Artemis Noir - the middle school drama teacher is casting your daughter

Charlotte's Webb is too pedestrian for Artemis Noir - the drama teacher formerly known as Jubal Fresh.

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The wildest, most hilarious prank call podcast from The Jubal Show! Join Jubal Fresh as he masterminds the funniest and most outrageous phone pranks, catching unsuspecting victims off guard with his quick wit, absurd scenarios, and unmatched comedic timing. Whether he's posing as an over-the-top customer service rep, a clueless boss, or an eccentric neighbor, no call is safe from his unpredictable humor. Get ready to laugh out loud and cringe in the best way possible! New episodes drop every weekday—tune in and let the prank wars begin!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's another Jebile phone frame Mornings on the twenties. Hello.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello, this is Artemis Noir. I was looking for Josie's mom,
Mary Beth. Yes, sir, Greetings Mary Beth. I'm sure you've
heard of me, you know.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Actually I'm not familiar.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Who What are you related to, Artemis Noir.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm the drama teacher at middle school, and your daughter
Josie has gone out for the lead role in my play.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yes, she has, yes, and I'm.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Calling to speak with you before I let her know
the big news. Okay, After careful, careful, careful consideration, I
am deciding to go with your daughter Josie as the
lead in Charlotte's Web, The Revenge of Wilbur.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Oh, my gosh, wait, the Revenge of Wilbur.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yes, it's my artistic take on Charlotte's Web. I think
it's so pedestrian when middle schools and elementary schools and
high schools just rip somebody else's play and do that.
So I've written my own version of it. It's Charlotte's Web,
The Revenge of Wilbur. It's a classic farmyard tale that
takes a turn when Wilburt becomes obsessed and vengeful seeking

(01:19):
justice for Charlotte's death instead of peaceful farm animals, which
is so boring. It's gritty, and Wilbert teams up with
a sleazy rooster and it's a suspiciously sinister spider plotting
to take down the farm owners in a full out
barnyard revolution. My tagline for it, you haven't heard it yet.
My tagline for it is you mess with the web,
you get.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
The hoofs.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Oh okay, And so I'm going to need her to
method act a bit. There is a lot of cursing
written into the script, so I'm going to ask for
your approval. You yes, let you be able to curse
around the house, use it, you know, four letter words
here and there.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Well, no, that's not going to work.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Well, I thought you were a supportive parent who wanted
her to have the lead in my play.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
I mean, this is crazy though, Like I feel like
I'm going to need to have a conversation with the
principal because you know, we worked really hard on the material.
She's going to be excited, but there's no way she's
going to be swearing around the house. I mean that's
I also need.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Her to start researching roles in order to get inspiration
for her character. And I'm going to use her to
watch the movie's Scarface at least three times a day.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
Excuse me, She's a middle school student. Why do you
think it's appropriate for a middle school student to be
watching Scarface for a production of Charlotte's Web. This is
making absolutely no sense. And I feel like, not only
is this idiotic, but it's also it's dangerous. They don't
take a classic of Charlotte's Web and change it into

(02:46):
something ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
This is classic.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
I honestly to say, it's so boring, the regular Charlotte's
Web boring, Yes.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Said New York.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
Literally, we've been reading it every week, and.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
To be setting New York City as.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
Well, New York City, okay.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
The gritty streets of Brooklyn.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
Okay, So I'm going to have to talk to Josie's dad.
I'm going to have to make a call to the principal.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Okay, Well, then fine, I guess she does not get
any roles in the play. Then I was going to
cast her as the lead, but apparently her mother's not
willing to commit.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
I it's not that I'm not willing to commit, it's fat.
I'm not going to have her be part of this
ridiculous production. It's just crazy. Well, what did you say?
Your name was again?

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Artemis Noir?

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Artemis Noir. Okay, that sounds made up legitimately, like what
do you Shakespeare?

Speaker 2 (03:46):
No, Shakespeare was attack as far as I'm concerned, And yes,
it is made up.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
It's the name that I gave myself.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
Okay, my daughter's not watching Scarface, She's not going to
be swearing around the house. And I'm going to have
to make a call to the principle and talk about
get you fired because this is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Well fine, then I'll just let you know this is
a prank phone call. Oh god, this is actually Jubil.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
From the Jubil Show doing a phone prank on you
and your husband set you up.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
Oh lord, it's a joke.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Oh my god, my blooded boiling.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
He said that you've been helping your daughter get ready
for a role in the school play and wanted to
mess with you. Oh.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
I could not believe someone was going to make Charlotte's
Love into a murdering Yeah. I can't.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Wake up every morning with Jubile phone pranks. We say
mornings on the twenties,