Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Quinnigantara picks one oh six.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Brad Williams Tweeney, Brad Williams playing the Palace Theater on Thursday?
Is that a real picture of you and Diddy?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
What a way to start an interview? Let's go No,
I know, I know, I know the exact picture you're
talking about. That is a photo of another dwarf who
is between Diddy and Meek Mill. I posted it because
I felt I had to, because I felt so many
people were sitting me, like, dude, we knew you were
at the Didty party. Let's be let's be perfectly clear.
(00:35):
I did not go to ditty parties because, let's face it,
as a dwarf, I did not want to go to
a Diddy party. A dwarf wouldn't do well at a
Didty party. Everyone thinks it's gonna be like three women
just fighting over your thing, like no, it's mine, No,
it's mine, No, it's not. If I went to a
Diddy party, Diddy would just look at me and go finally, okay,
(00:58):
like it's no, absolutely not. I wouldn't go because because
Diddy has a lot of baby oil and I fit
in a lot of places.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
You do, Hey, you did.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You did find the love of your life here at
a possible three way to get what's that story all about?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
You are just hammering it? You are?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Did I love it?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
No? I met my wife on an app that is
called Field when I was living in San Francisco, California.
Field is basically like, yeah, it's a it's a three
way up and uh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the sound
of every car and already just flaming on the break
being like no, what how Yeah, it's spelled f E
(01:48):
E l D. You're welcome. I'm a non pig spokes first,
right anyway, So, uh I went on that app as
part of a radio bit, ironically, and uh I met
two women on the app and one of the women
did not show up on the date and the other
one did. And when you find a hot Asian woman
(02:09):
who's opened the three ways you put a ring on that.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I love that man.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
It's comedian Brad Williams playing the Palace on Thursday Night.
But Brad, you have since because we had you in
probably about ten years ago. So since we last talked
to you, you've gotten married and you've had a kid.
How do you like being a dad? You love it.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I love being a dad man. It's great. I got
the perfect kid. Like I said, my wife, My wife
is Chinese. I'm a dwarf, so we had a Chinese dwarf.
Do you want to know what happens when a Chinese
and a dwarf have a kid. It comes out an emoji?
All right, that's so hippy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my wife
(02:50):
gave birth to an emoji. So she's great. And the
best part is that now it's like I have all
my friends that are having kids and I get to
meet their kids. And every time I hang out with
other kids, I always go back to my daughter and go, oh,
you're the best, the absolute best. I apologize or anything
bad I've ever said to you, because because my daughter's great,
(03:13):
she doesn't you know, she didn't. She doesn't hit an
octave that can break glass when we're at a restaurant
like some kids do.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
You had a great relationship with your father, you know,
really sort of helping you get through what you're dealing
with growing up and that kind of thing, So it
makes sense that it translates you guys have a good relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah, absolutely, she says all my daughter says all the time.
The two sweetest words I could ever hear are daddy stilly.
She says, daddy silly, and I and I just look
at her. I go, I understand why you're saying that,
because you better hope and pray daddy stays silly, because
that's how stuff gets paid for.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
In that.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Comedian Brad Williams a you, it's you. You do a
lot for dwarfism. I think I'm saying that right, and
it's a lot in your act. And I've heard you.
I've heard you say that the urinal is yours. But Brad,
I'm five five? Can I use am I allowed to
use the little urinal?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
All right? So this is this is a hot, highly
contested debate. A lot of people are talking about, you know,
red states, Blue states, right and left, and how our
country is being torn apart. I'm here to tell you
the biggest fight going on right now in our country
is dwarves versus short kings like yourself. Okay, because I'm
(04:29):
not a short king, I don't. I don't find that
as a compliment people like Brad, you're a short king.
No that that that sounds like a chess piece. I'm not.
I'm not a chess piece. Uh, They're like, no, it's
a compliment. We're calling you a short king. It's like,
I don't know. The only short king I think of
is Lord Farquad from Shrek. And uh. Women didn't exactly work.
(04:50):
They weren't lining up with them in no see here.
