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March 13, 2026 10 mins

On today's poddy, we're recording from the TranzAlpine Express from Christchurch to Greymouth on our way to the Wild Foods Festival!

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Featuring Jason Hoyte, Mike Minogue, and Keyzie, "The Big Show" drive you home weekdays from 4pm on Radio Hauraki.

Providing a hilarious escape from reality for those ‘backbone’ New Zealanders with plenty of laughs and out-the-gate yarns.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Kidd, are you mean it's the feelers from the big Ja.
How are you going traveling on the Trans Alpine Express?

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Boy, boy, lads, it's just.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Been majestic, certainly, has Jason? Is this the bench music?

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (00:25):
This is so we've got a little that this should
be No, I mean this should be normal music going. Yeah, yeah, magnificent.
So we've got a little portable set up here.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
We're in the cafe carriage of the Trans Alpine and
we haven't used this set up since the batch files. Yes,
so Pugs has actually loaded a few little snippets in.

Speaker 4 (00:45):
Oh how good? What have I got? That's the music,
that's the Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
It's a very aesthetically pleasing little board whatever it is.
It's got all the sort of neo and neon lights
and very compact. But yes, here we are on the
train and after a magnificent night down in Christchers. It's
always good down in Craystchers, isn't it. Are you taking
photos of my shoes?

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Now?

Speaker 4 (01:14):
Now of the angle of your feet? And funnily enough,
well he was taking photos of your feet. I was
taking images of his feet right, because he's got the loafers.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
On, he's got his shiny loafers.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
On talking pugs on. By the way, we're currently going
over Arthur's Pass. Are we doing a doing a radio
show while driving up in the mountains next to a river?
It's pretty amazing.

Speaker 4 (01:33):
Now we're just about to get to the cass apparently
feelers and the case has got a population of one
person by Bury the mad dog, and we went past him,
and you're standing outside and was, well, what Joe is
looking in the.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Mirror made it's a sort of it's a sort of
life I aspire to feelings with aspiring with my trill
bey head on coming to greet the folks.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
In the train.

Speaker 4 (01:56):
How long do you think you'd last?

Speaker 2 (01:57):
About a day?

Speaker 4 (01:58):
Yeah, I think you get torn up by Grizzly and
their aunt Ny here.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yes, I would die, but.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
Here, look at this.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
The other thing is it always it sparks my fantasies
of going bush places like this.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
I completely agree. It's a kind of place that makes
you wish you were a different person. Yes, the kind
of person that could go bush and not die. I
mean you'd certainly die out here. Key, you wouldn't last
twenty minutes, no, I know, but I wouldn't pretend I could,
Like you guys, No, I wouldn't pretend I could. I'm
very well aware that I am. As we were coming over,
we're pointing out when we'rekezy, as so many people would
have before us. But that there was the telegraph poles,

(02:36):
and you think somebody's had to put those here. There's
this train track that we're running on that somebody's had
to put there. I would have just stayed home and
Sae just let's not worry about it, fellers.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, let's just get it past.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
Do we need a train track to go? We need connection?
I don't think. So. Just stay here, do a little
bit of work, you see.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Because the thing is to I I watch a lot
of camping videos on YouTube, right, no camp videos, and
it's always dudes in Alaska who are out in the wild,
you know, and they just go camping and catch their
own food and you know, make their own.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Shelters and just sparks the sort of wild man and me.

Speaker 4 (03:15):
It does briefly and then you go outside and have
a vapor in you said yourself, it's cold. Well, actually, just.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Jersey and beg.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Jason spent the entire train trip trying to charge his
vape off of powerbeach.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
It's just pathetic because it's just your vape's empty.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
You're fuming about it, and whilst this beautiful scenery is outside,
Jason's desperately plugging in.

Speaker 4 (03:37):
And this is a true story. Jason is up at
four o'clock in the morning, fantasizing about being able to
get a new vape. Googled a local gas station Google Maps.
Ten minutes did we get five minutes on the side
of the road, side of the train track. Hoidy J

(03:58):
searched when the nearest gas station would open. There's one
four hundred and fifty meters already got out the cracker
door on six am. He was banging on the door,
but it was gas only. It didn't have a shop.
It was jel city, and.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
I was so human.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
I was just because I got a little bit lost,
even with Google Maps.

Speaker 4 (04:20):
That sounds about right. That's what you'd be so good
in the world, because there is no right way to
go exactly exactly.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
It's we watched when my wife and I watched Hunt
for the Wilder People at the theater. The theater, I
was convinced that I could have been a Wilder person
with what's his name good? The acting was yeah, Ricky
and Sam Neil. I was like, when they go Bush,
it's actually quite fun like it looks it looks fun. Yeah,
So I was like, I could go Bush, but the
reality is I wouldn't be able to last at all.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yeah, you're a real device kind of guy, you see
where I don't need much and so.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
You were just a vapor power banguly.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
I think I would do the best out of the
three of us if we all went bo. This is now,
There's there's some content in this naked and I would
be afraid just drop us in the center, drop us
in Victoria Park there in the middle of Auckland.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Well, my parents going.

Speaker 4 (05:12):
Off, Oh shit, what is it a phone call?

