeffrey Dahmer's birth.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I would never watch Survivor have anything to do with
that stupid show.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
No, it's the low grade entertainment Jeffrey Dahmer's birthday. You
know you know Jeffrey right, you're familiar with his work.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Survivor is kind of like the Jeffrey Dahmer of reality shows.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
You get you allful survivor. What is it about survivor
that you're just like attached to or drawn to something?
Just mention it and you're like getting crazy.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
It's all over the news today because of the season
forty eight finales tonight, and I just want to remind
people if you watch that, it's because you're a degenerate.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You know, that's got to be the region.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
But anyway, you were saying happy birthday, Jeffrey Dahmer, Yeah,
what do you think he's going to have for dinner?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Never mind? It is and I hate to even mention this.
It is talk like yodaday. We've been ignoring it all morning,
thank you, and we will continue to do so.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
We're not one of those hokey morning radio shows. It
does silly voices like talk like a pirate day. We
don't do Oh god, don't you hate that? We don't
respect people do that. Also waiter and waitress Day, it is,
oh god, why I didn't mean to do that. It's
National weight staff Day, No tax on tips everybody. That's
a Trump policy. Also National Strawberries and Cream Day and
(05:13):
underrated dessert.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
We do what a tax on tip thing?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Apparently it's part of the big beautiful bill. I don't
have an issue with the tax cuts. It's the spending
I don't like.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah, but that that no tax on tips things. That
doesn't mean you don't tip. I think some people are
trying to use this as an excuse not to tip.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, is there someone in this room that's not a
good tipper?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Can't imagine who would be?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah? Who? Okay, Well, you know, let's face it, exactly
I do. I'm pretty good on tipping. I have seen
Belly had tip before. He's usually nice style tipping, regular tipping.
I think I think he knew what you meant. Oh
and this day in history, by the way, is brought
to you today by our friends from Styling and Sturgis.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Wait, no, that's it's brought to us by law Tigers,
who presents island in Sturgis.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
What I know?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Okay, tell me about Stylin and Sturgis. Is there a website?
Like that's easy to remember?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Let's see. Uh, there was a website. They told me
what it was. I was asking about Styling and Sturgis
and uh, the guys that at Lawtiger said it was
styling in Sturgis dot com.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Oh that's easy to remember now, if I'm not mistaken,
they did this contest last year and didn't one of
our listeners win.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
And he got to go, well, yeah, that's that. We're
hoping one of our listeners will win again this year.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
And and not long ago, didn't law Tigers give a motorcycle? Well,
excuse me, it wasn't a motorcycle.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It was a Harley.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Well it wasn't a Harley. What did they give him? Uh?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
What's it called? Oh? Damn it.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's right on the tip of my top.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Oh that was that custom custom bye, not a cruiser.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Oh, I hate that. I'm not a motorcycle guy, and
I don't know anything. I'm an idiot. I admitted it
was a motorcycle. It was it was were there, we
saw it.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Chopper. It was a Chopper, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I was a And the guy that won that thing
owns a motorcycle shop in golf Port.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Is that good?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yeah? He's a cool guy man.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I like him. Anyway. They got a prize package worth
about eighty five thousand dollars. If you want to go
look at that sign up at the website. Style of
this so just dot com.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Law Tigers dot com Happy.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Birthday to the Red Cross, founded by Clara Barton On
the State eighteen eighty one.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, way back then, they weren't just a parasitic organization
that would feed off of other people suffering.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
They actually helped people. Were that great Today?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
In eighteen thirty two, Dems hold their political convention in Baltimore, Maryland.
Apparently they were very racist. Yeah, they were not like
they are today, though that's different today. In nineteen oh one,
Connecticut in act the first speed limit law twelve mph.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
That is that's in the city, though you get outside
of the city and you can go buck wild fifteen. Wow. Yeah,
it's wild today.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
In nineteen eighteen, the House passed ability to give women
the right to vote. And how did that turn out?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Boy, I know today. In nineteen twenty seven, Lindberg lands
in Paris it was les Bourgoba field. I don't know
how to say, nevermind completing solo transatlantic flight. They had
a trans person on the plane. Yeah, it's weird speaking
of planes today. In nineteen thirty two, Amelia Earhart decided
she wanted to fly over the Atlantic and that went
a little differently today. In nineteen ninety, the last episode
(08:14):
of New Heart aired on CBS with a surprise ending.
New Heart was a check. No, what was the surprise ending? Well,
I never watched this. I don't even know what it is.
