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November 13, 2025 11 mins

On today's poddy, we apologise.

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Actually gonna be by a disclaimer on the disclaimer. Yeah,
don't listen to that disclaimer you get everyone hoody j
from the Big Show here. Now, this isn't absolute, but
we are thinking about putting a disclaimer on we're speaking
about it.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
This is well, are we this.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
Around your kids?

Speaker 1 (00:18):
We're putting a disclaimer on this, and don't play this
around your kids.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
It just gets a bit ra a teen, just a
bit filth. Well, Caysey gets filthy talking about in particular, there's.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Some shocking stuff revolving around jizz.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
Yeah, yeah, do we have to do another one now?

Speaker 2 (00:34):
For all you.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even
closer on.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
Instagram, YouTube and tictu for targets for to seven every
weekday on Radio correct.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
How are we going, fellows, it's a new shirt.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
You got the jament.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
It's not new. It's my goal.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Shoot, That's what I'm saying. Is it's new to my
eyes because it's got trees and ship on it.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
I don't know, actually, you know, I think it's just
like part of.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
My shirt covering human cocks. Okay, and we that and
you won't even know what is it is that human
cox I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Actually I would seriously wear that ship because.

Speaker 4 (01:15):
It's going to cock is a type of bird, so
you'd be like, no that that chicks out.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, human, Yeah, I don't know how it's ever come
to this. But you know that's just life, isn't it.
It is you just you just put a shirt on
and carry on with you.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
You know, fuck it, who cares?

Speaker 3 (01:31):
Get on with your life? Look at Keyesy dominating that
water year by, that's how you do it.

Speaker 4 (01:37):
A scolded me.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Sweet of God, that Keys he must drink ten fucking
glasses of water while we do the show, and every
single time we go to go to the car, I've
gotta go wheeze.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Then he takes fifteen minutes.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
Okay, now he's added the mustard because he's realized this.

Speaker 3 (01:58):
Most of my water here.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
You know why I drink lots of water because it
directly affects how much energy I have on the show fever.
I'm feeling a bit like, I'm like, fuck, I bet
I haven't drank much water. And then I'll scull a
couple of glasses of water. Boom, good to go. And
if I get to five o'clock, the five o'clock top
of the air. And if I haven't done weeze yet,
that's a sign I need to drink more water.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Right, okay, yeah, because your body is absorbed it, obviously
you need.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
To and it makes for some reason, it makes me go.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
And it's always water.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
It's always because I don't have enough water.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
Back in the day, would have drank like coffee and
blah blah blah. But it's actually just water.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
So she just water.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
So I just need I just need water.

Speaker 3 (02:34):
That's a secret mant of people. But you get it.

Speaker 4 (02:38):
Yeah, I get it. Water and arrist me and throw
away the key if I lock me up, Jason, throw
away the.

Speaker 3 (02:45):
Me up and put me in the corner and pull
down my pad.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
With me, because I need to go wheezy.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
And look at your swollen, water bloated testies.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
I don't store urine in my testies?

Speaker 2 (02:59):
What where do you store it?

Speaker 4 (03:01):
In the bladder? I've got a mate who like always
it's a joke, obviously, yeah, but he refuses to lit
it up that he believes that your urine installed in
your balls.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
It's a good one.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
It's just like, well, it's just where it goes.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Always thoughts that you know when you get the old
snip snip.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
Or decision.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
The sect to me that you didn't jiz anymore, But
they mean I since.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
Lond you're pleasantly surprised.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
You still jizz. But it just doesn't have.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
This sperm asola. It doesn't have the sperm. It does
have the sperm epizoa, the liquid. That's just the yeah
ship because that was what initially tasty stuff.

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Where's the sperm go?

Speaker 3 (03:50):
The sperm obviously you get tied up, so it still produces.
Your testicle will still produce your testes of course still
produce sperm, but they're just absorbed through the walls right
into the into your bloodstream.

Speaker 4 (04:05):
Right then they just die.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, they're just gone. So your blood is just filled
with hipms. So when you get blood transfusion, if it's
from a dude like it is going to be full
of jizz and STDs.

Speaker 4 (04:20):
Wow, that seems like a huge decision you'd.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
Have to make.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
There was this weird thing when I like.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
Someone's dying, they're like, quick, we need a blood doner,
and Hody j comes out here take my the like
in the day, the big guys.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
That will be like, I'm not good, I don't want
any of that blood blood. Yeah, so I've got a
lot of g's in my blood because I'm naturally blocked up.
It's a concern for me, right, So you're naturally blocked up.
I don't know what. We don't know what's happened there.
I'm just blocked up, right, So I'm shooting zero zero
jizz like I've had the snip. Yeah, So some kind
of a natural blockage just happened there. But what if

(04:51):
it naturally unblocks and I become a father, Yeah, just
a flood of speA.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
Not me, Maggie Manogi, He'll be in high school at
the time.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
Yeah. I don't know if you guys recall this something
I should have it professionally done.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
In the mid nineties where people were getting blood transfusions,
because that's when I donated back in the mid nineties,
and there was just this outbreak of pregnancies.

Speaker 4 (05:21):
Right because of your Hey, that's such as So you
had of a sick to me in the mid nineties.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, yeah, man, when you were fifteen.

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
The Wholchy Big Show week days from four on Radio Hierarchy,
the Wacky Big Show podcast.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
That's what actually stopped me from getting the snip snap
was I thought, I don't want to not be out
of Jez anymore.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Right, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (05:49):
Around? He loves it.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
That's your favorite part? Is that like the missy afterpart?

