Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I know it makes me happy to know I said hungry. Yeah,
(00:03):
same thing. Well, I'd be happier if I wasn't hungry.
If I was full, would be a happier place to
be than hungry. Where's a I could use big old
plate of lasagnire or some uh spaghetti. I like it too.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I know that this music always reminds you of chain
Italian restaurants like ma Giano's or Olive Garden, But I
just like a hole in the wall Italian restaurant where
some guy barely shows up for work. He's an Italian immigrant.
He hates you just because you're there. But it's the
best pasta you ever had.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
They have those wine bottles hanging from the sea or
kianti specifically uh bottles hanging from the ceiling. Why kianti?
What is it about that? That's just the thing. They
did something about serial killers and kianti? Oh, serial killers
ruined kiyanti? I know.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, farva beans too. I can never eat farva beans
without thinking about that.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Do you ever eat one before? Noo fava? And no?
I think earlier, I don't know what you were talking about.
You mentioned the Real Housewives of somewhere that stephen A.
Smith was like this chan is like Real Housewives were men,
and it just reminded me Denise Richards Charlie Jean Jean's
(01:11):
ex Denise Richards. You know why she on Real Housewives? Well,
she was spotted shooting scenes for the Real Housewives of
Beverly Hills. No word if it's a guest spot or
if she is back as a regular cast member. Now,
you used to watch Real Housewives of Everything all the time.
What happened?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
To be fair, I've never actually watched it. I've just
been in the room while it was on TV. You
used to put it on TV all the time. One
of the things I have learned is that people that
like that show have no idea what's happening in the
real world.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
They're totally detached from reality. Wait, what is called a
real life? Of these people? How do they not know
a real world? Is called a real world?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I don't think it is. I watched an episode once.
Can I describe you what I saw?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Nothing real about Reality TV?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
One time I watched an episode. This is a brief
explanation of what I saw. It was the new season.
There's all these women at a table together in a restaurant.
There's no explanation of why they're there, there's no explanation
of who they are. All of a sudden, one of
them starts saying mean things to another one.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Uhuh.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And there's a black lady there, and that woman's never
met these women before, and she starts saying mean things
to the white ladies. And none of it makes any
there's no plot, there's no discernible situation, like, no explanation
of why they've come together, or why they're at dinner
or what they're doing or and they're just saying mean
things to each other. Then suddenly one of them gets up,
knocks a glass.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Over to turn the table over, charges out of the room,
pick up a chair, try to bash it over the
head or one of the other girls. And I can't
tell you who was watching the show, but the person
that was watching it when I was in the room
thought this was the greatest thing he or she had
ever seen in his or her life.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Right thought it was fascinating. I was like, what is exactly?
You know there's a war going on? You thought you
like conflict, We're dropping bombs on people right now.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
You think this is interesting and the most inexplicable. Part
of that whole thing for men to understand is that
the women got it. They knew what was going on,
and it's like they're talking in code and you boys
just did and get it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Women will actually describe the Real Housewives. They describe it
as exactly what it is. It's trash TV. Women will
often say, oh, I love my trash TV. And that
is a red flag young men. If you're on a
date with a woman and she uses the word trash
TV positively, Oh yeah, that means she values things that
have no substance to them at all. She likes things
(03:34):
that are useless, pointless. She loves drama, she likes watching
people fight about nothing. And if you think that's not
gonna matter later on in your life, you are wrong.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, Kenny Walter heard you talking about some girl you dated.
You know, you've always got these stories this one girl
you dated this one time, and she gave you something
that will be with you forever. I don't think that's true,
but there's something like that, and I don't think that's right.
But said Kenny, you are learning lessons about women that
(04:05):
for me, he says, for Walter ended my dating, you
go from one the drama queens, been there, done that.
Two lunatics, you've obviously been there and done that, and
then you progress along maybe three or four or five
(04:26):
when you get there sooner or later, lawnmower moms and
their urchins. And then that's where you quit. What are
lawnmower moms and their urchins? What does that mean? Like?
