Do Not Scratch Your Eyes

Do Not Scratch Your Eyes

Ever wondered what it’s really like to support Watford FC? Well now you can find out as Justin, Carl and Peter guide you through the highs and lows with the help of fellow fans, ex-players and celebrity hornets. We are a podcast by stupid fans for fans who have patience and a low level of expectations as to what a podcast should deliver. This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes.

Episodes

October 27, 2026 • 56 mins
It's the Norwich City preview, and Peter welcomes back our good friend Adam from The Pink ’Un to find out why things haven't quite gone according to plan at Carrow Road. Philippe Clement restored optimism last season, but a difficult start has brought familiar questions about recruitment, ownership and the relationship between club and supporters. All sounds rather familiar, doesn't it? We look at Norwich's summer business, ...
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Another away day, another defeat and another 1,700 Watford supporters wondering quite why they bothered making the journey. Wolves took the points with a 1-0 victory, but it was the manner of Watford's performance that had callers reaching for some particularly colourful descriptions. We discuss the tactics, the midfield that appeared to have gone missing and whether Dionisi has any answers left. At least the goalkeeper gave us som...
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October 22, 2026 • 58 mins
Well, it had been a quiet week at Watford Football Club. Apart from two spectacular collapses, an intervention from Sir Elton John, an increasingly heated debate amongst supporters and Gino Pozzo deciding to have a chat with Roy Moore. Justin, Carl and Peter finally get together to make sense of it all, which may be asking rather a lot of three people who occasionally struggle to agree on what day it is. Still, with so much happeni...
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October 20, 2026 • 32 mins
It's Wolves away, and we're joined by Connor of the Molineux View, who appears to have commandeered Molineux itself, switched on the floodlights and settled in for a chat. We revisit that extraordinary FA Cup semi-final, compare the rather familiar frustrations of two clubs whose owners seem particularly fond of selling their best players, and discover how Wolves are finding life back in the Championship. Misery, it seems, enjoys c...
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Well, that wasn't quite what we were expecting! After two thoroughly miserable defeats, Watford somehow rediscovered the concept of playing football and dispatched Nathan Jones's Charlton Athletic 2-0. The threatened protests failed to materialise, but the players certainly turned up, with a change of formation, some previously much-maligned performers earning deserved praise and the rather unfamiliar experience of enjoying a Satur...
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Mark as Played
Well, that wasn't quite what we were expecting! After two thoroughly miserable defeats, Watford somehow rediscovered the concept of playing football and dispatched Nathan Jones's Charlton Athletic 2-0. The threatened protests failed to materialise, but the players certainly turned up, with a change of formation, some previously much-maligned performers earning deserved praise and the rather unfamiliar experience of enjoying a Satur...
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Mark as Played
October 16, 2026 • 10 mins
Hear Carlos do a passable impression of Justin by thoroughly depressing friend of the podcast and all round good egg, Andy Collins about ongoing events!!! COYH!! This Podcast has been created and uploaded by Do Not Scratch Your Eyes. Huge thanks to all our Patreons: Chris Giannone, RichWFC2, Steve Holliman, Paul Fiander Turner, Sean Gourley, Lee Anselmo, John Parslow, Mark von Herkomer, Neil Silverstein, Steve Brown, Dave Laven...
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With Watford still picking up the pieces from two fairly spectacular collapses, Charlton Athletic arrive at Vicarage Road on Saturday for a game that may well be overshadowed by events off the pitch. We catch up with Louis from Charlton Live to discover how the Addicks are enjoying Championship life this season, why three opening victories have been followed by a rather frustrating winless run, and whether Tyreece Campbell is final...
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A 5-1 defeat at Cardiff, a performance that barely warrants the description, and reports emerging during the game that Watford might be preparing to dispense with yet another head coach. Justin, battling a dreadful cold, and Carl take the reins for a post-match phone-in that rapidly becomes about something far bigger than ninety minutes of football. Supporters are furious, but the anger as has been the case for a long time is not d...
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Watford head to Cardiff on Tuesday night for the third instalment of our Welsh trilogy, and we catch up with old friend Ben from View from the Ninian to find out how life is treating the Bluebirds. After a brief excursion into League One, Cardiff are back in the Championship with a manager in Brian Barry-Murphy who appears to have performed something approaching a footballing personality transplant. Gone is the traditional approach...