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah, it's my favorite shame of it?

Speaker 2 (06:00):
The humiliation?

Speaker 4 (06:01):
Does it look different?

Speaker 3 (06:03):
Tastes the same? Everything?

Speaker 4 (06:06):
That's good.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
I'll take your word for that.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
Bogie still reeks, It's still still.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
Smell still bright yellow, it does.

Speaker 2 (06:19):
Yeah, Okay. I remember actually.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
Reading this very good biography of Oscar Wild when he
was arrested and then subsequently put in prison for homosexuality
and the gay The warden was talking about how he
changed him completely and he just became a very broken man.

(06:46):
But walking into his cell and it just stunk of.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
Ejaculate, really and that did he know?

Speaker 1 (06:54):
The warden who was looking after Oscar Wild?

Speaker 3 (06:58):
I thought you'd get there and every sort of cell
that you go to would already smell.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Probably would. But does the.

Speaker 4 (07:05):
Water know what it smells like?

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Well?

Speaker 4 (07:07):
Probably smell know what it smells like? You know, a
mile away, CAZy, a mile away, someone's is a mile
away from here, And I'm like something recent z. Yes,
you're a sick Yeah, especially in the CBD. I can't
come down here because it's just I.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Get a work of jaculate.

Speaker 4 (07:27):
Yes, I feel like that Warden's full of ship.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Do you want to hear a good quote from Oscar
Old Casey that might inspire you?

Speaker 4 (07:35):
Mean?

Speaker 3 (07:35):
I think that's one in particular, be yourself CAZy. It
was very specific. I'll be chris Key, be yourself Casey.
Everyone else has already taken. Yeah, another one, that's a
good man. Okay, we're all but looking at the stars.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
Is that like some of us are aiming higher for that?

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (07:58):
Learning I don't know any Oscar.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
I could resist everything Kezy, but except except come on, Jonation.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
It's funny.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
The only thing is the only thing worse than being
talked about. Kesey has not been talked about.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yes, there's a famous story to Keysey when he traveled
overseas and he was and he was going through customs
and they said, mister Wilde, do you have anything to declear?
And he said, I have nothing to declare but my genius.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
If that was me, I'd be like, what a.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
You get?

Speaker 3 (08:34):
Rubber?

Speaker 4 (08:36):
That shot man? Where to go?

Speaker 2 (08:37):
But it is cool, Kesy.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
God he is looking weird these days. Jason.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
I know it irritates me when I reference Cool Keysy.

Speaker 4 (08:47):
Well, the issue is that no one listening knows what
you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
There's a guy that walks works here that goes past
that we have dubbed Cool Keysy because he looks sort
of nothing like the same as as a call Hordy
j that looks nothing like him. I'm pretty sure it's
an old woman is where there was a woman, yes,
and then Coole Mowgi is the guy who walks really
straight up. Oh that's right, yeah, very red, that's right. Yeah,
but he's a spot on. So Cool Kesey wears all

(09:10):
sorts of snaarzy clothes. You know, he's an individual baby,
but he's sort of started getting a bit carried away.
He's gone too fast years because a guy in Levin
when I was a kid, and he walk around and
he's sort of dressed like Cool Kesey wear a long
trench coat, yeah, dark sunglasses and that, and you'd often
see him be sitting on a bench. We used to
call him double sex because he was like a spy.
Seemed like a spy, but he wasn't quite you know,

(09:33):
so he's double sex. He wasn't double O seven your name,
but I think he was. I don't know what the
you know, the rights, but I think he was mental.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
Yeah, I think cool key. Just lets listening. He's probably
mid twenties. This is the thing that's weird about it.
In his mid twenties. He wears like a long trench coat,
He smokes a he smokes a vait like a pipe
pipe and wears it.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yes, and he's got weird glass.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
I think we can get this specific, can we not?
I don't think so. Okay, especially that just that thing
that you see at the end of the pigs. Can
we get the time on that? Maybe if we just
cut out that part? Oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah, because
the rest of it was pretty vague. But that narrows
it down a lot, because he's the only one that
does that.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
I kind of wanted to get back to him though.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
Bugger, he's happy in his life totally.

Speaker 4 (10:19):
His happiness is making me furious, so he should Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
He should change that seems fair.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
To be fair.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
He probably looks at your prison jacket and goes, God,
he's just getting fucking weirder and weirder.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
That dude, Jase, you have no idea the amount of
compliments I've had on this jacket.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Really under the prisoners.

Speaker 4 (10:41):
Yeah, this one dude come to me, He's like, man,
I love your jacket. I was like, man, you wreak
of jizz. It was Oscar wild true story.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Wrap it up. Put a disclaimer on this one.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Oh yeah, can you put a disclaimer that says quitting
this one?

Speaker 4 (11:03):
It was like.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
What you tell you?

Speaker 2 (11:09):
Though?

Speaker 3 (11:09):
They look shiny and new.

Speaker 4 (11:11):
Turned on. Man, whatever is one of the left bigger
than the one on the right wider?

Speaker 2 (11:16):
You're na, na, I think they're the same.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
So I fucking do my head and if I noticed
something like.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
That, it's maybe half a cend to meter smaller.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
All right, we'll do as well. That's bullshit. As we'll
sign off here and then we'll record a disclaimer.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
We'll put it. Okay, yes, all right, here we go.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
This is the big show, four or seven week days
on HODAK. You'll love it.
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