What is it? It doesn't matter. Bob woke up in
his new show. He woke up. It was all a dream.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Then it turns out his wife from his whole show
was in bed with him, and that the whole wife
and the other show was the dream. What was New
Heart about a divorce or something? They were kind of
making fun of Dallas. I think with that whole Bobby's
dead dream that Pam had.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Today in nineteen ninety two, the Long Island Lolita Amy
Fisher arrested for shooting Mary Joe. But a full over here.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Couldn't be that. You're looking at multiple this day in
histories because that was yesterday.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I thought it was yesterday too, but it's on the
list here.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, but it was yesterday. Well, hang on a minute
here this day. What's your date up there at the top.
Does it say May twenty first? Yeah, nineteen ninety two,
Long it was. Is it possible she was arrested at
midnight or something like that. Let's let's say that.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Well, hang on let's ask AI what day was Amy
Fisher arrested? And the answer to that question.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Shot her on one day and got arrested the next day.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It says May nineteenth. So this list is just wrong. Yeah,
I don't think it was yesterday either, it was two
days ago. Anyway, I digress now, I don't trust us. Today,
in nineteen ninety four, the Flavor Saver tomato debuts. It
was a genetically modified tomato. Yeah, and we were supposed
to be finaling it. And today, in nineteen ninety nine,
soapstar Susan Lucci finally wins an Emmy on her nineteenth
(09:47):
Is it amazing?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Eighteen times in a row she was nominated and lost,
but she stayed with it and never say that I'd
never give up. She finally got one, Yeah, and then
the show went away.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Well, today is National Weight Staff Day, So a huge
thanks Saul, the waiters and waitresses for all that they do.
Hopefully this no tax on tip thing passes soon and
thanks to AI, you could better understand what your server
is actually saying to you.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
In honor of National Weight Staff Day. Here is your
Weight staff translator. Here's what they say. Would you like
anything off the menu to start. And here's what they mean.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Your order sucks.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
What they say, Oh.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
That table is reserved for another party.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
What they mean, I don't want you to move because
then I'll have to reset the table. What waiters and
waitresses say. I'm sorry your food is taking so long.
It's on the way. What waiters and waitresses mean, I
forgot to turn your order in. What they say?
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Can I get you anything else today?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
What they mean, I'd like to make more money.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
Get out now, and there is your weight staff translator.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Happy National Weight Staff Day.
Speaker 6 (10:50):
Because democracy basically means government by the people. Off the people,
fought at the people, the people are retarded.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Stay tuned for more. Waltman Johnson.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
All right, Stoppy, if you heard this one. But sometimes
women lie.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
What I know you mean, lie around?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, but also just tell untruths, fibbs, untruths. Tiffany Slaton, Today,
I want to tell you the story of a young
woman named Tiffany Slayton has been found alive after surviving
three weeks of being lost in the California Mountains. She
fought off animals, She ate leaks, she boiled snow, She
(11:36):
hiked peaks up eleven thousand feet high, she endured thirteen
heavy snow storms.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Oh god, three weeks alone in the mountains, this young girl,
and didn't even have special training or anything.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
No, none, Wow, how does she do it? If that
sounds incredible, wait until you hear this.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Is it pretty incredible? It's almost hard to believe. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
At the start of her camping trip, she recounted to
reporters how she had fallen off a cliff and became
unconscious for two hours, injured both of her legs in
the process. Oh boy, This young woman, Tiffany, who is
a trained horticulturist and a self proclaimed pre olympian and
archery oh, then proceeded to splint one of her legs.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
I'm also a pre olympian in archery me too. Yeah,
and fencing too. What's the thing where you ski and
shoot a gun? Yeah? I do that ski gun.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
And anyway, she claims she splinted her leg and popped
her knee back into place, according to her an exact
quote and now due to in a recent avalanche, she
was enable to get back into the main road and
was unsuccessful in reaching nine to one one due to
a lack of self service. Thus began her long journey
of attempting to get back to civilization.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Long and arduous. Arduous is correct? Are you reading the
same story as well? But that's always goes hand in hand.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
They did use that word, but I felt like a
weird word for me to use because I wouldn't normally
say for the best. Anyway. It included fighting off animals, survive,
having on leaks, boiling snow, as I explained, hiking peaks
very high. Tiffany eventually found an empty wilderness a resort
actually Verlion Valley Resort, Okay, and she shocked up in
one of the cabins where the owner found her. She
(13:13):
was saved for a reason, the resort owner claimed. We
even have a SoundBite of that. Go ahead, young man.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Making our loop around the resort, we see the door open,
I see some shoes down there. I'm like, okay, well,
it's just a hiker who decided to, you know, hold up.