Just regular old gals with kids, maybe out living in
a country or someplace good like that. You lose the
drama queens, lose the lunatics, and you get with some
regular gal who knows how to drive a ride a
(04:48):
lawnmower and has a couple of young'uns pull an owner.
You know, you know how they'll pull on you.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
That doesn't sound that bad. I don't At my age,
I don't mind dating women with kids because I'm forty three.
Most normal women in my age have kid by now.
But I did have another weird experience this weekend. Y'all
know what white Linen Night is.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Well, of course that kind of progressed from New Orleans
to Houston after Katrina almost twenty years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
This weekend, I'm hanging out at my house as because
that's where I live, you know, you live at your house.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I live in my house, that's correct.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
And all of a sudden in the phone rings and
it's this young woman I know, and she says, hey,
do you want to go to white linen.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Night with me?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And I was like, I don't think I own a
article of white clothing, much less an entire wardrobe or
outfit of white linen.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
That's oddly specific. Wouldn't it be better to do that
in Oh, I don't know, October and not August. I know,
I think this is when they do it. I think
that's the point of the white linen is it's cooling
and August nights get a little warm, a little humid
here and there, and so, yeah, you wear the white linen,
all right. So I'm hanging out rather it's Jill gonna
(05:53):
be hot k October, you know. Oh he's not kidding anyway.
So I'm hanging out trying to figure out where I'm
gonna get white clothes from. And then suddenly I realized
I don't have to worry about it. The person don't go. No.
The person at the front desk calls me. He said, Kenny,
there are two young women here. I said two. I
only ordered one and so the two of them. Was
it a bogo? Apparently it was.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
So the door knocks and I opened the door and
there's the one that I thought was coming over, and
she's with her friend, and I go, hey, what are
the two of you doing here?
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Why is your friend here?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
And then she said, and the one girl is the
girl that I was expected to come over, is giddy
with delight and the other one is crying a little bit.
And I was like, oh, women have come over before while
they were crying, but this was new because there was
two of them, right, And usually two of them, you know,
one of their moods will match the other one.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Not the case here. Oh.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So they come in and I go, what's going on?
And they say, we've just left a date with two guys.
And I'm going to use a fake name here. What
should I call them? They both had the same name.
What should we call him? Some George to both guys
are named George, and we'll just say George one point
zero George two point oh that's their name.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Uh. And I said, what's going on with you too?
And he said, well, we were on a date with
these two guys and one of them just broke up
with her his fiance and the other one is still married.
And I was like, oh, that's interesting. You're on a
date with a married guy. How'd that going? She said,
I did not like it, so I left the date.
And I was like, oh, and what about her? And
she said she did like it and she did not
(07:16):
want to leave the date. And with that, the two
of them proceed to get into a little a pleasant
disagreement over whether or not they and I it occurred,
did they go the pillow fight? You know what? That
wasn't part of the story.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
But since no one yes, so the so the two
of them quickly have a pillow fight with lingerie and
then that ends, and then there's this this this conversation
ensues over whether or not it was right to leave
the party or not. And I had asked the question,
and this is not a question you're supposed to ever
ask women when they're disagreeing with each other.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
It's like, maybe going on a date with a married
guy was a mistake. And with that, both of them right,
And with that, both of them turned and looked at me, like, Kenny,
what's wrong with you? Exactly?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, It's like, I but what if the roles were reversed, right,
Like what if I you know, what if we were
out on a date with married women or whatever, everyone
would agree that.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Was terrible, right, be a terrible thing to do. I
had no idea that people their husbands are like out
of town. It could be hunting or something. You know,
Wait a second, Billy Ed, you're a guy that goes hunting.
Do you really want to all believe me? I know
how it works. You want that to be okay? That
if you go on a hunting trip for the weekend.
Uh oh, you think I don't leave booby traps and
secret cameras and all kinds of stuff around making sure
(08:33):
everything's just gonna be right where I left it when
I get back.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Well, then I got asked, with all those booby traps
and secret cameras and what have you, did you ever
catch Praline doing anything?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Booby traps a funny word, that's pretty funny. Yeah, you're right,
you are so woke. Walton and Johnson Radio Network telled
us a little earlier. He heard us talking about Superman
and and Kung Fu and all those guys that could
do these amazing things. So then people would do something
to do you're like you you shoot arrows and throw
(09:03):
spears at Kung Fu and he just snatches them and
bats them out of the air like it's nothing. So
then you decide it's time to fight him. Yeah, you know,
and this one James rode in, he goes, you notice Superman.
