September 23, 2024 • 5 mins
Welcome to Flava Breakfast's Off the Record, an exclusive short, sweet and a little bit juicy chat you won't hear anywhere else!
In today's episode, Stace discusses the dance of a parent to a teenager. The act of balancing of involvement without being too overboard.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
The Flavor Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
You're listening to Stacissura and Charlie's Off the Record.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Puts your record. Welcome to Off the Record. You were
staying a ZERI this morning, and this is where we
bring things they didn't go on the show. This is
oh well, I hate to admit it to you, Stace,
but I kind of love it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
See the balancing act of for me trying to anticipate
anything sneaky my teenagers are doing because I know how
sneaky I was, and yet trusting them and trying to
be different and healed, and yet knowing what I did.
(00:45):
It's such a balance because I've got one teenager at
the moment who's like I can see from my father.
They're asking questions that are leading to something they want,
a massive thing they want. They're like, oh, how much
money have I got to my account? Oh how much
does it cost to do this? Ah? When was my
brother allowed to go on an overseas trip? You know,
(01:07):
am I. I can see it from a million miles away.
It's like I'm standing on the watchtower going okay, so
you're leading up to asking to go on a trip
without us, and yet I don't want to be like, mean,
do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, I would do I did really sneaky, naughty things,
so did I and got away with it. So it's
I thought. Like a friend of mine, she put up
this post saying, this is the dance of being parents
to a teenager, like kind of knowing when to step
in and when to just let them figure it out
(01:42):
for themselves, how to keep in touch with what they're
doing without helicoptering them.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
But then also not just lead it, saying is to
everything and creating someone who you know, you know, just
just assumes that they can do whatever they want.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
And there's the things that sometimes do I like put
in a rule for the sake of it, Like I
always want to make sure that rules are valid because
I hate it. You know, everyone hates said at a
workplace to go, Well, why is that? Well that's the
rule and there's no valid reason for it.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
So like when my kids have said I don't think
it's fair because of this and this and this, I
tried listening only and that is actually okay, good poor point.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Good point, but so it should be in my opinion,
like if you can prove a good case, then you know,
as appearance, you should be open minded to hear them out,
especially because let's all be honest, like, when you're a teenager,
I mean I your emotions are so intense and so
real and so large. So when a teenager gets passionate
(02:37):
about something, they're not joking like, they feel that very
very deeply. So you know, if they want to put
in the work, you know, you do have to at
least hear them.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
In my opinion, well that's the thing is I heard
a really awesome speaker say the other day. So when
you know, say, teenagers are experiencing disappointment, which can quickly
become shame, how do we help them? And she's one
of the things is you gotta let them feel it
and then also find their own way to get perspective
on it. Don't tell them, oh, lot, there's kids starving
(03:07):
and gaza. You know, that's not perspective for some of them.
Some of them will be will bring out empathy in them,
some of them white. But they've got to find their
own empathy. They also got to name it. Go what
is it that I feel? I feel really disappointed?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Whatever?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
And by the way, I think these are really good
tips for adults as well, and she said, and don't
save them, like let them feel like.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Because under and they're like, You're right. That applies all
through life. You've got to think about how many times
I have ended up talking to or dating a guy
that's just a totalkndic heead and your friends can give
you all the advice in the world, but I'm telling
you now like you need to make your own path.
(03:47):
We all need to do it. You still have to
learn that you can't, like you said, you can't save
them and protect them and help them avoid everything, even
if you can see it coming clear as day.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, and also remembering, like you say, this is the
first time that I've ever experienced it. So you know,
you know once you get to be older, that things
will pass and that you will change how you feel
about and eventually you look back and go, what a day.
But then in that moment you end up writing songs
like Linga like we were talking about tod did you
have delighted linger? She wrote that like as a teenager.
(04:19):
This is Dolores from the Cranberry's which has beg one
TikTok again about a seventeen year old. So I mean
a lot of great songs, a lot of great love
songs were written about those first teenage experiences. So you
like trying to have that perspective and go, no, it's
a really big thing for you, even though you know
statistically it would say that this is not going to
be everything in your life forever.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
One hundred percent. So I do want to know, as
she going on.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
The overseas trip TBC beg TBC. But I'm just really
interested that someone had been taking notes noticing what their
older sibling happ been.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Able to get.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
I saw it at age on this stage this time.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
You don't need to take it to that place, Stole.
If you want to go overseas, you you don't have
to hit it from that angle. That's some little childish chake.