In the blizzard that we had that previous night, Tiffany
pops out, didn't say a word, just ran up, and
all she wanted was a hug. It was a pretty
surreal moment. And that's what when I realized who this was.
(13:41):
From what she told us. It was a blizzard. She
pushed through that blizzard and the first thing she saw
was a cabin, and she held up in the cabin
through the night. This girl was saved for a reason.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Said, because she's hot. Now, so you're thinking that maybe
the you know, the Lord sent her to him for
him to enjoy her.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
What's a good question. She then held a press conference
with her parents explaining how she survived, telling the world
how she did it?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
How did I avoid death?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I'm pretty good at forging.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Well, it turns out not everyone believes her. Tiffany Slatin's
survival in this sierra has been hailed as a miracle,
but it also sparked suspicion. Here's a report from the
local ABC affiliate.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
Tiffany Slayton's survival in the Sierra has been hailed a miracle,
but it's also spark suspicion.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I just like I saw her story and that's when
I first went up.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I was not adding up right here.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Seasoned outdoorsman jeff Iello skeptical from the start when Slayton
took to the cameras last week to describe her ordeal.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Hello, I didn't really come up with anything. That's super
planned for this. It's literally only been two days.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
Totally blanket on you in a press conference like that.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
That was a warning flag for me.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
Iello probe Sley in story starting with the avalanche, she
says blogged her path and turned a vacation into a nightmare.
There's no avalanche in the Sierra at this time of
the year or in late April. The conditions don't exist
for it. According to the National Weather Service, there was
little to no snowpack at the time, but there were
at least two systems that brought snowfall. Slayton's entire journey
(15:15):
lasted nearly a month, and for fifteen days she was
officially lost. Her parents in Georgia hadn't heard from her,
and Slayton said repeated calls to nine one one failed.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Well, there's no service.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
She couldn't get a call to nine one one.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But then right after that asked Siri where the closest
Starbucks was.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Eventually got mad at my GPS and decided to ask, well,
where's the nearest Starbucks because, oh, well, we can answer
that question. It's eighteen miles from here.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Syria doesn't work unless you have connectivity.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Slayton eventually discovered you think Edison, and reports of her
rescue made national headlines. We asked Layton's father about his
daughter's story over the phone Monday.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Okay, you get the idea. They don't believe her.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
A lot of people are saying that white guy's racist
for not believing this woman.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, and he sounds like a wives Innheimer.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
For sure, and you know it goes that saying.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
But if she's got a good set on her, I
believe her.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Anyway. She was seen on April eighth with an electric
bike and camping gear, and she was also seeing April
twentieth on park surveillance cameras. Using the video, critics note
that she was found twenty five miles down the road
from that location and surmise she ran out of battery
before deciding to camp out in an empty resort cabin.
Critics have noted the claim of surviving off leaks is
a bit far stretch, given that leaks don't grow anywhere
(16:33):
within a thousand miles of the Sierra Nevadas. Other people
are calling foul based her her built. You ever take
a leak with you? I mean I took a leak earlier. Yeah,
we'll see anyway, calling foul based off their built in
BS radar. She bragged about her resume, basically asked to
go on a survival show. Her parents were giddy for attention.
(16:53):
Everything sounded scripted. So where are all the conspiracy theories
about this? Something just seems a little off about it.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Maybe people just don't care. Well, it is going to be.
It didn't bother me. I don't care. It didn't affect
my life one way or the other.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Anyway, if you don't believe her, you are racist.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
So oh, and the answer to your question, because I
hate to interrupt, buy athalon, buy athalon. What was the question?
What's the sport with shooting and skiing? Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, I know, I forgot about that.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, which is kind of tricky because cross country skiing
is a great cardiovascular exercise which makes you breathe really
heart and your heart racist. And then shooting a rifle
you need to be very calm, patient, and uh, you know,
to be accurate. So if you miss your target, it's
(17:47):
a race. Basically, it's a time race, so they take
time off of your your race. So you could race
out to the front, real fastest guy there, but then
you screw up the shooting because you're out of breath,
and then they take the time off, so it really
didn't do you any good. All right, blow down.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
They've been doing it in Scandinamia since the eighteen sixties.
The only part of this I don't like is the
cross country skiing. Can I just do downhill skiing?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
And that would be more fun? Would?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
It would be way more fun? It just I mean absolutely,
I'm pretty good at skiing down the side of a mountain,
you know, and shooting a gun. I'm above average that
for sure.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I would like to see him do it all at
the same time, though, I mean, James Bond can do it.