They would shoot Superman and he let six bullets bounce
off of his chest, and when the gun was empty,
they would throw the gun at his face. And what
(09:25):
did Superman do? Well, what did Superman do? He ducked.
Oh yeah, he didn't even try to dodge the bullets,
which he could have. Sure he cut ain't no problem.
It was like shoot me, I don't care, boo boo boom.
But you throw a gun at him from ten feet
away and he ducks because it might have hurt his
He might have hit him in the eye.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So it sounds like what you're saying is you think
you think Kung Fu is better than Superman.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
He could have took him, but I think he could
have He could have took him Man.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But you know, if you think about it, while Superman
had kryptonite, there was one thing that could stop ung Fu.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
What would that be? Can he masturbating alone? In a closet.
It turns out. It turns out he had one weakness
and that thing and that killed him when nobody else could.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And that weakness was regular masturbation wasn't good enough for him.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
He needed he needed to kind of. I feel like
the payoff there wasn't really worth it. And you know,
people say it makes it more exciting. I don't. I
don't think I could stand it if it got better.
I mean no, I don't want it to be more exciting.
People always wonder what damn near killed me anyway. People
(10:38):
always wonder what happens after you die?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Where do you go? Do you go to Heaven, you
go to hell? Are you reincarnated? I don't know the
answer to that, but I do know what happens to
your body a few minutes after you die. Okay, you
get discovered by someone.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Oh yeah, ever in the middle of doing something and
you think, God, I hope this doesn't kill me, because
this is what people are gonna find me doing. I
don't mean sexual, you know, things like that, just anything stupid,
just do like cleaning out a kiddy letter box, and
(11:14):
it's like, oh God, this is where I this is
where I'm gonna be when they find me later, You're
not gonna be pretty.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
You were putting a diaper on a small dog that
wouldn't stop going to the bathroom in the house and
do that. If I die right now holding a dog's diaper,
what are people gonna think my life was like this?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
This? Would? You know? You do all these great things
in life.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You go out, you raise money for charity, you help
out the homeless, you build some business, you discover a
solution to a problem that affected.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
A lot of people.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
But then then, but then you do this one thing
while you're dying, like what happened to David Carrodine for example.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
That's all you're ever gonna hear amount and that's all
they remember you for him, Yeah, for the rest of
your life. That's why I'm really worried about Genie c Riley.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
She's okays supposed to be now, I know, but let's
face it, how much longer can it last? She did
some great things in her life. She recorded Harper Valley Pta. Yeah,
she hooked up with Elvis, Yeah, hooked up hooked up
with men you and.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Don't forget when she recorded Harper Valley.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Pta was that song she had that was a good
I mean, obviously that was a big record. And then
and then her Greatest Hits album? Did it feature Harper
Valley Pta?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I think it did. And if you liked her Greatest Tits,
there were two other things you might have liked her.
What kind of hits? Her Heads Biggest had some big hits?
Is my point? Bigcause Dolly's huge.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
But if she were to die in an embarrassing way,
and I wish no harm on Genie c Riley, I
love Genie c Riley, my former lover. Uh, you know,
it would be embarrassing to think that people wouldn't even
remember that one time that she hooked up with the
most handsome guy on a morning radio show in America?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Is that incredible? I know?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
You know. In other news, for centuries, the peacock has
been justly renowned for its ability to absolutely wow the
socks off everybody.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
It's its feathery display. It's a fantastic display. The male
of the animal kingdom usually is the one who puts
on a display like that, whether it's feathers and flowery
and colorful, or whether it's you know, just a buffalo
or a cow or something headbutting somebody else.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
And for centuries that was enough. The peacock hasn't needed
any other superpowers to impress people until now. Now what
Peacock feathers, according to a new report, are greatly admired
for their bright, iridescent colors. We all agree, But it
turns out they can also emit laser light when dyed
multiple times, According to a paper published in the Journal
(13:45):
of Scientific Reports.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
How many times can a peacock die? Per the authors,
it's the first example of a biolaser cavity within the
animal kingdom. Stopping now, it's true, I found a new
cavity in an animal, a biolaser cavity. Oh boy, you
know what this means? Are going to be out there
rounding up peacocks now?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, thankfully we won't have any Godzella sized peacocks running
around the National Zoo anytime soon. Scientists had to go
to some lengths to even coax the laser beams from
the peacock feathers in the first place.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
How do you do that? You know, you gotta go
to science school for this stuff. Bill, It's probably more
complicated than it sounds. It turns out colorful peacock feather
it is colorful. Do in part two how they are structured.