See here's the thing I have. There are women that
go to my wife and say, I, I know what
it's like. I was with a short guy too, And
then my wife finds out that they're with a five
to five guys and it's like no, no, no, that's way different.
I have something called achondroplastic dwarfism that is a medical
(05:14):
condition you at five to five. God just looked at
you and went, I give up.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Answer my question, bro, if you catch me, if you
catch me in a small urine, are you going to
be mad at me?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
If I catch you at a small journal, I will
take out my broadsword, which for anyone else's a pocket knife,
and I will go right for the Achilles tendon. That's
what I'm going for.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Williams at the Palace Theater on Thursday. What podcast should
we be listening to? You do a couple podcasts?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Oh no, so currently I don't do any podcasts, but
I just like going on people's podcasts. It's a lot
of fun, whether it be bad friends, whether it be
your mom's house with Tom Segura. Love it, man. So
I don't mind. I don't mind being a guest to
break up the monotony of other podcasts. It's a lot
of fun.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I've seen you drinking with Bert Kreischer and I've seen
you laughing with Jay Moore. I mean those are some
big hitters.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Yeah, man. So there was one that I did with
Bert Kreyscher where, uh, this is going to shock you.
We had a couple of cocktails and uh and and
it's called Something's Burning And I'm on there with me
Bert Kreischer and Adam Ray And at one point I
got so intoxicated because Bert just wanted to find out
(06:36):
what happens when a dwarf gets drunk. Well, yeah, so
you got me drunk. And then at one point during
the interview, I fall off the stool, flat out, fall
off the stool, and Bert Bert, in his infinite wisdom, Uh,
he just watched his friend fall off like a four
(06:59):
foot high stoo, which is like twenty two feet from me.
Four foot high school I Land. Bert looks right at
the camera and goes, that's not real, is it?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I love I love you getting lost at Disneyland and
everybody at Disney trying to help you because you're they
think you're a little kid.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Oh yeah, like, well not anymore because I got the beard.
That's like pretty much the main reason why I grew it,
because you know, I got tired of going to going
to hospitals and people thinking I was a Make a
Wish kid. So that's why I That's why I grew
the beard. Nice. But it's interesting because I'm gonna be
(07:39):
taking my daughter to Disney for the first time in
a couple of weeks, and I'm really excited because at
like as a dwarf with another dwarf walking around. I'm
gonna be going through the employee entrances. I'm gonna be
getting discounts. It's gonna be awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Did they scoot you to the front of the line,
you get that kind of treatment.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Absolutely, I'll go to the front line, not because I'm
a celebrity, not because because people just look at me
and they think he probably doesn't have a lot of
time left.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
So yeah, hey, I'm looking at you, and I'm looking
at Peter Danklings and I'm here to say, geez, I'm
here to say, man, I think you might be better
Lincoln looking than the ditch. Oh dude, you're looking good
these days. You're working out.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I should be. I'm fifteen years younger, so it's like
if I'm not, then man, what kind of stuff am
I doing?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
But thank you.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I appreciate the compliment.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
You're looking good.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
What I'm trying to say, no one is doing it.
Thank you comedy more hilariously than Brad. That's the New
York Times quoting right there. And I agree. Every time
we see you, you're so funny. Brad.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I don't want to put you on the spot. But
do you know if there's any tickets left for the
Palace Show?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
There are so I've done. If you've been seeing me
for a while at All Money, you've seen the progression.
It started at the All Buty Funny Bone. It's located
inside your giant mall where adults like to ride ponies
that have small motors in them. Very strange.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
And then started off there and then moved up to
the Egg. The Egg. The Egg is a lot of
fun in Albany, and now I'm at and now I'm
at the Palace Theater. This is my first time there.
There's still a couple of tickets available, so if there's
any survivors of the Nexium cult up there in Albany,
New York, if you could just give the tickets to them.
They've gone through a lot with the branding and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
We've been following you for a long time. We love
seeing you at the Palace. If you ever have time,
next time you're in town, come on it in person.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Okay, absolutely, Man, you're a hell of a human being. Man,
keep it up. Brad Williams Comedian Brad Williams picks one
of the six.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Thanks guys,
It's Quinnigantara picks one oh six.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Brad Williams Tweeney, Brad Williams playing the Palace Theater on Thursday?