You don't see him ski backwards down a mountain and
then shoot people that are also skiing at hip but
they're skiing forward. Sure, he turns around backwards and shoots
him while skiing backwards. I mean, I don't know why
they have to stop to start their their shooting portion.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
You know, it wasn't that, it wasn't realistic. I believe
it could happen. It's just that he was holding a
martini while he did it.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
That's what makes him James Bond.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
See, I didn't think that part was realist. Couldn't do
stuff like that? No, I probably couldn't. But anyway, I'll
never be in the Olympics. What did you want to
do fencing? You're a pre Olympian?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Is I'm a pre Olympian and an archery a I'm
a dual threat and what they call me?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Well, speaking of going outdoors and going camping at a resort,
have you heard about the Christian camp that expects to
be shut down thanks to Colorado's new transgender law?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Oh, how is that gonna affect the Christian camp?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Okay? Under Colorado law, the state now authorized to prosecute
people who dead named or misgendered. You get what dead
naming is? No, dead naming is like if I say
that I'm now Rebecca, but you keep calling me Kenny,
that's called dead naming. And that also kind of like
the thing earlier with revenge porn. It does feel like
a violation of the First Amendment to tell me that
(19:35):
I can't call you something. Right, But anyway, that's what
the law says. It is House Bill thirteen twelve.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
They'll ever notice they're starting to make laws now that
make other laws illegal. Right, that's not a law. Yeah,
that's just stupid.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
What that is It's called the Kelly Loving Act, and
it's supposed to make it easier to change names and
gender identity on documents. But I think all it really
does here is makes it easier to participate in child abuse.
So there's a Christian summer camp in the foothills of
Colorado that expects to be shut down unless a federal
judge decides that it can legally separate campers by sex
rather than their gender identity. Get it, No, Well, they're like,
(20:19):
all the boys go over here, all the girls go
over there. It's a Christian camp. Seven or eight of
the boys go, I'm a girl, right, yeah, According to
the new law, that would shut the camp down. So
all you'd have to do to get the camp clothes,
to send your training teenager to the camp and have
them screw with the camp counselors a little bit. Unless
they did a thing where they told all the trainees
to go over here. That would be like a gray area.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
That could be risky.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Well, what you think if we had all the transgenders alone,
they might participate in some kind of sexual depravity. That
doesn't sound like the trans community.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
No, not at all.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
You're listening to the Walton and Johnson Network featuring Steve
Johnson and Kenny Webster.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
He must be the new guy.
Mister, I get a rolling on this. A fully grown
man should never use emojis unless he's flirting with a woman.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Unless there's the possibility of getting through, and then it's
whatever you want to do that as long as you
pay off.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
You know, in the right way, because to me, emoji
usage is very emasculating.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
It.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
But if it gets you laid, he.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Said, with a heart with a crack in it, yeah,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
There's always exceptions to everything. For example, you.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Wouldn't send a birthday cake to I don't know, mister
t this morning. You know, Well, that's the thing.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Just because it's your birthday, it doesn't have to be
your birthday to get the grocery store birthday cake.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's true. A famous actor once told us. Apparently you
can go in and get a birthday cake and eat
it even if it's not your birthday.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Yeah, exactly, even if it's not your birthday, Dad.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
What's on your face?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Birthday cake? I just ate a birthday cake.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Whose birthday is it?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
No, Biden, they sell him at the grocery store. You
can get him anytime you want, any even if it's
not your birthday.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Even if it's mister T's birthday.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah, not not yours, even if it's way, Happy birthday
to be a Barkas, be a barrakas. That's my guide.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Ye, clubber Lang, which one was the better name? Clubber
is a great name for a boxer, don't you think,
especially one that doesn't, you know, have the finesse of
a skillful pugilist.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
So I'm going to guess that that was probably that
was his name in Rocky right, was that yeah? In
Rocky three? Because I don't remember that, but it made
sense as soon as you said it, kind of like
the lyrics to the Cheers theme.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Sure. Yeah, Now you know, mister T is seventy three
years old today.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I've hung out with him before. There's photos on the
internet of us hanging out, and he told me that
even though he doesn't wear the gold around his neck anymore,
he still has the gold in his heart. Oh, of
course he did, because apparently the bank can't repossess.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
The gold in your heart. Yeah, they can't get that
and a bank of company everything else.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
That's what he told me.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Oh, happy birthday to goat Jay. I guess he pronounce
this goat got ya. That's also how it's spelled.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
She famously sang the song Somebody that I Used to Know,
which made like a weird comeback recently because that song
that women use in TikTok videos hypnotize, that uses the
same beat. No, not hypnotize. What's it called anxiety, That's
what it's called. Yeah, anyway, anyway, goat Yay forty five.