It's not just straight up coloration, but also a complex
process of light fraction billy ed not purely.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Yeah, that gives the feathers their characteristic hue. Scientists exploited
this interesting feature to develop their successful peacock feather laser test.
Uh huh, guys, I know this sounds ridiculous, but it's
a real thing.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Peacocks can emit lasers. How about that they cut away
at wanted and now it's the peacock. It's true.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
We always wanted sharks with laser beams. And while we
didn't get our dream of sharks with laser beams shooting
out of their eyeballs, now we do have peacocks with
laser beams shooting out of their feathers.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Well, that's a that's a wonderful. We are approaching a
perfect world. We're not quite there yet, but I have
a recommendation. Well I can't wait to find out what
the recommendation is. If we did this one thing, I
think it would seal the deal. Perfect world. Sidney Sweeney
and Pam Bondy trade jobs. Now you're talking because I
(15:23):
don't like Pam Bondi and I do like Sidney Sweeney,
but wouldn't like see Pam Bondy in her Denham jeans.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I wouldn't hate it. And some might hear this idea,
and thank you guys. Sidney Sweeney's not qualified to be
attorney general. Well neither was Pam Bondi. Apparently not.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
No, absolutely not. People are giving her a hard time. Man, Well,
you'll like to give her a hard time.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Kind Yeah, she is a beautiful woman though, you know Sidney,
both of them. Oh yeah, Pam Bondi's problem has never
been her appearance. It's that she wasn't a very good
attorney general. We could have had Matt Gates. Could you
imagine how much fun it would be with Matt Gates?
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh yeah, he's the one that they first they said
he'd be good, and then they said, no, he can't be, No.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
He can't be because they think a long time ago
he might have partied with chicks on a plane or something.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
They could never really explain it.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
They're like, well, they were underage checks and he trafficked
them over of state lines. And then it was like,
all right, I didn't track them over state lines, and
maybe they weren't underage, but he did party with him.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
It's like Bill Clinton probably dared him to do it.
Bill said, you know, you shouldn't have done that. I'm
not gonna get away with that. Well did he did,
made a mistake and got away with a soul fall.
I mean, you're right, think about it. Bill Clinton went
to Epstein Island like dozens of times. So sure nobody
even partied with young girls on planes. That is what
(16:44):
they said about Matt Gates and for some reason, no problem. Yeah,
but Matt gates tweets are fire, bro. Yeah, and he's
got that R next to his name. That's true. That
really hurts.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah, it is unfortunately, Well, you know the rules, and
you know what John you used to always say?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
What did he always say? Don't forget boys and girls
to eat it every day? Hey again, you've reached the
end of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you.
That means you listened all the way to the end.
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again. No, no, no, there will be a new
show tomorrow. Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or
we're off work. But as always, you could go to
(17:22):
waltonand Johnson dot com and you could find all kinds
of cool stuff there. Our news blog links to our
social media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal lives
are very boring. If you comment on our social media pages,
we might reply, yeah. Chances are we're just sitting around
waiting to hear from you. Yeah, so, what's the big deal.
Go to Walton Johnson dot com today. I'm told there's
a store. Oh yes, we do have a lovely store
(17:43):
and you could buy things there. Walton Johnson dot com.
What's not to love
I know it makes me happy to know I said hungry. Yeah,
(00:03):
same thing. Well, I'd be happier if I wasn't hungry.