Let me tell you. Thanks for listening to Stace, Azura
and Charlie's Off the record.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Catch them live every weekday from six am on Flavor
The Flavor Podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
You're listening to Stacissura and Charlie's Off the Record.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Puts your record. Welcome to Off the Record. You were
staying a ZERI this morning, and this is where we
bring things they didn't go on the show. This is
oh well, I hate to admit it to you, Stace,
but I kind of love it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
See the balancing act of for me trying to anticipate
anything sneaky my teenagers are doing because I know how
sneaky I was, and yet trusting them and trying to
be different and healed, and yet knowing what I did.
(00:45):
It's such a balance because I've got one teenager at
the moment who's like I can see from my father.
They're asking questions that are leading to something they want,
a massive thing they want. They're like, oh, how much
money have I got to my account? Oh how much
does it cost to do this? Ah? When was my
brother allowed to go on an overseas trip? You know,
(01:07):
am I. I can see it from a million miles away.
It's like I'm standing on the watchtower going okay, so
you're leading up to asking to go on a trip
without us, and yet I don't want to be like, mean,
do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, I would do I did really sneaky, naughty things,
so did I and got away with it. So it's
I thought. Like a friend of mine, she put up
this post saying, this is the dance of being parents
to a teenager, like kind of knowing when to step
in and when to just let them figure it out
(01:42):
for themselves, how to keep in touch with what they're
doing without helicoptering them.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
But then also not just lead it, saying is to
everything and creating someone who you know, you know, just
just assumes that they can do whatever they want.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
And there's the things that sometimes do I like put
in a rule for the sake of it, Like I
always want to make sure that rules are valid because
I hate it. You know, everyone hates said at a
workplace to go, Well, why is that? Well that's the
rule and there's no valid reason for it.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
So like when my kids have said I don't think
it's fair because of this and this and this, I
tried listening only and that is actually okay, good poor point.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Good point, but so it should be in my opinion,
like if you can prove a good case, then you know,
as appearance, you should be open minded to hear them out,
especially because let's all be honest, like, when you're a teenager,
I mean I your emotions are so intense and so
real and so large. So when a teenager gets passionate
(02:37):
about something, they're not joking like, they feel that very
very deeply. So you know, if they want to put
in the work, you know, you do have to at
least hear them.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
In my opinion, well that's the thing is I heard
a really awesome speaker say the other day. So when
you know, say, teenagers are experiencing disappointment, which can quickly
become shame, how do we help them? And she's one
of the things is you gotta let them feel it
and then also find their own way to get perspective
on it. Don't tell them, oh, lot, there's kids starving
(03:07):
and gaza. You know, that's not perspective for some of them.
Some of them will be will bring out empathy in them,
some of them white. But they've got to find their
own empathy. They also got to name it. Go what
is it that I feel? I feel really disappointed?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Whatever?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
And by the way, I think these are really good
tips for adults as well, and she said, and don't
save them, like let them feel like.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Because under and they're like, You're right. That applies all
through life. You've got to think about how many times
I have ended up talking to or dating a guy
that's just a totalkndic heead and your friends can give
you all the advice in the world, but I'm telling
you now like you need to make your own path.
(03:47):
We all need to do it. You still have to
learn that you can't, like you said, you can't save
them and protect them and help them avoid everything, even
if you can see it coming clear as day.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, and also remembering, like you say, this is the
first time that I've ever experienced it. So you know,
you know once you get to be older, that things
will pass and that you will change how you feel
about and eventually you look back and go, what a day.
But then in that moment you end up writing songs
like Linga like we were talking about tod did you
have delighted linger? She wrote that like as a teenager.
(04:19):
This is Dolores from the Cranberry's which has beg one
TikTok again about a seventeen year old. So I mean
a lot of great songs, a lot of great love
songs were written about those first teenage experiences. So you
like trying to have that perspective and go, no, it's
a really big thing for you, even though you know
statistically it would say that this is not going to
be everything in your life forever.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
One hundred percent. So I do want to know, as
she going on.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
The overseas trip TBC beg TBC. But I'm just really
interested that someone had been taking notes noticing what their
older sibling happ been.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Able to get.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
I saw it at age on this stage this time.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
You don't need to take it to that place, Stole.
If you want to go overseas, you you don't have
to hit it from that angle. That's some little childish chake.
Let me tell you. Thanks for listening to Stace, Azura
and Charlie's Off the record.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Catch them live every weekday from six am on Flavor
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