(02:34):
Oh yeah, he's old and washed up at this point. Yeah,
Judge Ryan Hold, that was Billy Rosewood and Beverly Hills Cop.
But he was also Brad in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
He's now sixty eight years old. See, it's the same song,
but this is doughci anxiety, different lyrics. You could just
take a song that already exists, changed the lyrics. Al
(02:54):
Franken is seventy four, Boo, Al Frankin sucks.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Leo Sayer sent seven. Ronald Isley of the Isisley Brothers
is eighty four. Somebody's singing over your birthday of Ronald Eisley.
That ain't cool. I would never down with that. I
don't have any songs by Ronald Eyes no longer with us,
notorious be it.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Gee.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
That's why I said the word hypnotized. I had this
on the screen.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
He would have been fifty three, but he didn't quite
make it. You gotta wonder if he was still alive
right now.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
If he was, what would he say, knowing his death
helped launch the career of a rape monster.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
If he was alive today, he wouldn't have much to
say about his death, would he? Well?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
I mean, okay, his old friend, Okay, good time travel?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Do you? I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
The butterfly effect no.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Longer with us. Also, Richard Hatch, remember the guy they
said he was on the Battlestar Galactica. I thought Richard
Hatch was together that was on Survivor. Oh, but then
he's still alive, So this guy's different Richard Hat.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
No, that's jeff Probs.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
There's more than one guy.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
It's also Jeffrey Dahmer's birth.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I would never watch Survivor have anything to do with
that stupid show.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
No, it's the low grade entertainment Jeffrey Dahmer's birthday. You
know you know Jeffrey right, you're familiar with his work.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Survivor is kind of like the Jeffrey Dahmer of reality shows.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
You get you allful survivor. What is it about survivor
that you're just like attached to or drawn to something?
Just mention it and you're like getting crazy.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
It's all over the news today because of the season
forty eight finales tonight, and I just want to remind
people if you watch that, it's because you're a degenerate.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
You know, that's got to be the region.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
But anyway, you were saying happy birthday, Jeffrey Dahmer, Yeah,
what do you think he's going to have for dinner?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Never mind? It is and I hate to even mention this.
It is talk like yodaday. We've been ignoring it all morning,
thank you, and we will continue to do so.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
We're not one of those hokey morning radio shows. It
does silly voices like talk like a pirate day. We
don't do Oh god, don't you hate that? We don't
respect people do that. Also waiter and waitress Day, it is,
oh god, why I didn't mean to do that. It's
National weight staff Day, No tax on tips everybody. That's
a Trump policy. Also National Strawberries and Cream Day and
(05:13):
underrated dessert.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
We do what a tax on tip thing?
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Apparently it's part of the big beautiful bill. I don't
have an issue with the tax cuts. It's the spending
I don't like.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah, but that that no tax on tips things. That
doesn't mean you don't tip. I think some people are
trying to use this as an excuse not to tip.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, is there someone in this room that's not a
good tipper?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Can't imagine who would be?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah? Who? Okay, Well, you know, let's face it, exactly
I do. I'm pretty good on tipping. I have seen
Belly had tip before. He's usually nice style tipping, regular tipping.
I think I think he knew what you meant. Oh
and this day in history, by the way, is brought
to you today by our friends from Styling and Sturgis.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Wait, no, that's it's brought to us by law Tigers,
who presents island in Sturgis.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
What I know?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Okay, tell me about Stylin and Sturgis. Is there a website?
Like that's easy to remember?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Let's see. Uh, there was a website. They told me
what it was. I was asking about Styling and Sturgis
and uh, the guys that at Lawtiger said it was
styling in Sturgis dot com.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Oh that's easy to remember now, if I'm not mistaken,
they did this contest last year and didn't one of
our listeners win.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
And he got to go, well, yeah, that's that. We're
hoping one of our listeners will win again this year.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
And and not long ago, didn't law Tigers give a motorcycle? Well,
excuse me, it wasn't a motorcycle.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It was a Harley.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Well it wasn't a Harley. What did they give him? Uh?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
What's it called? Oh? Damn it.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's right on the tip of my top.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Oh that was that custom custom bye, not a cruiser.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Oh, I hate that. I'm not a motorcycle guy, and
I don't know anything. I'm an idiot. I admitted it
was a motorcycle. It was it was were there, we
saw it.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Chopper. It was a Chopper, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
I was a And the guy that won that thing
owns a motorcycle shop in golf Port.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Is that good?