If I was full, would be a happier place to
be than hungry. Where's a I could use big old
plate of lasagnire or some uh spaghetti. I like it too.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I know that this music always reminds you of chain
Italian restaurants like ma Giano's or Olive Garden, But I
just like a hole in the wall Italian restaurant where
some guy barely shows up for work. He's an Italian immigrant.
He hates you just because you're there. But it's the
best pasta you ever had.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
They have those wine bottles hanging from the sea or
kianti specifically uh bottles hanging from the ceiling. Why kianti?
What is it about that? That's just the thing. They
did something about serial killers and kianti? Oh, serial killers
ruined kiyanti? I know.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah, farva beans too. I can never eat farva beans
without thinking about that.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Do you ever eat one before? Noo fava? And no?
I think earlier, I don't know what you were talking about.
You mentioned the Real Housewives of somewhere that stephen A.
Smith was like this chan is like Real Housewives were men,
and it just reminded me Denise Richards Charlie Jean Jean's
(01:11):
ex Denise Richards. You know why she on Real Housewives? Well,
she was spotted shooting scenes for the Real Housewives of
Beverly Hills. No word if it's a guest spot or
if she is back as a regular cast member. Now,
you used to watch Real Housewives of Everything all the time.
What happened?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
To be fair, I've never actually watched it. I've just
been in the room while it was on TV. You
used to put it on TV all the time. One
of the things I have learned is that people that
like that show have no idea what's happening in the
real world.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
They're totally detached from reality. Wait, what is called a
real life? Of these people? How do they not know
a real world? Is called a real world?
Speaker 2 (01:51):
I don't think it is. I watched an episode once.
Can I describe you what I saw?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Nothing real about Reality TV?
Speaker 2 (01:57):
One time I watched an episode. This is a brief
explanation of what I saw. It was the new season.
There's all these women at a table together in a restaurant.
There's no explanation of why they're there, there's no explanation
of who they are. All of a sudden, one of
them starts saying mean things to another one.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Uhuh.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
And there's a black lady there, and that woman's never
met these women before, and she starts saying mean things
to the white ladies. And none of it makes any
there's no plot, there's no discernible situation, like, no explanation
of why they've come together, or why they're at dinner
or what they're doing or and they're just saying mean
things to each other. Then suddenly one of them gets up,
knocks a glass.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Over to turn the table over, charges out of the room,
pick up a chair, try to bash it over the
head or one of the other girls. And I can't
tell you who was watching the show, but the person
that was watching it when I was in the room
thought this was the greatest thing he or she had
ever seen in his or her life.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Right thought it was fascinating. I was like, what is exactly?
You know there's a war going on? You thought you
like conflict, We're dropping bombs on people right now.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
You think this is interesting and the most inexplicable. Part
of that whole thing for men to understand is that
the women got it. They knew what was going on,
and it's like they're talking in code and you boys
just did and get it.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Women will actually describe the Real Housewives. They describe it
as exactly what it is. It's trash TV. Women will
often say, oh, I love my trash TV. And that
is a red flag young men. If you're on a
date with a woman and she uses the word trash
TV positively, Oh yeah, that means she values things that
have no substance to them at all. She likes things
(03:34):
that are useless, pointless. She loves drama, she likes watching
people fight about nothing. And if you think that's not
gonna matter later on in your life, you are wrong.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, Kenny Walter heard you talking about some girl you dated.
You know, you've always got these stories this one girl
you dated this one time, and she gave you something
that will be with you forever. I don't think that's true,
but there's something like that, and I don't think that's right.
But said Kenny, you are learning lessons about women that
(04:05):
for me, he says, for Walter ended my dating, you
go from one the drama queens, been there, done that.
Two lunatics, you've obviously been there and done that, and
then you progress along maybe three or four or five
(04:26):
when you get there sooner or later, lawnmower moms and
their urchins. And then that's where you quit. What are
lawnmower moms and their urchins? What does that mean? Like?
Just regular old gals with kids, maybe out living in
a country or someplace good like that. You lose the
drama queens, lose the lunatics, and you get with some
regular gal who knows how to drive a ride a
(04:48):
lawnmower and has a couple of young'uns pull an owner.