Is that a real picture of you and Diddy?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
What a way to start an interview? Let's go No,
I know, I know, I know the exact picture you're
talking about. That is a photo of another dwarf who
is between Diddy and Meek Mill. I posted it because
I felt I had to, because I felt so many
people were sitting me, like, dude, we knew you were
at the Didty party. Let's be let's be perfectly clear.
(00:35):
I did not go to ditty parties because, let's face it,
as a dwarf, I did not want to go to
a Diddy party. A dwarf wouldn't do well at a
Didty party. Everyone thinks it's gonna be like three women
just fighting over your thing, like no, it's mine, No,
it's mine, No, it's not. If I went to a
Diddy party, Diddy would just look at me and go finally, okay,
(00:58):
like it's no, absolutely not. I wouldn't go because because
Diddy has a lot of baby oil and I fit
in a lot of places.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
You do, Hey, you did.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
You did find the love of your life here at
a possible three way to get what's that story all about?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
You are just hammering it? You are?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Did I love it?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
No? I met my wife on an app that is
called Field when I was living in San Francisco, California.
Field is basically like, yeah, it's a it's a three
way up and uh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the sound
of every car and already just flaming on the break
being like no, what how Yeah, it's spelled f E
(01:48):
E l D. You're welcome. I'm a non pig spokes first,
right anyway, So, uh I went on that app as
part of a radio bit, ironically, and uh I met
two women on the app and one of the women
did not show up on the date and the other
one did. And when you find a hot Asian woman
(02:09):
who's opened the three ways you put a ring on that.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I love that man.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
It's comedian Brad Williams playing the Palace on Thursday Night.
But Brad, you have since because we had you in
probably about ten years ago. So since we last talked
to you, you've gotten married and you've had a kid.
How do you like being a dad? You love it.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I love being a dad man. It's great. I got
the perfect kid. Like I said, my wife, My wife
is Chinese. I'm a dwarf, so we had a Chinese dwarf.
Do you want to know what happens when a Chinese
and a dwarf have a kid. It comes out an emoji?
All right, that's so hippy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my wife
(02:50):
gave birth to an emoji. So she's great. And the
best part is that now it's like I have all
my friends that are having kids and I get to
meet their kids. And every time I hang out with
other kids, I always go back to my daughter and go, oh,
you're the best, the absolute best. I apologize or anything
bad I've ever said to you, because because my daughter's great,
(03:13):
she doesn't you know, she didn't. She doesn't hit an
octave that can break glass when we're at a restaurant
like some kids do.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
You had a great relationship with your father, you know,
really sort of helping you get through what you're dealing
with growing up and that kind of thing, So it
makes sense that it translates you guys have a good relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah, absolutely, she says all my daughter says all the time.
The two sweetest words I could ever hear are daddy stilly.
She says, daddy silly, and I and I just look
at her. I go, I understand why you're saying that,
because you better hope and pray daddy stays silly, because
that's how stuff gets paid for.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
In that.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Comedian Brad Williams a you, it's you. You do a
lot for dwarfism. I think I'm saying that right, and
it's a lot in your act. And I've heard you.
I've heard you say that the urinal is yours. But Brad,
I'm five five? Can I use am I allowed to
use the little urinal?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
All right? So this is this is a hot, highly
contested debate. A lot of people are talking about, you know,
red states, Blue states, right and left, and how our
country is being torn apart. I'm here to tell you
the biggest fight going on right now in our country
is dwarves versus short kings like yourself. Okay, because I'm
(04:29):
not a short king, I don't. I don't find that
as a compliment people like Brad, you're a short king.
No that that that sounds like a chess piece. I'm not.
I'm not a chess piece. Uh, They're like, no, it's
a compliment. We're calling you a short king. It's like,
I don't know. The only short king I think of
is Lord Farquad from Shrek. And uh. Women didn't exactly work.
(04:50):
They weren't lining up with them in no see here.