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yeah? He's a cool guy man.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I like him. Anyway. They got a prize package worth
about eighty five thousand dollars. If you want to go
look at that sign up at the website. Style of
this so just dot com.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Law Tigers dot com Happy.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Birthday to the Red Cross, founded by Clara Barton On
the State eighteen eighty one.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, way back then, they weren't just a parasitic organization
that would feed off of other people suffering.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
They actually helped people. Were that great Today?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
In eighteen thirty two, Dems hold their political convention in Baltimore, Maryland.
Apparently they were very racist. Yeah, they were not like
they are today, though that's different today. In nineteen oh one,
Connecticut in act the first speed limit law twelve mph.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
That is that's in the city, though you get outside
of the city and you can go buck wild fifteen. Wow. Yeah,
it's wild today.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
In nineteen eighteen, the House passed ability to give women
the right to vote. And how did that turn out?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Boy, I know today. In nineteen twenty seven, Lindberg lands
in Paris it was les Bourgoba field. I don't know
how to say, nevermind completing solo transatlantic flight. They had
a trans person on the plane. Yeah, it's weird speaking
of planes today. In nineteen thirty two, Amelia Earhart decided
she wanted to fly over the Atlantic and that went
a little differently today. In nineteen ninety, the last episode
(08:14):
of New Heart aired on CBS with a surprise ending.
New Heart was a check. No, what was the surprise ending? Well,
I never watched this. I don't even know what it is.
What is it? It doesn't matter. Bob woke up in
his new show. He woke up. It was all a dream.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Then it turns out his wife from his whole show
was in bed with him, and that the whole wife
and the other show was the dream. What was New
Heart about a divorce or something? They were kind of
making fun of Dallas. I think with that whole Bobby's
dead dream that Pam had.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Today in nineteen ninety two, the Long Island Lolita Amy
Fisher arrested for shooting Mary Joe. But a full over here.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Couldn't be that. You're looking at multiple this day in
histories because that was yesterday.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I thought it was yesterday too, but it's on the
list here.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah, but it was yesterday. Well, hang on a minute
here this day. What's your date up there at the top.
Does it say May twenty first? Yeah, nineteen ninety two,
Long it was. Is it possible she was arrested at
midnight or something like that. Let's let's say that.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Well, hang on let's ask AI what day was Amy
Fisher arrested? And the answer to that question.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Shot her on one day and got arrested the next day.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
It says May nineteenth. So this list is just wrong. Yeah,
I don't think it was yesterday either, it was two
days ago. Anyway, I digress now, I don't trust us. Today,
in nineteen ninety four, the Flavor Saver tomato debuts. It
was a genetically modified tomato. Yeah, and we were supposed
to be finaling it. And today, in nineteen ninety nine,
soapstar Susan Lucci finally wins an Emmy on her nineteenth
(09:47):
Is it amazing?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Eighteen times in a row she was nominated and lost,
but she stayed with it and never say that I'd
never give up. She finally got one, Yeah, and then
the show went away.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Well, today is National Weight Staff Day, So a huge
thanks Saul, the waiters and waitresses for all that they do.
Hopefully this no tax on tip thing passes soon and
thanks to AI, you could better understand what your server
is actually saying to you.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
In honor of National Weight Staff Day. Here is your
Weight staff translator. Here's what they say. Would you like
anything off the menu to start. And here's what they mean.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Your order sucks.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
What they say, Oh.
Speaker 5 (10:24):
That table is reserved for another party.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
What they mean, I don't want you to move because
then I'll have to reset the table. What waiters and
waitresses say. I'm sorry your food is taking so long.
It's on the way. What waiters and waitresses mean, I
forgot to turn your order in. What they say?
Speaker 5 (10:39):
Can I get you anything else today?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
What they mean, I'd like to make more money.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
Get out now, and there is your weight staff translator.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Happy National Weight Staff Day.
Speaker 6 (10:50):
Because democracy basically means government by the people. Off the people,
fought at the people, the people are retarded.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Stay tuned for more. Waltman Johnson.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
All right, Stoppy, if you heard this one. But sometimes
women lie.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
What I know you mean, lie around?