You know, you know how they'll pull on you.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
That doesn't sound that bad. I don't At my age,
I don't mind dating women with kids because I'm forty three.
Most normal women in my age have kid by now.
But I did have another weird experience this weekend. Y'all
know what white Linen Night is.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Well, of course that kind of progressed from New Orleans
to Houston after Katrina almost twenty years ago.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
This weekend, I'm hanging out at my house as because
that's where I live, you know, you live at your house.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I live in my house, that's correct.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
And all of a sudden in the phone rings and
it's this young woman I know, and she says, hey,
do you want to go to white linen.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Night with me?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
And I was like, I don't think I own a
article of white clothing, much less an entire wardrobe or
outfit of white linen.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
That's oddly specific. Wouldn't it be better to do that
in Oh, I don't know, October and not August. I know,
I think this is when they do it. I think
that's the point of the white linen is it's cooling
and August nights get a little warm, a little humid
here and there, and so, yeah, you wear the white linen,
all right. So I'm hanging out rather it's Jill gonna
(05:53):
be hot k October, you know. Oh he's not kidding anyway.
So I'm hanging out trying to figure out where I'm
gonna get white clothes from. And then suddenly I realized
I don't have to worry about it. The person don't go. No.
The person at the front desk calls me. He said, Kenny,
there are two young women here. I said two. I
only ordered one and so the two of them. Was
it a bogo? Apparently it was.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
So the door knocks and I opened the door and
there's the one that I thought was coming over, and
she's with her friend, and I go, hey, what are
the two of you doing here?
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Why is your friend here?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
And then she said, and the one girl is the
girl that I was expected to come over, is giddy
with delight and the other one is crying a little bit.
And I was like, oh, women have come over before while
they were crying, but this was new because there was
two of them, right, And usually two of them, you know,
one of their moods will match the other one.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Not the case here. Oh.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
So they come in and I go, what's going on?
And they say, we've just left a date with two guys.
And I'm going to use a fake name here. What
should I call them? They both had the same name.
What should we call him? Some George to both guys
are named George, and we'll just say George one point
zero George two point oh that's their name.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Uh. And I said, what's going on with you too?
And he said, well, we were on a date with
these two guys and one of them just broke up
with her his fiance and the other one is still married.
And I was like, oh, that's interesting. You're on a
date with a married guy. How'd that going? She said,
I did not like it, so I left the date.
And I was like, oh, and what about her? And
she said she did like it and she did not
(07:16):
want to leave the date. And with that, the two
of them proceed to get into a little a pleasant
disagreement over whether or not they and I it occurred,
did they go the pillow fight? You know what? That
wasn't part of the story.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
But since no one yes, so the so the two
of them quickly have a pillow fight with lingerie and
then that ends, and then there's this this this conversation
ensues over whether or not it was right to leave
the party or not. And I had asked the question,
and this is not a question you're supposed to ever
ask women when they're disagreeing with each other.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
It's like, maybe going on a date with a married
guy was a mistake. And with that, both of them right,
And with that, both of them turned and looked at me, like, Kenny,
what's wrong with you? Exactly?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, It's like, I but what if the roles were reversed, right,
Like what if I you know, what if we were
out on a date with married women or whatever, everyone
would agree that.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Was terrible, right, be a terrible thing to do. I
had no idea that people their husbands are like out
of town. It could be hunting or something. You know,
Wait a second, Billy Ed, you're a guy that goes hunting.
Do you really want to all believe me? I know
how it works. You want that to be okay? That
if you go on a hunting trip for the weekend.
Uh oh, you think I don't leave booby traps and
secret cameras and all kinds of stuff around making sure
(08:33):
everything's just gonna be right where I left it when
I get back.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Well, then I got asked, with all those booby traps
and secret cameras and what have you, did you ever
catch Praline doing anything?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Booby traps a funny word, that's pretty funny. Yeah, you're right,
you are so woke. Walton and Johnson Radio Network telled
us a little earlier. He heard us talking about Superman
and and Kung Fu and all those guys that could
do these amazing things. So then people would do something
to do you're like you you shoot arrows and throw
(09:03):
spears at Kung Fu and he just snatches them and
bats them out of the air like it's nothing. So
then you decide it's time to fight him. Yeah, you know,
and this one James rode in, he goes, you notice Superman.