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October 7, 2026 • 36 mins
The international break is finally over and Watford return to Vicarage Road to face a Burnley side whose season has taken a rather unexpected turn. Old friend Joe from TurfCast joins us to explain how a club recently accustomed to bouncing between the Championship and Premier League has instead found itself looking nervously in the other direction — and why the next couple of games could be particularly important for their ne...
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We’re trying something new at DNSYE — PREVIEW, our attempt to fill some of the space left behind by programmes and fanzines, combining longer-form written pieces with the usual podcast discussion. And for the first proper outing, Peter has chosen something reassuringly straightforward: Spanish tax law, Luxembourg finance vehicles and the forthcoming Gino Pozzo trial. What could possibly go wrong? We look at what the ...
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September 18, 2026 • 59 mins
Watford go into the international break after a 1–0 defeat at Bristol City and another evening that exposed just how stretched the squad has become. Players are filling unfamiliar positions, others are still searching for fitness, and callers largely sympathise with Alessio Dionisi as he tries to assemble a functioning side from increasingly limited options. There were glimpses from Amin Nabizada and confident ball handling f...
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September 15, 2026 • 46 mins
Watford head to Bristol City after a Stoke performance where the hospitality was excellent, the company delightful and unfortunately somebody eventually produced a football. We revisit Amin Nabizada’s latest ridiculous finish, a midfield currently available in travel size only, and the continuing debate over what constitutes criticism, analysis or simply shouting at a screen while repeatedly asking why nobody has tracked the ...
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Mark as Played
September 12, 2026 • 68 mins
Watford lose 2–1 at home to Stoke in a game where the scoreline does the performance considerably more favours than Watford managed to do themselves. We discuss being comprehensively outplayed in midfield, a side already looking worryingly leggy, players being asked to play through problems, and a substitutes’ bench featuring two goalkeepers, two right-backs and precious little ability to change what was happening in fr...
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September 8, 2026 • 70 mins
Watford somehow turn a first half described variously as “dog shit”, “abject” and “turgid” into a 2–1 win over Preston. We discuss a victory apparently retrieved from several feet inside the jaws of defeat, an enormous intervention from Federico Ravaglia and whether Alessio Dionisi’s greatest achievement was changing the game — or simply surviving the opening 45 minutes without ...
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September 8, 2026 • 37 mins
Watford welcome Stoke with the season already threatening to turn from a run into a trend and a trend into a crisis — which at Watford traditionally takes about half an hour. We look back at the late-window recruitment, an injury list doing its best impression of a subscription service, and a manager apparently squeezing rather more from the squad than the squad-building process deserves.Then it’s over to old friend Tun...
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September 6, 2026 • 35 mins
Preston at home, so we’re joined once again by Ollie from the Butter Pie Podcast, who arrives “living the dream” while Preston sit pointless at the bottom of the Championship before Saturday win over Blackburn. We discuss former Hornet Caleb Wiley providing one small glimmer of hope, the loss of Ben Whiteman and Milutin Osmajić, and a rebuilt strike force currently boasting the reassuring total of one Championship...
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Part Two begins with Groundhog Day looming and the discovery that Dionisi may be approaching the Rob Edwards Barometer considerably earlier than anybody wanted. Tuesday therefore becomes Huge Day, before being upgraded to Super Huge Day, while the proposed tactical solution to Watford’s goalscoring problem is eventually refined to Mattie Pollock at the back and nine forwards. Guardiola presumably taking notes. We also receiv...
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Watford lose 1–0 at West Brom, but apparently we’re now a much more likeable team, which is fortunate because we’re becoming increasingly difficult to assemble. Four injured full-backs means Albert Eames gets introduced to Championship football at the Hawthorns, Kayembe becomes an emergency left-back and Dionisi starts eyeing the crowd to see if anybody has brought boots. There are encouraging debuts for Koulibal...
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