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Yeah, but also just tell untruths, fibbs, untruths. Tiffany Slaton, Today,
I want to tell you the story of a young
woman named Tiffany Slayton has been found alive after surviving
three weeks of being lost in the California Mountains. She
fought off animals, She ate leaks, she boiled snow, She
(11:36):
hiked peaks up eleven thousand feet high, she endured thirteen
heavy snow storms.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Oh god, three weeks alone in the mountains, this young girl,
and didn't even have special training or anything.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
No, none, Wow, how does she do it? If that
sounds incredible, wait until you hear this.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Is it pretty incredible? It's almost hard to believe. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
At the start of her camping trip, she recounted to
reporters how she had fallen off a cliff and became
unconscious for two hours, injured both of her legs in
the process. Oh boy, This young woman, Tiffany, who is
a trained horticulturist and a self proclaimed pre olympian and
archery oh, then proceeded to splint one of her legs.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
I'm also a pre olympian in archery me too. Yeah,
and fencing too. What's the thing where you ski and
shoot a gun? Yeah? I do that ski gun.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
And anyway, she claims she splinted her leg and popped
her knee back into place, according to her an exact
quote and now due to in a recent avalanche, she
was enable to get back into the main road and
was unsuccessful in reaching nine to one one due to
a lack of self service. Thus began her long journey
of attempting to get back to civilization.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Long and arduous. Arduous is correct? Are you reading the
same story as well? But that's always goes hand in hand.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
They did use that word, but I felt like a
weird word for me to use because I wouldn't normally
say for the best. Anyway. It included fighting off animals, survive,
having on leaks, boiling snow, as I explained, hiking peaks
very high. Tiffany eventually found an empty wilderness a resort
actually Verlion Valley Resort, Okay, and she shocked up in
one of the cabins where the owner found her. She
(13:13):
was saved for a reason, the resort owner claimed. We
even have a SoundBite of that. Go ahead, young man.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Making our loop around the resort, we see the door open,
I see some shoes down there. I'm like, okay, well,
it's just a hiker who decided to, you know, hold up.
In the blizzard that we had that previous night, Tiffany
pops out, didn't say a word, just ran up, and
all she wanted was a hug. It was a pretty
surreal moment. And that's what when I realized who this was.
(13:41):
From what she told us. It was a blizzard. She
pushed through that blizzard and the first thing she saw
was a cabin, and she held up in the cabin
through the night. This girl was saved for a reason.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Said, because she's hot. Now, so you're thinking that maybe
the you know, the Lord sent her to him for
him to enjoy her.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
What's a good question. She then held a press conference
with her parents explaining how she survived, telling the world
how she did it?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
How did I avoid death?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I'm pretty good at forging.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Well, it turns out not everyone believes her. Tiffany Slatin's
survival in this sierra has been hailed as a miracle,
but it also sparked suspicion. Here's a report from the
local ABC affiliate.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
Tiffany Slayton's survival in the Sierra has been hailed a miracle,
but it's also spark suspicion.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I just like I saw her story and that's when
I first went up.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I was not adding up right here.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Seasoned outdoorsman jeff Iello skeptical from the start when Slayton
took to the cameras last week to describe her ordeal.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Hello, I didn't really come up with anything. That's super
planned for this. It's literally only been two days.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
Totally blanket on you in a press conference like that.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
That was a warning flag for me.
Speaker 5 (14:53):
Iello probe Sley in story starting with the avalanche, she
says blogged her path and turned a vacation into a nightmare.
There's no avalanche in the Sierra at this time of
the year or in late April. The conditions don't exist
for it. According to the National Weather Service, there was
little to no snowpack at the time, but there were
at least two systems that brought snowfall. Slayton's entire journey
(15:15):
lasted nearly a month, and for fifteen days she was
officially lost. Her parents in Georgia hadn't heard from her,
and Slayton said repeated calls to nine one one failed.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Well, there's no service.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
She couldn't get a call to nine one one.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But then right after that asked Siri where the closest
Starbucks was.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Eventually got mad at my GPS and decided to ask, well,
where's the nearest Starbucks because, oh, well, we can answer
that question. It's eighteen miles from here.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Syria doesn't work unless you have connectivity.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Slayton eventually discovered you think Edison, and reports of her
rescue made national headlines. We asked Layton's father about his
daughter's story over the phone Monday.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Okay, you get the idea. They don't believe her.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
A lot of people are saying that white guy's racist
for not believing this woman.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, and he sounds like a wives Innheimer.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
For sure, and you know it goes that saying.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
But if she's got a good set on her, I
believe her.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Anyway. She was seen on April eighth with an electric
bike and camping gear, and she was also seeing April
twentieth on park surveillance cameras. Using the video, critics note
that she was found twenty five miles down the road
from that location and surmise she ran out of battery
before deciding to camp out in an empty resort cabin.