They would shoot Superman and he let six bullets bounce
off of his chest, and when the gun was empty,
they would throw the gun at his face. And what
(09:25):
did Superman do? Well, what did Superman do? He ducked.
Oh yeah, he didn't even try to dodge the bullets,
which he could have. Sure he cut ain't no problem.
It was like shoot me, I don't care, boo boo boom.
But you throw a gun at him from ten feet
away and he ducks because it might have hurt his
He might have hit him in the eye.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
So it sounds like what you're saying is you think
you think Kung Fu is better than Superman.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
He could have took him, but I think he could
have He could have took him Man.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
But you know, if you think about it, while Superman
had kryptonite, there was one thing that could stop ung Fu.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
What would that be? Can he masturbating alone? In a closet.
It turns out. It turns out he had one weakness
and that thing and that killed him when nobody else could.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And that weakness was regular masturbation wasn't good enough for him.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
He needed he needed to kind of. I feel like
the payoff there wasn't really worth it. And you know,
people say it makes it more exciting. I don't. I
don't think I could stand it if it got better.
I mean no, I don't want it to be more exciting.
People always wonder what damn near killed me anyway. People
(10:38):
always wonder what happens after you die?
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Where do you go? Do you go to Heaven, you
go to hell? Are you reincarnated? I don't know the
answer to that, but I do know what happens to
your body a few minutes after you die. Okay, you
get discovered by someone.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Oh yeah, ever in the middle of doing something and
you think, God, I hope this doesn't kill me, because
this is what people are gonna find me doing. I
don't mean sexual, you know, things like that, just anything stupid,
just do like cleaning out a kiddy letter box, and
(11:14):
it's like, oh God, this is where I this is
where I'm gonna be when they find me later, You're
not gonna be pretty.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
You were putting a diaper on a small dog that
wouldn't stop going to the bathroom in the house and
do that. If I die right now holding a dog's diaper,
what are people gonna think my life was like this?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
This? Would? You know? You do all these great things
in life.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
You go out, you raise money for charity, you help
out the homeless, you build some business, you discover a
solution to a problem that affected.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
A lot of people.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
But then then, but then you do this one thing
while you're dying, like what happened to David Carrodine for example.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
That's all you're ever gonna hear amount and that's all
they remember you for him, Yeah, for the rest of
your life. That's why I'm really worried about Genie c Riley.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
She's okays supposed to be now, I know, but let's
face it, how much longer can it last? She did
some great things in her life. She recorded Harper Valley Pta. Yeah,
she hooked up with Elvis, Yeah, hooked up hooked up
with men you and.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Don't forget when she recorded Harper Valley.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Pta was that song she had that was a good
I mean, obviously that was a big record. And then
and then her Greatest Hits album? Did it feature Harper
Valley Pta?
Speaker 1 (12:28):
I think it did. And if you liked her Greatest Tits,
there were two other things you might have liked her.
What kind of hits? Her Heads Biggest had some big hits?
Is my point? Bigcause Dolly's huge.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
But if she were to die in an embarrassing way,
and I wish no harm on Genie c Riley, I
love Genie c Riley, my former lover. Uh, you know,
it would be embarrassing to think that people wouldn't even
remember that one time that she hooked up with the
most handsome guy on a morning radio show in America?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Is that incredible? I know?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
You know. In other news, for centuries, the peacock has
been justly renowned for its ability to absolutely wow the
socks off everybody.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
It's its feathery display. It's a fantastic display. The male
of the animal kingdom usually is the one who puts
on a display like that, whether it's feathers and flowery
and colorful, or whether it's you know, just a buffalo
or a cow or something headbutting somebody else.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
And for centuries that was enough. The peacock hasn't needed
any other superpowers to impress people until now. Now what
Peacock feathers, according to a new report, are greatly admired
for their bright, iridescent colors. We all agree, But it
turns out they can also emit laser light when dyed
multiple times, According to a paper published in the Journal
(13:45):
of Scientific Reports.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
How many times can a peacock die? Per the authors,
it's the first example of a biolaser cavity within the
animal kingdom. Stopping now, it's true, I found a new
cavity in an animal, a biolaser cavity. Oh boy, you
know what this means? Are going to be out there
rounding up peacocks now?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, thankfully we won't have any Godzella sized peacocks running
around the National Zoo anytime soon. Scientists had to go
to some lengths to even coax the laser beams from
the peacock feathers in the first place.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
How do you do that? You know, you gotta go
to science school for this stuff. Bill, It's probably more
complicated than it sounds. It turns out colorful peacock feather
it is colorful. Do in part two how they are structured.