See here's the thing I have. There are women that
go to my wife and say, I, I know what
it's like. I was with a short guy too, And
then my wife finds out that they're with a five
to five guys and it's like no, no, no, that's way different.
I have something called achondroplastic dwarfism that is a medical
(05:14):
condition you at five to five. God just looked at
you and went, I give up.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Answer my question, bro, if you catch me, if you
catch me in a small urine, are you going to
be mad at me?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
If I catch you at a small journal, I will
take out my broadsword, which for anyone else's a pocket knife,
and I will go right for the Achilles tendon. That's
what I'm going for.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Williams at the Palace Theater on Thursday. What podcast should
we be listening to? You do a couple podcasts?
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Oh no, so currently I don't do any podcasts, but
I just like going on people's podcasts. It's a lot
of fun, whether it be bad friends, whether it be
your mom's house with Tom Segura. Love it, man. So
I don't mind. I don't mind being a guest to
break up the monotony of other podcasts. It's a lot
of fun.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I've seen you drinking with Bert Kreischer and I've seen
you laughing with Jay Moore. I mean those are some
big hitters.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Yeah, man. So there was one that I did with
Bert Kreyscher where, uh, this is going to shock you.
We had a couple of cocktails and uh and and
it's called Something's Burning And I'm on there with me
Bert Kreischer and Adam Ray And at one point I
got so intoxicated because Bert just wanted to find out
(06:36):
what happens when a dwarf gets drunk. Well, yeah, so
you got me drunk. And then at one point during
the interview, I fall off the stool, flat out, fall
off the stool, and Bert Bert, in his infinite wisdom, Uh,
he just watched his friend fall off like a four
(06:59):
foot high stoo, which is like twenty two feet from me.
Four foot high school I Land. Bert looks right at
the camera and goes, that's not real, is it?
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I love I love you getting lost at Disneyland and
everybody at Disney trying to help you because you're they
think you're a little kid.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Oh yeah, like, well not anymore because I got the beard.
That's like pretty much the main reason why I grew it,
because you know, I got tired of going to going
to hospitals and people thinking I was a Make a
Wish kid. So that's why I That's why I grew
the beard. Nice. But it's interesting because I'm gonna be
(07:39):
taking my daughter to Disney for the first time in
a couple of weeks, and I'm really excited because at
like as a dwarf with another dwarf walking around. I'm
gonna be going through the employee entrances. I'm gonna be
getting discounts. It's gonna be awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Did they scoot you to the front of the line,
you get that kind of treatment.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Absolutely, I'll go to the front line, not because I'm
a celebrity, not because because people just look at me
and they think he probably doesn't have a lot of
time left.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
So yeah, hey, I'm looking at you, and I'm looking
at Peter Danklings and I'm here to say, geez, I'm
here to say, man, I think you might be better
Lincoln looking than the ditch. Oh dude, you're looking good
these days. You're working out.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I should be. I'm fifteen years younger, so it's like
if I'm not, then man, what kind of stuff am
I doing?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
But thank you.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I appreciate the compliment.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
You're looking good.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
What I'm trying to say, no one is doing it.
Thank you comedy more hilariously than Brad. That's the New
York Times quoting right there. And I agree. Every time
we see you, you're so funny. Brad.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I don't want to put you on the spot. But
do you know if there's any tickets left for the
Palace Show?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
There are so I've done. If you've been seeing me
for a while at All Money, you've seen the progression.
It started at the All Buty Funny Bone. It's located
inside your giant mall where adults like to ride ponies
that have small motors in them. Very strange.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
And then started off there and then moved up to
the Egg. The Egg. The Egg is a lot of
fun in Albany, and now I'm at and now I'm
at the Palace Theater. This is my first time there.
There's still a couple of tickets available, so if there's
any survivors of the Nexium cult up there in Albany,
New York, if you could just give the tickets to them.
They've gone through a lot with the branding and whatnot.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
We've been following you for a long time. We love
seeing you at the Palace. If you ever have time,
next time you're in town, come on it in person.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Okay, absolutely, Man, you're a hell of a human being. Man,
keep it up. Brad Williams Comedian Brad Williams picks one
of the six.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Thanks guys,
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