Critics have noted the claim of surviving off leaks is
a bit far stretch, given that leaks don't grow anywhere
(16:33):
within a thousand miles of the Sierra Nevadas. Other people
are calling foul based her her built. You ever take
a leak with you? I mean I took a leak earlier. Yeah,
we'll see anyway, calling foul based off their built in
BS radar. She bragged about her resume, basically asked to
go on a survival show. Her parents were giddy for attention.
(16:53):
Everything sounded scripted. So where are all the conspiracy theories
about this? Something just seems a little off about it.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Maybe people just don't care. Well, it is going to be.
It didn't bother me. I don't care. It didn't affect
my life one way or the other.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Anyway, if you don't believe her, you are racist.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
So oh, and the answer to your question, because I
hate to interrupt, buy athalon, buy athalon. What was the question?
What's the sport with shooting and skiing? Oh?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, I know, I forgot about that.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah, which is kind of tricky because cross country skiing
is a great cardiovascular exercise which makes you breathe really
heart and your heart racist. And then shooting a rifle
you need to be very calm, patient, and uh, you know,
to be accurate. So if you miss your target, it's
(17:47):
a race. Basically, it's a time race, so they take
time off of your your race. So you could race
out to the front, real fastest guy there, but then
you screw up the shooting because you're out of breath,
and then they take the time off, so it really
didn't do you any good. All right, blow down.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
They've been doing it in Scandinamia since the eighteen sixties.
The only part of this I don't like is the
cross country skiing. Can I just do downhill skiing?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
And that would be more fun? Would?
Speaker 1 (18:11):
It would be way more fun? It just I mean absolutely,
I'm pretty good at skiing down the side of a mountain,
you know, and shooting a gun. I'm above average that
for sure.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I would like to see him do it all at
the same time, though, I mean, James Bond can do it.
You don't see him ski backwards down a mountain and
then shoot people that are also skiing at hip but
they're skiing forward. Sure, he turns around backwards and shoots
him while skiing backwards. I mean, I don't know why
they have to stop to start their their shooting portion.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
You know, it wasn't that, it wasn't realistic. I believe
it could happen. It's just that he was holding a
martini while he did it.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
That's what makes him James Bond.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
See, I didn't think that part was realist. Couldn't do
stuff like that? No, I probably couldn't. But anyway, I'll
never be in the Olympics. What did you want to
do fencing? You're a pre Olympian?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Is I'm a pre Olympian and an archery a I'm
a dual threat and what they call me?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Well, speaking of going outdoors and going camping at a resort,
have you heard about the Christian camp that expects to
be shut down thanks to Colorado's new transgender law?
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Oh, how is that gonna affect the Christian camp?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Okay? Under Colorado law, the state now authorized to prosecute
people who dead named or misgendered. You get what dead
naming is? No, dead naming is like if I say
that I'm now Rebecca, but you keep calling me Kenny,
that's called dead naming. And that also kind of like
the thing earlier with revenge porn. It does feel like
a violation of the First Amendment to tell me that
(19:35):
I can't call you something. Right, But anyway, that's what
the law says. It is House Bill thirteen twelve.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
They'll ever notice they're starting to make laws now that
make other laws illegal. Right, that's not a law. Yeah,
that's just stupid.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
What that is It's called the Kelly Loving Act, and
it's supposed to make it easier to change names and
gender identity on documents. But I think all it really
does here is makes it easier to participate in child abuse.
So there's a Christian summer camp in the foothills of
Colorado that expects to be shut down unless a federal
judge decides that it can legally separate campers by sex
rather than their gender identity. Get it, No, Well, they're like,
(20:19):
all the boys go over here, all the girls go
over there. It's a Christian camp. Seven or eight of
the boys go, I'm a girl, right, yeah, According to
the new law, that would shut the camp down. So
all you'd have to do to get the camp clothes,
to send your training teenager to the camp and have
them screw with the camp counselors a little bit. Unless
they did a thing where they told all the trainees
to go over here. That would be like a gray area.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
That could be risky.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Well, what you think if we had all the transgenders alone,
they might participate in some kind of sexual depravity. That
doesn't sound like the trans community.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
No, not at all.
Speaker 6 (20:51):
You're listening to the Walton and Johnson Network featuring Steve
Johnson and Kenny Webster.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
He must be the new guy.
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