It's not just straight up coloration, but also a complex
process of light fraction billy ed not purely.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Yeah, that gives the feathers their characteristic hue. Scientists exploited
this interesting feature to develop their successful peacock feather laser test.
Uh huh, guys, I know this sounds ridiculous, but it's
a real thing.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Peacocks can emit lasers. How about that they cut away
at wanted and now it's the peacock. It's true.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
We always wanted sharks with laser beams. And while we
didn't get our dream of sharks with laser beams shooting
out of their eyeballs, now we do have peacocks with
laser beams shooting out of their feathers.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Well, that's a that's a wonderful. We are approaching a
perfect world. We're not quite there yet, but I have
a recommendation. Well I can't wait to find out what
the recommendation is. If we did this one thing, I
think it would seal the deal. Perfect world. Sidney Sweeney
and Pam Bondy trade jobs. Now you're talking because I
(15:23):
don't like Pam Bondi and I do like Sidney Sweeney,
but wouldn't like see Pam Bondy in her Denham jeans.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I wouldn't hate it. And some might hear this idea,
and thank you guys. Sidney Sweeney's not qualified to be
attorney general. Well neither was Pam Bondi. Apparently not.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
No, absolutely not. People are giving her a hard time. Man, Well,
you'll like to give her a hard time.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Kind Yeah, she is a beautiful woman though, you know Sidney,
both of them. Oh yeah, Pam Bondi's problem has never
been her appearance. It's that she wasn't a very good
attorney general. We could have had Matt Gates. Could you
imagine how much fun it would be with Matt Gates?
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Oh yeah, he's the one that they first they said
he'd be good, and then they said, no, he can't be, No.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
He can't be because they think a long time ago
he might have partied with chicks on a plane or something.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
They could never really explain it.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
They're like, well, they were underage checks and he trafficked
them over of state lines. And then it was like,
all right, I didn't track them over state lines, and
maybe they weren't underage, but he did party with him.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
It's like Bill Clinton probably dared him to do it.
Bill said, you know, you shouldn't have done that. I'm
not gonna get away with that. Well did he did,
made a mistake and got away with a soul fall.
I mean, you're right, think about it. Bill Clinton went
to Epstein Island like dozens of times. So sure nobody
even partied with young girls on planes. That is what
(16:44):
they said about Matt Gates and for some reason, no problem. Yeah,
but Matt gates tweets are fire, bro. Yeah, and he's
got that R next to his name. That's true. That
really hurts.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah, it is unfortunately, Well, you know the rules, and
you know what John you used to always say?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
What did he always say? Don't forget boys and girls
to eat it every day? Hey again, you've reached the
end of the Walton and Johnson podcast. Good for you.
That means you listened all the way to the end.
Does that mean we're going away now never to be
heard again. No, no, no, there will be a new
show tomorrow. Oh thank goodness, unless it's the weekend or
we're off work. But as always, you could go to
(17:22):
waltonand Johnson dot com and you could find all kinds
of cool stuff there. Our news blog links to our
social media accounts. Believe it or not, our personal lives
are very boring. If you comment on our social media pages,
we might reply, yeah. Chances are we're just sitting around
waiting to hear from you. Yeah, so, what's the big deal.
Go to Walton Johnson dot com today. I'm told there's
a store. Oh yes, we do have a lovely store
(17:43):
and you could buy things there. Walton Johnson dot com.
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