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Oh no, it's just telling me to charge my bag.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (05:19):
The Hiarchy Big Show weekdays from four on Radio Hdarchy
The Hiarchy Big Show with Jason, Mike and Kyzy tune
in weekdays in four on radio.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
But seriously, if we did do some sort of naked enough,
do we have to be naked? No, we don't have
to be because.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
This is the part that we're missing is a bit
outside right now, it's actually freezing it's quite cool. Yeah,
it'll be freezing out of there, so we'd need to
build a fire straight away.

Speaker 4 (05:44):
If you're like, we're in the middle of nowhere, except
I can see a track over the driver down a road. Now, well,
this is the road through to Arthur's Pass.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
You see. This isn't wild enough for me.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
No, the fact that I can see civilization doesn't work
for me.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
I need it to be fully bush, fantacic lean.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
What percentage bush is this? Do you reckon?

Speaker 1 (06:04):
It's pretty bushy, Jakes, I'd say it's it's about ninety boosh.

Speaker 4 (06:08):
Oh, I know, I'd say it's a three out of
ten bouche. You've got all these power lines. I can
see vans packed over there campfans. Yeah. Yeah, we're on
a train. We're on a train that we're waiting for
a coffee, a coffee machine. Right, this is nine per
boo for Joe. Yes, how is your sleep, Fellers? Terrible sleep?

(06:30):
God real? Yeah, mine was a shock or two.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
But when you come Bay on a trip like this,
you just I kind of reside resigned myself to the
first sign, resign myself to the fact that I'm going
to have shitty sleeps.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
Yes, and you just go, well, well, last night, what
was your issue. You had the aircorn, I had the
air con. Yeah, the coon to me as well, blowing
a gale.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
But no, his issue was that he was pretty steamed,
and he was and he needed to He wanted to
burn it out, which is the thing I can relate to.

Speaker 4 (06:58):
I wanted to burn out the sickness.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, you had to burn out the sickness.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
But he was just getting stabbing pains in his bowls.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
Because I ordered a spicy tie noodle curry, which is delicious,
and I said the lady said medium, and I said hot,
and she said, oh, do you like it hot?

Speaker 4 (07:14):
We can make it tie hot.

Speaker 3 (07:15):
And there were people around me sort of looking right,
and I was like, yeah, yeah, tye hot.

Speaker 4 (07:19):
Did you have it tie hot?

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (07:20):
And it was a huge mistake. Yeah, I saw that
you can't enjoy it. Well it was.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
It was so good for the first half of it,
and then what happened was just started compounding and then
it all had it once right, and then every time
I had another mouthful, it was just but I ate it.
It is bloody beautiful, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
It is?

Speaker 4 (07:38):
Because you guys were texting around about eight thirty the year,
do you want to come out for dinner? I just
avowed a chicken burger while lying on my bed with
some chips and a can of Coca cola.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Was that room service?

Speaker 4 (07:50):
Yeah? And it was lights out. I was lights out
eight fifty six.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (07:54):
Was it good? It was good enough? Absolutely? Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
I made the mistake and not order in any water.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
I didn't want to.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
I usually drink water out of the tap of a hotel.
For some reason that one, I was like, I don't know,
I didn't get a very clean water vibe from the hotel,
if you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
No, yeah, no.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
I sort of tossed and turned for quite a while,
and then yeah, as I say, I wake up the
rubbish trucks.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Rubbish trucks.

Speaker 4 (08:20):
But you get that in the big city, the big smoke.

Speaker 2 (08:23):
I'm used to it. I mean, I'm pretty you.

Speaker 4 (08:26):
Know, just how many how many different shades of backbone
in the city, hoody j backbone. He's in a wild man,
your full bush, ninety boos, and a.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Train, But the reality is he's actually none of these,
and everywhere he goes he's terrified.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
I thought, I sort of I imagine you back in
medieval day as Jason, I sort of because you've got
to find your value, don't you. Yes, And I sort
of see you in the king's court. Yes, and you
would be the gestt and every time, and we should
absolutely make this because every now and again the king's
going to say, bring me made jest, and then whatever,

(09:09):
the person is just going to come out and grab you,
and you're going to go and you're going to put
on your hat with a bell on either and go
walking out with your feet at nine and three o'clock
with the bells on the end, and go walking out there.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
To cheer them up.

Speaker 4 (09:27):
Answering you juggling at the risk of death as well, Jase,
because you put to death if you're not good enough,
So you're going to have to commit. I love that
idea for you.

Speaker 3 (09:34):
So he's juggling and he's looking at the king, He's like,
what do you do for a crust there?

Speaker 4 (09:38):
Backbone off with their heads off, with their heads good key.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
I'd probably be an advisor or like the king's royal
chamberlain or something.

Speaker 4 (09:50):
Oh yeah, you'd be You would be the what do
they call them, a footman in charge of jacket.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
That's not what they's of them. That's out a position. Yeah,
stable boy, yep, on working on the old horses. Hey,
have you enjoyed this train special?

Speaker 2 (10:09):
Mogie?

Speaker 3 (10:09):
Don't touch the buttons, Mogie, stop it. He's never had
access to sound effects before, haven't it. Oh yeah, thank
you for listening to the give Me some Chips train outro.

Speaker 4 (10:28):
Yeah, there's going to be more trained content coming your way.
Already come your way.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
Actually, yeah, don't forget the big show four or seven
weekdays radio Hurdach, you could forget it.
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